Hosai Mojaddidi – Parents Don’t Lose Hope On Your Teen

			I just wanted to make a point,
though, about the family that does
		

			feel like oh, is it too late for
my family make because sometimes,
		

			you know, parents may or may not
have been doing a lot of these
		

			things in the beginning with their
children, but at some point, you
		

			know, reality hits and they
realize I have to catch up on my
		

			parenting is all hope lost. No.
		

			And if you find yourself in a
situation where you haven't been
		

			really teaching your children,
Dean and, and a lot of these
		

			things are kind of now coming to
the surface and you want to
		

			reestablish your relationship with
your children. I think having
		

			really open honest communication
is the key.
		

			As, as we've talked about
throughout the panel, speaking
		

			from your own perspective, and
vulnerability, and actually
		

			admitting your own shortcomings
and your own failings is a
		

			wonderful, amazing way for you to
connect with your teams. And I can
		

			say that as someone who works a
lot with teens, and one of the
		

			issues that is very common in our
communities, and in our in our
		

			community, in many of our
cultures, is this idea that
		

			parents never show weakness to
their children. And they are
		

			always, they don't even apologize
in some cases. And I've spoken
		

			with parents and teens, where the
teen will tell me in what the
		

			parents standing there, that my
parents never apologize for
		

			anything, even when they make
mistakes. And this is a really big
		

			problem in our community, we have
to get over this sort of ego to
		

			stick very self centered type of
parenting, we are all in the same
		

			boat, our children are really, I
think, I mean, Allah knows, but in
		

			throughout history, I feel like
the issues that they deal with are
		

			unprecedented, we really got the
easy, you know, path, I'm so
		

			grateful that I'm not a teen, I
really am, I swear when I when I
		

			hear what they go through, and I
see what they're up against. I'm
		

			like, Y'all, thank you for saving
me from the insanity that our poor
		

			children have inherited. So we
have to be more empathic, more
		

			sympathetic to what they're going
through. And the only way that we
		

			can receive or that we can, you
know, have more open communication
		

			is for us to kind of, you know, be
Be humble a little bit, bring
		

			ourselves down, admit that, you
know, what, I didn't do my
		

			priorities, or maybe off the first
567 10 years, 15 years of your
		

			life, I'm sorry, I was career
oriented, I had this going on that
		

			going on, and maybe I didn't give
you the attention that you
		

			deserve. Maybe I wasn't interested
in what you were doing. I'm so
		

			sorry. If I felt if I because of
my distractions or my other, you
		

			know, lack of maybe focus, I
didn't make you feel important
		

			enough, but I want to redo that,
can I reset that please let you
		

			know and start from that place of
owning what you didn't do that
		

			should have been done as a parent
and then asking for a read a
		

			renewal of your relationship, I
feel like children would probably
		

			really much more respect you and
actually really see you in a
		

			different light. If we were to do
that more as parents as opposed to
		

			letting the distance continue. And
and you know, just the
		

			relationship, because a lot of
parents feel like well, there's
		

			nothing I can do. The doors are
slamming in my face. You know,
		

			I've lost my child, and it's my
fault and they kind of think hope
		

			you know, there's no hope. No,
that's from shaitan it's whisper
		

			so there's always hope with Allah.
We are not a religion of despair
		

			where religion of hope and it
sometimes it does come down to
		

			something so basic as you
apologizing and saying, I am
		

			sorry, I'm not perfect. I'm human.
I failed, but I love you enough to
		

			want to have a redo. Please join
me in this and just from there
		

			inshallah.