Hosai Mojaddidi – The Four Temperaments

Hosai Mojaddidi
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The speakers discuss their long distance relationships and personal experiences with their partner's behavior and personality. They outline their science program to clarify these differences and discuss the four temperaments of human personality, including " hotels, dry, wet, and hot," and "phleg ain't blood, yellow bile, and black bile." The program aims to understand the four temperaments of human behavior and how they can be measured and identified, with a focus on understanding the four major temperaments and their unique personality.

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			I met my husband in 2006. And we
were married about a year later,
		
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			we had the typical long distance
courtship because I was in the Bay
		
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			Area, and he was here, which meant
we had to rely on phone calls,
		
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			texts, emails to really get to
know each other. This was when
		
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			Facebook was really in its
infancy. And I don't even think
		
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			Twitter and Instagram or anywhere
around smartphones had, I think
		
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			just emerged into the market, we
couldn't afford them anyway. So
		
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			believe it or not, it might be
hard for some of you, especially
		
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			the youth to understand what our
form of a selfie was actually
		
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			introducing ourselves to each
other. We didn't, you know, do
		
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			that.
		
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			Now, for those of you who know, my
husband, you know that we are very
		
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			different. And actually, we get
that all the time, like, Oh, you
		
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			guys are so different. We are,
we're very different. And we are
		
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			the classic opposites attract sort
of a couple
		
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			100. And we're also very similar
in many ways, which is why we're
		
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			together. But the differences
between us really came apparent to
		
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			me, during the very first year of
our marriage, in the first few
		
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			months, you know, those delicate
honeymoon that held the honeymoon
		
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			phase. But in those first three
months, I remember we had attended
		
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			a lecture. Similar to this, I
think it was in a hall. I don't
		
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			know if it was here at Chapman,
but it was in another university.
		
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			And I remember we had we know, we
didn't get to really interact much
		
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			during the actual talk. So I, as
soon as we finished and we got
		
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			into the car, I was just so
excited. I had, I hadn't heard a
		
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			lot of the speakers before, and
there was so much is rushing
		
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			through my mind. And I tend to do
this, he still complains that I
		
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			you know, kind of bombard him all
at once. Because as you can tell,
		
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			I'm talkative, I can be
boisterous. And so I was just so
		
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			excited and enthusiastic about
everything that when I looked over
		
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			at him, he was, you know, just not
really as engaged or he seemed a
		
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			little disconnected. And of
course, I did what all girls do,
		
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			we took it personally, I took it
personally. But I thought you know
		
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			something's wrong, or you know, he
just didn't like the talk. And I
		
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			just started letting my mind kind
of getting carried away. And in
		
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			his defense, he was focused, he
was driving, you know, changing
		
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			lanes, finding the freeway, and we
all know the issue with men and
		
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			multitasking, but we won't go
there. So it wasn't his fault.
		
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			And, you know, he instantly
noticed my mood changed. So a few
		
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			minutes later, he asked Is
everything okay? No. And he wanted
		
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			to know, and again, you know, it's
very early in our marriage, I
		
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			didn't want to cause a problem. So
kind of played it down. But we did
		
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			eventually talk about it. And I
realized I had completely misread
		
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			him entirely. Here, I thought that
there something you know,
		
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			happened, he just wasn't as
excited about the program as I
		
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			was, when in fact, it was just a
mirror, you know, difference in
		
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			how we express our enthusiasm and
our excitement I as we already
		
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			mentioned, you know, animated and
more expressive, he's more and a
		
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			little subdued, reflective, and it
takes time for him. So that was
		
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			really, for me what I call a
springboard moment because I had
		
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			always, I've always been
fascinated about human behavior.
		
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			And I've done all the personalized
personality tests you can think of
		
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			I've looked, dabbled into this and
that, but I wanted to know, what
		
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			does Islam have to say about
personality differences, there
		
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			must be something out there. So I
just, you know, after this point,
		
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			I contacted one of my teachers.
And sure enough, he directed me to
		
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			something that I had never heard
of before, which is the science of
		
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			humanism, or the four
temperaments, which inshallah
		
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			we're going to get into. But
before we get into that, this, I
		
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			wanted to know what, you know,
what is the aim of this particular
		
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			science? And really, it is to
answer this old age question that
		
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			we have, you know, that has
perplexed humanity for centuries,
		
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			which is what motivates human
behavior, you know, the argument
		
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			or the debate of nature versus
nurture? What is it? Are we born
		
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			with certain innate qualities that
we really can't control? Is it
		
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			environment solely? Is it both?
Because if we looked at any group,
		
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			I mean, if we had a survey right
now, of every single person here,
		
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			and we had a scenario, maybe, you
know, someone trips or falls with
		
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			some incident happens, there would
be different responses and
		
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			different reactions from every
single person in this group. And
		
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			of course, we'd see patterns,
right? Because there's a there is
		
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			a pattern to the way that we
interact with each other and the
		
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			way that we react with one
another. And even within the same
		
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			family. Interesting enough, you
can have siblings, right? I come
		
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			from a family of five or five
siblings. We're very different in
		
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			our personality. So you can have
people who are raised in under the
		
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			same household with the same
parenting same set of values. But
		
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			why is it that their temperaments
or dispositions or personalities
		
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			are different? And even studies
have shown identical twins? Are
		
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			there any buddy who has twins in
their family or is a twin in this
		
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			room? Right sometimes, you know,
twins, some of them, yes,
		
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			physically, they're identical. And
they may even act the same way but
		
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			other times you find twins, who
have completely different
		
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			The personality. So all of these
mysteries are really what the aim
		
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			of this science aims to, or aims
to try to clarify. So if you look
		
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			back, the history of the origins
of it goes as far back as ancient
		
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			Egypt or Mesopotamia. And it was
directly linked to the theory of
		
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			the four elements, this idea that
there aren't, you know, air,
		
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			water, fire and earth are the four
elements, and that human beings
		
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			are somehow connected to these
elements. So if we fast forward,
		
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			Hippocrates, who was the father of
modern Western medicine, he came
		
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			along and he took these theories
and he began to adapt them into
		
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			his own medical practice, he
started looking at people and he
		
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			saw that after examining their
bodies, he saw that every single
		
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			human being has the presence of
four basic fluids or what he
		
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			called humors. And they are phlegm
blood, yellow bile and black bile.
		
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			And he theorized that if you had
either an excess of or a lack of
		
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			one of these substances, that it
would actually motivate your mood,
		
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			your behavior, your emotion. So
this is what he theorized. And
		
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			then you fast forward after him,
Galen, another Greek physician
		
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			came along, and he took
		
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			Hippocrates theories. And he added
on to that even more by actually
		
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			creating a typography he divided
the the the four temperaments into
		
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			two categories. Again, connecting
with the theory of the elements.
		
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			He said that hot, dry, cold and
wet, and then he gave them names,
		
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			and we're gonna go over those
names today. The names are
		
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			choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic,
and melancholic. So this basically
		
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			means is that every single human
being is going to identify with
		
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			one of these temperaments more
than the others. And there's a
		
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			there's a primary temperament that
you'll identify with. And then a
		
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			secondary. Now Modern medicine has
abandoned this theory altogether.
		
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			Medical field but in other fields,
like psychology, education, and
		
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			even in religious studies, it's
still applied today. So the first
		
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			one. So when you think of the
choleric temperament, the animal
		
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			that you want to think about is a
lion. Because what do we think
		
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			about when we think of a lion, we
think of the king of the jungle,
		
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			right? They're natural leaders. So
a choleric temperament is someone
		
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			who has a natural leader, they're
assertive. They're extroverts.
		
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			They're reactionary, they aren't
rational, and they're not very
		
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			emotionally expressive. And their
motto is we like to have it our
		
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			way. So if you're a choleric, and
you're this is probably speaking
		
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			your language. If you're a
sanguine, which is the next
		
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			temperament, you are the golden
retriever, and again, and you
		
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			think of a golden retriever, the
friendliest dog out there and
		
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			really sweet. They are the
popular, sociable, amiable,
		
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			temperament. They love people,
they love large groups, they love
		
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			to laugh. They're usually the life
of the party. They're optimistic.
		
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			They're also extroverts, and
they're reactionary. And their
		
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			motto is we like to be popular.
		
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			Then we have the phlegmatic
temperament. And these are the
		
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			otters. Okay, so think of the
otter, they're introverts. They're
		
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			not very reactionary. They're
emotionally expressive. They like
		
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			to analyze people, they're usually
very humble, timid people. They
		
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			like harmony. They're flexible.
And their motto is, we like it
		
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			peaceful and calm. So again, you
might know that is someone who,
		
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			who reminds you of that
temperament. And the last one is
		
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			the melancholic. And this is the
beaver of the group. So you want
		
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			to think of a beaver. And what do
they do? Beavers are always
		
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			building they need to create. So
these they're introverts. They're
		
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			non reactionary, but they're very
focused, they're diligent, they
		
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			need to get things done, they're
disciplined and organized. We all
		
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			have someone like that in our
life, right? Who just will come
		
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			and fix things in your house that
are out, you know, that are the
		
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			frames on the wall. Towels need to
be lined up correctly. So that's
		
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			the melancholic they'd like order.
And their motto is we like it done
		
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			the right way. So by now, I'm sure
you might, you know, feel that you
		
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			do read one of these temperaments.
You feel something or leaning
		
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			towards it, which but if you're
still unsure, the quickest way to
		
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			determine what you are is two
things. First, you want to ask, Am
		
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			I an introvert or an extrovert?
And we should all at this point in
		
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			our lives know what we are? And
after that, you want to find out
		
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			how react how do I react to
things? What is the duration of my
		
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			reaction? So do you let things go
easily? Or do you hold on? So if
		
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			you are someone who is a
reactionary person, you react
		
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			quickly to something if someone
comes in your face and they get
		
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			upset? You're like, oh, I don't
think so. And you just can get
		
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			right back in their face. And you
will then X that person out of
		
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			your life, you're probably a
choleric, like, I'm done with you.
		
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			But if you're in their face right
away, and then five minutes later,
		
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			you feel bad. Oh my god, I'm so
sorry. Can I take you out? Let's
		
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			go for coffee ice cream. What do
you want? You're probably a
		
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			sanguine, you're very worried
about you know, hurting people. So
		
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			that's a reactionary person. If
you're not reactionary, someone
		
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			upsets you, but you take your time
to respond. Maybe you send a text
		
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			message three days later, you
really hurt my feelings, you know,
		
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			but I still
		
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			Love you, then you're probably a
phlegmatic and if if, again,
		
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			someone gets in your face but you
don't react quickly and you hold
		
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			grudges, and then five years
later, you're telling them that
		
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			time that you did this to me you
really hurt me you're probably a
		
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			melancholic. So these are the ways
to know what you are. And I hope
		
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			that this information leads to
what it did for me, which is
		
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			really more understanding about
myself and my personal
		
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			relationships. And I hope that
this is a springboard moment for
		
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			all of you and you will dive into
this topic even more on your own.
		
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			Thank you so much.