Ibraheem Menk – The Benefit Of Removing Yourself From Negative Company
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the history and importance of Islam, including the importance of removing oneself from the equation and segregating oneself from society. They stress the success of segregating oneself and addressing one's actions, as it is crucial to prevent harm from the crowd. The success of segregating oneself and trying to combat harm comes from acknowledging and addressing one's actions, as it is crucial to prevent bad behavior from the crowd. The success of segregating oneself and trying to combat harm comes from sharing good deeds and addressing one's actions.
AI: Summary ©
The people whom we surround ourselves with are
those whom we will be raised with Yawmul
Qiyamah.
One hadith of Rasulullah ﷺ tells us, المرء
مع من أحب A man will be with
the one whom he loves, with those whom
he loves.
So, the background to this hadith is interesting
as well.
Rasulullah ﷺ was being questioned, he was being
asked, that we don't have many good deeds
that perhaps will enter us into Jannah, but
we love Allah and His Messenger.
So, Rasulullah ﷺ said, المرء مع من أحب
A man is with the ones whom he
loves.
So, the question is, who do we love?
Is it those who are attached to the
dunya, and they are driven by the dunya,
and they have no other purpose but the
dunya, or is it those who are attached
to the Akhirah, those who are attached to
Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal, those who are
attached to Rasulullah ﷺ, those who are attached
to the Qur'an, those who are attached
to the Sunnah, those who are attached to
good deeds.
Who is it that we would like to
surround ourselves with?
And who is it that we actually surround
ourselves with?
المرء على دين خليله فلينظر أحدكم من يخالد
A man is on the religion of his
companion, of his friend.
So, let one of you take a look
at whom his friend is.
You see, back in the day, there were
some youth, and this is mentioned in Surah
Al-Kahf, that there were some youth who
noticed that their people were doing a wrongdoing.
They were worshipping other than Allah Rabbul Izzati
wal Jalal.
So, they would have a festival and go
out of the city, and they would make
a big do out of it.
They would worship the idols.
So, as these people are worshipping the idols,
these youth were separate.
They were on their own.
But they noticed that something is amiss here.
Something is wrong.
How can these people be worshipping these idols?
So, they chose to separate themselves from the
crowd.
And remember, that these were individuals.
They were alone.
And they chose to separate themselves from the
crowd.
So, they found themselves in a group all
together.
And they realized that they have a common
purpose.
So, firstly, take a look at that.
They are alone.
They recognize that what these people are doing
is wrong.
So, that is where the beginning of good
friendship comes from.
It comes from your heart.
مَنْ رَأَى مِنْكُمْ مُنْكَرًا فَلْيُغَيِّرْهُ بِيَدِهِ فَإِنْ لَمْ
يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِلِسَانِهِ فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِقَلْبِهِ So, the
one of you who sees an evil deed,
then let him change it with his hand.
فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ And if he is unable
to do that, then let him change it.
فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِلِسَانِهِ So, with his tongue,
let him speak up.
فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِقَلْبِهِ And if he is
unable, then with his heart.
So, the least you can do is to
recognize that this is evil.
They recognized that this is wrong, this is
evil, these people shouldn't be doing it.
So, they found themselves separate, different from those
people.
And Allah SWT united them together.
And this is what happens when you recognize
that which is evil and you separate yourself
from the crowd, automatically you find yourself surrounded
by those who are like-minded.
Those who are like-minded.
Today, a similar example.
Let me break it down and bring it
closer to our hearts.
Let us assume that we are all sitting
here speaking about other people.
And we are backbiting them.
And we are slandering them.
And we realize all people around us are
doing so.
And we realize that what is happening here
is wrong.
Who is it that will have the guts
and the courage to stand up and say,
I am separating myself from this crowd.
You don't have to do it in a
rude manner.
You can actually say, As-salamu alaykum, I
am leaving.
Why?
وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا And when the
ignorant ones address them, then they say, Salaam,
peace be upon you.
Meaning, I have nothing to do with what
you guys are engaged in right now.
You find yourselves in a nightclub.
You find yourselves in a place where alcohol
is being consumed.
You find yourself in a place where people
are consuming drugs.
What do you do?
You remove yourself from the equation.
Step number one, remove yourself from the equation.
Because you've recognized that this is wrong.
And Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal will bring
about a lot of goodness.
If you are strong enough, you can stand
up and say, This is wrong.
And we shouldn't be doing it.
And that will be an evidence for you
with Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal.
If you are able to, and these people
would accept from you, you can physically stop
them from doing so.
Some two people are fighting, you hold them
back.
That is a witness and evidence for you
with Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal.
But it all starts from the heart because
you need to recognize that this is wrong.
If you don't recognize that it is wrong
in the first place, then you continue to
engage in that discussion and in that activity.
So these youth removed themselves.
And Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal tells us,
وَإِذْ اِعْتَزَلْتُمُوهُمْ وَمَا يَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ فَأُوْ إِلَى
الْكَهْفِ يَنْشُرْ لَكُمْ رَبُّكُمْ مِنْ رَحْمَتِهِ وَيُهَيْءْ لَكُمْ
مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مِنْ رَفَقَةً And when you segregated
yourselves from them, you removed yourselves from them,
and that which they were worshipping besides Allah
Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal.
So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, So
seclude yourselves in the cave.
Seclude yourselves in the cave.
You see, they recognized it was wrong, they
removed themselves from the equation.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, Even if
it means going to live on your own
in a cave, better than to engage in
this discussion and in these activities with these
people.
Why?
Because they are worshipping other than Allah Rabbul
Izzati wal Jalal.
So generally, seclusion in Islam is not praiseworthy.
You are not meant to seclude yourself and
live all alone like a hermit.
You are meant to be part of society.
If that harm that you receive from society
is minimal, then you are meant to integrate
with society, live with them, have patience upon
their harm, try to combat that harm, try
to address the harm that is coming to
you from them.
But when it becomes such that you are
becoming like them, you will be a part
of them, then if your only solution is
to segregate yourself and seclude yourself, then you
do so.
These people found no other solution but to
segregate themselves.
What does Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala say?
يَنْشُرُ لَكُمْ رَبُّكُمْ مِنْ رَحْمَتِهِ وَيُهَيِّئْ لَكُمْ مِنْ
أَمْرِكُمْ مِنْ رَفَقَةً Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
will spread His mercy upon you.
His mercy will be showered upon you.
Why?
Because secluding yourself, segregating yourself, differentiating yourself is
never easy.
It is not easy to do so.
When you are in a crowd and people
are doing something, you feel ashamed to do
it.
You feel ashamed to get up and say,
I am not a part of this.
I can't be a part of this.
But when you do it for Allah, Rabbul
Izzati wal Jalal, what happens?
The Rahmah of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
descends upon you.
يَنْشُرُ لَكُمْ رَبُّكُمْ مِنْ رَحْمَتِهِ وَيُهَيِّئْ لَكُمْ مِنْ
أَمْرِكُمْ مِنْ رَفَقَةً And Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala will make your matters easy for you.
Why?
Because you chose Allah over everyone and everything
else.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala opens up the
doors for you.
And this is when you will find success.
How can you change your life?
When the same people that you've been integrating
with and living with and surrounding yourself with
are the ones whom you are living with
today and they are the ones that are
holding you down.
They are pulling you down.
They are the ones who have bad habits.
They do wrong deeds.
They engage in backbiting and slandering and hating
others.
And you continue because, you know what, they
are my friends.
No, you advise them, you give them a
warning, you remind them and if they don't
take heed, you remove yourself from that situation.
And then you will find that the success
comes.
That is when Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal
opens up your doors.
You know, they say that don't stay with
those who remind you of your past.
Those who remind you of your past.
Because, for example, you are smoking cigarettes, right?
You have a group of friends.
Every time you meet, you light up and
you're busy smoking a cigarette.
And now you give up that bad habit.
When you get to that group, even if
they don't tell you to light up, even
if they don't offer you the cigarette, and
they don't say take one, come on man.
The least that will happen to you is
you will wish to smoke that cigarette with
them.
Why?
Because it is a bad habit that you
engaged in with them.
This is the environment that you did it
in.
They're all doing it, I might as well
do it too.
You want to give up that cigarette for
sure?
Then leave those people.
Advise them.
Tell them, look, I've left this habit so
while perhaps, at least while you are smoking.
You're not bad people, but you have this
bad habit.
While you are smoking, I won't be part
of your group.
Go elsewhere and do it.
And if a person is a true friend,
a true friend will realize that this is
bad for me and it's bad for him.
He's quit it, I should wish him goodness.
I should make dua of thabat, where Allah
SWT will give him the ability to continue
in kicking this bad habit.
So I will go elsewhere and do my
things quietly and come back.
And that friend may then be influenced with
goodness.
Why?
Because they wanted goodness for you as well.
They wanted goodness for you as well.
لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ
لِنَفْسِهِ One of you does not completely believe
until he loves for his brother that which
he loves for himself.
So you love for yourself to quit that
bad habit.
You hope that you can give it up.
Then what you do is you wish and
you hope and you pray for your brother
who has given it up to keep that
way.
For Allah SWT to keep him that way.
So you see the importance of removing yourself
from that equation.
When you remove yourself from that bad company,
Allah SWT says يَنْشُرْ لَكُمْ رَبُّكُمْ بِالرَّحْمَةِ Allah
SWT will spread his mercy over you.
وَيُهَيِّ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مِرْفَقًا And then he
makes everything easy for you.
Ibrahim AS, he called his people and told
them to worship none other than Allah SWT.
To worship the one, the only being who
is worthy of worship.
The supreme sovereign.
And they refused, they rejected him.
Outright, his own father rejected him.
So Allah SWT tells us when his condition
changed.
وَإِذَا اِعْتَزَلْتُمُوهُمْ وَمَا يَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ Sorry, that's
the wrong ayah.
Allah SWT says فَلَمَّا اِعْتَزَلَهُمْ وَمَا يَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا
اللَّهَ فَلَمَّا اِعْتَزَلَهُمْ وَمَا يَعْبُدُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ
وَهَبْنَا لَهُ إِسْحَاقَ وَيَعْقُوبُ And when he removed
himself from them.
And he made himself different, he differentiated himself
to them.
Then Allah SWT says We granted him Ishaq
and Yaqub.
That is when the help of Allah SWT
came.
But Ibrahim was amongst his people trying to
call them to the right path.
And only when he actually removed himself from
them And he said I've given up on
these people.
Then Allah SWT granted him Ishaq and Yaqub.
So to remove yourself from a negative situation
is of utmost importance.
In fact, if you do not, you are
more than unlikely to succeed in your pursuit.
You are more than unlikely to succeed in
your pursuit.
No matter what that is.
If you have a business idea, you are
doing well.
And you have people around you constantly telling
you You will fail, you will not do
well.
You are a failure, you will not do
well.
You know why?
Because they have implanted these thoughts into your
head.
A person who is well-meaning to you
And well-wishing to you Will come to
you and say I wish you all the
best, I make dua for goodness for you.
Perhaps in this regard and that regard You
can change this and that about yourself.
You can change this about the business.
And maybe then it will be successful.
So in any situation, if you want to
do well Remove yourself from those who bring
about negativity in your life.
Constantly negative.
Constantly giving you bad comments.
You are a bad person.
Look at what you've done in the past.
Look at your...
Those people are the ones who are encouraging
you to go back to what you were.
And those are the ties that are keeping
you tied down to your past.
But you need to snip those ties.
And when you cut them, then you find
that you have broken loose and broken free
Of that, of those people and that negativity.
And then Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal gives
you the ability to succeed.
So, good friendship is of utmost importance.
And especially when it comes to the deen.
When it comes to aspects that are now
affecting your akhira.
And they are affecting your afterlife.
When you choose Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal,
He will prioritize what you want in your
life.
He will give it to you and grant
it to you.
So, we ask Allah Rabbul Izzati wal Jalal
to grant us the ability to prioritize Him.
And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
to give us the ability to cut ties
With those who are completely and totally hurtful
to our akhira.
Ameen.