Hussain Yee – Importance of Breast-Feeding in Islam #46 Our Precious Sprouts
AI: Summary ©
The importance of Islam is discussed, including the belief that fear is a consequence of the gods and the need for everyone to evaluate their well-being and provide payment according to their needs. The importance of healthy eating and setting good examples for children is emphasized, along with the need for reinforcing healthy eating practices and training children to drink healthy foods. The importance of setting good examples and not wasting time is emphasized, along with the need for reinforcing healthy eating practices and setting good examples for future generations. The importance of honoring a holy person as a respect is emphasized, even as the Prophet is allowed to allow for the respect of women, but for men, they are the one who make the rules. The Prophet gives guidance and guidance for men to follow.
AI: Summary ©
Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Bismillah ar
-Rahman ar-Rahim Alhamdulillah wa
Rahmatullahi
wa Barakatuhu Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim I
advise you and I, first of all, to
fear Allah, for the righteous have already triumphed.
As Allah Almighty said in the Noble Qur
'an, I seek refuge with Allah from the
accursed Satan.
O you who have believed, fear Allah.
His right has been decreed.
And you will not die except as Muslims.
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
All praises due to Allah, Rabbul Alamin.
For a new day that Allah Subhanahu wa
Ta'ala allowed us to survive again.
May the mercy, the guidance of Allah be
upon all of us till we meet Allah
Almighty.
A day that nobody can escape.
قُلُّ نَفْسٍ زَائِكَةُ الْمَوْتِ Allah reminds all of
us, every living creature of Allah has to
end.
The one that will live forever is only
Allah Himself.
الحي قيوم And may Allah, Rabbul Alamin, give
us a deep understanding.
Because deep understanding towards the religion of Allah
is a ni'mah.
The Prophet and also Allah remind us, من
يريد الله به خيراً يفقه في الدين Whoever
Allah intend to give him a lot of
goodness, then He make him understand the deen.
We have been learning about our deen.
We have been reading about our deen.
But how many Muslims today on earth is
trying their best to follow the divine guidance.
You can talk about Islam.
You can discuss.
You can teach people about Islam.
But even sometimes the teacher fail to act
upon what they have learned.
They can just teach the student, but they
themselves do not set good example.
A lot of us have been failing because
of that.
Let us look into what Allah have guided
us from the beginning of our life.
We have been talking about breastfeeding for the
newborn baby.
Every one of us have gone through.
We have our time.
Our children have their time.
Our grandchildren will have their times.
Now I'm going to share with all of
us what Allah say.
If you look into page 156, Allah remind
us.
Until the end of the ayah.
In Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 233.
Allah first is talking to the mothers.
Mother may breastfeed their children to complete year.
For whoever want to complete the nursing period.
Now Allah is talking to the mother, to
the woman.
Then Allah continue.
Upon the father.
The father also have responsibility.
Everybody have a role to play.
While the mother is busy handling the baby.
The father also must get busy to make
sure that he provide the best food, the
best environment, clothing according to what is reasonable.
Whatever they are able to give.
Remember Allah.
Allah will never burden us.
Don't ever feel as a woman who believe
in Allah and a man, father and mother.
You cannot complain.
You are not supposed to complain.
Why this?
Why that?
Because whatever Allah Qadar upon us is very
reasonable, practical, logical.
That nobody can say that Why Allah put
me to this test now?
Now let us continue then later on I
will share with you what is happening in
our daily life today.
No person is charged with more than his
capacity.
No mother should be harmed through her child.
Nor should a father be.
That is what Islam always start with.
Don't do anything that cause harm to yourself.
It is our first responsibility to make sure
you save yourself.
Physically, mentally and spiritually everybody must look into
their well-being first.
This is very practical.
People may say you are too selfish.
No, there is nothing to do about selfishness.
It is about my basic rights.
It is like children will look into themselves
too to make sure that what they want,
they have it.
That is very normal.
No woman should be harmed through her child.
Nor should a father be.
And upon the hair of the father is
a similar obligation if the father die.
Now we know we are not going to
live forever.
How rich you are, how healthy you are,
how powerful you are we have to return
back to Allah.
And if they, the both parent desire winning
through mutual consent and consultation there is no
blame upon either of them.
So it is very important the spirit of
Islam always want husband and wife to discuss.
Sit down, discuss, have this good discussion and
see how to move on.
And give the best to the children and
in the same time take care of our
well-being.
If you wish to have your children breastfed
by a substitute another breastfeeding mother there is
no blame upon you.
This is also very important upon you as
long as you give payment according to what
is reasonable.
Meaning if you need extra services, somebody to
breastfeed your children your child, very important to
sit down and discuss because some woman don't
like that.
Maybe some father they don't like that.
They just want it to be among us.
No extended family.
But remember, if you need that kind of
services don't forget to compensate them.
Every services given to you, you should value
it.
Give them some token.
It's up to our agreement.
Even sometimes the person who want to breastfeed
our baby don't need, they are well-off.
If they don't need payment in the sense
of dollar and cent, money give them some
gift as a token.
Because in Islam the Prophet encouraged us to
give hadiyah.
Even among husband and wife sometimes it is
encouraged to give some presents sometimes.
Why?
To enhance the good feeling that we have.
Same good to the children as they grow.
We like to give them some surprise.
You know what they like?
Suddenly children, some of them will be very
demanding.
Some of them do not demand.
They just don't know how to demand.
And it is not good for them to
demand.
It's good for us as parents to understand
their need, their fitrah and you just get
it for them.
Now there's a lot of difference when people
ask you for something then only you give.
Then you give them without their asking.
There's a lot of difference.
That means it comes from you.
You are a very sentimental person.
You know.
If you know they like certain thing, you
just get it for them.
And by what?
Taq Allah.
Have taqwa to Allah.
Always remember Allah is all seeing of what
we are doing.
Now what I'm going to start to share
with all the good brothers and sisters here
about our relationship.
Why breastfeeding is so important?
That is the closest.
Yeah.
The child can get to the mother number
one.
And the father also is there to assist,
to assist, to comfort the mother.
Anytime when the mother need to take a
break, that's where the father come in.
Allah said, Believing male and female, husband and
wife, they always compliment one another.
They never say, this is your response.
Of course, it's the mother's responsibility.
But why did Allah said that the father
have response to make sure that the clothing,
the food for the mother, because children, baby
don't eat like how we eat.
They just need mother's meal.
But the mother have to eat.
So this is a time that we do
not want husband to be calculative, stingy.
No.
Invest in the well-being of the mother.
Because if the mother is happy, healthy, and
she's happy, healthy, energetic, you can see all
the good hormone start to develop.
All the good energy is developing.
And she will give the best to the
baby.
And the baby is not just having good
meal.
But the good feeling is not that somebody
breastfeed and they're upset, they're angry.
They're thinking of this, thinking of no.
They are happy to look at the baby
who is enjoying the breastfeeding.
Now, the feeling of sadness can change a
lot of the hormone of a woman.
So we must try to make them just
happy.
If you look at Halimah to Shadia, the
way she breastfeed Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon
him, she was very happy because so many
miracles happened when she took Muhammad to breastfeed
him.
A lot of extra blessing was given to
Halimah to Shadia.
Everything will come back to the intention again.
When somebody do something, the intention is purely
for Allah.
Then the blessing is very different.
It's like you do anything purely for Allah.
Allah reward you with so many thing that
you cannot imagine.
Then you do something, you hope for some
reward, Allah give you that only.
That's why Ihsan overcome a lot of problem
that we are encountering.
Anything you do purely for the sake of
Allah.
You don't feel burden and you love to
carry on doing all the good deeds because
it make you happy, it make other people
happy.
We only should be happy when we see
other people happy.
When we can make somebody happy, we should
be happier.
But today, everybody just think of themselves.
My feeling, my way, no, no.
The way of Allah is the best way.
So as a husband, you must always remember
this is your future generation.
We work very hard for what?
For the comfort of our life.
How long we are going to live here?
You want the best car, everything the best,
no problem.
But don't sacrifice the family value.
Don't sacrifice the wife, your mother, your father,
your children, no.
You remember at the end of the day,
we are going to die.
Everybody is dying.
Can you imagine whatever we work for, day
and night, no?
We spend so much time thinking of dunya.
At the end of the day when we
are gone, who is making use of the
dunya?
Who is going to make use of the
dunya that we have worked so hard?
Mansion, big car, beautiful garden.
Who is going to enjoy?
Sometimes strange things happen.
A stranger will come into that place.
They will take over.
They don't even know who we are.
They don't care.
But if our children is going to benefit
because we give them the love, but that
is not enough.
Make sure the children become righteous so they
will remember us even when we are no
more with them.
They know this is my papa who worked
very hard for me.
My mama who sacrificed a lot.
And I have my auntie, my uncle who
always love me, remind me a lot of
things, to do a lot of good things.
And they are doing it, that is your
investment.
But today the world has changed because of
the busyness with the technology.
Our children don't even remember us sometimes.
Can you imagine?
They just think of themselves because this is
how we show them we just think of
ourselves.
We don't work together as a family member.
So it's very important for us to bring
back these world values so that we will
never regret.
How do you feel, brothers and sisters?
You work so hard for your children, your
children also don't value it.
How do you feel?
You sacrifice your life for them, they don't
value.
Why they don't value?
Because we never impose the right value in
them.
We thought that by giving them money, everything,
they are happy, we are happy.
No.
You must give them the Islamic value, the
love they need so that they love Allah
and they love the Prophet.
How many of us test our children?
Do you love Allah?
How do you prove that you love Allah?
When the prayer is on, call is on,
we are ready.
We just love to respond to the call
of Allah.
I'm ready for the prayer.
Why?
Because if I take care of my prayer,
at the end of the day, I will
be the victor.
I will gain victory.
I will be successful.
But today, you can call Azan, people have
no feeling at all.
We love our children, we should always remind
them, Azan time, please, Azan.
Because they will be receiving the shafa'ah
from Prophet Muhammad.
Prophet Muhammad was looking for the Muazzin in
the Day of Judgement.
Who are the callers of prayer?
Who are the callers of prayer among my
ummah?
How happy we are when the Prophet is
looking for our children who like to call
Azan.
Boys, especially, train how to call Azan.
It's an extra blessing.
You become like a VIP in the Day
of Judgement, the Prophet will look for you.
How blessed you are.
Billions of people is gathering in the Day
of Judgement.
The Prophet can recognize the Muazzin from a
distance.
Don't you like to be a VVIP?
Not here, over there.
VVIP also here can have problem.
VVIP from many angle.
Everybody look at you from a different angle.
But VVIP there is waiting for the Prophet
to summon you to come forward and drink
the water from Al-Qawsar, from Jannah.
Allahu Akbar.
So when the time of prayer, train the
children to be ready to call Azan.
Very important.
Now parents love to see their children are
good in singing.
You know what is going to happen when
they grow big.
Do you think you get closer to Allah
through this?
No.
You are creating more sin.
You are encouraging people to create sin through
your program.
Especially in neighbor country, people are changing.
They are wearing Niqab, they are wearing Hijab.
But they are dancing and singing in front
of thousands and thousands of people.
Everything is going in the wrong direction.
You want to make people happy.
When Allah said, وَالَّذِينَهُمْ عَنِ الْلَّخْوِ مُقْرِدُونَ Imam
Shafi, the great Imam.
He said, do you understand what is وَالَّذِينَهُمْ
عَنِ الْلَّخْوِ مُقْرِدُونَ What is Laghwi?
Laghwi is all this entertainment.
That make the people forget Allah.
Disconnect from Allah.
Can you imagine what is happening to the
people today?
Do you think all these people who entertain
themselves remember their parents?
How good when the people is gathering in
a concert.
Suddenly Maghrib come in, Isha come in.
Suddenly the person give a call of Azan.
Allahu Akbar, stop for a while.
Now everybody who is there, prayer time.
How do you feel?
Allahu Akbar.
You are reminding them about Allah.
No.
No Azan, music is on, singing, dancing is
on.
Now all our body also is responding, is
moving according to the music.
How many people move with the Azan?
Something is very important.
If we have been reinforcing this value to
our children from young, automatically these children will
know what to do.
And because of our effort, this is our
asset.
They become righteous children.
And they will be very happy.
One day they recall, my papa who have
guided me, my mama who have been reminding
me, that's why now I am here.
I can do this, I can do that.
Now they will be happy to make sure
their children also become better than them.
You can have dunya, brothers and sisters, but
remember dunya will not be with us.
The only thing Allah will ask us.
يَوْمَ إِذِنَّ تُسْأَلُنَّ يَوْمَ إِذِنَّ عَنِنَّ The more
Allah give you, the more Allah is going
to ask you.
How do you get this money?
Oh, through my hard work.
After having this money, what do you do
with the money?
How do you spend it?
How do you waste your money?
Is money your God?
No.
The one who provide you is Allah.
Example.
We feel very sad today.
Everyone just focus on dunya, dunya, dunya.
They thought dunya is everything.
They sacrifice their children.
No engagement.
Sometimes to hug each other, so you don't
feel like hugging anymore.
No time.
What is going to happen?
You don't hug them, who will hug them?
Stranger hug them.
You don't have time with them, their friend
have time with them.
Very sad.
Sometimes you see children, beautiful daughter, keeping changing
friend.
Among girls, okay.
Among guy, male friend.
Are we proud to see this thing happening?
No, Zubillah.
What is happening to them?
Anybody can just touch them, hold them, hug
them.
You don't allow that to happen.
This is just an example.
Brothers and sisters, nothing is more valuable than
our children.
You can give the best, give the best.
But guide them properly.
Don't spoil them.
And one day, something bad to them, they
will also blame us.
Without we realize, we thought we will give
them everything.
No.
We never give them the love that they
need.
The guidance that they need to make them
strong children.
That they can stand up with all the
challenges that they are going to face.
And make them proud of who they are.
Because I am a Muslim.
Halal, haram, I have learned, I know.
Sometimes a lot of things that is halal,
but not good.
Halalan, but not tayyibah.
A lot of these drinks, the canned drinks
sometimes, or the gas drink, the booster, this
booster, that booster, energy drink, is killing a
lot of people.
We should train our children to drink all
the healthy drink.
Even if you have to spend extra, never
mind.
Get them used to something that is healthy
for them.
So that they enjoy their life.
Because they are healthy.
If not, when they are not healthy, they
become sick.
They become weak.
They won't enjoy.
Everybody is running, they can't.
Because they are not healthy.
This is just an example, brothers and sisters.
Even you want to give the third party
to breastfeed your children, number one is very
important for you to know who is that
lady.
Are they from a very good background?
It's also very important.
Yeah?
So we believe all our husbands are good
husbands who care for their wives, make sure
the wives have the best, the best environment,
and the mother also is a very righteous
mother.
Sometimes we cannot do everything by ourselves.
Invalidity.
When we need reinforcement, somebody is offering some
help, our parent is helping us, parent is
always there if they are healthy.
You have good uncle, good aunties, your cousin,
anybody who is going to help you, just
be open.
I always remind anybody who came here to
do tahniq, if you want to give your
baby to somebody, to their grandfather, their grandmother,
their auntie, to feed them.
Make sure they feed them with their right
hand.
Remind everybody in the family, if you want
to feed my child, please feed them with
your right hand.
Give them good food.
Why?
Because barakah.
A lot of people are not bothered about
this.
They carry their baby with their right hand,
they keep on feeding them with their left
hand.
That is not good.
From day one, from very young, you have
been not only feeding your child, you are
also feeding the Satan, giving the Satan good
food, enough food, enough drink.
That's why the Satan is very strong in
our children.
That's why the children can follow what the
Satan likes them to do very fast.
That's why sometimes the children will talk to
us and say, to be good is difficult,
to be bad is so easy.
Can you imagine they are talking to you
like that?
Do we say this to our parents?
We don't say that, but children.
Sometimes I see some young, young children, when
they are so active, I try to talk
to them.
Tell them how important to be good.
They can tell me, you see, to be
good is very difficult.
Can you imagine they are saying it's difficult?
But to be good is so easy.
Because when you be good, you are good
for yourself.
You'll be safe and also people will love
you.
People will care for you more.
It's so easy, but today is different.
When they are weak, they don't remember Allah,
somebody remind them, and we are not happy.
That is very wrong.
That's why in our area here, we always
remind everybody, especially in the month of Ramadan,
for those who are not praying, the sisters
who are around, please help to look at
the younger children, who the parents brought them
to perform Qiyamul Ramadan with us.
Why?
Because children is children.
They will not pray with you.
They will start with you.
A long walk, but after that, they are
gaib, they are gone.
Never mind, that is their fitrah, but they
are in a good environment.
They want to play, they want to run,
they can do it outside.
We have space for them, but then the
sisters, it's like a sister in Islam, the
auntie, please look after these children.
Discipline them.
Take care of them so that while they
are doing whatever they like to do, they
do not injure themselves.
That is very important.
We, environment is important to make sure good
people around there to remind our children.
Then when the children become good children, they
will get the reward because they play their
role too.
They don't lose anything.
But some people are very selfish, it's not
my children, it's not my duty, but this
is our ummah.
We are like a family, innamal mu'innuna
ikhwah.
Allah said, all believer is a family, you
should remind each other.
You should be happy when somebody is there
to look, to discipline your children when you
are not able or you are praying.
Alhamdulillah.
There is a spirit that we remind all
our people here.
Not only for you, but for the children.
Not only your direct children, even any children
who is here.
I show you one simple example about children.
You don't blame them at all because they
don't know the danger of so many things.
Sometimes when they sit outside, the wooden chair
that we have, children love to move.
They keep on banging, bringing up their buttocks,
up, down.
They just love that kind of movement.
I was very worried because this is not
something very solid.
If it breaks through, it can cut their
buttocks.
Because if it breaks, it's wood.
Can you imagine what is going to happen
to them?
They are going to cry and suffer.
Immediately when I saw they like to keep
on bringing their body and then their buttocks
bump on the wall, I said, don't do
this.
Because they don't know.
They don't know that it's very dangerous.
Many things that happen around us.
What went wrong?
Because we don't pay attention.
We don't have time.
We're thinking of money is everything.
Work is everything.
We forgot to value the human being.
They need more than that.
So we hope all parents will look into
that and all children, you should be very
thankful and grateful when your parents care about
you.
When your parents remind you about prayers, remind
you about time for you to rest, time
for you to read the Quran.
A lot of parents today never check whether
their children is reciting the Quran or not.
They never look at that.
They want dunya?
Okay.
Discipline and give them time.
This time to this time, Quran time.
Open the Quran.
Read the history of the prophets.
The history of the companion.
You have to guide them.
They don't know.
If they don't like to read, then you
read.
Okay children, sit down.
Let us listen to some of these beautiful
stories.
Sometimes parents read story books, but not Islamic
story books.
So children also love to read the wrong
book.
Romeo, Juliet, Spiderman, Superman.
They thought that this is real, this is
not real.
This is movie, drama.
Read something that is real.
For the girls, for the daughter, read the
book of the woman in Islam.
The book of the wife of the prophet.
The wife of the companion.
So that they feel for it, wow, the
woman can be so powerful, so important, to
gain respect from other.
For the men, read the companions, history of
the prophet.
It's very important.
We don't have this kind of program at
home today.
Everybody is busy with their own thing.
We are busy with our own life.
Children are busy with their I.T. Kala
is gone.
No connection.
Don't let this thing continue, brother and sister,
as a family.
Because the family relationship is very fragile.
You don't bother, you don't care, you think
money is everything, you think I have prepared
food for them, enough.
You are cheating and lying to yourself.
This is your future asset.
We may live until 40 years to come,
if Allah's will.
For me, I think I cannot live until
40.
Because if 100, that means consider very, very
old already.
You know our prophet passed away 63 years
old.
Abu Bakr passed away 63 years old.
Around the 60s, most of them passed away.
Those who have bypassed 63, special bonus.
So you should make use of this life,
for the best.
Don't waste your time.
For those who are not dead, you have
more time now to become a better father,
a better mother, to make sure our children
become the best children, that we are proud
of them when we are no more here.
They remember us.
They remember our sacrifice.
The hard life we have gone through.
And they are going to be stronger than
us because we have keep on guiding them
to be stronger than us.
So don't forget to set good example.
The best way to guide, coach our children,
talk to them, engage with them, and remind
them with the reminder of Allah.
And if somebody is there to help to
remind, you are.
You should be very thankful.
And reinforce that.
Do you hear your uncle is reminding you?
Do you hear what your mama, your grandma
is telling you?
Your granddad is telling you?
So what do you do?
Respond.
Anything good, respond.
They will never lose anything by doing all
the good things that the elders want them
to do.
Later on, now they have this value.
They also keep on reminding their friend in
the future because we train them to remind
one another.
Today, do our children do that?
Do our children, when they go and mix
with their friend and their friend don't pray,
do they remind their friend?
I don't think they are doing it because
we don't bother.
They don't bother.
I share with you my humble experience.
My niece, my nephew who come and stay
with me for one, two days sometimes when
they visit me.
When prayer time, all of our family, one
of them will call azan, my son will
call azan, or me will call azan.
Then what we are praying, we invite them.
They are non-Muslim.
You like to pray?
Can you imagine they join us?
We don't want to disconnect with them.
They are children.
They are young.
They want to experience something.
If we don't invite them, they thought, oh,
I am not a Muslim.
You are Muslim.
This is your way.
No, it's our duty to just invite them
to do something good.
They don't know what to recite, of course,
but they learn the movement now.
And later on, they create the interest.
They want to know more.
And that's how the dawah come in.
So many things that we can do.
Our children have friends, okay.
If a child is a Muslim, time for
prayer.
Okay, ready.
Call azan.
Get your friend ready, taking wudu.
And we parents can monitor.
Look at them.
Do they perform their wudu correctly?
No.
Remind them.
Why you do that, brother and sister?
If you do that, once they take their
wudu correctly, you get reward.
Because it is your effort.
You taught them how to make wudu properly.
And now they are doing it properly.
You get all the reward.
And then you tell them, next time you
do this, this is the correct way, the
way of the Prophet.
Link them with the Prophet, Prophet Muhammad.
Prophet Muhammad.
Now we don't even talk to them about
Prophet Muhammad.
What did Prophet Muhammad say?
What did the Prophet Muhammad does?
We don't even connect them with the Prophet.
May Allah make it easy for all of
us.
Before, it's too late.
Two years, they are very close to your
heart.
You should understand them better.
Their fitra, they don't understand because they are
still baby.
They don't understand.
Even now, they are grown up.
Sometimes, what I'm sharing with you today, I
don't think they all understand fully.
They may try, but they need reminder.
They keep on, you must remind them, remind
them, remind them.
And then it becomes habitual to them.
Oh, okay, I have to do this, I
have to do that.
Alhamdulillah, discipline them.
Talk to them.
Touch them.
Hug them.
Remind them of Allah.
So anything that people do good for us,
be grateful.
If they need some payment, pay them.
If they don't need, they'd like to breastfeed
our children for the sake of Allah, you
can buy good food for them.
Give them good food, organic food, as a
compensation.
Sometimes people like to do good, and they
don't want anything because they feel good when
they can breastfeed other people's children.
They feel good, alhamdulillah, but you should value
sacrifice.
Buy some good food for them, so they
know that we care.
Because anything you do good for the breastfeeding
mother, you will never regret.
And Allah continue to tell us this is
more about the adult.
The adult have the different kind of responsibility.
Remember during the iddah, Allah is talking to
those who have wives.
The iddah only apply to the woman.
Men have no iddah.
That's what is unique about men.
Today your wife pass away, tomorrow you can
nikah again.
But that show that you are very mean,
you're waiting for the wife to go only.
You should not do that.
But according to the law, there's no iddah
for a man.
After burying you at night, hijab kabul.
Then a lot of people who, I think
most of the family will not come.
It's too much.
This man is very mean, they don't have
feeling at all.
The wife just pass away, then now he
got married, a new one now.
So fast he forget the wife.
During their iddah, this is about the woman.
Lost them, your divorce, wife, or where you
dealt out of your mean.
You cannot just ignore them, chuck them out,
get out.
Now we are divorced, bye-bye.
Don't ever stay in this house, don't come
back.
You cannot do that at all.
The in-laws, your parents also have no
right.
When my son divorce you, please understand.
You get your bag ready, all your clothing
get ready, go home.
No.
But the wife that has been divorced have
the right to stay in the same home.
At the iddah period.
But if the wife feel that I want
to go home, she have the right to.
But Islam don't encourage woman who are divorced
and they want to get out.
No.
Unless you also have been waiting for this.
I'm just waiting, man, my husband want to
divorce me.
Now he say I divorce him.
Alhamdulillah, I'm a free woman.
That is a different kind of situation.
But normally we don't want to end our
divorce, but the husband very mean.
But you know the husband don't like to
look at you anymore.
So you don't feel good.
You can say, can I go back to
my mom's house, my parents' house?
You can say to them.
But you don't say I'm going home.
No.
Can I seek his permission?
Because you want some peace.
The reason that Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and
Allah want you to stay in, maybe within
the iddah period, thing may change.
Because you are still there, you cannot have
intimacy as husband and wife.
But your response to the children is the
same.
And your responsibility to the household is the
same.
If you know that he like home food,
you cook for them.
Take care of them.
Show your respect to your husband.
Maybe something is happening outside.
There's a lot of pressure outside that make
him so impatient.
Now he come home and he throw everything
to the wife.
And then she said, I divorce you.
Maybe something is happening.
But now after you serve the husband, you
are still there to take care of him,
his need, wash his clothes, iron for him,
take care of everything.
Maybe his feelings start to change again.
And then that's why in the iddah period,
three months especially for the woman who are
not pregnant, three months, then reconciliation can happen
very easily.
When you allow yourself to have intimacy to
your man who have divorced you, consider you
have reconciled.
You can be together, but no intimacy.
But when you allow, that mean the divorce
have ended.
You are back together as husband and wife.
But when you are out from the house,
the faster you go out, the faster the
replacement is.
Why must you allow that to happen?
Hold on.
Three months is for the both parties to
reflect.
You are still there serving your husband, respecting
him, do all the good things, children's responsibility,
you carry on like normal.
Maybe children can play a very important role
in that.
Papa, talk to the papa.
If the problem starts from the mama, mama,
we all love you.
We love you.
We love papa.
We love all of you, us together.
You don't know, sometimes the children, because of
children, sometimes the heart gets softened.
Okay, reconcile.
And sometimes after reconciliation, your relation becomes better
because you learn a lesson.
Not to burden anybody.
And do not harm them in order to
oppress them.
Don't do this to your ex-wife because
they are the mother to your children.
Anything you do negative to the mother of
the children, you don't expect the children to
respect you like how they normally respect you
when you are good to the mother.
Children, of course, cannot take sides.
They must be very fair.
If the mother makes some mistake, they are
aware, help the mother.
Sometimes in a family, a father likes everything
to be clean.
Mother has a different value.
As long as I'm cleaning, okay.
But sometimes they are not very particular.
They are not careful.
And husband are not happy.
Sometimes the husband are not so particular, but
the wife are very particular.
I remember my mother, when she come to
visit us and stay with us, you don't
see her.
Even Sahur, she was not a Muslim yet.
Before we break, we wake up for Sahur,
she's awake and do a lot of cleaning.
And when she go to the kitchen, she
will do with a toothbrush.
She go very clean.
Every corner, she will clean.
She love cleaning, my mother.
So when she stay with us in Ramadan,
we will never miss Sahur.
Because she's not a Muslim at that time.
But she's always very early and then she
will start to do all the cleaning.
Before bedtime, you never see her relax.
She go to the kitchen.
So most of our siblings pick up this
value from our mother.
We do that every night.
Make sure that all the kitchen is clean,
dry.
After washing the basin now, you wipe, make
it dry.
All the cup, all the plate is clean
and put in the cupboard.
So tomorrow you can use it without problem.
If you put it outside, then at night
you have the alien moving around.
A lot of uninvited guests will come in.
And they start to move around, walk around.
And they may shit around, you can't see
them.
So it's not clean.
So we do everything and we also make
sure the floor is clean, vacuum.
That's how we got to train our children
to have that kind of value.
Good, clean environment.
Then tomorrow, whatever you want to do, it's
very clean, it's ready for you.
Oh, this is not my job.
This is my papa's job.
Papa have to work and get all the
money that he can.
And then buy food and buy thing for
you.
Do something.
Oh, there is mama.
Mama, of course, she's been cooking for you.
Don't burden her more than that.
Help her.
You get a lot of rewards.
The same goes to the husband.
You see the wife is busy, offer a
helping hand.
That's how you move on.
Don't oppress them.
And if they should be pregnant, then spend
on them until they give birth.
Once they are pregnant, divorce will not take
place until they deliver.
So nobody can say, I divorce you and
confirm she was pregnant.
The divorce will never take place.
Until after she delivers, then if you want
a divorce, you can save it again.
And there is a difference if after delivery,
confirm, and then you divorce.
Sometimes there is no iddah.
Sometimes they have iddah.
If there is a space that they may
have some kind of relationship again.
Because the iddah is to make sure that
nothing is in the tummy of the woman,
that she is not pregnant.
That's why the iddah is there.
When you are clean, if after she delivers,
and then you remember she has said, he
has said that I divorce you, you confirm
again, then there is no more iddah.
You are totally clean now.
And if they breastfeed for you, give them
their payment.
This is where another thing a lot of
people are not aware.
Can you imagine?
Even you divorce the wife, the wife, the
mother is breastfeeding the baby.
Now she can have some allowance.
Do you know if we choose to breastfeed
our children, you can ask for special allowance
from the husband to take good care of
your well-being, eat the good food.
If the husband has no time to buy
all these good things, you can go and
buy by yourself.
But I need some allowances.
If not, you have to buy all this
powdered milk from New Zealand and also from
Australia.
Now your baby has so many breastfeeding from
Australia and New Zealand.
Of course, there is a different kind of
law about breastfeeding.
It's not breastfeeding.
They're taking milk from, no more from human.
They're taking milk from Mr. Cow, Madam Cow.
Just example.
So by right, normally the mother will never
ask anything.
It's her sacrifice.
But Islam is saying that if they choose
to breastfeed, then give them their payment.
Give them some allowance.
And negotiate among yourself in the acceptable way.
Always you still have good communication, good relationship.
Because remember, adult have their adult problem, but
adult problem don't pass it down to the
children.
Children is not involved.
They are both party children.
Respect their right.
Don't corrupt them.
Never do this to any of your children.
Don't talk anything negative about their father.
Even their father is not that good.
Don't say.
Just say your father is working hard for
all of you.
Problem of adult is between us.
We solve it in our way, Islamically way,
without belittling anybody.
You know what happened, they say, in Indonesia?
One of the preacher was belittling, humiliating a
tea seller.
He was giving a lecture and then a
tea seller was around there, selling the tea.
He belittled that guy with Allah's will.
He has to ask forgiveness.
He regret later on.
We hope he regret.
You don't have any right to belittle anybody.
Allah create everything for a reason.
If everybody is a doctor who is going
to be a patient, don't underestimate the cleaner.
The cleaner help to clean.
Without them, you have to clean.
Everybody have their role.
If everybody is always on the top, who
is going to do the thing?
The bottom work, the ground work.
So because of that, people feel pity to
this tea seller.
People helping him.
That's why Allah said, قُلِ اللَّهُمَّ مَعْنِكَ الْمُلْكِ
تُقْتِلْ مُلْكَ مَنْ تَشَأْ وَتَنْزِعُ مُلْكًا مِّنْ مَنْ
تَشَأْ وَتُعِزُّ مَنْ تَشَأْ وَتُزِّلُ مَنْ تَشَأْ بِيَدِكَ
خَيْرٌ إِنَّكَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ Remember, everything
belong to Allah.
He will give authority to whom He like.
He will take back the authority from whom
He like.
He will honor whom He want.
He will dishonor who He like.
You dishonor other people, Allah will bring you
down.
Even you are a preacher, no more.
Nobody like to listen to you because you
belittle another person.
In Islam it said, قُلُّ مُسْلِمٌ عَلَىٰ مُسْلِمٍ
حَرَامٌ دَهْمُهُ وَمَعْلُوهُ وَإِرْدُقُ Every Muslim to another
Muslim are sacred.
Their dignity, their money, their blood is sacred.
You cannot belittle anybody.
So please, if you have any dispute, disagreement,
anything in life, don't pass it down to
the children.
The children need the best.
Mother give the best, father give the best.
Father will talk the best about the mother,
just the best.
Because there are time that you get the
best, just focus on the best.
Don't say, you know your mother like this,
like that.
Don't ever do that.
Because it will backfire sooner or later.
As they grow, now they have to value
by themselves.
We don't want to corrupt the children.
We want the children to love your parents,
respect your parents.
Even the parents have been separated, you must
respect both sides.
Give them their payment.
Negotiate among yourself in the acceptable way.
But if you are in dispute, then another
woman bless it for him.
So if you have anything, then find the
best way to solve it.
Let a man of wealth spend from his
wealth.
And he whose provision is restricted, let him
spend from what Allah have given him.
Allah does not require from a soul except
according to what he has given it.
Allah will bring about after hardship ease.
Difficulty is always there.
Misunderstanding is always there.
Disagreement is there.
But never give up hope.
Move on.
How to move on?
Sit down.
Talk.
We as parents, husband and wife today, do
we sit down and talk to each other
before we got married?
Do we talk to each other?
Oh no, I don't know her, she don't
know me.
Suddenly we are husband and wife.
Do you think that is how we become
husband and wife?
We do talk a lot.
And we can talk and talk and talk
before getting married.
After married, no more work.
This is the best time for you to
sit down and talk.
Nothing to talk about.
Both of you talk about the children.
How can we help our children?
How can we make our children righteous children?
That's how we are going to talk.
How can we help our children to be
humble?
To do good deeds?
By we showing good example, we go and
participate in helping the poor and bring the
children, let them participate.
That's why I have them do a lot
of this activity.
We have the SPK group, who is going
to look for the poor and the needy
and they bring the children, they bring their
grandchildren along.
Why?
So that the children are connected with all
these good activities.
Very important, brother and sister.
May Allah make everything easy for all of
us and make us a good example for
the future generation.
And please take good care of the children
that Allah has entrusted upon us.
You will never regret.
Whatever you leave behind, they will make use
of it in the best way to please
Allah and you will get all the blessings.
Remember, if you don't take care, you just
think of money, money, property, property, all these
is not going to follow you when we
die.
You are going to leave behind and the
worst thing is a stranger may come in
and they will take all this away.
Don't let this happen.
Wealth is not just dollar and cent.
It's your dignity has more value.
May Allah guide us, may Allah bless us,
brothers and sisters.
If there's any question, today we are open
for Q&A.
We have earlier ending because I have to
travel after this.
Yes, go ahead.
But this seems quite exclusionary, doesn't it?
Whoever Allah wishes good for, could you explain
that?
Yes, because like what the Prophet always said,
Allah gives guidance to who wants to seek
His guidance.
And His guidance has been there already.
Allah revealed the Quran as a guidance.
You want to follow, you are welcome.
But if you choose not to follow, stubborn,
I don't want.
I have my way, okay?
That's why you cannot blame Allah anymore because
He has laid out everything through His book
and His messengers have conveyed everything.
All the authentic Hadith is there.
Now it's up to you.
That's why He said, وَهَدَيْنَهُ النَّجِدَيْنَ I show
you two ways.
This is my way and the other way
that is not Allah's way.
And He said, follow my way.
You refuse to follow.
So Allah is telling us, whoever He wishes,
He makes them understand.
Who are the ones who wish?
It's those who are looking for His guidance.
If you don't want, khalas.
No, I give you another simple example.
There are some scientists, great scholar but not
a Muslim.
They read the Quran, about the miracle, they
talk about the miracle of the Quran but
they are not a believer because that is
what they want.
They just want knowledge.
They don't want the guidance.
They don't want the hidayah.
They just want ilm.
Allah gives them the ilm.
Meaning also, nobody can blame but of course,
Allah knows best.
We don't know.
Why Allah don't give him the deep understanding
of the deen because Allah knows.
Some people may misuse the knowledge and misguide
other people.
Then Allah will not let that happen.
That's why Allah and the Prophet remind us,
back to me.
Come back to me.
Come back to my book.
Come back to the Prophet's teaching.
Nobody can turn you astray.
And that is what people fear most today.
If you say follow Quran and Sunnah, follow
Quran and Sunnah, they don't like this.
They like you to say, follow a imam,
follow the scholars.
They like that.
Why?
Because then the scholar can just mislead you
according to what they want you to be.
That's why you have all this nonsense coming
in.
People are teaching that you can go to
the grave of a so-called holy person
and make sujood there.
Even now, they allow you, when you see
your guru, when you see your teacher, you
can even make sujood as a respect.
Astaghfirullah.
You have good intention, show respect.
But did Allah and the Prophet allow you
to do that?
Even the one that the Prophet said, if
Allah allow, I will command all the women
to make sujood to the husband.
But that is not allowed too.
Sujood only for Allah.
You respect everybody.
Yes.
Respect the elders.
Yes.
There's a limit.
So the understanding, your faqihu fiddin, ma yuridu
Allah bihi qayran, is Allah's of course.
He knows who deserve it.
But sometimes when we don't understand all these
verses of the Quran, the saying of the
Prophet, we may misinterpret.
Oh, then you don't blame them.
It's not me who don't want.
Allah decide not to.
That is where we create a mistake.
Allah is so loving, He can punish you
anytime you disobey, but He did not do
that.
He keep on showing you the way, reminding
you by sending somebody to remind you, sending
all the other sciences to remind you, but
you pretend.
You are arrogant actually.
People of arrogance have that problem.
No, no.
I know better.
Moses was having that problem before when the
Jew asked him, who knows?
He said, I know better.
That's why Allah said, go and seek knowledge
from Qidir.
But then Moses realized, he should have said,
Wallahu anam.
He said, I know.
It's like what Iblis said to Allah.
He said, I'm better than Adam.
Don't say that.
You may be better, but you don't have
to say ya.
Because you may have a better knowledge about
this, but Allah grant Adam with a different
knowledge.
Knowledge belong to Allah.
Because when Allah command the angel, including the
jinn, to make sujud, respect to Adam, they
refuse.
First they refuse.
Then what did Allah said?
Then I grant Adam the names of my
creation.
Adam have all the knowledge about the creation
of Allah.
Then Allah turn back to the angels and
to the jinn.
What is this?
What is that?
They answer, we don't know.
Except what you have taught us.
Then Allah said, go and ask Adam.
And Adam explain, should you respect your teacher?
Who is the first teacher to all of
us?
As a human, who are the first teacher?
Of course Allah is the one who give
the knowledge, but as human, who is the
first teacher to us?
We never learn from Adam.
Our mama.
Our mother is the one who start to
talk to us.
Then mama always say, mama here, mama here,
when the children know how to speak up,
he call Aba.
Because the A is always there.
Abi is there.
That make the mother, I am the one
who carry, give you everything, talk to you,
teaching you.
Now you only remember Aba.
Then you say, mama, Aba, mama, Aba.
Alhamdulillah.
Just an example.
A lot of people always, when they don't
want to follow, they don't blame themselves.
Allah decide.
How do you know Allah decide that?
How do you know Allah decide that?
You do your part.
Any last question from the sisters?
Alhamdulillah, no question from the sisters.
Online, please.
Fadhal.
Okay.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Waalaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
I wish to ask that, it is permissible
in Islam for a Muslim man to marry
his Christian girlfriend with whom they have had
*.
The girl is willing to join Islam.
Yeah.
Alhamdulillah.
As long as anybody want to be a
Muslim, then you are ready, you can get
married.
No problem at all.
That should be the best way to solve
their problem.
They should not have any kind of relation
before marriage.
But if done, then the best thing to
solve their problem, get them married.
Take full responsibility.
Make her a Muslim.
And then, get married.
Islamically, that should be the way because you
have done something to her, and then you
are taking full responsibility.
Alhamdulillah.
Yeah.
In marriage, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. always
encourages Ummah to be hasten, to make it
easy, to make it difficult.
If you make marriage difficult, then you are
encouraging zina.
And Islam forbids zina and always encourages marriage.
do that.
That would be the best way to move
on.
But it is also good not to share
this kind of relationship, the issue, to just
anybody.
Then people will keep on talking and it
is a fitna.
One day, settle down.
Alhamdulillah.
The past is considered and now just look
for the future.
That should be the spirit.
But human is human.
If you share, then people know, you know,
you know that it is not good at
all.
So anything that you have done secretly, keep
it as a secret and move on.
Yeah.
And if somebody share it with us and
we know this is a secret, don't ever
share with other people.
If you like to cover the secret, the
mistake of somebody for the sake of Allah,
Allah will cover your mistake.
Yeah.
That's how we move on, brother and sister.
May Allah bless us, may Allah guide us,
may Allah make our children righteous children and
please don't forget what I am sharing with
you.
Yeah.
I only can remind all of you.
The rest is up to you to move
forward and be open, work together as a
team, as a family to bring up our
children to become righteous children.
Whoever is there to assist us, always be
grateful, be thankful.
Yeah.
We are there also to help each other.
Sometimes we overlook, sometimes we are careless.
Somebody is there to remind, Alhamdulillah.
That means people care about us.
People who don't care, they don't care anymore.
That's not my problem, your problem.
But when people is there to keep on
reminding each other, show that we care for
each other.
As a Muslim, we must care for each
other.
Then Allah will love us more.
Inshallah.
وَبِلَا تَوْفِقِي وَرَقِي دَعْوَانَا إِنَّ الْحَمْدُ بِالْعَالَمِينَ
سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ بِحَمْدِكَ إِن شَهَدُ أَن لا إِلَهَ
إِلَى أَنتَ أَسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيكَ السلام عليكم ورحمة
الله وبركاته