Hosai Mojaddidi – The Four Temperaments

I met my husband in 2006. And we were married about a year later,

we had the typical long distance courtship because I was in the Bay

Area, and he was here, which meant we had to rely on phone calls,

texts, emails to really get to know each other. This was when

Facebook was really in its infancy. And I don't even think

Twitter and Instagram or anywhere around smartphones had, I think

just emerged into the market, we couldn't afford them anyway. So

believe it or not, it might be hard for some of you, especially

the youth to understand what our form of a selfie was actually

introducing ourselves to each other. We didn't, you know, do

that.

Now, for those of you who know, my husband, you know that we are very

different. And actually, we get that all the time, like, Oh, you

guys are so different. We are, we're very different. And we are

the classic opposites attract sort of a couple

100. And we're also very similar in many ways, which is why we're

together. But the differences between us really came apparent to

me, during the very first year of our marriage, in the first few

months, you know, those delicate honeymoon that held the honeymoon

phase. But in those first three months, I remember we had attended

a lecture. Similar to this, I think it was in a hall. I don't

know if it was here at Chapman, but it was in another university.

And I remember we had we know, we didn't get to really interact much

during the actual talk. So I, as soon as we finished and we got

into the car, I was just so excited. I had, I hadn't heard a

lot of the speakers before, and there was so much is rushing

through my mind. And I tend to do this, he still complains that I

you know, kind of bombard him all at once. Because as you can tell,

I'm talkative, I can be boisterous. And so I was just so

excited and enthusiastic about everything that when I looked over

at him, he was, you know, just not really as engaged or he seemed a

little disconnected. And of course, I did what all girls do,

we took it personally, I took it personally. But I thought you know

something's wrong, or you know, he just didn't like the talk. And I

just started letting my mind kind of getting carried away. And in

his defense, he was focused, he was driving, you know, changing

lanes, finding the freeway, and we all know the issue with men and

multitasking, but we won't go there. So it wasn't his fault.

And, you know, he instantly noticed my mood changed. So a few

minutes later, he asked Is everything okay? No. And he wanted

to know, and again, you know, it's very early in our marriage, I

didn't want to cause a problem. So kind of played it down. But we did

eventually talk about it. And I realized I had completely misread

him entirely. Here, I thought that there something you know,

happened, he just wasn't as excited about the program as I

was, when in fact, it was just a mirror, you know, difference in

how we express our enthusiasm and our excitement I as we already

mentioned, you know, animated and more expressive, he's more and a

little subdued, reflective, and it takes time for him. So that was

really, for me what I call a springboard moment because I had

always, I've always been fascinated about human behavior.

And I've done all the personalized personality tests you can think of

I've looked, dabbled into this and that, but I wanted to know, what

does Islam have to say about personality differences, there

must be something out there. So I just, you know, after this point,

I contacted one of my teachers. And sure enough, he directed me to

something that I had never heard of before, which is the science of

humanism, or the four temperaments, which inshallah

we're going to get into. But before we get into that, this, I

wanted to know what, you know, what is the aim of this particular

science? And really, it is to answer this old age question that

we have, you know, that has perplexed humanity for centuries,

which is what motivates human behavior, you know, the argument

or the debate of nature versus nurture? What is it? Are we born

with certain innate qualities that we really can't control? Is it

environment solely? Is it both? Because if we looked at any group,

I mean, if we had a survey right now, of every single person here,

and we had a scenario, maybe, you know, someone trips or falls with

some incident happens, there would be different responses and

different reactions from every single person in this group. And

of course, we'd see patterns, right? Because there's a there is

a pattern to the way that we interact with each other and the

way that we react with one another. And even within the same

family. Interesting enough, you can have siblings, right? I come

from a family of five or five siblings. We're very different in

our personality. So you can have people who are raised in under the

same household with the same parenting same set of values. But

why is it that their temperaments or dispositions or personalities

are different? And even studies have shown identical twins? Are

there any buddy who has twins in their family or is a twin in this

room? Right sometimes, you know, twins, some of them, yes,

physically, they're identical. And they may even act the same way but

other times you find twins, who have completely different

The personality. So all of these mysteries are really what the aim

of this science aims to, or aims to try to clarify. So if you look

back, the history of the origins of it goes as far back as ancient

Egypt or Mesopotamia. And it was directly linked to the theory of

the four elements, this idea that there aren't, you know, air,

water, fire and earth are the four elements, and that human beings

are somehow connected to these elements. So if we fast forward,

Hippocrates, who was the father of modern Western medicine, he came

along and he took these theories and he began to adapt them into

his own medical practice, he started looking at people and he

saw that after examining their bodies, he saw that every single

human being has the presence of four basic fluids or what he

called humors. And they are phlegm blood, yellow bile and black bile.

And he theorized that if you had either an excess of or a lack of

one of these substances, that it would actually motivate your mood,

your behavior, your emotion. So this is what he theorized. And

then you fast forward after him, Galen, another Greek physician

came along, and he took

Hippocrates theories. And he added on to that even more by actually

creating a typography he divided the the the four temperaments into

two categories. Again, connecting with the theory of the elements.

He said that hot, dry, cold and wet, and then he gave them names,

and we're gonna go over those names today. The names are

choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, and melancholic. So this basically

means is that every single human being is going to identify with

one of these temperaments more than the others. And there's a

there's a primary temperament that you'll identify with. And then a

secondary. Now Modern medicine has abandoned this theory altogether.

Medical field but in other fields, like psychology, education, and

even in religious studies, it's still applied today. So the first

one. So when you think of the choleric temperament, the animal

that you want to think about is a lion. Because what do we think

about when we think of a lion, we think of the king of the jungle,

right? They're natural leaders. So a choleric temperament is someone

who has a natural leader, they're assertive. They're extroverts.

They're reactionary, they aren't rational, and they're not very

emotionally expressive. And their motto is we like to have it our

way. So if you're a choleric, and you're this is probably speaking

your language. If you're a sanguine, which is the next

temperament, you are the golden retriever, and again, and you

think of a golden retriever, the friendliest dog out there and

really sweet. They are the popular, sociable, amiable,

temperament. They love people, they love large groups, they love

to laugh. They're usually the life of the party. They're optimistic.

They're also extroverts, and they're reactionary. And their

motto is we like to be popular.

Then we have the phlegmatic temperament. And these are the

otters. Okay, so think of the otter, they're introverts. They're

not very reactionary. They're emotionally expressive. They like

to analyze people, they're usually very humble, timid people. They

like harmony. They're flexible. And their motto is, we like it

peaceful and calm. So again, you might know that is someone who,

who reminds you of that temperament. And the last one is

the melancholic. And this is the beaver of the group. So you want

to think of a beaver. And what do they do? Beavers are always

building they need to create. So these they're introverts. They're

non reactionary, but they're very focused, they're diligent, they

need to get things done, they're disciplined and organized. We all

have someone like that in our life, right? Who just will come

and fix things in your house that are out, you know, that are the

frames on the wall. Towels need to be lined up correctly. So that's

the melancholic they'd like order. And their motto is we like it done

the right way. So by now, I'm sure you might, you know, feel that you

do read one of these temperaments. You feel something or leaning

towards it, which but if you're still unsure, the quickest way to

determine what you are is two things. First, you want to ask, Am

I an introvert or an extrovert? And we should all at this point in

our lives know what we are? And after that, you want to find out

how react how do I react to things? What is the duration of my

reaction? So do you let things go easily? Or do you hold on? So if

you are someone who is a reactionary person, you react

quickly to something if someone comes in your face and they get

upset? You're like, oh, I don't think so. And you just can get

right back in their face. And you will then X that person out of

your life, you're probably a choleric, like, I'm done with you.

But if you're in their face right away, and then five minutes later,

you feel bad. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Can I take you out? Let's

go for coffee ice cream. What do you want? You're probably a

sanguine, you're very worried about you know, hurting people. So

that's a reactionary person. If you're not reactionary, someone

upsets you, but you take your time to respond. Maybe you send a text

message three days later, you really hurt my feelings, you know,

but I still

Love you, then you're probably a phlegmatic and if if, again,

someone gets in your face but you don't react quickly and you hold

grudges, and then five years later, you're telling them that

time that you did this to me you really hurt me you're probably a

melancholic. So these are the ways to know what you are. And I hope

that this information leads to what it did for me, which is

really more understanding about myself and my personal

relationships. And I hope that this is a springboard moment for

all of you and you will dive into this topic even more on your own.

Thank you so much.