Hosai Mojaddidi – Questions & Answers With Muslim Women Scholars
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First question is for Scott Medina. So it says,
How do I build my confidence to put my face on social media? I
have studied Islam and counseling, I have so many things I would love
to share. So I could also connect with like minded people, I feel
like I learned so much you only have minimal friends to share with
when I share, I feel amazing. I also want to have the right
intention and have been told that I could attract the aim.
So I might, you know, I just want to obviously be a target for ain
Can you give her some advice about being in the public eye, and
avoiding the eye, perhaps
just being using social media for good, and how to kind of check
your intention, so that I find him and him to either hit up with me
and or salatu salam ala Rasulillah, that
when I first joined social media, it was because I wanted to make
Dawa to a cohort that I was part of, and just help them see the
beauty of Islam.
In that time, I never put my face up. And I was just like,
Absolutely, I would never put anything related to my person
online.
And I just want to share with you this development, because I think
it's important for us to think about all the different aspects if
anyone's doing public work. Over time, as I was giving lectures,
some of my lectures were shared online. And so slowly, my, my, my
face is online more and more, because people are sharing the
lectures. And then eventually, I started getting messages from
sisters, who were really struggling with being a visible
Muslim, just very, very, very hard. There was an era an era in
which a lot of social media influencers who had established
hijab companies, and who had been kind of like the pillars of, you
know, encouraging hijab, were going through a difficult time and
removing their hijab, and they Allah bless all of them. And hijab
is a very, you know, difficult subject in so many ways. So in
that time, I was getting so many questions related to just hijab
and being public and all of that. And so I started to ask my
teachers, and the people who mentored me, scholars who mentored
me about how to help women see themselves in different areas. And
one of the pieces of advice that I kept receiving was, they need to
see other Muslim woman who are in different spaces, it's one thing
to see, you know, flowers with a caption. And it's another thing
for them to see someone who they can relate to. And I have to say
that it's, I am physically, like, I don't post my picture, unless
there's a reason I don't have like, it's, it's a personal
choice, I just don't have like a photo shoots of myself, like at
the beach, and respectfully to anyone who does that. That's just
not my style, I try to make sure that what I post is with an
intention that it's showing other women or it's talking about an
aspect of character, that's a personal thing. videos, I've
talked to Dr. haisa, about in the past, this style of social media
right now is videos are here. And it was something I really
struggled with. Because when I did take a video from, you know, like
that pillar over there, people just felt like they couldn't
connect to it. And I would get that feedback. And I want to say
that I really dislike being social on social media. I hate having my
picture on social media, I hate being in videos on social media, I
would completely leave social media, if it wasn't for the
messages that I received, specifically from women who talked
about how just seeing the visibility has made an impact on
their lives. And it's not because I'm actually doing anything good,
or because I'm worthy of that. It's just literally sometimes
someone needs to see someone else to feel like there's community,
and they just feel that community. And so when I'm sharing with you
this advice, I'm sharing it from a place of hating being public. I
don't like to be public. And I wouldn't encourage someone to be
public not because it's not helpful. I've told Dr. Rania to
get a tick tock. I asked Dr. Hasan to get a tick tock, I think
okay, the camera interface. Let me just say I told everyone but two
of them actually did it. So what that says about
mashallah Tabata cola. Some of them are the chosen I'm just
kidding. No, I'm just kidding. Tik Tok is a beast. But the people on
Tik Tok? Are you young people, and the types of messages that they're
hearing on there are from people who know nothing about Islam, who
have 500,000 followers and who are like women who are the majority of
health. No, Monica has over the quarter in Nabila. This is why
young people in high school and college
and their reality that they're living is so supportive, be
whoever you want, be whatever you want, want. Once you got
everything you want, you're accepted. But in the Muslim
community, no absence Don't be whoever you know, hide everything
about your existence, because it's better
For women not take this in first place, and that that message is
really hard for a young person who's struggling to figure out
what their identity is. And so why I'm telling you all of this
because the benefit of being on social media I have seen it I'm
sure anyone here doctor, any doctor haisa anyone else? Oh, set
up a site. I didn't I see you set aside, a set aside, may Allah
bless them for the difficulty of experiencing the reality of social
media. It's a beast, and there's so much hate, and there's so much
frustration, the amount of nights of waking up with anxiety in the
middle of the night, because my face is online is just so much.
But what I've seen is the messages from sisters, especially younger
sisters and older sisters, it's just been so worth it. And so why
I'm telling you all of that is because if you feel like what you
want to do is give a particular message and in a field that really
needs to be represented, especially from women, especially
supporting other women. I think it's such a critical, critical
role that someone needs to take what I would recommend is, number
one, make a Sahara. I personally make a Sahara before basically any
posts. I make a Sahara multiple times before doing things and I
asked for advice. I said what I'm about to post to other people
getting their feedback before I do, I think that that shoulder is
really important. And you know, the intention thing people ask me
this, they're like, how can you maintain a sincere intention with
like, the more and more people that might see the more and more
people that you know, it's about followers, it's about likes, it's
all those things. I'm like really, I think the best advice that I can
give you is be an extremely insecure person because nothing
will impact that you will never be good enough. And so that's my
advice just be really insecure because the Hata
I like the only the people here are laughing because they know my
insecurities.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you know, at the end of the day,
you always think like, this is not coming with me to the great except
to be a punishment unless you do it for the sake of Allah. And if
you're not doing for the sake of Allah, it
doesn't matter how many followers you have. First of all, Facebook
was a big thing. barely anyone uses Norscot I mean I'll respect
to the people who actually do and now Okay, so then all those people
who had all those big followings now what no tick tock is the thing
and 10 years what it's what's this? No one's going to remember
who we are this life. This life, probably most of our names are not
gonna be remembered except for insha Allah all the sisters,
everyone in this room everyone loves I mean, but the point is
that I just really have a ton for 20 minutes oh my gosh, to the
point make yourself Automator I ask a lot of people may Allah make
you sincere and always ask Allah to purify your intentions to be
sincere. And think about what you're doing before you do it.
Make multiple intentions before you press post because really, it
doesn't benefit you in the long run for any other reason other
than you doing for the sake of Allah. May Allah subhanaw taala
make us all sincere. Mean also PS please, Mr. Bhatia, the woman poor
and reciters app, since we have on social media, it's on App Stores,
both of them QAR i Ah, it's free. It's for women 40 Other women put
on reciters I've met so many of you who are like I love the work
you're doing like have you done with the clutter yet? They're like
no.
So
all right, let's just just do one thing. Yes, Zack De La Jolla.
Maria.
This was the one of the best advice I was given 20 years ago.
Don't learn to teach.
And don't learn to be famous. Don't go on social media if you
want to.
Don't
go against your nerves. Because you're going to be drained. You're
going to be following your how many people they like me, they
don't like me and the followers don't wait. If Allah wants to use
you, through social media, he'll use you what I just shared with
you, the Tick Tock that now I am on Allah knows how many people for
years that were after me and I was absolutely against. You know how
Allah made me do it. You've talked to me but I wasn't convinced. A
16th note you know why? Because you always wait till Allah shows
you. This is very important. 16 year old boy. His mother sent me
my clip. She says some operates on Tik Tok. And I said really was not
us someone. And I said and she said, please put yours on Tiktok I
said, Why did my Sunday he loves it. Hollis done. Did you see my
point? So for the sister who asked Allah gave you the knowledge, but
he would tell you teach. And he didn't tell you go on social media
yet. He taught you wait. Ask Him to show you
because that's a dangerous trap. Social media being popular, big
famous. Don't you think it's easy to be in this shoes? You know what
I'm talking about? So wait, if Allah wants to you it's Tammy
neola tested in me your Allah He used me and don't replace me and
He will use you the way he thinks is the best for you. I'm sorry I
took it but I just wanted to make this point. It's okay. The next
question is actually
For you, Dr. Haifa what to do? What to do if two people are
strongly convinced that they are being wronged by the other person
both are taking guidance from the Quran and Sunnah or looking at
things from a completely different opposite lens.
I will remind you of Hadith of rasa Esau to sit down When Tara
can be done I wouldn't be at all why the hawk
I think he said at least the meaning of Leon era mechanical
agenda whomsoever, leave an argument.
And you know, you are right.
But you leave it. Look at your police engine.
That's the answer.
Period.
Because if you were right, and you did it, your place engine and if
you were wrong, and you live it and you left it at hamdulillah
period.
This also goes to Tuskegee into your knifes don't defend your
knifes, I have to show Orion right?
That's your enough stock, leave it. Leave it for Allah. And he
will absolutely defend you and show you be it. Nila.
Does that collections to other hosts? Say the mic.
regarding privacy within the marriage. You talked about
transparency? What are the limits? What if others like the in laws?
Ask your spouse not to share a Hilbert private conversation?
I saw that question. I was a little confused by the context.
The in laws are speaking to whom and I was a bit confusing for me.
But in general, I would say that, as I mentioned during the talk,
you know, there are certain
things that are sacred in the in the marital relationship. And the
bond that we have with our spouses is really important to maintain,
as we know, he believes seeks to destroy the family. Because if he
destroys the husband and wife, he destroys the family he destroys
the community has this ripple effect. So we have to be on guard
and know his tactics. And having secrecy and these duplicitous
natures where I have my life and you have your life and we don't
ever really have transparency, I think is very dangerous game to
play. And it comes from a lot of these modern ideas about you know,
women and men having to always have everything as Michelle, Dr.
Haifa beautifully alluded to, it's always at least political ideas
that come into our marriages. We have to use hikma, we have to use
wisdom. And I think just having some, some basic, you know,
understandings between you and every couples going to have to
decide what that means for my, for example, my marriage, my husband
any day, anytime of the day, it is a matter of some of the middle of
the night in the morning, if he wants to see my phone marhaba Here
you go. There's no Oh, no, you can't look at my stuff, it's
private, he doesn't have access to my passcode I just don't believe
that that's healthy, so he can get into my phone and I can go into
his phone, I have all his access to his emails, he can go into my
email, he could do whatever he wants. But he knows respectfully,
there are certain things that are very private, and I tell him
because I have sisters that message me that for that reason,
please do not touch these things. Because it's kind of confidence
that I have other women or other people, but everything else
between him and I, there is this understanding that there's no
privacy. So I think, you know, really having a culture of mutual
respect of honoring one another's preferences, some people might
have more, you know, things that they are, that they want, just
from experiences, you know, I know people have come out of really
unhealthy relationships. So they might need, they might need a
little bit more, you know, in their current relationship because
of their past. So just being compassionate, and seeing people
where they are and having open dialogue, I think will remove a
lot of the doubt and suspicion and all of those things are shades on
and you know, that he wants to create between the couple. So just
have open communication. That's that as far as in laws and other
people, I mean, again, we have to be very clear about boundaries,
within our marriages, and that goes for, for anybody that's not
involved in the marriage, you can always seek advice, but to have
people meddling in your marriage,
I think is also a very dangerous thing. So we should, you know, be
very clear that we will as a couple, for example, if we have
problems that we have one person or at least there's a due process
of how we're going to, you know, mediate our problems, but it's not
this kind of, you know, open, haphazard way of letting anybody
into the marriage because there's things that are very private and
once you lose trust, again, this is how shaytaan sews those seeds
of discord. So these agreements, a lot of the stuff can be taken care
of with premarital counseling. So please, if you're not married, go
into Premiere.
counseling because experts like mashallah Dr. Rania and others who
are in the field of either mental health or do this as a
professional, this is part of their expertise, they will guide
you on how to have these contracts that are mutually beneficial, that
is the key, it has to be mutually beneficial, that's very different
than equal, okay? And those words I know are interchanged, but
mutually beneficial, is rooted in respect is rooted in, in again,
top law in Inshallah, in the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala
above the neffs. And if we, I think, conduct ourselves in that
respectful way, we will have agreements with our spouses that
will not leave anyone feeling that they, you know, have a need to
hide or have a need to, to, to do things any other way. So, I hope
that was clear. Okay, we got a question. Somebody wants to take
their shahada, and we don't know if it's in person or online?
Because
Wow.
Have the law already? Can you tell us about yourself? I just received
the question right now.
So I have some friends in the community. I live in Pacifica,
Madison. Nice to meet you all.
I actually come from an atheist family. And I've done some
research here and there about other religions. And just so
happens that this is the one that sat in my heart, I had some
trouble kind of connecting my head and my heart. Because there's some
things I'm trying to learn about logic and but I feel it in my
heart. And I'm ready to say that.
So Madison, just let me give you a little bit of so you're coming to
religion, which is the essence of it is the base of every religion.
It's only one God, you worship, and you submit. That's basically
it. And all the other religions, the base is the same, but then
things change. And that's probably why your art felted. And that's
the usual story. Because anything else, I wouldn't say doesn't make
sense, but doesn't make a pure sense. Can't be more than one.
This is too perfect. This is too sophisticated to have too many.
You know what I'm saying? So it is one. So this is basically what
Islam is submission to the will of God. That's what we were all
talking about. And basically what I'm going to show you we're going
to say after me, I'm going to say it in Arabic, then just say it
like driving on the car.
And there's, there's a there's a disclaimer, honestly, we had no
idea. I just read the question I if you saw me I was Eileen.
Exactly. And I leaned to start a fight where I was like, oh, and
who is she? We don't know. Hamdulillah. So basically, the
declaration of shahada or the declaration that you're to get to
a star is that You declare two things that Allah God is One rasa.
They sort of send a messenger Muhammad peace be upon him is his
messenger. That's basically it. So Bismillah ash hadoo Hadoo en la
isla Ilaha illa Allah, Allah Allah, wash her new wash. Anna
anna muhammadan Muhammadan rasul Allah rasool Allah, I bear witness
or witness there is no deity there is no deity other than a law other
than I bear witness I've ever lived there Muhammad, his
messenger is missing in the last messenger. Allahu Akbar.
Welcome to this
beautiful lucky for strong everyone. She's an amazing
community. Make a dua for us. I'm jealous because you're pure. And I
mean it the person who enters now everything else is white. So I
have a lot of things to clear everybody. She is pure whiteboard.
So welcome my dear man was puntata make you a tea that you got other
people your OB me now you can hug?
Yes, on behalf of the Rama Foundation, especially the MCC, we
wanted to give you this gift box called being a Muslim. Inside
you'll find it run and a prayer rug and some other books did kind
of begin the journey and some other goodies and things but we
are here in person so this is for you Madison it wasn't planned.
This wasn't planned. They're just I don't know what I don't know
where
MCC Masha Allah may Allah bless this masjid and the Conqueror
committee that's here. There's some wonderful programming here
and we hope you'll join us
of course, but it's my first
serious
She's saying
she's saying she just found us on YouTube a week ago.
Allah guides whom He wills called Shabbat.
Congratulations,
we're here for you to MCC yes
the superhero so Allah
You know, I want to say one thing, whenever you do a good deed, the
sign that the good deed is accepted when Allah follows with
another good deed. So look at this Subhanallah you came you support,
may Allah reward all the organizers. And this is the second
time actually. Yeah, this is the third conference. This is second
time last time the same thing happened. And that lady was
actually not in the conference. She texts and says, wait for me,
remember? Yes. And we waited for her humbler Oberon. May Allah
accept from all of us. May Allah make us an example to the people
outside that they see us and they want to enter Eastern European.
Oh, right, back to the questions. Just real quick set outside who
was the one who slept I mean about the allaahu unhappiness, I Bucha
head
for those of you taking notes. Alright, so that was Psych. And so
what authors books did you utilize for your talk? And would you
recommend to learn from remember, I have some children's books on
like, sad, and savvy ads. And then online sources. There's my show a
lot of Hadith. Websites, a lot of the contents available on Hadith.
There's also great talks, I listened to one by which is a
really great talk Dr. On Mars today, man, Mashallah. He did he
has a series so I would definitely recommend listening to that one. i
Is it the first I don't know if that's the title of it? I'm sorry.
The first? Yeah, he is he did it on different, like Sahabas have
yet so Michelle, very rich information. Yeah, Dr. Rania as we
know about the roles of women outside of motherhood. But for me,
it's been challenging to learn about Sahaba during their
pregnancies and, and challenges other than the story of ESMA. And
mme, it is a blessing, but there are mental physical challenges in
which our culture would minimize them. Are there any resources for
that? Also, does medicine offer therapy or care for postpartum
depression? Absolutely, absolutely. I can probably talk
about postpartum depression forever SubhanAllah. And how much
our cultures and ourselves particularly even as women, but
I'll also say all people, including doctors, I can't tell
you how many doctors don't believe in postpartum depression. It's the
strangest weirdest thing. I'm like, how did you graduate from
medical school and you don't know that postpartum depression is
real. Sometimes it's their own lives as physicians that they're
saying,
Get over it. But do you mean get over it? Have you not studied
that, particularly, I'm gonna go into whole schpeel. Now forgive
me. But certain mental health conditions are biologically
connected. Postpartum depression is absolutely one of those because
it is hormonally based more often than not other types of sometimes
in the postpartum depression itself, or other forms of
depression. Anxiety can also have environmental causes. So if you're
living in some really difficult circumstances, think about all
kinds of things that kind of really cause you anxiety and
difficulty could also cause you postpartum depression after the
birth of the child. Or now we mostly call it Peri Partum
Depression, even within the pregnancy and after it. Or if it's
biological, and it's not genetic, and it's not environmental, it
could be actually cognitive, it could be spiritual, it could be
many different things, actually. But to me, it's so amazing that we
get so stuck on these things can't possibly be true, when in reality,
the very same hormones that allow that baby to be in the mother's
womb and carried for all those months, is also are the same
hormones implicated in postpartum depression. If you believe
pregnancy can happen, then you believe postpartum depression can
happen to plummeting of those hormones causes some woman to
experience postpartum depression. We had I don't know how many of
you saw the Father. How many do we have in the room over 300? Yeah,
the stats are one in four women experienced postpartum depression.
Now count off 123
There are so many women in this room alone plus all of our sisters
online we see you in here and we love you Mashallah. Who also have
experienced postpartum depression their life. So when woman negate
that I'm like, hold on, you know, your own sisters and yourselves.
This is very common, the quicker that we could actually get
over this issue, and be there as a support for each other, the better
we're all going to be for it. The better that we say to our own
daughters and our own sisters snuck out of it or shame on you,
Allah gave you a kid, how dare you be upset? I would have enough.
These are real things that happen. And so, in short, yes, Mara
standard handlers are a local, Islamic nonprofit, that dedicated
dedicated to mental health, and actually integrating Islam into
the therapy. It offers all kinds of therapy and support and handed
up professional by those who are trained professional therapists,
the booth is at the back, I think, sister to meet us or somebody
somewhere and can answer your questions in sha Allah. But also,
please know that is also virtual. So again, for the state of
California, anybody in the state of California can access that
care. And also, please know that we also make sure that it's
financially available MCC has been a wonderful partner, we're able to
have financial support for those who can't afford the therapy. And
I encourage everybody to get that support. Even if it's not
postpartum depression, even family counseling for your own kids. If
it's academic support, that people are struggling with testing
anxiety, let's say or whatever kinds of difficulties, please get
the help folks. Now back to the sister who's asking what can I do
about the stories related to pregnancy? That seems that I was
very clear about the story that I told about say that Amina the
mother of the Prophet salallahu Salam, what she experienced was a
miracle.
Are we clear about that?
The Prophet salallahu Salam is entirely a miracle. And so
clearly, his pregnancy was going to be a miracle to the fact that
she didn't feel the heaviness that a woman feels when carrying the
child or the difficulty that comes with it. Or the very mere fact
that when he was born, he didn't have any of the Filipino the stuff
the fluids that are on a baby, he didn't even have that when he was
born, the whole thing is on the line instead of the whole story is
a miracle. So clearly, that's different than any one of us.
Right? And yeah, pregnancy stuff.
And I too wish that our cultures and our communities would stop
minimizing the difficulty that actually comes with it. And also
the struggles and pains of infertility, their struggles and
pains all throughout whether having children or not having
them. And so
what do we do, we support each other. And we understand that
Allah subhanaw taala actually allows for
us to understand the wisdom behind either the challenges or the ease
that Allah gives us every one of those pregnancies is different, or
the lack of them is something also challenges and difficulties that
Allah has given us to help us through into that next stage. But
a lot of that comes with wisdom. And I hope you'll find the people
along your path and shell a lot of help you understand those wisdom
in Shell.
You mentioned that semiotic Allahu Allah made a sacrifice giving away
something that is valuable for something that you recognize as
clearly more valuable. But how do we reach the state where we can
achieve those sacrifices in our daily lives if necessary for us
when pertaining to our deen? Especially when it seems so hard
at times? Is there anything that we can do to achieve that level of
Taqwa to Zakka? Lafayette, I really loved your talk.
Exactly, I played on his shoulder when I reached that level of
dukkha. I'll share my tips.
We're all struggling, right? We're all on a journey. Nobody is
perfect. Nobody has got it all figured out.
So when we're talking about trying to reach a particular stage of
taqwa, I don't think any of us has like, okay, next Thursday, I'm
gonna be done in sha Allah. I'll be you know, like, I've reached
that stage. Right? So what do we do when we are faced with some
sort of struggle or a sacrifice? I think the the biggest thing that I
would suggest, obviously after there are and turning to Allah and
making sincere to our to Allah, is also make sure you have a support
system. A lot of people go through these things alone.
They feel maybe embarrassed that
maybe they feel like the thing that I'm going through is trivial.
So they trivialize it. And they feel embarrassed because they
think other people are going through worse, what do I have to
complain about? And so they don't seek support. Or they feel like
nobody in the world could possibly understand what I'm going through.
I've got it so terribly,
that they just feel like they feel hopeless, right? And we don't want
to be on either extremes. And we ask Allah, Allah to protect us
always seek support. You look at the lives of the prophets or the
Messiah to set up. They sought support, right? We look at Musa
salah, right when Allah tasks him with going to fit around, he has
this entire conversation with Allah right? Allah shows him these
miracles. He's speaking directly with Allah right? Then Allah shows
him these amazing miracles. And then Allah tells him go to figure
out Moses
Um says okay let's go.
No he makes dua right first he makes DUA and then after he makes
out is as you say, Okay I'm going alone. No he says let my brother
come with me. Right and Allah Santella accept his dua Allah
doesn't say Didn't I just say I'm with you? Where are you as no
right so it's okay to seek support the prophesy send them sought
support right what is we know that the prophesy Silla may do that
your Allah Allah one of the two are mothers to accept Islam and or
not have been on hotpot was the one that Allah and Allah chose to
bless with guidance, right the prophesy someone sought support
support. So that's the first thing that I would suggest. And really,
the main thing I would suggest is seek support, I can guarantee that
a lot of the sacrifices and the difficulties that we go through
somebody has probably gone through something similar, if not the
exact same thing, right. So, uh, talk to your sisters in the
community, get to know your sisters reach out to professionals
if you need to, but don't go it alone. Okay, keep your dollars
with Allah. Keep Allah close to you. Ask Allah for help. But also
seek support from your community from the sisters who love you may
pray them also until he makes it easy for us all to reach a level
of Taqwa that he's pleased with.
Sure, just quickly, just like y'all had an excellent advice and
I just wanted to echo everything you just said as far as support
systems, and hamdullah we are so blessed blessed to this community
to have mashallah Dr. Rania medicine and this organization
that provides professional services. But here at MCC two,
we're also headed in that direction of trying to really
create support systems that are, you know, more just for those who
don't really are not ready, maybe perhaps to to seek out or maybe
they are, they're doing it, you know, in conjunction with but they
want actual software. So we just recently with this within a couple
of months with here, the last Saturday of every month at MCC
from nine to 11am. In that room, myself and a few other sisters in
this community come together we read Quran, we do they care, we do
Salawat. And then at the end, we do something that is exactly
everything that was said that Pacino was talking about which is
seeking support, but in a very non intrusive way. It's just a It's
whatever whoever wants to share. And it's really just healing and
holding space with one another, listening to one another. And I'll
handle I've been doing this for a pretty long time. And I feel like
every single time we do those dos circles, where everybody kind of
just shares whatever's burdening them, I always get a lot of
feedback that I really needed this today, I needed to feel held by my
sisters heard, and then I feel like most of us uncomfortable. You
know, because I think women generally we tend to know the
solutions to our problems, right, which is why one of the biggest
complaints women have of their spouses is they're always trying
to solve their problems. And you're like, I don't want you to
solve my problem. I just want you to listen to me complain about my
problems. And I think validation, and really just having a
comforting voice. I mean, just even being up on this panel, I
feel so reassured when I can see like Michelle surface, and she's
been awesome. nodding her head, letting me know, yes, what you're
saying is resonating and or, you know, all of my co panelists, it's
very comforting to the human heart, right to be seen and to be
heard. And we're missing that that's the bottom line, we are so
disconnected as a community. And the problem is, is we come into a
lot of these spaces, because of the pressures of white being
perfect at everything. Being a super woman, I have to have it
handled, that we are leading with a with the facade and the persona,
that we want people to think of us and to find spaces where we can
just be real and raw without judgment. And you you share at
your own discretion. So there's no expectation to share, but there is
permission to share. So I invite all of you if you would like it's
open, there's no commitment required. But I we created this
program specifically for this to create places of software. So may
Allah give us all you know, support and let us all come
together in sha Allah. This is beautiful sisterhood.
And that's why we love that I have a foundation and we love Jana
Institute and we love all of our female led organizations because
this is what they're doing. And I just I love the Katya app. Yes.
Yes. All right, thank you. Stella. Madame is next couple of questions
regarding can women follow the Janessa and watch the burial of
their loved ones and can pregnant women go to the cemetery and also
going for Hajj or Umrah wild any faster? Hey, what are some
resources about figuring out how to do that?
And I know you're you have a book coming out in six months in sha
Allah
It's all up. So with regards to just because we're we don't we're
not giving a whole class, I won't give you all the different
opinions and the reasonings. Why I'll just give you the base
answer. Yes, it is permissible to follow the Janessa. And to attend
the burial, pregnancy Medicis, none of those have weighed on
whether or not you do that, that includes washing the body, you
don't need to not be on your period to be do so. However, let
me just say, you are going to see a difference of opinion sometimes
from scholars. And I'm not going into all the details of that right
now, just because of this, this the reality. But the point is that
there are going to be some of the same exact texts are understood
differently by different scholars and different men that have So
yes, there are going to be scholars who say that it is
impermissible, and then there are other scholars who refute that and
they provide their proofs on why it is permissible, amongst which
the Prophet saw them past a woman who was upset emotionally at the
grave of her son. And she didn't realize it was the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he reminded her to be patient and she
spoke disrespectfully, just in the moment of her grief and publicly
Salam didn't tell her you're, you're not allowed to be here.
He's a legislator of law. He is an incumbent upon him to make that
clarification. So hello, my name is Simone. If someone is in the
middle of doing something that's not that's not correct. And he
sees it solo and I showed it live on how she went and visited the
grave of her brother rule the Allahu Anhu. And then a companion
saw her and asked about specifically, aren't women not
supposed to be going, and I'm just super summarizing this. But she
responded she asked the province to summon another narration, what
should she say when she goes to visit the grave? The prophesy
centum taught her what to say. So these are all evidences on women
going visiting the grave, there are a number of them from the
Sahaba yet that exists. And that came after the initial
prohibition, and then the order to go with the recommendation to go.
Other scholars who would disagree with this are going to look at
those later narrations and give reasonings are solely local on how
only visited her brother because he couldn't she couldn't attend
the gym as a for example, they're going to give their reasonings on
why no actually this is not meant for all women. This is specific
circumstance. Do you see where I'm coming with? Like how the scholars
look at it differently? So I can't go into it more here. But the
point is, there is ample evidence to allow for it to be done with
regards to the menses question. Yes, so to go into Hajj or Umrah
you don't, the only part you absolutely need to be in will do
it. You can get into your fram on your period, you can do the other
rights on your period, but you cannot make pull off. However, if
you're in touch, or aamra. And you're only going to be there a
few days and you don't live, you know, an hour or two hours away
that you can just, you know, be at home for a certain amount of
hours. Excuse me, nevermind, I won't say that part. Ignore what I
just said. The point is not everyone's group can just stay
longer until a woman's period is done. That's just not realistic
today. And so if you are not able to make Amara without being pure
from your period, then Ibn Taymiyah and a number of other
scholars mentioned that yes, you can make the tawaf on your period
because you don't have another choice. There's a discussion on
whether or not a woman needs to give a sacrifice for that it don't
say Potamia opinion is not but there's other discussions on
whether or not it should be done. So if you're going to go for Hajj
or Umrah I would recommend reaching out to your Hajj or Umrah
group, although now you can go on your own so maybe that doesn't
exist. I can't tell you a a source that I know of in English if
anyone knows please share it that's why part of the book that
from dilla it finished writing Mr. Bond has a whole section on this
just because I couldn't find it in English and shall I pray will be
beneficial in a year inshallah. But if anyone has resources
Sumati Alikum Calaca. Make dua that the book comes out and it's
pleasing to Allah a couple of couple of points for the ladies.
When there is a different opinion, what you need to do is you need to
respect both.
It doesn't matter which one you follow. And I say this to myself,
remember who are who I am. To argue.
Far away there is two things about Janaza. There's following the
Janaza and then being in the graveyard site during the barrier
and then there is visiting the graveyard afterwards there's three
things you have to separate.
Now it all depends upon the scholars who tells you you you are
allowed to what you are going to be doing there.
I don't know if you have been there. I have been there. It's one
of the hardest things you'll see is when you put your loved one in
a grave. If you don't think you can obey Allah subhanaw taala in
that moment, and don't go
if you can, and it's a reminder this is actually why he allowed it
and later on Rasul Allah He sought to sin he said it could have been
a hitman zero to obofour Zulu ha but not to the Quran can be
accurate I prevented you from visiting the graveyards now go
because it reminds you of the afghan. So if the woman is going
to go composed, dearest pleasing to Allah Santana I attended one
And I said to myself now I know why some scholar says don't go
and I am a woman.
So if you are gonna go pleasing Allah subhanaw taala dress code
actions, what are you doing? Then? Yes, you can follow that opinion.
If you cannot obey Allah in whatever the way it is, then don't
go
because you are starting something, others may follow you
and then you need to answer to Allah subhanaw taala. So, you need
to know this two opinion Both are valid. As standard Merriam said
the discussion is, is this is valid, this is valid, but you as a
person when you are there, what are you going to be doing?
I attended one younger woman, they were putting her in the grave, and
people were doing selfie
I attended. It's not I heard, I did see it.
And then I said, No, I know what some scholar says don't do it.
Dr. Amina, can you share a bit about how women who converted in
secret even hiding their faith from their husbands manifested
their day to day practice of Islam? So how do they take care of
their obligations? Do we know? So spend a lot the time on federal
the law on her actually a lot of the pillars of Islam that we have
now were mandated the second year of hijra, so she had been Muslim
for a long time, and what we don't like, again, kind of what I think
we all kind of talked about this the first 13 years. And Mecca was
who was the last panel and who are you like when you look at the
Meccan Quran, which is the overwhelming majority of put in,
it's about good character and it's about good ethics. And the reason
I think this is so important is like there's the Hadith of the
prophets I said and when he says I said there were not many Muslims
do you know who was broke?
And they said they are also more the one that doesn't that hum
Allahu Allah dinar doesn't have any dollars or cents.
And he said, No, he's a person that prays and fasted and then
comes the Day of Judgment, they insulted so and so and they did
they hit so and so they did, like Subhan Allah, you lose all of your
good deeds that way. So part of first and foremost grounding
ourselves and ethics panela at the time, they didn't the salon they
used to pray once in the morning and once in the evening, and it
was only two o'clock as and they would only the fasting that they
would do because like if you're trying to hide your iman, those
are the two major things you would get and they had to fast the day
of alpha, then the Ramadan was not mandatory yet. I've had a lot of
friends that would tell me stories of praying in the closet.
And I know other people are like, oh, you can't pray in the
bathroom. That was the only place that it was private enough.
For them to be able to pray, they just closed the toilets, like if
you can, if you can worship freely, thank Allah for that.
Because you don't realize how incredible an opportunity that is
Subhan Allah, if someone can, like May Allah protect us, if someone
leaves a stem, or someone actually becomes Muslim, they usually do it
during their college years. And there's so many people I don't
know, like, we can't tell our parents, we won't, we won't be
able to go to go to college anymore.
So there's a lot of very real implications in people's lives.
And especially like Subhanallah you don't know, if you don't know
how your family is going to react, you try it bit by bit. And you
take your time with it and you seek counsel, and you do your
best.
It's probable I mean, I especially like there's I mean right now the
stakes are do I get to graduate from college or not? Do I have
financial support or not? There are people may Allah protect us as
literally your life is on the line if you become Muslim.
And Allah protect us from that, can I add something about the Hajj
no one has their period for the two whole two weeks of Hajj.
Like for can you that you can't. And unfortunately, the most
popular opinion out there is like just take the pills for you to
take the pills where it regulates your period enough. You have to
take them for three months, which means that before Ramadan, you
started taking them. The overwhelming majority of women
don't do that. And if you go and you miss one, and then you start
spotting, and then people get confused, and now they're
frustrated and they're like, am I praying? Am I not praying? Like it
just it frustrates me because of the way it's told us like oh, just
go take care of that. Go be less woman and hatch. You don't have to
be any less woman at hunch.
Like, it just it's so like 100 Thank you. I went when I wouldn't
like I was I was in a really large group and I'm telling the the male
scholars oh my gosh, are the women that are still on their periods,
just send them to me. Because I was also still just I was still on
my period I was waiting till I was done. And then I took the group we
did our ombre and then if you get like there's more Mariamman are
working on scenarios. Hopefully we can have a publish before next had
to that would be great for sha Allah.
But really and hamdulillah like there's there's ways to talk about
and there's ways to figure it out. And if in the extreme case that
you got your period the morning read, just missed the time when
the lock became mandatory, and you can't you're not going to finish
before you leave because you're bleeding more than seven days.
Then okay now then you can take the exception but for the over
warming. It's like a statistical anomaly that that would actually
happen. Not not to get too nerdy
All right, so Dr. Haifa
Can I call the event in my home when no one else is home? Maybe
the Medion would love to demonstrate an event for us. Can I
call the event in my home and my teenage son is home but doesn't
want to do it?
Why do you want to do it?
What was after ask yourself why do you want to invent the wheel?
anymore? Sahabi at the time of Roswell is sought to sound had a
beautiful voice
and said Aisha couldn't stand up and do Hurghada.
Why do you want to do it? I think this is something we women really
need to so one of the speakers don't fall in that trap.
Is they didn't do it. Don't do it. You know what I would worry about?
Worry about your quality of solder.
Worry about your whole shoe.
Worry about what you're reading in the solder. Why do you want to do
the other?
And if your son doesn't want to do it, guess what? How many apps
that's it with a Adan these days.
I attended recently a whole the whole house had done,
honestly. And I was like, Where is this coming from? And they just
showed me the phone.
And there was connected to all their speakers.
Don't waste your energy, my beautiful sisters in things that
may not get me to Jana.
And I said may not focus on things for sure. Guaranteed.
I don't have a lot of life to live or 1000s of hours.
This different opinion about two in general the woman is not
supposed to call for a done. So why do I want to do it?
Period. You want to practice your voice? Memorize opera
seven mme, a lot of times in conferences and lectures, we get
the push to make a change in the OMA and make a difference. I
really admire all the people starting institutions and leading
organizations but I feel spread thin just from focusing on raising
a righteous family. Being a good wife dealing with family issues
and keeping up with my own Dean, how can I do it all like your
doctor, right? He's gonna answer this.
We could tell that we could tell the doctor Rania, we could tell
the story of
Dr. Rania tell the story of early first women's need intensive.
So we want it we want I'll tell I'll start the story. But then she
can talk about how she juggles. And a lot of it has to do with
support.
But we I mean, you guys see the pretty side of us coming to the
conference, like we had to plan dinner, you know, our spouses
hamdulillah are supportive in that, you know, they're taking on
responsibilities that we would otherwise do. We don't say they're
babysitting, because we are both parents, to our children, all of
the things that you had to do, and I talked about this, that starting
at two o'clock, we gave sisters a chance to like make a good
breakfast, or brunch, you know, finish your laundry, do the
grocery shopping, and then come rest at MCC while you listen to
your program, we the same thing happens on the other side of the
stage sisters have to travel, you know, make plans come from
different areas. So all of the logistical things, but I think for
a lot of our teachers, the the intention, wanting to do and serve
the community, putting whatever a lot facilitates for us is what we
do.
You know, can't always be at every program at every talk, I feel
every request, but just trying to be open to everything that we can
do. And I know a lot of amazing sisters who are doing work in the
community that nobody knows about, whether it's feeding people,
providing them groceries, watching children, you know,
so just to facilitate somebody else, being able to do what they
want. It's happening everywhere, with a lot of silent soldiers that
nobody hears about, you know, all of that is happening. So don't
minimize what you are doing. As long as you're doing something.
And you have to ask yourself, what is like Dr. HyperX says, you know,
not what I want to do, but what is Allah subhanaw taala opening up
for me to do? What is that path that allows punch that is made
easy for me and do that and just go with it? Because there's a lot
of things that you may think are better than other things but you
don't know what Allah subhanaw taala how he's created your path
to Jannah and so, just walk whatever path Allah opens for you
and inshallah it will get you to where we all want to be, which is
inshallah with Allah subhanaw taala and our beloved Prophet
Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam chillin in the jedna, heavy drinking milk
and eaten honey. And inshallah that's what we want we want to be
together anyhow.
Dr. Ahn, you know, knowing that was perfect
Allahu Akbar
istead of Siena? How do you suggest finding balance between
sacrificing time in this dunya and making time to build your Africa?
Balancing the career and seeking knowledge?
Oh, that's an interesting one.
So, how much time do we have?
Yeah, we actually we don't we only have seven minutes. Okay, so I'm
gonna give you a three minute answer. Or try. Here's the thing,
right?
It's a very broad question, because there's this idea that
they're kind of mutually exclusive. There's also this idea,
a lot of the times I think when we see speakers on the stage, and we
hear so much about what they've done, we don't realize that this
is years, years of work, right.
The other thing is everybody's situation is different, right? So
what one person is able to do with the resources Allah has blessed
them with, another person may not be able to do they've got other
talents that the Law Center has given them.
Also, even as an individual, right, I'm gonna ask you all a
question, raise your hand, if your entire life has always been the
same. Nothing's ever, ever changed in your life, nothing has been
just permanently the same. Alright, most people are not like
that, right?
You're, you might be single than you're married, you might have
kids you might be working, then you're staying at home, right
people situations change. And so we have to allow our
actions to kind of mold and to to kind of go with the flow, if you
will, right. I'll give you a personal example. For example,
when I started the column seminar in 2015, it was a one year
program, they they have a five year linear program. Now they
don't have any or they didn't have it at the time. So I did the I did
a year of Arabic, then I did a year of seminary, these were all
full time I wasn't working, right. Then I realized I have to pay
bills. So I should probably get myself a job and get back to work.
Then Callum started their five year i Let me a probe. And I was
like, This is amazing, I'd really like to be able to do this. But
honestly, I can't afford to take five years off of work and study
full time. I just can't, it's not something I can afford to do. So
what I did is I joined different institutions that do part time
classes that I can do online, that's around the time when I did
my head, I did my job ads and the ads, and so forth, right? So you
have to allow yourself to find a way based on your situation, you
have to be practical, right? You're not going to race around
like I did a, I did a master's degree in Islamic Studies during
COVID. And the only reason I was able to do it is because of COVID
where the university is in London, and they decided to offer their
classes online. Because of COVID. It's been my dream to go to this
university and study there. I was like, I can't afford to quit my
job and move to London. And that also
made it easy for me.
Oh, from University of London, they have a department called sue
us. So I did my master's degree from there. But it was easy
because all I had to do was 7am to 9am I would take a class, and then
I'd go get to work. And I did that for a year. Right? So a lot of
times I will open doors for you. Your job is to never lose touch,
do whatever you can. That's practical, that fits your
schedule, right? Don't Don't say okay, I have to memorize Quran in
six months, I have to master the Arabic language in three months I
have to quit my job and leave my family and move abroad. What works
for one person doesn't work for the other person what works for
you won't work for other people and so forth. Right? So I think
that's what it is, is you have to prioritize you have to be
balanced, but don't lose touch. Right? We have so many
organizations and such now Alhamdulillah that offer different
courses and stuff you'll find something that works for you make
dua to Allah that Allah Subhana Allah will make it easy and you
will find things that you can do we
also keep knocking at the door sometimes like if you want to
study the door doesn't open and then you get frustrated. I
remember I was taking Malachy Fick with chickens and it was like the
hot upper Tata per Tata per I think I took the same book like
four or five times because it was the only one that was being
offered at the time in the area and I wasn't able to go abroad to
study and so I went and did the worst thing ever. I went to share
counseling complaint
And I say Hamza, you know, it's kind of like, I'm doing the same
book over and over again. And I feel like, you know, I wish I
could go, I was complaining because I couldn't go anywhere to
study. And he said, you know, there are people who want to
study. And there are people who want to want to study.
And he said, check your intention. Maybe you want to want to study,
which means like, you want to be part of that group that wants to
study, but you don't actually firmly have an intention to study.
And then I was like,
Okay.
And then we got a resident scholar
from the country I wanted to study in. And then we got another one.
And then we got another one. And so Hamdulillah, he brought that to
my attention, and set me straight.
This one's for you, Dr. Rania. So you can have the mic. You
mentioned blended families just have children become mme? Do you
need to wear a veil around stepchildren or adopted children
to husband, siblings, parents and children become your mom?
So all the fifth questions will show up? Well, kind of I'm going
to take the approach that a southern medium took and say that
there actually are some differing opinions related to the nuanced
questions because these are multiple, I don't even think I
caught them all right there. But all the different questions, I
think I want to go back to the more important piece of this and
then tell you references and resources where you can learn more
about the specific case, the reason for that is, it has a lot
to do with the agents of what these children come into the
family, it has to do with whether they were nursed or not, there are
so many different pieces to this particular question. And so it's
probably not going to make a whole lot of sense to do a little fifth
lesson right at this very moment. But the broader question that I
think is maybe fueling, perhaps some of this is the concept of
blended families. And I was talking about the household of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and how there were
multiple, multiple different people in that household,
particularly, I mean, the one where he after he's married with
the citizen of South Asia, but you'll have more on her. And of
course, there's her children. There are at the time, like we
said, adopted son, and then unless punctata clarify that adoption is
different than biological children. So they've been handed
the there is suits in America that we talked about today. There's
also and then her children that have come into the picture, right.
And then there is, of course, the, say, Daddy, so his own cousin,
right, who is brought into the household as well, and then his
own children. So what I meant by the blended families that you have
so many different today, this is what we call this term, we call it
a blended family in which you have different people from different
families that are all are different, you know, that are not
necessarily all related to each other who are living in one
household. And I think the bigger part of the question here is, how
do you keep that kind of peaceful atmosphere with so many different
types of people, when sometimes Panama, even with biological
people all related to you, it's hard to keep any peace at all. So
Panama. And I think what I'll end on since that, you know, I said,
the earlier part of references is really has to do with learning the
thick of the rules, right? The actual rules related to the nuance
of your particular family. If you are in a blended family or hope to
one day be, you're considering that for yourself, is to
definitely seek out your teacher, you know, the filk teacher of your
community, the person who can answer those nuanced questions for
you as one important place. Secondly, to learn for yourself
too, because this comes down to our own floods, ie knowledge
about, you know, it really comes down to understanding lineage and
understanding who's related to who and who was a mahtim. To who,
which is really important because then it comes into the rules that
you cover in front of the person do not, is this person considered
like your brother, sister or not? Can I marry them? Can my children
marry these people and so on and so forth. So it's actually pretty
important roles here. And they're all taught in the science of film,
or Islamic law. So I hope inshallah you'll if it's inspired
you to take some of these classes that are offered, as we were
saying, find the opening inshallah and the place to learn them for
yourself. So seek out a teacher who can answer the question for
your nollans learn for yourself and take some of the questions
some of the classes yourself Inshallah, if you haven't already.
And thirdly, if you are in a blended family or part of it, or
have those extended to you that are part of that, do seek out the
kind of support and help and this is my plug up the plug in again,
of kind of getting that therapy and support and help when needed
because this is not an easy situation. We said the prophets
households a little body was Saddam was the most peaceful and
happy household of the entire region.
They had the prophets of Allah to send them
right, the one who had the perfect of all creation who taught us how
to be have the kind of edit and with the kind of wisdom and
treatment of each other. Today you would call interpersonal
relations. If we can learn that prophetic model from the Sunnah of
the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. All of us would do better. And
until that's the case, we all need some help martial law and if you
are not able to figure this out on your own, this is where the Quran
tells us. Ask the people of knowledge if you do not know it.
that could come in the form of our teachers or counselors for
potentially also those who have professionally studied marriage
and family counseling that can be in the form of professional
therapists who are Muslim hopefully drawing from the Sunnah
as well. So that's my plug. And Mara Stan is on the corner Henshaw
So seek out that kind of support and help at nanoparticle wealthy
go to second lecture, we did get a number of questions about just big
questions about like, you know, the baby's female and urinates on
you things like that. There's a lot of big questions out again, I
would just reiterate and say, take a take a good class, it'll take,
it'll walk you through all of those scenarios, and then you'll
feel confident when you're worshiping last month and I think
that's one of the best things about taking time to study the
basics, especially to Hatha because it's everyday stuff is
that you just worship with confidence. And then you don't
have that in the background wondering, Am I doing this right?
It's just clarity Hamdulillah.
Before I asked the speakers to give us ways to contact them, we
have two more questions. I used to wear hijab, I don't anymore due to
past trauma, I've been contemplating wearing it again.
But I have dealt with the past sexual assaults and other trauma,
it's difficult to reconcile the trauma with my deen and hijab.
things within the deen can be triggering, while I try while I
try to work past it.
Your advice? So how long? This is something I always say to myself,
and we all have to do this May Allah Subhana Allah make us always
keys for higher and not keys for the opposite, obviously. I mean, I
think Allahu Allah, that this person, the trauma came from a
religious person, or quote, unquote, practicing personal
Lanos. And this is where the trauma is. This is very difficult
situation. There is no answer will be given in a one minute. For
this. We need to talk this person needs definitely counseling,
professional counseling
to get over the trauma. And of course, Rania is way more
professional than me and knowledgeable in this case, but
you need to have counseling to get over the trauma itself first. Yes,
the trauma isn't related to religion, but also the you have
the trauma in there. So this needs to be taken care of. And then the
second thing is the hijab related to that, and we need to dig into
it. Why is that? But if I want to just give a general answer, it's
probably not going to be enough for that person. But for
everybody,
this is what I will say always, when you have a hard time
forgiving someone which we all have.
I always remind myself of this, how many times I have disobeyed
allah
how many major sins I have committed? Major I'm not talking
about mine, myself.
And everybody say the same question. But he's still feed me
and he's still give me a roof. And he's still waiting for me to say a
stuff federal law and he still wants me to go to Jana.
Why I can do it.
She thinks this way. It will the the road for forgiveness will be
much easier. And there is a dua in the Quran actually, which happened
as a side note Omar used it later on and this could have been a
letter to Colombina regional Athena, your Allah don't put in
our hearts, any ill feeling grudges hate to any of the
believers. Anytime you look at someone and that someone she or he
have heard to do Allah knows what they did. Say that dua it works
wonder
is who is going to clear your heart. So only Allah subhanaw
taala but that person definitely needs way more than what I just
said May Allah span and make a lot of dua to everybody. And you make
dua for your soul at a loss pantalla Helio healing is not easy
Subhanallah unless you're really connected with Allah subhanaw
taala you're really at that level where you don't see anything but
you see Allah subhanaw taala May Allah make it easy for her
so I just
installed a hash, so that it's a half of it is we're living in a
jar or member idemia coluna TSOP BANA Lata Jai fue colo Bina
relearn realtyna Armano
Obernai in Nicaragua for Rohingya Allah don't put in our hearts ill
feeling really is hatred with anger. Both the Latina Amina
toward the believers. So that tells you a believer can hurt you
can lead to hatred in your heart. And then you say urbanite in
Nicaragua. Hey, you're all merciful.
And so I want him to forgive me, then I need to do it with other
people. It's an I will check the number. I'll give it to you. I'm
sorry.
I attend candelabra with the eyes in the middle of the verse. It's
not the beginning of the verse. Exactly. Love
it.
So we're
actually dealing with a case where it's not from a Muslim person at
all. So there's a different there's, there's two points on the
put enrollers, trying to find the talks about hijab, one of it. And
sort of to note where it's talking about modesty. And as long as it
actually talks about identity. And I think it's important to
distinguish the two, because if they're like, I'm just going to
play any money I had did research about this, the spikes in
Islamophobia are actually during presidential elections. It's not
actually related to terrorist attacks or anything like this,
because it is more about the rhetoric. And my my sister at the
time, when the election was going on back in 2015 2016. She lived in
Kansas, she has four kids.
The answer to her I think, is different from an answer to me, I
don't have any kids, this is my job. I live on a college campus
like you, you do have to use some judgment, if the idea is fear. And
if that is the case, because you do have you do have responsibility
to protect your own life, like this is, this is part of our
Shediac. But even within that, because I feel like there's a fear
because hijab affects our identity.
Make sure that if like, like you can tie it backwards, you can wear
a cap, you can do so many different things. Because
ultimately, at the end of the day, I need to face a loss kind of
fantasy did my best. And because this affects our identity, may
Allah protect us a lot of the times I see someone that would we
take off their hijab and feel like that was what was holding them.
And then it feels like everything kind of just let go.
So how do I then maintain things and collect them? Because modesty,
in and of itself is one of is a is a part of our faith.
And it's sometimes it's embodied in hijab it is embodied in so many
different other ways as well. And I think that's important, too,
just to know that
had another thought.
That's past my bedtime, guys. I'm sorry.
No, this was the other thing. It really, really frustrates me in
the Muslim community when women are told you wear hijab, so you
don't attract the men. This is our act of worship, how they make it
about them.
Like I just I don't
have hijab is our act of worship to remember, we're more important
spiritually than we are physically.
Your intention is important, because people in society tell us
this is based on your value. And we're like, no, no, I'm more
valuable because Allah said, I'm valuable.
And this is our act of worship. So your intention is important. The
there is a
there's a lot of victim blaming, that really makes me mad. That
anytime there is these, like, these unfortunate incidents, like
what was she wearing? Who freakin cares.
She's not the one that perpetrated a crime.
And it just really, really, really makes me mad when people tried to
associate those two things, we really have to work hard to
disassociate those two things, because they're idiots online that
are seeing these things. And as we have to make sure that we're
actually correcting those narratives, and that we do
actually have healthy relationships with our bodies and
healthy relationships with their hijab and we feel spiritually
uplifted, wearing our hijab. And when someone is struggling with
their Muslim identity, that we have grace with them of like you
tell me what's going on with you spiritually. I remember I had a
student that came to me and she said, I haven't prayed in three
months do I take off my hijab? I feel like a hypocrite.
And I was like, really? I think you should start praying I don't
think you should think they're two separate acts of worship you don't
know what brings you back to a bar.
And can you imagine someone be like well if you didn't pray,
well, you might as well not pray on us. That doesn't make sense.
You do as much as you can on the last 100 that are in the Hadith
the Prophet place and so suddenly do what God who
just really fill as many of the gaps as you can get as close as
you can. None of us are making an agenda because he did it all.
Nobody
you make it to gender because Allah is merciful
including the prophets lies and I'm like really? Can anyone
worship like him? He said in any document any parameter except that
ALLAH envelops me in his mercy Subhan Allah you nobody is
deserving. Allah is generous.
Pamela sorry, I know I went on a rant but I just may Allah protect
us all.
Yes, we're going to just do a tell us how you can how you can be
contacted. So just how can we contact you after today? The
Stanford website that my my emails on their
social media, okay.
So easiest way to contact me is Instagram or Facebook, although as
somebody who's on Facebook anymore. No, I'm kidding. I'm
still there. But I'm much more active on Instagram and then my
email events dot host sigh my first [email protected] It's always
open as well.
I'm notoriously difficult to contact. I really don't use social
media.
If you send me a message on Facebook, I'll never read it.
Because it goes into that other inbox. You know, like, if you're
not friends with someone, everyone's like, What the heck is
Facebook? I don't do Instagram or Tik Tok or any of that stuff. So
if you really want to get in contact with me send me an email
is my first name.my last [email protected] Make sure you spell
for Cena and Mohammed the way I spell for Cena and Mohammed.
Otherwise I don't know who is going to.
So it's fu s e i n a dot m o h a m [email protected] Okay, if you spell
either of those wrong, Allahu
Allah insha Allah you can get hold of me through the different
organizations that I'm part of so whether it's medicine or whether
it's through the document Foundation, or just come see me on
Friday nights inshallah once we started our holiday because doc,
the next month, and Charlotte's Adha also, like the others that
have the social media accounts that I was very much dragged into.
There are messages that are checked out often by myself that
are checked there, that you can send to and inshallah we'll try to
get back to you within now. But just know that it is a team of
people that are getting back to those. So everything is kept
confidential, but you are able to reach there. I know some people
have asked about trying to find emails, I'm notoriously bad with
emails, but if you do send through the DMS, the direct messages or
send through the organizations that then forward, hopefully,
you'll be able to reach me with enough but it's much better to
just find me in person. I look forward to see you all on Friday
nights to help
you kid send me a message on at the Miriam Amir, th e ma ry am AMI
er that's on Instagram, or Tiktok. But more importantly, you can also
simply connect with my app. It's a cue card QR code here. Anyone who
hasn't downloaded it can simply take a screenshot. And you can
download it right now. So go ahead and do that. Shala let me know if
you have one of these. Take them to your communities, take them to
your local Hello shops, anywhere you'd like spray. Until next year,
it's going to be interactive where you can recite with the audience
inshallah.
Can I also say that I spent like my entire Ramadan listening to the
audio, like it was literally so beautiful to recite along with
other women who are reciting it reminded me so much of my days
spent in Syria with women who are hopeful that they'll put on and
Hafi lots of the Quran and women who are leading in prayer like
that was our that was that was our reality all the time. And I was
not selling most of the money and I didn't realize how many women
have never actually experienced that because I haven't met women
who have memorized to put out an elite prayer with a woman that is
and are just even like the Yama leaves we do them with Rama
foundation. Hopefully all of you have enjoyed them. But also here
right in this very room over here. We've done so many nights all
night long and pm all with women reciters but what do you do when
you're home alone? But Katya
today not so please do download that I think it's so worth your
time in sha Allah
Yeah.
You can find me I'm sure you can.
You can reach me through email is Dr. Haifa at Jana institute.org.
You can find me on Instagram. It's Torah, she Haifa. Jonas, that's
you will find the URL. You can send me a message. I'll do my best
to answer I don't promise it's going to be right away. So please
forgive me. If you call me good luck. If you text me another good
luck, right?
But May Allah make it easy? I mean, you all have to know that we
have so many things to do, right. Go and visit our website Jenner
institute.com.