Ibraheem Menk – Conflict Resolution

Ibraheem Menk
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AI: Summary ©

The speakers discuss the importance of addressing political tension and the "will" of Islam, which involves taking actions based on one's perception of who is present. They stress the need for regular meetings and small groups to address issues and ensure everyone is on the same page. The importance of acknowledging one's own presence and not apologizing for mistakes is emphasized, as well as the importance of maintaining a strong lasting community and communicating actively and staying calm. The speakers also advise parents to renew their intentions in their heart and stay within their feelings, and provide advice on dealing with feelings, including not giving false information and not speaking about things that they don't know.

AI: Summary ©

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			We oftentimes
		
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			hear people saying
		
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			that if I were
		
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			a president of a country,
		
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			or if I were a leader of a
		
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			country in the region
		
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			of Palestine,
		
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			I would have done this and I would
		
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			have done that to end the
		
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			war. And they lay blame
		
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			on the leaders of these countries for doing
		
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			nothing,
		
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			and for sitting back and watching
		
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			the butchering of our brothers and sisters in
		
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			Gaza.
		
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			And the reality is, I'm not here to
		
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			talk about that.
		
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			But I'd like to highlight something.
		
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			I'd like to highlight
		
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			an aspect of this that we perhaps have
		
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			not considered.
		
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			And that is,
		
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			what have we done to rectify
		
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			the situation,
		
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			not in raza,
		
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			but in our own masajid.
		
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			What have we we done
		
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			to rectify
		
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			the situation
		
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			and the infighting
		
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			that we have in our own communities?
		
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			What were have we done to rectify
		
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			the fighting and the battles that are happening
		
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			in our families and extended families?
		
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			Before we can talk about unity,
		
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			and before we can talk about being together
		
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			united as an ummah,
		
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			we need to be able to know
		
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			how to argue,
		
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			and how to resolve
		
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			issues.
		
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			When a dispute arises,
		
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			what is the correct way to go about
		
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			resolving that dispute?
		
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			If we take a look at our masajid,
		
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			most of the masajid, and wallahi, I am
		
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			not aware of the politics,
		
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			neither in this masjid, nor in any of
		
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			the other masajid in London.
		
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			So
		
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			if you feel this is actually
		
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			an attack,
		
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			then no, it isn't.
		
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			But if you feel
		
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			that
		
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			this message
		
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			seems to have been directed at me,
		
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			then that is from Allah
		
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			and Allah knows what I am talking about.
		
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			Because I don't know about the politics that
		
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			are amongst the boards that govern the Masajid
		
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			etcetera.
		
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			But it's high time we begin to speak
		
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			about this.
		
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			It's high time we address
		
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			the fact that we have
		
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			so much political tension within the Masajid,
		
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			that trustees
		
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			on trustee boards cannot talk to one another.
		
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			They don't communicate.
		
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			So you have one trustee
		
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			attacking another, and the other one backbiting the
		
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			other, and you have the chairman speaking bad
		
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			about another. And again, I reiterate,
		
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			I don't know the politics in the Masajid.
		
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			But why is it
		
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			that when we have a dispute,
		
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			we can't resolve the dispute amicably.
		
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			We can't communicate with each other.
		
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			We have to reach a point where I'm
		
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			no longer talking to that brother.
		
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			What happened to
		
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			a believing man does not keep away and
		
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			not greet his brother for more than 3
		
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			days? What happened to that?
		
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			What happened to the teachings of Rasulullah Sallallahu
		
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			Alaihi Wasallam?
		
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			Was this how the companions of the messenger
		
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			salallahu alaihi wa sallam resolved
		
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			their disputes?
		
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			We are fortunate
		
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			to have the Quran in our midst.
		
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			We are fortunate to have the ability to
		
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			go back to.
		
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			Allah said and his messenger said, so why
		
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			don't we do that?
		
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			Disputes will happen my dear brothers and sisters
		
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			in Islam. Disputes
		
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			are bound to
		
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			happen. Even in your marriage.
		
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			You will find that you will have disputes.
		
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			You will have difficulties.
		
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			You will have problems.
		
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			But the manner in which to resolve those
		
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			problems is of utmost importance.
		
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			1st and foremost,
		
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			we need to be sincere
		
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			in our dispute
		
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			as well.
		
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			You know, we often talk about sincerity
		
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			towards each other.
		
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			And part of that sincerity, a test of
		
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			that sincerity
		
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			is when you don't get along with your
		
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			brother,
		
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			but you speak to him in a respectful
		
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			way addressing the issue, trying to resolve it
		
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			for the sake of who?
		
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			Allah.
		
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			Not for my sake.
		
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			Not for your sake. Not for the sake
		
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			of the future generation,
		
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			but for the sake of Allah
		
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			Evermore so,
		
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			in the masajid of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
		
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			And the Masjidah
		
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			for Allah
		
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			The Masjid
		
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			is not your father's.
		
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			The Masjid is not your grandfather's.
		
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			The Masjid is not your uncles and your
		
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			brothers and your aunts' Masjid.
		
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			Even though it may have been founded by
		
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			them.
		
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			That masjid is for Allah
		
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			So what does a believer do? When he
		
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			knows that his presence is more toxic and
		
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			detrimental to the masjid,
		
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			then his absence on the board. He steps
		
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			down bravely
		
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			by saying, I know no. I now know
		
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			that this Masjid will run better without my
		
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			presence in the board. So I will leave
		
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			for the sake
		
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			of
		
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			Allah For the sake of
		
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			Allah That is sincerity.
		
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			Why? Because you can acknowledge
		
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			that my presence is now detrimental
		
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			to this institution and this is for Allah.
		
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			So I will leave for the sake of
		
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			Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
		
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			Not holding on to power, simply because it
		
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			is power. And I must say this, at
		
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			times we hold on to power
		
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			simply because it is a little bit of
		
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			power, and it is only the bit of
		
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			power that we have access to. So we
		
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			hold dearly onto it because we have control
		
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			and authority over people.
		
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			That is a small man syndrome.
		
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			That is a small man syndrome. If you
		
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			are holding on because you feel that, you
		
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			You know what? I'm the big man here.
		
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			Everybody should listen to me. And remember, bear
		
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			in mind. What did I say? Wallahi.
		
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			I don't know the politics of this masjid.
		
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			And Kassam M billah Allah is my witness.
		
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			I don't know the politics any of the
		
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			masajid around London. I do my events in
		
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			event halls.
		
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			So I don't know the
		
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			politics,
		
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			but I've seen this globally. It is a
		
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			phenomenon
		
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			where you have people on the board that
		
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			are running the Masjid masjid and often times
		
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			they are the older generation. We respect them.
		
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			We love them. We appreciate
		
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			the fact that they set up these masajid
		
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			for who?
		
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			For the sake of Allah
		
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			and that is the only reason why we
		
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			perform
		
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			after Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That is the
		
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			only reason why we perform
		
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			salah in this masajid.
		
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			They are here today because 50 years ago
		
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			they made an effort.
		
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			There was,
		
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			you know,
		
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			rampant
		
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			you know, fitna around them as well. People
		
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			were doing whatever they wanted to do, going
		
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			to the nightclubs, etcetera. They came to these
		
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			countries and set up beautiful houses of Allah
		
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			We thank them for that, and we appreciate
		
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			them for that, and we make dua for
		
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			them for that.
		
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			But
		
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			at the same time,
		
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			we must call out
		
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			a wrongdoing when it is a wrongdoing,
		
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			And it becomes a wrongdoing, and you should
		
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			ask yourself. I'm not asking the community to
		
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			kick out those members.
		
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			The member himself should ask himself,
		
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			that is my presence now more detrimental to
		
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			the masjid
		
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			than it is beneficial? And if the question
		
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			if the answer is yes,
		
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			then at that juncture, you need to recuse
		
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			yourself
		
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			and say, I've done this, I set it
		
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			up for Allah. I served for Allah, and
		
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			I live for Allah.
		
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			Say, indeed my salah,
		
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			my life, my living,
		
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			and my death, and my salah, and my
		
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			sacrifice is for Allah, Lord of the worlds.
		
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			Why? Because
		
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			we belong to Allah and to him we
		
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			shall return. I will one day answer to
		
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			Allah.
		
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			And it's time we involve the youth in
		
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			our boards.
		
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			Get them involved. Give them a role. Why?
		
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			Because the youth understand the youth. The youth
		
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			get the youth. The youth know how to
		
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			approach and tackle the issues regarding the youth.
		
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			So give them an opportunity.
		
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			Set up a board,
		
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			an independent
		
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			board
		
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			of
		
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			the trustees and the chairman and the
		
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			executive, etcetera,
		
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			that has given
		
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			these youth a certain number of youth that
		
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			are mature and responsible,
		
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			the ability to set up programs in the
		
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			masjid.
		
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			What will happen? You'll find the masjid becomes
		
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			alive again. The masjid becomes alive again. And
		
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			where they
		
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			are, if it is a slight mistake,
		
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			did you not make mistakes
		
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			along the road?
		
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			Yes, you did.
		
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			So, have mercy upon them. Let them learn
		
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			from their mistakes.
		
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			Be there in a position
		
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			that is guiding them.
		
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			And what is the idea behind these committees,
		
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			these youth committees? It is to have
		
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			them take over one day.
		
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			You are grooming them for leadership
		
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			because you are not here forever,
		
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			and that is sincerity.
		
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			Deen is sincerity.
		
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			We said for who?
		
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			It's for Allah and His Messenger
		
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			and for the rest of the people, your
		
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			community.
		
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			The sincerity is in you stepping down, step
		
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			down uncle. It's time.
		
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			Understand.
		
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			And, the leaders as well. Sincerity is for
		
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			the leaders as well. So I hope that
		
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			this statement and this word of mine today
		
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			is sincere. None of us knows 100% whether
		
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			we are sincere or or not.
		
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			We try to be sincere,
		
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			and we try to be honest and straightforward
		
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			in our speech, but we can't be 100%
		
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			certain. So I hope and I pray that
		
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			my word as well is sincere here today.
		
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			I never intended it as an attack.
		
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			Secondly, you find
		
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			in the home.
		
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			You have disputes, problems,
		
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			difficulties,
		
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			hardships.
		
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			What happens? You are arguing.
		
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			And it is so common today
		
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			for people not to sit down and communicate,
		
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			just to talk.
		
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			But it is so common
		
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			for the man to say, I have given
		
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			you
		
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			and it's over and she's gone.
		
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			One, you've committed a bidah by doing it
		
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			3 times like that. According to the Hanafi
		
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			madhab as well.
		
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			You've done a bidi talak which is to
		
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			give it 3 times in a go. Let
		
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			alone the discussion of whether 3 is 1
		
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			and 1 is 3 etcetera. Let alone that
		
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			discussion put it aside.
		
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			So you don't have
		
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			a period where the person sits, walks away,
		
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			thinks about what he should do next. He
		
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			utters it immediately.
		
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			And the sister says, I want out immediately.
		
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			Due to small
		
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			petty issues we are hearing, brother got married
		
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			today, got divorced next week. What's going on?
		
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			And you spent 50 k on that wedding.
		
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			Did you forget
		
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			that that nikah is for Allah
		
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			as well?
		
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			3 things.
		
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			The seriousness of his it is serious and
		
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			joking is also serious. How many times? We
		
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			have a brother that comes and says, I
		
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			divorced my wife, but I was just joking.
		
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			No.
		
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			Even if you were joking that divorce counts.
		
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			So be serious when you want to say
		
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			those words, ensure that you are ready to
		
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			split up forever, and you don't want to
		
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			be with that person.
		
00:12:53 --> 00:12:56
			And I have patience before that, try to
		
00:12:56 --> 00:12:57
			resolve the issue.
		
00:12:58 --> 00:12:59
			Part of the problem
		
00:13:00 --> 00:13:01
			is that we don't communicate.
		
00:13:02 --> 00:13:04
			We don't talk to each other. We don't
		
00:13:04 --> 00:13:06
			sit down and thrash it out.
		
00:13:06 --> 00:13:11
			Evermore so, when you have husband, wife, mother-in-law,
		
00:13:11 --> 00:13:13
			father-in-law, and all of them living in one
		
00:13:13 --> 00:13:16
			home, sometimes 3, 4 brothers living in one
		
00:13:16 --> 00:13:16
			home.
		
00:13:17 --> 00:13:19
			It becomes difficult to live simply by the
		
00:13:19 --> 00:13:21
			fact and the virtue that you are living
		
00:13:21 --> 00:13:22
			together.
		
00:13:22 --> 00:13:23
			It's normal,
		
00:13:24 --> 00:13:26
			but if you want to live or you
		
00:13:26 --> 00:13:28
			are forced to live in this type of
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:29
			a situation,
		
00:13:29 --> 00:13:32
			you need to have a weekly or
		
00:13:32 --> 00:13:33
			biweekly
		
00:13:34 --> 00:13:37
			gathering where you sit together and say, let's
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:37
			talk.
		
00:13:38 --> 00:13:40
			Air out your problems. What do you have
		
00:13:40 --> 00:13:41
			to say? What do you have to say?
		
00:13:41 --> 00:13:42
			What happens
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45
			because such a short while has passed?
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:48
			You are able to thrash it out. You
		
00:13:48 --> 00:13:51
			are able to go past that problem easily.
		
00:13:52 --> 00:13:55
			Because you know, last week mom you did
		
00:13:55 --> 00:13:56
			this, and you did that, and you said
		
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58
			this and you said that, and it hurts
		
00:13:58 --> 00:13:58
			me.
		
00:13:59 --> 00:14:00
			What happens? Mom apologizes.
		
00:14:01 --> 00:14:04
			Maybe she doesn't apologize. It's okay. It's fine.
		
00:14:04 --> 00:14:05
			She got to here.
		
00:14:05 --> 00:14:06
			It was communicated
		
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09
			to her in a good way so the
		
00:14:09 --> 00:14:10
			behavior changes.
		
00:14:11 --> 00:14:12
			And if it doesn't change
		
00:14:12 --> 00:14:15
			every biweekly we are sitting, every week we
		
00:14:15 --> 00:14:17
			are sitting and discussing, it will come up
		
00:14:17 --> 00:14:17
			again,
		
00:14:17 --> 00:14:20
			It will recur. So, we there is healthy
		
00:14:20 --> 00:14:21
			discussion.
		
00:14:21 --> 00:14:24
			You need to have this majlis and this
		
00:14:24 --> 00:14:27
			sitting in your house. Don't sweep things under
		
00:14:27 --> 00:14:28
			the rug.
		
00:14:28 --> 00:14:30
			Do you know what happens? We say, hey,
		
00:14:31 --> 00:14:34
			let it go. Have sabr, have patience. And
		
00:14:34 --> 00:14:36
			this happens ever more so from and I'm
		
00:14:36 --> 00:14:39
			not attacking the males again. You know, it's
		
00:14:39 --> 00:14:40
			a problem in this country.
		
00:14:41 --> 00:14:42
			When you want to talk and you say
		
00:14:42 --> 00:14:44
			the males do something wrong, they say, you
		
00:14:44 --> 00:14:46
			are so and so. You see, you are
		
00:14:46 --> 00:14:48
			just a a simp, and that's why you're
		
00:14:48 --> 00:14:51
			talking about the the the males being wrong.
		
00:14:51 --> 00:14:53
			You never ever talk about the females. The
		
00:14:53 --> 00:14:55
			females are also wrong in certain cases.
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:56
			But you do find that
		
00:14:57 --> 00:15:00
			when a man's mother and father is wrong,
		
00:15:01 --> 00:15:03
			he finds it very difficult to stand up
		
00:15:03 --> 00:15:06
			for his wife And to say, mom, dad,
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:08
			here you're wrong. And where his wife is
		
00:15:08 --> 00:15:09
			wrong,
		
00:15:09 --> 00:15:12
			he finds it very difficult as well to
		
00:15:12 --> 00:15:15
			say, hey. You're wrong here. And they are
		
00:15:15 --> 00:15:16
			right.
		
00:15:16 --> 00:15:18
			But you have to. Why? Not because of
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:20
			me and not because of the next man.
		
00:15:20 --> 00:15:21
			Because Allah
		
00:15:22 --> 00:15:22
			says,
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:40
			Oh you who have believed,
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:42
			stand up for justice,
		
00:15:42 --> 00:15:43
			upright.
		
00:15:44 --> 00:15:46
			Even if it is against yourself, I am
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:47
			wrong, I am sorry.
		
00:15:48 --> 00:15:50
			I am wrong, I am sorry.
		
00:15:51 --> 00:15:53
			That's all you need to say.
		
00:15:53 --> 00:15:56
			When your mother and father is wrong,
		
00:15:57 --> 00:15:59
			all you need to say is respect fully.
		
00:16:00 --> 00:16:02
			Mom, dad, here I think she is right
		
00:16:02 --> 00:16:03
			and you are wrong.
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:06
			Wallahi, you need to say it. Why?
		
00:16:06 --> 00:16:08
			Not because I said it. Not because the
		
00:16:08 --> 00:16:11
			next man said it. Because Allah has said
		
00:16:11 --> 00:16:11
			it.
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:15
			Because you're not here forever brother and sister.
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:18
			You are going to stand before Allah
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:21
			Did you forget about that? Do you doubt
		
00:16:21 --> 00:16:24
			that? Is that why you don't stand up
		
00:16:24 --> 00:16:25
			for justice in your homes?
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:28
			You see what I mean by
		
00:16:28 --> 00:16:29
			when I say
		
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31
			that we are easy to pay lip service
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:34
			and say we stand for Palestine, and we
		
00:16:34 --> 00:16:35
			will fight for them, and we will give
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:37
			our lives if we have to. But you
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:38
			can't give up
		
00:16:39 --> 00:16:41
			a little bit of your is that what
		
00:16:41 --> 00:16:43
			they call is that your honor.
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:45
			And just say, you know, here I am
		
00:16:45 --> 00:16:46
			wrong.
		
00:16:47 --> 00:16:49
			It's okay. I apologize. I'm sorry. Stomp on
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:50
			your ego.
		
00:16:51 --> 00:16:52
			And you know what happens?
		
00:16:52 --> 00:16:56
			When you practice this, it becomes easier for
		
00:16:56 --> 00:16:56
			you to do it.
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:01
			And Allah
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:03
			actually raises
		
00:17:03 --> 00:17:04
			a person,
		
00:17:10 --> 00:17:13
			And Allah, He raises a person when he
		
00:17:13 --> 00:17:14
			forgives,
		
00:17:14 --> 00:17:17
			and he raises a person when he puts
		
00:17:17 --> 00:17:19
			himself down for the sake of Allah
		
00:17:20 --> 00:17:22
			You think you are humiliating yourself
		
00:17:23 --> 00:17:25
			because I needed to apologize. It is me
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:26
			humiliating myself.
		
00:17:27 --> 00:17:29
			But in reality, you are raising yourself in
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:30
			the eyes of Allah
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:34
			Imagine, you leave
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38
			that argument. You know, sometimes arguments get to
		
00:17:38 --> 00:17:40
			a point where it's toxic, and you know
		
00:17:40 --> 00:17:42
			you are not winning this argument.
		
00:17:42 --> 00:17:43
			You know you are not going anywhere.
		
00:17:44 --> 00:17:46
			And you know that now after this, I
		
00:17:46 --> 00:17:47
			will break a relationship.
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:49
			What do you do?
		
00:17:50 --> 00:17:51
			You simply say,
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:54
			even though you are right, you say brother,
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:56
			I acknowledge I am wrong, I apologize.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:17:58
			For the sake of
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:01
			Allah and you are being raised in His
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:02
			ranks. And
		
00:18:03 --> 00:18:05
			you are guaranteed a place in
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:13
			I am guaranteeing
		
00:18:14 --> 00:18:16
			a pay a person, a place in Jannah
		
00:18:16 --> 00:18:19
			when he leaves argument even though he has
		
00:18:19 --> 00:18:19
			the right.
		
00:18:19 --> 00:18:21
			He has the right to say, yes, I
		
00:18:21 --> 00:18:22
			am right,
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:24
			and you are wrong. But what does he
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:25
			say, brother, I'm wrong. Why?
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:27
			Because
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:29
			I know I'm returning to
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:32
			Allah I know it reached a point where
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:34
			this person is not hearing sense anymore.
		
00:18:34 --> 00:18:36
			It's not going to change anything. In fact,
		
00:18:36 --> 00:18:37
			it will be more detrimental
		
00:18:38 --> 00:18:39
			for me to pursue this argument.
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:41
			So I leave it for the sake of
		
00:18:41 --> 00:18:42
			Allah
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:44
			A few tips
		
00:18:45 --> 00:18:47
			before we go on to a few tips.
		
00:18:49 --> 00:18:50
			Why is it
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:53
			that we speak to everyone
		
00:18:53 --> 00:18:54
			about our problems,
		
00:18:55 --> 00:18:56
			and this we know
		
00:18:57 --> 00:18:58
			which gender is
		
00:18:58 --> 00:19:00
			more well known to do this?
		
00:19:01 --> 00:19:03
			Why is it that my bestie
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:05
			knows about my problems,
		
00:19:06 --> 00:19:08
			but my husband doesn't know about my problems
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:08
			with him?
		
00:19:09 --> 00:19:12
			Why is it that my best friend knows
		
00:19:12 --> 00:19:15
			the intimate details of the going ons of
		
00:19:16 --> 00:19:16
			my house,
		
00:19:17 --> 00:19:20
			but my husband does not know
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:23
			what is going on in our marriage. Why?
		
00:19:24 --> 00:19:27
			Why can't we address the issue with our
		
00:19:27 --> 00:19:29
			spouses? Sit down and say, Listen, whether it
		
00:19:29 --> 00:19:32
			is husband or wife, sit down and say,
		
00:19:32 --> 00:19:34
			I am with you to live
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:37
			until death do us apart as they say.
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:38
			So we need to live in this marriage
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:39
			in a good way.
		
00:19:40 --> 00:19:40
			So
		
00:19:41 --> 00:19:43
			let me address this. I have this problem,
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:45
			that problem, that problem with you, but we
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:46
			will go to
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:48
			everyone else. If I have a problem with
		
00:19:48 --> 00:19:50
			this brother in the community, and don't worry,
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:53
			I don't have a problem with you. Barakallahu
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:53
			fiqh.
		
00:19:54 --> 00:19:55
			If I have a problem with him,
		
00:19:56 --> 00:19:58
			then I will go to him and him
		
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59
			and him and him and him and him
		
00:19:59 --> 00:20:01
			and him and him and tell everyone, you
		
00:20:01 --> 00:20:03
			know what that brother did to me? This
		
00:20:03 --> 00:20:04
			is what he did.
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:06
			But I will not go to the brother
		
00:20:06 --> 00:20:08
			and say, brother, please forgive me. You know?
		
00:20:08 --> 00:20:10
			Oh, please. This is what you did to
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:11
			me.
		
00:20:11 --> 00:20:11
			Understand
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:14
			that what you did to me was wrong.
		
00:20:14 --> 00:20:16
			Let's resolve it. Let's, you know,
		
00:20:16 --> 00:20:17
			finish
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20
			it. And that is the way of Islam.
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:23
			That is the way of Allah
		
00:20:24 --> 00:20:26
			It doesn't end there. It's okay. I will
		
00:20:26 --> 00:20:27
			come back to you tomorrow. We will talk
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:28
			about it again.
		
00:20:29 --> 00:20:31
			Now you're beginning to think that you really
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:32
			have a problem with me. Hey?
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:36
			Barakallahu feek. Look. So we must address these
		
00:20:36 --> 00:20:39
			issues. Don't sweep them under the rug. It
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:40
			won't go anywhere.
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:42
			That rug, they will just the heap will
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:44
			just keep getting bigger underneath.
		
00:20:44 --> 00:20:46
			Until one day, you can't go past the
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:49
			rug except if you trip over it. Meaning,
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:52
			that problem will be so big
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:54
			that you won't be able to resolve it
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:56
			now. It will be too much.
		
00:20:56 --> 00:20:57
			And even
		
00:20:58 --> 00:21:01
			even when you reach the point of divorce
		
00:21:01 --> 00:21:03
			and you know there is no going back
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:05
			now, we need to end this marriage. Sometimes
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:08
			it is better to divorce than to remain
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:09
			in a toxic,
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:11
			bad, evil
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:12
			relationship.
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:15
			You get these relationships where they are evil.
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:18
			They are toxic. It's bad. You are at
		
00:21:18 --> 00:21:20
			each other's throats every day. You are swearing
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:23
			at each other every day. When that happens,
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:25
			well, you don't need to wait for that.
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:27
			But if it gets to the point where
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:28
			you have to divorce,
		
00:21:29 --> 00:21:31
			then divorce with goodness.
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:34
			Why is it that when I
		
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36
			Allah protect our marriages.
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:37
			Ameen. Ameen.
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:39
			When something
		
00:21:39 --> 00:21:41
			happens and I reach the point where I
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:42
			can't get along anymore,
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:46
			and we separate or divorce, what do I
		
00:21:46 --> 00:21:48
			what do I do? I go to everyone
		
00:21:48 --> 00:21:49
			and say, do you know how bad that
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51
			family is? I stop talking to them. I
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53
			leave them. And now the families are torn
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:55
			apart. You are serving the cause of the
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:57
			devil by doing so.
		
00:21:57 --> 00:21:59
			I heard of a couple
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:01
			who got divorced, and do you know how
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:03
			they did it? I was amazed.
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:05
			They went to their
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:07
			parents and said, look,
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			we've reached a point where we've discussed every
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:11
			possible option,
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:13
			and we wish
		
00:22:14 --> 00:22:15
			we could have gotten you involved,
		
00:22:16 --> 00:22:18
			and you could have helped the situation, but
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:20
			we know it won't help. So instead instead
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:22
			of the word getting out there and the
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:23
			reasons
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25
			for our divorce getting out there, we are
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:27
			just here to tell you that this is
		
00:22:27 --> 00:22:28
			what's happening,
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30
			and we want it to be a
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:32
			divorce
		
00:22:33 --> 00:22:35
			within reason where we understand each other and
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37
			we part ways, and we go our separative
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:40
			ways and Allah will provide for us. And
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:40
			to date,
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:42
			that
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45
			ex couple gets along in the sense that
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:47
			there's no issues, there's no problems. They still
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:49
			get along. What is that?
		
00:22:53 --> 00:22:54
			And
		
00:22:56 --> 00:22:58
			if they separate,
		
00:22:58 --> 00:23:00
			then Allah will give each one of them
		
00:23:00 --> 00:23:02
			from his riches, from his wealth. They get
		
00:23:02 --> 00:23:05
			along. They are fine. What happens? Allah is
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07
			even happy with the way that that divorce
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:08
			happened.
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:11
			Doesn't mean that Allah is happy with divorce.
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13
			He's happy with the way that that divorce
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:15
			happened. Why? Because the families are still talking
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:17
			to each other. I remember this uncle
		
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19
			who said to me,
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:23
			that he's actually from our country, from Zimbabwe.
		
00:23:23 --> 00:23:25
			And he came to London once
		
00:23:26 --> 00:23:27
			or the UK. I don't know where in
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:29
			the UK, but in the UK somewhere.
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:32
			And he met his ex father-in-law.
		
00:23:33 --> 00:23:34
			And his ex father-in-law
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:37
			hugged him and, you know, hey. How's it
		
00:23:37 --> 00:23:39
			going? How are you? Come in. Come to
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:41
			the house. No problem. What have you.
		
00:23:41 --> 00:23:43
			And people are watching, thinking, doesn't this man
		
00:23:43 --> 00:23:45
			divorce his daughter?
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48
			So they went to this man and said,
		
00:23:48 --> 00:23:50
			didn't he divorce your daughter? So he says,
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:53
			yes. He divorced my daughter. Did he divorce
		
00:23:53 --> 00:23:54
			me?
		
00:23:55 --> 00:23:58
			Did he divorce me? And wallahi, that question
		
00:23:58 --> 00:24:01
			is so profound because it's so true.
		
00:24:02 --> 00:24:04
			I have no problem with him. They didn't
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:06
			get along, it didn't work. Allah will provide
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:07
			for both parties.
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:09
			No problem. Alhamdulillah.
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:13
			So try and hold your tongue even in
		
00:24:13 --> 00:24:13
			divorce.
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:16
			Try and keep that divorce amicable.
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:17
			And Allah
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:20
			will bless
		
00:24:20 --> 00:24:22
			your parting as well.
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:26
			Allah will bless your parting as well. So
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:28
			the same applies
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:30
			to when we have a relationship with a
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:33
			community member. We've had an argument, we've had
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:36
			a dispute, we've had a problem, sometimes we
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:38
			are business partners, The partnership never worked out.
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:42
			Don't say our relationship never worked out. Say
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:44
			the partnership never worked out. It fell through.
		
00:24:44 --> 00:24:46
			It never worked, but I'm still friends.
		
00:24:46 --> 00:24:47
			I was in business
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:48
			with people,
		
00:24:49 --> 00:24:51
			with a man who
		
00:24:52 --> 00:24:54
			it never worked out with. Today, we still
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:56
			talk, we laugh, we smile. I'm not here
		
00:24:56 --> 00:24:57
			to blow my trumpet.
		
00:24:57 --> 00:25:00
			But I'm trying to give an example. There's
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:02
			no need for me to cut my relationship
		
00:25:02 --> 00:25:04
			with him. Say, do you know that man
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:07
			did me down, etcetera. Yes. Hack is hack.
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:10
			And the right that you are that you
		
00:25:10 --> 00:25:11
			deserve from that partnership when you split apart
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:11
			is important. You should get your right. You
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:12
			should get your money
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:14
			and your fair share, etcetera. And if you
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15
			have been wronged, yes, you have been wronged,
		
00:25:15 --> 00:25:17
			but you can still maintain a relationship. When
		
00:25:17 --> 00:25:17
			we look,
		
00:25:20 --> 00:25:21
			can still maintain
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:24
			a relationship. When we look
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:28
			at these community issues in this way, dear
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:31
			brothers and sisters in Islam, we will build
		
00:25:31 --> 00:25:31
			a strong
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:35
			lasting community that will be able to thrive
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:35
			together.
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38
			Even if I disagree and don't like a
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:41
			certain brother, I still greet him. Why? Because
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:43
			he deserves my salaam. When I pass him,
		
00:25:43 --> 00:25:46
			Assalamu alaikumu rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. No problem.
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:49
			What is the harm in doing that? Because
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:50
			ultimately,
		
00:25:50 --> 00:25:52
			you and that brother,
		
00:25:52 --> 00:25:54
			you both hope that one day you will
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:57
			meet in Jannah. Even though you disagree and
		
00:25:57 --> 00:25:58
			you don't like him.
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:08
			And we will remove
		
00:26:09 --> 00:26:11
			that of hatred that they have in their
		
00:26:11 --> 00:26:14
			hearts beneath, and they will be in Jannah,
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:17
			beneath which the rivers will be flowing. You
		
00:26:17 --> 00:26:19
			will be with who? People whom you disliked.
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:23
			People whom you hated. People whom you didn't
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25
			want to see. Allah removes the hatred from
		
00:26:25 --> 00:26:27
			your heart and you will be with them.
		
00:26:27 --> 00:26:28
			So why?
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:30
			Why then when you come into the Masjid,
		
00:26:30 --> 00:26:33
			you can't even say, Assalamu alaikum. This
		
00:26:35 --> 00:26:38
			difference of, you know, I am Salafi and
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:40
			he is Sunni and he is this one
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:42
			is that and that one is Barelwy and
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:45
			that one is, whatever he is.
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:50
			That difference was sold in amongst our communities
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:52
			by those who are our enemies.
		
00:26:53 --> 00:26:55
			Those who don't like us. And we have
		
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57
			taken up the cause and picked it up
		
00:26:57 --> 00:26:59
			and said, right. We will champion this course.
		
00:26:59 --> 00:27:02
			Let's go ahead. Let's go forth.
		
00:27:02 --> 00:27:04
			No. We are Muslimim.
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:06
			And that's all that matters.
		
00:27:09 --> 00:27:11
			I believe in this. This is my banner
		
00:27:11 --> 00:27:13
			of faith. This is my brother who utters
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:16
			the same shahada. I'm going to
		
00:27:16 --> 00:27:19
			greet him. I'm going to love him. I'm
		
00:27:19 --> 00:27:20
			going to respect him
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:23
			despite my differences with him. I'm not saying
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:25
			you don't have an
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:27
			the right to refute the ideology.
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:30
			You want to refute a certain ideology, get
		
00:27:30 --> 00:27:32
			up on the mimbar and speak about it,
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:32
			no problems.
		
00:27:34 --> 00:27:36
			Speak up and say what you think is
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:38
			the hap. At least you have a huja
		
00:27:38 --> 00:27:40
			and evidence with Allah spoke the haqq.
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:43
			But don't go out there and say, there
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:44
			is an imam of such and such a
		
00:27:44 --> 00:27:47
			masjid. He did this. That is now fueling
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:49
			discord and hatred
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:50
			amongst the Muslimi.
		
00:28:00 --> 00:28:02
			And who is better than the one who
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:04
			calls to Allah and He does good deeds?
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:06
			And then what does Allah say?
		
00:28:11 --> 00:28:13
			And he says, I am from amongst the
		
00:28:13 --> 00:28:15
			Muslims. I will ask you a question. If
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:17
			someone were to walk into this masjid right
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:18
			now, right here with a gun,
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:21
			and was to point that gun
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:23
			at any one of us and start firing.
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:27
			Are you telling me that if you believe
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:30
			and you know that this brother is a
		
00:28:30 --> 00:28:31
			Salafi or a Dewbandi,
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:33
			and you are not,
		
00:28:33 --> 00:28:35
			then you will say, yes, kill him. No.
		
00:28:36 --> 00:28:39
			You won't. Why? Because you know he is
		
00:28:39 --> 00:28:41
			a human being who is a Muslim.
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:44
			I will defend my brother despite my differences.
		
00:28:44 --> 00:28:46
			Let's put our differences aside.
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:50
			That is now serving the cause of Allah
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:52
			When the day comes
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:54
			where we need to stand up, we need
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:57
			to rise up to defend the ummah of
		
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00
			Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, we are ready. We
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:02
			are united despite our differences.
		
00:29:02 --> 00:29:04
			So treat your communities
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:06
			like you are
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:08
			a marriage.
		
00:29:08 --> 00:29:10
			We will live together despite our differences.
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:22
			If
		
00:29:23 --> 00:29:25
			a believing man does not like a certain
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:26
			characteristic
		
00:29:27 --> 00:29:29
			of a believing woman, there are others that
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:30
			he loves.
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:33
			There are others that he loves. So he
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:36
			doesn't hate her. He doesn't cause problems towards
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:39
			with her simply because she has certain weaknesses.
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:42
			And the same applies, you don't cause problems
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:45
			with your husband simply because he has certain
		
00:29:45 --> 00:29:46
			weaknesses.
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:49
			You overlook them and this brings me to
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51
			the next point. In fact, before we get
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:52
			to the next point,
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:54
			I would like to leave you with a
		
00:29:54 --> 00:29:56
			few pointers on communication.
		
00:29:56 --> 00:29:57
			Listen actively.
		
00:29:58 --> 00:29:59
			When you are communicating
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00
			with someone,
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:03
			1st and foremost, renew your intention in your
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:05
			heart. Tell yourself this is for Allah.
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08
			Then sit with the brother and listen to
		
00:30:08 --> 00:30:10
			what he has to say. Sit with the
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12
			sister and listen to what she has to
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:13
			say. Listen actively.
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:16
			Intending to actually hear,
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:19
			intending to understand
		
00:30:19 --> 00:30:21
			where they come from and what they are
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:22
			saying.
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:24
			That is the first part of communication
		
00:30:25 --> 00:30:28
			before you even open your mouth. Listen to
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:28
			the person,
		
00:30:29 --> 00:30:31
			lend them an ear. What happens today? You
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:33
			are sitting, you are the father,
		
00:30:34 --> 00:30:36
			and you have your daughter or your son
		
00:30:36 --> 00:30:36
			speaking.
		
00:30:37 --> 00:30:39
			And as soon as it is in disagreement
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:41
			with you, you view it as disrespect and
		
00:30:41 --> 00:30:44
			you become angry. Hey, you keep quiet, you
		
00:30:44 --> 00:30:46
			don't talk to me. No, calm down.
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:47
			Relax.
		
00:30:47 --> 00:30:50
			He's not disrespecting you. He has said,
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:53
			mom, dad, spoken with respect,
		
00:30:54 --> 00:30:56
			and he's addressing an issue that he needs
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:58
			to address. Let him speak.
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:01
			Listen to him. Let him be heard.
		
00:31:02 --> 00:31:05
			And then, you can now speak and have
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:05
			your say.
		
00:31:06 --> 00:31:08
			Secondly, stay calm and composed.
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:10
			Connect yourself
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13
			to your own body. Listen to your breathing.
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:17
			Listen to your breath going in and out.
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:20
			And b, stay within your body.
		
00:31:20 --> 00:31:21
			Stay within
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:23
			your feelings.
		
00:31:23 --> 00:31:26
			Don't be connected to your feelings. Why do
		
00:31:26 --> 00:31:28
			I say this? When a man is angry
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30
			and he's shouting at the top of his
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:33
			voice, he's not connected to his feelings anymore.
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:35
			And that is when you find
		
00:31:35 --> 00:31:38
			that is when you find words that are
		
00:31:38 --> 00:31:39
			said that are so cutting
		
00:31:39 --> 00:31:41
			that this person will never view you the
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:43
			same again. You will never have the same
		
00:31:43 --> 00:31:44
			relationship again.
		
00:31:45 --> 00:31:47
			You've now uttered words that you will regret
		
00:31:47 --> 00:31:49
			for life for life.
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:51
			Some fathers disowning their children,
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:55
			Some brothers and sisters who shared one womb,
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:57
			you shared one womb.
		
00:31:58 --> 00:32:01
			You were born from the same passageway. You
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:03
			share 1 mother, 1 father, and today you
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:05
			don't speak to each other. Why? Because he
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:07
			said this about my daughter's wedding.
		
00:32:09 --> 00:32:09
			Allahu Akbar.
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:13
			Could you not just sit down and resolve
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:15
			that issue? Talk, calm down, talk with a
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:18
			calm voice. When you are angry, say,
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:22
			walk away and come back and sit at
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:24
			the table again when you need to. But
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:27
			thrash it out, dear brothers and sisters in
		
00:32:27 --> 00:32:27
			Islam.
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:29
			And thirdly,
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:30
			take time
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:32
			to respond.
		
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34
			You know, there is a difference between a
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:34
			reaction
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:37
			and a response. So if you tell me
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:40
			something, I can immediately say something back to
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:41
			you, or I can sit
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:45
			and I can take 3 seconds deep breathing.
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:52
			Okay. Even one breath. You see?
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:56
			Take one breath in and then respond calmly.
		
00:32:56 --> 00:32:57
			What's happened?
		
00:32:57 --> 00:33:00
			There's a difference between a reaction and a
		
00:33:00 --> 00:33:01
			response.
		
00:33:01 --> 00:33:03
			Even on WhatsApp, what happens? We get a
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:06
			message. We want to respond immediately. No.
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:07
			Take time.
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:09
			Think about it. Think clearly.
		
00:33:10 --> 00:33:10
			Consult.
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:13
			Speak to someone, and then respond. Hey. This
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:16
			person messaged me about this issue. I want
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:18
			to talk to them, communicate it to them.
		
00:33:18 --> 00:33:21
			And ever more so, there is no reason
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:23
			for us not to communicate
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:24
			today
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:26
			because there is no excuse.
		
00:33:26 --> 00:33:27
			You have your phone,
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:30
			you have email, you have all sorts of
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:31
			methods of communication,
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:35
			employ those methods, use them for goodness. Instead
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:37
			of using them for goodness, what we find
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:39
			ourselves doing is we are going through reels
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:41
			and videos all day, that's all we can
		
00:33:41 --> 00:33:44
			do on the phone. No. Use it for
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:44
			goodness.
		
00:33:45 --> 00:33:47
			Send a message to that person
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:49
			if you can't talk to them,
		
00:33:49 --> 00:33:52
			and they will listen. Why? Because they are
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:56
			reading the message. Use these methods to actually
		
00:33:56 --> 00:33:59
			communicate with each other. So half of the
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:01
			the problem will be resolved when you actually
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:03
			communicate and you speak.
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:05
			Thirdly, suspicion.
		
00:34:05 --> 00:34:07
			Sorry. How long have I been going on
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:09
			for anyone keeping track of the time?
		
00:34:10 --> 00:34:11
			Too long.
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:15
			Uncle doesn't like me. Forgive me if I
		
00:34:15 --> 00:34:17
			said anything against you. We might as well
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:18
			just do it now.
		
00:34:20 --> 00:34:21
			Okay. Just as well.
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:24
			35 minutes. Okay. So I will wrap up
		
00:34:24 --> 00:34:26
			soon, Insha'Allah. I'll try to,
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:27
			go through my
		
00:34:29 --> 00:34:31
			yeah. I will try and wrap up soon,
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:31
			Insha'Allah.
		
00:34:32 --> 00:34:32
			So
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:35
			I think I've addressed most of the issues
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:36
			anyways, but the
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:39
			but the other thing I want to say
		
00:34:39 --> 00:34:40
			is suspicion.
		
00:34:41 --> 00:34:43
			What is the role of suspicion in a
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:43
			community?
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:47
			Suspicion can destroy a community completely.
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:49
			When you are
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:52
			a suspicious person and you speak to someone
		
00:34:52 --> 00:34:55
			else about your suspicion, you are actually engaging
		
00:34:55 --> 00:34:56
			in a sin.
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:58
			Because you have no evidence of what you
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			are saying.
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:00
			I know an aunt,
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:03
			not my aunt, but I know an auntie
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:04
			who
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:06
			goes around telling people
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:08
			in her family
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:10
			that so and so, I suspect them of
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:13
			doing magic. And this is common. So and
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:16
			so, I suspect them of doing magic.
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:18
			But you have no evidence.
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:21
			You don't know whether that person has done
		
00:35:21 --> 00:35:22
			it or not.
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:24
			You have no clear evidence.
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:26
			Don't say it because
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:28
			it is actually a sin.
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:31
			What does the hadith teach us?
		
00:35:33 --> 00:35:34
			Beware of suspicion.
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:39
			For indeed suspicion is the
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:41
			most baseless of speech.
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:43
			It's the
		
00:35:44 --> 00:35:48
			speech in which there is more likely a
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:49
			lie than there is a truth.
		
00:35:51 --> 00:35:53
			So don't say it. The minute you say
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:54
			it, you've actually
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:58
			engaged in a sin. Change that thought
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00
			and make dua for the person,
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:03
			and make dua of protection for you and
		
00:36:03 --> 00:36:05
			your family if you want to. No problem.
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:08
			But don't go around speaking of things that
		
00:36:08 --> 00:36:09
			you have no knowledge about,
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:11
			because
		
00:36:11 --> 00:36:13
			you can actually cause
		
00:36:13 --> 00:36:14
			serious problems,
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:16
			serious problems.
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:19
			When that person finds out, and they will.
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:20
			If you are speaking
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:28
			What do you think their feeling will be?
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:31
			Do you think that's helping the community be
		
00:36:31 --> 00:36:32
			united?
		
00:36:32 --> 00:36:34
			Do you think that is helping the community
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36
			come together? Do you think that is helping
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:38
			the family come together?
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:42
			And besides, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:44
			us even if he there is magic.
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:46
			Even if there is magic, have you forgotten
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:49
			that Allah can protect you from that magic
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:52
			without you delving deeper into it? I read
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:54
			my adkar everyday. I know Allah has got
		
00:36:54 --> 00:36:58
			me. I know Allah will protect me. That's
		
00:36:58 --> 00:36:59
			the attitude of a believer.
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:02
			That's the attitude of a Muslim.
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:04
			So don't go around talking about that person.
		
00:37:04 --> 00:37:05
			This is what they did. That's what they
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:09
			did. If you really must in this in
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:11
			this instance and you suspect the person, go
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:12
			to them and speak to them. Say, you
		
00:37:12 --> 00:37:13
			know, I have these feelings.
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:15
			You have the guts to do so, go
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:17
			and do it now. Why? Because if you
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:19
			don't do it today, you will have to
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:19
			face
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:21
			up to that person
		
00:37:23 --> 00:37:25
			before Allah Are you prepared?
		
00:37:25 --> 00:37:26
			Are you ready
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:28
			to say that, yes,
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:30
			I spoke about
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:31
			you.
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:41
			On that day,
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:44
			the secrets will be revealed.
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:47
			So there will be no strength and power
		
00:37:48 --> 00:37:48
			against Allah.
		
00:37:50 --> 00:37:52
			And there will be no how to against
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:54
			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. You will have to
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:56
			answer, you will have to face
		
00:38:03 --> 00:38:06
			and don't speak. Why? Simply because I know
		
00:38:06 --> 00:38:09
			I will have to answer before Allah. And
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:14
			if you change your thought process, and you
		
00:38:14 --> 00:38:16
			think goodness of this person,
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:18
			then you will be rewarded for that good
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:21
			thought. You see how merciful Allah
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:25
			and you will find in no time your
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:27
			relationship will actually become better with that person.
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:28
			Why? Because
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:33
			You have been sincere with that person. For
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:34
			the sake of Allah
		
00:38:36 --> 00:38:38
			So dear brothers and sisters in Islam, my
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:39
			message is simple.
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:41
			My message is
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:43
			one of sincerity.
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47
			Where we should be sincere to each other.
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49
			We should sit and advise each other. We
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:51
			should learn how to fight
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:54
			before we learn how to get along.
		
00:38:54 --> 00:38:56
			We should learn how to argue
		
00:38:57 --> 00:38:59
			before we learn how to actually get along
		
00:38:59 --> 00:39:01
			and then we will find
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:03
			unity in our communities.
		
00:39:04 --> 00:39:05
			May Allah
		
00:39:06 --> 00:39:08
			accept from us. May Allah
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:11
			give us the love that we need for
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:13
			each other for his sake and may Allah
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:16
			subhanahu wa ta'ala unite the Ummah against the
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:19
			forces that are against us today. Amin,