Hatem al-Haj – ADB011 Al-Adab Al-Mufrad – The Excellence of Maintaining Ties of Kinship
AI: Summary ©
The segment discusses the concept of "has been there" and the importance of trusting one's values and not letting anyone cut off anyone else's ties. The concept of "immediate connection" is discussed, including the importance of trusting one's values and maintaining ties with family members. The segment also touches on the concept of kinship and how it is used to indicate acceptance and loyalty to one's partner. The segment concludes with a weak narrator and a reference to a previous hadith.
AI: Summary ©
Alhamdulillah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, wa rasool Allah
wa alayhi wa sahbihi wa ala aslam, I'm
about to proceed.
So today, inshallah, we will continue with a
chapter on Babu Fadli salat ar-Rahim, or
Babu Fadli salat ar-Rahim, the chapter on
the excellence of maintaining ties of kinship.
And last time, we did talk about the
hadith of the person who came to the
Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, and said to
him that I have a family that I
maintain ties while they cut me off, and
so on.
And we talked about how there is a
difference between al-wasl, the person who joins
his kin, and al-mukafi, the person who
reciprocates favors.
And we said that the true wasl, the
person who joins his kin, is not simply
the mukafi or the person who reciprocates favors
or reciprocates kindness.
It's the one who joins his kin or
family when they cut him off.
And today we will go over the following
hadith from hadith number 53.
This is still chapter 27, Babu Fadli salat
ar-Rahim.
Imam Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on him,
said to us, Ismail ibn Abi Uwais said
to me, my brother, about Sulayman ibn Bilal,
about Muhammad ibn Abi Atiq, about Ibn Shihab,
about Abi Salamah ibn Abd al-Rahman, that
Abu al-Raddad al-Laythi told him about
Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf, that he heard
the Messenger of Allah say, Allah, the Almighty,
said, I am the Merciful, and I created
the Merciful, wa ishtaqtulaha min asmi, faman wasalaha
wasaltuh, waman qata'aha batattuh.
Hadith number 53, Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf
heard the Messenger of Allah, salallahu alayhi wa
sallam, say, Allah, the Almighty and Exalted, said,
I am the Merciful, al-Rahman, I have
created ties of kinship, falaqtul rahim, I have
created the womb, I have created ties of
kinship, the womb refers to ties of kinship
or kinship, but al-Rahim, the womb, I
created the womb, and derived a name for
it from my name, or the womb from
my name, al-Rahim al-Rahman, they both
come from the three letters rah, ha, meem,
indicating mercy.
If anyone maintains ties of kinship, I maintain
connection with him, and I shall cut off
anyone who cuts them off.
faman wasalaha wasaltuh, waman qata'aha batattuh.
So someone may say, how did Allah derive
a name for al-Rahim from his name
al-Rahman, and what is the significance of
this, what are the indications of this, al
-Rahim from al-Rahman, and is the name
of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala eternal, and
al-Rahim came to existence at one point,
and is this derivation only in Arabic, and
why would it be only in Arabic, and
what about the other languages, and things of
that nature.
Well, that derivation seems to be in Arabic,
because in other languages, the womb is not
necessarily named after al-Rahman, or is not
derived from al-Rahman.
But that is fine.
So Allah inspired, you know, how did languages
evolve, how did languages evolve, we've talked about
this briefly in the question and answer session
last time, but you have, you know, in
the philosophical literature, according to linguists, you have
two main theories, you have the continuity theory,
and you have the discontinuity theory.
Continuity theory is that language evolved just like
everything else evolved, these are people that are
coming from a secular paradigm, so they think
that we evolved from monkeys, and you know,
from the unicell, and so on.
So the people who are coming from this
paradigm, the people who believe in evolution in
that sense, and we don't reject evolution completely,
but at the same time, we don't accept
evolution, particularly when it comes to human beings,
and the children of Adam, that we have
our own paradigm, and we have our own
certainties, but the idea that things could develop
and so on, some of the concepts of
evolution don't need to be rejected, but certainly
we were created from Adam, Adam was created
from clay, and Allah created Adam himself by
his hands, and these are certainties that we
have from the Qur'an, and from the
Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
Anyway, so the people who come from this
evolutionary paradigm, they have to think of it
within their paradigm, within their worldview, so when
they think about the development of language, and
the evolution of language, they feel that it
is a continuous process, but then they get
confronted by the fact that we don't have
any, those basically intermediate connections,
intermediaries, we don't have them, like how about
monkeys?
They don't have a language that is anywhere
close to us, they don't converse in a
language this close, they may have their own
language, Allah told us that the ants speak
and so on and so forth, but it
is nowhere near our language, so because of
this, and certainly those people don't believe that
ants speak, we believe that, but they don't,
so because of this they have to come
up with discontinuity theory, it's like the whole
theory of evolution is fraught with difficulties, challenges
to prove it, so they have to come
up with a discontinuity theory, and we said
that the champion of the discontinuity theory is
Chomsky, but there are many others, many other
linguists, who adopted this discontinuity theory, they feel
that this is something that happened to human
beings at some point, and rather suddenly, and
you bring any human baby from any ethnic
background, from any racial background, and you place
them in a different community, they grow up
speaking the language of that community, so if
it is really a matter of evolution, and
it's something that developed biologically over millennia, and
hundreds of thousands of years, so the people
who use the evolution argument all the time,
their basically quickest response is billions of years,
so once they stretch it, that stretching should
supposedly answer all the contentions, against their theories,
so it happened over billions of years, but
anyway, so if it evolved, then how come
you just get any baby from anywhere in
the world, and you put them in a
community, they grow up in that community, they
speak the language of those people, so the
people who believe in the discontinuity theory, they
believe that this happened all of a sudden,
to humanity at some point, now, we would
sympathize more with the discontinuity theory, because we
believe that this happened at some point, but
this point is when Allah created Adam, وَعَلَّمَ
أَدَمَ الْأَسْمَاءَ كُلَّهَا and he taught Adam all
the names, and so وَعَلَّمَ أَدَمَ الْأَسْمَاءَ كُلَّهَا
that is why, you know, some of the
Muslim scholars believe that, many of the Muslim
scholars believe that language is توقيف, that language
is given by God to humanity, language is
given by God by humanity, all of the
Muslim scholars believe that the faculty is given
by God, the faculty, the preparedness, the potential,
you know, the capacity to speak, all of
that is given by God, no one is
arguing about this, but language itself, has it
been given by God, or is it توقيف
in the sense of God given at some
point, or استلاحي, it developed over time, people
developed it, yes God gave humanity the power,
the potential to speak, or the capacity to
speak, but they developed their languages over time,
so these are two different theories, one of
the theories is the theory of توقيف, and
we said that most of the Muslim scholars
belong to this theory, but even within this
theory, there are two branches, one of them
is التلقين and one of them is الإلهام,
تلقين is that direct instruction by God, and
الإلهام is inspiration, and Imam Tamim chose the
inspiration theory, that God inspired humanity, so yes,
the capacity, the potential, this inner capacity, is
given by God to humanity, and then God
inspired humanity to speak different languages, so when
God inspired the Arabs to speak Arabic, he
inspired them to refer to the womb, he
inspired them, that's how he derived a name
for the womb, from his name الرحمان, when
God inspired the Arabs to speak Arabic, he
chose for the رحم, he inspired them with
that name for the رحم, that is derived
from his name الرحمان, so this etymological
basis for the name of
الرحم, does it have any other significance, does
it have any ontological significance, it does have
a lot of ontological significance, basically Allah wants
to say, that his names are not simply
abstract, detached qualities, that his names are reflected
in the realities of this universe, in the
universal realities, all of his names, all of
the names of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
are reflected in the realities of this universe,
you see the idea that we talked about
yesterday in the khutbah, that Isa, بُعِثَ مُسَىٰ
بِالْجَلَالِ وَعِيسَ بِالْجَمَالِ the statement of Imam Taymiyyah
where he said, that Isa, Musa was commissioned
with a message of majesty and rigor, and
Isa was commissioned with a message of beauty,
جَمَال, وَمْبُعِثَ مُحَمَّد صلى الله عليه وسلم بِالْكَمَالِ
and Muhammad was commissioned with a message of
perfection, that ultimate balance, that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala brought in the individual of the
Prophet ﷺ, نَبِيَّ الْمَرْحَمَةِ وَالْمَرْحَمَةِ the Nabi of
mercy and cataclysms, that ultimate balance that reflects
the highest expression of servitude to God, because
think about God, think about the names of
God, what are the names of God, that
are reflected in the realities around us, ontological,
they are not just abstract qualities, ontologically they
are reflected in the realities around us, there
is the beauty and the compassion, and then
there is the rigor and the majesty, there
is Al-Jabbar, Al-Aziz, Al-Muntaqim, and
there is the Ghafoor, the Wadood, the Rahim,
all of these names are names of God,
the Christians have a great difficulty with the
problem of evil, because they don't have this
conception of God, so if
God is all about mercy and compassion, how
come there is disease and there is war,
and there is kids having cancer, and dying
of cancer, and there is treachery, and there
is treason, and there are so many things
in this universe, there are earthquakes, there are
volcanoes, and also based on scientific facts, the
universe is moving towards great tribulations, based on
the second principle of thermodynamics, the Mawt al
Harari is coming at some point, where there
will be chaos in the universe, and great
tribulations, and cataclysms, and all of these things,
so how can you come to terms with
this, unless you have that conception of God,
with all of the names and attributes of
God, ultimately we believe that His mercy supersedes
all the other qualities, so His mercy will
supersede, and thus supersede, but are these also
qualities of God, that are reflected in the
reality, yes they are, so now Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala, knowing that His names are
not simply abstract qualities, knowing that His names
are reflected in the reality, knowing that His
names have an impact on the moral directives,
and the moral imperatives, He is making this
connection between His names, and those moral imperatives,
so He is making a connection between His
name Ar-Rahman, and Ar-Rahim, and the
maintaining of kinship, Silat Ar-Rahim, and it
is a clear connection, and He is giving
the Rahim, because if you look at the
Rahim, it is about nurturing, it is about
protection, it is about the miraculous quality of
life giving, so if you think of Ar
-Rahim, and this is something that women have
been favored with over men, if you think,
this idea that like an angel descends in
their womb, at some point, to breathe a
soul, like to bring life to a clot
of blood, is such a magnificent idea, so
Ar-Rahim is the place of nurture, the
place of protection, and the giving of life,
and all of these are reflections of the
name Ar-Rahman, all of these are reflections
of the mercy of God, like if you
think of a place that symbolizes, reflects, symbolizes
more, the concept of mercy, and the attribute
of divine mercy, you can't think of any
other place more than Ar-Rahim, more than
the womb, you know, all the NICUs that
they have, the neonatal ICUs that they have,
you look at, you know, you look at
all the machines, and the gadgets, and you
know, the facilities that they have in those
NICUs, you could literally spend tens of millions
of dollars on these places, and the best
NICU in the world is the womb, everybody
recognizes this, everybody recognizes that a few more
hours inside the womb, is worth, you know,
the whole world for the baby, a few
more days, people, you know, strive to keep
the baby for a few more days, the
baby is coming out to this, like, 500
million dollar facility, but everybody wants, fights to
keep them inside the womb for a couple
more days, so just think about this, and
you will appreciate, you know, think about the
womb in this sense, you will appreciate this
etymological root, you will appreciate this ontological connection
between the quality of mercy and the womb,
and everything that is based on, you know,
the womb connections, the kinship itself, the concept
of relatives, and kin, and so on, all
of these are branches from that concept, and
what the womb means, so this is a
very powerful hadith, I am the merciful, I
have created the womb, and derived the name
for it from my name, so think about
it etymologically, think about it ontologically, think about
the moral imperative also, how this is, how
this makes me a lot more powerful, so
when you connect, when you connect, or when
you join your kin, you are actually reflecting
a divine attribute, and you are reflecting one
of the greatest attributes, you are reflecting in
your behavior, in your action, you are reflecting
this divine attribute of mercy that God chose
as the attribute that will supersede all others,
you know, my mercy encompasses all things, my
mercy will always supersede my anger, so this
attribute, this dominant attribute of God, you are
participating in this, you are reflecting that attribute
every time you are joining your being kind
to, or you are joining your kin, or
your relatives.
Next, Imam Bukhari says, meaning
that it can accept three different forms of
pronunciation, both
are okay.
So he said, this is hadith 54 now,
so Abu'l-Anbis said, I visited Abdullah
ibn Amr ibn al-'As, radiyallahu anhu, at al
-Wahd, some land of his in al-Ta
'if, he said, the Prophet ﷺ bent his
finger for us and said, kinship, or ar
-Rahim, is connected to the all-merciful, ar
-Rahman, whoever maintains its connections, Allah maintains connection
with him, if someone cuts them off, Allah
cuts him off, it will have an eloquent
untethered tongue on the day of resurrection, an
eloquent untethered tongue on the day of resurrection,
and as we said before, is to have
a flexible understanding of these things, a flexible
understanding of what these things, we believe it,
we affirm it, as it came to us
from Allah and his messenger, but we have
a flexible understanding, because the language itself is
so flexible, as we have explained before, and
I'm not going to go over it one
more time, but we've gone over it enough,
so just believe that ar-Rahim will come
and speak, and tell Allah in front of
you on the day of judgment, that is
basically the ties of kinship, your relationship with
your parents, your relationship with your sisters and
brothers, your relationship with your kids and grandkids,
your relationship with your aunts and uncles, those
relationships will be personified based on this hadith,
and they will speak, and they will complain
to you, or they will basically commend you
on what you have done on the day
of judgment, and also the Prophet ﷺ repeats
here, ar-Rahim shujanatun min ar-Rahman, you
know shujanah?
What's the shujanah?
Shujanah is the intertwined roots or branches of
a tree, intertwined roots or branches of a
tree, so ar-Rahim is connected to ar
-Rahman, like the connection, like the roots or
the branches of a tree are intertwined, ar
-Rahim shujanatun min ar-Rahman, so ar-Rahim
is connected to ar-Rahman, then Imam Bukhari
says, hadathna Ismail qala hadathni Sulaiman an mu
'awiyah ibn Abi Muzarrid, an Yazid ibn Ruman,
an Urwat ibn al-Zubair, an Aisha radiyallahu
anha, an al-Nabiya ﷺ qal, ar-Rahim
shujanatun, shujanatun, shujanatun, min Allah, man wasalahu Allah,
wa man qata'aha qata'ahu Allah.
That's hadith 55, Aisha reported that the Prophet
ﷺ said, kinship ar-Rahim is connected to
Allah, if anyone maintains ties of kinship, Allah
maintains ties with him, if anyone cuts them
off, Allah cuts him off.
You know, how impactful is this?
How serious is this?
You know, this could make anyone who cuts
off his relatives, you know, just shiver, like
collapse to hear this.
Anyway, the next chapter is, maintaining ties of
kinship prolongs life.
باب صلة الرحم تزيد في العمر باب صلة
الرحم تزيد في العمر He says, حدثنا عبدالله
بن صالح that Imam al-Waqari says, حدثنا
عبدالله بن صالح عبدالله بن صالح is Katib
al-Layth, is the scribe of al-Layth.
We've talked about Abdullah bin Salih before.
But we said, you know, his hadith are
acceptable.
حدثنا عبدالله بن صالح قال حدثني الليث That's
al-Layth ibn Sa'd.
قال حدثني عقيل عن ابن شهاب قال أغبرني
أنس بن مالك أن رسول الله صلى الله
عليه وسلم قال من أحب أن يبسط له
في رزقه وأن ينسى له في أثره فليصل
رحمه This hadith 56, أنس بن مالك reported
that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه
وسلم said, anyone who likes to have his
provision expanded and his term of life prolonged
should maintain ties of kinship.
The next hadith has the same meaning, so
I'll read it as well.
And then we will go over this meaning.
حدثنا إبراهيم بن المنذر قال حدثنا محمد بن
معنى الغفاري قال حدثني أبي عن سعيد بن
أبي سعيد المقبوري عن أبي هريرة قال سمعت
رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول من
سره أن يبسط له في رزقه وأن ينسى
له في أثره فليصل رحمه حديث 57 أبو
هريرة heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله
عليه وسلم say anyone who would be pleased
to have his provision expanded and his term
of life lengthened or prolonged should maintain ties
of kinship So, what does this mean?
We've talked about this briefly before.
And I gave you sort of the orthodox
interpretation of this.
Isn't your lifespan predetermined?
What would this mean?
To have your lifespan prolonged.
Isn't it predetermined?
Yes.
So, how do you extend it?
Like when you join your kin, how do
you extend it?
بركة So, that's one of the explanations.
One of the explanations is it will be
prolonged.
So, you have different decrees and you have
the annual decrees and you have the weekly
decrees and you have the daily decrees and
you have the لوح المحفوظ the preserved tablet
the preserved tablet and the preserved tablet does
not change but the intermediate decrees change but
if the preserved tablet does not change it's
still all predetermined.
Right?
It's سبب That's a good answer but eventually
eventually you're not going to be able So,
these are the two orthodox explanations of this.
One explanation is it's literal, it's حقيقي it
will be prolonged and keep in mind that
division of literal حقيقي is not like the
division between متكلمين and أثاري on the divine
attributes So, it doesn't follow the same line
of separation So, whether متكلم or أثاري some
of them will say it's حقيقي and the
decrees are different and some of the decrees
are So, you know, I'm just telling you
that this is not separated along the same
lines.
This is a different discussion.
So, in this different discussion some of the
scholars will say it is حقيقي and some
of the scholars will say it's about the
بركة and the blessing So, someone's life could
be 40 years but their accomplishments and their
legacy and so on is worth 400 years
of someone else's life.
But the question that may arise and I
don't intend to proclamatize this for you if
you are happy if you are comfortable just
stay where you are and be as happy
as you can be but for people who
have who are more curious and they still
have difficulties I want to say a few
things to you One, there is no problem
if you can't wrap your head around certain
concepts You just need to understand this Even
if you're atheist there are so many mysteries
in this universe that you can't wrap your
head around The biggest mystery for an atheist
is where did this all come from?
So, nobody in this world would wrap his
head around all the realities that are known
to God You know, all the realities that
are known to God You are not going
to be able to wrap your head around
them In particular the concept of qadr or
predetermination This is one of the hardest things
to wrap your head around So, if you
say it's about the barakah Isn't the barakah
itself a predetermined?
Isn't it predetermined that your life will be
mubarak, blessed or not blessed whatever accomplishments you
will have So, the scholars who ran away
to this interpretation from the hardcore extension of
life eventually that didn't solve the problem That
also is predetermined So, what is the how
do you have how do you come to
terms with the hadith what this hadith means
based on these two interpretations it's very hard
to come to terms with the meaning of
this hadith The prophet s.a.w. is
saying anyone who likes to have his provision
expanded and his term of life prolonged should
maintain ties of kinship So, the prophet is
telling us that joining your kin will prolong
your life Joining your kin will prolong your
life So, there are two other explanations There
are two other explanations One of them is
more consistent with the orthodox sunni view and
one of them is less consistent What are
those two other explanations?
One of the explanations is that you have
asbab and mawana The asbab basically are the
causes The mawana are the hindrances or impediments
hindrances or impediments impediments or hindrances asbab and
mawana and for everything there are multiple asbab
multiple mawana multiple asbab and multiple mawana Joining
the ties of kinship is one of the
asbab of prolonging your life one of the
asbab However, there are 173 asbab and there
are 180 mawana or whatever it is The
culmination of this and this will determine your
life and it has been determined It has
been determined It's the culmination of this and
this So, what the hadith is saying is
that salat al rahm is one of the
asbab of a prolonged life This interpretation would
not be offensive to sunni orthodoxy This interpretation
is not offensive to sunni orthodoxy but it's
still it's still not saying that you could
actually make everything still predetermined Now, the other
explanation that I want to keep it out
there it's not very consistent with sunni orthodoxy
but we want to keep it out there
for people who may not be able to
come to terms with the concept of predetermination
as in one track that there is only
one door that you can open and one
path that you can walk and you are
walking on this path to meet your destiny
Now, there are certain things that we have
to maintain to be muslim just to be
muslim One of them is kamal al ilm
wal qudrah that is the omnipotence and the
omniscience of God that God is omnipotent omniscient
all-knowing, all-powerful all-capable You compromise
those you are not muslim So, watch out
Within that framework that God is omnipotent, omniscient
some people may say may say that it
is not one track it's not one door
and it's not one track it's infinite doors
infinite doors infinite tracks and every time you
do an action you are opening one of
those doors walking down this track all of
them all of them those infinite doors and
tracks are contained within these sort of conditions
the omnipotence the omniscience of God so all
of this is happening you have infinite number
of doors infinite tracks you could say millions
if the word infinite bothers you or you
can't wrap your head around it but every
time you are confronted with options there are
different doors that you are opening now, are
you doing this?
are you doing this?
outside of God's control and power no, you
are not so everything is contained within the
knowledge of God everything is contained within the
power of God but you are actually opening
the doors different doors and there are different
doors that you could open you could knock
on and open and then different tracks that
you can walk on so what does that
mean?
it means that the relationship between divine decree
and human agency is dynamic, not static is
dynamic and not static could this be related
anyway to the perpetual creativity or perpetual agency
of God that many atharees would believe in
perpetual creativity, perpetual agency of God yes it
could somehow be related to that now, I
am just giving you this this is an
explanation that's a little bit problematic within the
orthodox framework but it is an explanation that
if you are able to if you are
able to come to terms with because it
is very hard for us what do you
mean infinite tracks and what do you mean
all of this are within the knowledge of
God and the power of God because you
don't really know God and you don't know
what it means when we say all-knowing
all-powerful it is still within the power
of God it is
still within the power of God to offer
you those infinite options infinite doors to open
infinite tracks to walk on it is still
within the power of God to afford you
this without it being out of His control
and that you know so we didn't go
all the way Mu'tazili here by the way
this is this will have to this is
trying to be respectful of what it means
to be a Muslim to believe in the
omniscience and the omnipotence of God and to
leave room for people to understand this hadith
in a more ontologically real sense that you
are actually participating here the human agency the
idea here is the concept of human agency
is do human beings have a will and
is their will consequential that's a theological discussion
that we can basically address at some other
point but in this particular paradigm that human
will and human agency is dynamically participating still
within the control of God within the framework
of the Lord, God who is all powerful
all capable but it's actually operative it's actually
consequential it's actually effective ok Insha
'Allah we will go over a lot of
questions and answers but let's just finish some
of these hadiths so chapter number 29 Allah
loves the one who maintains ties of kinship
Imam Bukhari said Hadith Hadith
number 58 Ibn Umar said if someone fears
his Lord and maintains ties of kinship his
term of life will be prolonged he will
have abundant wealth and his people will love
him and his people will love him ah
I just wanted to say before I move
on I did not want you to abandon
the orthodox interpretation and take that interpretation.
I'm just opening a door for people who
may find comfort in this interpretation.
I am myself holding on to the Orthodox
interpretation.
So when I teach theology or creed, I
will hold on to the Orthodox, but keeping
the possibility
of something being out there that we can't
completely comprehend, that we haven't really wrapped our
heads around, that we haven't really provided the
final answer for, is not a bad idea.
To say that there is something there that
could be beyond our comprehension that we have
not provided yet a perfect answer for, and
we will come to know it on the
Day of Judgment, when Allah basically releases all
the files.
So this hadith 58, Ibn Umar said that
if someone fears his Lord and maintains ties
of kinship, his term of life will be
prolonged, he will have abundant wealth, and his
people will love him, his family will love
him.
And certainly, you know, this is important because
we keep on talking about, you know, man
arda Allaha bi sakhatin minal nas, radiyallahu anhu,
arda al nasa anhu, man arda al nasa
bi sakhatin minallah, sakhita allahu alayhi, wa asqata
al nasa alayhi.
So this concept that if you please Allah,
even at the displeasure of people, Allah will
be pleased with you and will make the
people eventually pleased with you.
And if you displease Allah to please the
people, Allah will become displeased with you, and
He will eventually cause the people to be
displeased with you.
Does that mean that people's pleasure is not
something a believer should be after?
No, it doesn't mean that.
It only means that you don't forsake Allah's
pleasure for the people's pleasure.
But people's pleasure is something that you should
be after.
A believer, you know, the best of us
are al-muwatta'una al-hasaynakum al-akhlaqan,
al-muwatta'una aknafa, alladhina ya'alafuna wa
ya'alafun.
Those who are al-hasaynakum al-akhlaqan, the
best in morals and manners, al-muwatta'una
aknafa, those who are humble, al-ladhina ya
'alafuna wa ya'alafun.
Those who are easy to befriend, ya'alafun,
they befriend people easily, wa ya'alafun, people
find them easy to befriend.
So, those are people that are, that care
about people's acceptance.
Waj'al li lisana sidqin fil-akhireen.
Ibrahim said, grant me a good mention among
the later generations.
He cared about our thoughts of him.
Al-akhireen, we are al-akhireen.
Ibrahim alayhi as-salam cared about our thoughts
of him.
So, Ibrahim, the Khalil ar-Rahman, why should
you care about us?
I mean, Allah loves you.
Why should you care about, wa ya'al
li lisana sidqin fil-akhireen?
No, a believer by nature likes to be
accepted and likes people to have good thoughts
of him.
Wa tilka ajil wa bishra al-mu'min.
You know, this is a different discussion, but
we talked about shirk fil-niyyah and tashreeq
and so on.
But if someone does a good thing and
then he gets praised by the people, or
commended, or encouraged, or, you know, by the
people, and feels good about it, feels good
about it, they should not basically blame themselves
for hypocrisy.
They should not blame themselves for mixed intentions.
You know, la yashkur Allah min la yashkur
nas.
Last time when we ended our, like, when
we ended, you know, our previous sessions, and
you guys collected money, and you purchased wells
in Africa, and stuff like this, as a
token of appreciation.
Did I feel good about this?
Or did this make a difference?
Of course.
Like, is this a sign of hypocrisy?
No, because I didn't expect this.
And when you did it, and you purchased
those wells in Africa, and in my name,
zakum ba khayran, it made a difference, and
it made me happy.
Should I be concerned about myself?
No, that's absolutely fine.
Wa tilka ajil wa bishra al-mu'min.
These are glad tidings being hastened to the
believer in life.
So because you are good people, and you
have done it for a good cause, then
it shouldn't make me concerned.
You know, the fact that it made me
happy that you did this, could not make
me concerned or worried about my intentions, and
about my sincerity.
I should be always worried about my sincerity
intentions, of course.
But this particular thing, you know, being pleased
by you doing this, should not be a
source of concern, should not be a source
of concern.
So to want to be liked, to want
to be loved, to want to be accepted,
is not, is not a compromise of sincerity.
It does not compromise your sincerity at all,
as long as, as long as none of
this will make you displease your Lord.
None of this will negatively impact your relationship
with your Lord.
So your ultimate goal, and that you don't
sacrifice for anything else, is the pleasure of
your Lord.
And once that is the case, then to
have a good mention among the other generations,
or they like to be liked, or accepted,
or celebrated, or etc., is completely fine.
So the Prophet ﷺ is hinting to this.
You know, if you want to be loved,
then you join your kin.
You join your kin, Allah ﷻ will be
pleased with you, you will have your life
prolonged, and his wealth will be abundant.
This is also another hint from the Prophet
ﷺ, that being rich is not a curse.
Being rich is a good thing.
You know, which means how great is good,
how good is good money for a good
person.
How magnificent is good money for a good
person.
If you, if you earn it from halal,
you spend it in halal, it's a blessing.
It is a blessing to earn it from
halal, and to spend it on that which
is halal.
So all of these are motivations.
مَنَ اتَّقَى رَبَّهُ وَصَلَى رَحِمَهُ وَنُسِيَ فِي أَجَلِهِ
وَثَرَى مَالُهُ وَأَحَبَّهُ أَهْلُهُ Whoever hears his Lord,
or whoever is mindful of his Lord all
the time, and joins his kin, his life
will be prolonged, his wealth will be abundant,
and his family will love him.
And that's, that's just happiness, right?
Yeah.
So next, the Prophet, the Imam Bukhari, رحمه
الله said, حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو نُعَيْم قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا يُنُسُ
ابْنِ أَبِي إِسْحَاق قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي مَغْرَاء أَبُو مُخَارِك
وَهُوَ لَهُوَ الْعَبْدِي قَالَ ابْنِ عُمَرِ مَنَ اتَّقَى
رَبَّهُ وَصَلَى رَحِمَهُ وَنُسِيَ لَهُ فِي عُمْرِهِ وَثَرَى
مَالُهُ وَأَحَبَّهُ أَهْلُهُ It's the same hadith.
Hadith 59, ابن عمر said, whoever has taqwa
of his lord and maintains ties of kinship,
his term of life will be prolonged, his
wealth will be abundant, and his family will
love him.
Chapter number 30, being dutiful to the closest
relative, and then next, and then the next.
بَابُ بِرِّ الْأَقْرَبِ فَالْأَقْرَبِ Imam Bukhari said, حَدَّثَنَا
حَيْوَةُ ابْنُ شُرَيْحِ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا بَقِيَّ عَنْ بَحِيرِ
عَنْ خَالِدِ بِالْمَعْدَانِ عَنِ الْمَقْدَامِ بِالْمَعْدِي كَرِبِ اَنَّهُ
سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَى اللَّهُ سَلَمَ يَقُولُ إِنَّ
اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ ثُمَّ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ ثُمَّ
يُوصِيكُمْ بِأَبَائِكُمْ ثُمَّ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالْأَقْرَبِ فَالْأَقْرَبِ Hadith
number 60, it's reported that Al-Maqdam, Ibn
Ma'adi Karib, heard the Messenger of Allah
ﷺ say, Allah ﷻ enjoins you to be
beautiful to your mothers, then Allah ﷻ enjoins
you to be beautiful to your mothers.
And so in one report, he's repeated it
three times.
Like in the other reports, you know, but
in most of the reports twice of this
hadith, twice Allah ﷻ enjoins you to be
beautiful to your mothers.
Then Allah ﷻ enjoins you to be beautiful
to your mothers, then he enjoins you to
be beautiful to your fathers, then he enjoins
you to be beautiful to your next closest
relative, and then to your next closest relative.
So that is in the case of conflict.
But otherwise you want to be beautiful to
all of them, but which ones are you
going to prioritize?
Are you going to favor this order that
we've talked about before?
We've talked about ummak wa'abak, wa'ukhtak
wa'akhaak, thumma mawlaaka allathee yareedhaak.
So your mother, and then your father, and
your brother, and your sister, and then your
brother, and then the closest of kin, and
then the closest of kin.
That order favors women over men, or sila.
But we said before, for obedience, the scholars,
the vast majority of scholars, they favor fathers
over mothers, in terms of obedience.
As long as this obedience is not about
their care, their welfare.
If it is about you, your father tells
you no.
Like your father gives you like a command,
it's about you, it's not about him or
her.
Like your mother tells you, take me to
the doctor.
Your father tells you, take me to the
airport, or vice versa.
You will, and there is a conflict in
timing.
Then what you will say is, you'll go
to your father and tell him, my mother
had asked for me to be with her
during this time.
Would you please allow me?
And then you favor your mother.
This is, these are two commands.
It's about obedience here.
But this obedience has to do with your
parents' welfare, and your care for them.
In this case, you will favor the mother.
But if they give you two commands that
are not about their own well-being, or
you know, they're about you, which one you'll
favor?
The command of your father.
Clear?
Okay, that's easy.
So if there is a conflict, then you
will have to use this order.
And the order is mother, father, and when
it comes to caring for them, mother, father,
sister, brother, and then the closest of kin.
Favoring in this way, using pias, using analogy,
in this way, you favor your aunt or
your uncle?
Aunt.
Yeah, no, no, no, guys.
I'm just, I'm talking about the aunt and
the uncle, the aunt versus the uncle here.
Between the aunts, you know, if you want
to favor the maternal aunt, that is fine.
But more importantly, it's aunt over uncle.
Aunt over uncle.
Now, is the maternal aunt closer than the
paternal aunt?
Based on what?
Entitlement, you know, the Prophet ﷺ said, "...
and entitlement to custody."
So, but this is a controversial issue.
But at least according to the Hanbalis and
the majority, the maternal aunt is more entitled
to custody than the paternal aunt.
Like, if there is a dispute over the
custody of a child, the maternal aunt is
favored over the paternal aunt.
All right.
So, that's the reason they are considered closer
in this sense.
So, al-Aqrab for al-Aqrab.
Then, the next hadith.
So, hadith number 61, Abu Ayyub, the
mawla of Uthman ibn Affan said, Abu Huraira
came to us on a Thursday evening.
So, the eve of Friday and said, every
individual who severs ties of kinship, I emphatically
urge you, I emphatically plead to you, urge
you to leave us, to leave our company.
No one left until he had said that
three times.
Then a young man went to one of
his paternal aunts with whom he had severed
ties two years earlier or previously.
He went to her and she asked him,
my nephew, what brings you now?
He replied, I heard Abu Huraira say such
and such.
She said, go back to him and ask
him why he said that.
And then Abu Huraira said, the actions of
the children of Adam are presented before Allah
Almighty on Thursday evening, the eve of Jum
'ah.
He does not accept the actions of someone
who has severed the ties of kinship.
He doesn't accept the actions of someone who
severs.
This hadith is repeated, this concept is repeated
quite often.
You know, Laylat al-Nusf min Sha'ban,
for instance.
So, in the night of the middle of
Sha'ban, the deeds will be erased and
everybody will be forgiven except the Mushrik, the
one who ascribes partners to Allah, or Mushahin,
the disputant one that had severed ties of
kinship and so on.
And some of the reports said Qata' as
well, the one who severs the ties of
kinship.
So, this concept is often repeated, is often
repeated.
Now, there is something that we want to
say here.
So, why is he asking him, why is
he asking him to leave?
Because in the following chapter, the following chapter
says, So, I will read this hadith from
the following chapter.
Hadith 63, Abdullah ibn A'udh reported that
the Prophet ﷺ said, mercy does not descend
on a people when there is someone among
them who severs ties of kinship, when there
is someone among them who is Qata' or
who severs ties of kinship.
Now, so, now we're sitting together here.
One of you maybe, may have severed ties
of kinship.
Is Rahman not descending on us?
And what's our fault?
So, here is the issue, you know.
Why did Sufiyan ibn U'ayyina say, The
hadith is a maze that you can get
lost in, except if you are a faqih.
Because you will have to know so much
about transmission and so much about, you know,
implications and you'll have to reconcile between different
hadith.
You'll have to know about the other hadith
and you have to have some anchorage to
guide you in understanding the hadith.
And the Qur'anic worldview, there is a
Qur'anic principle, which is, that no carrier
of a burden will be required to carry
the burden of another soul.
No soul will be required to carry the
burden of another soul.
Individual accountability, the principle of individual accountability.
What is our fault if one of you
guys had severed ties of kinship?
You know, sometimes you could live with family
inside the same home and one of them,
your spouse, could have, you know, could be
guilty of this.
Does it mean that your home is condemned?
Like, you know, it would mean that if
you're not, if you're not doing your part.
If you don't remind your spouse to join
the ties of kinship, you could be responsible.
If we are not, if we're not joining
each other to joining the ties of kinship
and forbidding one another from cutting off the
ties of kinship, we're all condemned.
The rahmah will not descend on the entire
community that does not, basically, the entire gathering,
the entire community, the entire group that is
accepting, is tolerating such misbehavior or such sinful
behavior, such sinful behavior.
So that is, then we would have understood
the hadith within that Qur'anic paradigm.
Without compromising the Qur'anic principle of individual
accountability, no soul will be asked or required
to, no soul will be required to carry
the burden of another soul.
The last hadith that we will end with,
we will go back one hadith because I
skipped to chapter 31 because it is related.
Let's go back to hadith number 62.
This is a very weak narrator, by the
way.
Both can be fine.
Hadith number 62, Ibn Umar said, nothing that
a man spends on himself and his family
anticipating a reward from Allah will fail to
be rewarded by Allah, the Almighty.
He should begin with those whose support is
his responsibility.
If there is something left, he should spend
it on his next nearest relative.
And then the next nearest, if there is
still something left, he can give it away.
He can give it away, like hand it
to somebody, you know, if you still want
to give it away.
And this hadith, as we said, he's a
very weak narrator.
So this chain is not an authentic chain.
This is a life chain.
Is this hadith, is this content solid?
All solid, all corroborated, all solid, all corroborated.
So you take all this content without hesitation.
It's all solid, it's all corroborated by other
reports.
What is there in this hadith?
The hadith is pointing out the reward that
you get by spending on your own family.
You know, the Imam Ahmad was once asked
about Bishr al-Hafi and the ibadah of
Bishr al-Hafi.
And he said, the crying of a child,
you know, the crying of a child to
his father is equal to the ibadah of
Bishr al-Hafi.
Bishr al-Hafi did not get married and
did not have children.
Sometimes they say this, these exaggerated statements to
score a point, like it's the or underscore
a point.
It is not, you know, don't take it
literally, don't take it literally.
But your jihad, your kifah to support your
family is not going to waste.
Because oftentimes people think this way, that had
I not had, you know, this family, I
would have been able to do this and
accomplish that.
I would have been able to have more
time.
I would have been able to, you know,
these thoughts come to people.
And the Prophet ﷺ is telling you that
the best sadaqah, best sadaqah to give is
the sadaqah that you put like a morsel,
you put in the mouth of your wife.
Your child and so on.
Like a bite of food that you put
in the mouth of your wife, your child
and so on.
So this is the best sadaqah.
And Imam Ahmad was trying to say that
Bishr al-Hafi, because he's unmarried, he was
able to devote himself to worship, was able
to devote himself to zahada and ibadah and
so on.
But when your child holds on to you
and cries, اشتري لي حلوة من السوق My
dad, get me candy.
And you go out and you bring them
candy.
Imam Ahmad was saying, you get more reward
doing this than the ibadah of Bishr.
Because if you don't, then what is the
incentive?
What's the motivation then?
Like, why don't we just all, and if
we all abandoned that style of living, that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala chose for humanity,
including the best of them, the messengers.
وَجْعَلْنَا لَهُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَذُرِّيًّا And we gave them,
you know, wives and children.
And made them, you know, family men.
These are the messengers and the prophets.
This is the system of life that Allah
chose for humanity, including the best of humanity.
If we don't have a motivation, you know,
and all we care about is our own
accomplishment, whether it is your professional accomplishment, or
طلب العلم or this or that, then people
will be disincentivized.
And this will destroy the structure, you know,
the family institution structure, the communal structure as
well.
So Allah is promising us that whatever it
is that we do for our families, this
will get the greatest reward.
This is the best thing that we can
do.
And then the prophet says, In some reports,
start with yourself.
This is extremely important.
You'd have to take care of yourself.
You have to be concerned about your well
-being, have to take care about your sort
of physical and mental well-being.
Because if you can't, if you yourself collapse,
you're not going to be good for anybody.
Neither yourself nor anybody else.
So that's why the prophet, صلى الله عليه
وسلم, said ابدا بنفسه.
This means what?
You put on your mask first.
Put on your mask first.
Because if you don't have your mask on,
you know, and you pass out, your kid
next to you, there will be no one
to put the mask on them.
Put your mask on first.
Then you start with the next one.
And then the closest and then the closest.
And so this hadith is a solid hadith
in terms of its content.
قُلُوا قَوْلِي هَذَا أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهِ لِيَارَكُمْ سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ
وَعَنْدَكَ شَيْءًا أَنْتَ أَسْتَغْفِرُهُ لَيْكَ