Imtiaz Sooliman – Zohra Ismail Sooliman Cofounder of the Gift of the Givers Turning 24 this month
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Music. Welcome back. You tuned into inspired afternoons. And yes,
our a weekly afternoon dose of motivation, inspiration,
empowerment and education. And now it's time for my NPO segment, and
today I'd like to
acknowledge a phenomenal sister, a backbone of a world renowned
organization, the pillar of strength there to that
organization and someone who works behind the scene to make it
happen, also a visionary in terms of seeing that, not only when it
comes to relief efforts. Not only do we do, we need physical aid as
well, but the emotional support to help somebody, a victim, become a
survivor, to empower somebody. Because after a while, once your
physical needs are met, people need to start then healing and the
process of healing is what then makes a break person, in terms of
them restarting and then becoming mentors themselves through the
hardship is that transition period where you require support. So a
gift of the givers. Does have a counseling, supports.
They they have. They have a part of the offering is counseling
support in the director of the gift of the givers counseling is
sister Zora Suleman. She is the spouse of Doctor EMIA Inka
Suleiman, the co founder of the gift of the givers. As I've said,
mentioned the backbone and the spiller a pillar of strength of
this huge international organization she has been in.
She has worked as a relief worker in many, many war torn areas as
well, but her focus is emotional well being and assisting people
move from becoming victims to survivors and to achieve emotional
well being. So once they better versions of themselves, they can
then give back and become positive members of society. So let me
welcome Sister Zora to inspired afternoons. Assalamu, Alaikum,
Sister Zora and welcome to afternoons.
Walekum, salaam, Warahmatullah, Barakatu and thank you for having
me. It's an absolute pleasure. Last week, chatted on
International Women's Day. So I'm so pleased. Incidentally, I was
just telling my producer, salilo that I I just spoke early on to
Doctor Fauci from Malaysia, and I said, How Allah made this
coincidence that I spoke to her earlier, chatting to her about
Ramadan in Malaysia, as well as the issue of the situation in
Palestine from her perspective, and there I'm speaking to you on
the same day. Alhamdulillah. So a beautiful co in coincidence.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. So sister Zora, the gift of the
givers counseling wing has is 24 years now in the running, and you
are the director of this in and I think that's what also I had not,
not many people are aware that gift of the givers does offer
counseling services, and you are the director of this much needed
support, the emotional support. Tell us a little bit about the
counseling that you offer, and who is it aimed at, and where you
based, or is it telephonically and then they many people can reach
you.
Okay, so let's start off by saying it's the service itself is called
the gift of the givers. Care line counseling. We started in 1997
previous to that, from 1995 to 1997 we focused on training. So we
made sure that if our volunteers are there for people who are in
need of psychological and emotional support, they had to be
adequately trained to be able to offer that kind of service to the
people in need. And to answer your question, we're based in Peter
Marit
service there, where we see people on a face to face basis, telephone
counseling, now with covid, we also doing zoom counseling, and we
have been doing email counseling as well. And
our services are not only for Muslims, it is for all race groups
and all cultural groups and religious groups so and the whole
idea for keeping it open to everybody was I mean, when
somebody has pain, emotional pain, whether it's if somebody's passed
away, a Muslim person has lost somebody, a loved one, a Jewish
person or a Christian person or a Hindu person has lost someone, the
pain is the same. So for us, we reach out to everybody,
irrespective.
Race, religion or culture,
absolutely, I and I'm sure now with covid, many, many people have
had bereavements in their families, and there's a great deal
for bereavement counseling. I myself am a bereavement counselor,
and I've under with the South African National Women's Forum,
we've set up a bereavement counseling services so I can
identify in terms of of bereavement counseling. So I'm
sure during the covid period they must have an increased need for
bereavement counseling. Yes, I would say more. Last year, last
year, the number of our clients skyrocketed, and there was a lot
of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot of PTSD and and those kind of
conditions. And then there was always also the loss, you know,
the there were people grieving and, and so they needed that kind
of counseling. They also the children, children who had lost
parents or ja and or lost siblings and and other loved ones in their
family. We also do a special group with children, because children
don't have the emotional literacy to express themselves how they
feel and they they can't tell you. They depressed. They can't tell
you, they said. So we have a specialized program that we run
over eight weeks with children groups. And it's, it's we use play
skills to do the bereavement counseling with children. So yes,
last year, our figures were very high. This year, we it seems like
people have sort of come to terms with it. They're less stressed,
less anxious and and almost have embraced it as a new way of life.
Absolutely, Sister Zora, I'm showing you, started in the late
90s, even now, in close communities, in some communities,
you know, people feel there's no need for counseling. You know, in
some communities as well, you'd see like, you know, it to be
discounted as it's, it's not necessary, or, you know what?
Yeah, it's they, they, but they still get stigma attached to
somebody going to a counselor, even if you you reach out to a
counselor, you try and keep it under wraps so you might be judged
unfairly. And why did stigma towards something that's important
and so vital to assist somebody in terms of emotional well being?
You know, the moment it becomes a mental condition, like anxiety,
depression, PTSD, all of these are mental conditions, and the moment
it is something like that, people think, Oh, I'm mad, or you mad, or
you're going to see a psychologist, or you having
medication from a psychiatrist. So you know what you mad? Or you off
your head, or something that I'm just using the colloquial
language. But what people don't realize very much like somebody
has diabetes, where the chemical imbalances, where the chemicals
are imbalanced in the pancreas, and maybe they need more insulin
or whatever and medication to balance out their blood sugar
levels. Very much in the same way is a mental condition where the
chemicals in the brain are imbalanced, either through a
trauma or or like, like we've been going through this period with
covid, or either because there's a genetic problem with with the
chemical imbalance in the brain. Now, the brain is very much an
organ like your heart, like your pancreas, your kidney, your liver,
or any any other organ in your body. But somehow, when somebody
has to go for counseling or see a psychiatrist, there is the stigma
that still, although it's it's much reduced compared to the past,
but we still find people who have, they are against the idea, or they
have, they have a judgment against somebody who goes to counseling,
or they themselves won't go despite how much they are
suffering. They won't go because they feel that there's a stigma
attached to it. So it's very much so. And this is where I think our
people need to see that they need to change their view on how they
look at a mental condition. It doesn't mean you're mad, that
that's not psychosis, it's not schizophrenia or one of the more
extreme psychological conditions. These are everyday problems that
we all suffer, anxiety, depression, PTSD, acute stress
disorder and the list can go on, grief, bereavement, all of that.
Divorce, you know, there's problems in marriages, there's
children, where there's behavior problems, or there's problems in
the family. These are all areas that can be a.
Dressed through a psychologist or through a psychiatrist. Let's say,
for instance, ADHD, the child may require some medication, and with
it, adjunctive counseling. And this gives you so much of relief.
It gives you so much of you know you can handle your problem. Gives
you mastery over your condition, and you become empowered in what
you are dealing with, and then you develop resilience. So people need
to see it from that perspective.
Sister Zara, you gave us so much food for thought in is, I love
what you said in terms of when you receive counseling, you understand
what is happening to you. Because Absolutely, when you have these
feelings in it, you yourself think, Am I mad? Is there
something wrong with me? Why am I feeling like this? You you can't
pinpoint or label why you're feeling like this. And when we
come for counseling, people are there to say what you are
experiencing, and they've put a name. There's a medical term post
traumatic stress syndrome. You you're given a medical term. You
have a twin counselor who even gives you symptoms, what you're
experiencing. It makes sense. You are empowered now in terms of your
own healing, how you're going from there, because you have somebody
that empathizes, somebody that understands and also somebody that
breaks that, said Mark to say, No, you're not made, you're not this,
or you're not being because I think one of the challenges, or I
find in terms of counseling, is many people are then written off.
They've been possessed. There's something wrong with you. You've
been possessed. You You need to pray this in and get help because
there's something wrong with you. So then external factor, I don't
know. I'm sure you've come across this where clients have come to
you and said, I've been accused of being possessed.
Yes, there's a lot of that type of thing where people say, you know,
in English, where they say witchcraft, or, you know, Jadu, or
something like that has been done on them. So what they are
experiencing is not actually valid psychological symptoms, but they
attribute it to the to this other phenomena. And what people need to
realize that when they go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist,
and like you said earlier, once they understand if the counselor
is explaining to them, these are the symptoms of PTSD, or these are
the symptoms of depression. You know you, you you not eating, or
you're not sleeping very well, or you
you can't make you have difficulty in concentrating. You cannot focus
on the tasks that you're doing. It affects your decision making. So
those are all symptoms of, let's say, for example, depression,
depression, some of it is overlap with the PTSD say, oh, okay, now I
know this is, you know, I'm not abnormal, or I'm not losing it,
considering, under the circumstances that have been
through. This is very normal. And then, of course, you also the
counselor will tell you this is a temporary condition, and the more
we can work with it, sometimes you need medical
assistance with it, to use as a crutch in the beginning and and
then with adjunct therapy. But over time, this problem will be
resolved, and you will be back to your normal self again,
and that problem will be resolved with good support. And
operative word, with good support, counselor support. And then I
think your your primary support. So for me, part of the counseling
is family members need to be counseled on the condition of the
patient, for them to offer the appropriate support. Because the
thing is, even if somebody, if I come to you, sister Zora, for
counseling, and you give me the encouragement, counselor advice,
come in that, but if I go back to an environment that is toxic and
nobody understands me, it's counterproductive. So I think
counseling is a holistic in terms of, you have your patient that
coming to you, you have this facility, and then the family
needs to be counseled in the appropriate, supported
intervention. They need to give outside of the counselor space,
very much so. And Sister Mariam, you mentioned a very important
point, you know, in in in colloquial language, a lot of
people will be bending around labels, such as, if somebody is
got some kind of depression, maybe they got bipolar or whatever. But
you know, just people, the lay people will say, you know, he's
bipolar, she's bipolar, he's Schizo, or things like that. We
just use terms like that and label people around without
understanding what the symptoms of the condition are. And that's one
of the reasons, probably why the stigma is reinforced, because
people.
Use these psychological condition labels very loosely,
absolutely, and I think it's important we're having this
discussion. Because, you know, when we think of MPOs, we think
about giving aid, distribution of aid, empowerment programs, skill
development programs, and yes, these are all in his place,
if the recipient has a barrier to receiving this aid, or even when
it's empowering, empowering programs, if you have a recipient
who has a barrier in terms of the so let's say you have you you
empowering them with the sewing class, but somebody who has been
maybe a victim of sexual abuse and violence, and that they're not in
the right space to receive what you're giving them. So it might be
must consume that you're not we're giving these group of ladies
skills and empowering. They're not receptive. Yes, they're not
receptive because they're not in a right space of mind. You've been
to water zones, in travel zones, and after the aid, and once
they've had something to eat, your mind starts to process the trauma,
whether you had to flee your home, grab your children, you are faced,
facing a barrel of the gun, or running from bombs and things like
this. Once you've eat, once you've got clothing, what happens
mentally, your body, your mind, starts processing this thing, and
you're not the same person in you've seen. Hence, counseling is
not a luxury.
Definitely, counseling is very expensive for people out there who
who go to psychologists and psychiatrists, they know what the
fees are like I on average you pay for a for a
counseling session, you'd pay about 1000 Rand, and then that to
your session is 50 minutes, and then time is up and you have to
make another appointment. Now, who has the money to go in every week
or every second week to go and pay 1000 Rand when things are so tight
and difficult economically nowadays? So alhamdulillah. With
our counseling service, not everybody there is
is a psychologist, but we have a social worker who oversees the day
to day running of the counseling we I'm the psychologist there, and
we have a social auxiliary worker and the rest of the counselors,
some of them are social auxiliary workers, but most of them have
been trained in counseling, and because we feel that they need to
be upgraded on their skills on a regular basis, we continuously do
this on a monthly, quarterly base where topics that are
relevant at the Time some some issue is is rife at the time, then
we would run a workshop or or give extra information on that topic,
so that our counselors and we all are well resourced when we see
clients having those kind of problems. So alhamdulillah, with
the counseling service this, as you said, it's a luxury, but with
gift of the givers care, and they give it for free. And although we
are based in Peter Maritzburg, but people can reach us from all over
the country, we've fielded calls from as far as Maputo as the UK.
So all you need is a telephone, and we've got a toll free line. I
suppose if it's overseas, then it doesn't work for toll free, but
local, we've got our toll free number, and people can reach us
from any part of South Africa, but the only restriction is that they
won't be able to come in for a face to face, but they can do a
zoom appointment. They can do, you know, email us, and we can do a
telephone counseling so that is for free. And so people out there
who are having
any kind of emotional difficulty, they must feel free to call the
gift of the givers care line, because we only a phone call away,
and sister Zora, the telephone number will be on the dicta. Give
us the website. Is the counseling service on the website? Yes, it's
there. There is a link. There's a quick link. The moment you go into
the gift of the givers, you'll see a whole lot of links there. And
then gift of the givers, Careline counseling service will come up.
And then you just click on that, and then it will open up all the
services of the of the Carolina counseling service, perfect. So
anybody listening, help is at hand, as sister Zora said,
counseling is pricey, but Alhamdulillah, there is a option,
gift of the givers here, including the Sterling, the work they do in
terms of humanitarian aid, relief, empowerment, skills, programs,
very, very vital gift of the givers counseling service, and
it's available. So should you require the service? Please do
visit gift of the givers website and follow the link from the gift
of the givers counseling service, and then you will have all the
information at your disposal regarding what counselor services
you.
Is on offer. We wish you well, and please continue the sterling work
you do. As I say, You are the backbone, not only of the
counseling service, but of the entire organization, and the
pillar of strength. And yes, you have very, very strong shoulders,
because I think you bear the burden of everybody coming there,
all the staff, all the volunteers, all the things. It's a huge
responsibility. And they say, Allah gives you only what you can
handle. So Alhamdulillah, Allah has seen you capable of this. So I
always tell people, even when they come to me for counselor and they
feel overwhelmed, and I say, think you know what Allah is giving this
because you have the skill. So sometimes we need to look at it
positively, seated nahma and embrace it, because that's what
I've learned to do. Instead of complaining I have so much on my
flight, unless given it from a reason, because I they now can
manage. So now, just like that, are they? Please embrace it,
because not everybody has the capacity to do this. So if you
feel that you know what, family, community, society, everybody
needs a piece of you, extended family. Give them that and embrace
it as a nihma. And I'm sure you do this, I can see you smiling and
nodding because you've certainly have embraced sister Zora in her
various capacities and roles and functions.
Alhamdulillah and and what I would like to say on this public forum
is that this would not be possible without the volunteers. We have
about 15 volunteers. Some of them are there when we started out in
1997 so they really, really, you know, loyal and committed and
dedicated. And they've very, very experienced. Now, when you talk to
them, you know they, they they've got so much of experience, and
they've helped so many people and and with the 15 of them that are
there, I must say, this Careline can't run without them. Or the
social worker, or the social auxiliary worker or the
psychologist, we all are needed there to make this service the
success it is, and to reach out to the people that need our our help.
And we'd like to acknowledge you, Inshallah, the Almighty give you
another 24 years, and even above it, continue as you say, you've
got Sterling volunteers, and I'm sure you might be grooming and
priming the younger generation to keep up the legacy and and to
continue, because this good work that give a givers do,
irrespective who is there, needs to continue, because the
foundation has been built and the legacy continues. So we make dua,
may the legacy continue, and the almighty plant yourself, as well
as all the volunteers, good health and strength in service of Dean
and humanity at life,
absolute pleasure. Sister Zora and I'd like to put this opportunity
to wish you well, as well as the entire gift of the givers family,
from our family here at Salah media, to the gift of the givers
family, joyous pleasure, Blessed Eid and fruitful last few days of
Ramadan Inshallah, made the Almighty accept all our efforts in
our ibada,
Amin JazakAllah, and the same for you and the same for all the
listeners. I mean, it's been an absolute pleasure, as always. That
is our mother, support, mentor, sister, Zora Suleman, co founder
of gift of the givers, and director of gift of the givers
counseling. And yes, with that, it is the rack. It is a show for
today. I really, really enjoyed my time on inspired afternoons.
Ramadan 1442 and it's been a pleasure. And tomorrow will be,
sadly, our last day of inspired afternoons from me as a host for
1442 been a delight. It just feels like the other day I was
introducing inspired afternoons. And yes, here we are almost this
is our app in altama show tomorrow being the last show from me
presenting my colleague and JIRA sister, Nafisa, will then be doing
the last two segments, depending on when is ID. Yeah, and I'd leave
you with a thought, when would you like Eid? Thursday or Friday? What
is your day of preference, irrespective of Moon sighting we
need to see. But everybody has a preference. Brother Ponti told me
he's making dua. It is on Thursday. And personally, I feel
it will be lovely. It is on a Friday. We have a double khutbah,
and it's a blessed day. So double bonus blessings, if not Friday,
but any day, Alhamdulillah, my preference is though Friday, let's
see whatever, what Allah puts out for us in Almighty puts out for us
and plans for us. So with that until tomorrow, peace and
blessings may you be under the mercy and protection of the
Almighty. You.