Hatem al-Haj – ADB008 Al-Adab Al-Mufrad – The Book of Dutifulness to Parents
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
To proceed.
So we're we're going, over Al Adab al
Mufrad by Imam al Bukhari, And
we,
are still
in, you know, Imam al Bukhari did not
divide
the book,
into
did not divide the book into
different books, like, you know, the the the
separation
the the usual
the division in, Islamic books are they usually
divide the book into books,
because sizable chapters, they would call them books.
And then under the books, there would be
chapters.
So,
the BAB
would be translated as chapter,
and then, you know, the under the BAB,
there would be fusul,
different sections after the under the chapter, but
the different web are under a book. So
they would call a at a sizable chapter
a book. He did not divide his book
into
different books.
It's all web,
And as we said, it's about 1322
hadith and 644
abweb.
Every bab is about 1 or 2 hadith.
So it's a lot of abweb,
a lot of chapters.
But
you could basically,
you could combine
several
under one book.
So
if if you want to give
these,
if we want the to give them, like,
an umbrella,
title. This would be Kitab
Birel Walidayn
or the book on Birel Walidayn. But remember,
Bukhari did not do this. So we're still
talking about the the abwab of Birel Walidayn,
the different chapters on
Birelwaddayin,
which would mean beautifulness to parents,
or beautifulness,
towards parents.
Last time we went over
remember the last,
chapter? That was chapter number 18,
or offering Islam to a Christian
mother.
And we did talk about, you know, Abu
Huraira saying that whenever who a Jew or
Christian, no Jew or Christian would hear of
me and, and my mother and not love
and not love us.
And we talked about,
you know, the fact that
he he said sometimes,
it this was reported as a Jew or
Christian. Sometimes it was reported as Mu'min.
I
would personally think it would be a Mu'min.
No believer
would hear of me and my mother and
not love us.
But anyway, we've had this discussion last time.
So
now we're we will go over chapter number
19,
beautifulness towards parents after their death. So
the Imam al Bukhari wanted to say that
death does not stop after the death of
your parents. You still need to be dutiful
to your parents
after,
their death. And then he would mention a
few hadith about things that you can do,
to maintain your dutfulness to parents
after,
death. The first hadith,
So Abu Asid or Abu Sayed said,
we were with the messenger of Allah sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam when a man asked,
messenger of Allah, is there any act of
dutifulness that I can do for my parents
after their death?
He replied, yes. There are 4 things.
Four things, the prophet
said.
Supplication for them,
asking
forgiveness for them.
Why did I not
point with the other finger? Because he didn't
count asking for forgiveness as the second. So
he said supplication,
asking for forgiveness.
He considered it to be under supplication because
Istarfar asking for forgiveness is a supplication.
But he wanted
to stress
the importance of Istarfar, asking for forgiveness.
So
out of your dua,
I particularly
stress
the importance
of seeking forgiveness for them,
So,
supplication for them, asking for forgiveness,
fulfilling their pledges,
or executing their will,
fulfilling their pledges or executing their will,
being generous
to their friends,
and
maintaining
the ties
of kinship,
maintaining the ties of kinship,
that you only have because of them.
Maintaining the ties of kinship that you only
have because of them.
So these are 4,
things.
Do you need us to write them to
remember them? Because you really need to remember
them. You have the Aladab al Mufrad anyway.
Let me add to these
three more
things that are also agreed upon by the
scholars.
One of them
is Ibrau Demetihima,
clearing
their Demetihima, liabilities.
The second,
charity
on their behalf.
The third,
which is,
which is remarkable,
but,
you know and, you know, sometimes we tend
to omit it and forget it.
Didn't the prophet
say
the child is part of the earnings of
his father.
So that would apply to the father and
the mother, of course.
Okay.
So whatever it is that you do,
when
you get your act together and rectify your
affairs,
that would
count,
basically as
because you're
making their skills heavier
by your own success,
by your own salah,
your own piety.
Everything that you do
is
in in their escape.
You yourself would be put in their escape.
So everything that everything good that you do
will be placed in their escape.
So
to basically
get your hat together
to succeed,
this,
this is the the greatest thing that you
could do for them. And in all honesty,
that's what the parents want the most of
you.
Just, you know,
get your act together and succeed.
Be good,
and, you know, prosper. That's it.
So seven things.
Let's write them.
Because these are important, we should not forget
them.
It's application.
1,
and I'll put here 1b,
seeking forgiveness.
Okay. What's the second?
Executing their will or fulfilling
executing their will.
And this would include anything that
they recommend like, they they ask for.
What's the third?
Yeah.
Or or,
kindness to their friends in general.
What is the 4th?
So join,
for kindness to the relatives.
Ultimately, this is how you will translate it.
Kindness
to
your relatives
through them.
Okay. So these are the ones that were
mentioned in this hadith.
Now let us add
5 six
7.
What would be the 5th that we added?
Yeah.
Or did we okay. Did we start
well, first, clear their liabilities before you give
charity on their behalf.
They're clearing their liabilities,
and then
charity
on their
behalf.
And the last one is
your own righteousness,
your own success, your own prosperity
is the best thing that you could do
for them.
Your
own righteousness.
Okay.
Just try to remember those
because it you know?
If if you have any parents that have
passed away, that's what you need to do
for them.
So this this this hadith, you know,
the
the hadith,
has been considered Hassan
by several,
scholars.
Even though Shahid Al Bayr considered the Daif,
but the the hadith has been considered Hassan,
by scholars and has been considered established by
scholars.
But there is,
also, as as we said, that Imam al
Bukhari Bukhari himself.
You know? So no one no one would
be greater than than this when it comes
to hadith. We have to that this hadith
is appropriate for this subject matter,
and there is no controversy
over
the meanings of this hadith. There is no
controversy
over
any of these,
7. Not just the the 4 in the
hadith, but all 7. So
supplication
for them.
Seeking forgiveness for them.
Executing their will. You
know,
kindness to their friends.
Kindness to your relatives through them. And these
are the ones that are in the hadith.
Anything controversial here? None.
Clearing their liabilities
also
by agreement.
Charity on their behalf by agreement.
Your own righteousness,
you will be put in their scales.
So
the heavier you are,
the heavier their scales will be. So your
your weight will be decided by what?
So your the the weight of your scale
is decided by your good deeds because the
other side of the scale
is not yours. It's against you. It's not
for you. It's against you. So we're talking
only about this one side of the scale
where there are good deeds. The heavier this
side is,
the you'll be better off.
Your parents also
will,
get,
the benefit of this because you would be
put in there. All of the your all
of this side of this your scale will
be taken and put in,
their scale.
So
that's the the greatest thing the best thing
that you could you could do for them.
Next,
said,
That person would be raised a degree after
his death. He will say,
my lord, how is this? You know, he
died already, so he will he's he's getting
he's getting
basically promoted in his grave.
His degree is being raised and elevated.
And,
he says, my lord, how's this?
He would be told, your child asked, you
know,
ask for forgiveness for you.
And,
so this is the the stress the importance
of asking for forgiveness
and that the NBA used to do this.
Who said this?
Ibrahim.
Who said this?
And, you know, it's actually in Surat Ibrahim
and Surat Noor.
The first one is Surat Ibrahim, and second
one is Surat Noor.
Oh,
our lord.
Forgive me and my parents and the believers
on the day of resurrection.
That's Ibrahim saying this is Ibrahim and and
oh my lord,
forgive me
and my parents
and whoever enters my home in a state
of belief and for the believing men and
women
and forgive the believing men and women.
So
the asking for forgiveness for your parents all
the time. Just make this
a habit and use the Puranic
supplications.
They are the best supplications.
No one can give you a better supplication
than the Quran,
and the and the then the supplications of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
But the Quranic supplication, you know,
Such a beautiful supplication. Just keep repeating this.
In your prayer, make this a habit. Make
this a habit in your prayer. If your
parents have not passed away,
this would still count. This would still apply
because you're asking for forgiveness for yourself and
for your parents, whether they are alive or
not.
This is a dua that you should be
making routinely.
And then
you should also
feel it. You should
really say it
and and and feel it. Sometimes when you,
when you diversify your dua,
and
it's it's it's not coming out spontaneously. It's
it's basically coming out thoughtfully with thought. Like
you say one
time,
you
say or you say something else, but asking
for forgiveness
just to make sure that you are,
that
that you're mindful,
as you make the dua, the and you
know what you're what you're saying.
This particular hadith has
a,
like,
like, a few, like, a few interesting points
about the chain of this hadith
because it it says
This hadith is Hassan is a is a
Hassan hadith.
And you know where the Hasan is coming
from?
Because,
otherwise, Ahmed ibn Yunus is.
Abu Salih is.
Abu Hurayah is Sahabi.
The
is coming from Abu Bakr and,
and may
but but both, in fact, Abu Bakr and.
And this is something
rather interesting.
You know, I
well, you know, one of my my areas
of interest is apologetics because I do believe
that, you know,
there should be a discipline called apologetics where
people are trained to defend Islam, not to
apologize on behalf of Islam because that's not
what the apologetics
means. It means defense, defense of a doctrine,
systematic defense.
It's thoughtful, systematic
defense of doctrines and practices.
Anyway
but,
but this this,
this
chain pertains to the science of apologetics in
the sense of that. The weakness here in
this chain is coming from Abu Bakr and
Aasem.
So he said, Hadafana Ahmed ibn Munoz?
And then
this is
Abu Bakr.
So here.
Right. Isn't this the chain?
Yeah.
This
okay.
Who's this awesome?
This is awesome.
Who is this Abu Bakr?
This is Abu Bakr.
What's the other name of Abu Bakr?
Okay.
Does this remind you of anything?
Should remind you of the Quran, the of
the Quran.
Okay.
Why should this remind you of the of
the Quran?
Because if if you have the,
you know, Hafsan
and Asim,
you know that Asim,
he has a.
He is one of the They
have
from.
And then there is
a. So you have
the and these are the 10 that are
usually
for the 10 modes of recitation.
And then you have the rewire,
and then you have
a tariq.
So
would be
and hafs and would
be Raawi from Asim.
So
Shahaba
is basically one of the 2 Rahweis
from Asin.
Asin taught 2 people.
So this is the standard of the Quran.
It comes from Allah, Jibril, the prophet
and then
you have
You have Ali
You have Osman
You have,
Zayd bin Nisabit.
You have Obayeb Nakhab.
Okay.
So
these are 5 people. Right?
Okay.
We probably didn't have to go all the
way.
Mhmm.
Okay.
Because why I'm mentioning the 5 only
because I'm talking about Asim here. Where did
Asim get his,
riraya from? He got his riraya from 3
people.
He got his riraya from
Abu Abdul Rahman or Abi Abdul Rahman
and.
Is
there
and Saab
Evan
Elias
Say Bernie.
And
so
Abu Abdurrahman is,
where did he get his,
learning from or, like, where did did he
get his education from?
From Abdul
Abin, All of them.
Where did he get it from?
From the 3
The 3 would be Abdullah,
and Osman.
Abdullah,
And.
Where did
get it from?
From the first one only.
That's why I put up the first because
he taught about Abdulrahman al Soleim,
Zairebn Habesh, and Saad ibn Arias.
Abu Abdulrahman al Soleim,
Zairebn Habesh, in addition to Abdul Laban Nasrud,
learned from.
About the in addition to the 3,
Ali and Abdallah and Osman,
learned from Zaid, Ibn Thabit, and Obey ibn
Kab.
All 3
taught.
Wait a second. I can
I know how to do this?
Yes.
All 3.
There we go.
See.
And then
dot
Abu Abdul Rahman.
I'm sorry. Taught Hafs ibn al Suleiman.
Hafs. Ibn al Suleiman.
And taught,
Shaaba.
The Quran don't know him as Abu Bakr,
or they don't refer him. They know him
as Abu Bakr. They don't refer to him
as Abu Bakr. They call him Shaaba.
So
taught Afs and Shaaba. Shaaba is Abu Bakr
Nayash, one of the reporters of this hadith.
Shaaba is Abu Bakr ibn Ayash, one of
the reporters of,
this hadith. And he reported from his sheikh
in the Quran. He reported this hadith from
us and his sheikh in the Quran.
And we're saying that the weakness in this
hadith
comes from these 2.
So
that's a little bit
sort of surprising.
Like, a little bit
and it may
for some people that they may say,
it should be concerning, guys. Like, you're saying
you're talking about the Quran,
and you're,
calling these people.
So these people, what is their problem in
Hadith?
It's not that they are buyers.
Their problem is competency, adopt,
you know, competency or adopt accuracy, precision.
They
Abubak Orchaba was was described by some people
as Tekel, but certainly, several people did talk
about his errors and mistakes and, you know,
mixing up things and stuff.
So how do we how do we explain
this?
Exactly.
When some people
get get too consumed in one particular discipline
or one particular specialty,
they would
be less
sort of competent
in other specialties.
So you either go deep or you go
wide.
You go deep or you go wide. You
know, if you're a physician, you know this.
You are like
and and there is no problem. If you
if you do family practice, for instance,
you have chosen to go white.
But if if you do
a particular
form of epidepatology,
for instance,
you have chosen to go deep,
in one particular so
even if you have the same capacity, the
same mental capacity,
you either go deep or you go wide.
And and, certainly, we do have, like, you
know,
very few people that are,
body mass and
they know everything. They know a lot of
things about like, a lot of things. And
that is true in our history.
But again, at the same time, the principle
applies.
The principle applies.
These people have, like,
sort of supernatural
capacity
almost.
But the principle applies.
And if you are
known
to have,
you know, chosen
depth over breadth,
then
these are the people who have chosen depth
over breadth when you
if you have spent time
in learning the you
would realize
what the what how time consuming,
and and how much it sort of
it envelops you. It is sort of it
it takes you up. It
consumes your time and your effort. So that's
what it is. So there is no reason
to be particularly alarmed here.
We do recognize that these people
are sadook.
Those those people are truthful.
Those people were excellent in because
that
that's what they dedicated their lives to.
So when it came to a Hadith, they
were not the most competent,
in in a Hadith,
because it was not something that they
dedicated their lives to. Now
given that,
you know, there is no,
the the Quran the the point in the
Quran is not we're not counting on the
competency
of an individual.
The the point in the Quran is that
a water.
And
whatever you whatever you believe about the and
about this origin of the and so on
and so forth, the corroborate one another. The
we're talking about the one Quran with subtle
differences here and here, like minor differences here
and here. But it is 1 Quran,
and, you know, the we talked about the
revisionist school in Islamic studies before and we
talked about, like, you know, Patricia Crohn's and
Michael Cook and,
John Wansbrough, their their teacher and so on.
And some of their ideas have been completely
rejected, and some of them have
basically retracted
some of their ideas.
But the the discovery
of the the old manuscripts that were discovered,
you know, recently, like, about 10 or years
ago or something,
have basically,
verifiably
refuted
their idea because the old manuscripts of the
Quran
have shown
that we have the same book. It is
the same book. Whatever it is,
the
minor variations
between the Quran Quran and whatever,
proposition you accept
with regard to
the minor variations be between the it does
not at all,
compromise the integrity
of the book. The book is the book,
has been reported by Tawatir.
The manuscripts,
the ancient manuscripts
have
corroborated
what has been
orally,
transmitted
by Tawatr
and so on.
So anyway, this is something for you to
to remember.
Just when this comes up,
how come,
you know, the reporters of the Quran,
they have these issues.
It was not their specialty.
We're not counting on any particular individual to
to for the transmission of the Quran.
It is the Tawatur.
It is not the competency
of a particular
individual.
In the Hadith,
it's different
because we're counting god. These Hadith are coming
through solitary chains. This particular Hadith
this particular Hadith, we will call it Hassan
because of these reporters.
We will have less
confidence in this hadith because of these reporters.
We are having less confidence in this hadith
than we are having in the hadith that
we would call
or authentic,
because it's a solitary chain.
Because we're relying on them to tell us
what the prophet
said. But when it comes to the Quran,
no. We are not
relying
on them. We're not relying on them. We're
relying on
the Tawaj.
Next,
So Ibn Sirin said, we were with Abu
Huraira one night, and he said, oh Allah,
forgive Abu Huraira and his mother and whoever
asks for forgiveness
for both of them. Mohammed said, we used
to ask for forgiveness for them so that
we would be included
in Abu Hurairah's,
supplication.
So,
you know, he was
kind enough to the Abu Ghraib, his
mother,
to even ask for
to ask for to ask people
to make dua for her.
Then
and then, certainly,
this harissa would would mean that,
it's okay to ask people to make dua
for you. It's okay to ask people to
make dua for your parents. But keep in
mind that
this should not
ever,
make you
reliant
on
the dua of others
and forget
your own dua.
When people make dua for you, they're not
making the dua of the.
If you are the, the one in distress,
you are
the one that should,
should be making dua. Although, you can ask
others to make dua for you, but this
should never make you forget
to make dua for yourself and to show
your
to show your distress, your need and your
poverty,
to Allah
to accept your dua.
Dua.
So Aburiah reported that the messenger of Allah
said, when a person dies, all action is
cut off for him with the exception of
3 things,
continuous charity
or ongoing charity,
beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who makes
supplication,
for him.
And this is a hadith that is a
popular hadith. You all are familiar with this
hadith.
And the
or the point in this hadith is
a righteous child who makes supplication
for him. This is to stress the importance
of,
dua for your parents.
And the when he says
also,
it it stresses the importance of your own
salah,
because it your dua is likely
closer, you know, closer to acceptance
if you are salahid than yourself.
But also, the the other point is if
you're not salah, you'll probably not be making
dua
even for yourself,
because it is the who will be making
dua
anyway.
Then, next, he says,
Abbaas
reported
that a man,
this man is
mentioned in the in other reports to be
Sa'ad ibn Abu Adha,
A man said,
messenger of Allah,
my mother died without leaving a will.
Will it help her if I give charity
on her behalf?
Will it help her if I give charity
on her behalf? And, certainly,
the prophet,
said yes.
And Saad ibn Ubada digged 2 wells, I
guess,
for his mother.
And,
you know, to basically give give water to
for people is,
one of the greatest, if not the greatest,
the prophet said the greatest form of charity.
So
to dig wells for people who don't have,
access to, clean water
is certainly a great deed. And if you
do this on behalf of your,
parents when you can afford it, then it
would be a great thing to do for
them.
Next is
Bab Mankana,
Babu Berri Mankana,
Yesilahu
Abu.
The beautifulness
to someone his father
loved.
Imam Bukhari said,
this is the Abdullah of Nazareth
is
the scribe of
Alayth.
Abdullah ibn Salih is the scribe of Alayth.
Alayth
here is Alayth of Nizad,
the, you know, Egyptian scholar.
So
this,
this hadith also
this hadith also was considered by Sheikh Rabayin,
the Aif,
but
several people considered it,
established.
And Sheikh Alban usually considers Abdullah ibn Salih
the scribe of a layth layf,
and
many people disagreed
with
this
sort of categorization
of Abdullah ibn Salih.
Yes. He he did have problems,
mixing up things,
particularly later in life
and particularly,
you know, they they they mentioned things about,
you know, his manuscripts getting,
sort of,
manipulated by some people and so on. But
in general, Abdullah ibn al Salih,
is is considered,
is not considered necessary is not considered weak,
and many scholars would consider his hadith
to be Hassan.
The rest of the chain is is solid.
You know, of
course, of Muhammad al Sahabi. So the rest
of the chain is solid. The meaning of
this hadith
has been also,
you know,
this incident has been also reported by Muslim,
but with a slightly
with some different wording
at the end.
You know, Muslim at the end, instead of
saying,
Muslim
said
So
the the the they're they're comparable.
They're comparable.
And that particular statement has been also mentioned
through another report.
Anyway, let's translate the Hadith. Abdullah ibn Adinar
reported
that Ibn Omar passed by a Bedouin during
a journey.
The Bedouin's father had been a friend of
Omar's.
Ibn Omar said, are you not the son
of so and so? He said, yes, indeed.
Ibnu Amar ordered that he, be given a
donkey
which was following him. So, Ibnu Amar, like,
you know, riding a camel
have you ever tried riding a camel?
That is not that's not easy.
But,
it get you know, you get exhausted after
a while.
So I mean, Amr used to have a
a donkey with him,
and when he gets tired of the camel,
he would ride on the donkey.
So that's that's the meaning of.
The
is following them. The was following them because
of Nama' would basically
ride on it when he gets tired of
the camel.
He he,
so Abner Omar was was traveling.
He met this man. He said to him,
are you the son of so and so?
He said, yes. I am. So Abner Omar
said to them, give him the donkey,
as a gift.
And he took off his turban.
It says here, he also took off his
turban
and gave it to him.
One of the men with him said, wouldn't
be
enough for him?
He replied.
The prophet
the prophet
said, maintain your father's friendship.
Don't
separate,
lest Allah
extinguish
your light.
So maintain your father's friendship.
Don't sever it, lest Allah,
extinguish
your
light.
Where does this belong? It belongs to Ekram,
to be kind to their friends.
Maintain,
you know, the friendships,
the relationships
that your parents have. This this applies to
father
and mother.
It even applies to,
spouse. You know, how the prophet,
aisha, said that the prophet would slaughter a
sheep
and distribute the meat between the friends of
Khadija.
Out of loyalty to Khadija,
he would distribute the meat of the sheep
between
divide the meat of the sheep among the,
friends of Khadija.
So Aisha said that she used to get
jealous of Khadija even though she, you know,
she was not a cowife.
She was more jealous of Khadija than she
was of the rest of the cowwives
because of how much the prophet
showed loyalty,
to Khadija and affection to Khadija to the
extent that he would
show
kindness
to the friends of Khadija.
He would be extra kind to the friends
of Khadija. Anyway,
so if if the friends of the spouse
are deserving of this, certainly, the friends of
the parents are mostly deserving
of it. And then you will be basically,
bringing about the for your parents
and good thoughts,
you know, for your parents,
by people, and and so on.
And, and,
you know, and and see how generous will
Abu Amr was with him. He he gave
him the the donkey,
and he just wanted to give him everything
that he can. So, like, what what am
I gonna give you? And so he took
off his turban, and he had, like, an
like, a a good turban. So he took
off his turban and gave it to him.
And that you know, the turban also is,
like, a sign of pride and stuff. And
so when you give your own turban,
it it just, it's it's more symbolic even
than than just the value of the turban
itself.
Next, he said,
This,
Ibn Umar reported that the messenger of Allah
said, indeed, the greatest form of dutifulness
is for a person to maintain ties with
those between whom and his father there was
love.
You know, maintain ties with the people that
your father loved.
So
when when we said before
would
be would mean what? It could be or
would or
would. So would would mean the love,
the friendship.
Would mean the loved ones.
Would mean,
the loved,
ones.
So anyway, the the the meaning eventually is
is the same. And here, it says that
the greatest form of duliffulness is for a
person to maintain ties with those between whom
and his father, there was love.
Here, you're not only trying to be kind
to your father,
but you have
an overflow
of.
Like, you have
an overflow
of kindness to your father
and mother, dutifulness
towards your father and mother that it basically
flows over to their
family and friends.
And,
not only in their life, but also
after,
their,
death.
Then, chapter 21,
do not call off someone with whom your
father maintained ties.
The same thing, but it will be at
just a different hadith. So we will go
over it, quickly.
This is Amr ibn Osman ibn Affan, the
child of Osman ibn Affan.
Amr ibn
reported
that his father said,
I was sitting in the mosque in the
Medina with Umar ibn Uthman.
Yeah. That's Umar ibn Uthman, Uthman.
When Abdullah ibn Islam you know, Abdullah ibn
Salam, the one who used to be a
Jewish rabbi and accepted Islam became one of
the greatest
Sahaba. He's.
You know?
So he Salam walked by. Abdulillah
walked by, leaning on his nephew.
He passed the gathering
and then returned to them and said said
to Amr ibn Othman, it seems that Amr
ibn Othman did not pay attention to him,
you know, did not, you know, pay
respect
to to him. So he he came he
returned
and he said,
do what you like, Amr ibn Osman.
And he said it 2 to 3 times,
by the one who sent Muhammad
with the truth. It is in the book
of Allah Almighty
twice.
Do not cut off those your father has
joined,
lest your light be extinguished.
Lest your light be extinguished.
What does that mean?
Is it in the book of Allah?
Do not cut off,
you know, those your father has joined, lest
your light be extinguished.
So
here well, it's not in the book of
Allah. Like, you can't say that this is
a verse that was abrogated.
So we don't recite it anymore. And why
can't you say this? Because,
to begin with, this hadith is not authentic.
This hadith is not authentic.
Bishop Mohammed has issues.
Second,
if this hadith
weren't
fact authentic,
then it would be
more reasonable to say
that he meant the meaning
of it is in the book of Allah.
You know, it's not easy to to claim
that some that there is a, like, a
verse and the verse was
aggregated or something like this. It's not like
an easy thing to do, and it should
never be an easy thing to do.
So some of the scholars even went as
far as saying,
he meant by the book of Allah the
Torah.
You know? Because that's, you know, his background.
It doesn't mean that he didn't convert
or his conversion. No. It just it means
that,
you know, it's the prophet
said don't
belie them or believe them, and,
we don't know what is,
you know. And he may have felt that
since it is consistent with Islam and and
so on,
that it may be of,
the,
the the the true true parts of the
Torah that have not been
manipulated.
So anyway,
you could say this hadith is not authentic.
I don't have to deal with it. You
could say
he may have meant the Torah, although very
unlikely.
You could
say he meant that the meanings
of the the the this concept
can be
derived from the book of Allah.
This concept can be derived, deduced
from extrapolated
from the book of Allah.
But he will not say
this was actually in the book of Allah
and then was abrogated. He will not say
that. He will say 1, 2, or 3.
This hadith is not authentic. I don't need
to deal with it.
He may have meant to the Torah, although
it's unlikely.
Or the easier one, this more straightforward one,
he meant that this concept can be derived
or extrapolated
from the book of Allah.
Then, al Imam Bukhari said,
A love is inherited, chapter 22.
This
is You know, this is one of the
greatest in our history, as as you know.
Abu Bakr ibn Hazb reported that one of
the companions of the prophet
said, it is not it is enough.
It is enough for you that I tell
you or, like, I can guarantee,
to you that the messenger of Allah
said, love is inherited.
Love is inherited.
You know? Well,
if this hadith is is not authentic, the
meaning itself is a sound meaning. The meaning
of this hadith is a sound meaning. Love
is inherited.
You know? And,
people who have good nature,
people who have loyalty and commitment,
they do inherit love
as they inherit other things.
So you inherit, like, whatever your parents loved,
you inherit that from them. Whomever your parents
loved, you inherit that from them, and you
keep the ties.
You join the ties.
And then chapter 23, a man should not
call his father by his name nor sit
down before him.
Abu Huraira saw 2 men and said to
one of them,
who's this man in relation to you? He
replied, he's my father. He said, you know,
he will give him now 3 pieces of
advice,
to, you know, to honor his father. Don't
call him by his name
nor walk in front of him
nor sit down before him.
Are you guys doing this?
Yeah.
Anyway
but, these are etiquettes that you should observe.
Like, if you walk into a room, don't
sit down before your father sits or your
mother sits. Just, like, out of respect.
Stand up until they sit, unless they want
you to sit down first.
Don't walk in front of them unless you
do this,
if for them, in their own benefit, for
their own sake.
Like, the Abu Bakr would walk in front
of the prophet
to protect them. Like, you know, he would
go into the cave,
first, to make sure that there are no
scorpions or snakes or stuff things that could
hurt the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. So
if you're doing this,
you know, with that intention,
deeds are by their intentions. So if you're
walking in front of your father or mother,
basically, to
to scan the area for them or something
or to protect them, then that should certainly
should be, good.
But otherwise, you walk behind them out of
respect, and you don't sit until they sit
out of respect.
And it depends on whether they,
the some of these things are culturally dependent
also.
But, again, at the same time, when do
we draw the line and say
that these these behaviors,
the this this conduct
has to do with our deen?
So it's not simply
a a cultural thing, but it has to
do with our deen. Some things should be
intuitive,
should be obvious.
And certainly, anything that comes from the prophet
as a command, this this clearly has to
do with our deen. But was Abu Hurairah
influenced here?
The Abu Hurairah knows that the prophet
orders the difference to parents. Was he influenced
by the culture when he gave those 3
pieces of advice,
possibly.
But again, again, at the same time, this
is a hobby,
and,
like,
a conveyor of, you know, a hadith
of the hadith of the prophet
and this is his advice. So it should
be taken to heart and should be heeded.
Don't call him by his name. And I
think that this is always applicable.
Don't call your parent, your mother, or your
father by their name.
Ibrahim kept on saying to his Moshek father,
This is an affectionate way of calling your
father,
my father,
my beloved father, sort of and it's not
Yaa Abu.
So it's a little bit more affectionate
than Yaa Abu.
And so my beloved father.
But just call call him baba, mama,
dad, anything.
Don't call him by his name. We'll talk
about the cuneiform,
shortly. But, anyway,
I I think it's it's not a good
idea
to call your father by their name
because there is hierarchy.
And you may say that this is patriarchal
or patriarchal or matriarchal or whatever they say.
But these things, you know, you you just
can't take individualism,
to that
individualism.
There are certain aspects of individualism
that are sanctioned Islamically.
You know, there are certain
aspects of, you know,
personal space, human freedom, and like, that are
accepted Islamically. So So you don't need
to bash individualism
all the way because when you do this,
it is very tricky. These
these terms
have,
ambiguous meanings and they mean different things to
different people. So don't be bashing,
you know, a term that may mean different
things to different people.
But then break it down.
Say, if this is what it means, then
it's it's problematic. If this is what it
means, then it's sin sinful. If this is
what it means, then it's blasphemous. If this
is what it means, then it is fine.
If this is what it means, then it
is good. If this is what it means,
then it is obligatory.
So just, you know, break down things
and don't be chasing,
particular terms. But, certainly,
what people want like,
certain people in our world
want to take individualism,
to its, basically, extreme conclusion
and tear apart
all collectives,
so that we're just like all,
individuals, and there is no hierarchy whatsoever. There
is no hierarchy in society. There is no
hierarchy in the family, and we are individuals.
And we are detached from
our own groups, you know, from our own,
connections,
from the collectives,
from the family,
from the society.
We are
basically
floating without any hierarchy.
In Islam, there is hierarchy, but it is
a compassionate hierarchy.
There is authority.
The father, the mother, they have authority. A
parent should never forfeit
their authority,
but it is,
compassionate authority. Yet, there is no given up,
hierarchy in Islam.
There is no given up hierarchy in Islam.
We're not going to be all floating,
without
hierarchy.
There is a hierarchy in the family. There
is a hierarchy in the society.
And the hierarchy
It's a righteous hierarchy,
and it's regulated hierarchy.
It's not tyrannical hierarchy. It's not suffocating hierarchy,
but there is hierarchy.
And the father is a father. The mother
is a mother.
You should befriend your kids. That's fine. Great.
Befriend your kids. Play with your kids. Of
course, play with your kids.
Be affectionate.
Be lighthearted.
Whatever you want. But
there has it has to be
the the hierarchy has to be kept,
you know. So you're not just going to
be friends with your kids.
You are still the father.
You are a friendly
father.
That's the that's the most you could be.
But you're not going to forfeit
your authority,
and you're not going to dismantle
the hierarchy.
Now to call him by his name
is a step towards dismantling the hierarchy.
To call your father by or your mother
by
their name
is basically
working to dismantle the hierarchy.
So
this is this is,
not
something that that that that would have, been
accepted by the Russia's generations,
and this would have been frowned upon.
Now next,
El Imam Bukhari
explains that sometimes you can call them by
their.
Can a man call his father by his
He said,
said. And Shahr
is not, you know, your best.
This is a lot of controversy over Shah,
but not your most competent.
And this whole
chain
doesn't have a single
PETA, most competent
person,
in it. So Shahram,
of course, except for, you know,
you know, but they are reporting from from
Salem.
So it's it's not like Salem is the
one who is reporting. They're reporting something that
Salem did. Salem is that the child of
Abdullah ibn Omar. Salem was one of the
greatest faqis,
child of Abdullah ibn Omar ibn Khattab.
Salem, of course, was al Sahabi, was a
Tabii, but was a great faqih.
And
he the report here says, or Shahr ibn
Hashab says, that Salim said to his father,
Abdullah ibn Omar, a salata.
He reminded them of a salah.
So he said to him the prayer. It's
time for the prayer.
Oh, Abu Abdul Rahman.
Oh, Abu Abdul,
Ar Rahman.
Who's Abu Abdul Rahman? Abdallah Nohmar, his father.
So he didn't
say dad or,
you know, father or anything. He said Abad
Al Rahman.
Now this particular chain
is questionable,
so you may say,
yeah, that, you know, it's it's a questionable
chain,
unlike the Hadith of Abu Huraira.
But there is certainly a difference between
the konya and the name. Daconia
was an honorific
title
in their culture.
So the konya
was an honorific
title in their culture.
The konya is when you say father of
so and so, mother of so and so.
So that is not like calling them by
their name. The conia is different from the
name. It was an honorific title, so it
may not be disrespectful
to call them by their conia.
Even then,
it depends.
In in some cultures, it's still, you know,
frowned upon
and it should still not be done unless
you're doing it you're doing it affectionately
and you know that your father or mother
likes it, so that's fine.
That is when you call
them.
But when you speak about them, he will
report some other hadith,
where he says and this is the last
hadith in this book of Birid Waliday. This
is the last hadith about Birid Waliday. Next
time, inshallah, we'll start
or joining the kin the kin or, you
know, joining ties the ties of kinship.
He says the last hadith here,
And this is an authentic chain.
The this is a good chain. Even though
Abu Bukhari said,
you know,
Bukhari says,
our, you know, companions have told us from,
Waqi'a.
So Waqi'a is the sheikh of the shi'uk
of al Bukhari.
And when the Bukhari tells you that his
shi'uk reported from Waqi'a,
that should be forgiven. The ebbam in his
shiuk,
the the the basically, the shiuk not being
named,
that should be because he's telling you several
of my shiuk
have reported
from Waqiya. It should be forgiven particularly when
we are talking about adab and fada'il
and things of that nature.
So this this this, chain is is a
good chain, and it ends up by Abdullah
ibn Adinar,
reporting from Abdullah ibn Omar
that he said,
Abdallahib Nohmar said, but Abu Hafs
Nohmar,
decreed or,
it it's not clear whether it's Kaaba
means decreed or Kaaba means died, because it
could be mean both. Kaaba such and such
or Kaaba which could mean, died. But, anyway,
the point where Shah had here is that
Abdullah,
in reference to his father,
called him Abu Hafs.
That is his. Abu Hafs, Omar
Khadr.
Sometimes
sometimes,
so
that's an authentic chain.
But keep in mind here that he's talking
about Omar, the second Khalifa.
So sometimes
or,
you know, sometimes,
if if your father is beyond
just like another beyond, like, the the person
of your father is is much bigger than
just a a person,
And you refer to them
by their name
and, you know, their, like here, Abu Hafsa
Omar, he's talking about the second khalifa. So
he's he's like someone who's talking about the
president, the child of a president who says,
who calls the president by their name,
you know, or refers to the presidents by
his name in in a, like, a conference
or convention or a meeting or something because
he's he that person is now
more than just the person
more than just the person. So Abdallah ibn
Umar is talking about Umar ibn Khattab, the
second khalifa
after he died. So he's referring to him
by his,
konya. Anyway, the bottom line here is
you don't call your parent by their name.
Whether you will call them by their konya
or some honorific title, there is room and
it's somewhat culturally dependent. And if they like
it,
and if it is sort of an affectionate
way of ex oppression,
it's fine. If they don't like it, you,
abstain. Refrain.
Of course, you you you you don't. So
it it it's 2 things, culturally appropriate, and
they like it. That's fine. And if it
is an honorific title, but not
not their name,
unless you're you're basically referring to them and
you're talking you're you're at the Social Security
office and stuff.
And,
anyway,
to give 3 minutes for people to leave,
and then
we will, have, like, 15 minutes of questions
and answers.