Hosai Mojaddidi – The Four Temperaments
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I met my husband in 2006. And we were married about a year later,
we had the typical long distance courtship because I was in the Bay
Area, and he was here, which meant we had to rely on phone calls,
texts, emails to really get to know each other. This was when
Facebook was really in its infancy. And I don't even think
Twitter and Instagram or anywhere around smartphones had, I think
just emerged into the market, we couldn't afford them anyway. So
believe it or not, it might be hard for some of you, especially
the youth to understand what our form of a selfie was actually
introducing ourselves to each other. We didn't, you know, do
that.
Now, for those of you who know, my husband, you know that we are very
different. And actually, we get that all the time, like, Oh, you
guys are so different. We are, we're very different. And we are
the classic opposites attract sort of a couple
100. And we're also very similar in many ways, which is why we're
together. But the differences between us really came apparent to
me, during the very first year of our marriage, in the first few
months, you know, those delicate honeymoon that held the honeymoon
phase. But in those first three months, I remember we had attended
a lecture. Similar to this, I think it was in a hall. I don't
know if it was here at Chapman, but it was in another university.
And I remember we had we know, we didn't get to really interact much
during the actual talk. So I, as soon as we finished and we got
into the car, I was just so excited. I had, I hadn't heard a
lot of the speakers before, and there was so much is rushing
through my mind. And I tend to do this, he still complains that I
you know, kind of bombard him all at once. Because as you can tell,
I'm talkative, I can be boisterous. And so I was just so
excited and enthusiastic about everything that when I looked over
at him, he was, you know, just not really as engaged or he seemed a
little disconnected. And of course, I did what all girls do,
we took it personally, I took it personally. But I thought you know
something's wrong, or you know, he just didn't like the talk. And I
just started letting my mind kind of getting carried away. And in
his defense, he was focused, he was driving, you know, changing
lanes, finding the freeway, and we all know the issue with men and
multitasking, but we won't go there. So it wasn't his fault.
And, you know, he instantly noticed my mood changed. So a few
minutes later, he asked Is everything okay? No. And he wanted
to know, and again, you know, it's very early in our marriage, I
didn't want to cause a problem. So kind of played it down. But we did
eventually talk about it. And I realized I had completely misread
him entirely. Here, I thought that there something you know,
happened, he just wasn't as excited about the program as I
was, when in fact, it was just a mirror, you know, difference in
how we express our enthusiasm and our excitement I as we already
mentioned, you know, animated and more expressive, he's more and a
little subdued, reflective, and it takes time for him. So that was
really, for me what I call a springboard moment because I had
always, I've always been fascinated about human behavior.
And I've done all the personalized personality tests you can think of
I've looked, dabbled into this and that, but I wanted to know, what
does Islam have to say about personality differences, there
must be something out there. So I just, you know, after this point,
I contacted one of my teachers. And sure enough, he directed me to
something that I had never heard of before, which is the science of
humanism, or the four temperaments, which inshallah
we're going to get into. But before we get into that, this, I
wanted to know what, you know, what is the aim of this particular
science? And really, it is to answer this old age question that
we have, you know, that has perplexed humanity for centuries,
which is what motivates human behavior, you know, the argument
or the debate of nature versus nurture? What is it? Are we born
with certain innate qualities that we really can't control? Is it
environment solely? Is it both? Because if we looked at any group,
I mean, if we had a survey right now, of every single person here,
and we had a scenario, maybe, you know, someone trips or falls with
some incident happens, there would be different responses and
different reactions from every single person in this group. And
of course, we'd see patterns, right? Because there's a there is
a pattern to the way that we interact with each other and the
way that we react with one another. And even within the same
family. Interesting enough, you can have siblings, right? I come
from a family of five or five siblings. We're very different in
our personality. So you can have people who are raised in under the
same household with the same parenting same set of values. But
why is it that their temperaments or dispositions or personalities
are different? And even studies have shown identical twins? Are
there any buddy who has twins in their family or is a twin in this
room? Right sometimes, you know, twins, some of them, yes,
physically, they're identical. And they may even act the same way but
other times you find twins, who have completely different
The personality. So all of these mysteries are really what the aim
of this science aims to, or aims to try to clarify. So if you look
back, the history of the origins of it goes as far back as ancient
Egypt or Mesopotamia. And it was directly linked to the theory of
the four elements, this idea that there aren't, you know, air,
water, fire and earth are the four elements, and that human beings
are somehow connected to these elements. So if we fast forward,
Hippocrates, who was the father of modern Western medicine, he came
along and he took these theories and he began to adapt them into
his own medical practice, he started looking at people and he
saw that after examining their bodies, he saw that every single
human being has the presence of four basic fluids or what he
called humors. And they are phlegm blood, yellow bile and black bile.
And he theorized that if you had either an excess of or a lack of
one of these substances, that it would actually motivate your mood,
your behavior, your emotion. So this is what he theorized. And
then you fast forward after him, Galen, another Greek physician
came along, and he took
Hippocrates theories. And he added on to that even more by actually
creating a typography he divided the the the four temperaments into
two categories. Again, connecting with the theory of the elements.
He said that hot, dry, cold and wet, and then he gave them names,
and we're gonna go over those names today. The names are
choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, and melancholic. So this basically
means is that every single human being is going to identify with
one of these temperaments more than the others. And there's a
there's a primary temperament that you'll identify with. And then a
secondary. Now Modern medicine has abandoned this theory altogether.
Medical field but in other fields, like psychology, education, and
even in religious studies, it's still applied today. So the first
one. So when you think of the choleric temperament, the animal
that you want to think about is a lion. Because what do we think
about when we think of a lion, we think of the king of the jungle,
right? They're natural leaders. So a choleric temperament is someone
who has a natural leader, they're assertive. They're extroverts.
They're reactionary, they aren't rational, and they're not very
emotionally expressive. And their motto is we like to have it our
way. So if you're a choleric, and you're this is probably speaking
your language. If you're a sanguine, which is the next
temperament, you are the golden retriever, and again, and you
think of a golden retriever, the friendliest dog out there and
really sweet. They are the popular, sociable, amiable,
temperament. They love people, they love large groups, they love
to laugh. They're usually the life of the party. They're optimistic.
They're also extroverts, and they're reactionary. And their
motto is we like to be popular.
Then we have the phlegmatic temperament. And these are the
otters. Okay, so think of the otter, they're introverts. They're
not very reactionary. They're emotionally expressive. They like
to analyze people, they're usually very humble, timid people. They
like harmony. They're flexible. And their motto is, we like it
peaceful and calm. So again, you might know that is someone who,
who reminds you of that temperament. And the last one is
the melancholic. And this is the beaver of the group. So you want
to think of a beaver. And what do they do? Beavers are always
building they need to create. So these they're introverts. They're
non reactionary, but they're very focused, they're diligent, they
need to get things done, they're disciplined and organized. We all
have someone like that in our life, right? Who just will come
and fix things in your house that are out, you know, that are the
frames on the wall. Towels need to be lined up correctly. So that's
the melancholic they'd like order. And their motto is we like it done
the right way. So by now, I'm sure you might, you know, feel that you
do read one of these temperaments. You feel something or leaning
towards it, which but if you're still unsure, the quickest way to
determine what you are is two things. First, you want to ask, Am
I an introvert or an extrovert? And we should all at this point in
our lives know what we are? And after that, you want to find out
how react how do I react to things? What is the duration of my
reaction? So do you let things go easily? Or do you hold on? So if
you are someone who is a reactionary person, you react
quickly to something if someone comes in your face and they get
upset? You're like, oh, I don't think so. And you just can get
right back in their face. And you will then X that person out of
your life, you're probably a choleric, like, I'm done with you.
But if you're in their face right away, and then five minutes later,
you feel bad. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Can I take you out? Let's
go for coffee ice cream. What do you want? You're probably a
sanguine, you're very worried about you know, hurting people. So
that's a reactionary person. If you're not reactionary, someone
upsets you, but you take your time to respond. Maybe you send a text
message three days later, you really hurt my feelings, you know,
but I still
Love you, then you're probably a phlegmatic and if if, again,
someone gets in your face but you don't react quickly and you hold
grudges, and then five years later, you're telling them that
time that you did this to me you really hurt me you're probably a
melancholic. So these are the ways to know what you are. And I hope
that this information leads to what it did for me, which is
really more understanding about myself and my personal
relationships. And I hope that this is a springboard moment for
all of you and you will dive into this topic even more on your own.
Thank you so much.