Hosai Mojaddidi – Qur’anic Parenting Lessons & Stories in the Quran (Part 2)
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim. Welcome to Quranic parenting. Last
week we began our first session of the series on intentional
parenting, right? Because with all as with all things, we have to
have the right intention, right. And so even with our parenting
journey, we have to really confront and and come to terms
with what are our intentions with wanting to be parents. And so we
spent a lot of time exploring that. But first, we looked at what
parenting today looks like, right? Because parenthood, of course, in
our society, today is very different than the ideals of what
our deen teaches us or aspires to us to write. So we want to examine
that what we're dealing with, right, so we went through some of
the trends that we're seeing with people delaying marriage, as well
as motherhood, right, so a lot of women because of the opportunities
afforded to them, now, they're delaying this part of their life
until, you know, their mid 30s or later, and then just some
experiences of the pressures that both women and men feel in terms
of managing, you know, the parenting, whether they're doing
it as a couple in a nuclear, you know, traditional family or single
parents, but each gender does have some, some pressures that are
unique to them. And so just kind of exploring some of the data
there. And then we also talked about how, and the reason why it's
so different is because we are in a time where a lot of things are
being redefined, right, gender roles, you know, the institutions
of marriage, what what it even looks like. Now, in this society
is very, again, different than what it always has been
traditional, because you'll find different types of families or
family units or marriages, marriage unions. And so we want to
really be aware of what we're up against, of course, the economics
and behind why people marry. The goals and objectives of families
and couples are also different. In some cases. In many cases, I
should say, cultural shifts and attitudes towards, for example,
premarital relations and monogamous relationships are also
very different than what it was in the past. And then the importance
of having partners that have either the same or similar
religious affiliation and commitment, right to those
conservative values is also different. You find a lot of
people now marrying, sometimes not only people who are not
necessarily on the same wavelength or path. But even outside of the
face, it's more and more common. So these are things we have to be
aware of. And then we talked about the importance of when we talk
about intentionality, that there are two mindsets that you have in
all things, right. And everybody in the world is one of these two
minds. You're either thinking in worldly terms, whether it's
parenting, or marriage, or or anything else, or you're thinking
and other worldly terms, right. So when it comes to parenting, the
mindsets are, you're you're focused on worldly parenting with
that, and we kind of explore what that means. And then what other
worldly parenting is, is, of course, you're, you're setting
your sights on the next world on what will get you there. So
parenting becomes a means to that end, whereas the worldly parenting
is more focused on, you know, just the benefits of coming together,
having a family having children, and you get really caught up in
that right. And so, I also just reminded everyone of the cost of
parenting today, that it's quite expensive. I'm sorry. So according
to one study, $233,000.06 102 or $610, to raise one child today,
right? This is from 2015. So it's probably even more now with all
the inflation costs and costs of food and gas and clothing and
everything right. So we're, it's very difficult for many people to
have children because of this reason.
And just to bring it back to that point of worldly versus
otherworldly. A lot of times people get caught up in the
experience of being pregnant or having the, you know, the baby
pictures and the newborn phase because that is a phase that is
fun, right? There's, there's a celebratory aspect of, obviously,
bringing in a new life, but having a lot of celebration around that.
So people will get caught up in that. But then they don't think
that that child will grow and you are then responsible for making
sure that it is provided for in every sense of the word, but
spiritually, most importantly, that you have to raise it with the
values with that it can maintain its religious identity. And that's
a lot of work for parents. So we have to look beyond just this
commercialization of parenting that we unfortunately see
everywhere around us. And then, you know, a reminder about the
fact that it is our duty right parenting isn't a manner it's our
responsibility.
To make sure that we raise our children on Fidra otherwise they
will stray and this is the the task before us as parents are
really having the understanding of what it means to have the other
worldly lens is that you realize the objective is to raise
inshallah the next generation of believers. And that will be your
means to paradise insha Allah. And so, you know, the intentional, you
know, the questions that we have to ask ourselves when we want to
be intentional about parenting is why do I want to become a parent?
How do I plan to prepare for parenthood, mashallah, I had a
sister earlier in our Likud, she's single, and she said she's not
married, but she asked if she could stay. And I told her, You
are the shining example that I always like to show people that
yes, when you are attending these types of events, whether it's
parenting or marriage, without you know, in preparation, you are
actually doing it right. We all should have been doing that. We
all should have been sitting into these types of classes, long
before we ever got our selves in a marital or you know, parenting
role, because the preparation is so necessary, it's so necessary to
do that preparatory work. And then when do I plan to get started?
Right, so asking these questions, we talked a lot about what a
parent is and what it isn't. So I mentioned that it's an Amanda,
it's a trust from God. It's a sunnah obviously, the prophesy
centum he had children, it's a gift parenting is a gift there. We
mentioned also, in the previous vicar that we had, one of the
sisters reminded us to make the offer those who wish to have
children, because there are many who are struggling with
infertility. And they, they really want this gift of parent to be a
parent. And so when you have it, you have to see that Allah gave
you preferred you in for this role. And it is an immense,
immense gift as well as in a manner. And then it's also also
going to be a test of faith, because as the last one, it tells
us that he will try us He will test us through our children,
right. And so you will have times where things are going to be
difficult. It comes part, it's part and parcel of being a parent.
And what parenting isn't, is this rite of passage that has to happen
just because you're married, because if that's what you think,
then you're not doing it for the greater goals of wanting to please
us by that you're just doing it because your family is pressuring
you, right? Your mom is asking you, your grandma's asking you and
your limited understanding is well, I just have to get chill, I
have to have children, just like I had to get married. Now, you see
that that's a very flat, lacking lackluster intention. It's just
like, I'm just doing something, because it's custom. But we have
to be better about our intentions, right? Avoiding the criticism of
family or society or community is not a reason to have children is
because you want to raise good, you know, believers, and you want
to be a part of that. And that's the the intention you have to come
at it with. And then it's also not just for fun and games, right. As
we mentioned earlier, the celebratory sort of excitement
around children or marriage is often what we get caught up in.
But that is not the purpose of it. It's the wedding is not the
purpose of a marriage. And neither is the baby shower, a purpose of
parenting, right. It's also not a way to exploit oneself or family.
So if you're having children so that they can continue the family
business, and you can use them for free labor out of the blood,
certainly not, you know, a good intention.
And it's also not a way to parade your children around just as
little extensions of you because sometimes parents think of their
children as their property. And you know, I want a good image in
front of people. So I'm going to have multiple children just so
that I can show how cute my kids are, how well behaved, they are
their model children, they go to school, they finish the report,
and by the age of seven, I am gonna throw them a party and we
just make it all the spectacle, which is look at me, I'm such a
great person. I have such beautiful, amazing children. Look
at me, look at me, these are the wrong intentions. It has to be for
the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. And we talked about the importance
of having a parental vow, right, which we, because it's Quranic
parenting, we're going back to the Quran to see these things modeled
for us. So we mentioned had been proposed, who is the mother of our
mother, Mother Mother has said, and how she literally made a vow
to Allah subhanaw taala that she whatever was in her womb, that she
was offering it in the service of Allah subhanaw taala that is
intentional parenting that is a perfect example of someone who
understands that when a child is, you know, Allah has blessed you
with a child, that your mind should not be about how you're
going to benefit from this child in this life, but rather that that
child grows up to to know Allah subhanaw taala and is on the right
path and is a is is an agent of guidance for others of light and
worships ALLAH SubhanA as he so deserves that that is the
intention. Right? And so she made that beautiful intention. And then
we also talked about the prayer because our doors are very
important and we sometimes do
Forget, there's a lot of anxiety in parenting today. I know because
I talk to a lot of parents. And the anxiety is always directed
towards other people. Do you know someone, I can ask for this? Is
there a therapist is there this? I need help with my child with this.
And we're always looking at the worldly means of how to address a
lot of our fears. But then when you ask, okay, I understand you're
worried about your child's behavior, their friends, you know,
whether or not their their deen is strong. But what are you doing in
terms of spiritually addressing those concerns, right, if you're
just picking up the phone and calling and trying to network, but
then you're not waking up in the middle of the night, right. And
this goes for the mothers and the fathers, we have to get up. And we
have to ask the only one who can actually change our children's
situation, whether it's a health issue, a mental health issue, a
behavioral issue, whatever it is, the only one who can actually
bring about the change you're seeking is Allah subhanaw taala.
So you cannot bypass Allah and then go through everyone else,
right? You have to get up. And the your real sincerity of concern is
shown by how much you seek ALLAH subhanaw taala. Because otherwise,
it's lip service. Oh, I'm so worried about my kids. If you're
worried about your kids, show, you're worried Get up. Don't
compromise your sleep. Right? Show us panda. I'm really stressed out
about my children's guidance, y'all please guide them, please
guide them, please guide them and also make good choices for them.
Right, which we're gonna get to today in session two, this is just
a summary. But it's so important that we really use the means that
Allah's Prophet has given us the promises and reminded us that the
DA is the weapon of the believer. So if you're battling demons, then
take out your weapons, right and use them which are your daughters.
We talked about parental self reflection, it's very important
that we, we, of course, have those high expectations, and we work
towards them. But we also remember that outcomes, we don't control,
right, it's very important to have that pause to say, Okay, I'm
trying my best, I'm doing everything, but at the end of the
day, they belong to Allah subhanho data. And I can only do my best
when you have prophets. And that's why we have the Stories of the
Prophets, to remind us like Prophet alayhi salam, who we know
struggled because his son literally disobeyed him and did
not believe. And that was a struggle for a prophet of God.
Right? So if he, you know, had to face this, this reality that
outcomes are only decreed by Allah, then certainly we do as
well. And we have to submit Now that doesn't mean we stop praying,
and we get we become resigned. No, it just means that at a certain
point, you know, what you can do and what you can't do, but hold
yourself accountable, right, hold yourself accountable. And this is
again, where constantly going back to, you know, asking for Allah's
father to guide you to surrender to his decree, and also asking for
those things that you want with clarity be very descriptive in
your daughter's, you know, just to do general does Allah protect my
children? Yes, but how? What do you mean by that? Protect them
from what harms? Do you know, the harms? Are you aware of all the
harms show that you really are, like, Be explicit as possible in
your doors, because that will give you again, that sense of ownership
of your responsibility as a parent, but also connects you to
the fact that Allah's father was the only one who can help you. So
make sure making sure to do that. And these are all from the
examples again, from the Quran, that we that we can learn from. So
inshallah really important to,
to know that. So this is the summary and again, you know, you
can go back and watch the first video from last week to get more
in depth discussion on all of those things. I'm just summarizing
before we get into today's discussion. So these are the
points of the summary that you can go ahead and if you want to just
screenshot or take, and then we'll go ahead and begin for session
two. So
as I mentioned, we start, obviously, with intentionality.
And now that we've inshallah aligned ourselves with the proper
intentions, we need to look at the target and the target is the best
of examples the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he is enough for
us to know how to parent effectively if we learn his
methodology, His ways, His teachings, his words, we will
inshallah become effective parents if we abandon his ways and take
our own ways our mom our mother's ways, our fathers ways, our
grandparents ways, our culture's ways, we will struggle so that's
really as simple as we can, you know, state that the province was
Saddam is the best example. So now, what does that mean? Well,
here is a Hadith that is often related when we talk about
marriage where the prophesy centum is teaching us about how to
approach parenting right and he reminds us a lot cooler camera and
we're colloquium Missoula and Andre at each of you, every one of
you is a shepherd and his response to
for his or her flock, and then he goes into the details of what that
means, right? The leader of a people. So the general community
leader or leader of a nation is a guardian and is responsible for
his or her subjects. A man is the guardian of his family, and he is
responsible for them. So the wording matters here, because
family is not specified to just wife and children. He also has his
parents, his siblings, other people that he also is responsible
for. And sometimes women need to be reminded of that, right? That
he is responsible for all of the, you know, maintaining all of that.
And so sometimes you have to let him go, right, let him tend to
other family needs. And it's difficult, but it's a good
reminder for us. And then the woman is the guardian of her
husband's home, and his children, and she is responsible for them.
So this is why we say that the domain of the house and the way
the house is run the household, the the culture that's in the
household is the domain of women, right, she should be allowed to
really dictate and to lead Inshallah, of course, with her
husband there to support her. But this is where running a household
effectively, because the woman is likely doing a lot of that
management anyway should be her domain. And she can flourish in
that responsibility as a leader, because a shepherd is a leadership
role, right. So he's delineating all of the ways that we are
leading independently. And then the servant of a man is a guardian
of the property of his master, and he's responsible for it. No doubt,
every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his or her
flock. And I love this because even though it's not mentioned
here, when we are talking to our children about these types of
messages from our prophesy setup, that last line matters, because if
we want to empower children, we want children with strong Muslim
identities, we have to also imbue in them this understanding that
they also are called to leadership roles. So give your children
responsibility early on, let them flourish as leaders in their own
way with between their siblings, as they're teaching them or
cousins or other friends, give them responsibility early, don't
coddle them because when we overly coddled children, we, we then
create these imbalances and these co dependencies that they don't
know how to find their their voice or their you know, their their the
roll that of leadership that that is expected of them. If you look
at the theater, the prophesy Saddam was because he was the most
emotionally intelligent human being ever he made space for all
of the community members, everyone felt heard and listened to and
felt that they had a role in that community. He would even seek out
the youth and give them leadership roles for that reason. So what
about us in our households? When we say no, no, and especially when
it comes to, you know, some of our cultures where there's a major
disparity between how, you know, some genders are treated versus
others. So you will find a lot of the young girls in many households
in many cultures, doing a lot of the work and taking on a lot of
responsibility helping their parents, but then there's a double
standard when it comes to boys, right? No, no, that's their boys,
let them go out and do other things. But not girls work, right?
Not not the housework. This is completely anti. So now the
prophesy Saddam was known to wash his own dishes meant his own
clothes help in the household. So what are we saying when we are,
you know, creating this, this disparity and, and teaching our
boys that to to help in the house is not something becoming of a
young boy, and he should just be out, but the girls have to do at
all this is wrong. And that's why we don't know these things. And
obviously, we're going to pass on these. These just, you know, just
wrong messages and feel the effects of that as the resentment
between in our in our children grows, because it's not a it's not
a fair system, right. So that's just a side note, but this hadith,
I love because when you think of a shepherd, right, look at this
picture. This picture is a beautiful picture of a shepherd
and look how he is overlooking his flock. And he has some tools
around him, right? He's holding his staff, which is the crook.
This is a very important tool that shepherds use, because it gives
them the ability to do what, first of all, it serves as an extended
arm. Okay, so look at the amount of in this image anyway, there's
several animals. So for him to be able to show the boundaries for
his flock, he has to have an extended arm and that's where the
crook can also the staff of the shepherd can come in place. He
extends his arm this way and the sheep know, to go this way. Right.
So that tells us that one of the important parts of parenting is
that we have to have reach, we have to know how to reach our
children, which means communication if we don't have
strong
your communication skills, then we will not know how to reach them,
we won't, they won't listen to us just the same way as if he's
trying to get their attention. And he's waving his, his arms, but
they can't see it, it's because he's not using the tools at his
disposal to actually get the message across, which is don't go
there or go here, right. So that's the shepherd, it's on the shepherd
to know how to communicate. The other important thing that it does
is also gives him control, right, so he's reaching them through
communication, but also that sense of control, because yes, there are
boundaries that he's supposed to be protecting the flock from. So
that's the other parenting tool that we need to have, we have to
be able to also make sure that we create, you know, that we have
that stability and safety, and that we're showing control as
parents, right. So we have to have the reach, we have to have the
control. And the last, which is, you know, the the part of the the
top part of the staff has a crook. It's like a cricket sort of bent
over a park. And that's intentional, because when the
animal falls, for example, into a ditch or somewhere that it
shouldn't go to, you can imagine these animals are quite heavy,
right. And so for a shepherd to not be able to help the animal up
right to get out of that dangerous situation, then it would perish.
So immediately, that crook can be used to take put it either around
the neck of the animal or around the ankle, or whatever is lodged.
And so the shepherd can pull the animal out to safety, right. So
that safety that control that reach, these are the three main
tools that parents have to have and learn from the example of a
shepherd. And so you know, we mentioned this one, you know, tool
that that is at his disposal. But then there are other things that
the shepherd also does in order to make this happen. First of all,
who, you know, if I don't know how many of you have ever been on a
farm or know any shepherds personally, but if you know that
life, you know that they have to wake up early, right? You cannot
effectively lead a flock anywhere and take care of them if you're
going to sleep it right because they are on a different schedule,
they animals tend to wake up, you know, with with the sunrise and
they have their own needs that need to be met. So you have to be
ahead. So a lot of people who live these types of homestead lives or
shepherding lives, they will be awake very early. Now how does
that relate to parenting? That translates to we have to be ahead,
right? We cannot be
totally oblivious to what's going on in the world of children, just
like a shepherd cannot be oblivious to the needs of his
flock. So you have to be reading, you have to know what's going on
in their world, what's happening at school, if especially,
especially if you're sending your children to public school, that is
so critical that you know what's happening in their classroom, who
their teachers are, what are the philosophies of that teacher,
because you will when you're witnessing it right now, it's like
a takeover of our educational system, there are people with
agendas literally trying to bring in and indoctrinate our children
with their own ideas. And if you don't know that, and if you don't
know how to even be aware of that, or how to handle that situation,
then you're gonna get yourself in trouble. Because your children
will be in these classes for 810 hours a day learning things that
are antithetical to your faith and your culture and your home life.
And that influence is going to increase over time. So we have to
be ahead, we have to know what's going on at school, we have to
know what's going on with their friends groups, who are they
talking to what kind of friends listen in on some of their
discussions, it's okay, this whole idea of, oh, I have to respect my
children's privacy, to what end if especially if you don't know the
quality of their friends, you're going to let them go into their
rooms, closed doors and have no idea what they're talking about.
This is wrong, open door policies, especially when they're young,
they shouldn't be closing off. Why? What are you talking about
that, that someone else, if they passed by it would be, you know,
wrong, or you would feel
uncomfortable with that. So these are the types of rules if we
implement them in our house at an early when they're young, then
it'll be very normal for them. So you know, making sure that we know
what's going on. Also in the world of, of social media, a lot of
parents give their kids these devices, not realizing that these
devices are more dangerous than weapons. They are more dangerous
than weapons. Right? If you if you would, you couldn't even think of
giving your child an actual gun with bullets loaded. But you would
happily give them a device without any supervision, no parental
controls, know even, you know, time like management where it's
like, oh, they could just have it, it's fine. Then it's the same as
just telling them here play with this gun. It's fine. It's actually
worse, I should say
Because what this exposes them to is a slow and painful death, it's
you know, whereas a weapon is instantaneous, this is slow death
of the soul, when they're exposed to the evil that can come from
this, this thing. So we have to be very careful about making sure
that we know what is going on and that we're ahead, right. So the
shepherd, again, going back to this model, wakes up early, gets
their food prepared. And also, the shepherd knows the boundaries of
where to go. So you, as a parent have to know those boundaries.
That's where that again, control region safety comes into play. And
that staff, by the way, is also used to test the grounds. So I
know, for example, parents, some parents, I'm just gonna mention
this, because I know there is this in my generation Generation X,
there are some parents who are there, maybe like Luddites, which
are people who are like anti technology, they're just not
really interested, right. And if you have that attitude, I
understand personally, you don't need to be on social media, you
don't need to have a single presence. But that does not
absolve you of the responsibility of knowing what is on social
media, you get it, you don't have to have a presence, you don't have
to be active, but you should know what's happening in the world of
social media. And so that is where that staff of testing the ground
before the flock, you know, goes is an essential role of the
shepherd because he has to make sure it's not quicksand, you know,
or it's not a slippery slope that they're gonna fall slide and to
their end. So this is where we as parents have to really take this
analogy of the shepherd to heart and learn from it. And remember,
we are responsible ultimately.
Now, I love this because this goes to this is sorry, this is
based on this quote up here at the top of vessel only pours out what
it contains, is actually from a famous story from St. Nisa, Allah,
you sit down that we have where he was once with his disciples, and
He walked by a group of men, and those men cursed him. Okay, so
he's with his disciples, they cursed him. And he responds with
Da,
you know, said I want a more greeting, a beautiful greeting. So
his disciples are shocked, like, why would you do that they cursed
you? You know, they didn't understand. And his response was
this, a vessel only pours out what it contains. This is so beautiful,
because if we all understood this, and we understood for ourselves,
first and foremost, to really manage our vessels, right, our
hearts, our bodies, our minds, and to make sure that we're careful of
what we are consuming, and what we're putting into it, then we can
have that same understanding when it comes to our children and
realize, I want my children to have the purest right? of vessels.
And how can I do that as parents? So why is this image so powerful?
I use this image a lot, especially when I talk to youth, because I
will say to them, tell me what you see here. So any guesses? What do
we see here? You guys, what are these glasses of? Of what?
Okay, you've listened to my talks before anyone else. So I get
answers like tea. Some even say beer. I don't know why they know
that. But okay, coke, you know, the coffee, they'll throw out all
of these answers. And I'm like, good, good, Keep coming, keep
coming. And then they're mortified when I tell them, actually, this
is from a water treatment facility. These are all different
cups of water that have obviously, there's contaminated water here,
right? So they test levels of different water sources. So why is
this such a powerful image because we're all human beings, we're all
here with the same opportunities to know Allah subhana wa, tada,
we're all here. And yes, we will have different struggles and
different tests in our life. But we ultimately choose what we
consume, right? What we take in every one of us has the same
freewill right to choose good versus, you know, evil in every
instance. And so if we're not cognizant of that, then you know,
we want obviously all of us Inshallah, we want to be that
first cup on the right, clear, pure, you know, untainted, but
because we're not paying attention to what we're consuming, we ended
up taking in a little bit here. It's okay, a little bit here. It's
okay. Oh, um, I'm not going to read the Quran today. But I'm
gonna go and, you know, watch a Netflix series and waste my brain
cells. Okay. Well, you do that over time, and it's going to turn
into that dark drink at the end, right? Whereas Allah Spano was
always calling us to his remembrance and to do good works,
and to really think about how can I polish this vessel of mine
because I'm accumulating sins all the time, but we have to be
mindful of that and then when we are mindful of our own vessels,
then inshallah we can
have that as part of our parenting as well, which is really
essential.
So
here are the prophetic principles back to that shepherding model
that we want to think about. And the reason why again, that image I
wanted you to hold it is because you have to be a person of
character, before you demand it of others, you cannot be a person of
low character and then expect that your children are gonna have high
character. But there are a lot of people who curse, who lie, who use
raise their voice, who are, you know, who do not have good
character who are impatient, who explode, but then they want model
children. Right? I want my children to be perfect, it doesn't
work that way. So when we say you have to be a leader, you have to
be responsible, we are saying you have to do it first and then your
children will learn from you. You have to be knowledgeable, you have
to know your deen. There are a lot of parents who don't invest in
their own knowledge of Deen. They don't study Aqeedah or fic, or
Quran, they don't know how to read the book of Allah subhanaw taala
they will not invest in themselves, but they will bring
their kids to the Sunday school and pay the fees. And then, you
know, really get hard on them for why aren't you doing your work?
Why aren't you doing your work? But if it's time to read the Quran
with them, and they come to you, and you say, Oh, I don't know how
to read go to so and so.
How can you? How are you effective, you have to learn to be
able to model what you want from it for your children so that when
they see you doing it, then it's normal for them. But if they're
like, Oh, you don't even do it? Why should I do it? And then once
they get to the to the age of logic and reasoning, and being
able to talk back, they will come to you don't even do it? Why
should I do it?
Right? You don't? And that's in there? How can you defend that
argument. So you have to be knowledgeable, you also have to be
attentive, if you're always looking at your devices when
they're talking to you. Uh huh. And you know, we're all guilty of
this to a certain degree. But you have to have the presence to say,
Wait a second, my child has entered the space. And I have a
short time with them. And this is the heartbreaking thing about
parenting. If you've ever met anybody who's in the later stage,
where they're empty nesters, they cry for the years that they
neglected their children, because now they're alone. Now there's no
sounds in their home. Now there's no doors opening and closing. And
you know, all of those noises that children make the laughter It's
none of it, it's dead silence. And it's very uncomfortable for a lot
of people who are lonely and isolation. You know, there are
entire groups of people and areas in our world where people are,
there's a crisis of loneliness, because parents have children that
have left them and now they have nobody. So if we don't realize
that appreciate the value of our children when they come in, to our
space, and honestly, it's one of the most heartbreaking things and
I'm speaking as a mother, like when you watch your children,
suddenly, overnight, they're grown and you're like, Yeah, Allah, all
those years, when I could hold them, you know, I see some
precious babies here with us hold those children. And do not ever
forget that that will, it's not gonna last, and they're gonna grow
up and they're gonna go on their own path. And it's really hard,
but we have to be attentive, attentive to them. So when they
come to you, and they want to tell you a story, and you've heard it
1000 times before, or, or they're one of those, and then and then
and then and then it just never ends. It's hard because we have
things to do. But what like, Just give yourself pause and say, I
have to appreciate this, this joy that this child is presenting me
because a lot of the adults in the world have lost it. Our hearts
have just lost joy of Allah, we don't get excited about things
that are deserving to get excited, right. So when a child comes to
you, they're kind of they're an eye, they're a sign for you from
God, that look look at this child who can find joy in a leaf in a
rock in a pebble.
So be attentive. And that means put the phone away. Look at them.
Our eye, parental eye is so potent. We don't realize that our
children are hungry for our eye, they want to be seen they want to
know that we they matter and nobody can do that more than we
can. Nobody, nobody can can give them that. That that feeling of I
see you more than the parent. So be attentive. listen to their
stories answer their questions. Why mommy? Why daddy? Answer. be
in control right back to the shepherd model. You have to know
how to know the difference between authority right authoritarian
versus authoritative. Authoritarian is I have to raise
my voice to get something from you. I have to threaten you. I
have to take something away from you * it from your hands. If
you're doing that you have no control. You have no control.
You're forcing control. You are demanding
Respect, but you're not commanding it commanding respect, is having
management of your emotions, and speaking in a very direct voice so
that the child knows that you there's no option, right? If you
ask them to do something, you give them the instruction. And it's
not. You know, there's no debate. Because you're the authority,
you've established yourself as an authority. But if you're having to
debate every single time,
we've lost control. And so you have to go back to how can I
establish that communication? Because if the child doesn't feel
like they want to listen to you, maybe there's something that you
need to explore their Why Why don't you want to listen to me?
Are you upset with me? Is there some resentment you're holding?
Talk to me, let me know. So I can heal that wound? Because you're
you're coming at me with this aggression? No, no, well, there's
more to it. And if we actually probe a little bit, we might find
that they are holding on to some pain. So explore that and
communicate, be resilient. As we mentioned, you have to realize
you're not always going to be in control and you have to be able to
bear through the tough times and not fall apart. In sha Allah,
Allah is with you and your dogs are powerful. And remember, they
ultimately belong to Him. But don't fall apart just because you
have a crisis or a problem with your children. Turn to Allah
subhana wa, tada. Be compassionate children and youth, especially
teens need empathy, they need compassion from us more than they
need our demands and our threats and all those ultimatums they need
compassion and patience, and respect. children deserve to be
respected if they don't want to wear for example, a shirt. And you
are forcing them to wear it unless you know, there's a real reason.
You have to ask why maybe they feel and I know I have, you know,
I've seen this happen to some, some children are more sensitive
to certain fabrics, for example. So if they're telling you it's
itchy, I don't like it, please, then you have to find the
solution. Maybe wear an undershirt, but not to be like,
No, you must, because that's disrespecting the very basic need,
which is I am uncomfortable. And I don't want to go to this event for
five, six hours, miserable. Because you want me to look like a
little trophy kid. So respecting your children is meeting their
needs, are listening to what their needs are trying to meet them, but
actually wanting to hear what's the issue, not be quiet? What do
you know, out of the way, if so many people talk to young
children, or if they don't want to eat something, don't force them.
Sometimes, you know, some picky eaters I understand they might
like the attention of being the picky eater in the family. So you
kind of have to discern whether or not that's happening or if it's
really that they don't like something and work, you know,
navigate that conversation. Respectfully, be vigilant, be
consistent, be humble, all of these qualities we have to
possess, Inshallah, if we want to be effective parents, right. And
so how do we prepare for leadership? Well, you know, we
have to understand our self Well, our own needs, the needs of those
in our care, the needs, I'm sorry, we have to understand those in our
care and also their needs, the potential dangers and threats that
are out there, and how to prevent with proper measures. We have to
seek the help when necessary. Sometimes, you know, we we don't
seek help at all, which is a problem because we are a dean of
the CEA and we should seek out people with experience who can
help us but do it obviously in a way that is comfortable for you.
And ultimately, the most important thing that we do is we rely on
Allah subhanho wa Taala and submit to His will so constantly bringing
it back to Allah. Now, because we this is Puranic parenting and we
are talking about the province I sent him we need to now set our
sights on the on the on him right or on his blessing. countenance an
example for us. So the character of the prophesy centum, as was
described in many Hadith was likened to a walking Qur'an, right
when they got a hold of Denali and he had the greatest character,
right? The bra was awesome was described in the Quran directly in
chapter 68 four, verse four, as having the great, great character
so and then, of course, also reminds us as part of that also
reminds us that he has our example right in chapter 33, verse 21, and
that he SubhanAllah. In everything he did, right, every word he said
all of his concerns, his worries were for us, right? He wants our
success. And here in chapter nine, verse 128, almost father says,
There has certainly come to you an apostle from among yourselves,
Grievous to him is your distress so he is is you know
pained by our burdens Subhan Allah, he has a deep concern for
you, and his most kind and merciful to the faithful. So, you
know, think about that when you're again, looking at his example, in
his words, in his instructions, that it's all out of love, it's
out of concern. And that's where you know, where he's coming from
always when it comes to these things, and then the process is
the most gentle. So by again, all from the Quran is versus so by
mercy from Allah or Muhammad, you were lenient with them, right. And
if you had been rude and speech and harsh and heart, they would
have disbanded from about you. So just mentioning his beautiful
qualities that he was always lenient and gentle with people. So
this is our example. And if we don't see ourselves reflected in
anything here, if we don't have gentleness, we're not concerned,
we were kind of in our own worlds, self centered, egoistic, you know,
lives were very, very far from his example. And of course, character
is virtue. So you have to think about all the virtues that he
possessed. He was the most trustworthy, the most honest, the
most loving the most kind and was compassionate. He was always
empathic with everyone, and we'll get to that in a moment. But all
of these things are speak of his character. Also the descriptions
of him in the Hadith, so those are from the Quran. And here are the
Hadith that describe him, said I shouldn't she says, or I'm sorry,
Qatada, he said to say the Aisha Oh Mother of the Believers, tell
me about the character of the Messenger of Allah and she asked
him, Have you not read the Quran? I, of course, he says, and she
said, Verily, the character of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam was
the Quran. So he was the Quran again, walking, right?
How he honored his children or children in general, not only his
own children, but others as well. This is from Anas Ibn medic, he
said that the prophesy seven would pass by young boys and greet them
with peace. So you want to think about that? Do you do that? Do you
are children invisible to you other than your own. I feel like a
lot of us are just walking by our children. You see in this
community. Nobody wants to greet the children. And they just walk
right by because they see them as nuisances, we shoot children away
all the time. Go to the kids section. Why are you here? Or we
see
this and I always have to catch myself. Because we do this
reflexively. We'll see families will see our friends. Oh, so I
want to go home and the kids are just standing there. And nobody's
turning to the kids and I'm wanting to come how are you?
This was his sunnah to go down and talk to the children, meet them at
their eye level. Ask them questions, engage that make them
feel seen and heard. And imagine if we all did that to our
children, to each other's children, what a beautiful
community we had. But you have a lot of children who are invisible
to their own parents. And then they come to the community and
they're invisible to the community. So you think they're
not gonna want to be seen elsewhere? Of course, and that's
when the social media becomes something right. Let me go get an
Instagram, Tik Tok and then become infamous instafamous. Or let me go
and join other groups that do see me, right, because there are other
people who are well willing to welcome our kids in, fully embrace
them, but it comes with a price. Give up your deen, right? Don't be
Muslim, and you can be part of this club of inclusivity we're all
a family. Right? This is the message that they're getting
outside. So if we don't step up as a community and start seeing
children, and honoring them, the way our prophesies have taught us,
and we cannot complain when we find faith crises happening, or
them just not wanting to come to the machine anymore.
And this is a failure on us. Right? Because we're we've strayed
so far from his example. The process was also playful with
children, right? So he would play with Zainab, the daughter of M
selama. And he would even, like, have little cute phrases like, oh,
Jose, Jose, and I've just imagine him saying that to, you know, this
little girl and how special she felt that here's the Prophet of
Allah, you know, playing these little games with her. That's our,
that's our prophesy centum. So here's our example. And this is
not just for your own children, right? We have to be better when
we're with even children that are not our own. And then he was also
very loving and endearing. So there's many stories about the
promise of son with children, but one in particular is when this boy
who was called a boo man, when he lost his little sparrow, the
prophesy said, um, you know, really attended to him because he
lost his bird, his pet bird. So the suffering of you know,
children, even in these little things when their toy breaks,
right when they dropped their ice cream cone, their little hearts
broken over things that we might think are trivial, but if you
don't stop and empathize and show them some compassion in that
moment, then again, you're not following the prophesy system.
Because for some of you
people, especially those who are not from cultures where pets are
even kept. So what's the big deal? She's a bird. You know, there's
millions of birds. That's the kind of attitude a lot of people have
that's so harsh to tell a child that even if they had a bug, and
they love that bug Did you can't be like, Oh, it's a big deal. It's
just a little snail Oh, well, I got crushed. No, it may have had a
bond with that snail, maybe it was talking to the snail, maybe the
snail was a friend, or even with toys. So we have to be really
gentle when we're with children, as was his example. This is the,
again the character of the politician. This is prophetic
parenting.
More Hadith. This is from on us. So he says, I served the province
of Sam for 10 years. He's not his child. And he never said
of his what is the word that many of us say when we're frustrated
right off?
Of he didn't even say that. So imagine all of us were like, no,
no.
It's just automatic for some people. You know, and for no
reason. A lot of us have become so tyrannical that we have the most
arbitrary rules. today. You can watch a little bit of TV tomorrow.
No.
Why? Will you love me yesterday? No, I said, so. That is tyranny.
And that is so confusing to a young child. Like you're not
consistent in your parenting? Why is it based on your mood, if I can
have a piece of candy today, but then because you're bitter at the
world, you want to cut me off from my joy. This is because we don't,
there's no concept of like, treat the child with respect and stop
projecting your all your anger and frustration onto this little pure
vessel whose heart is in fitrah. And it's he or she was sent to
you, so that you are reminded of God, we have to do better. But he
didn't even say off. I can't even imagine, right? Because we all
fail so miserably, but SubhanAllah. And he says, Why did
you he never even told him? Why did you do so so and so or didn't
do. So imagine all of us when we get upset with our children for
not cleaning their rooms or dishes, we do it all of us. But we
have to learn from his example, that he didn't assign blame. And
that's the point here, there was no shaming, you can certainly be
responsible because you want to obviously, you know, lead your
children to correct behavior. But the shaming is what we're
addressing here. Right, the process of didn't shame children.
So if you're shaming your children, like what's wrong with
you, right?
Learn we have to all learn May Allah forgive us. I should then
also reported, I have not seen anyone who resembled the
prophesies and in terms of words, speech and manners, more than
Fatima, his daughter out of the law and her and she now look,
she's describing the interactions between the province on cinema and
his daughter. So this is for all of us who have children,
especially those who are who have daughters, fathers, in particular,
look at how the father greeted his daughter. I mean, the prophet ism
greeted his daughter, when he saw her coming, he would greet her he
would stand up from his place. So imagine she enters the room, the
prophesy son would stand, because he wanted to welcome her. Right,
embrace her. It wasn't like just come in. Yeah, I said, there it
was, I'm gonna welcome you. And then he would go, you know, to
her, or she would, you know, meet in the middle, kiss her, take her
hand by the hand, and brought her to her seat. This was the prophesy
systems with his own daughter. So how are we with our children, you
know, sometimes we're pushing them away, or we're just again, showing
them he welcomed and this was their way of visiting each other,
this beautiful report of mutual respect, love, right between their
hearts. And she would do the same, right? When he would visit her,
she responded, because she learned from the best of examples, he
modeled it for her. And then she would do the same. So she would
stand and greet him and kiss him, and also lead him to see I mean,
it's so beautiful to imagine a father doing that for his own
daughter, right, with so much love. But we can all do that. Of
course, for mothers, we can do that with our daughters and our
sons, we should just learn. This goes for all across the board. And
then I will Hodeidah reported that this another Sahaba could have
been having saw the process of them kissing a husband, right? So,
you know, and he said, I have 10 children. So you're the boss and I
was kissing his grandson. And this man is like, you know, I'm such a
tough guy. Right? Because he that is not his culture or customer in
his family that was not normal to have a grown man, like doting and
being affectionate to a young child. So he's trying to act
tough. And he says to the brothers, listen, I have 10 kids,
and I've never kissed any of them, like as if it's a boastful comment
right now.
He's boasting to the prophesy setting. And the brothers ism
says, He who does not show mercy towards children, then no mercy
will be shown. So it there's a direct correlation. If we are not
merciful to our children, we better watch out. Because the Most
Merciful, does not forget. So be very careful about this attitude
that a lot of people approach parenting, like I have these
defined roles. And I don't bend because my dad was this way. And
my mom was this way, no, raise your children differently than how
you were raised because they were raised in a different time. So now
Ali, gave us that sage advice. Do not raise your children the way
you were raised. They're different. They're living in
different circumstances. And especially the children of today,
they need love. They're in a very difficult world. So they need
love.
Now, this is a topic that we don't have too much time to cover. But
it's so important because I speak about this a lot. But if you do
not know what emotional intelligence is, it's really
important that you know it because it is basically a modern framework
that parallels perfectly with the prophetic example. And it's just a
simple guide, five point guide that helps you to understand how
to be more prophetic, like, right, so emotional intelligence, to me,
is the same as sunnah. Because if you read the five qualities, then
you'll understand but it's basically the ability to identify
and manage one's emotions, as well as the emotions of others the
process, I've heard that he was perfect at that. And here are the
five qualities. So when you become emotionally intelligent, you're
self aware, you know yourself, well, your temperament, your
personality type, all those things that we should know even these
ideas like the love languages, right? We should know what you're
you should know what your love languages, and you should be able
to communicate that if you like gifts, you should tell your
family, I love gifts. That's how I feel loved. If you like words of
affirmation, where people are giving you compliments when you
prepare a dish, for example, and you're waiting, like, where's my
feedback, tell your family, I feel loved when you actually give me
feedback over the things I do for you. If I clean the house, and you
guys come out from being out all day, and I have the house is
spotless and beautiful, and the clothes are done. And laundry is
done. I want recognition because I feel loved and appreciated. So
tell me, good job. And husbands you know, and wives, we have to do
this to each other, we have to know each other's love languages,
right? motivated, sorry, the third quality of quality time, right?
Spend time with each other. If that's your love language, that I
want to be around you, I want you near me, even if you're doing your
own thing, and I'm doing my thing, I just feel loved when I feel you
your presence, right? Tell your family that not just your spouse,
but your children, they should know what your love language is,
or physical touch. Some people are very affectionate. And if you
don't feel like those daily touches, you know, like a hug
here. You know, a pat on the back or a kiss on the cheek, whatever
it is that you feel, just some affection and love. Tell your
family that that is your way of receiving love. And so that they
can learn empathy to so they can learn to give not just give what
is comfortable for them, but give according to what you need. And
then the last one is what we talked about gifts, words of
affirmation, quality, time physicals and acts of service.
This is really important too. If you are juggling all the time,
you're managing the house responsibilities you work outside
you have, you know, elderly, parents, elderly parents you're
taking care of. And it really means a lot to you when something
is taken off of your checklist or to do list because someone else
did it for you. You're like thank you, I don't have to worry about
that. That's your love language but communicate that to your
spouse and your family so that they know how to love you
accordingly. Right? That's what self awareness teaches us you have
to be aware of well aware of yourself so that you can teach
other people how to you know be around you in a healthy way. And
then self regulation is to control yourself the ability to not always
given to every impulse and every urge if you are reactive in all
situations you're very dangerous person because you have no
regulation if you're constantly like a button gets pushed and you
explode always you're triggered easily. Your emotions are out of
balance. You need work on regulating your behavior. And that
comes from the tusky a process right we're taught to ski at the
knifes you know where we we address their spiritual diseases
of our heart. So there are books methodical follow the
clarification of the heart 25 diseases of the heart outlined for
your signs and symptoms this is by Hamza Yusuf. excellent book,
everybody should have it, read it look at it and be like oh wow, I
have this disease and that disease and that disease, okay, what can I
do to get rid of it? I better work on myself that you know process
of, of working on yourself, makes you better as a human being and
guess what? You will be better as a spouse
So you'll be better as a mom, you'll be better as a dad, as a
son, as a daughter, as a brother, as a sister, as a friend, because
you're working on yourself to become better to Allah subhanaw
taala. So it has a ripple effect to all of your relationships, but
that regulation process is essential, right? And then
motivation, you have to be motivated to towards higher goals.
Right? You cannot just have worldly goals, right? I was with a
celebrate mercy last night. And she has her family may Allah
protect and preserve him gave a beautiful talk on this point that
a lot of us are so limited in our goals. Everybody is with our
children even Oh, what do you want to be when you grew up? And, you
know, doctor, engineer, lawyer, and we're like, Yay, we're so
accomplished his parents, you know, our children want to be
these wonderful things. That's it. Right? He was like, That's it. You
have really you have to work on your dreams if that's your limit,
if that's your ceiling, to want to be a doctor and engineer. What
about you know, greater loftier aspirations that are more pleasing
to Allah Spanner, not to say that there's anything wrong with going
in the medical field or the law field. It's like, we got to raise
the bar for our children to aspire to greater things like all of us
should make dua even right now. Ya Allah make my children who fell
out of the Quran, like why not make that da ya Allah, give my
children your book, put it in their hearts, if they're gonna sit
here and listen to lyrics, and watch all these shows, and
memorize all these lingos from commercials and, and whatever the
shows they're watching? Why are we not, you know, excited for them to
learn his book and putting them on that path? We should want them to
they're sponges, right? So make doors that are lofty, for the
other world, not just wealth and material success in this life.
Sure, you can want those things, but if that's it, then you don't
have the right lens right. So, motivation is always looking to
something greater outside of this world. And then empathy. So
important. Again, time after time, after time, you will see examples
of the prophesy some teaching us empathy, what it looks like,
right? Very, I mean, he we know that when a when he would be
leading the prayer, and if he heard the wailing, or cries of an
infant or a child or a toddler, what would happen, he would not
read from the longer sutras, he would not stay in such that for,
you know, an extra 3040 seconds, because he was emphasizing with
the child who has a need, but also with the mother whose heart is
breaking to fulfill the need of her child and wishing the prayer
was over soon. Right. So this is the prophesy son teaching us he
many famous stories one, once a crema, who is the son of Abuja,
who wanted to meet with the prophesy Saddam after the Battle
of a hood. And and when he came, he the process sort of, you know,
he commanded all of the I'm sorry, battle and butter, when he came
the promises and commanded the Sahaba, to not call it karma,
right, even a B Jahaz. Don't call him the son of the father of
ignorance, because that was his father's name. And he did not want
to break further economic heart, he just lost his dad and battle.
So he instructed his Sahaba Don't call him that just call him by his
name. That's empathy. Right? You told us when there's two of you
and a third person, don't speak in secret, don't talk in a different
language, it's rude. It makes the other person feel left out, you
are hurting another person unnecessarily. So don't do that.
This is an empathy. Example, after example, after example, when a
woman came to him once when he was sitting with his companions,
imagine this, you're with your friends, you're just you know,
you're having your own social interactions in a beautiful
setting. Everything is lovely. And then someone comes in disrupting
the gathering in a agitated state. I need to talk to you I need to
talk to you.
Many of us would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we may even have a
shame the person what's what's going on and not really know how
to deal with that. We may not react properly, because we feel
like it's an intrusion. On our gathering, right? I'm speaking to
someone you don't know people react in different ways. The
prophesy Salam Subhan. Allah, this woman, she had a mental health,
she was known to have mental health problems. So she came in
this agitated state saying, I need to talk to you about something.
And he received her so beautifully. First, he honored her
and he listened to her he let her say what she had to say. Then he
said to her,
pick any street in Medina, and I will come and I will sit with you
and I will listen to whatever grievances you want. You pick the
street, I'll come to you. That's our Prophet. So I said I'm right.
And he did. He went to her and he was able to pour her heart out.
And he listened to her. So many examples with children with
animals, even animals. As I mentioned, many of our cultures
are very heartless when it comes to the care of animals. We don't
you see people out
Are the biller kicking cats and dogs and just oh, they're
disgusting, they're dirty. All of it is not from the province
license example, he did not do that. He did not treat the
creation of a law that way. Subhanallah he hugged the palm the
day palm tree trunk. When it wept when he changed his memoir, he
literally hugged a tree that was wailing. And this is what a
wetter, witnessed by many of the sahaba. But he extended empathy to
a tree.
Many stories of empathy we can go on and on. But he, especially with
animals, the camera or the bird, many stories, we need to inculcate
empathy as adults so that we can then teach it to our children. And
then social skills very important that we understand how to be
around different groups of people. Adults should be comfortable
talking to children, children should be comfortable talking to
adults, we need to teach our children to say Salem to not
cower, when an adult asks them, how are you and you see a lot of
shutdown of conversation, children freeze, I don't know what to say,
why is that that's wrong, it's a failure on us to not be able to
give them the skills to be able to speak to people, so expose them to
good people to good company, it's, we can't just have them in, you
know, in these in these controlled environments all the time with
their peers, where they never learn how to engage people of
different backgrounds of different ages. So we have to work on our
own social skills to know that if we have social anxiety, or
problems with that for ourselves, and then teach it to our children,
and,
and so this is the next. So that's on emotional intelligence. But
this is just a quick I like acronyms because they're easy to
remember. So this is a acronym on prophetic parenting, all the
things that we just talked about that I hope it's easy for you to
remember, CPR, we know what CPR is, right? It's to resuscitate
someone who is losing, who cannot breathe, right or who's losing
life. So in order to, to give them that life force, we give them air
through CPR, right? So CPR, compassion, we need compassion, if
we want to be successful and actually give our children the
best in line with the process and example, we have to be
compassionate. And this is a really important point. Most of
our struggles as adults are actually in fact egoistic, right?
Egoistic, is self selfish. It's like my needs, right? Whereas
children's struggles are egocentric. What does that mean?
Is they just want, like, they, they want you to, they want
attention on on themselves. But it's not. It's not the same
because egoistic, it's like it's serving your needs. So when you're
and and not to say that we obviously we have, you know, we
care for our families, and we're thinking of others. But sometimes
in our daily exchanges. I mean, you know, when things get petty,
when we're moody, when we're having those, you know,
interactions with our children that aren't going well. Sometimes
we can become egoistic where we're, it's enough, whereas
children just need attention. They just need to be seen and heard.
But it's not really for any other purpose. If there's not an ego
involved, they're right. They're struggling to find their voice,
their place, their identity in a world that is intimidating, and
anxiety inducing, so we have to be gentle with them, right. And this
is again, another Hadith you must be gentle. Verily, gentleness is
not in anything except that it beautifies it. And it is not
removed from anything except that it is grace is it. And then
patience, right, when you're, while your clock may always be
ticking. Remember, children don't quite have their own concept of
time. So sometimes we are rushing our children. If you're really
looking at a lot of the negative interactions. We're rushing them a
lot. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I gotta go Hurry up, hurry up,
hurry up. And then we get mad at them and explode on them when they
don't do something in our time. Right? I told you five minutes
ago, I told you 10 minutes ago, if you're talking to a three, four or
five year old good luck, they don't know the difference between
one minute, two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes all it's all
relative to them because they're enjoying lala land in their games,
right? But we get mad and we abused children because we're with
our words, and we get upset with them and explode on them. Because
we think that they were disrespectful of our time that we
set for them. It doesn't work that way. We have to understand how
their minds work there, especially children under seven that are in
that stage of play, where they're in an alternate world half the
time they're in an imaginary world, right? Because their minds
are so creative, Mashallah. They're not with us. You know, so
our concept of time and theirs is different. And we have to remember
again, this hadith of the prophets I said I'm consideration is from
God and haste is from the devil at the Name of Allah, why Jimena
shaytaan if you're rushing all the time, you have failed to time
manage. So do not project that frustration onto your children and
punish them because you
You are late for something, right? If you're late for something then
you were mismanaging your time. And now if your child takes five
extra minutes in the bathroom or to put on their shoes, it's not
fair to make them feel bad or shame them because you're running
late now own it, you failed to be gentle, right? And then the
report, become an emotionally intelligent person and you'll know
how to build prophetic rapport with your children so that they
gravitate towards you instead of being intimidated, repelled and
distinct from you. Right? Allah soprano says a messenger of Allah
is a great mercy of God that you are gentle, right? We read that
verse before, and kind towards them for had you been harsh and
hard hearted, they would have all broken away from you. This is a
excellent reminder of us, for us of the formula for anybody, not
just you know, in our Dawa, but even with our children, if we're
not gentle, and we're harsh, they will go for us.
It's inevitable. If you're a harsh parent, and you don't have this,
these qualities, prophetic qualities, your children will not
want to listen to you, they will not want to be around you, they
will basically buy their time until they can leave your house.
And, and what a to me, that's just, that would be the most
tragic thing ever, that my children are in the house, but
grudgingly hating every minute of it. And just looking at the
escape. Soon as I turn 18 students, I go to college, and
I'll just bite my lip and make it through this. Like that's our home
environments, all the below that we've created homes where that's
the reality, that they just can't wait to break free from the
shackles of our parenting. But that's a lot of kids, I'll tell
you I work with you with all the time. That is what many of them
are thinking they cannot wait to break free. So what are we doing
to create environments, homes where children don't want to spend
time with us?
Right, may Allah forgive us and guide us. So on this topic of
the last point of emotional intelligence, I just wanted to
mention this because it's really important.
If you have young children, especially this is the time I had
a sister earlier asking me she has a young girl, if she knows of any,
you know, classes and opportunities for her children.
And you know, we explored some concepts. And then she said she
was you know, gonna put her in to public school. And I really
caution I just have to speak freely here. I really caution.
Parents putting their children in public school, if you have
options, I have to just speak from my heart. Because I work with
youth, I know what's going on with them. And we all for paying
attention to the political environment we're living in. The
schools are not what they were. And they are not what they were
intended to be. It's not just about education anymore, it is
about indoctrination. And you are seeing a lot of parents actually
go away from public schools, towards other private schools or
homeschooling homeschool models, because they are seeing it for
themselves. They're looking at curriculum being handed to their
children, their children are asked to attend classes without parental
consent. And they're forced into these conversations very young,
when that are inappropriate that they're not ready for. So I really
caution. Parents, please if there are options for you to not put
your children in public school, no matter how high the ratings are,
how amazing and stellar their programs are, what amazing STEM
programs they have, please for the love of God, if you want your
children's Eman to be preserved. Don't send them there, look for
alternative options, inshallah. But I mentioned to her that in
addition, she needs to look for like minded families that have
children of similar age, so that they can create bonds, sacred
bonds that can last because we're at a point in history, where we
have to, we have the hamdulillah our community is strong, may Allah
protect our community, we have a masajid we have some semblance of
community left. Other traditions don't have a lot of empty
churches, a lot of empty temples, a lot of empty synagogues, because
people aren't going there. And you know, Mallanna tests us with the
same fate. But we have to also in addition to supporting our massage
and our institutions and our teachers, we also have to create
communities, smaller communities, of like minded people, where we
can come together and arch and raise our children together so
that they have good Sahaba around them at all times. And they don't
seek out friends that have very different views of life, and then
they do, but that's what will happen if we don't supplement or
offer them. Relationships, you know, bonds, sacred bonds, and we
prefer more dunya. Right, chasing the dunya is something that,
again, a lot of people it's one of the diseases of the heart. Hubba
dunya is that we get too impressed and distracted by all of the
worldly delights, right and all the world so we want money, we
want wealth, and that's the goal. So then everything becomes about
that. What school can I put my kid into that will give them the best
test scores that will get them
The Best College is that they can make a lot of money and we can
travel, we can eat, and we can have the best hotels and we can
fly business class and we can, it's just duniya.
The most important thing we can do is say, What can I do for myself,
my family, my children, that their Iman is intact, because this world
is designed to test them, they will go through tests, and if we
don't give them Islam and fortify them, with the right protection
over their hearts, they may Allah, we don't know, we don't we
shouldn't even I don't want to, we don't even want to go there. But
we have to, you know, realize that that the fate their fate will be
will be perilous. If that's the case, may Allah protect and
preserve them. So it's our job again, to, to provide that. So
what are sacred bonds look like? You know, the virtues of good
company and friendship. This is again from the Quran and keep
yourself patient by being with those who call upon their Lord in
the morning and evening, seeking His countenance. So if your
friends and the people that you are bringing to your home, or
you're going to their home, don't do this, don't call on a law, they
don't even pray, if you sit through dinner, and McGraw enters
and nobody gets up to pray.
That's a problem. And if your children see that, those are the
types of people around, then when it comes time to pray at home,
they're gonna be like, I don't feel like doing it. Because you've
just shown them, all of your friends and all the people around,
they don't care to pray. So it's why can I not pray either. I don't
want to fast there's people who don't fast, but they're your
friends. So now your parents, your children are seeing that that's
normal. And that's an option. Okay, I guess I don't need to fast
either. Right. So you have to be very careful of the friends that
you that you keep in that you bring into your intimate spaces
intimate, right? And make sure that they are those who call upon
Allah seeking His countenance, and let not your eyes past beyond
them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, right? Don't worry
about climbing social, the social ladder and trying to get into that
in group and that group, and who I want to be invited to this, that
was in that wedding and that dunya that shouldn't be your concern. If
you never get invited to any of the social events that are
happening. Sorry.
If you're not
getting invited to any of those events,
then I say 100, lower sugar, especially if you know what's
going on there. These are social environments were dancing and free
mixing and a lot of and lack of remembrance of Allah is happening.
You didn't lose anything. Allah protected you and you have to see
it that way. Right? So don't seek those things out, and do not obey
one whose heart we have made heedless of our remembrance and
who follows His desire and whose affair isn't ever in neglect? Make
sure again, that we choose the right company and the right people
who become our who influenced us right? In our behavior, if they're
heedless of their and LeFleur. Why are we following them?
The Prophet I sent him was reportedly asked which of our
companions are best, and he replied, One whose appearance
reminds you of God, and whose speech increases you acknowledge,
and whose actions remind you of the hereafter? Again, this is the
yardstick that we should measure the company that we keep, and also
ourselves, are we this? Are we these people? Are we people who
remind other people of God? Are we people whose speech increases
other people knowledge? Do we have, you know, good actions that
remind people of the hereafter? If we don't, I mean, our actual
moment, right? The believer supposed to be a mirror for the
believer, why are we seeking out you know, excellent company, but
then also putting some investment in ourselves. So we have to start
in ourselves. But we should also seek out excellent company. And
the process instead of person is on the religion of his companions.
Therefore, let every one of you carefully consider the company
that you keep. And then earlier, the line reminds us mixed with the
noble people, you become one of them, and keep away from evil
people to protect yourself from their evils. Again, this is so
essential, because if we want our children to have excellent
character to preserve their Eman, it starts with us and the people
that we expose them to and the company that we keep. And we have
to give primacy more than ever before, I would say honestly, to
making sure our children have good Sahaba young, make sure they have
really good friends at a young age, that have good adult that
their parents have good character, because those parents may end up
being your mentor that your children's mentors, and I'll tell
you I live this reality I know this reality.
Either will come a time when you're teenagers. And you may have
you know, maybe butting heads over something, but well Llahi it will
be the greatest gift from you when you can say I have so and so my
dear friend who has a bond with my child. And I can call that person
and say hey,
I'm having a rough time with so and so. You know my child, my teen
boy girl, can you please make some time to talk to him?
and
it is a gift from Allah to have people in your life that you think
that you can turn to. But if you don't have anybody in your life
that you can turn to for that role of mentorship when it's time
please seek those people out now do it it's we don't believe in
this you know, fatalism or defeated attitude no Sharla put
your trust in a lot and ask Allah spanner to give you your children
good stuff about literally make dogs added to one of your Ramadan
dogs. Yola bring the best company for my children, I need them to
have really good friends, give us good friends good, me and my
husband, or me and my wife, give us good friends so that when our
children are with their children, I don't worry of what's going on
in closed doors, right? Because I know their children are good
children. I know their parents are good. I know they have the same
philosophy about what to what they teach your children what they give
their children, but have this intention with the people that you
mix with so that inshallah Allah brings you, the best of company,
for yourself and for your children.
And just some further reminders do not speak much without mentioning
a lot of promises and reminds us here for too much speech without
mentioning Allah hardens the heart, and the hardhearted other
farthest of all people from Allah. It's
something that we should be very intentional about. And I really
want to make this point.
We, when we get invited to social gatherings, family, friends, you
know, we can't always dictate how that's going to unfold. Sometimes
you want to just go to preserve the bond, right? I want to, I want
to call it because that's Sunday, you get invited to somewhere you
go, you respond. So your intention is I don't want to hurt their
heart. I don't want to offend them. They've invited me they
thought of me it's beautiful. But make part of your kneel with Allah
that especially if you have like, a religious family, secular
family, family that's not interested in religion at all.
Make your Nia to Allah subhana wa Tada and be intentional about it.
Y'all Allah make me a means by attending this gathering of
opening their hearts, you know, give me the words, prepare in
advance, what are topics that you can talk about, that are not
overly religious, but maybe there's a beautiful moral lesson
value, something that you give them, that it's like the perfume,
you know, maker, right, that you've, you've sprayed them with
the perfume of the beauty of our deen so that even though they may
not have bought the bottle, right from you, that that smell
resonates with them and they love it. And then after you've left,
they may recall that smell and then maybe because you've left
such a good impression on them with your beautiful Ecolab and
your intentionality, to be in those gatherings for the sake of
Allah, that maybe you will be the means where they find Allah
subhanaw taala because it was your beautiful o'clock every time you
entered their space, but have the intention that that's why you're
going not just because I want to be nice. You don't I mean, like
raise the bar, because sometimes we respond to invites, like, with
with with friends and family, but we don't take our intention to
this level, like elevate the intention, which is make me a
means of guidance for this person. I love them. They're my family.
They're my friends. They're not religious, but I love them. But
maybe I can be the means, you know, and do it do that with that
intention. And then here's the Hadith the prophesy so it says a
good friend and a bad friend are like the perfume seller, and a
blacksmith right the perfume seller might give you some perfume
as a gift or you might buy some from him or at least you smell the
fragrance. As for the blacksmith he might send your clothes and at
the very least you will breathe in the fumes. We don't ever want to
be all the biller like the last the ladder, we want to be the
former. And we also want to surround ourselves with people who
are not like the ladder either.
And then the parable of the believers in their affection,
mercy and compassion for each other is that of a body when any
limb aches, the whole body reacts, and with sleeplessness and fever,
and then the rights that we have for each other that we have five
rights over another to return the greeting of peace we have to be
better at the Salam. Salam Wa alaykum gets what why Lake Como
Salam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh always elevate it right you can
give the same or but it's better to give a greater reading and if
someone obviously says a somewhat akin what I have with Allah here,
but I can't do you don't say why they consider you match their
their Salam but be in the practice of that. And whether it's verbally
or even on text. And we'll I mentioned this in a previous talk
this week. And just yesterday, I I was sending a text and my son was
next to me and he saw me right because reflexive ws was set up.
And I said this reminder that we have to even expand our greetings
and mommy love you. Because you reminded me we forget we get into
habit. So I said thank you and I went back and I change it. So
little children can be your teachers but we should give the
greeting in the best way possible visit when someone is sick, follow
the funeral procession so even if you don't know that the person
who's deceased it doesn't matter if you
You know, there's a funeral and you have time, go, go to the
funeral, go to the janazah follow it. Because when you go, ALLAH
SubhanA may send a lot of unknown people, and maybe among them are
sprinkled with saints. You know, maybe there'll be a bunch of
saints that come for your time to pray over you. So be intentional.
And then answer the invitation, as we mentioned, and respond to the
sneeze. Right? So someone sneezes and teach your children young
Alhamdulillah What do we say? Your hammock Hola, what do we say?
Yeah, de como la jolla, slim balco right, learn the Greek, learn the
DUA and teach them to your children. And another, narration,
the process and when he seeks your advice you counsel him, right. So
be also the type that is picks up the phone, when people reach out
to you for help, don't just turn them away. Because you're too busy
with your own problems, you don't have time, that apathy and lack of
concern for others will also come back to haunt you at some point
when you need help. And nobody wants to pick up your phone call
everything, there's a son of Allah, the law of reciprocity, how
you are with others, Allah will show in your own life. So if you
want to be that person, as I don't have time, I'm too busy, then
don't be surprised when nobody comes to your aid. Allah will show
you these things right, do not hate each other, do not envy each
other do not turn away from each other, but rather be servants of
Allah as brothers and sisters. It is not lawful for a Muslim to
boycott his brother for more than three days. That's it three days,
work it out, you have an ego problem. After three days, you
really do your egos in charge. But if you have three days to deal
with your issues, whatever the resentment is, whatever the you
know, hurt is the pain is. But after three days, for the sake of
Allah, you have to be willing to have that spine, pick up the phone
or go to the open the bedroom door. If it's between spouses,
sometimes this happens, you know, you get upset with each other. And
then it's a cold war. Not for three days, unfortunately for
weeks, sometimes for months. It's terrible. And she thought is just
loving it. But you have to challenge yourself to say, I have
to get over my my ego. So I need to go into into that their space
and go, Hey, we should talk. And just because you do that you
initiate conversation doesn't mean you're saying I was your you know,
I'm completely in the wrong and you're in the right what you're
saying is I'm a grown up, right, I'm a grown up, and I hold myself
accountable to Allah subhanaw taala. And our Prophet listened
and said, We have to work things out after three days. So here I
am, let's work it out. That's what a grown up does with a proper
understanding who has commanded their ego, right?
And then the final thing because I know this has gone on, forgive me,
well, one more thing, never ever forget.
So all of these advices and all of these reminders, of course, the
combination of that should lead us to constant reliance and turning
to Allah subhanho data, we have got to call on Allah Subhana Allah
with what as the prophet Isaiah says, was certainty that He will
answer you know that Allah will not answer the supplication of a
heart that is negligent and distracted. So if we are not
really all convinced of Allah has put it out of his power. And we
are weak in our Yaqeen right, the province of Islam said, Not
harmful at Almaty it adopted Yaqeen I fear but my for my ummah,
the weakness of certainty, that we don't have certainty and Allah
subhanaw taala he feared that for us and we are in this age where we
make half hearted dogs. If you can, I will do whatever you can to
Allah convey your good you can do anything you say it with your
Allah you can do all things please your Allah make this easy for me
I'll Please fulfill this need fulfill this thing whatever it is,
but you do it with that certainty that Allah can do anything and you
want to be worthy of that so you say Make me worthy, right Forgive
me, whatever you need to say call him up by all of his beautiful
names, but do it with certainty Inshallah, right and be patient
because Allah will answer our doors either in this world, he may
delay it in the next world he may replace it with something better,
but to think for a moment that your drawers will not be answered
is is tantamount to cover because what are you that's your your your
you're not realizing you're you're limiting Allah subhanho data and
who are we to ever limit Allah we can never do that right? So don't
let your mind go there. And if you go there that's a West fossa from
shaitan LW Michelle, I don't ever presume to know what Allah will
do. I just put my need out there the rest I submit and I surrender.
Right So Alhamdulillah that is the end. Next week inshallah we will
do balanced parenting and there's another one as well I forgot the
title of that but can see it in the in a flyer and we will close
next week Inshallah, but I'm happy to stay on for any questions for a
few more minutes. I know we went over any questions or comments?
Yeah, no, it's an excellent, excellent question just like you
Okay.
And so this is your asked about situation where, you know, some of
us want to come and you know, to the, to the sacred spaces to do
our own worship. And we may even bring our children just to be
participating in these beautiful events and nights of especially
this month. But we may find that other families because they also
have the same intention, though, they're here they might not be
managing their children with correctly and that they give their
children devices where it's unsupervised, and maybe exposing
not only themselves, but also other enabling children to
content, or just in general to the device, you know, without
permission or without the, you know, the the desire of the
parents who are praying. So that's absolutely happened. It happens
all the time. And I'm sure we're all witness to that. So I do think
this goes back to personal responsibility and all the things
we talked about as parents, we have to raise the bar and really
be mindful of, of our spaces, you know, how you conduct your
business at home is between you and Allah, but your behavior that
impacts other people is more, you're held more accountable,
right. So if you're going to do something, and it harms or
potentially exposes other people to harm, that's going to be
greater against you, it's going to be greater than whatever you're
doing. It's just between you and you know, your I mean, it's just,
you're only harming yourself. So we have to really take that to
heart. And that's part of becoming more emotionally intelligent, when
we talked about those social skills and empathy, and all those
things. If you're not thinking of other people in general, because
you're so self centered, then that doesn't occur to you that wait a
second, my giving over my childhood device, because I can
benefit from their distraction may in fact, distract other people.
Right, then that's not the great, right, you know, protocol, what,
what, what else can I do? So this is where I think I mean, a couple
of things, obviously, we want our children to come to the massage,
we want our children to be here. But this is where the parents have
to coordinate, you know, there might be a time where and I saw
this actually happening here even just earlier, but there might be a
time where you have to hand off. So if you're wanting to do some
extra prayers, you know, and your husband is free, or your wife is
free, they have to maintain the children while you're doing your
prayers, and you're responsible, you have a guardian, basically,
taking care of that responsibility. That could be one
thing to bring them but the parents are handing off and tag
teaming, and taking that responsibility and allowing for
each other to benefit from their worship and the space. Right.
Another thing is that you can find if you if you really, if it's
difficult for you then find someone to watch the children,
sometimes people have, you know, other friends or family in the,
you know, in the masjid to that they may ask, can you please watch
them while I do some extra America or whatever it is, but look for
helpers, because there are sometimes people who have no
problem, they would love to sit and play with the children. And
this is also a good way to encourage community. And so if
your children are comfortable with that person, ask them could you
watch them for just a few minutes, but to just immediately default to
the device, I think is really the issue here, right? Because this
becomes a nuisance, and even the rest of the congregants not
wanting to hear the sound of, you know, Shark whatever that song is.
Baby shark shark. Now I don't want to hear a Baby shark when I'm
doing, you know, my my extra NLF ID right or reading Quran. But if
you for you that works at home, then you have to have a plan B for
the for public spaces, Plan B is more considerate of other people,
right. And so think not so much about your own needs, but also how
you can have a system that's mutually beneficial for everybody
also for the child because it goes back to make sure the child is
safe, feels good is happy in the care of whoever you leave them.
And not just you're not just neglecting them, of course that
would be terrible. So those are all some suggestions. The other
thing is, as a collective as a community, we can certainly
organize with the masjid and ask if there is a way to hire or to
you know, bring in some services during prayer time so that we have
actually qualified, well trained supervisors with children who know
how to engage children who can maybe manage, you know, the child
programming part so that parents can come out here and enjoy all of
the other talks and benefits of the masjid without the fear of Oh
no, is my kid being exposed to something or learning something?
That's not beneficial. So there are a lot of things we can do in
this space. Outside of that, obviously, the answer would be to
leave them with other caretakers that you trust, and then allow for
the congregants to come together and peace but I'm personally I
would love to see more children. We just have to do better about
managing them. So it's an excellent question because like
well, thanks.
Any other questions? I want to come thank you for coming on
delay. Yes.
All
right.
Sure, sorry, we're just gonna wait for the microphone to turn on. And
then
do you have any advice for parents for small but impactful habits
that they could pick up to help them, you know, get closer to the
last one with Allah in the Quran and the prophesy Salam when they
are managing smaller children who require perhaps a little bit more
time, a little bit less sleep, things like that. So just small
but impactful things that are easy to be consistent with sure martial
law, just like you're locked in for the question. So I can only
speak from what has worked for me and what I've seen other teachers
or other people that I believe have also found, you know, things
that work for them. And I think, you know, as we know, we're all
creatures of habit and children are certainly creatures of habit.
So at a young age, I think if we really increase their connection
with the book of Allah subhanaw taala, their connection with
initiate with Viken, right, so that when they're very young, they
understand that there's a routine to your day, right, we have the
five daily prayers that are kind of interspersed throughout the
day. And sometimes we do it at one time and other time, we may do it
another time, right? It's not as routine based, right? But there
are certain routines that can be fixed every day at a certain time.
So one of the things I speak about often, which our teachers really
encouraged us to do, is as a family to have that have a
practice of a litany write a word. And so in the morning, for
example, in my household at home, the land this has been for
decades, maybe over a decade, now we've done this, and it works is
we have a Bluetooth speaker, so it reaches the house, everybody can
hear it. And the boys know I have two sons, that in the morning,
when they wake up, they go and they play the wizard, which is you
know, on a YouTube link, and it reaches the whole house. And then
you know, so that's the morning routine, we start the day off in
the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala after that we also listen to
there's different machines, you can listen to the line Clara at
the border, you know, whatever you're comfortable with. There are
many other dogs that you can listen to as well. But we do
usually do it a lot. And then we also listen to Quran. And that's
kind of our gist day, like in terms of what's going on everybody
can because I homeschool. So my kids are doing their homeschooling
work, or I'm cooking, but there's always something playing that is
connecting them to the book of Allah and hamdulillah as someone
who used to teach children for earn, you know, previously, I know
from working with children that they love to play, even if they're
playing with Legos or their blocks, or drawing or coloring or
painting. And also be listening to something right because they have
that natural affinity to rhythm and rhyme and music. Musical most
children love dance and song and play. So when you find them
reciters that they really like, and I would create playlists for
them. There are now much like I mentioned this last week, but
there's a an app called Claudia QAR I, ah, that's an all female
there. They're all female reciters. So if you have young
girls, I would definitely encourage them to find maybe some
connection there. I mean, certainly any of the great
reciters. But just give them a curated list that's special to
them. And that it's their playlist, right? So that they can
go and listen to certain sources or nasheeds, even because those
are even more musical, right. And that becomes a routine for them.
And something that they always know is there. And for you, it
actually helps because
you'll see your children kind of almost in like a trance like state
when they're doing their games, because children love their
imaginary play. Right? So part of the challenge for a lot of parents
is they want our attention a lot, right? So it's like you're trying
to cook and they're like Mommy, mommy, mommy, come play, but come
do this with me. And then we're divided and torn. But I think if
they're tiny pockets of time, where you can keep them engaged in
their activity, but also feel almost as if there is a presence
with them right through the nasheeds or through the angelic,
you know, realm because there's angels of course that come that I
think you'll find those are good breaks for you like, Oh, they're
enjoying their little machine, song and dance while coloring or
doing whatever, and you can then take care of other things. For you
as a practice the word is certainly important, but also
finding the good that you can do throughout the day even while
you're doing daily tasks, right. So for some people silhouette is
something they love to do. They're people I know people who do 1000
or more silhouette the day that's just their practice, which is of
greatest of the car or Leila hayleigh whatever vehicle that you
feel is speaking to you maybe calling on Allah specific names,
you know that speak to what you're going through, but finding those
ways to check
You know, your, your mind back to him right is really helpful but
having a habit of that right and inshallah you know those are the
things that come to mind now that I think if you you know start with
inshallah you will feel that Baraka, you know, in the household
and I would also say as a, you know, a site that is limiting
the, the amount of, you know, entertainment they're watching, I
know, it's very normal for because, you know, but I really
think stipulating some some clear limitations, about like,
television especially is really important. There too drawn to
that, it's very, like what I said about the imaginary world, you're,
you're teleporting them into someone else's imaginary world
when they have all the imagination in their mind. And if you do that
too much, then then what they do is they don't want to come back
into their world. Now, they only want that world. And so I feel
like, although it's a crutch for some of us, if we create a
dependency on that for our kids, and we're stifling their own
imagination and creativity, and that's, that's really sad, if you
think about right, so imposing restrictions, I would say, I mean,
my my kids knew 30 minutes to an hour a day. In most days, it never
really happened. But that was always the limit of cartoons, and
devices, games, like we have iPads, they are only allowed on
Friday, because our teachers taught us like your module was a
day of Eid and celebration. So you should always have exciting things
to do for your kids. Right? So if you're going to teach them
anything from the theater or Quran have their favorite treats with
them if they like cookies, cupcake ice cream, just make it's okay,
one day of the week to break some of these dietary restrictions for
fun so that your children have this positive association with
Allah and what's the right the job was a very special day is really
important. And so I in addition to doing that, I also added games so
you can have your games but as they grow older because now I have
preteen and teen
they have to do chores on Friday. So Friday's their day of chores,
and then rewards so this is now the next level of parenting, you
know where you want to teach them Inshallah, to work and strive and
really, you know, have have a have some responsibility inshallah. So,
inshallah that'll help
but yeah, okay.
And I know we're way over so I think inshallah we will end here
does that come off? Great. And thank you, everyone. If there are
any other questions, we can wait till next week, but I'll go ahead
and end in dua Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim. Al Asad inland salah,
Picasa Hill. Alladhina amanu. I'm gonna slowly have you with us.
We'll be happy with the vessel the summer Subhanak Alohomora. We have
decrescendo Allah Allahu ALA and that Asakura Kona to bootleg
Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala say that our Mo Lana, where
have you been? I'm Hamid sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while
he was happy with Olympus Sleeman Kathira Subhana Arabic herbalist
at EMI UC * was salam ala l Mursaleen. 100 Allah Hi Robert.
Zack North here and thank you so much everyone, for being here and
salah. We will see you next week for the final week and shall of
this course medical Oh Fico.