Hussain Yee – Breastfeeding – Regulations – 47 – Our Precious Sprouts
AI: Summary ©
The importance of guidance and the need to be aware of negative consequences of actions in Islam is emphasized. Personal and family development is crucial for personal and family development, while protecting mother from harms and aggravation is crucial. The speakers stress the need for acceptance and honor of property rights, including acceptance and honor of property's rights, and discuss issues related to siblings and the law of Islam, including the need for acceptance and honor of the property's rights.
AI: Summary ©
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious,
the Most Merciful.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious,
the Most Merciful.
All praise is due to Allah.
We praise Him, we ask His help, and
we ask His forgiveness.
And we seek refuge in Allah from the
evil of our souls and from the evil
of our actions.
Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him.
And whomsoever He leads astray, none can guide
him.
I bear witness that there is none worthy
of worship except Allah.
He is alone and has no partner.
And I bear witness that Muhammad is His
servant and Messenger.
I advise you and me, O children of
God, to fear Allah.
Verily, the righteous have won.
May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah
be upon you.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of
the worlds.
For His mercy, for His ongoing guidance, and
for His protection.
May Allah protect all of us from all
the viruses, all the fitan, the challenges that
may come within ourselves and the things that
may come from outside.
Brothers and sisters, we keep on reminding ourselves
with the reminder of our Prophet, peace be
upon him, which I always start by reciting,
Qutbatul Haja.
If you look carefully to this Qutbatul Haja,
we ask Allah to help us to overcome
the weaknesses, all the negative things that may
come within ourselves from inside.
A lot of times, a lot of people,
how successful they are in this dunya, they
are suffering inside.
They are not happy.
A lot of actors, actresses, celebrities, especially in
the east, they die very young.
Why?
Of course, it's Allah's will.
Number two, they are not happy inside.
When you are not happy inside, If you
look at the Hadith of the Prophet, the
bad thing that is developing inside us, that
if you don't take care of it, you
don't control, then your action will always be
negative.
What you say, what you do, always will
be negative.
But if you are good inside, like what
the Prophet, peace be upon him, The
Prophet was sent by Allah, he is not
a doctor, he is not a psychologist, he
is not this, he is not that, but
Allah gives him all the wisdom that he
needs to be his messenger.
He is talking to his people and to
all of us.
Indeed, in the body of every one of
us, in our body, there is a flesh.
If this piece of flesh is good, everything
becomes positive, becomes good.
But if this piece of flesh is rotten,
corrupted, everything will be negative and be corrupted.
Then the Prophet said, that is what he
meant by the heart.
What is inside you is very, very important.
That's why Islam always starts to emphasize the
importance of the inner part of a person.
Your heart, your feeling, your faith, things that
you can't see but is moving, it is
working every day, so always be careful of
the heart.
When the heart is positive, then the way
you think becomes positive, the way you look
at things becomes positive, the way you listen
to things, you always want to listen to
the positive side.
Negative, you filter, you filter.
Because you know, we have no time to
entertain all these negative matters, but we must
stay positive and move on.
Brothers and sisters, we always start to remind
each other with some muqaddimah, because muqaddimah is
important for us to be ready to face
the reality.
Yesterday, in the evening, we were trying to
talk to the parents who are going to
send their children to our camp this year.
And inshallah, next Sunday, class is off because
we won't be around.
We'll be moving for the youth camp on
Saturday evening.
Saturday class will still be on, but the
Sunday class is off for one Sunday.
But the next Sunday class will start again.
We were talking to the parents, what is
the most important investment that the parents want
to invest in?
For people who think of money, wealth, they
talk about dunya.
For people who want their children to also
focus on dunya, so they'll support them for
their profession, to be a doctor, engineer, you
can just name it, without making sure that
at the same time, the children have a
strong iman, become righteous professionals.
They just want them to be somebody in
this world, known to the world, people recognise
them in this world for their good job,
but there is no future for them in
akhira.
They can't even help their parents because they
are not righteous children.
We are not that righteous, but if our
children are righteous, they can be a saviour
to us.
Allah will bless them and allow them to
intercede for us.
That is why the Prophet want all the
parents to focus on the upbringing of the
children to make them righteous children, ready to
face all the challenges and to move forward,
be connected to Allah, Rabbul Alamin, and follow
the sunnah of the Prophet.
Today, inshallah, we will continue with what we
have left last week, about the iddah.
If you look into Islam, the beautiful part
of this religion, everything Allah has shown us
how to move forward.
Do you want to start a family life?
Allah showed us that family starts with sakina,
mawadda, and rahma.
Meaning, anybody who wants to settle down, they
must look into this three areas.
Sakina, when you look at somebody, do you
find peace?
If you don't find peace, you have doubt,
just stay away.
Don't waste your time.
When you look at each other, you can
feel the energy is there.
Now, when you have peace, do you feel
positive towards that person?
Do you feel the power of love?
Love is blind, they say.
But there is a connection.
So when you have that, then you can
start to plan.
But at the end of the day, nobody
knows who is the best partner.
It's trial and error.
We don't know.
We just have faith in Allah.
We want to be closer to Allah.
We want to be good.
We hope Allah will give us a good
partner, a partner that honours, respects us, and
who is connected to Allah, who is sincere
in the relationship.
That is what we want.
So then we develop rahma.
Rahma, meaning being a human, nobody is perfect.
Everybody has their weaknesses.
Everybody has their, what you call, everybody to
commit some sin here and there.
So rahma is where we'll make the family,
the relationship, move on.
Because we are not going to complain, you
are this, you are that, you are this.
If you want to talk about anybody, especially
husband and wife, you just recall the positive
thing.
Don't recall the negative one.
If possible, you just bury the negative.
Lesson learned.
But don't keep on recalling.
Because it's not going to help anybody.
It's like we, the upbringing of our children.
Children, sometimes they are so active when they
are young.
They don't listen to you.
They are disobedient.
But now they are changing.
You don't recall.
Don't recall.
You know once upon a time you are
like that.
No.
Because sometimes it can trigger them to become
negative again.
We don't want that to happen.
We just focus on the positive matter.
Then you'll find peace.
Then the love will still be there.
And the mercy of Allah will always be
upon us as a family.
That's how we move on.
Then we talk about what is going to
happen if you breastfeed somebody's children.
Then automatically they become part of your family.
But the ruling in Islam, they do not
have the right to inherit property.
They have no right.
So if anybody who breastfeeds some children, not
their biological children, but they are your mahram,
to the breastfeeding mother is mahram for life.
Now what is important even their children is
mahram.
They become breastfeeding siblings.
But the only thing if you feel that
after that you want to take care of
the child.
Like people who always dream to have children
but they don't have children.
So what they do?
So they want to adopt a child.
If you have the intention to adopt any
children so that you don't feel alone in
the family as husband and wife, it must
be agreed by both parties.
You cannot say, I want, I want, but
the husband is not ready.
The husband says, I want, I want, and
the wife is not ready.
Because then you will fail to give the
love, the fatherly and the motherly love to
the child.
Both parties must agree and you are ready
for that.
Then you look for a child.
But if you want to do that, please
be very, very careful to save yourself from
a lot of unnecessary problems in the future.
What do you do?
You must adopt a child before two years.
Before two years of the age.
Say the child now is born and then
somebody, the parent, someone pass away.
They don't want to keep the child.
Some people have different, different beliefs.
There's a lot of adoption before.
The Chinese have their own belief if the
child is born this year, they have all
the dragon year, horse year, all these different
year.
They say it's not good for them to
keep this baby, so they give it away.
And the Muslim, Alhamdulillah, we are a loving
parent.
We like to have big family.
For the not yet Muslim, they have micro
family.
But for Muslim, we love to have children,
so they adopt.
But what went wrong when they adopt the
child?
If you adopt after two years, then the
child cannot be a mahram forever.
The child will grow.
So after that, there will be an aurakh
problem because he is not your mahram.
She is not the mahram to the adopted
father.
And their sibling are not mahram at all.
They are totally a stranger.
You can adopt them, help them, but this
is not your mahram.
So how difficult it is for him, for
her, and to us.
As they are growing, we are the one
who watch them, dress them.
As they grow to a certain age, no
more because they are not your mahram.
But if you would adopt them before two
years, you also must know the rule.
The rule is that you should breastfeed the
baby five times.
But if you are not a mother before,
you may not have milk.
So what should you do?
You've got to plan, check with the doctor,
the gynae.
Is there any way in this modern world
with the IT today that you can enhance
my body that I can produce milk to
breastfeed this baby just five times?
Not five days.
It's one day, three times you breastfeed, two
days.
At least five times, then you can breastfeed
the baby with other milk.
But the breastfeeding, minimum five times.
Then the child becomes your baby from your
breastfeeding.
Then they become your mahram.
That is how the Muslim is being guided.
Very, very important.
Now the regulations that we are going to
continue from the above ayah in Surah Talaq.
Number one, about breastfeeding.
Unless she has a legitimate excuse, a mother
is required to breastfeed her baby for two
full years.
Unless you have some problem, health problem that
you can't continue.
Then you can have another option.
But please, brothers and sisters, when you breastfeed
with other than the mother's milk, or sometimes
the mother may even prepare it in a
bottle.
Please, whoever is feeding the baby, don't forget
to use your right hand.
Because the Prophet said, don't eat and drink
with your left hand.
If you eat and drink with your left
hand, you are feeding the Satan.
You are not only feeding the baby, you
are feeding the Satan.
And every one of us is born with
one jinn inside us, known as our qarin.
So we do not want the qarin to
be strong.
We want our baby to be strong.
So please remember this is very important.
If you can't keep on breastfeeding, that means
the breastfeeding will be in the bottle.
Please make sure those who are feeding the
baby use their right hand.
And don't let baby move around or crawl
outside the house when Maghrib comes in.
When Maghrib is coming in, bring baby child
inside the house.
Why?
Because when the azan of Maghrib starts, the
Prophet is reminding his ummah about the jinn
and the Satan.
They are going to run as far as
they can, as fast as they can when
the azan is on.
Can you imagine if in Muslim country like
Malaysia, hear azan, there azan, the shaytan run,
he hear the azan in another corner, he
keep on running and further and further he
will go.
And also the changing of the shift.
The jinn have two shifts.
The Satan, they say shaytan is going back
home to rest.
So the night one will come in to
replace them.
So that's why the Prophet do not want
us to leave our baby outside.
Accidentally, they may hit one another.
They can see us, we can see them.
That is our problem.
So it's very important to believe in the
unseen.
One of the power of the believer is
We believe in the unseen.
What the Prophet is telling us is true
and we believe in it.
We don't care whether people want to follow
or not.
That's up to them.
When we know that there is a saying
of the Prophet confirm about this, we are
going to follow.
Two years, in case of the father death,
number two one, his, the inheritance are responsible
for the father's obligation.
All these are very important rule that everybody
must understand.
But if you want to give, leave behind
some property to your adopted child, you can,
by giving them the heebak.
They cannot fight for inheritance because they don't
have right.
Even you love them, they are only adopted
child you have.
But you can't say that because he's my
son.
That's why in Islam, even you breastfeed a
baby, you cannot name the baby with the
name of the husband.
That means the adopted father.
Say that, I am Abdullah, example.
Gather, adopt a baby.
We don't know who is the father's name.
So can we put a name?
Fatima binti Abdullah.
The registration here, accept.
Why?
Because Abdullah, servant of Allah.
Abdurrahman, Abdurrahim, they accept.
But I must be very clear.
I am not the biological father.
So happen I have a name Abdullah.
Normally when you want to name the child
with the adopted father, if the father said
his name is Hassan, you cannot name Fatima
binti Hassan.
The registration here will only accept if you
name Fatima binti Abdullah Abdurrahman or the name
of Allah.
You can, but not any other names.
You must remember all this is very important.
The way they do that for a good
reason.
What is the good reason?
So that there will be no problem in
the future.
Because if our family members know that we
don't have children, we have adopted daughter or
son, and we love them, and this son
or daughter are very good.
Daughter and son, even how good they are,
if something happens to us, he or she
has no right for the inheritance if you
do not give it to them before you
depart.
If you are alert, you quickly put something
aside and say, if anything happens to me,
this property I transfer to so and so.
But I will be in control, in charge
of this property until I die.
Meaning that person cannot sell it, cannot just
take it away with condition that if I
die, then you look, the property is under
his name or her name, class.
Nobody, you will start to argue because it's
given before we pass away.
But if not, we have an issue before.
A very good sister, our student, that was
in the early 70s, in the late 70s.
The sister is a very pious lady, and
she is a very rich lady.
She got a husband, a very good husband,
but not rich, just a normal worker.
They have no children, they adopt two children,
two daughters, until the daughter got married, stayed
with them.
Now suddenly, the adopted mother got stroke.
Now she is not so mobile anymore, but
the husband is there to take care of
her, the adopted children are taking care of
her.
Now she has problem in going to the
bank to cash out money for transaction, everything.
So suddenly she said to the husband, let's
go to the bank, I would like to
transfer all my account under your name because
you are the husband, you are taking care
of me.
Make it easy that you can go anytime,
I can't.
Everything was done, alhamdulillah, and he is a
good husband.
He never do anything wrong for the wife.
Suddenly he passed away.
The husband passed away.
Now husband have his own sibling, who don't
care about him, never visit him because he
is nobody.
Suddenly he passed away, of course, when somebody
pass away, people will inform the family members.
So they came and suddenly they knew that
there is a lot of money under his
name.
But it's not his money.
The money belong to the wife.
It's not his money.
But for the living, they don't care.
It's under his name.
Now they are fighting for that property.
Can you imagine?
The money don't belong to him, belong to
the wife.
The wife do it to make it easy
for the husband to help her.
And the husband is a good man.
The thing was dragged for years and she
need money for all the medication and everything.
But they keep on saying no because the
family is fighting for that property and for
that money.
I was still there.
I informed them how to proceed.
Talk to the Mufti because anything to do
the Muslim money, property, they have to go
back to the Sharia to get the final
decision.
The Mufti from that state said this is
too complicated.
We will pass to the Mufti of federal
government here.
So we wait and the federal government this
is state matter, go back to the state.
Everything is passing the ball and now this
woman need the money.
So we talk again and talk again.
Finally said she at least need the basic
thing that she have to buy, thing that
she have to pay for her medication.
But you can look at her record.
From before is under her name, is her
property.
You all know.
So you must feel, have the mercy to
understand the situation and it's not that the
husband is betraying her.
Now the sibling of the husband suddenly just
appear.
Getting closer and closer because of the money.
So it's very important for us to understand
all these things, to prepare for something if
you are breastfeeding an adopted child.
If your own children, you don't have problem.
Their right is being protected.
Now during the breastfeeding terms, the baby's father
is required to support the mother even she
was divorced from him, even.
Why?
Because you cannot divorce a pregnant woman.
When your wife is pregnant, no divorce can
take place, can be reinforced.
But if something happen and you have said
that but the divorce will never take place.
But now you don't have good feeling anymore
because he have the intention to divorce you.
So you just wait until you give birth.
Immediately after that you can go back, sit
down and discuss.
Do you really mean what you said when
I was pregnant that you want to divorce
me?
If you say yes, and if you feel
that you are ready for that too, if
not, you will try to negotiate.
Can I know why?
If you want to bring the family in,
bring the family, whether it's your mistake that
you may want to make changes that make
him so angry when you are pregnant, because
when you are pregnant, sometimes your hormones start
to change.
You may want more care, more attention, but
he is not responding at all.
So you feel hurt and you keep on
nagging, nagging.
You say, I can't take it anymore, I'm
going to leave you.
But this is just word, leaving you.
He never said divorce.
They say you can't stay separately, because it
hurts.
You are here, pregnant, you need attention, and
he doesn't care.
He doesn't like it, because he was not
ready to be a father.
But suddenly you want to be a mother.
So the problem starts.
That's why baby, family planning is important.
You must sit down and discuss.
If both believe in Allah, believe in the
Prophet, the Prophet love his Ummah to have
more children, to make him proud, and talking
about provision, Allah say, I am the one
who provide, not you, not the father, not
the mother.
Allah is the one who provide all your
risk.
نحن نرزقهم وإياكم Allah say, we are the
one who provide for you, as a mother,
as a father, your rizq also was provided
by Allah, and we will provide for the
baby.
You don't have to worry.
ولا تقتلوا أولادكم قشة إملاك Allah say, never
intend to kill any of the child, the
baby, fear of hunger, or economically we are
not ready, financially we are not strong, don't
think about, the rizq will be there.
Just have faith in Allah.
Then what happen at the end, after giving
birth, call back, and then ask, confirm everything,
if he say yes, better, with all the
family support, go to the religious authority, and
say, my husband have plan to divorce me
from the day I was pregnant, but he
can't because Islam do not allow, but now
after delivering the baby, we finalize it, and
he said, then there is no iddah for
the wife.
The wife, if have the intention to get
married again, remarried, she don't have to wait
for 3 months, 10 days, no need.
If somebody is waiting already, bismillah.
Just an example, the law, why?
Because she is clean, totally clean now.
The iddah period is to make sure that
everything inside us is clean.
That is why the iddah come in.
The period of a man who divorce the
wife, and the iddah is there to make
sure the wife do not carry any future
child, or is not pregnant.
But, during the breastfeeding term, the baby father
is required to support the mother.
Whatever the mother's need, it is his responsibility.
You just imagine, if the mother refuse to
breastfeed, the baby, then what can the father
do?
The father have to buy baby's milk.
Not from the mother, from the father.
He got to invest in that to make
sure the baby survive.
If not, if he is a very irresponsible
man, we will do what we have to
do to save the child, but he commit
a sin by do not carry out his
basic responsibility.
Number four, the father should support the mother
approximately in accordance with his mean.
Of course, you only have to do what
you can.
Number five, it is impermissible for the father
to prevent the mother from breastfeeding her baby
in order to cause her harm and aggravation.
That means sometimes you have a lot of
anger that you want to punish the mother
by not allowing the mother breastfeed the child.
You want to breastfeed the child with another
woman, or you have other kind of feeding,
not through the mothers.
You can't do that.
That is the right of the mother.
That's why in Islam, the basic right must
be protected, must be honoured.
The right to honour her right as a
mother.
You cannot take that away.
Your anger is your anger.
Maybe you can't see her anymore.
That is your problem, but you cannot stop
her from carrying out her duty towards the
baby.
If one of the baby's parents think that
there is need to wean the baby prior
to the end of the two-year term,
he or she should consult with the other
parents.
Weaning would then be allowed after the consultation
and the joint agreement.
So everything comes back to discussion.
In life, very important, we must discuss.
There is no matter that you cannot solve.
That is why Allah says, فَإِن تَنَزَقْتُمْ فِي
شَيْءٍ فَرُدُّهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ If there is a
dispute, disagreement in any matter, brothers and sisters,
as a believer, immediately every party who believes
in Allah and the Prophet who made shahada,
أَشَهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولًا humble themselves, let us
go back to the Book of Allah and
the teaching of the Prophet as our reference.
Not say, I am right, you are wrong.
You are right, I am wrong.
No need.
Maybe both are right, maybe both are wrong.
But what Allah said, what the Prophet said,
both follow.
Then both is a win-win situation.
It is not something personal.
Life belongs to Allah.
Allah who gives us everything.
Anything you want to end, let us end
peacefully, with respect.
This is not easy, I know.
Because we are not following the guidance of
the Quran and the Sunnah today.
We follow our feeling, our anger, our emotion.
Too emotional.
Sometimes parents can be the cause of a
divorce.
The parents don't like the in-laws, whether
the daughter-in-law, son-in-law.
So the parents put pressure to their own
children to leave the wife or to leave
the husband.
Sometimes you have this.
Parents fail to play their role as a
parent.
To bring peace to the family.
If you know your son is very irresponsible,
you must advise your son.
And also, you come in and show to
your in-law, we are here to protect
you.
Don't worry.
You are our daughter-in-law.
In-laws, you are in now.
Not daughter-out-laws.
You are in-laws.
You are our daughter.
Whoever hurts you is hurting our own daughter.
That is how the in-laws should come
in.
But some in-laws just wait for the
husband, the son, to divorce the daughter-in
-law.
And they are very happy.
Astaghfirullah.
That's why in Islam, when you get married,
don't go online.
Don't go online to the marriage planner because
you do not know their background.
We have experienced people get married through that.
What is their intention?
Only Allah knows.
But proven, it's not safe.
They look at this family, Alhamdulillah, and their
daughter got blue eyes, and they want their
future children have blue eyes, and they say
they are not married, and they believe, decide
to leave.
Nikah took place.
Just one month.
Just one month, the man divorced.
Yes, the wife.
But the wife is pregnant.
After confirming pregnancy, he divorced her.
Very, very sad.
That's why in our country, it's very different,
Alhamdulillah.
In Malaysia, I don't know other country, anyone
who want to get married with foreigner who
are not local because you do not know
their background, you never met up with their
family members because they are foreigner.
Religious authority will not endorse.
Number one, if you don't have a letter,
official letter from your embassy to declare you
are single, number one.
Because what happened to the case that I
told you earlier?
After getting married and the wife is pregnant,
he said to the wife, I'm going back
to my country.
She said, why are you going there?
To visit my first wife.
He got a wife, but he did not
inform this family.
When he came, he said, I'm single.
So based on these experiences, Alhamdulillah, our country
reinforced this rule.
You can get married, of course, as long
as both are Muslim.
Anywhere you can, but both parties must get
a letter from their own embassy to prove
that they both are single.
Of course, the woman must be single, but
you don't know.
We have case also.
The woman came here and work.
They are foreigner.
They are poor.
Their family back home are poor.
They are here to work.
And now she work, and then the boss
seems to like her a lot, a young
boss, and not married.
So then he said, I'm not married.
So the young man is a very innocent
man, very good man.
Came to us and asked us.
I said, oh, it's better for you to
go and visit her family because they are
Muslim.
Visit her.
You must go and see their family.
You have the means to go.
They went.
But this woman, because of dunya, she planned
very well.
She talked to her parents and talked to
her husband.
Don't say that we are married.
Say that we are sibling.
Don't say.
I inform this man, my boss, I am
single.
So this man travel back to meet up
with her parents, and he have no idea
that she was married.
How do he found out?
After getting married, then they came here.
For few months, then the wife start to
say to the husband, I would like my
brother to come here also, if you can
help him so that he also can work
here.
He can help us with the company.
Very humble, innocent man.
Good idea.
Bring the brother.
Later on, he found out why is this
brother so close to this sister.
A different kind of closeness.
Finally, Allah's will been exposed that they have
relationship.
Because they are husband and wife.
So what will happen?
Of course, automatically, the marriage is not valid
anymore.
You cannot marry a married woman.
For the earlier story, this is a married
man.
Man can marry more than one.
No problem, but you are not supposed to
lie.
If you say you are married and she
is ready to be the second, the third,
or the fourth, it is still okay.
If you are ready for that.
That's why the law of the country later
on said, both parties must have endorsement from
the embassy to say, I am a single
lady.
I'm not married.
And the other party also, I'm not a
married man.
I'm single.
But if they lie, the court can come
after them to protect the right of each
party.
So all these things are important.
That's why when you are in contact with
any foreigners, there is nothing wrong in Islam.
You must make sure everything is clear.
We do not want to be caught by
surprise.
It is not good at all.
We trust you and then you betray me.
You lie to me.
Islam making is haram.
This kind of lying is totally haram.
But sometimes our tradition people say there is
a lie that is permissible.
And they even say sunnah.
Sunnah if you lie, you get reward.
We don't use the word sunnah lying.
You use another word.
You must have wisdom to talk to people.
But you don't have to lie.
Because the Prophet said, Stay
away from lying because lying will end in
committing a lot of bad thing and sin.
And the sin will end in * fire.
Don't do that.
Children, you have done anything wrong without the
parent's knowledge.
If your parent asks you, don't lie.
You need help.
The parent may be able to give you
some good advice how to move on, how
to rectify your mistake.
Don't keep on lying.
So sometimes with the parent's joint agreement, it
is permissible to hire another woman to breastfeed
the baby.
There is both must agree.
If not, you just feed the baby with
other kind of milk.
It's very, very important.
Breastfeeding has many advantages over artificial feeding.
Of course, anything breastfeeding direct from the human
body is very, very good, encouraged in Islam.
In what follow, we present a selected list
of them as proposed by some physician.
The mother's milk is assured to be clean
and sterilized.
The mother's milk always has the right temperature
for the baby.
This is thing that Allah provide.
When Allah want you to do that, Allah
protect you.
Allah provide for the children.
So this is how anything that you go
back to the fitrah, then the benefit is
always better.
The mother's milk is available whenever the baby
needs it.
The mother milk remain fresh and does not
go bad in storage.
The mother milk is suitable to the baby
digestive system.
Many things happen in our body that we
can't see.
Allah know best.
So when Allah said, do this, do that,
the fitrah is the best.
The mother milk contain all the necessary nutrition
for the baby.
Very important.
That's why when the mother is pregnant, first
thing the mother must take care of her
well-being, and the husband must provide for
her.
Give her the best food, the best nutrition,
so that she produce the best milk for
the baby.
And the baby will get stronger, very good
immune system, because they got the best and
balanced food.
So that's why husband must always take double
care to the wife when the wife is
breastfeeding.
Even when the wife is pregnant from day
one, he must show love, extra care, extra
passion, love to the wife.
Because she is going through all the pain,
and she's ready to go through all the
suffering because of the baby.
And it's our baby.
You're helping everybody.
You're helping your wife, helping your future children,
so they become healthy, strong.
That's what we want.
How do you feel if you don't care
for your wife now, the mother, and she
is not healthy, and she cannot produce healthy
milk?
Now the children was born with a lot
of side effects.
How do you feel?
You're going to waste a lot of unnecessary
money.
Why not you just focus on the well
-being of the wife, the mother of the
child.
Let her be strong, let her be healthy,
and she breastfeed the baby.
The baby will be growing very well, and
the baby is strong and healthy.
Save you from a lot of expenses.
So there is always this chain of reaction.
The mothers may provide the baby with immunity
against various infection.
You see today, I don't know, still going
on.
Maybe some doctor can confirm.
Our time when you were born, they give
you injection.
For what?
They have their own reason to protect the
baby from this, from this.
Only Allah knows.
We don't know.
This is what the pharmacy, the doctor have
done to all of us.
Whether we need that or not, Wallahu'ala.
That's why nowadays people are looking into that.
This is a big business.
They just want money.
They go for the kill.
They don't care.
We don't know.
Maybe they need the children.
It's weak because of this and that, so
you need extra protection.
Wallahu'ala.
But do in the time of our Prophet,
the company have any kind of vaccine?
No.
They don't have vaccine like us.
From baby, from young, without your understanding, your
body is being given to the people or
authority to do what they like, to inject
whatever they want.
It's like when COVID died.
Now they have what?
They have 4C.
They become very allergic to a lot of
people.
Phobia.
Last time you have cough, first C.
Cold, second C.
You stop there.
Now the third C come in.
Cough plus cold plus COVID.
Today you cough, people run away from you.
Of course you don't go and cough in
front of people.
You can just lower down your face.
You go downward or you put just a
handkerchief to cover.
It's good.
But now you cough, people run away.
Because of the third C of COVID.
And the last one is a killer.
The last C is a killer.
What is that?
The people just allergic with that.
What is the fourth C?
Cancer.
When you go to the doctor, they say,
I have to cut you.
Because there is growth, there is a cancer.
Brothers and sisters, this term is just a
term, please remember.
Everybody has some growth inside him.
Just how you take care of your well
-being.
Be strong, be healthy, be active.
Why does Islam call you to pray five
times a day?
The movement, the bowing, making sujood.
All this movement is good for the organ.
Help the blood flow.
Fasting is a kind of, what do you
do with fasting?
Fasting is where you start to control your
food and everything.
Discipline and make sure that you're going through
a what?
Overhaul your body, need rest.
If not, you keep on eating nonstop.
Now you have to control.
Your body needs rest.
All these are very good.
If you just follow the Islamic guideline, you
can see.
You appreciate your health.
Everything is for your own good.
Number eight, breastfeeding suppresses obesity in mothers and
babies.
It helps.
Anything that is natural, organic, is always better.
Breastfeeding strengthens affection and emotional ties between mother
and her baby.
A hundred percent, you cannot take that away.
When the mother is there, the baby responds
very differently.
Sometimes the mother becomes jealous.
When the baby can call, can speak, he
always calls Baba, Papa.
They hardly say Mama, Mummy.
That makes the mother sometimes a bit jealous.
I take care of you, I breastfeed you,
I dress you, I wash you, I do
everything.
But when you see Papa, you forget Mama.
But Mama has no problem.
Because Mama knows that it is very good
for the baby to love the Papa too.
But it does.
A father cannot do anything.
A father can just give him feeding through
a bottle, but a mother is very close
to the body.
Alhamdulillah.
Number ten, breastfeeding may be performed in an
act of worship, seeking to Allah's pleasure and
acceptance.
You are doing it for the sake of
Allah.
Now the modern woman has a different value.
Corrupted by the man also.
The man wants the wife to look young
always, healthy, not haggard.
No, no, no, don't give breastfeeding.
We replace breastfeeding with other things.
Take care of yourself.
So they cause a lot of problems.
We do it for the sake of Allah.
Don't worry.
A man who loves you is not just
looking in your body.
He loves you as a person, not a
certain part of your body, but you as
a person.
And if you want to gain more love,
you must learn the art of communication, how
to communicate with your husband.
If your husband is not close to his
family, you should take the initiative to help
the husband to get closer to his family.
By using, I love to go and visit
papa, mama, his family.
If you don't have time, I will do
it by myself to make sure that he
is connected.
The same goes for a good husband.
If the wife is not close to her
family, a good husband will take the initiative
to strengthen the tie.
You are here to strengthen the family tie,
not to weaken the family tie and take
away people's daughter or son.
You are not supposed to do that.
It's a family unity.
That is marriage.
You merge two families together.
So when people don't have this value, then
they are not ready to be a good
husband and a good wife.
So that's why both parties must educate themselves.
If you want the best, you follow the
Islamic principle, the guidance of the Quran and
Sunnah, you get the best.
Sometimes we parents overlook.
We never enforce this value.
That's why when you want to get your
daughter married right now, you must know the
other party's family.
How do you feel?
Because you are giving your daughter away to
a stranger.
You don't want them to ill-treat your
daughter.
And sometimes the world has changed.
Not only the woman has always been bullied.
Sometimes women can bully men.
I've seen a woman bring her boyfriend in
and call the husband to serve the boyfriend.
And she just entertain talking to a stranger
and the husband is doing all the other
job.
Also it's wrong.
Everything has a limit.
It's very important to identify the right partner
for our future generation.
So you have a lot of peace.
But if things have not been going very
well before, nothing is too late.
Try your best.
We can just keep on trying and have
faith in Allah.
If you do your best, you pray, inshallah
one day things will change.
The love, the unity will come back inshallah.
Very important.
Pregnancy of a nursing mother.
If a breastfeeding mother gets pregnant, the quality
of her milk is usually degraded.
Sometimes when you are breastfeeding suddenly, you got
pregnant again.
That's why sometimes you see the family planning,
if you don't plan properly, you can have
children after the first one.
The difference is just between 11 months sometimes,
12 months.
Alhamdulillah, if you are healthy, you are productive,
there's nothing wrong.
But the milk normally will degrade because the
changes of your hormone in the body.
So some scholars recommend avoiding * with breastfeeding
woman or taking measures to avoid impregnating her.
If you can do, it's a family planning.
So that maybe after the two years, then
you can plan for another child.
It's not haram, but it's just something that
can help our wife.
The mother's well-being is taken care of.
The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam permitted having
relationship, intimacy with a pregnant woman, of course.
Furthermore, he did not consider it necessary or
useful to practice early withdrawal as a measure
of birth control with her.
Because it happened in a time, the prophets,
that Justama binti Wahb said that the prophet
remind him, I was about to prohibit having
* with a nursing woman, but then realized
that the Romans and the Persians do it,
and it does not harm their children.
At first, the prophet was thinking of that,
but then Allah guide him not to forbid
that relationship.
He, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, was then asked
about early withdrawal, and he replied, that is
secret killing of children.
The secret killing of children.
Can it be done?
It was allowed also.
Sa'ad bin Abi Waqqas reported that a
man came to Allah's messenger, Prophet Muhammad and
said, I perform early withdrawal with my wife.
The prophet asked him, lima yaf'aruza, why
do you do that?
He replied, I pity her child that she
is nursing.
Allah mentions, the prophet's messenger said, it is
harmful, the meaning, for a woman to continue
breastfeeding after conception.
It would have harmed the Persian and the
Roman, if it is harmful.
We conclude from this the following, it is
permissible for a man to have relationship with
his breastfeeding wife.
Islam does not forbid.
Number two, it is permissible, but not recommended,
to practice early withdrawal with a breastfeeding woman.
It is a kind of family planning.
Number three, if the nursing woman gets pregnant,
she does not have to stop breastfeeding her
baby.
She can still carry on, because Allah still
provides for her and for the child.
However, if her physical condition is such that
her pregnancy clearly degrades her milk, she may
need to terminate her breastfeeding and find an
alternative, wetness if possible, or milk substitute for
her baby.
But always remember, when you feed the child
with other than the mothers, please, please use
your right hand.
Use your right hand to feed the baby.
Anytime, as they are growing, always right, right,
right, so that Allah's blessing is always there.
It's not the fault of the baby.
The baby depends on you, but you as
adult, don't feed your baby using your left
hand at any time.
From baby until they become adult.
Remind them, right, right, right.
We want to have righteous children, so we
must do it right from the beginning.
A lot of parents overlook, oh, give them
excuses, no, it's okay, left-handed.
Left-handed, you can change that.
If the Prophet said, don't eat, don't drink
with left hand, that means you can discipline
and help the child.
You want to do other things with left
hand, it's still a different rule, because it's
not food.
Even like giving also, right hand, but the
Malay, I don't know about the English or
the Arabs, the Malay, when you want to
give somebody, if you give them, they always
ask forgiveness.
Maaf, yeah, forgive me.
I'm giving you, passing you something with my
left hand.
Normally they will do that.
But when they pass something to you right
hand, they don't say that.
Only when they pass something to you, like
they want to pass a book, a key
or anything, they say maaf tangan kiri, the
Malay word, maaf tangan kiri.
Why they say that?
It's not nice to give with your left
hand, but still giving, receiving with your left
hand, there's no sin.
But feeding, eating and drinking with your left
hand is considered a sin because the Prophet
forbid that.
Anything the Prophet forbid and you do is
a sin.
It's just an encouragement, then it's okay.
So may Allah help all of us to
be alert about this value so that we
will not do anything that may cause harm
to the children without we realize.
La darara wala dirara.
Don't do anything that cause harm to yourself,
that may even cause harm to other people.
So from today onwards, don't take this adab
of drinking, eating with your right hand as
a small matter.
Don't do that.
You're growing.
You want everything that go into your body,
it's been blessed by Allah.
You want to get Allah's blessing.
Sometimes the children are learning, but the parents
have that habit, very fast with the left,
very fast.
So children must help the parents.
Righteous children will remind their parents, Papa, right,
right.
Sometimes Papa say, okay, okay.
But Papa should be happy when the child
is reminding you about what the Prophet said.
You should be very proud.
And that's why Allah said, wal mu'minun wal
mu'minat ba'duhum awliya'u ba'd.
Ya'muruna bil ma'ruf yan ha'una ani
munkar.
Believing men, believing women, husband or wife, they
are complementing each other, helper, companion.
They always remind each other to do all
the good things and forbid each other to
do the bad things.
So if you know it's good, encourage.
You know that it's bad, discourage, remind.
You're not suppose, oh, anyhow, * and paradise,
it's up to you.
You want to go to *, bismillah.
It's your choice.
I want to go to paradise.
That means they don't love you.
That's why they don't care about you.
If they care about you, care about your
children, they want to make sure all of
us will meet in paradise again.
Now you're happy here, you're happy there.
That's why we ask Allah, Rabbana a'tina fid
dunya hasana, wa fil aqirati hasana, waqina azabana.
We have been asking Allah every time.
Oh Allah, give us the best happiness, success
in this life.
And we want to be happy also in
the next life.
Do you like to meet your loved one
together in jannah?
How do you feel?
If you love your family here, you sacrifice
so much for them, do you like to
see them again together in paradise?
Of course.
Or you have another plan already?
Dangerous.
So may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless
all of us who are here, who are
very consistent in our classes, and who always
want to learn, and always get ready for
what is going to come.
If you don't have that problem now, you
may help your children, you may help your
friend.
Remind them, especially those who are involved, that
somebody come to you, or anybody who want
to adopt any baby, because we have some
people who have some problem, they are not
going to take care of their child.
They are willing to give away.
So after you found out that somebody is
ready to adopt any child, remind them about
their duty.
How to adopt a child properly, so that
they don't have problem.
If not, they are going to have a
lot of problem, and they don't care.
A lot of Muslims, they don't care today.
But it's haram.
After a certain age, their aura, your aura
is haram, because you are not mahram.
If your adopted son got married, and you
can marry, if he has divorced that wife,
you can get married, because there is no
relationship.
You are just a caretaker.
But one, if they have been breastfed, that
means that you can't.
Just an example.
Inshallah, if there is any question, now we
move to Q&A.
Any question?
Any question online?
You have to move a bit.
Any question online?
While you are finding any question on site?
No question, Alhamdulillah.
Any question from the children first?
No.
Yes, she said pass the mic, please.
No, behind you have one, the sister is
there.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, Sheikh.
Waalaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
I was asked if adopting any child who
is more than two years old, and after
he or she becomes 18 years old, adopted
mother and adopted father cannot hug him, cannot
live together, cannot kiss him, right?
Yes, after balik, before balik they can.
Before balik, before he reaches the age of
maturity, so we can still hug them.
There is a lot, like when you see
any children, you can hug them.
The Prophet loved that also, showed that he
loved all the children.
But when they reach maturity, there's the limit,
the law come in.
You cannot, that's why it's very tricky if
you're not careful, because you're so used to
it.
To be hugging all this, suddenly you become
like a stranger.
The law is here to protect what is
right and what is wrong.
Even you think it's okay, but it's wrong.
So that's why anybody who wants to get
involved in this, adopting a child, they must
understand it, so that they don't create this
problem.
It's very hard, it's not easy, because you
only can breastfeed a child, consider as breastfeeding
and become the breastfeeding sibling, is before two
years.
After that, no more.
That's why a lot of people who like
to do good things, but they are not
alert about this.
For the not-yet-Muslim, they don't have
this kind of ruling, but for us, because
Allah and the Prophet said so, so we
have to honor.
Because they can one day tell you, I'm
not your son, I'm not your daughter, so
don't force me to do this.
They can say to you, it's more hurting.
It's more hurting when you give everything to
your adopted child, everything that you have, suddenly
he became very arrogant, ungrateful.
So we also teach the children to be
grateful, but there is also a limit for
everything, what you can, what you can't.
But very tough, I understand this kind of
feeling, very, very tough.
I've seen a lot of people having this
problem, and they just cannot help themselves.
How can I not hug him, he's my
son.
I adopted him from three years old, four
years, and this baby only knows that this
is the father, how can you stop him
from hugging the mother?
Very tough.
But may Allah protect us.
Anything good you want to do, you must
have knowledge, you must have plan properly, so
that you don't do the wrong thing, with
good intention, but wrong action.
Alhamdulillah.
Next.
Any second question?
Do you all feel that we encounter this
problem in our community today?
So we don't want this to continue.
We don't want this to continue, because it
happened.
A few years ago, I think I shared
with you this breastfeeding sibling.
They don't know, they are innocent.
As they grow up, both went and studied.
They were not together anymore, and they went
to study abroad.
And then Allah's Qadar, but not the right
Qadar, they feel for each other, and then
they got married, got children.
Later on, somebody came and tell them, you
cannot get married, because you all are breastfeeding
siblings.
But they have children now.
For they brought it to the Sharia court,
the court have no other choice.
If everything confirm, what the witness is there
to confirm, yes.
The mother breastfeed this, the same mother breastfeed
the other.
They have to cancel their relationship as husband
and wife.
Can you see how complicated the situation now?
The children is there.
What is going to happen to the children
now?
Haram, there is nothing wrong for the children,
they are not aware of it.
And we don't blame the adult also, because
they are not alert.
They don't know.
They disconnect themselves already.
But they have to stop.
Very, very tough.
That's why Islam always say prevention is better
than cure.
Don't let something mess up, and then, what
can I do?
You can't do anything.
The law have said that this is haram,
haram.
Very, very difficult situation for everybody.
That's why we learn today, we remember, in
the future you come across people who are
involved in breastfeeding, everything must be recorded properly.
All the family members must be alert.
If we have tried our best, something still
happen, it's the Qadar of Allah.
What we are sharing today because of what
have happened.
And what the Prophet said is so true.
If you are not careful, it's going to
happen again.
Why the law is there?
Because these things have happened.
And that's why the law said, what you
can, what you can't.
Be careful.
And we do, according to the Islamic guidance.
You will never have all these problems, inshallah.
Minimize your problems.
You know, this kind of issue, if people
are not careful, the best thing for them
to do, the shaitan whispered inside them, get
out.
Qadar of Allah, get out from the deen.
Because the other deen don't have this law.
Only we have this kind of law.
So may Allah protect us and protect the
ummah wherever they are.
And with the knowledge that you have today,
brother and sister, even we are still young,
for those who are young, if you encounter,
you know that something around this law is
going to happen, please alert each other.
Bring them to see somebody who will guide
them properly.
That's why overconfidence and disconnect yourself with good
scholars is a fitna.
Because good scholars are alert about this.
But just a normal imam, they don't have
this understanding at all.
They don't even know what is happening.
They only know how to make long dua,
alhamdulillah.
But we don't need only dua, we need
more than that.
Islam is a way of life.
That's why I said we should be very
proud, Islam has laid out everything so detailed
for you to move on, not to make
any complication to yourself and confusion in your
future.
Khuda lil-muttaqim is the divine guidance.
You follow Sirat al-Mustaqim.
May Allah help this ummah by giving them
the right knowledge guided by the Quran and
the authentic sunnah of our Prophet, sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam.
No question?
Good, alhamdulillah.
No more questions on the side?
Okay, one more.
Pass to the sister behind you.
Assalamualaikum, Ustaz.
Waalaikumussalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
Two questions.
First is, if you have an adopted child,
can they inherit your property, considering you don't
have any other valid siblings or other children?
Yeah, I think I have discussed about this
before you all came in, I think.
Yeah, they can't.
Any adopted children have no right to inherit
the property from the adopted parent.
So the parent who loves them must always
plan to give them the hiba.
Then you pass it to them before we
pass away.
They cannot fight for that.
Okay, second is, if you have a child
who is not yet a Muslim, can they
inherit your property?
No.
The same goes to both parties.
The parent cannot inherit also from their child
if the child is Muslim.
The parent are non-Muslim.
The same goes to the parent are Muslim
and the child is not yet Muslim, so
he cannot inherit.
But if you are living in a country
or the sibling, they don't mind.
They say, we want to share with him.
Then he can accept.
It's like, if you are living in a
foreign country, they don't honour the Islamic, the
Fara'id, they don't follow.
If it's stated that you are the son,
even you are a Muslim, your parent are
non-Muslim, then the property, yet the son
has the right, then you can accept.
You can accept, but you cannot fight for
it.
But if the law gives it to you,
you accept.
Nothing, but you don't fight for it.
You say, I have the right.
That is very important to understand.
People say, I didn't fight for it, but
they give it to me.
They give, they give.
Why we, the law of Islam, come up
with this kind of ruling?
We do not want you to get caught
in a situation where you have other member
of the family say, but you are a
Muslim.
You are not one of us anymore.
If you want, get out from Islam, we
give.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not going to trade my religion for
any price, no.
They can play that trick.
You want, okay, get out.
No, you can take that.
Money is not everything in my life.
But if they want to give it to
you, no problem.
All this, that's why you have to plan
properly, so that the adopted child, or the
not yet Muslim children, don't feel that you
are too hard on them.
You don't care for them.
Of course you care, but the law said
no.
The prophet said, the believer cannot inherit from
the non-believers, and vice versa, both sides.
Cannot.
So we give.
But even Hibah also, you cannot give all,
right?
Of course, Hibah you can.
Hibah, the maximum is one third.
But if you want to give more, you
can give when you are still alive.
Because all this Hibah sometimes is when you
pass away.
So the law will look into what you
have decided.
Oh, you have said, if something happen to
me, I want so and so, who is
not the waris, to get this much.
So they check, how much is your property?
Have you reached one third?
Maximum one third.
After that, stop.
But if the sibling, the waris don't mind,
don't worry, I won't look at.
Say example, the man, the boy have two
share, the girl have one share.
But if after we pass away, the family
get together, they say, my share I give
it to you.
Or we have equal share.
Sibling agree, no problem.
It's like the father pass away now, have
a lot of property, the children are well
off too, they got their own business, now
only the mother, the children can say, we
sit down together, our right is been given,
so we say, everybody agree, we give all
this to mama.
You are right.
Then the mother can have everything.
It's up to the agreement among the people
who have right and authority towards the property.
But the right of them must be honor
first.
The rest then you follow up.
That's why you see, if you have a
good sibling, you have a good family, they
don't fight because of that.
They always want to be fair, what you
need.
They may not need, other siblings need more,
give it to them.
You are helping your own sibling, what do
you lose?
You don't lose anything.
But when you don't have righteous family, righteous
sibling you see struggle, problems start.
Now, Auzubillah, you know.
He felt that now I'm in control.
You are making Zoom, oppressing the right of
your other sibling.
And this is haram.
In the Islamic law, they don't allow you
to delay.
But the law today, we don't know.
Your right is there, but people just because
of this, you know, disagreement, then the law
make it so.
I personally feel that something is very wrong
with the system.
When this kind of thing can be solved
within month, kalas.
Authority have the right to call all the
sibling, come in.
You don't come, I consider you agree.
You come also, you must agree.
Because you have no right, oh, I have
sentimental value, this property, our parents' property.
Yeah, but they are no more here.
It belong to all the sibling, it's not
belong to you only.
If you are very sentimental, okay, you want
to keep the house, keep.
But what is the right of the other
sibling, give it to them.
So you buy over the property.
What is their right, give it to them,
and then you keep that.
No problem.
There's always ways to solve problem.
But don't try to show you're bossy, you're
my way, my way.
No, no, don't do that.
I just don't understand how can this kind
of case is not settled within month.
For years, why, what is happening?
You allow zulm to happen, somebody to oppress
the weak one.
No, it's very wrong.
Astaghfirullah.
May Allah bless you.
Clear?
Subhanakallahumma bihamdik.
Ashhadu an la ilaha illa anta.
Astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaih.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.