Hosai Mojaddidi – When I Judged a BarelyClad Woman at Oakland Airport

You know, I was practicing for a while, and I was all about form. I

used to wear, like, you know, it was, it was fun, um, at that time

was, was very much about how you looked, you know, so not only did

you have to wear hijab, January correctly, and then you had to

wear you know, it was very, I don't know, it's just a different

message than about looking very Muslim. So I used to walk around

all black, like, everywhere, you know, that job, and I would have

no makeup on. And I was just like, you know, like, nothing, no smile,

no, actually put intentionally I would not smile. I'm not kidding.

And I had friends who say, Why do you walk around like this? Because

I was on college campus. And I'm just like, and I would say, you

know, I don't want that far to know. I'm not afraid.

That's how I used to walk around with that kind of energy. Can you

imagine how, how honest, that really is when you start to

understand. But I just thought that was it was a very interesting

way of practicing back then. So I used to walk around like that. And

I used to judge people all the time for how they weren't dressed

the way that I thought that she does. And I'm someone you know,

again, I was I thought I was on the right path. And I thought,

This is what Islam is. One day, I was at Oakland airport. And I

shared a story just to show you again, how this hit me. I was an

Oakland airport, and I was waiting for a ride. This car pulls up and

this lady walks out. She's like, you know, typical white American

woman. And she's wearing like a tank top and shorts, like short

shorts. And of course, I'm sitting there in my gear to the bed and

I'm just like,

I've got like, daggers coming on my eyes towards this lady, you

know, I'm like, looking at her. Like, I was just dressed like,

what is this ridiculous, I have all these terrible thoughts in my

mind. And I swear to you, this happens. She, cuz she's, she's in

her, you know, she's has a trunk open, and she's moving stuff in

her car. This is where all these thoughts are coming. She sees me.

And she like, looks right at me. And I was like, oh, de, you know,

like, my thoughts out of my head. Like, are they? You know, she's

hearing my thoughts. Like, it just felt very awkward to see this

woman that I'm thinking about all these terrible things, looking at

me because there's so has, you know, a bustling airport. A lot of

people, you know, a lot of traffic, but she looks right at

me. And then she closes her trunk. And she walks like, directly

towards me. And I was like, Oh, my God, like I my heartbeat was like,

boom, boom, boom, like, what is gonna happen now. And she this,

this is what comes out of her mouth. Somebody comes.

And she's like, I know, I don't look like a Muslim. I'm actually

really embarrassed the way that I look right now. I converted to

Islam. And she started telling me her story. And she's just like, so

humble, so timid, and just really feeling, you know, shy, but she's

like, I felt compelled to talk to you. Because, you know, I'm

raising my, my son, Muslim, and I don't have any information. And I

saw you and I thought it was like a sign from God, that maybe I

should come talk to you and ask you for books, like references for

books. And you can imagine what's going on inside of me, right? So

this is what I call this, you know, life changing moments.

Absolutely. Like, I felt like I just got hit in the face. Because

from the outward, just looking at examining the two, you know,

people would assume a lot of things about me and assume a lot

of things about her but the realities are so far right. Here's

she is someone who's seeking who's humble, who's coming with that

soft, gentle heart and here I am on my high horse thinking I was

something you know, so it really did wake me up. And that was a

turning point for me to realize, like all these years, like you've

been worrying about this, this this. So that's why this intention

matters so much because it's all for naught. You know, it's all

means nothing if it's not done with the right intention. So we

have to remember that every day, every single day. So we started