Keys to Prophetic Parenting – Key #02 Compassion

Ibrahim Hindy


Channel: Ibrahim Hindy


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What is the most important foundation for our relationship with our children? As someone who has worked as an Imam for many years, I've had many situations where people approached me and asked me to intervene with their child. They say my child is doing this or that, can you please speak with them? Maybe they will listen to you. After do this a few times when I would speak to these kids or these teens, I wouldn't begin by asking them a certain question. Do your parents love you? Does your mother love you? Does your father love you? Now it seems like an obvious question. These parents obviously love their children, I can see it in their faces. It's the reason they're desperate to get

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help with their children. It's the reason they're reaching out to me to begin with. But while it might be obvious to you and I, it's not always obvious to the child, often the response I would hear back from these kids would be, I don't know, when children don't know that you love them. When they don't know that you care deeply about them. It creates a fractured, broken relationship between the child and the parent. That's why it is essential for us to build a compassionate relationship with our children. compassion, affection, love has to be the foundation of the parent child relationship. I know it might sound cliche to say parents must love their children. But really, it's more than

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that. It's about creating an environment where it is undeniable that the parent deeply cares for their child. That love doesn't just exist, like some abstract concept, but it has repeatedly demonstrated in action, something that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam demonstrated time and time again with his children. Whenever our Prophet salallahu alaihe salam would enter his house or when he would leave his house, he would often kissed the forehead of his daughter Fawlty model, the long line that this act of kissing his daughter on the forehead every day, it acts as a constant reminder. If she's ever upset with her father, for whatever reason, if he disciplined her as a

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parent sometimes needs to discipline his children, or if you refuse to allow her to do something that she wanted to do. Do you ever think that that would lead to strife between them that would lead to problems between them? Do you think faulty men would ever wonder like those children were wondering if her father really loves her when he kisses her on the forehead every single day? Of course not. That love is repeatedly demonstrated. The evidence of her father's love is undeniable in her eyes, and is symptomatic of the long run who said mt are at a high then cannot handle will Allah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said I never saw anyone more merciful, more compassionate

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with children and the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. That was his character. He demonstrated compassion and mercy to children. The Prophet was once kissing his grandsons and has an Hussein or the Allahu Allah on him. When a Bedouin men scoffed, he saw this, he scoffed, he said, You kiss your sons. I have 10 children. I never kissed a single one of them. He said this as a matter of pride, humans, I'm raising my kids to be tough and strong. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam looked at him and he said to him, I will Emily coloca inessa Allahu Allah kurama. He said, What can I do for you? If God has removed mercy from your heart? Meaning what benefit can I provide

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you? Even as the Messenger of Allah what benefit can I provide you if you don't have mercy in your heart, then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said his famous saying, malaria or ham, like your ham, whoever does not show compassion will not be shown compassion. This phrase is a famous hadith of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that we see often in many, many contexts. Yet, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it in the context of our relationship with our children, and in being merciful to our children. Those who do not show compassion will not be shown compassion. When we don't demonstrate love for our children, it leaves room for a pawn to operate,

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to convince our children that their parents don't actually love them or care for them. And I'll clean Institute, we have research that shows that kids that have a fractured relationship with their parents are more likely to leave a snap. And that's why it's so important for us to build a relationship with our kids based on compassion and love. Now, some parents might be thinking, look, I'm balanced when I demonstrate strictness and toughness with my kids, in equal measure to love and compassion. I'm strict, and I'm loving. But psychologists have shown that with adults, this is a study with married couples with with fully grown adults. Now we interpret negative interactions as

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five times more impactful than positive interactions. Meaning if you yell at someone, one negative interaction, you need to demonstrate love at least five times for it to be seen as equal in their eyes. And that's for adults. Imagine how impactful negative interactions are with children who are far more sensitive than adults. And that's why we have to show an overabundance of care and concern and compassion to children, especially when they are young, especially as we're trying to build a foundation of our relationship with them. And what better example do we have in this than the Prophet sallallahu? How do you send them who do this all the time with salmon

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news eight are the Allahu Allah and who was born and raised in the house of our Prophet. He narrated that when he was young, the prophet had him and his grandson and Hasson sitting on his two thighs, and he hugged them close. And he held them to himself. And he said alohomora metheny, or Hama? He said, Oh Allah show them mercy for indeed I show them mercy. What are some keys that we can use to help build a loving home to create a loving relationship with our children? Number one, we need to demonstrate our love for our children. say the words say to them, I love you hug them and kiss them often. Research has shown that kids need hugs from their parents. Not only does it help them with

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their emotional development, but even their physical and their brain development is enhanced through a parent's hug for their child. And many parents will do this when their kids are young, but they tend to stop as their kids get older. We should demonstrate our love for our kids throughout their lives to ensure a strong relationship. Number two, even when we are disciplining our children, we still communicate affection to them. As you talk to them about something that they've done wrong, you can put your hand on their shoulder, thus maintaining a level of affection with your child, or you can share a hug with them after you've had a stern conversation with them. Number three, we need

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to also compliment and encourage our kids encouragement and praise builds a child's self confidence and also builds a warm relationship between you and the child. We need to look for reasons to encourage and praise our children. Look at how the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would speak about his companions how he was constantly complimenting and encouraging them. Our books of Hades are full of compliments and praise that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would shower upon his companions. He would look with a positive eye for things that they excelled in and praise them for it. He would say Abu Bakar is the most compassionate of the oma for the oma aroma is the strongest

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in religion. Earth man is the most sincere in modesty it is the wisest judge obey is the best in reciting the book of a law. And another Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says to send him in Sabbath, unleash your poetry gibreel will be with you. This spirit of positive praise and encouragement, built a strong love between the companions and the Prophet sallallahu How do you send them and it shows us that encouraging our children is deeply important and helps us helps us build a loving relationship with our children. May Allah subhanaw taala make our homes loving, compassionate homes and