Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart for Muslimahs (Monthly Sisterhood Halaqa Part 5)
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AI: Transcript ©
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam.
Ala Ashville, MBA one mursaleen say that our Modena What have you
been on Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while he was Samuel
salam to Sleeman Kathira against Ramadi. Qumran with the label. But
again to everyone for thank you for being here, as well as those
who are watching online. hamdullah we are continuing our reading of
purification of the heart, which is the English translation of
mythos. Kullu by Imam and Mahmoud. This was of course done by Sheikh
Hamza Yusuf, who was local to us here in the Bay Area, Al
Hamdulillah. We started already reading the book. So for those who
don't have it, please do look into getting it so that you can read
along with us. You can also watch the previous recordings, but we're
going to pick up from on page four. So if you have the book,
please do take it out. And we'll read from the bottom of page four
where we have freedom and purification. So now Mahmoud,
speaks next about freedom, which is achieved when one realizes the
qualities of shame and humility, and empties oneself of their
opposites, shamelessness and arrogance. If you recall, before
we got to this section, we talked about the two prerequisites of
purification which are acquiring these two virtues of humility and
modesty, right. And part of that is to, again, understand the
utility of shame because shame can be useful, it's it is an essential
process that we should,
we should know, we should, we should incorporate right self and
this is self accountability. It's not external shame from other
people, it's just being aware of one's own sinfulness, showing
contrition showing remorse. So developing that is essential to
the purification process. With these qualities come true freedom,
wealth and dignity, which require Manumission from the bonds of
one's whims, which is becoming free right from from the bonds of
our desires, people may claim to be free, yeah, they cannot control
themselves from gluttony, in the presence of food, or from illicit
sexual relations, when the opportunity presents itself, such
a notion of freedom is devoid of substance. And you can see that in
our culture here, right? One of the tragic things is that
childhood, in this society is often really the preparation of
when, you know, a person reaches the age of adulthood, that all of
a sudden, all of these things that they, you know, were not able to
do, they can suddenly do most of which is very harmful, right. So
whether it's 18, or 21, depending on on what it is. But that's sort
of the idea that a lot of young children are given even as they're
young, right? Not yet. You can't do that yet. But at a certain
point, you can do it all. And it's so exciting. And so they build it
up and build it up. But what they don't realize is that of course,
they're just pushing children into very destructive behaviors.
And also enslaving them or preparing them for, for, you know,
them to become enslaved by their own desires. That's really what
all of that conditioning is. Freedom has real meaning when, for
example, a situation of temptation arises, and one remains God
fearing, steadfast and in control of one's actions. This holds true
even when the temptation produces flickers of desire in a person who
nonetheless refrains from indulging. Imam Al Ghazali, speaks
at length about the desires of our limbs, and organs and refers to
the stomach and the *, as being the two dominators. If they
are under control, all other aspects of desire are kept in
check. So, just a little bit about that, too, when when real
opportunity for temptation arises, especially when we talk about, you
know, some of the
the things that are very open in this society.
We have to remember that, you know, the there there are people
who, there's a hadith where Allah says that seven people will be
under his shade on the day of judgment. And among that are, it
is is counted the one who is you know, on the brink of basically
doing something haram in respects to,
you know, an illicit relationship, let's just say, and they remember
God in that moment, and then they stop, right. So this is a very
sad, it's a sign of immense faith to be able to do that. Right. And
so we're just keeping that in mind and then as far as you know, what
do you
evitable Sadie says about the desires of the stomach and the
private parts. This is also important to understand, I think
last time I may have introduced it, I've been giving so many
different talks on this subject that I it's all a bit a blur, but
I may have introduced the triune nature of the human being right
that this is something that many of our scholars mentioned, in
particularly my metaphysically that understand that the human
being is his comprised of three parts, right? So you have the
intellect, which is represented by the man or you know, thinking
person. So there's a, that's the, the, the analogy, or, or the
example given for the intellect is a person who's thinking right, a
reasoning person. And then you have emotions, which are the
example given for emotions, where the analogy is, it's like a dog,
right? But not just any dog.
It's a hunting dog or a guard dog, right? A dog that has a purpose
that can be trained. So you want to think of your emotions as being
useful and necessary, right? But they have to be trained, you can't
just be triggered by everything and overly emotional about
everything, you have to know, what is the right appropriate emotion
per circumstance, right. So emotions have to be seen as the
same way you would see a dog or an animal that you would train, and
then the appetites are represented by a pig. So this is helpful.
Again, I mean, even young children learning this can really help to
understand why when we see ourselves in these three ways,
then we understand that the most balanced human being is the one
who, whose intellect is governing, right, which is why even our
teachers point out like the head, right, the mind is at the top of
our bodies, right? And then you have the heart where our emotions
reside. And then you have the stomach and the, you know, the
private parts, all of that being the lower part of us. So there's a
reason for that, because the intellect has to be governing. So
if we're not able to reason through our emotions, and really
understand, you know, what, when to be angry, for example, right, a
lot of people are angry. And they're, you know, they're out
there, in these very heightened emotional states. And sometimes
anger can be very dangerous, right? That's why we have crimes
of passion, or what are crimes of passion. These are states where
people completely lose all rational thinking, and act on
emotion. So a jealous spouse may find something and then react in a
very horrific way. Or road rage, right? How many people have been
devastated because someone was not able to control their anger over a
simple traffic issue, right. So this is what happens when emotions
get out of control, and we're not able to rein them in we are quite
destructive, first and foremost to ourselves, but we also can
weaponize emotions towards other people, right, marriages have been
completely broken apart because of people who are not able to
maintain their emotions, right. So all of this goes back to the
importance of understanding your nature as a human being. And
knowing the order and the the way to bring about balance is to
always
preserve and nurture the intellect and how do we do that with
knowledge, right knowledge of Allah subhanaw taala knowledge of
the boundaries of Allah subhanaw taala knowledge of the prophesy
centum as the perfect example for the human being, how many of us
know things about the prophesy centum? Because we've heard them
maybe hundreds of times, but we don't copy him on that issue. That
is, we have to think about that for a moment. What does that say
about our intellect, if you know that the prophesy sort of did
something, and he is sent as the exemplar for the human being, in
order to help us to perfect ourselves or to reach the closest
thing possible to that. And you know certain things about his way
of doing things, but you opt to do things according to your own way.
What does that say about your reasoning, right? For example,
like earlier today, we were talking, I did another class on
clubhouse, which is an app and we were doing agenda to change our
condition. So I mentioned that there's a hadith of Aisha Radi
Allahu Allah who said that the prophets I sent him when he would
wake up four in the morning from bed, he would emerge like a lion,
basically pouncing you know, on their prey. So that is a very
powerful visual, right? Think about that for a moment and think
about how you wake up for Fudger right.
Five more minutes 10
or when it's right. Or we just turn over. We're very, you know,
slow to react in that sleepy state to our own detriment. Because how
many times have we done that trusting ourselves only to find
the next time our eyes open? It's 10 o'clock in the morning, and the
world is, you know, running. And there we are feeling horrible and
miserable. So when we hear examples like that, it's for us to
reevaluate our way and say, Wait a second, if the prophesy centum
first of all, did that he's teaching us something, right? It's
not just for us to go, wow, he jumped out of bed like a lion.
Amazing. Okay, then what every aspect of his life is for us to
Yes, be in awe of, yes, increase our love for Him. Absolutely. But
more importantly, the greatest sign of love for someone is that
you emulate them, right?
children when they follow their parents, right, it increases our
love, because we're so happy that they're obeying us, and that
they're doing what we tell them to do. Right? This is all ways that
we show love. So when we learn about the prophesies that um,
and that he did certain things a certain way, it's for us to,
again, emulate him. So that's where reasoning comes in. Right?
That we, when we're reasoning, we're really thinking on that
logical level. But that can't happen if we don't have the
knowledge, right. And that's why it's so important to learn to
learn about his example, to learn about his words, to learn how he
reacted in different scenarios, right when he had difficult
people, for example, some of us, our biggest challenge is likely
difficult people, right? It's not even internal, it's that we have
around us very difficult people to deal with, well, we can learn from
the prophesy centum, he had people in his family and people in his
tribe and people around him that were very difficult. But he he
teaches us by way of his example. So this is what knowledge does is
it helps us to find better ways of dealing with things and breaking
free of patterns that are destructive to us, right. And so
when people you know, have emotional distress regulation, and
they don't know how to regulate their emotions, then the best
thing to do is to just point them to the best of examples and say,
well learn, right learn from from his example. And of course, you
know, there's a lot of benefit to seeking help if you need and
mentorship and what have you. But really, the best thing that we can
do for ourselves is to just learn. So this is where that
understanding of the triune nature of the human being is really
helpful is that again, emotions are meant to be controlled, and
then appetites as well. If we don't learn how to govern our
appetites, and see that they're also you know, that there's a
purpose for them. And it's not just to rain free and to allow
ourselves to indulge every appetite, but we have to be very
moderate, in that because if we don't have moderation, then we
have excess and if we have excess we harm ourselves right? If you do
anything, when it comes to your your appetites that is in excess
you over eat, you can over drink, drinking water, beyond what's
normal or unnecessary could kill someone. Right? I mean, that's
kind of shocking, right? But you could actually die from an
overdose of water, if you overwhelm your system with that,
right? So any everything in excess is harmful. And also, if it's, you
know, insufficient it can be harmful to so this is why balance
is finding the balance, right? Like where am I? What are the
boundaries? So 100 that are Sharia has boundaries for our appetites,
right? We have Hadith that say that your stomach should be
divided into thirds, a third for food, a third for water, a third
for air. This is logical, it's balanced. That makes sense. So
when you decide to eat a pint of ice cream, although certain times
of the month you can't be blamed for that. But if you do that, you
may regret it right? Because you get the stomach ache. We tell
these things to our children, right we know how to stop them
from indulging but it's we have to look at our own behavior because
when we indulgent things like that, we're going to pay the price
for it. And then also, just a good way to look at it is that if you
see your your appetites, like a little monster that resides within
you, then to withhold from the monster will keep it small, right
and it can't really impact you very much, but to keep feeding it,
what's going to happen, the monster is going to grow and then
when the monster grows, it's going
to take over. So if you think of it that way, then you'll realize
that I need to practice restraint for my appetites, I don't need to
be excessively or, again, you know, not, you know, indulging at
all like, you know, restraining too much, I need to find a
balance. So, just an important, important points there to
remember, the tongue is also a formidable obstacle. There are
people, for example, who appear incapable of refraining from
backbiting, and speaking ill of others, and they often do so
without realizing it. It is common for people to dislike
impoverishment or humility, because they perceive them as
abject pneus. Yet the Prophet said a lot. He said, I'm chose poverty
over wealth. So I'm sorry, before I continue, I wanted to just
quickly mention about the tongue. Also, this is another really
important point that we have to remember that we have, you know,
inroads to the heart, right to the spiritual heart, and we'll
inshallah get to them soon. But one of them is the tongue. So if
we don't learn to control our speech, and make sure that when we
speak, we're always truthful. And then we're not engaging in idle
talk, right? Then this will affect our spiritual heart. So this is
why, you know, making sure that the company you keep is really
good company, if you have people who like to gossip, and we're
always, you know, tearing other people down. You are held
accountable when you listen to that, because your, your ears,
first of all, are engaging, right? You're, you're giving them an
audience, but it doesn't absolve you from blame, just because
you're not saying anything. So you want to be mindful, like, why are
you accumulating sin for another person's, you know, insecurities?
Like, let them you know, I mean, it's always best to advise them
and tell them, you know, it's not right, we shouldn't talk about
people. But if you find that they don't listen to you, and they
don't really care, and they keep doing it, then that's when a
boundary needs to be imposed. And you need to say, you know, I, I
just, I really don't want to talk about that person, or please don't
tell me about people's business. You know, I, it's not good for our
hearts, or whatever you want to say, but you have to have a line.
And if you're not strong enough to, to put that line, then you're
gonna suffer the consequences of their sins because you're
partaking in them by giving them an audience. So we have to be
better about establishing some boundaries, in our friendships or
even in our personal relationships. Sometimes it's not
a friend, it's your sibling. Sometimes it's your mom, sometimes
it's your dad. But when you speak the truth,
and you do it with obviously respect and IWA, you don't have to
be rude, you don't have to be self righteous and act like you're
better than them. And just a tip when you're advising, it's always
really good to include yourself in that, you know, it's going to go
much better if you say, we shouldn't do this, right, as
opposed to stop gossiping.
Right? Nobody wants to be reprimanded and scolded like that,
and knifes, you know, their neffs will just
not hear it. But if you do a gentle reminder, a loving reminder
that says, I'm looking out for you, like I'm looking out for
myself, then hopefully that person will get it and if they don't get
it right then and there. Make dua in sha Allah, they'll get it, you
know, eventually in sha Allah, but will guard your tongue. So now
back to impoverishment. It's common for people to dislike,
impoverishment or humility because they perceive them as
objectiveness. Yet to the Prophet saw the light in southern chose
poverty over wealth, he did not have money in his home, he did not
have jewelry, he slept on the floor upon a bed made of leather
that was stuffed with palm fibers, and he had two pillows in his room
for guests. In much of today's culture, living this way would be
considered extreme poverty. A memo alludes stresses that dignity with
God comes to those who are humbled before Him, those who plays prime
value on how they are received by their maker, and not by how they
will be judged by the ephemeral norms of people dignity and honor
our gifts. The Quran says about God, you exalt whomever you will,
and you debase whomever you will. chapter three, verse 26. proofs of
this Divine Law abound. There are many accounts, for example of
people who are once in positions of authority and wealth, but now
find themselves as poppers completely stripped of their
former glory, reduced in many instances, to Ward's of the state.
God is powerful, powerful over all things, and all good authority and
provision are in his hand, not ours.
You know, this
idea that people's entire realities can be altered is
something that really should, you know, stay with us that whatever
circumstance you find yourself in today, could very well be
different tomorrow. And it is entirely up to Allah subhana wa
Tada, it's his decree, he could wish for you either more, right?
And check out on lies, hidden accom, right, if you're grateful,
I will increase you, or he could test you, and completely remove
123 or more of your blessings. Now, having that awareness,
what will should immediately put you in a state of humility, right?
That Allah could take all of this away from me at any point.
There are people who, whose entire lives have been completely flipped
upside down in a matter of not just a day, in a matter of minutes
or seconds, think of earthquakes, or fires or other natural
calamities that have literally leveled entire cities, right?
Think of a person whose wealth was invested in something that tanks,
you know, there's like, for example, right now, we all know
there's a crisis happening in the world. It's very serious, and the
stock markets are absolutely being affected people have lost wealth.
So I was just, the last point I was making is that,
you know, we see examples all the time, where people circumstances
completely change.
And that's really important to keep in mind, because that's how
we stay humble, right? That Allah subhanaw taala, if he wishes to,
he could remove our blessings and put us into further tests. And
that's why, you know, many of our scholars have remarked on just
giving us perspective, right. And I've shared this the famous story
of Immanuel paella with his teacher, about the four states
that people can be in. But these are things that we should really
remember, memorize. Because when we memorize these things, then
when we're in those moments of wallowing in self pity, right,
which a lot of times, the neffs will want us to do. Oh, woe is me,
why me? These are all shaitan ik thoughts, right? Because they're
actual accusations. If you think about when you say, Why me? Why
did this happen happened to me? Where are you accusing?
Right? That's why we have to be very careful with those types of
thoughts. Because they break our trust in God that if ALLAH SubhanA
decrees something for you, there is higher than it, you it's your
job to determine what that is, it's your job to, to reflect and
to figure out why. But to just say, Why me or I didn't deserve
this, I did everything right, is an accusation against God, it's a
claim of injustice being done to you. So it's very dangerous. But
the way that we protect ourselves is to remember, again, that there
are four states that every person can be in, and all of them are
tests. Right? Sometimes we think that people are only tested with
hardship, but that's not true. You can be tested with blessing.
Right? So if you have a lot of wealth, if you've been given, you
know, wonderful family, upbringing, you have had an
extraordinary education. You, your your home, life is really blessed,
blessed, you know, you just feel like everywhere, Mashallah. It's
ease. door's always seemed to open for you, you have privilege. You
have beauty, you have knowledge of lineage. These are gifts from
Allah subhanaw taala. But they're also responsibilities right, that
you will be tested. What are you doing with those blessings? Right?
Are you just living it up and enjoying life and you're in your
own bubble, and your own reality? Do you think of other people? Do
you help other people? Do you share your blessings with other
people? Are you in a state of gratitude to all of us past that?
Or do you assume it's all because of your efforts? Are you deluded
by your own ego to think that you didn't, you went to the school,
you you you go to work, you get that you know, money and it's all
your efforts? Or do you attribute your blessings to God? So the test
of the person who has blessing is gratitude. Right? That you are
constantly in a state of gratitude to Allah subhanaw taala. That's a
test. The test for the person who is in tribulation is patience. So
that means what? It doesn't mean you have to love your tribulation.
No, you can be sad about it, you can be unhappy about it. But don't
let your heart turn from God, where you start to look at God
with this all the biller
Again lends that somehow he's put you in an in a, you know that he's
trying you and testing you unjustly. That is a demonic
thought, right? It's from shaitan. So you want to be very careful to
control those thoughts. And just to remember, there's wisdom,
there's wisdom, there's was even if I never learned of it in this
world, I have to have trust that God knows what's best for me. And
because it happened, there is wisdom in it right as the prophesy
centum said, that how wondrous is the affair of the believer in
every circumstance, right? It's good. It's all good. Alhamdulillah
Allah Cooley had in every circumstance, for the believer
only is it good. So if you're a believer, and you're being tested
with something, it is good for you, even if the external reality
seems not, so it's good for you.
That's the second test, then there's the state of being in
guidance. So if you have hedaya, from Allah subhanaw, taala, you're
a Muslim, you pray you believe you do all of the things that you
should be doing? This is of course, a blessing as well. But
it's also a test in that, again, who do you think is the one that
you are? Who do you credit for your guidance? Do you think it's
you because self righteousness and arrogance is easy, or it can
easily overcome people who are religious? Right, I'm sure we've
all seen that in our lives from people who, whether they're family
members or strangers, you see self righteousness. And I'll tell you a
story, because it's, um, it's an important lesson that I had to
learn. Many, many years ago, some of you may have heard this story,
but just to, you know, to be real here.
Many years ago, I when I was first practicing Islam, I came into this
understanding of Islam that basically was very externally
focused, always looking at other people judging other people. It
was just the norm. That's what I did, I would look at how women
were dressed, and I would make judgments about them. I would look
at how people prayed and I would make judgments about them, I would
want to know, what is their manhood or way of practicing, I
would inquire very inappropriately, because that's
what I was taught was what we should be doing gatekeeping
policing, whatever you want to call it. So one day, this was many
years ago, I was at the airport. And I had just come from a flight.
And I was waiting for someone to pick me up. And so when I was
outside, this was before I think, even 911, maybe there were I was
sitting outside and I was waiting for my ride. And so I was just
people watching, you know, waiting, they're looking around,
and I see a car pull up to, you know, the, the terminal. And they
actually parked right across from where I was sitting, this was at
the Oakland airport here in the Bay Area. So I was sitting there
and just watching and this lady came out of her car. And she was
in a tank top and shorts, and she had blonde hair, she was a white
woman. And immediately My mind went to all the thoughts that you
know, stuck on a law, look at her, how she dress how inappropriate.
And I just had a lot of bad thoughts about her negative
thoughts about her. And in the midst of judging this woman,
I noticed that she had her trunk up, she was doing something in the
back of her car, she puts the trunk down and she looks right at
me. And she starts to walk towards me.
And that was strange, obviously, because you know, it's I don't
know her. I don't know why she's looking at me. And I don't know
why she's walking towards me. But she comes right in front of me.
And subhanAllah at this point, my heart is beating a little bit
because I'm like, This is odd. Like, it's as if I felt kind of
exposed. Like, you know, I had all these negative thoughts about her,
did she hear them? You know, that's kind of where my mind was
like, Why is she here? She comes and she stands right in front of
me. And in the most humble disposition, I will not forget her
head hanging glow. She's looking at herself and me. And she just
says, said I want a comb.
And I'm, like, shocked beyond belief, because those are the last
words that I would imagine that this woman was to even know, let
alone say. And she said, I know I'm not dressed appropriately, but
I'm almost one.
And then she said I saw you and I thought it was like a sign from
God that I should come talk to you. Because I have a child and I
want to raise him Muslim but I don't know where to get books. And
she said all these things to me and my mind is just like,
like, I just instantly felt like it was actually like a punch to
the gut because moments before I had judged this woman so harshly.
And Allah subhana wa Tada was teaching me
very valuable lesson that I never forgot that. Who do you think you
are right? Here I am dressed head to toe, I was wearing a bya hijab
completely covered. But my internal was so ugly, right? So
externally, I may have looked apart. But what was my internal
state as I'm judging this woman. And here's this woman who
externally doesn't fit, you know, she didn't look even she
recognized it herself. She wasn't dressed appropriately, but her
internal state was so humble and so beautiful. And she was seeking
God and she wanted to be right. And she took me as a sign of God
and I took her as a sign of what Johanna? I don't know. But I it
was just,
you know, I talked to her, I gave her my information. And I got
through that conversation. But what I was left with was absolute
humility and to be into and feeling of humiliation before God,
which was good, it was a good form of humiliation for me, because I
realized that all those years of me stressing to others and to
myself about the importance of dress and outward, you know, the
way we present ourselves, I had neglected my internal state to be
even in a situation like that and make presumptions about someone
that's a perfect stranger. Right. And Allah somehow God taught me in
that moment, the Don't get ahead of yourself, just because you wear
the hijab, and you pray, and you're practicing Islam, don't get
ahead of yourself and think you're better. And that's where, again,
when we have guidance, we have to keep our enough's in check, and
make sure it never starts to think of itself as better than anyone.
There could be someone a perfect stranger, as was this, you know,
in this situation, who outwardly maybe denies God who outwardly
says horrible things, but we don't know their end. Right? And we
don't know our end. And that awareness is what keeps us humble.
We simply don't know. We that's why we always ask for what is not
hot, am I right? We ask Allah subhanaw taala for giving us a
good end, because we could be doing everything right. But at the
last minute of our lives, if Allah subhanaw taala doesn't will for us
guidance, we could be misguided. May Allah protect all of us from
that, but it's very important to stay in that humble state. So that
is a test guidance, the test of guidance is to keep your ego in
check, to never get ahead of yourself and think you're better
than anyone and to also attribute to your guidance to Allah
SubhanAllah. whatever good you do, it's guidance from Allah, it's not
because of your efforts. If you wake up, and you, you know, pray
extra cat, or you do anything extra, you're able to give to
charity, everything is by the permission of Allah and by the
mercy of Allah, and by the father of the, you know, the, the blood,
the favor of God upon you, but it's not because you're generous,
you're pious, you have all of these virtues that we tell
ourselves, right, so that's the third state. And then the fourth
state is misguidance. So if that's your state, if you're in a state
of, of where you're doing haram, and you're doing things you
shouldn't be doing, then your test is to return to God. Right? To
never make your sins bigger than God because sometimes, people you
know, this is also one of the traps of shaitan is that he will
make us think that we're so far gone that Allah will not forgive
us. And I've worked with people who that's what they think that
I'm such a sinner, though, you know, I'm not good enough for this
Deen. And I'm not good enough to pray. I'm not good enough to do
these things. These are all demonic thoughts. So if you're in
a state where you're sinful, and you've been making the same
mistake, 100 times 1000 times, however many times don't impose or
don't close doors upon yourself, when God keeps them all open,
right? Allah subhanaw taala has kept the door open, always or
Towba always open. For us. It's just our job to seek that. So
those are the four states. And if you're aware of these four states,
and you're really understanding then when you look out into the
world, and if you're, let's say struggling financially, and you
see other people who have wealth, you don't make conclusions that
oh, there, they have it so much better than I do. Or when you see
people and happy relationships and you're in a struggling
relationship. You don't make assumptions that Oh, God loves
them more than he loves me. Those are shaitan ik thoughts what you
say is, they have their tests. I have my test. I need to fix
myself. I need to focus on my test. I need to stop worrying
about what other people are going through. And sure you can will
wish
Good for them. But to focus on other people at the expense of
focusing on yourself is why so many of us are in trouble. We're
always looking outward and thinking, why don't I have this?
Or why don't I have that? And in that, what do we do we deny our
blessings. Because all of us, regardless, even the one who's
being tested with tribulation, is in fact, in blessing, because
what, it could always be worse, right? And that's those are the
the other perspective that we need, that your tests could always
be worse. You could, it could be in your dunya and not in your
Africa, right. And it could be in this world, it could be in the
next world, not in this world. So when you think of your tests, you
have to put them in that you know, that context as well. So these are
all reminders for us to remember that, again, Allah subhanaw That
is the one who only one who exalts and he's the only one who debases
right, from this, we derive an important principle. If one
ignobly pursues an attribute, he or she will be donned with its
opposite. God humbles and humiliates the Haughty ones, those
who arrogantly seek out rank and glory before the eyes of people.
So you see, they're seeking position. But also by the debases
them I've read a story recently about someone who said, they were
at a restaurant, and,
and someone was so cruel and just ruthless to the server over their
dish. You know, sometimes people lose it right? And just to show
you the proof of this, so they were scolding and yelling and
really being vulgar. And they said, they witnessed all of this
happen in front. Like in real time, they said, The man got up
yelled at this person said some horrible things brought them to
tears. Then as soon as he got up and walked out, he fell flat on
his face. Right? That's Allah subhanaw taala. Right. Like you
don't, don't think you can walk around treating people like that
you're better than them. Because that's, Allah will show you right?
He shows people all the time, but we just don't make the
connections. So if you're going to be haughty and arrogant, then be
prepared to be humiliated. In this way, be prepared to be exposed and
to be because your intentions are not noble. You're just seeking,
you're trying to puff yourself up or look as though you're important
or act as though you're important act as though you're better. When
you do things like that. And you're asking for the wrath of
God. The Quran gives you examples of Iran and Cora and their abject
fall in disgrace. Conversely, so the opposite of that is, if one is
humble before God, he will render him or her honorable, so every
time we debase ourselves or we lower ourselves before Allah
subhanaw taala and show that humility to him, he will honor us
because that is, you know, his reward for our humility. So
humility is always the answer. And you see a lot of people who, this
they've missed this, right, they, unfortunately, are our, you know,
are, are taught or believed the opposite, which is just to
irrigate themselves and to speak as though they are something
they're not.
So in my mind, it goes on to explain that there is no salvation
like the heart salvation given that all the limbs and organs
respond to its desires, if one's heart is safe, so two are the
limbs and organs, for they carry out the deeds inspired by the
heart. The limbs and organs of the corrupt become instruments through
which corruption is spread. As the Quran states. Today we shall set a
seal upon their mouths, and their hands will speak to us and their
feet shall bear witness to what they have earned. That's chapter
36, verse 65, and spend on the needy in the way of God, and do
not throw yourselves into ruin by your own hands, chapter two, verse
195. And we shall say, taste the chastisement of burning, that is
for what your hands have forwarded for yourselves, and God never
wrongs His servants. That's chapter three, verse 181, to one
to 82 they shall have immense torment on the day when their
tongues and their hands and their legs, their witness against them
for what they had been doing. Chapter 24 Verse 23 to 24 So all
this is to say what that our bodies right will all be witnesses
against us everything that we do all of the Haram that we're doing,
don't think that it's going to just go away I mean inshallah with
Toba. If we're really sincere, then yes, almost panic can erase
it all. But if we don't do that, then they will bear witness
against us right. According to a hadith the tongue is the
interpreter of the heart. Hypocrisy is wretched because the
hypocrite says with his tongue, what is not in his heart, his
wrongs, he wrongs his tongue and oppressive
says heart. But if the hardest sound, the condition of the tongue
follow suit, we are commanded to be upright in our speech, which is
a gauge of the heart state. According to a prophetic tradition
each morning, when the limbs and organs awaken in the spiritual
world, they shutter and say to the tongue, Fear God concerning us,
for if you are upright than we are upright, and if you deviate, we to
deviate, engaging in the regular remembrance of God Likud
safeguards the tongue, and replaces idle talk with words and
phrases that raise one and honor the tongue is essential in
developing courtesy with God, which is the whole point of
existence. So I'm gonna I think stop here because I wanted to open
it up for questions and anything that anyone wants to add. I know I
did. Someone that had asked, Did you still have a question?
Oh, okay. And inshallah inshallah after the class inshallah until
after the class, Allah. Anyone have any questions or anything to
share? Yes,
exactly. No, I'm so glad you mentioned that. Because that is
something that we don't think about that if we're preoccupied in
one problem, then in many ways, it was protecting us from a host of
other problems, right. So you kind of have to look at it like, better
this than something worse, right. So if I have difficult family
members, if I have, you know, financial issues, as
I mentioned before, when problems are in your dunya, right, and
they're not in your deen, they're not they don't afflict your faith,
it's considered a huge blessing, right? Because if you are having a
faith crisis, this is of course, far worse. Because I'm, you know,
only Allah can at that point, it's, you know, but when it's
dunya, it's just you being tested, you having to, you know, maybe
call on, you know, someone and get some counsel, you know, find like,
a worldly means to solve the issue, and it can be done, right.
Sometimes we just have to be creative. But with time and
experience we learn, right, and that's one of the blessings of
going through challenges. I mean, just in my life experience
handler, you know, since I can remember, I've always kind of been
in a position of having to deal with or somehow be involved in, in
problems, right, at a community level, I guess you could say, like
working within a community, helping people with different
problems. But I have found within my own life, that has been such a
blessing to be able to be involved in serving the community's needs,
because I learned a lot of lessons when I'm helping other people,
right, which is why service is a great way of protecting your heart
and protecting yourself when you're in the FISMA of other
people, and you're helping other people in one capacity or another.
A, you know, you're doing immense work, you know that that is
blessing work. But also you're learning lessons that will help
you when the time comes, right? Because you'll remember, like, Oh,
this is, you know, I remember a situation similar to this. And now
I'm dealing with it right. And I'll give you just a quick example
of that.
Of how, when you're helping other people with their problems, it can
come all of that help can come back to you, right. So many years
ago, this was just like I said, I always say and if you follow me on
online, you know, like I say, there's no coincidences, because
there aren't, there aren't any coincidences, or everything's a
love plans at all. So I had a situation where, when I was in my
previous marriage, and I've talked about this before, but you know,
my, my, I had a
well, let's backtrack here. So my relative of my exes, in my
previous marriage had come to visit, and she stayed with us for
a while. And she came because her situation was that her and her
husband were going through infertility. And so she stayed
with us, I think for like a summer like two or three months. And that
time was me, basically, you know, every day helping her get through
her struggle of accepting the fact that she may never be a mother.
And day after day, we would talk we would go out, we would go out
to eat, we would go shopping, you know, she's close. So we were
spending so much time together. But that was what I ended up
doing. I had no idea and of course, Allah is the best of
planners, that very soon after that, I would find myself in the
exact same situation of finding out that I, my now ex husband was
infertile and so we couldn't have children. I had no idea that
that was gonna happen. But I had two months or three months,
however long it was, of all the advice I was giving her. Right.
Everything I said to her was fresh in my mind. So when it came for me
to face the exact same test, I was like, wow, okay.
Thank you Alhamdulillah because it was like I was, you know,
counseling myself in a way through that all those months. And it did,
it helped me It helped me tremendously to be able to
remember all the things that I said to her. And so that's, that's
how sometimes it works, right, you're going through a difficulty,
you're dealing with problems, whether they're your own or other
people's, and you might not make those connections, that experience
of living through those things, or is going to help you at some point
or another, right? So just because you can't see that doesn't mean
that you're just being tortured for no reason, right? There is a
wisdom there is a, you know, something that that's happening,
that maybe it time will tell, but to surrender trust to Allah
subhanaw taala is what we're supposed to do, like I love you're
putting me through this, I know that there is wisdom, and I just,
I'm just gonna bear it with patience, and get through it. And
that doesn't mean you have to, again, shut down all options to
seek help and just suffer, be, you know, resourceful, try to find
help, do what you can rely on people who have strong faith, you
know, ask people for da very important to ask people for da,
you know, I think we've become very private in certain ways where
we don't ask for help. And we don't ask for a DA but that's to
our own detriment. So reach out and say I'm going through some
hardships, please make dua for me. And I've literally lived
experiences where I'm like, I know, just because I asked the
dwarf some saintly person, I don't know who was answered, because if
you keep like that as a habit, where when you meet people, please
make dua for me, you'll see that inshallah things start to get
easy, and you're like, wow, someone was likely remembering you
in their da and Allah says that, when we remember people in their
absence, it's dot mr. Jab, Right? So inshallah use that, you know,
do that and just bear it with patients. But but I really liked
that you mentioned that because, you know, having that perspective
that whatever it is, it's maybe a protection from something worse,
right. So I'm the Medical FAQ. Yes, I'm
sure. That's, first of all, just like you're welcome to thank you
for your comment and your question. So it's obviously a
very, I mean, we'd have to be here for a while for me to answer that.
But I what I will say is just a good opportunity to mention this,
is that in a couple of weeks time maybe isn't March 6. So March 6,
here at MCC, we are hosting a women's a womanhood program on all
of these topics. So you will get to hear from Dr. Haifa uns
doctrine, any word, Doctor, I'm gonna get a wish instead of Madame
Amir, a sister, Bella, cornioley and then myself. And we're going
to talk about all of these issues with respect to the role of woman
womanhood, what does that mean, right? And really understand these
things because it all really comes down to the framing. And a lot of
us have been taught to understand the role of women in very
fragmented way, sometimes, you know, cultural, you know, ideas
and notions get mixed in with Islam. And so it's not clear but
that's why we need to learn our deen and hamdullah we have all of
these female scholars that will be able to lay it all out. So I
really hope that all of you will attend and you'll let other women
and young girls especially mashallah we have some youth here.
So we need to give a shout out to them for being here and attending
but they are also welcome to attend Inshallah, and they should
if you have young girls or no any, please bring them because it's
really powerful. To learn your deen from other women. You know,
I'm just speaking from experience, but I feel we're in that time
where we need to just take advantage of the opportunities
that we have. And we have amazing scholars in our community that we
can learn from so come to that event. And you'll get all these
questions answered in sha Allah, Allah. But thank you for sharing
that. You know, and your and your comment as well. It's really
important that we share and that we're open. You know, I know these
classes can sometimes seem formal, because you're coming in, you're
hearing me read from a book, but I do. My goal with these articles is
to really bring our hearts together and to create a
sisterhood and we've had two years of COVID and I'm just done and I
know we're all done. So thank you for coming because Alhamdulillah
honestly, when we first started back in person, I was like, Man, I
don't know if we're gonna have like five people, two people,
three people, but we got to
or month after month, mashallah you guys show up and there are new
faces here and there, but always welcome. So it's important though
to hear real stories. That's why I'm kind of an open book. And I
welcome that. So anybody else want his story? Share or share anything
at all? Please miss Mila before we. We close out. Yeah, more just
have you? Yeah,
exactly. I mean, why did he get so? He's so beloved, even non
Muslims absolutely love him right, Habib, you know the the, I think
he's Russian and then also Mohamed Salah same right you have a lot of
these athletes who hamdulillah they have strong spiritual
grounding and they will they will always mention Allah subhanaw
taala, they'll, they'll really give credit where it's due. And
for us, all of us everything, that's the thing is, you can talk
about your talents and skills maybe in that way. But if you
really think every blessing, every blessing, and even the blessings
that we don't even think about a long time ago, again, something
that we don't think about sure Hamza was mentioning, you know,
something like eyelashes. And I always find that really
interesting, because that's what gratitude is, is that the the
exercise of gratitude is that you get to that micro level of like
thinking, right, it's like, you can see the big blessings, right?
house, car, job, all of those things kind of are prominent, and
we understand those. But even the small blessings we don't account
for, like eyelashes are a huge blessing or the hairs in our nose,
like Subhanallah do do we think about what a blessing it is that
we have normal functions in that in those regard, right? In that
regard, or I mentioned this to the other day on on clubhouse when I
was teaching but you know, there are people who are incredible
people like they're just there's total signs of God this man I
found his video I think it was a tick tock are real are one of
those videos. But he had. He's from Australia. And he had this
horrible reaction to cortisol creams for treatment of eczema. He
had eczema since childhood so full like inflammation, inflammation in
his entire body head to toe. I've never seen anything like that in
my life before, where he had patches of skin and peeling skin
red bleeding. Pus, it was just Subhanallah very hard to see
someone in that state. But every video
Hey, everyone, like totally smiling. And he's like, how does a
person like that exist? Right? Because that's tormenting pain, he
cannot move, he has to wear certain bands around his hands
because his hands get very cracked. And he's home. He can't
go outside because the sun will exacerbate his symptoms. But he
manages to find the gratitude. In every video you find him smiling
and so grateful. He's like, you know, because he's doing a
treatment. He's trying to relieve himself have the dependency of
these creams because they he said I just couldn't do it anymore. I
can't I can't live with the dependency on these creams, I need
to find a way to overcome this. Right. So he found I think it's a
Chinese practitioner, medicine practitioner who's helping him but
he's, he's just so happy to report the smallest like, look, this
patch is getting better if you just want to cry like that a
person like that exists, who can find the so much to be grateful
for over the small patch of skin, when his the rest 99% of his body
is
in the I mean, if I showed you a video, you really would understand
how
amazing it is to witness people like that. But that's the kind of
process that we all need us to take, you know, into consideration
all the things that Allah has made very easy for us our mobility, to
be able to move about our sight our faculties, right, our taste
buds are hearing or seeing our sense of smell, you know? COVID
How many people do you know who lost their sense of taste and
smell? They are miserable. I saw many people crying like it's
really difficult to go on with life when you're when everything
tastes metallic, or like bitter. So if you didn't have that
experience, you wouldn't know to be grateful for that. But once you
see that, aren't you like I'm right. So what if we were in the
process of a hamdulillah all the time, right and hamdulillah when
you see your you know your your thumbs and you have the ability to
move. I mean just there's so much that if we really took time that's
how we increase right our gratitude to Allah subhanaw taala
and that we are always giving him the credit because
So, this is why we say Alhamdulillah. Right? All praise
is to Allah subhanaw taala for all my blessings, right?
Yes.
Yes. And then how do you what's your advice?
To
people who are or valuating spouse or something like that? Sure. Very
good. We certainly can, you know, be because you want to look at,
again, your heart as the most important thing that you need to
protect, right. So if your focus of creating boundaries, in terms
of the company that you keep, or even with a selection of a spouse
is not about them, but about you, then you're not gonna be self
righteous and arrogant, right? Because it's not like, Oh, they're
not good at, you know, they're not good enough, and you're just
judging them for whatever deficiencies they have, you're
going to look at it more like, I need to really, I need support, I
need people who can help me I need a spouse who can keep me in check,
right? I need, I need friends who can help me because I'm weak to
myself. So that lens that shifted focus from judging other people
for what they lack, because you don't know their struggles, and
you honestly don't know their state with God, because someone
could, right? Externally look a certain way, but they could be
very close to Allah, but it's just a matter of, I am in need of
someone to help me anchor me. And if I find that there's an
incompatibility here, that I need, you know, to maybe look elsewhere,
and that way, you're not judging them for anything, but you're
rather prioritizing, preserving your heart. Does that make sense?
Yeah. And just to keep humble, because, you know, again, we don't
know people's end, someone could look,
you know, a certain way. And if you get that negative thought
about them, you got to check yourself, like, I don't know who
they are with God, I have no idea. But I know what I need. Right? I
need someone who prays five times a day, because I'm weak, I can't
pray five times a day, right? So if someone's, you know, presenting
with these, you know, issues and they're humble enough or honest
enough to admit them to you, then it's okay for you to say, I wish
it was different. We were under different circumstances, but I
don't think this is going to work. Right in a marital situation or in
friends, if you have friends who are not spiritually driven, and
they don't have, you know, those that's just not those aren't their
interests, then you don't need to condemn them and kind of act like
oh, well, you're not good enough for me, but rather, like, I have
to work on myself and I really need supportive friends, I need
people to help me build me up. And right now, that's where I'm at.
And then always keep the door open. Because by you, you know,
keeping that relationship open and the door open. Maybe as you start,
you know, gravitating more towards all those positive strengthening,
they'll want to come to your side, you know, and so we don't ever
closed doors on people like that, like, Oh, I just can't be your
friend. It's just more about where you're at the time that you spend.
So if those friends want to hang out with you weekly, but you're
like, I don't think you know it's good for me. Then you just slowly
excuse yourself from those things being gentle, but checking on them
How are you if you have a good reminder here I you know, I was
thinking of you those are beautiful acts you know, to keep
the hearts connected, and to prevent you from thinking I'm done
with that group because they're not good enough right? So we
should never do that. We should never do that stuff a lot. Yeah,
but thank you so great question. Yes. Like I'm Santa
so I'm sorry I just want to make sure I'm clear on your question.
So
being humbled towards someone who does like who you find is maybe
dishonouring you
I'm Robert
Wright
but for them that
honors
Sure, so this it's a wonderful question. I would say it's a very
subjective question because every situation I think would have to be
you know, considered like there are Hadith for example, that say
yeah, we don't need the the believer should never put
themselves in a situation where they are
or Dishonored or you know, mistreated, and we should be able
to defend ourselves against those who approached us, you know, in a
sort of antagonistic or whatever way we were not, we don't, we
don't need to subject ourselves to that kind of energy. Right. So
having boundaries is perfectly fine. But then there's other
Hadith that say that the one who mixes with those who are difficult
and even maybe abusive, and that word, you know, it's a
translation. So let's, that isn't, I don't want people to assume
anything out of that, but more like, you know, harsh, critical,
right? That it's better for them, you know, to, to mix with them
than to not even have any relation with them at all. Because, again,
these are things these are ways that we draw near to Allah spider
by by preserving like family, for example, by not, you know, causing
rifts by not being overly, you know, divisive in terms of like,
forcing people to pick sides, you know, sometimes things can get out
of hand, but just saying, you know, what, it's okay. Sometimes,
for example, you know, our elders, they may speak very frankly, and
harshly and critically, but is it worth it to, you know, go up and
tell them off all the pit? Of course not, you know, but some
people may think, well, I need to create a boundary. So you kind of
have to weigh I think, every situation based on the actual
relationship, what's at stake, and the person individual also has to
think about, you know, their, what is the motivation behind what
they're doing? Are they trying to correct and maybe, you know,
prevent this person from because, you know, the ladder or the rod,
right, don't harm and don't reciprocate harm? Are they trying
to teach this person to stop? Because they're harmful? And the
intention is for their benefit as well? Or is it enough see
reaction? Like, I think I'm so much like, I think I'm something
and this person, who are they to talk to me that way, and I need to
put them in their place, that sort of internal dialogue has to happen
in order for the person to really know what the motivation is,
right? Because if you're honest with yourself, and you're like,
you know, what, I don't want them I need to, you know, maybe create
that boundary because they're harming other people. And they're,
you know, they just, you know, they I need to help them like,
right, so they stop harming and Inshallah, you know, we can
maintain the family bond and I'll do it with decorum and you know, a
debit all that the intention is pure, right? But if it's just
like, Nope, I'm gonna go in and tell them off and then get my just
desserts and walk away feeling value and you know, like, as if
you did something great, then clearly the intention is self
serving, right? It's not for mutual benefit or software greater
benefit. So I think it's a very, very deep, you know, subjective
process that the person would have to go through but I hope that was
clear. Um, good luck. Thank you.
Mashallah, any other questions? Ladies, we have reached the hour
so I don't want to keep you longer but I also want to make sure that
everybody
gets their questions answered.
All right, does that go off and will end in the US or for next
time? We'll pick up this we're still on the introduction. As you
can see, this text is very much shallow there's so much to say so
it will take us some time but Nia is to eventually finish it, so
please get it if you don't have it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna keep going inshallah until you guys you know,
even if one of you shows up, I'll be here.
Alright, this Mala Rahman r Rahim, Allah Asad in Al Insana, Olivia.
hawser Illallah dynamin environmental Swanee Hattie with
the rest so Bill happy with the rest of the sub Subhanak Aloha
mobile home decrescendo en la ilaha illa into the stock
beautiful wanna to booty Lake Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik
ala say that I want Maulana wa Habib and Mohamed Salah la
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, whether it was Sofia salam to slim
interferer Subhana Arabic urbanicity and IUC Fong wa salam
ala l Mursaleen. Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Al hamdu ledgers
Aqua Lachlan and everyone in sha Allah have a wonderful evening.
Keep safe. It's the night of Jama do your silhouette and shot law
and remember us in your door.
Thank you so much.