Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart for Muslimahs (Monthly Sisterhood Halaqa Part 8)
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AI: Transcript ©
We are reading from purification of the heart. So I don't know how
many of you have it I hope you do at home, if not here, but the way
the this class is, is it's really this is just a catalyst for
discussion. We all read from the section that we're talking about.
But I would really love to have an interactive discussion here. Feel
free to jump in, ask questions, share stories, anything that
speaks to you about the topic that we're covering. So this book
covers it's an English translation, which was abusive of
emammal volutes, classical text method at the globe, which is
talking about the diseases of the heart, right. And it gives you the
signs, the symptoms, and the cures. So it's a really
comprehensive text, but we've already started it. So we're kind
of in the beginning of it. Last time last month, we talked about
the first disease that was mentioned or as mentioned in the
book, which is Bohol. Or miserliness, okay? And what I love
about again, the book is that you are introduced to this topic, and
right away, you might have your own understanding of what that is
like, okay, cheap people, people being miserly. But then there's so
much more to the spiritual disease, right? So once you start
reading the, you realize, like Subhanallah, there's actually a
lot of iterations, examples of miserliness that go beyond just
money. It's, you know, it's the way that you react to things right
how your attachments are to material things, whether or not
you have chivalry or you know, these beautiful qualities that we
are encouraged to have as Muslims that also is very much tied to the
disease of miserliness. So it's just, it's a lot more than what
you think it is. So, with that said, we are going to start the
next disease which is called wantonness, in English, or Botha
in Arabic. Okay. And I'm going to read the verses, and then we're
going to talk about the definition and treatment. So this disease was
Mala.
As for the disease of wanton this, its definition is excessive mirth,
which, according to the people of knowledge is having excessive
exuberance. Treat it with hunger and the remembrance of the
Hereafter reminding yourself that God says He does not love the
excessively joyful, which alone is a deterrent. So the definition and
treatment those are the verses the next disease the man writes about
is wanting this bottom, along with, excuse me, along with
excessiveness, an unbridled desire to need and once more. The word
bopper has several meanings, the inability to bear blessings,
bewilderment, dislike of something undeserving of dislike, and
reckless extravagance. The Mahmoud says that according to the people
of knowledge, it is defined as excessive mirth and exuberance.
The Quran says, Obey God in His messenger and dispute not among
yourselves, lest you falter, and your strength departs from you,
and be patient for God is with the patient, and do not be like those
who leave their homes Botha filled with excessive pride about their
state, showing off before people and preventing others from the way
of God. And God encompasses what they do. chapter eight, verse 46,
to 47. And how many cities have We destroyed that exalted in their
livelihood? Here are their homes now uninhabited, after them except
for a few. Chapter 28, verse 58,
the world of ancient civilizations is full of ruins of one scram
structures and communities that used to be teeming with life,
inhabited by people who exalted in their wealth and accomplishments.
When one visits these ruins, one notices the utter silence of these
towns, each soul that lived there is now in another state, awaiting
God's final judgment.
So before we continue, you know, let's let's talk about this a
little bit.
You know, we again live in a time that this is not only, you know,
normalized, but it's very much the standard, right that we constantly
want more of everything. It's insatiable appetite for whether
it's wealth, whether it's material goods, right, and just think of
the clutter in all of our homes right now. Let's just all be
honest, I will be the first to admit and I'm in the process of
decluttering because inshallah we will be moving soon. Still local,
but the decluttering part
assess. I'm really looking forward to it. Because it's overwhelming
when you actually take inventory of how much we have, right? Isn't
it?
Isn't it? It is, oh, it's not only I feel, it's it puts me in a state
of immobility, right? Because I come into a room, or like the
garage is a whole other.
You come into a space and you're like, Yo, Allah, like, I don't
even know where to begin. Right? I don't know where to begin. It's so
much. And then you think, how did I get to this point? That's the
real question. Right? That's the real question of how did we get to
this point? Because I don't think anybody did it overnight, right?
It's a gradual collection of things that you don't need or
holding on to things that are of no benefit to you. Right? And so
there's two sides to it, we want more, but then we also have a
difficult time letting go.
And we have to question that, like, we have to analyze what is
it that we're why what is it that we want to prove, like by
collecting
5060 For those of us who are hijabs
all the hijabs that are, I don't know, my hijab, cause it's a mess.
Right now. I have like two stashes. And it's just colors
everywhere. It's like,
I had a system. But
anyway, that's a whole other story. But all those jabs and how
many of them? Do we actually wear? Right? I know if you're like, if
you're being honest with us, you probably have like five that you
were right for the every day of the week, like what you'll switch
or recycle those. And then there's like, 60 that you don't even
touch. And there's fabrics that you can't stand I have fabrics on
me, I hate that fabric. Well, why do I have it? Why haven't I
learned to let go of it, right? And show that's coming in, I'm
telling you, it will, there will be a huge purge. But it's because
you know, sometimes you're gifted. So it might not be necessarily you
going out of your way you're gifted. But Subhanallah when you
look at like, you know, I mentioned this, when I was
reflecting on my, my mother, Allah, may Allah bless her. One of
the qualities that many people in our family, and people who knew
her attested to, was that she loved to gift. And if she received
a gift, but she knew that it was nice, but she didn't she wouldn't
use it. She would accept it. But her intention was always to be
gifted. And it wasn't a matter of you know, she she appreciated the
gift, but she wanted to not hold on to things that were going to be
beneficial for someone else. So she would take a new item and
instead of taking it you know gift receipt, return and get the money
get your own stuff right now it's a good thing. Maybe someone so
will benefit from it, right? It's not something I would necessarily
wear or use. But someone saw me and so she always had like these
stashes of brand new things with tags on it, that she couldn't wait
to give to someone that make their day and she was very smart.
Michelle because she knew everybody's style. So she knew
like colors, this person will go this color, or this person like
shoes, this person like purses. So it's Paula, that type of
thoughtfulness, right, because gift giving is a is a love
language, right. And if you are fluent in it, then you will pay
attention to people and like what they their style, like how they
dress. But how many of us could do that right now, like how many of
us have clothes in our closet that we know that would look so much
better on another person, right? Like maybe even a specific person.
So this is the type of like when you're reading through these
descriptions of the diseases, you want to always obviously self
reflect you want to bring it back to yourself. We've read the
description, wanting more, being living with excess, right almost
being in satiated with the consumption of goods. And then the
treatment is coming. But part of analyzing your behavior is being
honest. So that's one aspect of it, you know, and then also this
excessive mirth is another definition that we have to talk
about. Like when we are
taking if we're if we're really looking at life, through the lens
with which the believer should look at, we should instantly be
reminded of the Hadith of the prophesy set of who said what if
you knew what I knew you would
laugh little Right? and weep much. That is giving us the worldview
that a believer should have like when we look into the world, there
are moments and pockets of joy and happiness. We're going to feel
it's natural life as a was so generous, so generous. He's
constantly giving us gifts that we don't even ask for. Or that we
don't even. I mean Subhanallah this past week has been so IGF.
I've had so many experiences this week that I'm just like Allahu
Akbar. Allahu Akbar.
I'll tell you just a quick example of something that happened
yesterday. So, two days ago, I'm thinking about my son, who is
who's 13. And I'm just trying to think of classes for him Arabic
specifically. So I was like I need to follow up with he's a relative
of mine, by marriage sounds like I have to follow up with him because
he knows, he's gonna give me the plan of which course to go through
which program, whatever he's written a book, I have this whole
internal conversation with myself. And subhanAllah, I've made the
need to contact him, Okay, this was like two days ago, yesterday,
I opened my phone and I kid you not Allahu Akbar, his
previous wife, who is a friend of mine, this teachers messages me,
out of the blue, I haven't heard from her and like, over maybe a
year or two. And she's like, psycho Sister, I'm sending you a
link to my son's their shared child, his Arabic class that he's
gonna be starting in two weeks, he's using the same material that
his father used. And I thought of you, here's the link.
And I'm like, Allahu Akbar, I didn't even have to do anything. I
just had a wish to contact her ex husband, who's a teacher. And then
here, she's given me the link and I can and I'm already intending to
sign him up, because it seems like a fantastic program. I'll share
the details if you want to, you want to know about it? Asked me
afterwards, but I was just like, subhanAllah Allah, you're so
amazing, you just out of the blue, you know, gifted me. So if we
realize that we're gonna have gifts like that are moments that
just will make us full of joy, whether it's our children, our
family, our spouses, our pets, whatever it is, that brings you
joy. But overall, we have to feel the weight of existence, you know,
this is a serious place, and we should be serious in our life.
Right? We should feel serious, we shouldn't.
We shouldn't be prolonging childhood, well into adulthood,
which is what this culture does, right? This culture wants to
extend childhood all the way until the end. So that's why you have
looking around and you see this excessive mirth, this constant
need to be entertained, this constant need for, you know, for
just indulging the appetites, right? Because there is no focus
on a serious, you know, worldview, or, or that there's more to the
story than just eating and drinking and having fun and
vacationing or, or looking for opportunities to just be
entertained, right? There's much more to life. And this is why, you
know, we have to step back and see, are we partaking, because we
live in the West? Are we partaking in the culture around us? Maybe to
the, you know, to the detriment of our own spiritual selves, because
I'm noticing it on social media, I'm sure we're all seeing it,
right, that there is this sort of just lack of seriousness, I could
say, in our community, especially I think, in the virtual spaces,
you know, hopefully, we still retain our adult when we come in
gatherings in the masjid, I hope we don't start seeing some, you
know, some of this sort of excessive behavior in public
spaces. But I think online, it's almost like the walls are down,
and everybody's guard is down. And it's like, hey, let's be silly.
Let's do dances. And let's, you know, do skits. And let's just
constantly, you know, invite this,
this type of, you know, very
just this, this culture of just levity that's so excessive, you
know, where it's like, everything's funny, joking around
about everything. That's not the state of the believer, you know,
that's a state that we should welcome, nor should we sustain it.
That doesn't mean we can't laugh. It doesn't mean we can't find
moments again, of joy, but it's a matter of, I value my time, and I
realize the temporality of this world. And at any minute, I could
be, you know, it could be over at any minute. I'm sure. Within just
the past month, how many of you have heard of
anybody dying suddenly.
Sudden Death is one of the signs of the end of time. So we're going
to continue seeing that. And that is a wake up call for all of us,
when we see these things, these stories, these headlines, it's a
wake up call for all of us to say subhanallah I cannot squander my
time. I cannot waste my time on things that are going to take me
away from the remembrance of Allah and
I want to really take my life seriously like I want to be a
person of weight, you know and not not necessarily not physical way
but like waiting this you know where you are. You didn't you
command respect because you take yourself seriously. And again, we
can laugh we can find moments of, of levity here and there but it's
more about your view of yourself in this world, and just the world
in general, right. So now he goes on to say wantonness is a disease
to which the worlds of fluent societies are particularly
vulnerable, which we belong to right we are part of that
demographic. In societies that are extremely pleased with their
standard of living, their extravagance and hubris are
obvious. One sign of these conditions is the ease with which
people enter into debt and live contentedly with it. People are
consciously living beyond their means in order to maintain the
appearance of a fluence. This is a product of wantonness, willingly
falling headlong into debt, in order to achieve a certain
material standard of living.
The Eman posits that the treatment of wantonness is to intentionally
experience hunger, and to reflect seriously on death, and the
hereafter. experiencing hunger can be achieved through voluntary
fasting soem or by simply reducing what one eats. One aspect of
traditional medicine related to a spiritual cosmology. Whether this
tradition was Greek, Chinese, or Arab, is the belief that too much
food harms the spiritual heart, and in fact could kill it was
commonly believed that people who eat in abundance become hard
hearted. Those who consume an abundance of rich foods may
literally become hardhearted. With arterial sclerosis, the hardening,
hardening of the arteries sclerotic mean means hard, rigid
or stiff. Likewise, what happens to the physical heart may parallel
what occurs to the spiritual heart.
This is really important because
you know, the connection, the mind, body and soul connection is
really important to think about and to reflect on every day, a lot
of our spiritual malaise, like this feeling of just not being
really feeling good, or just a feeling of unwellness oftentimes
can be tied to diet, it can be, it can be tied to sleep, too, can be
tied to different things, right. So the practice of fasting is
really important. And I, you know, I've talked about this a lot,
because I, you know, recently just for my own health benefits,
I've been doing intermittent fasting, which is a great way to
practice this, you know, if you can fast during the day, for the
benefit of, you know, fasting and actually making it fast,
wonderful. But even doing something like intermittent
fasting periodically, what it does is it really helps you to feel
that,
that feeling of hunger, which we all know what it feels like,
right. And for some people, it's going to be obviously harder for
others than for others. But the point of deprivation, which is
what hunger is, is to remind you, right? to only take what you need,
because you so manage, how many of us are very productive, like I
will tell you, I am so much more productive when I'm fasting, like,
I feel. So light, I feel like I could just do a lot, right. And so
there is that benefit of withholding, and depriving
yourself of certain things. So that you can see for yourself, you
don't need, right, you don't need to consume x, y, or z or you don't
need to have this. So when it comes to just generally, you know,
as a practice, fasting is right up there with the other reminder,
which is the remembrance of death, to really bring us into that state
of seriousness, right? And that's why, again, if you've been around
anybody who's ill or unwell, you know, if you've nursed anyone back
to health, right? Do you have time for silliness? Do you have time?
It's there's a state of somberness of seriousness because obviously,
you're watching someone who's not, you know, doing well, but it's
also a reminder of your own mortality, right? When you're
treating someone who's not feeling well. You can immediately feel
some sort of empathy like wow, you know,
you don't you don't want to experience what they're
experiencing. So that brings you into that awareness. And that's
the kind of sobering you know, experiences are those are the
types of sobering experiences that can help to prevent
At this disease, because if you don't have the remembrance of
death or you don't practice constraint restraint and constrain
yourself from doing certain things, this comes, we're
susceptible to it because we live in a very, you know, indulgent
society look around. Right, we, that's what he's saying, like we
live in a time and a place where we could easily fall into this.
And the way to protect ourselves is by being in the practice of
deprivation, hunger, and the remembrance of death so that we
don't, you know, become irresponsible with our for
example, spending, right. And I know, I remember being young in my
20s, and 30s. And it was very popular at a certain point, to
have name brands of everything, and you, it's these are, you know,
the ways that we show our social status. So there's their status
symbols, but what they do, unfortunately, is, they contribute
to this disease of the heart, if you feel like you have to have a
certain name brand, in order to, you know, meet or keep up with the
Joneses. Or to impress people, right? That is, you know, that's
going to,
it's hard to overcome that if you feed that monster, right, because
then it'll be the next item, hot ticket item, that's what trends
are. Look around, and you'll see, you know, quote, whether it's
fashion trends, beauty trends, a lot of them, they shift, you know,
every week or month, there's something new and you have to get
this new thing and that new thing. So it's kind of like, you know,
it's just never ending. Whereas when you realize that those things
are just you know, that once in a while, okay, you want to splurge,
maybe you've worked hard for something that's different, right?
But this is about habits, this is about lifestyle. And because we're
in the West, and this seems normal, we may buy into it, but
actually, it causes a lot of spiritual harm, because it
promotes the attachments that then lead you to have all that clutter
in your house, and then lead you to walk into a space and your
eyes, bypass all the humans in the space, but you want to look at,
oh, what kind of furniture do they have? What kind of, you know?
What, what's their home decor? Like? How many people now do that?
They'll walk into someone's home without really paying attention to
the people. But they just want to see what how are they living?
Right? I want to see what they have. And that's why social media
is the same. It's a very dangerous place. Because the most popular
people on social media are the ones that open the doors, right?
There are people who are very popular not because they're
talented, not because they have necessarily some unique message.
It is because they give you a window into their very private
life. You see their bedroom, you see their marriages, their
children, you see their clothing, some people take into their
closet, like really I don't need to see your closet, but why am I
watching it, you know, their pantry, their secret pantry door,
you know, we get So mu i don't want that. It's it's just the the
neffs is so weak to these things. We're very weak. So when we
indulge in these things, it just it over, whelmed us, and then this
is how you waste time. And I remember the first time I ever
heard about tick tock which is why it came out so aggressively
against it
is because I was on a halacha and you know, this was way I think
before even the pandemic pandemic started in 2019 when it wasn't
popular because it boomed and 2020 it boomed in the pandemic, right.
But prior to that it wasn't as popular. But I remember being in a
hopper with some teen girls. And I had never heard of anything being
so addictive before in terms of like, you know, just the way they
described it. But this one girl, she was like, oh tic tock is so
addictive. And she's like I have spent the longest I've ever spent
on there was four hours. Because she was like, it was like
incessant like scrolling,
you know, just kept going. And I didn't have it. I didn't
understand it. But I remember being completely shocked. Because
I looked at it. I was like, four hours like you just sat and
watched tic tac for four hours.
I couldn't imagine that right.
And I didn't because I didn't understand it. And then I when I
eventually downloaded because I wanted to see what is this app.
I was like, oh my god, they know exactly what they're doing. And I
actually incidentally, ironically
thought a tick tock recently of this one. He's a famous tick
talker. But he was just kind of describing his experience. And he
said something really great. And he said, it's just so unnatural
to, you know, to swipe, and you see, like, you know, someone's
home are funny video, and then you swipe and you see someone who just
is recuperating from cancer treatment, and then you see
someone who lost their spouse. And then you see a funny video and a
cat video, he said, that is the most unnatural human experience,
but we still do it. Right.
And so these are, we're living in a time where these mediums are
just too powerful and too strong. And we're susceptible and weak to
them. And the way to kind of snap out of it, right snap out of
these, these bad habits, these vices is to remember, your time is
ticking away. You know your time, every minute we have, we're we're
not doing something of benefit, or not, whatever that is, because
there's of course EBA that we do for the sake of Allah's product.
But when we serve our families, when we serve our communities when
we're doing our work, which is an Amana and we're trying to gain
Halal income so that we can do good, that's all worship, right?
It's all considered worship, if we're not doing those things. But
we're wasting time, then. You know, unfortunately, the wake up
call is going to come. And it'll hit us because you know, whether
it's
another loss of a loved one or our own potential, emergent, urgent
situation, you know, the diagnoses, the phone call the
doctor's reports, the blood results, that is going to wake us
all up, right? And then what,
then it's like the race for oh my god, I have, I've limited time, I
gotta make up, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, yes.
So
it's completely taken over. And I think honestly, just looking
because I pay attention to trends, I do social media literacy. So I
kind of look and watch at what's going on. And I feel it is a major
contributor to a lot of the mental health crises we're having. And a
lot of just the debilitating levels of depression that people
are in, because you're consuming and it's partly because of this,
this disease, right, which is, we're, we're just consuming
constantly. And when it comes to social media, I'm, I'm really, I
feel like we have to get to a point in our lives where we take
we have a we're at a crossroads either. I'm on here to consume.
And then whatever that means, which is see things haram
inappropriate things which are going to affect me, right? Because
that's what you do, if you're just going to be there to consume. It's
kind of like going out in the middle of a minefield, and just
prancing all over it, you're gonna get hit. Right? And you don't know
with what not the danger of social media and the internet is there
are very inappropriate things on there that will come come at you.
And you're just like, Oh, I didn't want to see that. But I did.
Right? So you're either going to be a victim, and you know, it's
gonna
hurt you that way. Or you're gonna say, Okay, it's here, and I want
to be doing something beneficial. So producing content, which is not
difficult to do. And that's a whole other topic. But I really
think everybody has to make that decision, what am I going to do?
I'm either consuming or I'm producing and producing by the way
can also be reproducing, which is sharing beneficial content. So if
you don't, if you can't make content, then your intention part
of intentionality on these spaces should be I will absolutely look
for beneficial things to share. So that I'm not on here, just, you
know, harming myself and collecting bad deeds and sins, but
rather, you know, being a person of action, being a person of
calling to Allah subhanaw taala. And I had a class right before
this, and I appreciate so much. We have a brother named City of Santa
on clubhouse. It's an app that if you're not familiar with it, it's
an audio input app. It's it's a good app, but we do classes on
there. So he came on, and you know, he just he gave some really
great reminders. But one of the things that he said is that, you
know, we've kind of as Muslims as a community.
Know, there's a term I don't know how many of you are familiar. I
learned it, but it's not a very commonly used term. It's called
foisting. So when you foist it's like you have a responsibility but
you put it on so
What else? Right? You're responsible for something, but you
don't do it. So you have someone else do it for you.
And so we've kind of passed the buck I guess foisted the
responsibility of Dawa of teaching to certain groups, or teachers,
you know, we just think they're the ones who are, should be doing
that, when, in fact, part of our role as Muslims as believers,
especially in the privilege of that we have here in the West, and
in this age of information, where there's so much access, and we
don't have to deal with a lot of the barriers that other people do
in even Muslim countries, like there are Muslims in Muslim
countries who cannot do active Dawa, because the government will
come down on them. We don't have that problem. Yes, Islamophobia
exists. But for the most of us, especially here in the West, in
California and in the Bay Area, that's not necessarily our
experience, right? So we are going to be held accountable for our
lack of actively trying to teach people about our faith. And that
doesn't mean you know, getting an A, in a town square on a
microphone, standing on a stage and reading verses from the Quran
or debating people and putting up tables and pamphlets. That's not
the only way that you could do Tao or going knocking on people's
doors. It's not our way. Tao is being really proud of your faith,
like loving it. And how do you inculcate love? I mean, if you
haven't gotten to that point where you're like, oh my god, I love
being Muslim. Yeah, Allah, thank you. For this gift of Islam, I
would never be anything else. I would never wish to live 1000
lifetimes. If I didn't have Islam, I don't care what if I was a
princess or, you know, leading this? I wouldn't want any of it if
I didn't know you. Like, that's the kind of degree of absolute
gratitude and love we have to feel for being Muslim. Well, like you
like I am just, sometimes I break it down because I am like, I could
have been anywhere like some of us who are immigrants. You know, I
was born in Afghanistan. I know there are others Marshall here
from my home land.
I could have been another statistic and a forgotten person
blown up by some mine in the middle of Kandahar where I was
born. Nobody would have known I existed. Forgotten, like so many
people, right? This is what we just read how many towns were
destroyed their ghost towns out, nobody exists. Nobody remembers
them.
But Allah didn't want that for for us. Right? He took us out a very
difficult circumstances. Those of us whose parents even immigrated
here, wherever you came from, brought us to a land where we are
able to flourish. We are I know that there's a lot of talk about,
you know, this type of oppression and systemic racism and yes, those
things exist. But I believe as Muslims, we are privileged in many
ways, like I feel the privilege of being Muslim. I do I feel people
automatically trust me. Like when I go into a space, don't you feel
that way as especially if you wear hijab? I feel like I earn trust
without saying a word. People just look at me. And they feel like I
could trust you with my belongings. I've had literally
people will Can you watch my stuff for me? I'm like, of all the
people in this Starbucks or in this, you know, coffee shop or in
this supermarket? Why me? Because we're wearing a symbol of dignity,
of honor of commitment of inshallah trustworthiness that
comes with some privilege, right? I've had you know, I've had many
experiences where I could just see that this is from Allah it's you
know, this is what he promises that when we put him first he will
raise us and He will elevate us and so we feel that that this is
the gift of Islam. So we have to you know, really appreciate that.
That we are just immensely immensely blessed with our with
our deen and then want so very much to share it right to share
that with others Yes.
So wow, happy happy 100% Right. In fact, just the other day, I think
a week ago or so my, my son said the exact same thing. He said
mommy and he's 13 years old. He's a mommy. I notice like converts
really seem to be very strong Muslims, like, you know, he just
had a lot of respect. Like they really take their faith seriously.
And you know, he was contrasting it with some of you know, the
people that he knows that were born into Islam
Who don't practice fully? And there are times when when they
were growing up, they would really have a hard time. Like, why don't
they pray, and you're trying to explain that to a child who was in
fifth era, you know, who hasn't yet learned had the education of,
you know, what dunya can really do to people is hard because in their
world, their it doesn't make any sense. You know, they believe
Alhamdulillah because they're in that federal state, may Allah
preserve their faith, but it's really, it's a struggle to explain
to a child like why does it you know, Islam is such a, it's the
truth, it's hot, and Allah said it, why aren't they doing it? Or
what's even harder is when they see outright sinfulness, you know,
like, like drinking alcohol or doing other haram that really is
hard for them to reconcile. But you know, you explain that and
this is why understanding the human being is so important and
being able to frame those conversations in the context of
yes, we have often but we also have emotions, we also have
appetites and for some people, because they're not doing this
work of really spiritually cleansing themselves what happens
is the opposite takes a backseat it's supposed to be the driver.
Right? Your your intellect is supposed to be driving you, but it
will not drive if your appetite of soul or your irascible soul is in
control your emotions and your appetites can override and hijack
you right it's it can happen and it does happen. And for a lot of
people that's just the reality of it. So how do you regain control
this
face yourself look at your diseases confront yourself, stop
wasting time and be honest you know that you have work to do so I
always say like when you're doing this yet presume you have every
single disease because you likely do go into this book like Oh man,
I'm riddled with all of it all 25 diseases I have now how can I get
rid of it right but if you come to this like oh, I don't think I
miserly you're gonna be proven wrong. You are we all are we all
have it. I don't think I have thought that Oh, no, you do your
excessive, you know as again go into your closets and all the
clutter and it'll, it'll prove to you Subhan Allah so then he
Yeah, Allah. He says scholars of various religions often expounded
on hunger as an important sensation that feeds the spiritual
growth. feeling of emptiness in the stomach, they said is
excellent for the body as well as the soul. According to EMA Matic,
fasting three days out of the month is the best way to maintain
a regular engagement with hunger. The fasting regimen known as the
fast of David or dellwood, and he Salam consists of fasting every
other day, with the exception of religious holidays. Fasting
Mondays and Thursdays is also an excellent regimen. Whichever
pattern of fasting one chooses, it is important to maintain it for
fasting is an excellent form of worship, that is beloved by God
and praised by the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, you it
also is a protective shield against wantonness. The second
aspect of the remedy is to remember death and the hereafter.
What is meant by remember here is not the common function of memory
in which one merely recalls a fact without any reflection. In fact,
no spiritual remedy mentioned in this book involves a flaccid
process. Each requires exertion and a true desire to achieve
success in its fullest sense. Freeing the heart of diseases such
as wantonness requires remembering the hereafter and its various
states and tumultuous scenes. For example, one should reflect on the
state of the grave, which will be either a parcel of paradise or a
pit of *. Once a person dies his journey in the hereafter
begins. Meditation on hereafter requires learning more about its
various stations and passages, including the traverse Sirat, over
which people must cross and behold, below the awesome inferno
of the Hellfire. Consistent reflection of this nature lessens
the apparent value of extravagance, and in general, all
the fleeting enticements this world has to offer, whether it is
wealth, prestige, fame, or the like. The Imam cites the verse God
does not love those who exalt in chapter 28 Verse 76, whether it is
in their wealth, status, or anything else, images glorifying
wantonness are ubiquitous in our times, even as one drives he or
she is accosted by billboard advertisements that show the faces
of wantonness people in ecstatic postures with exaggerated smiles
and gaping mouths, showing off their supreme happiness because
they own a particular type of car, or smoke a certain brand of
cigarettes, or Ghazal, a special brand of beer, alcohol that
destroys lives and minds. According to advertising theory.
When people are constantly exposed to such images they not only
inclined toward the product, but desire the culture associated with
it. Advertisers sell a lifestyle that glorifies wantonness and
subtly dissuades reflection. All those smiling people on
billboards, and all those who aim their glances toward them will
inevitably die someday and stand before their maker. This is the
ultimate destiny of all human beings. It is the real it is this
realization, that is the slayer of wantonness Allahu Akbar. Right?
And we have to again, you know, bring it back to the individual,
bring it back to yourself, how can you
stop being excessive? What is it that you're doing? That's
excessive? Is it? Again, going back to the consumption? Is it
food? Is it you know, enjoyment and leisurely activities? Are you
playing a lot of games? There are people who I mean, I don't know if
anybody has that here. But there are many people in our community
who are heavily addicted to video games, right? Or the these
alternate reality Virtual Reality spaces where they just go into a
world. That's not reality, and they want to be there.
Or is it again, media of other types of music, music can be quite
addictive, there are a lot of people who spend an exorbitant
amount of time listening to lyrics. And now it's an
interesting because I saw a video, I think, yesterday, the day before
of someone saying that it's coming out now in Hollywood, there's been
a lot of I think, with Tik Tok and the explosion of social media
influencers. And also the parallel of what's happening with, you
know, Hollywood and the music industry. You know, celebrities
don't have as much clout as they once did, right? It's not as they
used to have a lot of power. Everybody would wait around for
the Oscar season, everybody was just like, you know, at the edge
of their seat to see who's dressed and what what couples doing that
nobody cares anymore, right? A lot of people are over it. They're
like, whatever, who cares what the Kardashians are doing? Right?
And so I was going somewhere with that, and I forgot what I was
gonna say. But oh, the video I was watching was saying that a lot of
these, the music industry, it's coming out now that they actually
do you know us like, or are tapping into very demonic
energies intentionally. Like there's, there's more and more
people exposing. And I we've all kind of I'm sure have heard these
theories about Hollywood, and I don't think they're really
theories, I think they're very real, there's definitely a lot of
demonic, you know, activity. But specifically with music, they were
saying that the the frequency, you know, if you study like music, and
what the effects it has on the soul, right, like, the way that
the the tunes are the levels of whatever, they're all the, you
know, the the mechanics are, of how they produce those sounds,
that there are certain frequencies waves that actually can affect the
soul. And so that's why you have people physically viscerally being
affected by music, you know, and for us, you know, we have the
opposite, right? When we're listening to, for example, a
beautiful recitation of the Quran, or then that's also very spiritual
experience because of sound, right? So these functions are
these faculties that we have our gifts because they enable us to
have these experiences. That's obviously a positive thing. But
imagine the flip of that, that you could be channeling or listening
to music that's set to a lower frequency that is actually trying
to it's like a, you know, an opening or access something that
could potentially be harmful to you spiritually speaking. And it's
no wonder I mean, I found it very interesting, because I'm like,
there's just so many people addicted to their music, like they
cannot get over it. They, they're very, it's like this codependency
that they're have their headsets on all the time. They're just
really attached to their music. And it could be lyric. So you have
to think for yourself, is that your vice? Is it? As I said, food,
is it material things? Do you just like to shop window shopping is a
thing. But if you're doing it to the point where you know, every
week, you have new items, or you always feel the need to update
your wardrobe and you're not really thinking about the carbon
footprint of your consumption, how much you know, what are you doing,
in terms of, you know, the where you're buying your products from?
Because there are definitely websites are definitely companies
that have terrible practices that are actually part of a slave labor
force. It's a proven thing. We have to be conscientious
consumers, the foods that we eat, you know, chocolate coffee, if, if
it's not fair trade if it's
not reinforced compliant, if it's not organic? Do you know where
you're getting these things from? Do you know that there's a effect
on the heart, when you're consuming things that are not from
source from halal, or, you know, or proper sources, you're, you're
contributing to that. So whatever you think you're an excess of take
some time. Inshallah, you know, this month or today or however
long you want to, and think about what you can do to make a change
for the sake of Allah, what are you willing to give up? Right,
what are you willing to give up.
So, we all are going to have different answers, but that's a
good way to, to start. And then, you know, think about death,
remembrance of death. And definitely practice fasting, I
can't, I really speak highly of from my own experience with it. If
you've never tried him investing, just just buckle up, it's, it'll,
it's a practice, but it gets easier and easier, and you feel
like your body's just come alive. I used to have, I mean, I have
other health complications, but a lot of my pains, my joint pains
might just things just go away, I don't feel it, I can pray without,
with ease, motions just go up and down. Whereas, you know, when your
body is fatigued and burdened by the ingredients, and it's
sometimes not even how much you're eating, it's the quality of the
ingredients, right.
And I'm sure you've read all the articles, and you've seen all the
videos, but we do have to, I think overhaul our diets, you know, we
shouldn't be introducing certain foods to our kids and getting them
habits like I know, that's like very popular talkies and Cheetos
and like, all these terrible ingredient foods that people bring
in, but they actually have addictive chemicals that do impact
the brain that do affect the, you know, the body and it's just,
we're creatures of habit. So the more conscientious we can be about
these things and make better choices, Inshallah, we'll see the
benefits of those things in our minds in our bodies and our
spiritual hearts and in our practice, and that's that
ultimately, you know, the objective is that we, we better
ourselves, and nothing has to happen overnight, but intention is
really important. So Inshallah, hopefully we all start on the
right intention, but that was a chapter on but that are there any
questions or, or comments? I know, it's, it's getting it's past five
minutes past the hour, but we can, if you want, anybody wants to
leave, you're free to leave. There's no, no constraints here.
But I can stick around for a little bit longer if we want to
chat or just
have some comments, yes.
Yeah
that's a good question. Mashallah.
So, you know, one of the subjects I talked about is emotional
intelligence, right, which is, really, it's a framework, but
it's, it's, it's multi faceted. And it teaches you how to, you
know, maintain your own practice, while also being empathic and
considerate of other people. This is the way of the prophesy set.
And of course, the entire framework in my estimation, is
really just describing the Sunnah of the Prophet. I said, I'm in the
process, Adam, was very attuned to, he read the room, he read
people, he knew, you know, people's states. And so we have to
kind of how, like in this culture in the corporate culture, right,
you leave your, your personal business when you go into the
office, and then vice versa, when you go home, you should leave work
at home, right? That's kind of how we're trained to think, in many
ways. Part of the believers good up towards his fellow or her
fellow human beings, is keeping things that are preoccupying you
right within yourself or with people that are open to those
discussions. So if you're getting pushback from anybody just
remember it and say, Okay, I'm not with that person, right? But if
you have the opposite friends who are like yes, I'm on the same
wavelength. I feel you I want to talk about this and they are kind
of in the same page. feel very free to speak about with them. And
may Allah provide us with companions in this life that we
feel free with right we feel we're on the same like, you know, road
with because it feels really good, right to have a person who you can
just turn to and be like, yeah, man, I've been thinking about this
like me too. And you're like, oh, and now you have someone that you
can really just, you know, purge and and let all that out too. And
it's very cathartic. And so I would just say pay attention if if
someone's feeling angst
I'm trouble. And I know because I get requests a lot from from
people who are, they are they have and it's one of the diseases of
the heart. It's called antipathy toward death kind of hit the moat.
So when you have, like a fear of death, it's very paralyzing for
some people and they can't handle it and that's something that they
would have to work on independently, but we don't want
to ever trigger people into like a panic state or into real you know,
just some sort of a fear state that we can't get them out of so
just sensitive bring up a topic and if you find no reception move
on don't personalize it. It's not personal maybe they're just not at
that level and Allah has awakened you like the way i Another simple
thing to also remember is, like send it said, right, he said, and
that's when the m v that Matt and teboho So what he's teaching us is
two things that most people aren't a diluted sleep like state. Right?
They're not awake yet. So it's like the matrix. If you see death
in every everywhere you go, and you're not like,
morbid about it, you just are very hyper vigilant. That's a huge NEMA
from Allah, it is a gift you the veils are lifted for you, right?
He's open the veils, and you can see the reality of things because
death is inevitable. A lot of people just don't have that view.
And they're in that you know, slumber sleep kind of spell of
dunya and so just be like, okay, they can't see it. And I'm not
gonna it's not personal to me, they just can't see it and make
the offer them that a lot opens their heart and mind but I don't
think we should stop thinking about death and we shouldn't stop
talking about it, which is the choice and judicious judicious
with who we speak about it with but it's a very good question.
You're always welcome to talk to me about death. I'm death is a
topic I will never stop talking about or I don't shy away from
I've always had that. And I think that's why 100 Allah, Allah makes,
you know, has made my losses. He's made it easy for me to to cope,
because I understand and it's from him I lost I've lost people in my
life. But I'll tell you, um, it's actually I got emotional during
Macula because of the versus the, the man was reciting. And just a
memory hit me right after Was it during the DA
so I lost one of my closest friends allied him her when she
was just barely 30. And for some reason, I didn't. Anyway, I the,
the process of her passing was very sudden, she died overnight in
her sleep. She had an eating disorder, and we don't know how or
what happened, but she, it was inconclusive, her death. So she
just Allah took her soul in the middle of the night. And that was
a very difficult process for me personally, because I had to watch
her. Her family just couldn't do it. They were really overwhelmed.
So I watched her, him do that. And though it was painful, because you
know, when you are, like the religious friend in a group of
people that are not as religious, they do turn to you, right? They
want you to give them strength during those times. So your own
mourning has to be
weighed, you know, it has to wait. So that was kind of the
predicament I was in, where I was like, I felt a lot of feelings but
her mom, her sister, her brother, everybody in her family just kind
of turning to me for support emotional support. And seeing me
if I started breaking down there we're gonna break down right so I
had to be that pillar of like, no challenge she has an agenda and
just all those reminders during the whole burial process, the
washing everything, and then even after so when I got home that
night, it was like finally my time you know, to just break down and
Hamdulillah I Allah so cutting Hola, soy Kadeem, he accepts Dawes
and I've witnessed it more times than I can count. But I begged a
lot because it was I had talked to her two days before she died. We
were supposed to go out to lunch. There's so many things left
unsaid. And I just I was like, Y'all, I just want to see her
so
I made
I made a doc.
And I fell to my knees. As soon as you said Mary, I fell to my knees
and I begged Eliza yellow please show me her in a dream. I just
need to know she's okay.
And
a lot. He listens and he answers he's Mudjimba della da he answered
my dog. I saw a beautiful dream of her. And
from the law I was I was overlooking a cliff
And I was washing dishes and then this like cute little cottage look
like a cottage. And it's like this beautiful, idyllic scene. Just
imagine like this green, you know, Cliff like the Shire, you know,
I'm looking over it. And there's a clothesline white clothes hanging.
And I'm just like, wow, this is such a beautiful place, I was just
washing dishes. And all of a sudden I see her. And she's like a
little child, she had beautiful blonde curls. And she's like a
little child weaving in and out of the cloth of the clothesline.
And then she goes to the end of the cliff, and she's standing
there. And when I saw her, I was like, Oh, my God, I see her. So I
got so excited. And I dried my hands, I ran outside to go look
for her because she kind of disappeared. And when I went, I
see her and she's standing at the cliff. And somehow I'll never
forget the stream for the rest of my life, y'all. Oh, please don't
take this memory for me, because it's so vivid to me. But she's
standing at the end of the cliff and she's looking up and her mouth
is open in ecstasy and all like she's just frozen.
And, and I'm looking at her like, I remember just looking turning to
her, like, what is she doing because I didn't see what she was
looking at. I just saw her positioning. And then I look up
into the sky and Allahu Akbar.
And there's the moon. And in the moon is flashing Allah, Muhammad,
Allah Muhammad. And then around the moon is like a circulating
like a real a carousel of like verses of the Quran. And it was so
vivid. And it was like, she was just gone, she was gone. She was
with a lot. And that's all I just woke up after that dream. And I
was like, Allahu Akbar, thank you, you gave me the gift. I just
wanted to see where she was. And that dream, I told her to her
family the next day, and they were just just overwhelmed. Because
everybody was, you know, when you have a sudden death, it's very
hard, you don't know what's happening. And so it brought a lot
of peace to my heart. And I just feel like that and other
experiences I had.
A lot has shown me through my life, loss of my father a life I'm
with the loss of my mother just this past May. That death is real.
It's all we're all on that trajectory. No, none of us is
going to escape it. Nothing to be afraid of. If you have Latin alarm
from those who are on your tongue and in your heart and you live
every single day, grateful to your Lord you are in, you're drowning
in gratitude. Because you see that without him nothing. You're
nothing, you're You're nothing. And he sustains you. He wakes you
up from slumber and sleep and he gives you nourishment and food and
he gives you love and he gives you dogs that are answered before you
even ask them, He gives you sustenance and he's giving you
abilities. Look at all of us, all of us walked here, you know, I
don't see anybody here who's you know, was not able bodied. We have
so much to be grateful for. I see people that are, you know, in
wheelchairs or have other disabilities and I'm like how
Allah Ya Allah, you did not try us with that or have lost their sight
or who have lost something. They they are in difficulty. But here
Allah gives us ease after ease after ease, and we can't say
Alhamdulillah wa Shakur, Lila, thank you Allah. So we have to
just be in a state of total gratitude to a lot and I think,
you know, I'm so grateful for my teachers, because that has been
the number one teaching, be grateful no matter what, be
grateful, right, as Mary said, you know, mashallah, thank you for
saying that no matter what, you have to be grateful, because every
state as the prophet lism told us, right.
You know,
the state of the believer, whatever state we're in,
is what hamdulillah Kalia? Right? Whatever state we're in, whether
it's tribulation, whether it's, you know, abundance, it's all good
because we're believers. And I think that's what we have to hold
on to that. It's, it's easy to, you know, to let shade on, you
know, come into your mind and mess with you and think, oh, I don't
have this because so and so has that. And, you know, I wish I had
this and you play those mind games with you. But you have to be like,
No, I have to hate Allah. I'm the wealthiest person. I'm the
wealthiest person because I have the shadow on my tongue. And there
are people out there who have everything materially. They don't
know God, they don't know Allah like, to me. That is a nightmare
situation that you're walking around this world. And you don't
know who the prophesy sort of is. You've never read the Sierra, you
don't know how to like, who he is like, how do you exist on this
play in this world and not know him? But that's our job, right?
That's what we're supposed to be doing.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly. It's
for loved ones, especially our parents, and we have to prepare
for that if your parents are still alive, male love protective
preserve them. But you have to get to that place of why am I holding
on to, you know them when, when it's at their detriment. They're
feeling pain, they're burdened. They're, you know, there's a state
of anguish that people enter into, when they're older, and they're
suffering and they've lost a lot of their faculties. And they're
having, you know, tubes, and it's just, it's so much suffering. So,
death is a cessation of that suffering. And it's a most
important thing, it is the step that we all have to take in order
to know our Lord and to have the ultimate prize of finally, you
know, in sha Allah, may Allah reward us all with Jensen for
those in the beatific vision where we come and finally, all the veils
are removed, and we can see our Lord and quite an answer or ask
all those questions that we want to ask. And that's we have to go
through the door of death to do that. So I agree with you, 100%.
And I think the more you think about death in this healthy way,
preparing your heart, the more you're not afraid of it. It's the
fact that we have adopted this culture is attitude, which is
everything death or close to death is horrible, and terrible, and
dark and morbid and sick, and twisted that we shun it. But then
what does that do? It just attaches our hearts to the dunya
more, and that's the true poison, you're taking the real poison
here. That's not poison, that's reality and happen. That's the
elixir, the remembrance of death. If you continue to read this book,
it is the elixir, the panacea, the cure all for almost every disease
in this book. So it's the advice of the process and at the end of
the day, if he tells you to do something, you better know what's
good for you. So we have to have a mind shift and that's why
again 100 out of Kalahari hamdulillah net method Islam These
are the words that we have to be internalizing and repeating often
within ourselves and to our loved ones as well like you'll get
through it Allah is with you.
Exactly
I'm leaving
right
absolutely. And that's a very that's a sign of practice we
should all ask for the best death right? Fatal Fatima we asked for
that we asked our sponsor to give us a good ending out of this life
and so that's a daily doll we should be making and that's
another part of our members of deaths was perfect and you're
right because you know when we know that your sudden death is a
it's a tribulation or one of the signs of the end of time then we
should seek its opposite right which is I want to have time to as
you said, you know, tie up those loose and say goodbye to everybody
make Toba most importantly right make Toba and be in a place of
preparation inshallah so medical
so my last real talk
yeah.
So
Right.
Yeah, and that's why these. Yeah, and if you remind them
periodically, every day, or every other day about these realities
that it won't come as a shell shock sock type of, you know, oh,
I didn't even anticipate this because they've already been
prepared that this could happen. And I'll tell you just briefly,
and we can install it close out, because I don't want to tire you.
I know, it's still a work week. But briefly, the other day, you
know, it's interesting, you said that, because sometimes, in the
middle of the night, you know, it's happened to me before, well
just wake up and it's hard to go back to sleep, right. So in those
vulnerable states, everybody's asleep, like three o'clock in the
morning. You know, you're kind of thinking about things and
overthinking. So I have travel coming up soon. And I haven't
traveled in a long time. And, and so of course the bliss is right
there to try to
contribute to my crazy thoughts. And so I started catastrophizing,
I'm like, oh, man, what if I get on a plane, and like, the plane
blows up, or something happens? And then you know, I'm taking my
son with me, and I'm like, Oh, my God, what if we both die? And then
I'm leaving my other son and my husband? So I'm like, all these
crazy thoughts, right? They're just, they don't, they're just
coming to me for some reason. And I don't usually entertain them.
But I started kind of having a little bit of a man, do I really
want to go on this trip, kind of feeling right? And I caught myself
like, No, I want it, we can't escape it. If it's other, you
know, whatever it is. So I'm catching myself realizing it's Wes
was, and you know, we pray hamdulillah Fajr comes in, and I
have a practice of reading Quran at Fajr time. So I open my phone
to find the verse that I'm going to read.
This is why I mean, Allah communicates, Allah communicates,
don't ever, ever doubt Allah subhanaw That he's always
listening and he's there, we have to pay attention to the science.
Well law, he I read this verse, Do you not see that Allah has
subjected to you whatever is on the earth, and the ships which run
through the sea by His Command, and he restrains the sky from
falling upon the earth, unless by his permission? Indeed, a lot of
the people is kind and merciful.
I mean, you can't tell me this is a coincidence. You know, here I am
in my state of like, panic and fear. And he's like,
don't you see what's going on? Who's in control? Right? That's
our Lord. And he's always unveiling his signs to us, but we
have to be paying attention.
So, you know, Al Hamdulillah remembrance of death, as I said,
is a very big part of the spiritual practice, fasting,
silence, silence, we have to welcome more silence, you know,
the noise of this dunya is overwhelms the soul. So bringing
in quietude is really important to the mind. So, as women, I know a
lot of times we are so giving, so giving sometimes to our own
detriment, but we have to have some boundaries around our mental
well being and if that means timeouts, or I need a break, I
need to go on a walk, I need to go ride or drive around the
neighborhood, I need to go into the garage. So I'm I know when you
have young kids, it's like for me for a while the garage was my
sanctuary don't come in here. I know, friends of mine go into
their closets. They will call me they come in my closet, the kids
don't know I'm here.
Wherever it is, find a place that's yours, physically for
yourself. And don't feel bad about it. Don't feel bad about taking a
break. Or having a chocolate stash. You know, chocolate is
therapy for some people, whatever you need, and then also do what we
did in the beginning, which is create a visual visualization of a
refuge for you and a lot nobody else not your parents, your
children, your spouse, what whoever it is your best friend,
nobody, because that's going to be your experience in the grave and
you need to start preparing your soul for that singular like that
that single or that very private experience of being in solitude
with Allah subhanaw taala and not to be afraid of it in sha Allah we
have nothing to be afraid of in the Rila who are in the Raju
so just like more hidden everyone inshallah will end in Doha and if
there's any buddy with questions we can talk afterwards but will
and so without further him what I said in detail in Santa Fe Casa de
la Latina am and why I'm so sorry Hattie. With the vessel will happy
with the vessel the southern Subhanallah humo behind the good
Chateau La ilaha illa Denis suffered
quarter two booty Lake Allahumma salli wa salam O Matic I say that
I want to learn or have you been in Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
salam ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam to Sleeman Kathira Subhana
rahbek herbalist at EMI UC for when was salam ala l Mursaleen.
100 Allah horrible admin of Hamdulillah. Again, just like more
feeling, Inshallah, we will see you next month I do highly
encourage you to get the book if you don't have it. We'll continue
with the reading. And please let others know as well. It's an open
door policy. And if you're available to Saturday, join us in
sha Allah for the vicar here, same place nine o'clock to 11 We'll
have in Sharla sister Amira, by the way Amira, I have to introduce
you to those who don't know you, I have to say this because you're
such an inspiration to me and you know, you didn't know I'm gonna do
this, but I'm gonna put you on the spot for a moment. America came to
us from Tampa, Florida, I don't know maybe within a year or a few
months ago.
I just so much admiration for the sister of mashallah coming to a
brand new community and I know many of you do that. I know. I
know. There's a lot of implants from other places. But what I so
admire about Amira is I came to know of her not in this like way
of oh, how are you through the health club but that she was
seeking to do programming here at MCC to serve this community right
away you come to a new committee, you don't know anybody, but you're
like I need to get my hands and I need to get in it. So she's coming
monthly to do readings for our kids here. Because Ma sha Allah
has blessed her with the talents to be able to reach the little
hearts. I've watched her videos I've been in programs with her I
just have so much admiration and respect for you and your the
spirit with which you do your what you do, masha Allah, may Allah
bless you and reward you and I invited her to join me on Saturday
because I really think that her intention of trying to create a
sisterhood is what I want this I want this I want multitude. I want
more of this. I want sisters to come into these spaces and just be
like, I just want to come and just you know, breathe and be free and
feel at peace and then be able to talk about experiences freely
without judgment or without worry. You know, it's just a space of a
real true sisterhood so much Allah. She'll be with us on
Saturday. May Allah bless you. Thank you so much.