Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart for Muslimahs (Monthly Sisterhood Halaqa Part 9)

Hosai Mojaddidi
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The success of Islam is measured by the framework of "slackiness," which is constantly updated and evolving. The success of Islam is measured by the need for practice and personal reflection, and it is not a monolith. Prducedity is the main driver of success, and individuals need to avoid harming themselves and others.

AI: Summary ©

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			Smart modern humans have the level
so that was salam ala i should be
		
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			able to look silly and say that
our Molano Have you been on
		
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			hematol Allahu Allahu wa salam
while he was actually sort of the
		
00:00:08 --> 00:00:10
			Sleeman Kathira against Allah
Monica and Rahmatullahi Wa
		
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			Barakatuh. Everyone hamdulillah
thank you for being here. How many
		
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			are here for the first time? I've
never been here before? Okay,
		
00:00:17 --> 00:00:21
			awesome. Well, welcome, very happy
to have you all here, mashallah,
		
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			you'll find that because we do
these monthly, it's kind of like a
		
00:00:24 --> 00:00:27
			revolving door. But I'm perfectly
fine with that, because that's the
		
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			reason why I do it monthly. I
know, as women, we are usually
		
00:00:30 --> 00:00:32
			juggling and all over the place.
And there is the live stream
		
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			option when you're not here. So
feel free to come as you are,
		
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			whenever you can. But I'm happy to
have you here tonight, we are
		
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			reading from a text together
called purification of the heart.
		
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			So how many people have this book
at home? Okay, awesome. How many
		
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			people have actually read it?
		
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			Sometimes I know, I love books. So
I collect them. And unfortunately,
		
00:00:54 --> 00:00:56
			I don't read all of them. I
haven't read all of them yet, I
		
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			pray that that's my retirement
plan that I was gonna finally
		
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			read, all the awesome books that
I've been gifted are given. So
		
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			Alhamdulillah this is a book that
if you've read it before, then you
		
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			know, it's something that you can
keep revisiting to be honest. And
		
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			you should, because the process of
the scheme is something that we
		
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			have to be tending to just the
same way like you would a garden,
		
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			right, you're always you don't
just you know, put the soil and
		
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			water the plants and then just
leave them to themselves, you have
		
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			to go back and check on them and
make sure they're okay and is a
		
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			sunlight good is kind of
adjustments right here and there.
		
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			Similarly, we have to attend to
our spiritual hearts in the same
		
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			way, in that there's too many
things in this dunya that can
		
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			corrode the heart. So we have to
constantly make sure it's okay.
		
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			Right? If you look at just the
intensity of this dunya, the, you
		
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			know, all of the things that's
going on globally, with everything
		
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			that's happened in the past two
and a half years that aside,
		
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			you know, just with our, the
trajectory of many of our lives,
		
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			right, we enter different phases.
So once you're out of the, you
		
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			know, that like the Garden of Eden
of childhood, and you suddenly
		
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			emerge in this world, and you
realize that it's a place that's
		
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			heavy, right, there's, there's a
lot of responsibility, there's a
		
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			lot of stress. And I was just
speaking to, with with the
		
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			therapist the other day, and she
was saying that stress is now one
		
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			of the morbidities of amongst
youth that it's you know, that
		
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			they could have a lot of things
going on for their in their life,
		
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			you know, in terms of like having,
you know, parents involved and
		
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			financially stable home schooling,
all of that could be fine, but
		
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			they still have this immense
problem of stress. And you think,
		
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			you know, what could they be
stressing about, but it's such an
		
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			intense time, and also by the
nature of the dunya is a place
		
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			that it's actually designed to do
that, to us, it's designed to make
		
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			us very uncomfortable. And because
almost all of that it does not
		
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			want us to be comfortable here
because this is not our final
		
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			abode. So that's why we have
problems. And that's why we have
		
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			problematic people in our lives.
And, you know, disruptions
		
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			routines are hard to sometimes
maintain because life happens. But
		
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			when you have something that kind
of anchors you which is why Al
		
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			Hamdulillah we have to be so
grateful for the blessing of
		
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			Islam, you know, when you really
think about how chaotic things
		
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			are, and then you see all these
people who don't have faith. To
		
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			me, I'm just like, in a constant
state of Thank you, Allah, thank
		
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			you, thank you. Because I feel
like we have life jackets on like,
		
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			right, we not only have life
jackets, we have, we have like
		
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			ropes, we have like a tether, we
have like a line that you know, is
		
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			still, you know, tethering us to
something stable. And even if
		
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			we're floating into the, you know,
waters of dunya, that feeling of
		
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			being safe, right is really just
such a gift. Because there are a
		
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			lot of people who just simply
don't have that they don't have a
		
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			family foundation, they don't have
either a culture or tradition or a
		
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			faith that helps them make sense
of all this craziness. So we
		
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			really have to just take immense
pause to say Alhamdulillah, Allah
		
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			NetMundial Islam, thank you Allah
for the gift of being Muslim. And
		
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			just keep repeating that even not
necessarily verbalizing it, but
		
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			internally, because that awareness
of your state of gratitude will
		
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			help you to keep priorities
straight. And also, when things
		
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			get overwhelming, know what to do,
which is of course, turn to Allah
		
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			Subhanallah we go to prayer, when
we're in those states, we turn to
		
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			the book of Allah, and then in our
time where we can really have time
		
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			for self reflection. This is a
book that we should have. So if
		
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			you don't have it, I highly
recommend getting it. Because it's
		
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			kind of like holding up a mirror
to yourself, you know, when you
		
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			are
		
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			looking at your own reflection,
you can suddenly start to see
		
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			things that you might not have
noticed before because you were
		
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			too distracted. All the fine lines
and wrinkles, which we love to see
		
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			the spots. Like yesterday, was it
Yeah, you know, it's amazing. Like
		
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			I have this little spot on my hand
and I have no idea how I got it.
		
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			So it was troubling me all day
yesterday, because I was like,
		
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			hey, you know what it does come
from this little circular round
		
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			spot and I
		
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			I'm pressing it going, I don't
really feel like it's tender
		
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			today. Excellent. bruise it. So I
was like trying to figure out
		
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			what, what happened to my hand
that this happened. But in many
		
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			ways, it's just, you know, it's
just another sign of this life,
		
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			life happens, you might, I might
never know. But similarly, we
		
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			experienced these changes, even
externally, internally. So this is
		
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			giving us a mirror to our internal
states. And so we're going to read
		
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			today on the disease of the heart
of hatred. And I want you to, as
		
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			we read these pages, this is
exercise that I have always done,
		
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			I am very self reflective, so I
try to read with each word or
		
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			each, you know, point with, you
know, that that's, you know, just
		
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			personalizing it and trying to,
you know, see where I am with
		
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			respect to what it's being said.
So try to do that don't think of
		
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			other people because it's natural
to want to think like, Oh, I know
		
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			someone who's got this disease,
you know, this is a time for us to
		
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			think about ourselves. And so part
of the healing process of Ischia
		
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			is that you really are open to the
idea that you're potentially full
		
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			of diseases, and you're seeking to
self diagnose so that you can
		
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			cleanse yourself. So don't let the
ego distract you by thinking of
		
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			other people, which is a very
common tendency when we read books
		
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			like this. So the way that the
format is, is you know, it's a
		
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			book that's translation of an
Arabic classical poem. So there's
		
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			verses that you Holmes's
translated for us, there's just a
		
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			couple of verses, and then he gets
into the commentary. So we'll read
		
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			this and then we'll pause it if
you feel at any point that you
		
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			have, like, you know, something to
contribute or a question, please
		
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			feel free to jump in. I want this
to be, you know, a dialogue
		
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			between us inshallah. So, hatred.
		
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			Another disease is hatred for
other than the sake of God, the
		
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			Exalted its cure is to pray for
the one despised this is with the
		
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			understanding that you have not
done wrong if you are repulsed by
		
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			the hatred you harbor and do not
act in accordance with it, which
		
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			would be to harm the other person.
So these are again, translations
		
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			of the verses and now the
definition and further commentary
		
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			on the treatment. So the next
disease is hatred or an Arabic
		
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			bullet. In itself. Hatred is not
necessarily negative. It is
		
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			commendable to hate corruption,
evil, disbelief, murder, lewdness,
		
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			and anything else that God has
exposed as despicable. The Prophet
		
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			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never
disliked the essence of anything,
		
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			but only what something
manifested. So, hold a thought
		
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			right now think of the things that
you could categorize as something
		
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			that you hate. Okay, not the
people.
		
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			But the things that you hate. And
I want you to pay attention to
		
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			your thoughts and what's the first
thing that comes to mind? Anybody
		
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			want to share
		
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			injustice, okay, so you hate
injustice like it fills you
		
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			in Palestinian Mashallah.
		
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			All right. Injustice that's an
excellent answer. hating it
		
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			injustice, hating everyone else.
Yes.
		
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			I see you mean Satanic Verses?
Yes. Satanic Verses. So we're
		
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			making it clear. We don't wish
harm on the author of that text.
		
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			But we hate the text. Very good.
So yes, any disparaging of the
		
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			Prophet sallallaahu sudden we
should hate. Right with our full
		
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			being. Yes.
		
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			The smell of pork.
		
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			Wow, I'm surprised I'm amazed that
you can distinguish like you mean
		
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			bacon, like because that's the
only pork that I would even you
		
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			know, Subhan Allah. So the smell
of pork? Yeah, it will it.
		
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			Yeah. So you'll leave it to know
		
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			how diligent you have your hand.
Okay, sorry that you hadn't anyone
		
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			else? Yes.
		
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			You hate some of the political
movements that are taking over our
		
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			world at the moment and we all
know how divisive These movements
		
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			are. Yes, are very strong.
		
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			Fighting and argumentation like
when you see it between people and
		
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			individuals. So just the idea of
Jevon Okay, Michelle. Yes.
		
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			dishonesty. So when someone
betrays your trust, you hate that.
		
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			Very good. Yes.
		
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			Basically, acting righteous, but
actually
		
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			not good intentions. Sure. It's
very good. I think we can all
		
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			collectively agree we
		
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			Hate Nephi great hypocrisy when
someone presents one way, but then
		
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			is entirely a different two faced
kind of an individual. I think
		
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			everybody's on board with that. So
when I think of this word, the
		
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			first thing, and it's always been
the case, I feel like that comes
		
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			to my mind is anything to do with
the harming of children. I hate
		
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			it. And I think if I were ever to
lose complete sanity and do
		
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			something violent, it would be
upon someone who aggresses upon
		
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			the child, especially
		
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			in a really heinous way, any type
of abuse at all. So that's just
		
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			something that fills me up. So
it's good to know, right? What's
		
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			your what does your mind or heart
speak or think of, as soon as you
		
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			heard hear certain words in terms
right? So it's good to know that
		
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			about ourselves. Hatred or strong
dislike of a person for no
		
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			legitimate reason is the disease
of BOD. So now we're getting more
		
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			specific because as was mentioned,
right, the process and didn't
		
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			dislike the essence of anything,
but only what something when
		
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			something manifested, especially
if it was hateful or hate, you
		
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			know, that it was something that
God almost either also hated or
		
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			condemned, right? In that case, we
should anything that Allah hates,
		
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			we should hate, right? Anything
the process of hates, we should
		
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			hate when it comes to individuals,
there's a very clear distinction
		
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			here that it has to be for no
legitimate reason. So think about
		
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			again, have you ever harbored
negative animus, rancor hatred
		
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			towards someone unprovoked, just
because they rubbed you the wrong
		
00:11:35 --> 00:11:38
			way you didn't like the way they
looked? Right? Because some people
		
00:11:38 --> 00:11:43
			can get very petty, when they let
their, you know, ego, get the best
		
00:11:43 --> 00:11:47
			of them, they can be very petty
and start to think just these
		
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			awful things about individuals,
unbeknownst to them completely
		
00:11:50 --> 00:11:55
			innocent. That's where suspicion
and a lot of other diseases
		
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			emerge. But think how I ever had
feelings like that, like hatred,
		
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			where I could really say like, oh,
I can't stand that individual. And
		
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			it could be someone that not
necessarily, you know, right.
		
00:12:05 --> 00:12:09
			Think of celebrities, right? How
many of us are like, Oh, I don't
		
00:12:09 --> 00:12:12
			want to see that person ever
again. I know. There's a lot of
		
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			celebrities that trigger people to
have that or politicians, right?
		
00:12:19 --> 00:12:23
			That have certain lifestyle
choices? Yes, that we don't agree
		
00:12:23 --> 00:12:28
			with and you see them parading pun
intended their lifestyle, right?
		
00:12:28 --> 00:12:32
			Then it makes you feel, you know,
certain feelings towards them. And
		
00:12:32 --> 00:12:34
			you know, that we can talk
actually about that. Because, you
		
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			know, on an individual level, we
have to think about is that is
		
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			that okay to hate an individual?
We can you know, as I say, Hate
		
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			the sin, not the sinner, right?
So, the promise I sent him once
		
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			said to his companions, do you
want to see a man of paradise, a
		
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			man then passed by and the process
of them said, That man is one of
		
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			the people of paradise, one of the
companions of the prophets, I
		
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			said, and wanted to find out what
it was about this man that has
		
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			earned him such a commendation
from the messenger of God,
		
00:13:06 --> 00:13:10
			salallahu Alaihe Salam. So he
decided to spend some time with
		
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			this man and observe him closely.
He noticed that this man did not
		
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			perform the night prayer vigil
hedges, or do anything
		
00:13:18 --> 00:13:22
			extraordinary. He appeared to be
an average man of Medina, the
		
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			companion finally told the man
what the prophesy Saddam had said
		
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			about him and asked him, if he did
anything special, the man then
		
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			replied, The only thing that I can
think of other than what everybody
		
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			else does, is that I make sure
that I never sleep with any rancor
		
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			in my heart towards another
person.
		
00:13:42 --> 00:13:43
			That was his secret.
		
00:13:45 --> 00:13:51
			So rancor, again is deep hatred.
So he had the ability to,
		
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			you know, process and, and purge
those negative feelings, and made
		
00:13:58 --> 00:14:01
			sure that when he would retire to
sleep, his heart was free of all
		
00:14:01 --> 00:14:04
			of those feelings. So that I want
you to again, take it back to your
		
00:14:04 --> 00:14:09
			own practical sort of application
of this, when you're angry at
		
00:14:09 --> 00:14:11
			someone when you're upset with
someone, whether it's a co worker
		
00:14:11 --> 00:14:15
			or someone in the family or maybe
in you know, immediately in your
		
00:14:15 --> 00:14:19
			family, right, your spouse,
sometimes we can be very angry
		
00:14:19 --> 00:14:24
			with the ones that are closest to
us. Do you allow for yourself to
		
00:14:24 --> 00:14:28
			go to sleep with all of those
feelings in your heart? Or do you
		
00:14:28 --> 00:14:32
			have a way of making sure that
those things are you know dealt
		
00:14:32 --> 00:14:35
			with and if they're out and you're
you've processed them, you've
		
00:14:35 --> 00:14:38
			spoken about them? You've tried to
reconcile what is your process?
		
00:14:38 --> 00:14:42
			Because I think it's important to
think about why did the process
		
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			some of all the people point this
man out What is he trying to
		
00:14:45 --> 00:14:49
			communicate to us, right? He's
He's telling us, this is a virtue,
		
00:14:50 --> 00:14:55
			to deal with your anger and not
let it corrupt your heart. And
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:59
			specifically the fact that he
talks about letting get you know,
		
00:14:59 --> 00:15:00
			I mean, reading
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:06
			The his heart, you know, before
he, you know, every every night,
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:08
			right, the fact that he does that,
I think that's also another really
		
00:15:09 --> 00:15:13
			important thing and before he goes
to sleep, because what's the risk
		
00:15:14 --> 00:15:15
			of not doing that?
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:23
			Exactly. That could be your last
transaction with another creation
		
00:15:23 --> 00:15:27
			of God. That, you know, in some
people, I mean, they have full on,
		
00:15:28 --> 00:15:34
			you know, like, it gets really
ugly. So if you're cursing, and
		
00:15:34 --> 00:15:38
			really foul, and you're just so
angry. And that's not to say that
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:41
			the QA, the source of why you're
angry isn't legitimate, you could
		
00:15:41 --> 00:15:44
			very well have a very legitimate
grievance, and a real serious
		
00:15:44 --> 00:15:47
			problem that you're trying to
communicate. But it's the fact
		
00:15:47 --> 00:15:51
			that you let the anger consume you
to such a degree, that the very
		
00:15:51 --> 00:15:56
			last words that you spoke were
full of hatred, and maybe even
		
00:15:56 --> 00:15:59
			wishing harm, right? Because when
people get loose comportment
		
00:15:59 --> 00:16:02
			completely, they can actually
curse. And I'm not talking about
		
00:16:02 --> 00:16:07
			cursing, as in curse words, I'm
talking about condemning people to
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:12
			*, or even worse, you know,
wishing ill for them. And so that
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:15
			being your last transaction,
that's, that's a huge risk that
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:19
			none of us should take, right? How
many of you have ever known
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:23
			someone who lost I mean, their
life and, you know, during sleep,
		
00:16:24 --> 00:16:28
			like didn't wake up? Right? Right.
And I have one of my closest
		
00:16:28 --> 00:16:33
			friends in her 30s. That's how she
went. So it's very real, and he
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:35
			has nothing to do with it. If
Allah wishes to take someone he
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:39
			can take someone at any age. So
these are the realities that we
		
00:16:39 --> 00:16:41
			have to deal with that we don't
want these feelings to consume us
		
00:16:41 --> 00:16:46
			to that point, that it's our last
again, record the angels or, you
		
00:16:46 --> 00:16:48
			know, the pens have lifted because
we're now asleep.
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:50
			Yes.
		
00:16:54 --> 00:16:57
			To holding a grudge as well,
that's something
		
00:16:59 --> 00:17:03
			Yeah, not being able to forgive is
a little different, right? Because
		
00:17:03 --> 00:17:07
			rancor is when you really just
have this hatred that isn't
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:08
			there's no real
		
00:17:09 --> 00:17:12
			like resolution to it, it's just
sitting, it's a kind of like
		
00:17:12 --> 00:17:15
			you're wallowing in these this
negative or stewing in this
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:19
			negative emotion. Whereas when you
have a grudge, like I said, it
		
00:17:19 --> 00:17:22
			could be just that, you know,
there's lingering feelings, maybe
		
00:17:22 --> 00:17:25
			you haven't had closure, there
could be a lot of different, you
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:29
			know, factors that don't
necessarily mean that you're just
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:32
			this person who refuses to let go
of negative feelings, right?
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:35
			Because sometimes it's just like
the opportunity, maybe you're
		
00:17:35 --> 00:17:38
			waiting for the other person to
own up to their mistake, and then
		
00:17:38 --> 00:17:41
			you'll be able to forgive them.
And until they do that you hold a
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:45
			grudge. But obviously, if you
have, you know, negative feelings
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:49
			that that lead you to think really
badly of someone and wish ill for
		
00:17:49 --> 00:17:52
			them, then yes, you're kind of
playing with fire there. So I
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:55
			think it depends on on the
situation. But this would be, you
		
00:17:55 --> 00:17:59
			know, a deep, deep feeling of
hatred that's not really resolved.
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:03
			And maybe you don't even have any
plans to do anything with it. But
		
00:18:03 --> 00:18:07
			just feel those feelings.
Something similar, was lingering
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:12
			feelings. That overtime, turned
into deep hatred for a family
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:12
			member.
		
00:18:13 --> 00:18:17
			They were separated for a while,
and she was waiting for things to
		
00:18:17 --> 00:18:22
			get better. Forgiveness and then
there's just things happening back
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:27
			and forth. last conversation I had
with her was, I wish she would
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:28
			just die.
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:35
			Long Behold, died. Now Allah
literally less than I would say
		
00:18:35 --> 00:18:37
			less than a month from the time
she made that call. Oh, the
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:42
			biller? Is she she's very
religious, very pious will not
		
00:18:42 --> 00:18:44
			miss a prayer like very
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:52
			are rituals. And now she's She's
living with that regret. Wow. She
		
00:18:52 --> 00:18:56
			says all I can remember is good
things from Wow.
		
00:18:57 --> 00:19:02
			person that was the biggest
problem of the life that she made
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:03
			her worst enemy
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:08
			now that he's passed away she got
what she wants now she's in
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:09
			complete regret and
		
00:19:12 --> 00:19:13
			and how much she can only think
about.
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:19
			I mean, that's that's a real
cautionary tale for all of us to
		
00:19:19 --> 00:19:21
			really think about how the biller
May Allah protect us from ever
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:25
			falling into something like that,
where, where you can be so blinded
		
00:19:25 --> 00:19:30
			by your anger and hatred that you
would make a statement like that
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:33
			wishing someone to die, and then
it actually happening because
		
00:19:33 --> 00:19:36
			that's a vision. I mean, that's,
you know, how can you overcome
		
00:19:36 --> 00:19:39
			that the level of guilt and
responsibility for something like
		
00:19:39 --> 00:19:43
			that, I think would consume any
person, right? And then, you know,
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:45
			this is reminds me of the verse in
the Quran where Allah says,
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:49
			perhaps you love a thing and it's,
you know, bad for you or you hate
		
00:19:49 --> 00:19:51
			anything and it's actually good
for you. And so the fact that now
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:55
			her only memories of this person
are all positive. It's almost like
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:58
			another, you know, part of her
tribulation that she has to deal
		
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59
			with the guilt of what she'd
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:04
			Did and on top of that, be
reminded of every reason that she
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:07
			should not have ever made a
statement like that. So may Allah
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:12
			forgive us and I actually no
similar situation of something
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:15
			like that happening where we're
such deep, deep anger and hatred
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:19
			for towards someone led someone to
wish death upon another person and
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:23
			that person died. So it's not
something that I mean it happens
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:24
			all the biller
		
00:20:25 --> 00:20:26
			Yes.
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:30
			If you're not wishing anything
bad, I
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:36
			just have like a series on result.
Right? So happy hate type of
		
00:20:36 --> 00:20:37
			feelings
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:41
			is that considered by this
definition?
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:45
			So again, it really depends on as
we remember the first line we
		
00:20:45 --> 00:20:47
			read, there's no legitimate
reason. So that means that there
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:51
			are legitimate reasons right? To
hate someone like abusers, people
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:55
			who oppress you. So there are
legitimate reasons where we would
		
00:20:55 --> 00:20:58
			have these negative feelings
towards a person. And if you've
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:02
			tried to deal with those feelings,
and they're still lingering, and
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:06
			you're still kind of working on
them, then you know that that
		
00:21:06 --> 00:21:10
			bothers you, right as the poem
versus said, then that's a sign
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:14
			that it's not a disease of the
heart, right? Yeah, if you possess
		
00:21:14 --> 00:21:17
			these feelings, but you don't want
to, like you have, maybe someone
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20
			again, hurt you, and you want to
be able to forgive, but you just
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:23
			aren't there yet, then you have to
be gentle with yourself. Because,
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:27
			you know, some people simply don't
deserve that. And maybe that's why
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:31
			we have a day of judgment, because
all the records, you know, are
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:33
			going to come out and everybody's
going to have an opportunity to
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:38
			get the justice that they want or
that they saw it. And maybe it's
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:43
			Allah is the one who's you know,
waiting or, or not, you know, he's
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:46
			he's going to give you that that
sense of justice that you seek on
		
00:21:46 --> 00:21:49
			that day instead of in this life.
So you're kind of still dealing
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:52
			with those emotions. But I think
the point is here, two things,
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:57
			right, that we don't have hatred
for people without just reason are
		
00:21:57 --> 00:22:01
			legitimate, legitimate reason, and
even if we harbor certain
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:04
			feelings, that we are
uncomfortable with it. And I think
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:09
			if you're on a spiritual path,
your goal ultimately should be to
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:14
			try to work towards forgiveness
and moving past it. And I say this
		
00:22:14 --> 00:22:17
			not because it's not about the
other person, right? Sometimes
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:20
			when we think of forgiveness, we
think like, we have to do it for
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:23
			the other person, it's actually
not it has nothing to do with
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:28
			them. It has to do with you. It's
like you want to rise above and
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:32
			not, you know, have these feelings
that consume you distract you,
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:36
			preoccupy you, and it's almost
like dead weight that you're ready
		
00:22:36 --> 00:22:41
			to just cut. And that's how you
want to look at, you know, like
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:45
			lingering hatred, or just, you
know, whatever those mixed
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:48
			feelings are. And they could be,
again, for a number of reasons,
		
00:22:48 --> 00:22:52
			but it's like, I want to just let
it all go because I don't want to
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:55
			be bogged down by those feelings.
So I'm doing this as a
		
00:22:55 --> 00:23:01
			purification for myself as a
release for myself. And those
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:03
			words don't even have to ever be
communicated with that other
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:07
			person. Because as we mentioned,
the cure for hatred is to make dua
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:10
			for the other person, right? That
if you want to get rid of these
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:15
			types of feelings, whether it's
for, again, someone who's who's
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:19
			harmed you or is on continuing to
harm you, it's to be empowered,
		
00:23:20 --> 00:23:23
			right with dua, that Allah
subhanaw taala can remove those
		
00:23:23 --> 00:23:28
			ill feelings by you taking the
higher road, and again, not for
		
00:23:28 --> 00:23:32
			their benefit for your own
benefit, right.
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:40
			20 years ago that always resonated
with
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:47
			hate and grudge is a poison that
you're creating inside your body
		
00:23:48 --> 00:23:52
			as your enemy. Exactly. That's a
powerful quote, right, that
		
00:23:52 --> 00:23:55
			hatred, rancor, all these feelings
are kind of like consuming a
		
00:23:55 --> 00:24:00
			poison, and you're harming
yourself, but you are thinking
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:03
			that it's somehow going to affect
the other person. And it's it's
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:07
			human. I think we just we were,
you know, it's something that
		
00:24:07 --> 00:24:10
			makes you feel like you're
empowered when you have those
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:13
			feelings, but ultimately, you're
the one being consumed by them,
		
00:24:13 --> 00:24:15
			right? Yeah, sure. Not
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:19
			before that. Because when you were
like, hey, think of a situation
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:23
			where you harbored hatred, and I
was like, Oh, well, first to start
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:27
			off as a feeling like you have any
evidence to, and then there was
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:31
			actual, like, harm and stuff. But
like, the way I think of, I mean,
		
00:24:31 --> 00:24:33
			I don't think of myself as an
angry person, but I think of
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:34
			myself as an orphan.
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:41
			That was unfair to me. So I think
the human side of me and spiritual
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:45
			sciences if I if I let that go
completely, I know I can like the
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:51
			spiritual side we can. I'm opening
myself up to that potentially
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:57
			harming me again. And so I think
as I this fear of in the dunya
		
00:24:57 --> 00:25:00
			being hurt by them again, right?
Is what
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:03
			makes me hold on to things that
otherwise maybe I can very easily
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:08
			like, go. Sure. That's a very good
point. Because I think that leads
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:12
			us to think about boundaries,
right? You know, when we've been
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:17
			hurt by people before, in order,
again, to protect ourselves from
		
00:25:17 --> 00:25:21
			them ever impacting us again, what
are the boundaries that we can
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:25
			create, you know, whether that
means limited communication, and
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:29
			just no or no access whatsoever?
You know, we have to kind of think
		
00:25:29 --> 00:25:32
			about how can I take the measures
in my own hands so that this
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:37
			person never does whatever they
did to me, you know, before, and
		
00:25:37 --> 00:25:40
			that's where we also can find some
impairment, but I, I think it's,
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:44
			that's, that's a, you know, that
self preservation kind of, you
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:46
			know, instinct is very natural for
a lot of people, right? It's like,
		
00:25:46 --> 00:25:49
			I need to hold on to this, because
then, what if they try to worm
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:52
			their way back into my life
somehow, and I have a blind spot,
		
00:25:52 --> 00:25:55
			and all of a sudden, I'm back to
square one. So I think that's,
		
00:25:55 --> 00:26:00
			that's a very understandable
position. But I think we're weird,
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:04
			Lee, or where we are, where we
want to turn to is really, kind of
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:07
			you know, that, as I say, letting
go and letting God right, like
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:12
			Allah, exactly, that Allah
subhanaw taala is going to purge
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:14
			these feelings from my heart, and
he's also going to protect us from
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:18
			this person's harm. And, you know,
being vigilant and taking all
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:21
			those precautions to make sure
that they don't have access, all
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:25
			of that combined. And also, with
experience, we grow, right? When
		
00:26:25 --> 00:26:28
			we're young, we're an experience,
that's where a lot of we're
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:32
			vulnerable. But as we age and grow
older, we get wiser, we start
		
00:26:32 --> 00:26:35
			reading people better, and we're
our you know, our ability to kind
		
00:26:35 --> 00:26:40
			of see harm coming is I think, a
little bit more acute. And then
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:43
			we're able to protect ourselves.
And all of that is from you know,
		
00:26:43 --> 00:26:46
			a lot. So it's grace from him. So
I think, you know, finding the
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:51
			balance, each person is going to
have to really explore their
		
00:26:51 --> 00:26:54
			feelings. But ultimately, as I was
saying, the reason why we look at
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:57
			this as a disease of the heart is
because when it's without
		
00:26:57 --> 00:27:00
			legitimate cause, and we're just
sitting there feeling these
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:03
			negative feelings for someone, we
have to see that as a reflection
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:08
			of our own diseases, that that
person is not doing anything that
		
00:27:09 --> 00:27:13
			you know, warrants this this
repulsion, but it's you, your ego,
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:16
			and it's really rooted in the ego,
because when the ego starts to
		
00:27:16 --> 00:27:19
			think of itself as better than
other people, right?
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:26
			That's when this sense of superior
superiority will allow it to start
		
00:27:26 --> 00:27:30
			to look at other people in this
way, where it's like, I just look
		
00:27:30 --> 00:27:33
			down on them. I don't like them.
Why do they do things like that? I
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:36
			can't stand like I've heard, you
know, over my lifetime, oh, I
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:41
			can't stand her voice. And it's
like, that's, like, how can you
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:45
			blame someone for the way Allah
created them or their look, these
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:49
			are very petty, Neff see things
and this is what we're talking
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:52
			about, but like legitimate abuse,
legitimate forms of oppression,
		
00:27:52 --> 00:27:58
			harm that's come your way, you are
permitted to work on your heart to
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:03
			get to a place of release and
forgiveness at your own pace. And
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:08
			we turn to the Prophet lessons
example, as you know, when he, as
		
00:28:08 --> 00:28:12
			we know from the Sierra, you know,
his uncle, beloved uncle Hamza,
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:16
			during a hood was mutilated, and
killed and slaughtered, and it was
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:21
			a full on terrible, you know,
death that he, I mean, of course,
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:25
			he's a shahid but in terms of what
happened to his body, you know,
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:29
			hand who was not a muscle at that
time, she later became Muslim and
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:34
			her slave was she who she sent it
to do this, you know, to me back
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37
			then they used to mutilate the
body so that he actually took out
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:41
			his liver and then she bit into
it's a pretty gruesome scene. But
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:45
			the prophets I sent them even
after they both converted to Islam
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:50
			had a difficult time with them,
you know, all everyone else, you
		
00:28:50 --> 00:28:54
			know, it's like Sahaba. But with
them, there was a little bit of a
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:58
			distance, you know, because he was
reminded every time he looked at
		
00:28:58 --> 00:29:01
			them, although he knew that Allah
forgave them, they were joking.
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:04
			You know, they were in ignorance,
it was not something that you
		
00:29:04 --> 00:29:08
			know, so he's a human being. So we
can take permission from that and
		
00:29:08 --> 00:29:13
			say, I need time to process and I
also shouldn't force myself, you
		
00:29:13 --> 00:29:17
			know, when it's real serious
cases. Yes. You mentioned
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:20
			superiority, right? I think a lot
of hatred comes from inferiority
		
00:29:20 --> 00:29:21
			complex.
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:26
			Absolutely, whatever it goes to,
and she, she would hate certain
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:30
			types of people without any any
reason. I think what I asked her
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:32
			sometimes, like, you know why
she's like, Well, it's because
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:34
			they're prettier than me, and
they're gonna look down on me
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:34
			first.
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:41
			So I'm gonna hate them. Wow,
somehow see, the way the way the
		
00:29:41 --> 00:29:43
			human mind works? Right? And
you're absolutely right. Hatred
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:48
			can absolutely come from, I think
all forms of superiority. You are
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:51
			actually rooted in ignorance, but
also tend to be rooted rooted in
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:54
			inferiority when you get to the
core, right? So that's a prime
		
00:29:54 --> 00:29:59
			example. disliking people for
being more beautiful and this is
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:00
			also where
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03
			Are, we get envy. So it's like a
combination of different diseases
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:05
			of the heart. And it's
unfortunate, but, you know, you
		
00:30:05 --> 00:30:09
			have to look at, like, these are
all symptoms of, you know,
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:13
			societal diseases, right, that
then in effect affect us and
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:17
			infect us, spiritually speaking,
because we live in a time where
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:21
			these things are so rampant, you
know, we are pitted against one
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:24
			another, especially as women,
right? And then you're seeing,
		
00:30:25 --> 00:30:28
			obviously, all these other forms
of oppression that just, you know,
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:31
			work to cause this type of these
types of negative feelings towards
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:35
			one another. So we are, in a way
victims of circumstance, but then
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:39
			that's why looking in front of you
know, in the mirror and forcing
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:42
			yourself to see your own pathology
and like, what is the root of
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:46
			this? Why do I really feel these
things? Is how we uproot these
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:48
			diseases, right? But if we just
kind of go along with them,
		
00:30:48 --> 00:30:53
			because they're what's normal, or
nobody has ever pointed it out to
		
00:30:53 --> 00:30:56
			us, right? So I'm glad that you're
in communication with her, because
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:58
			you can then point it out to her,
maybe it never occurred to her,
		
00:30:58 --> 00:31:02
			that it's actually, you know,
really an inferiority of hers, and
		
00:31:02 --> 00:31:06
			she needs to work on that, right.
And maybe inshallah she'll come
		
00:31:06 --> 00:31:10
			out of that, if not, if she hasn't
already. But these are, you know,
		
00:31:10 --> 00:31:13
			again, the ways that we overcome
these things is by paying
		
00:31:13 --> 00:31:17
			attention to them. And that's why,
you know, going back to this text,
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:20
			it just, it allows us to think
about ourselves in a very
		
00:31:20 --> 00:31:24
			introspective way. So the cure for
hatred is straightforward, right?
		
00:31:24 --> 00:31:28
			One should pray for the person
toward whom he feels hatred,
		
00:31:29 --> 00:31:33
			making specific supplications that
mentioned this person by name,
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:37
			asking God to give this person
good things in this life and the
		
00:31:37 --> 00:31:42
			next. When one does this with
sincerity hearts meant If one
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:46
			truly wants to purify his or her
heart and root out disease, there
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:50
			must be total sincerity in
carrying out the treatments and
		
00:31:50 --> 00:31:56
			conviction that these cures are
effective. Arguably, the disease
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:59
			of hatred is one of the most
devastating forces in the world.
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:04
			But the force that is infinitely
more powerful is love. Love is an
		
00:32:04 --> 00:32:09
			attribute of God hate is not a
name of God mentioned in the Quran
		
00:32:09 --> 00:32:14
			is awarded. The loving one. Hate
is the absence of love, and only
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:18
			through love can hatred be removed
from the heart. In a beautiful
		
00:32:18 --> 00:32:20
			Hadith the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam said, none of you
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:25
			has achieved faith until he loves
for his brother when he loves for
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:30
			himself. The 13th century scholar
Imam an nawawi comments on this
		
00:32:30 --> 00:32:34
			hadith. And he says, When the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:38
			sallam says brother, we should
interpret this as Universal
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:43
			Brotherhood, which includes
Muslims and non Muslims, for one
		
00:32:43 --> 00:32:47
			should desire for his brother non
Muslim, that he entered into the
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:51
			state of submission with his Lord,
and for his brother Muslim, he
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:54
			should love him for the
continuation of guidance and that
		
00:32:54 --> 00:32:58
			he remained in submission. Because
of this, it is considered highly
		
00:32:58 --> 00:33:03
			recommended and divinely rewarding
to pray for a good for a non
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:08
			Muslims guidance. The word love
here refers to a desire for good
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:12
			and for the benefit to come to
others. This love is celestial or
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:17
			spiritual love, and not earthly or
human love. For human nature
		
00:33:17 --> 00:33:21
			causes people to desire harm to
befall their enemies, and to
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:25
			discriminate against those who are
unlike them in creed, color or
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:29
			character. However, men must
oppose their nature, pray for
		
00:33:29 --> 00:33:33
			their brothers and desire for
others, what they desire for
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:38
			themselves. More over whenever a
man does not desire good for his
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:43
			brother, envy is the root cause.
Envy is a rejection of God's
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:48
			apportionment in this world. This
one is opposing how God meted out
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:52
			sustenance in accordance with His
wisdom. Therefore, one must oppose
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:56
			his own egos, desires, and seek
treatment for this disease with
		
00:33:56 --> 00:33:59
			the healing force of acceptance of
the Divine decree and pray on
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:03
			behalf of one's enemies in a way
that suppresses the ego, the
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:09
			neffs. So it really comes down to
back to this point that
		
00:34:10 --> 00:34:14
			when we feel these deep feelings
towards other people, there could
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:19
			be a myriad of reasons. But at the
root of it, if it's, you know,
		
00:34:19 --> 00:34:22
			there might be other diseases as
well, like it could be that
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:28
			there's envy, their jealousy, it
could be also that we are, you
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:33
			know, unable to, again, get past
superficial things that should not
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:37
			really be so meaningful to us.
And, you know, as was mentioned,
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:40
			that we're dealing with our own
inferiority and insecurities. And
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			we're just projecting that onto
other people. So all of these
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:47
			reasons go back to the root, which
is the ego and so I just want to
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:52
			make sure that it's clear because
this disease is specific to like,
		
00:34:52 --> 00:34:56
			having feelings without adjust
reason, right, which is very
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:58
			different than everything we've
been talking about, like when
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			you've been harmed
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:04
			by people. So that's where you
want to look inside and say, Do I,
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:08
			is there? Maybe not an individual?
But maybe Is there a group because
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:12
			we live in a time again, where of
identity politics, right? So your
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:18
			group, your, that you affiliate
yourself with? If you, you know,
		
00:35:18 --> 00:35:21
			are have a group that you think is
a threat to your group, maybe you
		
00:35:21 --> 00:35:26
			feel something towards those
people, right? And you have to
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:30
			kind of think back like, is it
fair to collectivise demonize,
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:33
			right, all people like nowadays,
one of the things that we're
		
00:35:33 --> 00:35:35
			seeing, which is really
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:41
			difficult is to navigate, because
there's so many, you know,
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:47
			so many pilots, or it's such a
political issue is what's
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:50
			happening between men and women?
Right? aren't we seeing that in
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:54
			our culture, I feel like there's
so much now, aggression between
		
00:35:54 --> 00:35:58
			men and women, you know, whether
it's talking about relationships,
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:04
			or, you know, abilities and skills
and like, you know, just equality,
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:07
			whatever the conversation is,
there's this,
		
00:36:09 --> 00:36:11
			you know, resentment that's coming
from both, right, that's why we
		
00:36:11 --> 00:36:15
			have the in cells on one side, you
know, a red pill, as they call
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:20
			them from the men's side. And then
we have the super like, you know,
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:26
			really strong feminist leaning,
you know, what are the radical
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:29
			feminist? Yeah, exactly. radical
feminists who really just despise
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:34
			men and speak about men as if they
are the, you know, core of every
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:38
			evil in the world. And so, you
have these these two ideologies in
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:38
			a way,
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:43
			you know, just emerging, and a lot
of our youth are picking up on
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:45
			these, right? These, they're
talking points, and they're
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:48
			sometimes parroting them on social
media, you see a lot of this
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:52
			stuff, but it's also coming out,
unfortunately, in our community
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55
			spaces, right? Where, when we talk
about marriage, for example, I've
		
00:36:55 --> 00:36:59
			now heard from many people, that
people are losing interest, right
		
00:36:59 --> 00:37:03
			on both sides, like men don't want
to get married to women, women
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:06
			don't not want to get married to
men, we now have so much distrust,
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:09
			it's like, let's be suspicious of
each other. Where did all this
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:15
			come from? Right? This is all a
bliss. And bliss knows that if he
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:21
			exploits our insecurities, right?
That he can just cause these
		
00:37:21 --> 00:37:24
			divisions this divide and conquer
classic example. Right? So let's
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:28
			just destroy what should be a
complementary relationship where
		
00:37:28 --> 00:37:31
			we're uplifting each other, we're
we're upholding each other, and
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:34
			just look at everybody with this
lens of distrust. And so that's
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:38
			between the genders and you have
between certain racial groups,
		
00:37:38 --> 00:37:40
			right, that's, we're on this rise.
Now, there's a lot of race baiting
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:42
			happening, right, where
everybody's kind of looking at
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:46
			different people with different,
you know, prejudices. It's like,
		
00:37:46 --> 00:37:49
			we were going back in time, who
worked so hard to get away from
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:52
			all of these prejudices and
discrimination and all this stuff.
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:56
			And now we're, we're going back
and people are becoming more and
		
00:37:56 --> 00:37:59
			more separated, you know, and
you're seeing that. So how does
		
00:37:59 --> 00:38:02
			this happen? It's because our
human our natures are being
		
00:38:02 --> 00:38:05
			exploited, right? And it's goes
down to the root cause, which is
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:09
			the neffs. You know, we saw it
even in the past two and a half
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:12
			years with the vaccine debate,
right? Did you see the amount of
		
00:38:12 --> 00:38:17
			anger, like people were ready to
just, you know, cancel everybody,
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:21
			let them lose their jobs? I don't
care the radii. You know, put
		
00:38:21 --> 00:38:24
			people in internment camps, if
they weren't getting it was just
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:29
			insane. The level of anger and
hatred that all these things, you
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:30
			know, brought up.
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:35
			Yeah, the rest of the world. It's
like, oh, there's, there's magnets
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:36
			and other things are putting Yeah,
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:41
			exactly. A lot of there were a lot
of word conversations. But I think
		
00:38:41 --> 00:38:44
			if you're on social media, like it
was just so intense at times, I'm
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:48
			like, wow, how did we all start
turning against each other? Is
		
00:38:48 --> 00:38:51
			because our fears are being
exploited. Right? And so that's
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:55
			where, you know, again, looking at
our society and the current
		
00:38:55 --> 00:38:57
			zeitgeist, everything that's going
on, it's important to kind of pay
		
00:38:57 --> 00:39:02
			attention to how, you know, these
things are being used as tools
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:06
			almost right? Like what social
engineering is, is basically
		
00:39:06 --> 00:39:09
			getting immediate is very good at
this, Paulette politicians, they
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:12
			know what they're doing. It's
election season. So they want all
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:16
			these crazy emotions to emerge,
and they want to kind of play us
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:19
			we're like pawns in their game.
But we have to be better about
		
00:39:19 --> 00:39:23
			knowing what does our Lord call us
to and that's where, you know,
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:28
			addressing our biases, really
paying attention to why we think
		
00:39:28 --> 00:39:31
			certain things about people,
whether again, it's groups, or
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:35
			individuals, and always being more
critical of our own selves, right?
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:39
			Like, that's the way that the
believer is thinking. They're not
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:43
			laying fault on other people, you
know, so even for example, let's
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:45
			say because I know now
unfortunately, these things are
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:50
			real. But let's say there is
someone in your family who is
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:53
			known to be violent, maybe they
have a anger management problem,
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:57
			or maybe they are an alcoholic. I
know. I can think of right now
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59
			several examples of this, you
know, people that I know
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:04
			And when they speak about these
people, they actually hate their
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:09
			hate them, because all they feel
is that this person has destroyed
		
00:40:09 --> 00:40:13
			so much, you know, addicts tend
to, you know, addiction spread,
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:16
			right. They're not they usually
take over the entire family
		
00:40:16 --> 00:40:19
			system, right? We have certain
social workers here and other
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:22
			people in the field that know that
it's not just something that
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:26
			affects the individual who's
addicted, right? It's systemic.
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:29
			Everybody that's that is in that
person's life tends to be touched
		
00:40:29 --> 00:40:32
			by their addiction. So there are
people who just can't deal with
		
00:40:32 --> 00:40:36
			it. And they end up having such
resentment and such animosity, and
		
00:40:36 --> 00:40:40
			they are the ever I know, people
who have literally wish death upon
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:43
			family members, because they're
like, all they have done is ruined
		
00:40:43 --> 00:40:47
			our lives, and they just do
nothing good. There's no positive
		
00:40:47 --> 00:40:50
			contribution. So they allow,
		
00:40:51 --> 00:40:54
			you know, these feelings to kind
of take over. And we have to be
		
00:40:54 --> 00:40:57
			reminded, again, from a spiritual
perspective, as we said, In the
		
00:40:57 --> 00:41:02
			beginning, that we're called to
separate, you know, the sins of
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:05
			the individual, and to see the
disease for whatever it is, you
		
00:41:05 --> 00:41:09
			know, a lot of these things are
learned, right, violence is
		
00:41:09 --> 00:41:13
			learned, often, children who grow
up, I mean, it's cyclical,
		
00:41:13 --> 00:41:17
			sometimes not in every case, but
in many cases, you know, violence
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:21
			can be cyclical. So if a person is
raised in an environment, where
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:25
			that's all they knew, then they
likely unless they have
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:28
			intervention, or you know, come
out of that, they may repeat those
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:30
			cycles. So it's like, if you can
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:35
			find it within yourself to
practice that empathy to see that
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:39
			that person, you know, may have
had a complicated, you know, life
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:43
			that I don't know about. And I
saw, like, a really cool video
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:46
			earlier today, which I thought was
sometimes martial art, people come
		
00:41:46 --> 00:41:49
			up with these really great ideas,
but it was this young man. And he
		
00:41:49 --> 00:41:51
			had, there's no, like, there's no
dialogue, he's just had,
		
00:41:53 --> 00:41:57
			you know, like, script, but on the
video, he's, he holds up two
		
00:41:57 --> 00:42:02
			lighters, right. And he's like,
person one, person two, and
		
00:42:02 --> 00:42:06
			they're both like, you know, they
have a flame. And then he takes
		
00:42:06 --> 00:42:09
			one of the lighters, and he puts
it in a cup, and then he pours
		
00:42:09 --> 00:42:13
			water, and each time he pours
water, like a little blurb comes
		
00:42:13 --> 00:42:18
			on the screen that's like, you
know, abuse, you know, some other
		
00:42:18 --> 00:42:21
			like, problem, you know, social
problem, or problem that that
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:26
			person suffered. And, you know,
when he takes the lighter out, it
		
00:42:26 --> 00:42:29
			doesn't work, you know, And his
point was, like, you just don't
		
00:42:29 --> 00:42:33
			know what in life has happened to
people trauma, that has put out
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:38
			that spark, that, you know, that
zest or that zeal, that that flame
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:43
			in that individual that makes them
now whatever they are, whether
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:46
			they're harmful, or whether
they're just not really fun to be
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:49
			around, you know, we just don't
know. And sometimes, you know,
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:54
			that's, I think, where our Dean
reminds us, like, Allah is the
		
00:42:54 --> 00:42:58
			ultimate judge. And you have to
suspend judgment. So when you see
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:01
			yourself suddenly starting to feel
these feelings towards other
		
00:43:01 --> 00:43:05
			people, you have to talk to
yourself and say, Wait a second, I
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:07
			really don't know what that
person's context is, I don't know
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:11
			why they are the way they are, I
can sit here and be reactive to an
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:15
			incident I had with them, exchange
I had with them, and isolate them
		
00:43:15 --> 00:43:20
			to that one moment in their time,
or I can be more empathic and say,
		
00:43:21 --> 00:43:25
			you know, maybe they've, they just
have a lot going on, that I am not
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:30
			aware of. And it's not on me, to
judge them, I leave them to ALLAH
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:34
			SubhanA data. And that's how I
think we can protect ourselves
		
00:43:34 --> 00:43:37
			right from falling into these
types of traps, where Shakedown
		
00:43:37 --> 00:43:44
			will just, again, make us fixate
on one thing and we then let our
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:48
			our senses go, right, which goes
back to you know, what we talked
		
00:43:48 --> 00:43:53
			about in previous sessions, like
mmm was Ali's real awesome
		
00:43:53 --> 00:43:55
			breakdown of the human being when
you understand the human being as
		
00:43:56 --> 00:43:58
			a, as a triune. Right,
		
00:43:59 --> 00:44:03
			possessing three innate qualities,
which is the intellect, the aka,
		
00:44:03 --> 00:44:07
			the emotions, and then the
appetites, what he does, and using
		
00:44:07 --> 00:44:12
			that framework is to say, what is
leading you? You know, are you an
		
00:44:12 --> 00:44:15
			intellectual? Or you, you know,
someone who's trying to always
		
00:44:15 --> 00:44:20
			rationalize things, right? And
understand it in this way of like,
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:25
			the grand picture the, you know,
the bigger idea, or do you let
		
00:44:25 --> 00:44:31
			your emotions your, your, what he
has symbols or or, you know, yeah,
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:36
			he has these analogies for each
one, the emotions, he uses a
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:39
			hunting dog, right, because he's
like your emotions. You have to
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:43
			look at them like they have to
serve you. Right? And so a hunting
		
00:44:43 --> 00:44:46
			dog has to be trained and it
serves you. But if you don't train
		
00:44:46 --> 00:44:51
			that hunting dog, just like if you
don't control your emotions, it's
		
00:44:51 --> 00:44:55
			like, letting it loose, running
amok. How is that helping you and
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:58
			that's what we are in right now.
We're in a world of emotions,
		
00:44:58 --> 00:45:00
			right? We're in a world
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:03
			Other people just feeling a lot of
things and everything's about
		
00:45:03 --> 00:45:06
			feelings. It's like constantly
people are triggered and angered.
		
00:45:06 --> 00:45:10
			And it's like, at what point do
you say, Why am I so easily?
		
00:45:10 --> 00:45:14
			Triggered? You know, why am I like
allowing people to constantly push
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:18
			my buttons? You know, how do they
get access to my buttons? You
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:21
			know? And that's when you you
think back on, like, what can I do
		
00:45:21 --> 00:45:25
			to prevent myself from being so
reactive or activated all the
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:29
			time. So the emotions, you know,
are leading a lot of people and or
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:33
			the appetites. So we're, you know,
as our teachers referred, we're in
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:37
			a world of a lot of dog people.
And then the analogy he has for
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:41
			appetites is a pig, right? So it's
like, the world is rampant with
		
00:45:41 --> 00:45:44
			dog people and pig people. So
everybody's serving their
		
00:45:44 --> 00:45:48
			appetites eating, consuming, just
constantly gluttonous. And every
		
00:45:48 --> 00:45:51
			which way, you know, that's where
we're seeing a lot, or they're
		
00:45:51 --> 00:45:56
			just angry, and reacting to
everything without any rational
		
00:45:56 --> 00:46:00
			thought, without any consideration
of like, the bigger picture or,
		
00:46:00 --> 00:46:05
			you know, consequences or anything
like that. And we, as Muslims are
		
00:46:05 --> 00:46:10
			called to rise to be the people of
Auckland. Right? Our dean is the
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:14
			dean of literacy where the that
reads, intelligence is important.
		
00:46:14 --> 00:46:19
			But if we also forego our
intellects and start to be just as
		
00:46:19 --> 00:46:23
			angry, or just as consumed with
our appetites, we are no different
		
00:46:23 --> 00:46:26
			than everything else. Everyone
else. And how do we stand out
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:29
			then? Right? We're supposed to be
leading the way. But
		
00:46:29 --> 00:46:34
			unfortunately, we've adopted the
same habits of just foregoing
		
00:46:34 --> 00:46:37
			intellect, not factoring, like,
you know, how is this impacting
		
00:46:37 --> 00:46:42
			me, as we were told, right? When
you hold resentment in your heart,
		
00:46:42 --> 00:46:45
			you are the one that's bothered,
that person is likely not even
		
00:46:45 --> 00:46:49
			giving you another thought, here
you are just forming. Every time
		
00:46:49 --> 00:46:53
			you think about them, you're
driving, you're just like, Ah, how
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:57
			was that serving you? Right? So
that's why we're or attention is
		
00:46:57 --> 00:47:03
			drawn to, these are not productive
feelings. Let them go and know
		
00:47:03 --> 00:47:06
			that there's a day of judgment,
that God will give you justice, if
		
00:47:06 --> 00:47:09
			you feel someone slighted you,
someone's harmed, you someone's
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:13
			hurt, you then have to work on
that none of that. I mean, that's
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:16
			why we have the Hadith that say
even the horned animal will be
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:22
			called right to, to speak about
what it did to the animal that
		
00:47:22 --> 00:47:25
			didn't have horns. Allah is
constantly letting us know that
		
00:47:25 --> 00:47:29
			nothing will be lost. Not an
atom's weight of good or evil is
		
00:47:29 --> 00:47:33
			lost. But we're not using our
intellect when we want to take
		
00:47:33 --> 00:47:36
			matters into our own hands, or
when we're sitting with those
		
00:47:36 --> 00:47:39
			feelings and not realizing that
they're actually destructive to
		
00:47:39 --> 00:47:43
			our soul. Right. So that's what
we're called to do is right, yes.
		
00:47:46 --> 00:47:48
			Because when someone does
something wrong, you want to see
		
00:47:48 --> 00:47:51
			the revenge. Now yep, yep.
		
00:47:52 --> 00:47:58
			Exactly. In front of me. You don't
have you don't have it's not in
		
00:47:58 --> 00:48:03
			your head. So what's driving that
impulse when you want justice?
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:07
			Now? What is driving that impulse?
The ego, but what is it is which
		
00:48:07 --> 00:48:11
			part of us, right? It's the
innocent, it says emotions, right?
		
00:48:12 --> 00:48:17
			Or the appetites like I am
entitled to justice. I want this
		
00:48:17 --> 00:48:19
			right now. So it's not the awkward
right?
		
00:48:24 --> 00:48:29
			Of course, exactly. And it's all
in its own Allah's time, right?
		
00:48:29 --> 00:48:31
			That's the thing, Allah will
distribute justice, however he
		
00:48:31 --> 00:48:36
			sees fit. And some people will get
it in this life, partially, but
		
00:48:36 --> 00:48:39
			there's more to come. Some people
may look like they've come out
		
00:48:39 --> 00:48:42
			unscathed. And I've you know, I've
talked to people who've been
		
00:48:42 --> 00:48:46
			really wronged and when they look
at the person who's wronged them,
		
00:48:46 --> 00:48:49
			they have a very difficult time
reconciling, how did that person
		
00:48:50 --> 00:48:54
			they seem to have gotten away with
it. And this is a real flaw in our
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:57
			thinking. And we should never
entertain that idea. It's from a
		
00:48:57 --> 00:49:01
			bliss because if you believe in
justice, and that almost father,
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:05
			nothing escapes his knowledge,
then you should not think that an
		
00:49:05 --> 00:49:08
			individual just because Outwardly
they look like they've they're you
		
00:49:08 --> 00:49:12
			know unscathed, or nothing is
happening to them, that they are
		
00:49:12 --> 00:49:16
			not going to be held accountable.
Sometimes it's delayed. And in
		
00:49:16 --> 00:49:20
			fact, that's actually much worse
for them. So if you're really want
		
00:49:20 --> 00:49:23
			your justice, you know you're
gonna get it because when all of
		
00:49:23 --> 00:49:27
			us want to, you know, tries a
person in this life or or gives
		
00:49:27 --> 00:49:31
			them justice in this life, it's
also an opportunity for mercy for
		
00:49:31 --> 00:49:35
			them right? Because any justice
that we have in this life is far
		
00:49:35 --> 00:49:39
			better than even a moment in the
next life. Like if your justice is
		
00:49:39 --> 00:49:43
			delayed there, you're in trouble.
That's why we have to count
		
00:49:43 --> 00:49:48
			recalibrate the way we look at
problems, right because when we
		
00:49:48 --> 00:49:52
			have problems in this world, you
can sit there and again wallow and
		
00:49:52 --> 00:49:55
			have a very what we call like the
a worldly lens, right which is
		
00:49:55 --> 00:49:58
			like all this decision and
convenience why me why me and you
		
00:49:58 --> 00:49:59
			just you're very
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:04
			myopic you only see the problem.
But if you have an other worldly
		
00:50:04 --> 00:50:08
			lens, a metaphysical lens, and you
understand that, wait a second, so
		
00:50:08 --> 00:50:12
			in the justice of God sometimes,
you know, he'll test us in this
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:17
			role to purify us from past sins
and past deeds. Okay, so now I
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:20
			have a total redefinition of the
tribulations that I'm going
		
00:50:20 --> 00:50:25
			through, right, I can start to see
things with a clear lens and not
		
00:50:25 --> 00:50:30
			react in a way that makes you know
that that may call into question
		
00:50:30 --> 00:50:33
			whether or not I'm truly a
believer, because we have to
		
00:50:33 --> 00:50:36
			believe, like, you know, when
we're always clamoring for
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:41
			justice, and we're willing to
even, you know, push the
		
00:50:41 --> 00:50:44
			boundaries, right. And we saw
that, like, you know, during, I
		
00:50:44 --> 00:50:47
			mean, just this past couple of
years, when people were rioting,
		
00:50:47 --> 00:50:51
			and they do things, they're
willing to push for justice to the
		
00:50:51 --> 00:50:54
			point where they're themselves now
the aggressors and causing harm.
		
00:50:54 --> 00:50:57
			That's like, you've just lost the
plot, like, you've you're not even
		
00:50:57 --> 00:51:01
			thinking at this point, because
there's no justification for
		
00:51:01 --> 00:51:06
			causing harm. You can't say, I
want revenge, or I want justice so
		
00:51:06 --> 00:51:09
			much, and I'm gonna go and hold
the will blow up these people or
		
00:51:09 --> 00:51:11
			do this or do that we don't
believe in that that's taking
		
00:51:11 --> 00:51:13
			matters into your own hands. And
that comes from a place of
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:17
			insecurity, right? When you want
to exact justice, it's because you
		
00:51:17 --> 00:51:20
			likely think that there isn't
going to be any other justice. But
		
00:51:20 --> 00:51:24
			when you believe in a day of
judgment, and then you're like,
		
00:51:24 --> 00:51:24
			Okay,
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:28
			I'll just wait. You know, Allah is
the best of planners. And to be
		
00:51:28 --> 00:51:32
			honest, compared to your justice,
what would be a better form of
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:35
			justice? Like, right? Just think
about, you could cook up the best
		
00:51:35 --> 00:51:39
			plot against whoever. But would it
even compare to, you know, a
		
00:51:39 --> 00:51:42
			fraction of what almost part of
justice would be? No, so just
		
00:51:42 --> 00:51:45
			doesn't make sense to go down that
path? Yes.
		
00:51:49 --> 00:51:52
			Forgive two people, but then part
of me, I guess that's my next
		
00:51:53 --> 00:51:57
			week. Yep. When I have other
people come and talk to me about
		
00:51:57 --> 00:51:57
			like,
		
00:51:58 --> 00:52:03
			the heat rises up. Yeah. So I
decided just to distance myself
		
00:52:03 --> 00:52:07
			from good, just to be like, I was
like, God, you know, you're gonna
		
00:52:07 --> 00:52:12
			get my right on those people. And
I was like, I hope for them that
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:16
			the next time because I don't want
to face God, to deal with that. I
		
00:52:16 --> 00:52:20
			mean, and that's also speaking
volumes about your faith and the
		
00:52:20 --> 00:52:25
			goodness of your, because when you
have a reason to want justice, but
		
00:52:25 --> 00:52:28
			then you're also willing to be
lenient with that it's even raises
		
00:52:28 --> 00:52:32
			your MACOM even more with a law.
So it's a very beautiful position
		
00:52:32 --> 00:52:37
			to be in and that's a sign of
Inshallah, you know, guidance for
		
00:52:37 --> 00:52:42
			you that you are able to have that
awareness that people who are
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:45
			trying to, you know, stir the pot
and bring all those feelings in my
		
00:52:45 --> 00:52:49
			heart are not good for me because
I want to move beyond this, and I
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:51
			want to let go, right? And just
let all this power to take care of
		
00:52:51 --> 00:52:54
			it. So this is where again, you're
using your intellect, mashallah
		
00:52:54 --> 00:52:58
			you're reading and if we just
start to pay attention to all the
		
00:52:58 --> 00:53:01
			themes that we have in the Quran,
for example, I mean, how many
		
00:53:01 --> 00:53:04
			stories Okay, said that, you know,
Yaqoob and his, you know,
		
00:53:04 --> 00:53:08
			certainly Youssef and his
brothers, I mean, the betrayal of
		
00:53:08 --> 00:53:13
			your own brothers plotting to kill
you, and then dump you in a well
		
00:53:13 --> 00:53:17
			and let you go on, you know, and
have this. I mean, he had so many
		
00:53:17 --> 00:53:21
			trials along the way, but Subhan,
Allah, he realized that this is
		
00:53:21 --> 00:53:24
			all because he had faith that it's
all from God, and he was able to
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:26
			forgive them. And they themselves
were shocked, right when he
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:30
			forgave them. But we have these
stories to teach us lessons that
		
00:53:30 --> 00:53:33
			even dysfunctional families were
things I mean, none of us I think
		
00:53:33 --> 00:53:37
			I've ever had our siblings, or
people in our lives, plot our
		
00:53:37 --> 00:53:41
			death, right. So if we can see
that it's possible to overcome,
		
00:53:41 --> 00:53:44
			you know, something like that, and
extend forgiveness, and maybe we
		
00:53:44 --> 00:53:48
			can let go of, you know, the
rumors that someone started or the
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:51
			lie that was told about you, or
maybe they took some of your
		
00:53:51 --> 00:53:54
			money, or whatever it is, that
causes these types of conflicts
		
00:53:54 --> 00:53:58
			within family systems are within
our relationships. So it really is
		
00:53:58 --> 00:54:03
			about, again, you know, addressing
you know, these feelings in your
		
00:54:03 --> 00:54:07
			own heart and wanting to be like
this man, who can honestly say
		
00:54:07 --> 00:54:12
			that, you know, whatever, whoever
has done wrong to me, I just
		
00:54:12 --> 00:54:14
			forgive them. And it's
interesting, because you see,
		
00:54:14 --> 00:54:18
			people you know, I'm sure we've
all received, like, those emails
		
00:54:18 --> 00:54:23
			or text messages when loved ones
are on their way to ombre or
		
00:54:23 --> 00:54:26
			hydrate. It's like, please forgive
me if I've ever done any wrong to
		
00:54:26 --> 00:54:32
			you. And we tend to like, think of
ourselves and realize when those
		
00:54:32 --> 00:54:34
			opportunities arise the importance
of purging these types of
		
00:54:34 --> 00:54:41
			feelings, and and addressing these
things, but on a day to day, we're
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:44
			fine with holding these feelings.
And that's, I think, also
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:47
			something something to think
about. Why what's the difference?
		
00:54:47 --> 00:54:50
			Like, in either case, you know, I
mean, it doesn't make a
		
00:54:50 --> 00:54:53
			difference, right? If your heart
is full of those emotions, it
		
00:54:53 --> 00:54:56
			shouldn't matter whether or not
you're traveling, or whether or
		
00:54:56 --> 00:54:59
			not you're home, because Allah is
with you at all points of your
		
00:54:59 --> 00:54:59
			day.
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:01
			Yeah, right? Yes.
		
00:55:02 --> 00:55:06
			I just also want to add this
perspective of sometimes like
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:09
			where we want justice but trying
to forgive them because we don't
		
00:55:09 --> 00:55:10
			know their ranking.
		
00:55:12 --> 00:55:17
			So it only family member that they
live their life where they
		
00:55:19 --> 00:55:22
			did something not going I think
throughout their life, like
		
00:55:22 --> 00:55:26
			talking about their sins, and they
ended up dying in Hajj in a
		
00:55:26 --> 00:55:32
			purified state. Right. So here I
have all the long list of bad
		
00:55:32 --> 00:55:36
			deeds they did. And within my
eyes, I saw Allah forgives who he
		
00:55:36 --> 00:55:37
			wants to. So yeah.
		
00:55:41 --> 00:55:43
			No, it's an excellent reminder.
And I think something for all of
		
00:55:43 --> 00:55:46
			us to think about is at the end of
the day, we really like you said,
		
00:55:46 --> 00:55:50
			do not know who is who with a law.
And for us to,
		
00:55:51 --> 00:55:55
			you know, wish harm for people who
may have done their Toba, who may
		
00:55:55 --> 00:55:59
			be every night waking up, you
know, asking God to forgive them
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:01
			for what they did to you, you
know, you never know, like, tears
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:05
			are real. People could be giving
sadaqa they could be like pleading
		
00:56:05 --> 00:56:08
			and begging God every single day,
but you're still holding on to
		
00:56:08 --> 00:56:10
			these feelings, right? So you just
have to be like, You know what,
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:14
			God ultimately will deal with it,
I just gotta get myself, right.
		
00:56:15 --> 00:56:18
			Because we have very little time
on this planet. And it's such a
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:22
			waste of time. I've seen people
consumed with these kinds of
		
00:56:22 --> 00:56:25
			emotions, they don't grow
spiritually, they actually end up
		
00:56:26 --> 00:56:30
			because it's toxin, right, it's a
toxin in your heart. But it
		
00:56:30 --> 00:56:35
			actually starts to toxify other
relationships, right. So when you
		
00:56:35 --> 00:56:38
			let these kinds of feelings take
over your heart, then you just
		
00:56:38 --> 00:56:42
			shut down emotionally, you become
a very negative person, people
		
00:56:42 --> 00:56:44
			don't want to really be around
you. So you start losing people in
		
00:56:44 --> 00:56:49
			your life, why it's all bliss.
This is how he wants to destroy
		
00:56:49 --> 00:56:53
			us. So, you know, it's just
important to again, assess where
		
00:56:53 --> 00:56:57
			we are with respect to these
diseases, and make that decision,
		
00:56:57 --> 00:57:00
			because this hadith is one of the
most powerful Hadith, that this
		
00:57:00 --> 00:57:04
			man was not exceptional in other
ways. Because sometimes we think
		
00:57:04 --> 00:57:07
			that the standard is so high, you
know, for me to be close to Allah
		
00:57:07 --> 00:57:12
			or be a person of Jannah, I have
to be doing so much in order to
		
00:57:12 --> 00:57:16
			get there, which is good. It's a
humbling thought. But this gives
		
00:57:16 --> 00:57:20
			us all hope, right? That I may not
be extraordinary, in my practice,
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:24
			I may be kind of an average
Muslim. But if I work on really
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:28
			reading my heart of these types of
negative feelings for people, and
		
00:57:28 --> 00:57:32
			seeing people with compassion, and
forgiveness and empathy, and
		
00:57:32 --> 00:57:36
			letting go of biases, and not
being judgmental, not being, you
		
00:57:36 --> 00:57:41
			know, quick to like, say things
about people's choices like I, you
		
00:57:41 --> 00:57:44
			know, over the years, again, I've
just seen where people were very
		
00:57:44 --> 00:57:48
			quick to judge other people for
their choices, all of these things
		
00:57:48 --> 00:57:51
			are indicative of disease, your
ego needs a check a reality check,
		
00:57:51 --> 00:57:55
			like you are not any better than
other people. And stop, you know,
		
00:57:55 --> 00:58:00
			that's why one of the, again, you
know, foundational hadith is to
		
00:58:00 --> 00:58:03
			mind your own business, you know,
and when you start to grow
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:07
			spiritually, you'll find that that
becomes quite apparent to you that
		
00:58:07 --> 00:58:12
			I just don't have the time to deal
with other people. I don't want to
		
00:58:12 --> 00:58:15
			hear about their drama. I don't
want to know anything about them.
		
00:58:15 --> 00:58:18
			I don't want to think about them.
I have to think about myself, like
		
00:58:18 --> 00:58:22
			my soul, rectifying my soul, and
making sure I'm not a hypocrite,
		
00:58:22 --> 00:58:25
			like we talked about, right? And
the fact that such a day that
		
00:58:25 --> 00:58:29
			should consume us, to be honest,
that one singular fear, am I a
		
00:58:29 --> 00:58:32
			hypocrite should consume us enough
to not even give it another person
		
00:58:32 --> 00:58:36
			a second thought? Because we don't
know. We simply don't know. We
		
00:58:36 --> 00:58:39
			could be doing all these things.
And then we come up on the day of
		
00:58:39 --> 00:58:42
			judgment and all was like, Well,
you know, your your heart was
		
00:58:42 --> 00:58:45
			actually, you know, trying to
impress so and so or you're trying
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:47
			to get this or you're trying to
get that or there are all these
		
00:58:47 --> 00:58:50
			ulterior motives, because we
weren't paying attention. Right.
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:55
			So that's why people of God are
always consumed with themselves.
		
00:58:55 --> 00:58:59
			Because it's like, I mean, we have
Hadith from said Naga Bucha said
		
00:58:59 --> 00:59:03
			Ayesha's, the people who were
promised Jana, who were literally
		
00:59:03 --> 00:59:08
			speaking about themselves, as
though they were nothing. They had
		
00:59:08 --> 00:59:13
			that humility. Well, this this way
of looking at themselves, they saw
		
00:59:13 --> 00:59:17
			no relevance to their own
existence. And they always
		
00:59:17 --> 00:59:20
			questioned their own sincerity. I
mean, you see a hadith after
		
00:59:20 --> 00:59:23
			Hadith, the Sahaba would come and
they would question their own
		
00:59:23 --> 00:59:28
			sincerity to the prophets. I said,
I'm so we 2022 What business do we
		
00:59:28 --> 00:59:31
			have judging other people, right?
So like, what wake up, you should
		
00:59:31 --> 00:59:34
			be worried about yourself, and
that's, um, you know, all of us.
		
00:59:35 --> 00:59:40
			So that's why, again, you know,
giving time to explore these
		
00:59:40 --> 00:59:44
			diseases one by one set sitting
with it, and really coming to the
		
00:59:44 --> 00:59:48
			conclusion that I don't want to be
afflicted with these things. Just
		
00:59:48 --> 00:59:53
			like, I love free me from these
things that, you know, prevent me
		
00:59:53 --> 00:59:57
			from growing and just teach me how
and you know, this, this hadith I
		
00:59:57 --> 00:59:59
			think, is one we can all learn
from so I
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:05
			Something I was gonna say. I think
self reflection really, really
		
01:00:05 --> 01:00:09
			works. Just sit down, get really
in tune with yourself and have
		
01:00:09 --> 01:00:10
			conversation with.
		
01:00:12 --> 01:00:13
			Absolutely.
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:20
			Tell me how you do it. Like,
what's your process, if you're
		
01:00:20 --> 01:00:21
			comfortable sharing,
		
01:00:22 --> 01:00:26
			I just take a few minutes, when
kids are all sleeping at
		
01:00:26 --> 01:00:31
			nighttime. I normally read the
Quran, or this is either early in
		
01:00:31 --> 01:00:36
			the morning. Very good. I only
read one page or two page.
		
01:00:37 --> 01:00:41
			That's amazing. It's beautiful. I
just do self reflection. Just
		
01:00:41 --> 01:00:45
			think about everything. Even the
people that wish me harm.
		
01:00:46 --> 01:00:51
			Forgive them. Good for you. And
that's when I feel really at
		
01:00:51 --> 01:00:52
			peace.
		
01:00:53 --> 01:00:55
			And I feel like I'm touchable.
		
01:00:56 --> 01:01:02
			It's a superpower. Yes. Yeah. So
and then I just
		
01:01:04 --> 01:01:08
			That's beautiful. You're doing
exactly what we all need to be
		
01:01:08 --> 01:01:12
			doing. Right? The Buddha is like
reflecting right? On the verses.
		
01:01:13 --> 01:01:16
			And then we'll have a bit is self
reflection right where you're
		
01:01:16 --> 01:01:20
			sitting. Think about like your day
to day or whatever thoughts. So
		
01:01:20 --> 01:01:23
			these are all spiritual practices
we all have to do every day.
		
01:01:25 --> 01:01:26
			Really, really?
		
01:01:27 --> 01:01:31
			Excellent. So how many people do
something like that, like some
		
01:01:31 --> 01:01:32
			form of that?
		
01:01:33 --> 01:01:36
			At night or in the morning? It's
good to pay attention like Are you
		
01:01:36 --> 01:01:39
			a night person? Does all your
inner philosopher come out at
		
01:01:39 --> 01:01:43
			night? Or are you philosophizing
early in the morning when the
		
01:01:43 --> 01:01:46
			birds are chirping? Right? It's
good. This is process of self
		
01:01:46 --> 01:01:49
			awareness. Right? How many people
are nighttime people? Like, right,
		
01:01:49 --> 01:01:52
			you can't go to sleep, your mind
is reeling with a lot of thoughts.
		
01:01:52 --> 01:01:56
			That's actually good. I mean, the
night is meant for, you know, this
		
01:01:56 --> 01:01:59
			type of work. You know, I'd be bad
that and worship and really
		
01:01:59 --> 01:02:03
			reflection, the early morning too.
But you know, and how many of you
		
01:02:03 --> 01:02:07
			are morning. So you wake up on
your drive to work? You're
		
01:02:07 --> 01:02:08
			thinking about everything.
		
01:02:09 --> 01:02:10
			A lot. It's good.
		
01:02:12 --> 01:02:16
			graces, like, you think about your
daily things.
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:21
			You just have it's best to have a
little corner for yourself like
		
01:02:21 --> 01:02:26
			meditate. Yes, absolutely. Yeah,
that's my meditation. I mean, this
		
01:02:26 --> 01:02:28
			is prophetic, right? The
prophetess Halliwell, he went to
		
01:02:28 --> 01:02:32
			the, to the cave, and he was
sitting there doing what he was
		
01:02:32 --> 01:02:35
			doing exactly this thinking about
all these things deeply, and
		
01:02:35 --> 01:02:38
			trying to, you know, call on God,
because there was madness
		
01:02:38 --> 01:02:42
			everywhere around him. And so we
can find that halwa in our homes,
		
01:02:42 --> 01:02:45
			right? You know, Michelle, Dr.
Rania does a really great job
		
01:02:45 --> 01:02:48
			about talking about that, right,
you know, like it to calf in the
		
01:02:48 --> 01:02:52
			home, which is not just for
Ramadan, you can have a place of
		
01:02:52 --> 01:02:58
			it the calf, or it's your corner,
your place of spiritual rest, and
		
01:02:58 --> 01:03:02
			wherever you find it, but it's
your little nook that you create
		
01:03:02 --> 01:03:05
			for that. And it's also very
possible because we're running
		
01:03:05 --> 01:03:09
			around all the time to do that
internally, too. Right. So if
		
01:03:09 --> 01:03:12
			you're ever for example, I was
speaking to someone earlier, who,
		
01:03:13 --> 01:03:15
			you know, was having marriage
issues. And she was saying that
		
01:03:15 --> 01:03:19
			it's hard for her to always visit
her in laws, because it's a
		
01:03:19 --> 01:03:22
			difficult environment for her,
which is understandable if there's
		
01:03:22 --> 01:03:25
			hostile emotions, right? And so if
you ever have to be in an
		
01:03:25 --> 01:03:28
			environment like that with around
people that you're just really
		
01:03:28 --> 01:03:32
			uncomfortable, even could be at
your job, or wherever. You can
		
01:03:32 --> 01:03:36
			retreat inwardly, right? Which is
what, you know, the ODN people of
		
01:03:37 --> 01:03:41
			our tradition have always taught,
like, just start thinking about
		
01:03:41 --> 01:03:44
			Allah. And you can be sitting
there smiling.
		
01:03:45 --> 01:03:49
			Right. But you're like, I'm in a
different dimension. You know, and
		
01:03:49 --> 01:03:52
			there's a great story. Yeah,
there's a great story about a
		
01:03:52 --> 01:03:55
			scholar, I don't know where what
his name was, but he had a great
		
01:03:55 --> 01:03:59
			reputation that he was, you know,
what he, so another student of
		
01:03:59 --> 01:04:02
			knowledge, wanted to go meet him.
So we looked all over the city for
		
01:04:02 --> 01:04:06
			him. And he finds him in the
marketplace. He's actually like a
		
01:04:06 --> 01:04:10
			merchant. And he's selling
produce. So he comes like, what
		
01:04:10 --> 01:04:13
			this is the guy everybody's been
talking about. And lighting is
		
01:04:13 --> 01:04:16
			like this great spiritual master.
And he's in a marketplace, you
		
01:04:16 --> 01:04:20
			know, because it's not always a
good place. So he's kind of
		
01:04:20 --> 01:04:22
			shocked so he goes up to him, he's
like, I've been looking for you.
		
01:04:22 --> 01:04:25
			You're here in the marketplace. I
thought you were gonna be this and
		
01:04:25 --> 01:04:30
			so the man just took him and he
brought his head to his chest. So
		
01:04:30 --> 01:04:34
			the story goes that he heard with
his own ear that he was doing they
		
01:04:34 --> 01:04:38
			could have a law so he's you know,
in this marketplace, but you know,
		
01:04:38 --> 01:04:41
			there's a cut them out some of our
great scholars had miracles like
		
01:04:41 --> 01:04:45
			that. So he actually heard him his
internal state was in full
		
01:04:45 --> 01:04:48
			remembrance of a lot. And you have
the talks about that like with his
		
01:04:48 --> 01:04:53
			teachers, he said, you know, what,
he would always be in the cave no
		
01:04:53 --> 01:04:57
			matter what, and there were times
where he would fall asleep and you
		
01:04:57 --> 01:05:00
			know, the students around him
would be memorizing their
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:03
			or text or reading from the Quran.
And he looked like he was asleep,
		
01:05:03 --> 01:05:08
			you know, because he was an older
man, but he said he would answer
		
01:05:08 --> 01:05:11
			them, you know, correcting their
mistakes. But he said he was his
		
01:05:11 --> 01:05:15
			tongue was always doing the kind
of Allah. So there are people who
		
01:05:15 --> 01:05:19
			outwardly may be doing one thing,
but their internal state is with
		
01:05:19 --> 01:05:21
			Allah. So we have to, you know, we
can we can take on those
		
01:05:21 --> 01:05:26
			practices, but it does take some
initiation to just start really
		
01:05:27 --> 01:05:30
			like longing for that time, you
know, when you have alone time,
		
01:05:30 --> 01:05:34
			and that's where our scholars also
say that a good sign of who you
		
01:05:35 --> 01:05:38
			are is what you do when you're
alone? Like, what are you doing
		
01:05:38 --> 01:05:42
			when nobody else on the planet is
around you? There's no human being
		
01:05:42 --> 01:05:45
			watching you. That's, you know,
you're just alone. What are you
		
01:05:45 --> 01:05:48
			doing? That is an indication of
your state, you know, because
		
01:05:48 --> 01:05:52
			we're pretentious when other
people around, but your true state
		
01:05:52 --> 01:05:53
			emerges in those spaces.
		
01:05:55 --> 01:05:56
			Feel like
		
01:05:58 --> 01:06:00
			we have been taught from the get
go right to
		
01:06:02 --> 01:06:02
			be grateful.
		
01:06:04 --> 01:06:09
			These are all habits that we were
told to adopt. Years ago when the
		
01:06:09 --> 01:06:13
			West is now catching on.
Absolutely. There's more and more
		
01:06:13 --> 01:06:18
			like apps on your phone. And
headspace and all these things
		
01:06:18 --> 01:06:23
			like that just seems to me like
this is you know, modern times
		
01:06:23 --> 01:06:28
			like meditation. But I feel like
Islam has been something that is
		
01:06:28 --> 01:06:30
			not 200%
		
01:06:31 --> 01:06:35
			I mean, even know you're on a
completely, you know, spot on
		
01:06:35 --> 01:06:39
			because even concepts like
mindfulness, right, which is a
		
01:06:39 --> 01:06:42
			buzzword. Now, everybody thinks
that through the Western, they're
		
01:06:42 --> 01:06:46
			a new age, you know, spirituality
is so advanced. But we know from
		
01:06:46 --> 01:06:49
			our tradition, like, again, look
at all the great traditions have a
		
01:06:49 --> 01:06:53
			practice of meditation for the
prophesy set up, which by the way,
		
01:06:53 --> 01:06:57
			they just kind of have a plug. But
as they tune out this month, it'll
		
01:06:57 --> 01:07:00
			be an hour is doing an entire
series on the mindfulness,
		
01:07:00 --> 01:07:04
			messenger, the process of it
because he was the embodiment of
		
01:07:04 --> 01:07:08
			mindfulness. And so, you know, his
every moment he was mindful of
		
01:07:08 --> 01:07:10
			God, and that's really what
mindfulness is, right? When you're
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:15
			mindful person, you are very aware
of everything that's happening
		
01:07:15 --> 01:07:19
			around you. So when he would speak
to people, but he was just in a
		
01:07:19 --> 01:07:22
			constant state of that hyper
vigilance, that is mindfulness.
		
01:07:22 --> 01:07:25
			And so you're right. But all these
other concepts too, like
		
01:07:25 --> 01:07:28
			intermittent fasting, we're seeing
everybody's now adopting it. I was
		
01:07:28 --> 01:07:31
			just saying, because I was doing a
class earlier about even like the
		
01:07:31 --> 01:07:36
			Miss wack the big day, right, all
of our sunnah practices, I saw I'm
		
01:07:36 --> 01:07:39
			just shocked in for the Afghans
and maybe even the Turks. You
		
01:07:39 --> 01:07:43
			know, we have the Kisa, which is
the, you know, the, I don't even
		
01:07:43 --> 01:07:46
			know what kind of a fabric it is.
But it basically exfoliates I saw
		
01:07:46 --> 01:07:49
			a commercial I was cracking up,
it's like, it was like, well, it's
		
01:07:49 --> 01:07:52
			called something glove. And I was
like, Are you serious, you're
		
01:07:52 --> 01:07:56
			gonna take archy sunao, and
suddenly turn it into a new cool,
		
01:07:56 --> 01:08:00
			you know, find, but we've been
ahead of the game with these
		
01:08:00 --> 01:08:03
			respects. That's partly why, if
you have ever, like followed some
		
01:08:03 --> 01:08:07
			of my social media stuff, I try to
highlight these similarities, not
		
01:08:07 --> 01:08:12
			to, you know, you know, center
these these types of things, but
		
01:08:12 --> 01:08:14
			rather to say that we've all
actually been ahead of it, like
		
01:08:14 --> 01:08:19
			even emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence, is a new
		
01:08:19 --> 01:08:23
			framework that everybody loves to
hear about. But the entire five
		
01:08:23 --> 01:08:28
			point list is all Islam every
point, self awareness, self
		
01:08:28 --> 01:08:31
			regulation, motivation, empathy,
social skills, that's, that's
		
01:08:31 --> 01:08:35
			Islam, it's tarbiyah that's from
the beginning of you, you become a
		
01:08:35 --> 01:08:38
			self aware person, you study
Arcada, you study, you know, all
		
01:08:38 --> 01:08:42
			those things that massage the top
tell you about yourself. Then you
		
01:08:42 --> 01:08:44
			go into self regulation, which is
the Skia, which is what we're
		
01:08:44 --> 01:08:48
			doing. This is how to control
yourself, motivation, we have the
		
01:08:48 --> 01:08:50
			example of the province of sudden
we are constantly being motivated
		
01:08:50 --> 01:08:54
			to follow him empathy. I mean,
hello, was there a more empathic
		
01:08:54 --> 01:08:58
			human on a planet? He empathized
with everybody animals, children,
		
01:08:58 --> 01:09:02
			a tree he's called the first tree
hugger, you know, and then social
		
01:09:02 --> 01:09:07
			skills. He had all of these skills
that nobody I mean, now they're
		
01:09:07 --> 01:09:12
			waking up to it, you know, his
ability to, to just again know how
		
01:09:12 --> 01:09:15
			to deal with different groups,
according to their customs and
		
01:09:15 --> 01:09:19
			culture, speak to people according
to their, you know, accents or
		
01:09:19 --> 01:09:20
			different, you know,
		
01:09:21 --> 01:09:24
			you know, language, but all of
these things are now emerging. So
		
01:09:24 --> 01:09:27
			I think we just have to have
confidence in our tradition. It
		
01:09:27 --> 01:09:29
			has helped. So thank you for
mentioning that.
		
01:09:32 --> 01:09:35
			Feels like a bit of an odd energy
question. We just talked about,
		
01:09:35 --> 01:09:37
			you mentioned meditation, or
		
01:09:39 --> 01:09:44
			I've been told by Muslims, like,
why are you always on about
		
01:09:44 --> 01:09:45
			meditation?
		
01:09:46 --> 01:09:48
			We don't need to meditate. Yeah.
		
01:09:50 --> 01:09:55
			He meditated, so you don't have
to. So I That's odd. Yeah, I don't
		
01:09:55 --> 01:09:57
			I don't know how to respond to
that.
		
01:09:59 --> 01:09:59
			I
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:03
			I could very easily go through
life not responding to that
		
01:10:03 --> 01:10:08
			problem is that this shows up at
times when I'm really feeling
		
01:10:08 --> 01:10:13
			connected with Allah or like, I'm
a scuba diver. So like, when we
		
01:10:13 --> 01:10:16
			were on the boat and i Wow,
everyone else was amazed at the
		
01:10:17 --> 01:10:19
			the underwater life that we're
seeing at the surface, we were
		
01:10:19 --> 01:10:23
			going into a dating site. And my
eyes were closed, I was feeling it
		
01:10:23 --> 01:10:26
			at a different level. So to
describe like a spiritual
		
01:10:26 --> 01:10:29
			experience, a spiritual
experience, I felt so connected
		
01:10:29 --> 01:10:32
			with the creation and people saw I
didn't feel whales or dolphins,
		
01:10:32 --> 01:10:36
			but they were really on and on
about it. Like she was sleeping.
		
01:10:36 --> 01:10:37
			Like I wasn't.
		
01:10:38 --> 01:10:42
			It was there was a lot of kind of,
I felt like I was being jarred and
		
01:10:42 --> 01:10:47
			brought out of my experience.
Listen to people's sense
		
01:10:47 --> 01:10:52
			experience. And that's one of the
times many, many times it's
		
01:10:52 --> 01:10:53
			happened, like, forever. I feel
like
		
01:10:55 --> 01:10:58
			I'm having a connected moment that
someone tries to get you out. This
		
01:10:58 --> 01:11:00
			is not we're supposed to do you're
supposed to.
		
01:11:02 --> 01:11:05
			Yeah, no, you have to listen to
that, you know, because we're all
		
01:11:05 --> 01:11:08
			different. So unfortunately, yeah.
I mean, human beings are always
		
01:11:08 --> 01:11:10
			trying to force people to do
things, but at the end of the day,
		
01:11:10 --> 01:11:14
			you know, right, what connects you
to the divine. So just let your
		
01:11:14 --> 01:11:15
			heart you know