Hatem al-Haj – ADB020 Al-Adab Al-Mufrad – Chapter on Childrens Death
AI: Summary ©
The importance of honoring the Prophet's oath and protecting oneself from the fire is emphasized in the segment. The importance of strong protective gear is also emphasized. The segment discusses the benefits of religion and the importance of sharing the structure of life. The segment also touches on the loss of children due to illness and the importance of faith in sustaining them.
AI: Summary ©
To proceed, Imam Al-Bukhari said in his
book, Al-Athab Al-Mufrad, Babu' Fadli Man
Matalahu Al-Walad, Chapter The Virtue Of One
Who Loses A Child.
Chapter The Virtue Of One Who Loses A
Child.
Al-Walad is boy or girl?
Both.
Qala Haddasana Ismail, Qala Haddasani Malik, A'n
Ibn Al-Shihab, A'n Ibn Al-Musayyib,
A'n Ibn Al-Musayyib, you know, you
could either say Ibn Al-Musayyib or Al
-Musayyib.
And people disagree over this all the time.
A'n Ibn Al-Musayyib, A'n Abi
Huraira, A'n Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Abu
Huraira, this is Hadith 143, Abu Huraira reported
that the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
said, No Muslim who loses three children will
be touched by the fire except to fulfill
Allah's oath.
Except to fulfill Allah's oath.
Which one?
Wa imminkum illa wariduha, kana ala rabbika hatman
maqdiyya.
Ammanu najji allatheena attaqaw, wa nazaru al-dhalimeena
feeha jisiyya.
Wa imminkum illa wariduha.
None of you except that they will come
to it, arrive at it, enter it, pass
over it, depends on who's interpreting.
You see all these translations, they are based
on the tafsir of the Mufassireen of al
-Wurood.
What does al-Wurood of Jahannam mean in
this ayah?
Wa imminkum illa wariduha, none of you but
will come to it.
Does it mean pass over?
Does it mean enter?
Does it mean come to it?
So, anyway.
But everybody will basically go through it, pass
over it, go through it.
And that is Allah's qasam, that's Allah's oath.
Of course that does not mean that everybody
will be tormented or tortured because we have
a text of revelation ya'ni ya'tkul sab
'una alfan min hadhihi al-umma al-jannah
bi la hasaban wa la athab So 70
,000 and he added with every thousand 70
,000.
But there will be among this ummah people
who will enter paradise without reckoning or torment.
So, how do you go through it or
enter it and not get tormented?
The power of God.
The power of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Takun bardan wa salaman alayk Like the nar
was bardan wa salaman, was cool for Ibrahim
and harmless.
So, this is certainly a beautiful hadith in
which the Prophet ﷺ gave the glad tidings
to people.
Keep in mind that this happened so often
before modernity.
People used to lose their kids to various
diseases very early on.
And so people would, you know, sometimes people
would celebrate after their child reaches age 7.
Because if they reach age 7, they will
likely live.
And before age 7, many kids were basically
lost or died before age 7 and did
not survive.
So, this used to be a common occurrence.
And the Prophet ﷺ, there are plenty of
hadith that talk about, you know, losing a
child.
Plenty of hadith that talk about losing a
child.
This is one of them.
You know, Imam Bukhari mentions several ones here.
The next one says, he said, rahimahullah, Qadathana
Umar ibn Hafs ibn Ghiath Qala hadathana abia
an talq ibn Muawiyah, an abi zur'a,
an abi huraira An amraatan atat al-nabiyy
salallahu alayhi wa sallam bi sabiyyin Fa qalat
ud'u Allaha fa qaddafantu thalasa Fa qala
ihtazarti bi hizarin chadeedin min al-nar Hadith
144, Abu Huraira reported that a woman came
to the Prophet ﷺ with a child and
said, Pray for him, as I have buried
three of my children.
He replied, You have protected yourself with a
strong barrier from the fire.
You have fenced yourself.
You know, al-hizar is the fence that
you build around your garden.
So it's a fence, like it's a fortification,
you know, castle.
So you have protected yourself with a strong
barrier against the hellfire.
Then he said, hadathana ayyash, qala hadathana abdu
'l-a'la, qala hadathana sa'id al
-jurairiyya an khalid al-absi, or al-qaysi,
or al-ayshi.
You know, some people, you know, it's different
how people, you know.
Al-asma' sometimes are, there are difficulties sometimes
in, you know, judging the names because they
didn't have the dots in the old manuscripts
and stuff like this.
So sometimes the scholars disagree over the names
of narrators.
So khalid al-absi is al-absi, al
-qaysi, al-ayshi.
Most commonly it's al-absi.
And some of the, you know, some of
our greatest, like if you talk about great
narrators, Shua'ba would be through the roof.
Shua'ba would be like, there's nothing beyond
this.
You know, Shua'ba, Malik, Ibn Anas, these
are people that are, there is nothing above
this.
So he's Amir al-Mu'mineen fil-Hadith.
The only thing that they counted against him,
kana yukhtu'u fil-asma'.
Even Shua'ba, Amir al-Mu'mineen fil-Hadith,
the one who goes through the roof.
He used to make mistakes.
Some people say frequently, and most people would
say, you know, occasionally, rarely.
But still, he used to make mistakes.
That is why you will not find a
scholar who doesn't make mistakes.
And sometimes funny mistakes.
Allah wants to show the humanity, the fallibility
of everyone.
So that is why everybody makes mistakes.
And that's why no one has complete knowledge.
That is why you have someone like al
-Mughayr ibn Shua'ba going to Abu Bakr
as-Siddiq and correcting him about mi'rath
al-Jadda.
And going to Umar and correcting him about
imlas al-mar'ah or abortion.
So, this is al-Mughayr ibn Shua'ba.
You know, an honorable Sahabi, but in nowhere
near Abu Bakr and Umar.
Doesn't come close to, but he's far away
from them by a wide margin in every
respect.
Yet, he corrects them.
And that is, you know, Allah has shown
the fallibility of everyone.
And that should not make us proud or
arrogant when we find people's mistakes.
It should humble us that even those scholars
make mistakes.
The only reason why you don't know your
mistakes is that that is natural.
Do you see, you know, do you see
the color of your eye whites?
Like, you see my eyes are red now?
I just saw this in the mirror in
the morning.
Had I not looked in the mirror, I
would have never discovered that my eyes are
red.
But I would have been able to see
the color of everybody's eyes except mine without
the mirror, you know.
But that's what it is.
That is why the Prophet ﷺ said, يَرَى
أَحَدُكُمْ الْقِذَاتَ فِي عَيْنِ أَخِيهِ وَلَا يَرَى الْجِزَعَ
مُعْتَرِضًا فِي عَيْنِهِ You can see the *
in the eyes of your brothers, but you
can't see the log in your own eye.
So, anyway, Khalid al-Absi said, قَالَ مَاتَ
بْنٌ لِي فَوَجَدْتُ عَلَيْهِ وَجْدًا شَدِيدًا فَقُلْتُ يَا
أَبَا هُرَيْرَ مَا سَمِعْتَ مِنَ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ شَيْئًا
تُسَخْفِي بِهِ أَنفُسَنَا عَنْ مَوْتَانَ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ مِنَ
النَّبِيِّ ﷺ يَقُولْ صِغَارُكُمْ دَعَامِيسُ الْجَنَّةِ Khalid al
-Absi said, I lost a son and felt
great grief over him.
I asked Abu Huraira r.a, What did
you hear from the Prophet ﷺ to console
us, to console us for our deceased?
He replied, I heard the Prophet ﷺ say,
Your young ones are the little creatures of
Paradise freely roaming the gardens of Paradise.
freely roaming the gardens of Paradise.
How did I make all this translation?
How did I come up with the whole
sentence?
Because دَعَامِيسُ is the plural of دُعْمُوس and
دُعْمُوس means little creature دُعَيْبَ تَكُونْ فِي الْمَاءَ
او طَيْرَ صَغِير So it's a little creature
So some people say it is like a
small creature in the water in water bodies
that stays in water bodies and some people
say it's like a small bird a small
bird that goes everywhere that goes into that
has the ability to go into every small
space and so what are the implications of
this?
Implications of this is this دُعْيبَ that is
in water bodies does not leave the water
bodies so you could say they are the
permanent residents of Paradise and this طَيْر acts
like children children run all over the place,
they are roaming all over the place, they
have no bounds no limits, so the Prophet
ﷺ wanted to console them you know, that
image of your child running like if someone
loses their child and they remember him running
around and getting into trouble and stuff your
child would be doing the same thing in
Paradise so he is trying to bring them
bring that picture and tell them instead of
doing it here they are doing it in
Paradise so صِغَارَكُمْ دَعْمِيسُ الْجَنَّة and then when
خالد العبس he says to Abu Huraira tell
us something you heard from the Prophet ﷺ
to console us, he is referring to one
of the one of the functions of religion
and so what is the benefit of religion?
everything is right, of course so the ultimate
benefit in religion is salvation, right?
النجاة الفوز نجاة من النار فوز بالجنة رضا
الله to win the pleasure the acceptance of
your Lord and His pleasure and consequently survival
and to be saved from the Hellfire and
enter Paradise right?
this is the ultimate goal of anyone but
let alone salvation is religion beneficial without that
concept?
why are religious people happier than non-religious
people?
because religion is beneficial even without that concept
why is it keep in mind that whatever
it is that you have left in societies
that walk away from religion it's the herd
religiosity it is the remains of religions so
like you say in Europe and America people
are still having a civilization without religion particularly
in Europe and they're doing quite well they
look like they're on top of their act
more than most Muslim countries and they're having
sort of a functioning civilization they have peace,
they have security they have stability what do
you need a civilization for?
you need a civilization for existence for stability
and for development, progress thriving, enrichment so they
seem to be having it all it it
you know we don't have to be bashing
everybody that is different because of our chauvinism
yes, they seem to be having thriving civilizations
but keep in mind much of what they
have is because of what remained of Christianity
the sanity versus the evil the good versus
the evil there is so much evil but
there is still so much good and whatever
it is that is good these are the
remains of Christianity at the end of the
day, Christianity came from God they changed it
they manipulated it and changed it it came
from God so it is because of that
that's sort of the herd morality that remained
because of Christianity but without this you know,
atheism leads really nowhere and it's destructive for
the human spirit and it will be destructive
for human civilization here is what religion gives
you we're not talking about salvation here because
we said that's certainly the most important thing
but you know aside from salvation away from
salvation what does religion give you it gives
you a grand narrative a grand narrative a
grand narrative is important it's important for to
know your place in this universe what is
this all about this is about meaning it's
about direction it's about identity it's about transcendence
the grand narrative of our religion and if
you apply every one of these benefits to
our religion, you will find that it far
supersedes, exceeds any other religion uh what is
the grand narrative of our religion we came
from god to him we will return and
he cares about us so he sent messengers
and prophets to show us the way back
to him he sent us here we will
go back to him he cares about us
he sent messengers and prophets to show us
the way back to him that is the
grand narrative of our religion and this gives
you meaning it gives you direction and it's
about identity formation you form your identity based
on this grand narrative your place in this
universe is decided in your mind, is shaped
in your mind by this grand narrative, imagine
if you are atheist and you believe that
we came from monkeys and the unicell so
what is the difference between you and mice
there is not much difference what is the
difference between you what is the difference between
you know life with locomotion life with sentience
and without locomotion and no life, no sentience
no locomotion, what is the difference absolutely not
much you know, life itself is meaningless life
itself is meaningless because they don't believe in
the spirit so anyway so this grand narrative
is important so after identity formation it helps
you transcend transcend the self self transcendence remember
Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs the final one
is what self transcendence but he didn't add
it to the pyramid or he died before
he actually figured out before he died that
self actualization should not be the top most
that is why the right way of the
curve is to do this and then to
do this and that is self transcendence and
so you reach the peak of self actualization
and that is important for us Muslims to
realize that self actualization is important because after
self actualization you transcend so to excel to
embrace Ihsan and to show mediocrity I wrote
a post recently about this to show mediocrity
and embrace Ihsan will get you there and
when you get there you will want to
ascend you know you will find that you
are on top of your act you are
in complete control you have it all but
it is not enough and you want to
transcend and ascend to self transcendence so all
of this is grand narrative all of this
is about grand narrative and the benefits of
the grand narrative grand narrative is one benefit
the deen gives you and the grand narrative
of Islam is the most perfect and coherent
one ok
um so what else does the religion give
you in addition to the grand narrative structure
motivation consolation consolus
did you hear anything from the prophet that
can console us when we lose our children
consolation comfort it also has to do with
hope and also has to do with reconciliation
morality cohesion enrichment
without religion you lose all of this structure
is important people without your life is structured
based on the rituals guidelines, fasting there is
you know like a month of fasting there
are five daily prayers your whole life will
be structured around this and there are do's
and don'ts that are extremely important for the
human being to know that there are guardrails
there are guidelines there is a road map
versus having no structure whatsoever having no structure
whatsoever is detrimental to people's psyche when you
even lose interest in everything when everything is
mubah when everything is permissible everything becomes less
interesting you know less desirable motivation so religion
moves us it motivates us you know all
the reward that is assigned to all different
acts of good and it even motivates us
in our lives personal life the strong believer
is more beloved to Allah than the weak
one so all of this motivation comes from
the religion and it is dependent on this
direction that is given to you by the
grand narrative and the structure on the opposite
side from motivation is consolation comfort, hope, reconciliation
because people are not having it well all
the time people go through trials and they
suffer and sometimes you could do your best
but you could be afflicted by a trial
a loss of a child a loss of
limb severe disease terminal illness financial hardship loss
of your business trials do human beings need
comfort consolation, hope and disputes also with others
you need reconciliation you need somehow to be
able to move on to forgive, to pardon
to reconcile reconcile with your own destinies, reconcile
with your hardships, reconcile with other people, reconcile
with your surroundings, with your environment in general
yes and these two some people would be
more inclined for towards this, and some people
are more inclined towards this the movement oriented
people would be more inclined towards this and
the sort of spiritual people would be more
inclined towards that they'd be more inclined towards
acceptance and movement-oriented people would be more
active, energetic, avant-garde, sort of daring.
But then without this, they can also dry
out.
They can also, they can get like tired,
exhausted.
And I have known many of them who
get to a point of complete despair if
they are not balancing this with this.
So Imam Taqiyyid Ibn Taymiyyah, no one can
be, can say they are more movement-oriented
than him.
So he was all the time, it's just
like about, you know, jihad and, you know,
polemics and this and that.
It's, he was fighting for what he believed
to be the truth.
And most of the time he was right.
But then they say also that, you know,
his morning adhkar up until the sun is
very high, he would be spending all of
his time from fajr until the time is
really high in zikr and ibadah and things
of that nature.
He would review 70 books of tafsir and
then go out to the desert or the
wilderness and dust his forehead by prostrate and
dust his forehead, asking Allah Subh'anaHu Wa
Ta-A'la to expand his understanding.
He knows this is not limited to the
intellect.
You know, you can't really get all these
good and poor.
You can't really get all these blessings from
Allah based on your intellect or your knowledge
or how many books you reviewed.
You need Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A
'la to expand your heart and to expand
your understanding.
So, and Ibn Al-Qayyim says that when
we, when things got very hard for us
and we felt distressed and hopeless, these were
turbulent times.
He was, these were the times when he
was alive before he, the crusaders had left
Sham when he was about 32 years of
age.
And the Mongols have been attacking from the
other side or the Tatars, they're our brothers
now, just like Quraysh used to be bad
and then they became good and stuff.
So, the Tatars over the Mongols, they were
attacking from the east.
The crusaders have not left yet.
These were times of great, great turmoil for
the Muslims.
And in addition to all the, you know,
the spread of superstitions and innovated matters and
blasphemy and heresy and all of that stuff.
So he said, when we were distressed, it
was only, it was enough for us to
come and see him and look at his
face and feel hope and strength.
So, you have to balance the two.
You have to balance the two.
Movement oriented, motivation, all of that stuff, consolation,
comfort, hope, reconciliation.
If you tend to be, to prefer this
spiritual coma, you will not be effective and
you will be oftentimes misguided.
Like, you know, a sinner detached from the,
you know, the aspirations of your ummah, detached
from the conditions around you, detached from the
aspirations of your ummah.
But if you tend to be, you know,
on this side, neglecting that side, you will
dry out.
You will get weary and exhausted.
Now, what else does the religion provide?
It provides morality.
And this objective morality that we all have
must have come from God.
The fact that the infrastructure of morality, morality
has infrastructure and manifestations.
And even if within different cultures, the manifestations
of morality could vary, studies have shown that
the infrastructure of morality is, you know, by
agreement, universal.
We have a universal infrastructure of morality.
Therefore, you know, the word justice in any
language in the world, in the whole world
would sound, you know, pleasing or not, or
like justice, the concept of justice, you know,
no matter how you want to translate it,
ad justice, whatever else in any other language.
Why do we agree on this?
Why do we agree on, you know, the
beauty of mercy?
Why do we agree on this?
Because universal infrastructure, this universal infrastructure must have
been given to us by God.
You know, William Lane Craig, he counts on
this a lot, this moral objective morality for
his, you know, defense of the existence of
God.
But it is true, objective morality is true.
And where does this come from?
It comes from God.
And without this, are we expected, and that's
even why you have some atheists like agreeing
with this, because it comes from God.
But when you remove God from the equation
after 100, 200 years, 300 years, what happens?
Why should you be moral?
Like the idea here is, it is completely
purposeless to be moral if you believe that
we just came here by coincidence from the
uni cell, and evolution, you know, brought us
here, and that's it.
But why should there be morality?
And actually, it sounds dumb to be moral.
It would, you know, amount to stupidity and
dumbness.
Eventually, if you believe that there is nothing
beyond matter, if there is nothing beyond matter,
you should be utilitarian, completely utilitarian in the
sense of, you know, you only care about
your own well-being, your own happiness, and
your own pleasure.
So on the other side here of morality,
cohesion.
This is basically the shared identity between people.
How do people develop shared identity?
Up until now, religion is the most capable
factor to create shared identity between people.
Catholics relate to Catholics.
Muslims relate to Muslims.
Jews relate to Jews.
That is the most important factor.
You know, that does not mean that you
completely, that, you know, nationality, ethnicity, the tribe,
et cetera, they are not factors.
They are factors, but the most important factors
that brings people together creates a shared identity.
The very fact that we are all fasting
in Ramadan, that when Eid al-Adha comes,
I don't need to ask you if you're
celebrating.
I know you are celebrating.
That is shared identity, and that is basically
the impetus that brings people together, creates civilization.
Civilization has to have some shared identity, shared
identity, and in addition to this, it does
not only bring people together.
It teaches people how to live together, how
to be kind to each other, how to
support one another.
It's the capital, it's the, you know, social
solidarity.
That is religion.
Enrichment also, when it comes to creative expression,
when it comes to arts, when it comes
to culture, did anything promote this more than
their religion?
And to be fair to Christianity also, even
in the Middle Ages, who was still reading
and, you know, concerned about knowledge, they were
the monks and priests and so on.
So nothing can basically, nothing promoted that creative
expression.
Enrichment, spiritual, intellectual, every form of enrichment more
than religion.
The mystery, the awe of, you know, expanding
your imagination to something that is way beyond
your physical environment, your material environment, that is
what creates creativity and that is what enriches
people in every respect, you know, spiritual enrichment,
mental enrichment, and in every respect.
These are all benefits that people lose when
they lose religion.
All of these are benefits that is, aside
from the most important benefit, connecting with the
divine and earning the pleasure and acceptance of
the divine and, you know, survival, salvation, and
entry into eternal bliss in paradise.
But these are all different things.
So all of the hadiths that we have
been talking about here about the loss of
a child and the reward for the loss
of the child, which function of religion are
they serving?
Consolation, comfort, hope, reconciliation.
Reconciliation is not limited to reconciliation between disputants,
but reconciliation with your destinies, your hardships in
general.
Then, the last hadith is the Amis al
-Jannah.
The next one, Hadathana Ayyash qala hadathana Abdul
-A'la qala hadathana Muhammad ibn Ishaq qala
hadathani Muhammad ibn Ibrahim ibn al-Harith an
-Mahmud ibn al-Abid an-Jabir ibn Abdullah
qal Mahmud ibn al-Abid is a young
sahabi and Jabir ibn Abdullah is a sahabi.
So this hadith has two sahabas.
There are many a hadith that has two
sahabas back to back.
And there are very few that would have
three sahaba back to back, but many hadith,
several hadith have two sahabas.
So Mahmud ibn al-Abid was a young
sahabi and he's the one who said, aqaltu
majjatan majjaha Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam fi
wajhihi.
I remember or I was aware, cognizant of
one time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
squirted water in my face, like he had
water in his mouth and he squirted the
water in his face.
So that is being lighthearted.
And it's different from, you know, the ordinary
picture of a teacher or a preacher or
like a big sheikh, you know, who has
to be serious and has to look a
certain way and act a certain way and
even walk a certain way.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not
pay attention to these formalities.
So this was like a little child, the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was making a
move or something and he squirted water in
his face.
So Mahmud ibn al-Abid reported that the
Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
whoever has three children who die and remains
patient, will enter Paradise.
I said to Jabir ibn Abdillah, I see
if you say one, he will say.
He said, and I think so, by Allah.
And I think so, by Allah.
He said, Jabir ibn Abdillah reported that the
Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
whoever has three children who die and remains
patient, seeking Allah s reward, will enter Paradise.
They said, what about two?
He said, and two.
So he said to Jabir, Mahmud ibn al
-Abid said to Jabir, had you said one,
he would have said one.
Jabir said to him, yes, I believe so.
Had we said one, he would have said
one.
What is this?
That is why we say mafhum al-adad
is weak.
You know mafhum al-mukharafah, divergent implication?
Okay, so mafhum al-mukharafah, divergent implication, like
when something is mentioned, and like a ruling
attached to a certain things, a certain sifah,
quality, number, you know, ghaya, end, makan, place,
zaman, you know, time, laqab, title, or conditional
statements.
Although conditional statements, even the people who disagree
with divergent implication, many of them accept conditional
statements.
But anyway, mafhum al-mukharafah, divergent implication.
When something is mentioned, and a ruling is
assigned to it, that which is not mentioned
takes the opposite ruling, takes the opposite ruling.
Or at least does not take the ruling,
does not assume the ruling of that which
was mentioned, because it was omitted.
So when we say, if you lose three
children, you will enter paradise.
And then they say, what about two?
And he says two, then three is inconsequential
here.
But why did he mention three?
li anahu aqal al-kathra.
Because that's the sort of the lowest number
that would be considered the multiplicity, multiplicity.
The lowest number considered the multiplicity is three.
So he mentioned three, but he didn't mean
three for three.
But he said, like, you're most deserving when
you lose several children.
But what if you lost two, he said,
and two.
And he said, had he said one, he
would have said one.
And in fact, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said in a hadith reported by al
-Bukhari, laysa li abdi al-mu'min idha qabattu
al-safiyyah min ahl al-dunya jaza illa
al-jannah.
Or as he said, kama qal.
So my servant, I will have no reward
for my servant who loses
to death his favorite companion, except al-jannah.
I will have no reward short of al
-jannah or other than al-jannah for my
servant who lost to death one of his
favorite companion.
So this even, of course, your child is
more than a favorite companion.
So this even good news for someone who
did not even only lose their child, but
lost, like, anyone favorite to them, even a
friend, even a favorite friend.
Uh, so this applies even to one person.
And in this case, mafhum al-mukhalafah would
be, you know, in this case, why is
the mention of three?
Because these are most deserving, you know, who
lost multiplicity of kids, most deserving of it.
Does not mean that there are others are
not deserving who lost two or one, but
it means that those who lost multiplicity are
most deserving.
Then he said, hadathana alayh ibn abdullah, qala
hadathana khafs ibn ghiyath, qala sam'atu talqa
ibn mu'awiyah, huwa jadduhu, qala sam'atu
aba zura'a an abi huraira.
Of course, this is Abu Zura'a, not
the imam, the scholar of hadith.
This is Abu Zura'a al-tabi'i.
An abi huraira, anna mra'atan atat al
-nabiyyi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam bi sabiyyin, fa
qala dawallaha lahu, fa qad dafantu thalasa, fa
qala ihtazarti bihidharin shadidin min al-nar.
This is a repetition.
Abu Huraira reported at the moment, came to
the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, with a
child and said, pray to Allah for him,
as I have buried three of my children.
He said, you have built a strong barrier
from the fire.
Then he said, hadathana alayh ibn al-madiniyya,
qala hadathana Sufyan, qala hadathana Suhair ibn Abi
Saleh, an abi, who's Sufyan, which Sufyan?
Ibn Uyayna.
qala hadathana ibn Abi Saleh, an abi, because
Sufyan al-Thawri would have died much earlier.
Like, you know, alayh ibn al-madiniyya would
have not been able to see Sufyan al
-Thawri.
So this is Sufyan ibn Uyayna.
qala hadathana Suhair ibn Abi Saleh, an abi
Saleh, an abi Huraira.
A woman came to the Prophet and said,
O Messenger of Allah, we are not able
to see you in your assembly.
So promise us a day when we will
come to see you.
He said, Your promise is a house of
such and such.
So he came to them with that promise.
And in what he had said to them,
not a woman among you would die for
her three children, and you would hold them
accountable, unless she enters Paradise.
So a woman said, or two?
He said, or two.
qana Suhairun yatashaddadu fil hadith wa yahfaz walam
yakun ahadun yaqdiru an yaktuba inda.
He said, Abu Huraira reported that the woman
said to the Prophet ﷺ, O Messenger of
Allah, we're unable to come to you in
your gatherings.
Set for us a day on which we
can come to you.
Unable to come to you means what?
They were not excluded from the public teaching.
They are sitting in the back.
So because they are sitting in the back
and the men are surrounding the Prophet ﷺ
next to him, they can't really feel free
to ask questions, as many questions as they
want and so on.
It is not like they were excluded from
public teaching.
So set for us a day on which
we come to you.
He said, and certainly they have also, they
have also meant, she said, qalabana alayka alrijal
in other reports.
So the rijal have taken more of you
than us, because you travel with them and
you go around with them and stuff like
this.
So give us time for us.
He said, your appointed time is the house
of so and so, which teaches you that
the Prophet ﷺ was not limiting his teaching
to the masajid.
He used to teach all over the place
in houses and other places.
They came on the appointed day and among
the things he told them was, any woman
who loses three children and seeks Allah's reward
will enter paradise.
Tahtasib.
Tahtasib means what?
Seeks Allah's reward.
To be patient and to seek reward from
Allah will enter paradise.
To be impatient means to not cry.
No, you cry.
The Prophet ﷺ said, inna Allaha la yu
'azzibu bidam'i al-'ayni wa la huzn al
-qalb.
That's when Ibrahim died.
And he was crying and they said to
him, you are the messenger of God and
you cry.
And he said, inna Allaha la yu'azzibu
bidam'i al-'ayni wa la huzn al-qalb.
wa la huzn al-qalb.
So Allah does not torment people because of
the tears of the eyes or the sadness
in the heart, but because of this.
So if you show ungratefulness, throw speech to
Allah ﷻ, then you will be faulted for
that.
You are never faulted for the sadness in
your heart or the tears.
In fact, the sadness in the heart and
the tears are qadil or mafdool, qadil, virtuous,
superior, not inferior.
That's why al-Imam Taqi al-Din ibn
Taymiyyah, when they told him about Abdullah ibn
Umar saying, when Abdullah ibn Umar lost a
child and he was smiling, they asked him
why are you smiling?
So he said, inna Allaha qad ahabba amran
fa ahababtu anhu ahabba ma ahabba Allah.
Allah, you know, was pleased with a decree,
so I wanted to be pleased with that
which He is pleased with.
Allah was pleased with taking my child back,
so I wanted to show pleasure with that
which pleased Him.
And so al-Imam Taqi al-Din said
that this is a great example of rida,
acceptance, contentment, and acceptance of the decrees of
Allah.
And he said, and it is inferior, it
is inferior to the to the Prophet's condition
when he lost Ibrahim.
Why is it inferior?
Because the Prophet cried and was sad.
He said, he said because the
heart of Abdullah ibn Umar was not spacious
enough to accommodate the two stations, shafaqa bil
-makhluq wa rida bil-khaliq.
So he decided you know, to favor rida
over shafaqa.
So the heart of Abdullah ibn Umar was
not as spacious as the heart of the
Prophet ﷺ who combined between these two stations
of, you know, mercy and pity and mercy
for the child and acceptance of the decrees
of Allah.
The Prophet was able to combine them.
He said, and we say not but that
which is pleasing to our Lord.
So so if, you know, he said this
to women in particular because it's understandable that
women will be sadder and more devastated by
the loss of a child they feel their
children are a part of them they came
out of them.
Then the next hadith Amr
ibn Aamir al-Ansari Amr
ibn Aamir al-Ansari reported from Umm Sulaym
that she was with the Prophet ﷺ and
he said, Oh Umm Sulaym, if two Muslims
lose their three children Allah would admit them
to paradise by His mercy toward them.
She asked, and if they lose two he
replied, and if they lose two.
You know the story of Umm Sulaym when
she lost her child?
You remember when Umm Sulaym lost her child
and Abu Talha Abu Talha was the father
of the shahad, the husband of Umm Sulaym,
father of the child Umm Sulaym is the
mother of who?
Anas So Abu Talha is the father he
is not Anas' father but he is the
husband of Umm Sulaym and so Abu Talha
was travelling and he came back and so
Abu Talha was travelling, he came back and
his child was sick and he had died
right before he arrived the child had died
so Umm Sulaym covered him and then when
Abu Talha came he did what?
He asked about the child and he said
he is basically the most peaceful now, at
peace at complete peace now and so Abu
Talha understood from this that he recovered and
and then the next day after that they
had marital relations and everything, the next day
she informed them what do you call this?
emotional generosity because he is coming back tired,
exhausted travelled during their times was such an
ordeal and she didn't want to shock him
when he came back I mean, don't expect
this from women and women also are not
expecting this extent of emotional generosity from you
but it is certainly a level of emotional
generosity that would make us feel too little
because you just can't handle this like if
you are the mother you really can't handle
this like who cares about the feelings of
Abu Talha I lost a child but she
did then he said hadathana mu'tamer qala
qara'atu alal fudail an abi hariz an
alhasana hadathahu biwasat an nasa'asata bina mu
'awiya hadathahu anahu laqia abadhar mutawashshihan qirba qala
ma laka minal waladi abadhar qala ala uhaddisuk
qultu bala qala sim'atu rasulallah yaqul ma
min muslimin yamutulahu thirasa minal walad lam yablughul
hinsa illa adkhalahu allahu aljanna bi fadli rahmatihi
iyahum wa ma min rajulin a'taqa musliman illa
ja'alallahu kulli udwin minhu fikakahu li kulli
udwin minhu so alhasan reported from alhasan
reported from sasa'a ibn mu'awiya that
he met abudhar wearing like you know the
water skin so like he's wearing something that
he made out of the water skin and
abudhar lived a very ascetic life so he
asked him how many children do you have
abudhar and abudhar said shall I tell you
or should I uhaddisuk this was used to
refer to convey a hadith from the prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam shall I tell you
I heard the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam say no muslim who loses 3
children who did not reach maturity will fail
to enter paradise by allah's mercy so what
about losing 3 children before maturity so if
you apply mafhum al-mukhalafah which the majority
applies the hanafis don't apply mafhum al-mukhalafah
I said in conditional statements many of them
do but in general they don't not consistently
but that's a fiqh discussion so let's not
just branch off so if you apply mafhum
al-mukhalafah here the vergent implication what if
you lose children after maturity would you say
that you get the same reward or not
the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says if
you lose 3 children before they reach maturity
you get this reward what about the other
narrations would what indicate that it is not
limited to but you're saying the other narrations
would qualify but that would be the other
way around the other narrations are unqualified this
is the qualifier so al-mutlaq is the
absolute you know and al-muqayyad al-muqayyad
yuqayyad al-muqayyad the restricted restricts, qualifies so
it depends on your understanding of this do
you understand the mafhum al-mukhalafah unless in
the other it's five any age so it
depends on your understanding of mafhum al-mukhalafah
and can we say that this is kharaj
al-ghalib that this was on the presumption
that this is the most common you know
people used to lose children like I told
you the past 7 they celebrate that they
are likely to live because they lost so
many of them earlier is this based on
this kharaj al-ghalib because it is the
predominant thing predominant assumption that they would die
before maturity could be because what should be
more painful to lose like a one month
old or to lose your child after after
they were able to walk next to you
or were able to walk as fast as
you do like if you lose like a
16 year old wouldn't that be more devastating
so because it would be more devastating this
hadith would not be qualified by this by
mafhum al-mukhalafah or divergent implication divergent implication
is not one of the strongest mafahim or
implications so you could there are many exceptions
from mafhum al-mukhalafah many reasons why you
basically exclude things from mafhum al-mukhalafah ok
but what may be said about losing a
child before al-hins before maturity before puberty
what is special about losing a child before
purity huh no for some people it creates
a faith crisis because when you see like
a 3 year old suffer through the pains
and agonies of disease and death that for
some people who creates a faith crisis what
have they done to deserve this a question
that comes across the people who will have
faith to endure the agony of that question
huh and to understand the wisdom to defer
to the wisdom of Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala certainly they will go to jannah the
arba amis al-jannah the and this is
part of it you know so part of
the islamic answer to the question to the
problem of evil or islamic theodicy is that
these children are going to jannah so the
final destination is a good destination final destination
the ultimate destination is a good destination but
it does cause it does cause zalzalah it
does cause it shakes shakes people when they
see a child you know if you go
to any cancer center and you see the
amount of kids that are dying because of
cancer that actually is quite hard on people's
psyche and unless you have enough iman some
people don't care about anything we're not talking
about those people some people are just like
they don't care but we're talking about the
people who care if they don't have enough
iman this can certainly shake their face so
there is something special and that is why
the prophet wanted to mention it but it
does not mean that the other people who
lost a child after maturity will not get
the reward but he also wanted to stress
that so that he basically brings our attention
to this point that if you have strong
faith you will be able to weather that
storm you will be able to withstand that
test to see a toddler going through the
pain of illness and death and so on
then he said in imam al-bukhari and
this is the last hadith in this chapter
he said hadathana abdullahi ibn abil aswad qala
hadathana zakariya ibn umar al-ansari qala hadathana
abd al-aziz ibn suhaib anas ibn al
-malik anas ibn al-malik
reported that the prophet s.a.w. said
whoever has 3 children who die before reaching
maturity again the prophet wants to emphasize this
point for a reason for a reason Allah
will admit him and them to paradise by
Allah his mercy and perhaps stop
here chapter on the one who loses a
miscarried child maybe we defer this ok we'll
stop here subhana allah walakum wa rahmatullahi wa
barakatuh