Hosai Mojaddidi – Parents Don’t Lose Hope On Your Teen

I just wanted to make a point, though, about the family that does

feel like oh, is it too late for my family make because sometimes,

you know, parents may or may not have been doing a lot of these

things in the beginning with their children, but at some point, you

know, reality hits and they realize I have to catch up on my

parenting is all hope lost. No.

And if you find yourself in a situation where you haven't been

really teaching your children, Dean and, and a lot of these

things are kind of now coming to the surface and you want to

reestablish your relationship with your children. I think having

really open honest communication is the key.

As, as we've talked about throughout the panel, speaking

from your own perspective, and vulnerability, and actually

admitting your own shortcomings and your own failings is a

wonderful, amazing way for you to connect with your teams. And I can

say that as someone who works a lot with teens, and one of the

issues that is very common in our communities, and in our in our

community, in many of our cultures, is this idea that

parents never show weakness to their children. And they are

always, they don't even apologize in some cases. And I've spoken

with parents and teens, where the teen will tell me in what the

parents standing there, that my parents never apologize for

anything, even when they make mistakes. And this is a really big

problem in our community, we have to get over this sort of ego to

stick very self centered type of parenting, we are all in the same

boat, our children are really, I think, I mean, Allah knows, but in

throughout history, I feel like the issues that they deal with are

unprecedented, we really got the easy, you know, path, I'm so

grateful that I'm not a teen, I really am, I swear when I when I

hear what they go through, and I see what they're up against. I'm

like, Y'all, thank you for saving me from the insanity that our poor

children have inherited. So we have to be more empathic, more

sympathetic to what they're going through. And the only way that we

can receive or that we can, you know, have more open communication

is for us to kind of, you know, be Be humble a little bit, bring

ourselves down, admit that, you know, what, I didn't do my

priorities, or maybe off the first 567 10 years, 15 years of your

life, I'm sorry, I was career oriented, I had this going on that

going on, and maybe I didn't give you the attention that you

deserve. Maybe I wasn't interested in what you were doing. I'm so

sorry. If I felt if I because of my distractions or my other, you

know, lack of maybe focus, I didn't make you feel important

enough, but I want to redo that, can I reset that please let you

know and start from that place of owning what you didn't do that

should have been done as a parent and then asking for a read a

renewal of your relationship, I feel like children would probably

really much more respect you and actually really see you in a

different light. If we were to do that more as parents as opposed to

letting the distance continue. And and you know, just the

relationship, because a lot of parents feel like well, there's

nothing I can do. The doors are slamming in my face. You know,

I've lost my child, and it's my fault and they kind of think hope

you know, there's no hope. No, that's from shaitan it's whisper

so there's always hope with Allah. We are not a religion of despair

where religion of hope and it sometimes it does come down to

something so basic as you apologizing and saying, I am

sorry, I'm not perfect. I'm human. I failed, but I love you enough to

want to have a redo. Please join me in this and just from there

inshallah.