Hosai Mojaddidi – Lesson Summer of Smiles

Hosai Mojaddidi
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of smile for the well-being of human beings, especially children. They touch on the concept of mirror neurons and how they can mimic each other's behavior through mirror neurons. The speakers emphasize the importance of learning to apply the concept of mindfulness to daily life, not just rewarding them for their actions. They also discuss the importance of not insulting people with what they know about them, and to rise above the best way to proceed. They stress the need to show one's love and weaknesses to others, especially when it comes to their religious affiliation and to share experiences to bring people to a state of wonder and joy.
AI: Transcript ©
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They're Jose es Salaam aleikum.

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Wa Rahmatullah here but a cat you know how are you?

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I'm the lights so great to see you.

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Smile. I just had the exact same device and wow, it's already I

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can't believe we're in mid Shaohua so it's been over for sure a month

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but almost miles, two months. Time is running, but it's lovely.

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Lovely to see you anytime, anytime.

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I'm so excited to be learning from you and I wasn't lying. We're

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getting on that notebook and starting and

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I'm

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just like your friend from the LA Bismillah Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa

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Salatu was Salam ala Chapelle MBI even more saline. Say that our

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Mowlana What have you been hammered? Some Allahu Allah. He

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was salam. While he was happy Absalom the Sleeman Kathira

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Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Dear brothers and

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sisters Alhamdulillah it is again an honor to be with all of you.

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And hamdulillah and you know, on especially on this beautiful day,

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I'm Gemma. As I mentioned, we are just a little bit past the halfway

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point of shot was upon a loss. So there's just a lot of reason for

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us to to be joyful on this occasion, even though yes, our OMA

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is hurting and there's certainly cause for a lot of pain in the

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heart, we should still be grateful. And that's partly what

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we're going to inshallah reflect on today is the Sunnah of smiling,

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you know, this, this beautiful sunnah, that we have to maintain

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as much as possible, even during our painful moments, or during

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these periods of life, whether it's on a personal level, or, you

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know, for the collective when we're, we're in pain, we still

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have to find those moments to just really be in deep states of

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gratitude for the blessing. So and Hamdulillah I think it's a

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reflection we all need. And, you know, it's interesting, I

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mentioned this often, but I don't believe in coincidences, because

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there are no such things, you know, everything is interconnected

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some way or another. And of course, there's divine decree, but

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I find it whenever I see interesting patterns, or

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serendipitous sort of things happening, aligning, I like to

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point them out. And I, you know, I didn't quite know what the topic

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was going to be today. Until not that long ago, and so on have the

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deadline, which is fine. That is the nature of these martial law

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events sometimes. So I was waiting for, you know, the assignment. And

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though, you know, the organizers had no idea that all week long, I

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have been actually speaking about this sunnah of smiling and, more

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specifically, actually, something related to how we as human beings

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even learn how to smile, you know, which is if you just look at young

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children, you know, newborn infants, for those of us who have

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children of Hamdulillah, in some cases, they may enter the world,

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you know, within that state, interesting. I have, I have one

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son, my youngest is named smile. And when he was born, it was kind

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of like, a festive

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time, I guess, or in the hospital anyway, not not, not in, you know,

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in the general, you know, for the general

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society or community. But in the hospital where we were, it was

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kind of festive, because Subhanallah, the, the birthday,

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that, you know, the the day of birth was something to be

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celebrated. I guess they had news crews there. It was kind of, you

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know, the floor that we were on, all the mothers were being

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interviewed, because it was one of those birthdays. And so the nurse

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that was, you know, that was taking care of me and helping him.

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She kept calling him smile, but she didn't get that his name was a

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smile yield. She just was like, Oh, I have your baby, smile,

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smile, and I end and so and she had actually told me that I had to

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have an emergency procedure. But she had told me that when, you

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know, he was brought into the world that he was smiling. And I

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was like, Oh, wow, usually, you know, they're crying and it's

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chaotic scene, but he was smiling. So I think it just stuck in her

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mind that his name was smiles every time she would bring him to

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me. She'd be like, Oh, it's so you know, it's kind of like in a

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celebratory state like oh, and his and his name is even smile how

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great like if I didn't feel the have the heart to correct her. So

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I just let her think that his name was smile. But you know, some

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children come into the world somehow a lot in that state where

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you can see like a crack of a smile. And that's just a beautiful

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thing to experience when you see a newborn infant, you know, and as I

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said, in other cases, they're not that happy to enter the world. We

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Because Subhanallah, they've just come from their mother's womb

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where they were warm and safe, and everything was fine. And, and you

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know, from reading a mama had dad's book, you know, in the lives

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of men, we learned that this, this is the hardest place for the soul

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to be. And, you know, you go from the primordial realm to the warmth

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of the mother to dunya. Dunya is, you know, that if Tila and that's

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why they say that the baby enters the world crying, and everybody

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else is joyful. That's usually how it goes. So but most, you know,

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children come into this world, you know, in that panic state and that

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state of anxiety, but when you do see a newborn, develop the ability

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to smile over a little bit of time, they say researchers say

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it's usually because they are mimicking, right, we learn to

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mimic the, the facial expressions of the people that are taking care

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of us, our parents, or grandparents or siblings, whoever,

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you know, those initial people are that are around us. So we start to

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as our eyesight develops, and we can focus better, we start to

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mimic. So it's an it's an act of mimicry, you know, to smile. And

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so, you know, interestingly, you know, now we have research that

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shows that, that this is actually something that we do, in many

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ways, you know, this idea of what we call mirror neurons, right?

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That we will, as you know, when we're interacting with one

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another, we will learn to mirror as a almost as a sign of like, or

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a reflection of empathy, right, the expressions and the cues, the

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nonverbal cues that we are receiving from our interlocutors

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the people that we're speaking with or engaging with. And so,

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I've been speaking on this topic, because there's research now that

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shows that the youth this generation, especially post,

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internet, post social media that have been raised on devices have a

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harder time with this is, you know, this concept of, you know,

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mimicry, or mirror neurons or facial expressions even. And it's

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because from this time, they're very young, in many cases, not

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obviously, in all cases, but in many cases, they have been

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introduced to these devices, and a lot of their interactions are, you

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know, through through these in these virtual ways, right, whether

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it's playing, you know, playing on devices, or interacting with even

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family members, you know, on because sometimes, if you if you

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think about, you know, little children, speaking to

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grandparents, or family members that are distant from them, now,

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we have a convenience of, you know, FaceTime, and all of these

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platforms that we can just pick up a device and talk, sometimes have

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lengthy conversations, you know, with our loved ones, and young

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children do that, certainly, as well, through this medium. And so

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what that has done, unfortunately, one of the consequences is that it

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has impaired in a way, the ability of children who've really been

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exposed to this to maybe a large degree, or the ability to, to

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mirror as well as in previous generations. And so teachers, for

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example, and this was kind of how the conversation that I've been

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having with a few different, you know, teachers and people who work

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with, with students a lot, we've all observed a generational shift,

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you know, that, that there, there's a tendency for younger

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people to not be able to animate or to express in their, you know,

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facial features, or their, you know, their expressions or facial

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expressions. They're not able to, to, to, to reveal or, or in any

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way show their emotion. So, it's hard, right, especially as a

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teacher or a public speaker, if you're speaking to an audience

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that does not, you know, give you feedback, because it is a form of

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feedback. In fact, I think it's 80% of our communication is

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nonverbal. So if you're sitting in front of people who don't have

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that ability to nod to smile when you're smiling, to receive what

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you're saying, in a way that's affirming, it can make it

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challenging because you're not quite sure is the message landing

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and you know, as a, as a teacher, we really look for that like with

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with our students, through facial expressions through those

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nonverbal cues. We can it indicates to us whether or not

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we're on target, you know, for our lesson or you know, whatever we're

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trying to relay so it becomes challenging. These are part of the

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modern challenges that we have, but it brought me to this topic of

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smiling and what an important sunnah it is in our tradition as

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we

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No, this is a sunnah of the prophesy Saddam, he told us quite

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literally to smile and to spread peace and to make sure that we are

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that we recognize that when we're doing that it is considered an act

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of charity. And I love that, that he tied that there because it also

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indicates that you don't necessarily have to be in a state

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of happiness, quote, unquote, or joy or anything like that in order

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to smile, right? Because to make it a sadhaka, is not about you,

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it's about other people, right? When you give wealth or you give

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your donate time, or you do anything for set up, you're

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putting the other person before yourself. And so the fact that he

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put that little caveat that it or that you know, that smiling has

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that reward, I think is beautiful, because it's a reminder to us that

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it's just something we should do in order to maintain healthy, you

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know, societies, healthy families, healthy communities, that we

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should be people that are willing to step outside of our own selves

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for the sake of the other. And that if that means, you know,

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doing something that goes against maybe what's happening internally,

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because I know, you know, many of us, we're carrying burdens, there

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are people who have real pain that they're they're walking around

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with real, whether it's physical pain, emotional pain, they are,

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they're really feeling things on a very deep level. And, you know,

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like, just imagine I have I have siblings who work in the medical

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field, I have a I have a sibling who does trauma, you know, trauma

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surgeries, he's, he's a surgeon, and some of the sometimes we don't

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hear from him for days on end, because he's working around the

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clock and hospital after hospital doing multiple, you know, long

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shifts. And then some of the cases that he deals with are really

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traumatic cases, you know, gunshot wounds, violence, children being

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shot at killed, it's horrific, and I just, when I see him, you know,

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in family gatherings, I can tell when there's something you know,

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like, burdening his soul, because, you know, you if you're around

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people enough, and you're paying attention, you'll be able to tell

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when a person is their mind is somewhere else, you know, but

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they're trying to be with you. And so they'll force that smile. And

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it's a beautiful act, when you see people who are in these spaces or

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who do carry a lot when they're when they're able to do that, but

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it's a prophetic quality because the prophesy, so no one, no one

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can even compare to the burden that he carried. I mean,

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subhanAllah, what do you think about the fact that he saw true

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visions, right, during the Sol, a mirage, and obviously in other

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dreams and other incidents? The province was Saddam was given a

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news that I don't know, I'm certain majority of us, we could

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not bear to see even a fraction of what he saw. And that's why he

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said that if you knew what I knew, you would laugh little and weep

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much, because he saw, you know, the condition of his own mug, you

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know, in the future. Really, things that I like I said, it

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would be so difficult for any one of us to bear. And yet, and yet it

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is a verifiable, it's undeniable that one of the hallmark qualities

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of the prophesy Saddam was that he smiled often and that he brought

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people into a state of peace and enjoy just by his countenance,

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just by what he was able to give them in those exchanges, those

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nonverbal exchanges, you know, because we know he did speak, he

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was not a person who's who spoke excessively, he was an everything

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he did, he was moderate, and he was perfect, and it was beautiful.

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So it was his presence, but in in the first impression, you know,

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with everybody that met him, it was his warmth, that is what

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captivated them. So he had the ability to set aside the pain and

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the, you know, the images that he that he saw, you know, people

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being tortured, like, like real images, subhanAllah of members of

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his own OMA being tortured, and he had to carry that knowledge he

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knew the other thing that I think about which is incredible, is he

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knew who the Manasa painter, you know, in his time, and it's like

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wow, to have that knowledge is also a burden knowledge, you know,

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to know, you know, people who are who are corrupt and who have this

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duplicity and not be able to tell others you know, it's so he had to

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carry knowledge

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She was a burden and yet he still found time to be so beautiful. And

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so in His disposition and His demeanor in the way that he

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interacted with people. And so obviously he's he's our exemplar.

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And when we look to Him, we should remember that about him that even

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though we're troubled, and we have burdens and problems, and a lot of

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us are trying to, we're barely keeping our head above water, as

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they say, when we do it as an act of worship, when we set aside our

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pain for the for the comfort and well being of other people, we

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are, we are not only being rewarded by us path, but we are

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actually in line with the example of the prophesy Southern, and we

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don't really know the weight of our actions, you know, the weight

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of our actions is something that we should consider because a smile

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is something easy to do, you know, it's just, you know, it's muscles,

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it's moving your face, and in a way to express something. And it

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doesn't take much. It's something that you know, it's automatic

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process in some cases, but it's very simple to do. And yet, and I

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don't say this, with any exaggeration, a smile can actually

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save a life. And a perfect example of this is the story of Kevin

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Hines, which if you're not familiar with, you should

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absolutely look it up. Because every time I think about the power

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of smiling or just the power of human connection, really, which is

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what it's about, it's about connecting yourself to the other.

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The power of that is reflected in this single story. And there's

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many I'm sure other examples that could we could borrow from but

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Kevin Hines always stays with me. And I remember we were again,

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first introduced to him by Sheikh Hamza many years ago, his story,

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and I just was blown away, and I looked him up right away. And

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anyway, you can, you can find more about him. But he basically was

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someone who was, you know, carrying a lot on his heart. And

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he decided one day, he was here from, he's from San Francisco Bay

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area, or he was from here. But he basically decided one day, that he

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had had enough. And he kind of made a bargain or a deal with

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himself that he was going to take a bus and this was like, I

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believe, if I'm not mistaken, like a multi city travel, like he had

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to go from multi different cities in order to get to his

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destination, which was the Golden Gate Bridge. And if you're not

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familiar, the Golden Gate Bridge has unfortunately, another name.

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Because it was it's a it's a bridge that was known for people,

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you know, jumping, or taking their lives. So it has that reputation.

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So he basically made this deal with himself that he was going to

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take the bus and get to the Golden Gate Bridge. And the deal was that

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if anybody along the way, was asked him how he was smiled, you

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just basically acknowledged his existence, and tried to have that,

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that human interaction with him, but he would not act on his

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intention. But because it goes Subhan Allah, he spent, you know,

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this ride, however long it took, getting from his, you know, place

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of residence to his destination without a single person

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acknowledging him. And so he made the decision, he went to the

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Golden Gate, and he actually jumped. Now the story Subhanallah

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takes a really incredible turn, he sets and you know, he obviously

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live to tell his story, that the moment he jumped in, and he made a

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mistake. And he actually called on a lot and said that if Allah were

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to save him, that from what he had done, that he would spend the rest

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of his life helping people. And the survival rate of that fall, by

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the way is very low. It's a very high drop off, but also, the

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Whitewater is very harsh, there's jagged rocks, it's just it's not a

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survivable jump. And that's why all the below most people succeed.

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But this man Subhan Allah against all odds, and of course, Allah is

00:19:02 --> 00:19:07

is the best of planners. So he's the one who decrees these things,

00:19:07 --> 00:19:12

but this man, he jumps he makes the sincere dua, Allah answers his

00:19:12 --> 00:19:18

door, he falls into the water and shatters like his spine. So he is

00:19:19 --> 00:19:25

he cannot, he survived. He didn't die on impact. But he can't get

00:19:25 --> 00:19:30

up. He can't swim to safety or try to keep himself up despite his

00:19:30 --> 00:19:34

attempts, because he's pretty much immobilized at that point. And so

00:19:34 --> 00:19:38

Allah subhanaw taala sends a sea lion

00:19:39 --> 00:19:42

because, you know, the the bay, San Francisco Bay Area has sea

00:19:42 --> 00:19:48

lions, he sends a sea lion to this man, and that sea lion helps him

00:19:48 --> 00:19:53

to safety Subhan Allah and he actually carries him to the shore

00:19:53 --> 00:19:57

and then the people eventually because they saw him jump, they

00:19:57 --> 00:19:59

were able to send rescue so he lives to tell this

00:20:00 --> 00:20:04

story. And now he's a well known public speaker, and he goes around

00:20:04 --> 00:20:07

to doing suicide prevention. But I always found his story to be very

00:20:07 --> 00:20:13

compelling, because it just shows you that had we, as you know, a

00:20:13 --> 00:20:18

species, really, you know, How had we been practicing this? Or how do

00:20:18 --> 00:20:20

we take in this, this

00:20:21 --> 00:20:24

advice of our prophesies, so that and, you know, speaking of the

00:20:24 --> 00:20:29

general, you know, of, of the prophecies, and not just the

00:20:29 --> 00:20:32

Muslims, but like, as a species had, we been, in practice of the

00:20:32 --> 00:20:37

importance of really acknowledging people and connecting and being

00:20:37 --> 00:20:41

willing to set aside whatever's going on and, and just see one

00:20:41 --> 00:20:46

another, you know, and we were doing that on a large scale, and

00:20:46 --> 00:20:49

we would have, obviously, healthier societies, where maybe

00:20:49 --> 00:20:52

we wouldn't have people in these mental health crises all over

00:20:52 --> 00:20:56

Ireland, but the fact that that was something that he needed and

00:20:56 --> 00:21:00

yearned for, and actually, you know, made it as a condition of

00:21:00 --> 00:21:03

whether or not he would take his own life, indicates that we just,

00:21:03 --> 00:21:06

we weren't, that we haven't been for a really long time, we, we

00:21:06 --> 00:21:11

pass each other by all the time as human beings, we, we were so busy,

00:21:11 --> 00:21:14

we're so caught up in our own problems and our own, you know,

00:21:14 --> 00:21:19

goals and objectives that we have, that we end up just just, you

00:21:19 --> 00:21:26

know, ignoring, and completely denying the the fact that a lot

00:21:26 --> 00:21:30

puts people in our path for a reason. And that's something that

00:21:30 --> 00:21:34

if you were mindful, right, every moment was was something that you

00:21:34 --> 00:21:38

were really present in, you would not, you know, look, look at

00:21:38 --> 00:21:42

anybody that crosses your path as being insignificant, but rather,

00:21:42 --> 00:21:45

maybe even question like, subhanAllah of all the people, you

00:21:45 --> 00:21:49

know, that I'm, you know, on this, like, for example, even something

00:21:49 --> 00:21:55

as simple as, you know, an elevator, or like, you know, you

00:21:55 --> 00:21:59

go into a when we're, when I'm on a plane, I always try to take

00:21:59 --> 00:22:04

inventory of the people on the plane, because it's like, this is

00:22:04 --> 00:22:07

not some random, you know, accident, there's maybe some

00:22:07 --> 00:22:12

wisdom and why all of us have to be on this trip together, right?

00:22:12 --> 00:22:16

We do things sometimes without that, that even presents that what

00:22:16 --> 00:22:19

is the wisdom? Why why now, or just the different people that

00:22:19 --> 00:22:22

come into our come in and out of our lives? or teachers or co

00:22:22 --> 00:22:28

workers or neighbors? Right, like just thinking about why are these

00:22:28 --> 00:22:31

people in my in my life? You know, why? Why are these the people that

00:22:31 --> 00:22:35

ospite chose to surround me with or to put me in this particular

00:22:35 --> 00:22:38

situation with, we don't do that enough. And then, you know, we

00:22:38 --> 00:22:42

tend to, like I said, just move, move about in this way, where

00:22:42 --> 00:22:48

we're in just oblivious, we're, we're oblivious to people around

00:22:48 --> 00:22:52

us. But here is this man who his story, I think, just highlights

00:22:52 --> 00:22:56

that it all he was looking for was one connection, and that would

00:22:56 --> 00:22:59

have helped him but you know, Allah has another purpose for him.

00:22:59 --> 00:23:04

But I think the greater lesson is, what, how do we take the sunnah

00:23:04 --> 00:23:09

to, you know, in its practical application, how do we apply it?

00:23:09 --> 00:23:12

Is it something that we reserve only for our loved ones, right?

00:23:12 --> 00:23:15

Because there's some people who are very affectionate or are

00:23:15 --> 00:23:18

willing to show their love and demonstrate their love for their

00:23:18 --> 00:23:22

family and their people that they know but then with other people,

00:23:22 --> 00:23:26

you know, we're, we're, we're just not willing to do that. And that's

00:23:26 --> 00:23:30

another question to ask because the Balsom said, very clearly in

00:23:30 --> 00:23:33

the Hadith to say salaam to those you know, and those you don't

00:23:33 --> 00:23:40

know, so he's actually instructing us to give our you know our dua

00:23:40 --> 00:23:44

because the Salam is a DUA and hopefully we're giving that dua

00:23:44 --> 00:23:47

with with the right countenance, you know, you don't want to be

00:23:47 --> 00:23:51

giving the ayah to someone with a stone face, you know, so when you

00:23:51 --> 00:23:55

say salaam to someone, you hopefully are also smiling. And

00:23:55 --> 00:23:58

when you do that, and he's telling you to do that, not just with

00:23:58 --> 00:24:01

those, you know, but also with those you don't know, he is

00:24:02 --> 00:24:07

telling us to be magnanimous, to be outside of ourselves, to be

00:24:07 --> 00:24:11

generous in our gifts and all that has given us and a smile is

00:24:11 --> 00:24:15

certainly one of those gifts. And so, you know, there's something to

00:24:15 --> 00:24:20

think about, you know, is it only reserved for those that that I you

00:24:20 --> 00:24:23

know, I want to be close to and that I trust, and then I just kind

00:24:23 --> 00:24:25

of you know, because I've heard this and I'm sure we've all heard

00:24:25 --> 00:24:29

it from people that there there are some people that's their

00:24:29 --> 00:24:34

experience, they just they don't they walk past other Muslims and

00:24:34 --> 00:24:38

they won't even get a Salam they won't even get a glance they don't

00:24:38 --> 00:24:41

get anything no acknowledgement whatsoever. So we've really veered

00:24:41 --> 00:24:42

away from the Sunnah.

00:24:44 --> 00:24:47

And that's why I think when you when you study, you know, things

00:24:47 --> 00:24:52

like mindfulness, which which I mentioned, it's it's so important

00:24:52 --> 00:24:55

because it brings you back into the awareness of every moment what

00:24:55 --> 00:24:57

you're doing, what's your intention, what's your purpose,

00:24:57 --> 00:24:59

why are you doing it and the

00:25:00 --> 00:25:03

Wisdom, you know of why we follow our beloved subtle body and

00:25:03 --> 00:25:07

southern because he obviously is directing us to those actions that

00:25:07 --> 00:25:12

he knows are going to benefit us. And you know, just as a single

00:25:12 --> 00:25:17

word Could, could potentially land someone, either in the fire or in

00:25:17 --> 00:25:21

paradise, right according to the Hadith, so could a single action

00:25:21 --> 00:25:25

and there are plenty of Hadith that show that kindness, you know,

00:25:25 --> 00:25:30

selflessness, generosity, single deeds are the keys with which

00:25:30 --> 00:25:35

people enter Jannah. And so maybe a single smile that we offer to

00:25:35 --> 00:25:40

someone who is in pain who is in need of that smile, whether we

00:25:40 --> 00:25:45

know it or not, is enough for us to be admitted into paradise. So

00:25:45 --> 00:25:48

this goes back to another beautiful Hadith where the prophet

00:25:48 --> 00:25:54

said and quite literally, is telling us not to undermine good

00:25:54 --> 00:25:59

deeds, and he says SallAllahu Sallam and this is a sahih Hadith

00:25:59 --> 00:26:03

reported an event. Hey, Ben, he says the process and says do not

00:26:03 --> 00:26:08

be little any good deed. The first thing he mentioned is even pouring

00:26:08 --> 00:26:13

your water, like you're into another into your brother or

00:26:13 --> 00:26:17

sisters like water, right, like a jug or cistern or, or some, you

00:26:17 --> 00:26:20

know, some vessel. So that's the first thing he mentioned. Because

00:26:20 --> 00:26:24

sometimes, you know, we we think it's not a big deal right to to

00:26:24 --> 00:26:27

give someone a cup of water. We don't think it's just it's not a

00:26:27 --> 00:26:30

big deal. But if the province was mentioning it, it is a big deal

00:26:30 --> 00:26:34

because you're showing again, generosity and kindness. So that's

00:26:34 --> 00:26:38

the first thing he says then he says, speaking to your brother

00:26:38 --> 00:26:44

while smiling at him, like don't underestimate the power of just

00:26:44 --> 00:26:48

doing this right and there are some Subhanallah teachers who

00:26:48 --> 00:26:51

mashallah even, you know, platformed by celebrate mercy,

00:26:51 --> 00:26:54

I've always admired actually many of the teachers mashallah

00:26:54 --> 00:26:59

Batticaloa, they have this almost like a permanent smile with which

00:26:59 --> 00:27:03

they speak and it's really beautiful to see that because it

00:27:03 --> 00:27:07

just reminds you of the prophetic sunnah right to, to while you're

00:27:07 --> 00:27:11

addressing people, you know, even though we're speaking to a camera,

00:27:11 --> 00:27:15

you know, here we're we're not engaged in with an audience. But

00:27:15 --> 00:27:18

there are some people who my shot the Batticaloa are so aware, and

00:27:18 --> 00:27:23

so present, and so mindful of their behavior, that they are

00:27:23 --> 00:27:26

fully, you know, they, they know what they're doing. And they're,

00:27:26 --> 00:27:30

they're, you know, applying this this beautiful son of smiling, so

00:27:30 --> 00:27:33

speaking to your brother while smiling at him. And then he says,

00:27:33 --> 00:27:36

this is just the rest of the Hadith, beware of trailing your

00:27:36 --> 00:27:41

garment. It is a form of vanity that Allah does not approve. So

00:27:41 --> 00:27:44

he's giving us again, these just general guidelines of behavior. So

00:27:44 --> 00:27:48

don't underestimate the good deed of giving your brother or sister

00:27:48 --> 00:27:51

something like water. Don't underestimate smiling while you're

00:27:51 --> 00:27:55

speaking to them. But then also do not, you know, do things where

00:27:55 --> 00:27:59

you're, you're not aware of the opposite, you know, that dragging

00:27:59 --> 00:28:02

garments can be a form of arrogance, right.

00:28:03 --> 00:28:07

And then if a man insults you with what he knows about you, do not

00:28:07 --> 00:28:11

insult him with what you know about him. Verily, you will have a

00:28:11 --> 00:28:15

reward and the penalty is upon the one who spoke it. I really

00:28:15 --> 00:28:18

appreciated, you know, of course, everything the problem was him

00:28:18 --> 00:28:21

said we should appreciate but I love this message. Because what I

00:28:21 --> 00:28:25

what I imagine, especially this last part of it, is smiling

00:28:25 --> 00:28:30

through even when someone is saying things about you that are

00:28:30 --> 00:28:35

not true because you have the knowledge that Allah subhanaw

00:28:35 --> 00:28:38

taala knows who you are, and I'm gonna speak specifically to those

00:28:38 --> 00:28:41

people who I know because I hear about these examples all the time,

00:28:42 --> 00:28:46

whether it's your spouse, whether it's your parents, whether it's a

00:28:46 --> 00:28:50

co worker, or your boss or someone in a position of authority over

00:28:50 --> 00:28:56

you. Sometimes we have people in our lives that emotionally or

00:28:56 --> 00:29:00

verbally may abuse us and they may even try to shame on us in front

00:29:00 --> 00:29:06

of other people. If you know yourself, well if you are right

00:29:06 --> 00:29:10

with Allah subhanaw taala you're a person of Taqwa. You're a person

00:29:10 --> 00:29:15

of good luck and beautiful character. You don't hurt people

00:29:15 --> 00:29:18

you don't you're not deceptive. You're not a bad person. If

00:29:18 --> 00:29:24

someone is trying to injure you with false words about you, you

00:29:24 --> 00:29:29

know, insults about you that are just not true. Take heart this

00:29:29 --> 00:29:32

message of the prophesies. Because what does he say? And I'll repeat

00:29:32 --> 00:29:38

it, if a man insults you with what he knows about you, right? So

00:29:38 --> 00:29:41

let's say that's a person that's that person's perception or

00:29:41 --> 00:29:45

they're made, either they're lying or they're, it's their perception

00:29:45 --> 00:29:47

of you, but they're basically saying these things about you

00:29:47 --> 00:29:51

right to your face. Do not insult him with what you know about him.

00:29:52 --> 00:29:57

In other words, rise above don't fall to their level. Don't give in

00:29:57 --> 00:30:00

and do the same thing because you have

00:30:00 --> 00:30:05

have to have that confidence that in that moment, Allah subhanaw

00:30:05 --> 00:30:11

taala is with the one who doesn't participate doesn't stoop to that

00:30:11 --> 00:30:16

low level just takes the high road. And the best way to really

00:30:16 --> 00:30:22

proceed actually, is to smile through it, to smile through while

00:30:22 --> 00:30:27

someone is saying something that is just simply not true. It takes

00:30:27 --> 00:30:32

obviously, great discipline, great restraint, to not want to lash

00:30:32 --> 00:30:38

back out and put them in their place with full on, you know,

00:30:39 --> 00:30:41

injuring them the same way insulting them the same way, it's

00:30:41 --> 00:30:44

very easy to do that. That's what we want, you know, what we would

00:30:44 --> 00:30:48

refer to as the default, it's very easy to to be to default into that

00:30:48 --> 00:30:52

kind of behavior. It's much harder to rise above, but it's also

00:30:52 --> 00:30:56

prophetic, because the prophesies set an example after example. You

00:30:56 --> 00:30:59

know, that's he that would happen to him, right? There were people

00:30:59 --> 00:31:02

who would come and they would, they would do things. I mean, you

00:31:02 --> 00:31:06

know, their stories were one man, I remember, pretty much manhandled

00:31:06 --> 00:31:10

the process and took him by the collar, can you imagine and just

00:31:10 --> 00:31:15

like, you know, aggressively, you know, and told him a love for God,

00:31:15 --> 00:31:19

because it was something having to do with, you know, the, the booty

00:31:19 --> 00:31:23

of a war that he wanted, or something like that, but he was so

00:31:23 --> 00:31:26

aggressive with the problem size, liberalism, of course, always

00:31:26 --> 00:31:31

being the perfect example are, and always having that temperance,

00:31:31 --> 00:31:37

that ability to remain completely unfazed. You know, he didn't give

00:31:37 --> 00:31:41

in to these, these provocations, he was very much in control of

00:31:41 --> 00:31:46

himself, he would just, you know, handle it with such grace and such

00:31:46 --> 00:31:51

beauty and such compassion and such understanding and, and then,

00:31:51 --> 00:31:56

you know, subhanAllah, because he knew why, no matter what the these

00:31:56 --> 00:31:59

people were saying, or doing, or even if they, you know, the mushy

00:31:59 --> 00:32:01

keen when they were trying to insult him, like a thought thought

00:32:01 --> 00:32:05

if, and other places, no matter what they were doing, it didn't

00:32:05 --> 00:32:09

matter, as long as he was right with Allah subhanaw taala. And

00:32:09 --> 00:32:14

that should be the considered, you know, the concern that we all have

00:32:14 --> 00:32:18

is, we're just as long as we're right with Allah, Who cares what

00:32:18 --> 00:32:22

people say. And it's a very freeing thing to get to that

00:32:22 --> 00:32:27

level. But it is one of the goals of spiritual work. It should be it

00:32:27 --> 00:32:31

should be one of our aims and goals, that we completely detach

00:32:31 --> 00:32:36

ourselves from caring about what other people think about us, and

00:32:36 --> 00:32:40

prioritizing what Allah subhanaw taala thinks about us. And as I

00:32:40 --> 00:32:43

said, it takes a lot of spiritual practice and time. But that's why

00:32:43 --> 00:32:46

we have a perfect example of the prophesies. And because he's here

00:32:46 --> 00:32:50

to teach us these things. So it's so important to read, how he

00:32:50 --> 00:32:53

handled the scenarios and situations where people were

00:32:53 --> 00:32:58

trying to incite him trying to injure him and just say, Can I do

00:32:58 --> 00:33:02

that job? Am I at that level to do that? And if not working towards

00:33:02 --> 00:33:05

that goal, because insha Allah Allah is with those who do that.

00:33:06 --> 00:33:09

And then just one thing before we stop for the q&a portion I wanted

00:33:09 --> 00:33:13

to mention which I forgot, which is maybe a little interactive

00:33:13 --> 00:33:17

component. For those of you who are watching. I thought it was

00:33:17 --> 00:33:22

interesting statistic, but does anybody know how often According

00:33:22 --> 00:33:27

to research, children smile during the day versus adults?

00:33:28 --> 00:33:32

It's really an interesting statistic. I'll give you a moment

00:33:32 --> 00:33:36

to type in your answers. But how many times a day do you think

00:33:36 --> 00:33:41

young children who are still in that age of play, right? Think of

00:33:41 --> 00:33:44

between the ages of birth to seven, right? That's the age of

00:33:44 --> 00:33:49

play? How often do you think children in that age? are smiling

00:33:49 --> 00:33:57

a day? And then what do you think is the statistic for adults? I'd

00:33:57 --> 00:33:59

love to see your answers

00:34:05 --> 00:34:11

mashallah, so 30 times a day is that for children, brother or for

00:34:11 --> 00:34:12

adults?

00:34:13 --> 00:34:18

Yeah, if you can maybe qualify that 100 Okay. Mashallah. Very

00:34:18 --> 00:34:23

good. Getting some answers here. Thank you keep them coming. I

00:34:23 --> 00:34:28

think they mean as children. Okay, I see adults, six in child 30.

00:34:28 --> 00:34:33

Savonarola. That's an interesting number. Usually, yeah, I

00:34:33 --> 00:34:38

appreciate the such an original answer. So the actual statistic,

00:34:38 --> 00:34:44

nor do you have an idea, I would say, in the hundreds for children

00:34:44 --> 00:34:48

and less than 100 for adults, because anybody who's Yeah, who's

00:34:48 --> 00:34:51

around children with you, if you're a teacher, you're a parent.

00:34:51 --> 00:34:57

It might surprise you might not. But actually it's 400 times a day

00:34:57 --> 00:34:59

on average for children's subpanel

00:35:00 --> 00:35:04

All right. And then it's so sad when you see the adult number

00:35:04 --> 00:35:08

Yala. Happy people and this is happening people, so not all

00:35:08 --> 00:35:15

adults, happy adults is 40 to 50 times a day. So 10 times more

00:35:15 --> 00:35:20

children are, are smiling than we are. And then the average adult is

00:35:20 --> 00:35:23

only 20 times a day. So you can do the math on that. But I think it's

00:35:23 --> 00:35:27

really tragic. But partly why I think it's important to mention is

00:35:27 --> 00:35:33

because the difference between children and adults is that

00:35:33 --> 00:35:38

children still have the element of awe right? That they are in a

00:35:38 --> 00:35:44

wander state, they're looking at the world and the experience that

00:35:44 --> 00:35:49

they're having in the world in a state of wonder, we lose that over

00:35:49 --> 00:35:54

time. And it's not that the world becomes any less wondrous or

00:35:54 --> 00:36:00

impressive. Allah's Island, the natural world is incredible. It's

00:36:00 --> 00:36:05

that we become more jaded and more burdened over time with human

00:36:05 --> 00:36:10

problems, which is why we have to go back to our worship because it

00:36:10 --> 00:36:14

is only through our worship of Allah subhanaw taala that we can

00:36:14 --> 00:36:20

re ignite that all within our hearts. That's why we say Allahu

00:36:20 --> 00:36:24

Akbar before we enter the prayer, right? We're literally reminding

00:36:24 --> 00:36:29

ourselves that, despite all the things that we see in the world,

00:36:29 --> 00:36:31

and all the things that are burdening us, and that break our

00:36:31 --> 00:36:36

hearts, and the destroyer, spirits, that God is greater than

00:36:36 --> 00:36:41

all of it, and he brought us into existence, and he is watchful over

00:36:41 --> 00:36:44

us, and He is with us, and he is closer to us than our jugular

00:36:44 --> 00:36:49

vein, Allahu Akbar. And that should bring you bring us into a

00:36:49 --> 00:36:56

state of, again, just just immense gratitude, and, and, and presence

00:36:56 --> 00:37:01

with our Creator. And that's how, then we of course, translate that

00:37:01 --> 00:37:06

all into action, by being people of generosity and spirit with time

00:37:07 --> 00:37:11

with our wealth with our food. And we start to share and from that

00:37:11 --> 00:37:15

sharing comes again, this commitment to the prophetic

00:37:15 --> 00:37:18

example of spreading the peace of Shia salaam rabbinical giving

00:37:18 --> 00:37:25

people the you know the gift of your smile. So, in sha Allah, just

00:37:25 --> 00:37:29

remember that that we it we shouldn't be childlike. In other

00:37:29 --> 00:37:33

ways. Of course, we should mature and we should, you know, grow and

00:37:33 --> 00:37:37

develop in our intellects and our understanding but in terms of our

00:37:37 --> 00:37:41

spirit and, and all that we have for just being in existence, we

00:37:41 --> 00:37:49

should absolutely try to emulate our, our younger or younger, or

00:37:49 --> 00:37:53

the children of you know, around us, wherever they are, whoever

00:37:53 --> 00:37:56

they are, and try to take them as our examples and show them

00:37:56 --> 00:37:56

teachers.

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