Hatem al-Haj – ADB005 Al-Adab Al-Mufrad – Mistreating Parents
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Or the chapter on disobedience to
disobedience to parents or mistreatment of parents. And
I as I said, mistreatment would be better
than disobedience
because Akuuk is not limited
to disobedience.
Akuuk is mistreatment.
In fact, Akuuk
means a lot more
than mistreatment.
It it means
failure
to do better.
Failure,
to do better.
And that's why
Allah,
when he talks about the muharramat in the
Quran,
or the prohibited acts in the Quran,
and he mentions Al Mud Muharramat, when it
comes to the parents,
he does not
say.
He basically puts it in the affirmative,
that you must be dutiful to your parents
because our cook
is,
is simply
mistreatment or, disobedience.
And what is binding in you is to
be bar
and any failure,
to
be dutiful,
to be kind, to be extending
that you should not
basically
refrain
from doing what they
please, what they like,
whether they ask for it or not.
And
we we will talk about how we, you
know, how we reconcile this with.
There should be no harm or reciprocation of
harm.
Obedience pertains only to,
maruv or that which is good.
We will talk about reconciliation,
but I just want you to let the,
let the hadith of the prophet, sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, that the heart of the Quran,
fall on you without
impediments,
without coming up with impediments
to,
divert
or to push them away,
deflect
the aat and the hadith
from
given into your heart
and
affecting,
your behavior.
And,
you know,
it it is so heartwarming
to hear from people that their,
relationship with their parents
started to improve since they started attending the
class.
You know, not nothing could could be more
encouraging or heartwarming,
than
this.
Okay. The first hadith of the prophet
mentioned here,
sent here
from the prophet
So, Abu Bakr
reported that the messenger of Allah
said, shall I tell you which is the
worst of the major sins?
Akbar Kabair, the greatest of the great sins.
Kabir is great, you know,
Kabair
or enormities, enormous, most enormous of the enormous
sins, the greatest of the great sins,
the greatest of the great sins.
They said, oh, yes, messenger of Allah.
They replied.
He said, associating others with Allah
and mistreatment of parents,
he had been reclining, but then he sat
up and said in false testimony.
Abu Bakr said he continued to repeat it
until I said, is he,
I wish he stops.
I wish he stops.
And,
this hadith is agreed upon. It's reported by
Buhariya Muslim in their Sahayah.
That's the highest level of authenticity.
So in in this hadith, the prophet
tells us about the greatest of the great
sins. And this indicates that
even the enormities or the great sins,
they're they were not created equal.
You know, the great sins,
vary among themselves.
Some of the great sins are greater than
others.
So there are, you know, major sins
and minor sins. There are kibar and sukhair.
And among the major sins, the kibar,
there are akbar kibar.
There are greater
than the gray you know, greater or the
greatest of the great,
sins. And these are the greatest of, the
great sins. The prophet
mentioned,
3 of them.
So
what about murder?
And what about the other ones?
They would be they would be in in
included.
However, as as we said before,
that,
not every time the prophet
would tell us everything about, you know, the
so this is something that you will have
to to look at.
You know, you take in the text of
Revelation
together. You you take in everything,
and you take it in
together.
But the prophet
wanted to highlight
some of the the greatest, and, of course,
Sherk would be the greatest of all. And
comes next to Sherk would be the real,
you know. So
someone is someone who,
basically, his father tells him,
get me
water,
and says no. Or someone who does, like,
a form of by
saying to his father,
for instance, which is a word of resentment,
like, you know, a very simple word of
resentment or indicating
by facial gestures,
resentment
to his mother.
Is is he committing a greater sin than
someone
who,
like, rapes a woman and then burns her,
you know,
alive?
Perhaps not.
Perhaps not. But, again, when
we're we're talking about
the
greatest manifestations
of,
what about someone who's killing their parents?
Is he committing a gray grave graver sin
than someone who's getting someone else?
Yeah. And so this is how you look
at things. This is how you measure things,
and this is how you look at things.
So would
be would come number 1.
You know, in certainly, in its highest forms,
would not be,
would would not,
be next to anything other than,
shirk or second to anything other,
than shirk. And Apok el Waridane
is much more comprehensive, as we said, than
disobeying the parents, but it is failing to
please them, failing to be beautiful to them.
And the sliced the slightest word of resentment
or expression of resentment would be considered
part of a coup would be considered part
of a coup.
Then the prophet
was reclining
And then he said false testimony, false testimony,
false testimony. He kept on repeating it
until
said to them
where she stops.
And, of course,
you know, like,
now in the Sahaba,
you have to understand this within,
you know, the context of, you know, in
the Sahaba.
Later who's second,
can be understood to mean
disrespect,
can be understood to mean compassion.
Because later, who's second, we're just tired
of it. That's disrespect.
Leite who's second,
we
feel bad for the prophet. He seems to
be distressed.
You know, we do not want him to
get weary. We do not want him to
get tired or to get more distressed.
That is compassion.
You know, what
what what would you expect
of the sahabhar, did
they say Laita Husakketh
as an expression of disrespect or as an
expression of compassion?
Of course, you would think,
you you know, any sane person, reasonable person,
knowing,
you
know, that the the Sahaba,
knowing their relationship with the prophet,
knowing their sacrifices for Islam,
now in their treatment of the prophet, we'll
think the second
out of compassion.
Okay.
Later, second. But then we we we want
to stop here and say, so why is
false testimony? Why did why was he reclining
when he said that Ishaq billah is false
testimony
worse than associating partners to Allah
and mistreatment of parents?
What makes him give more attention to false
testimony
than Ishraq Billah and pastreatment of parents?
Because
false testimony
is more common.
You know, the the scholars said that Ishraqbullah,
a Muslim by nature,
is averse to,
the Israq Billah.
And, you know,
look at, look at apostates, for instance.
Where do they go?
They they they go to like,
most of the time, they go to atheism.
You know, later become Christians, but, you know,
but
do you see Islam losing
that many
followers to Christianity
or
or to, paganism or to any polytheistic,
religion. You don't. So it
by nature, once you you you're
once you're familiar with Tawhid,
you just can't favor,
shirk over Tawhid. It's just hard to favor
shirk over tawhid
once
or your heart tastes
the the beauty of, tawhid,
or the sweetness of tawhid.
So the prophet
was you know, he felt
that Muslim.
The heart of the Muslim is averse to
this by nature.
So,
you know, which became less
true nowadays than it was in the past.
But,
good natured
people
would be averse to also
by nature
by their nature. Like, it's it is
it is something you need to be really
overtaken by the shaitan
to to be up or to me to
mistreat your your parents.
Because by nature,
human beings
in their Petra
have this
inclination
to loving
and their parents and being
to them.
And even when people fail
in in that,
they
sort of,
recover
quickly. People who have a good nature, people
who still have,
a fatwa that has not been completely destroyed,
has not been completely
corrupt.
But when it comes to false testimony,
people are
sort of more daring
to commit that sin
than they are to commit shirk or.
More daring. That is why the prophet
wanted to emphasize
the gravity
of this particular sin because this sin can
lead to what?
People losing their life. People losing their property.
False testimony is a huge thing. When you
when you provide false testimony,
you
are basically,
causing all the evil that may, you know,
it could it could amount to murder.
When you provide false testimony and someone loses
their life because of your false testimony,
loses their property,
that's, you know, like,
stealing,
like murder,
just by false testimony,
by giving false testimony,
and people could lose their honor. How often
do people, you know,
people's honor
suffer,
because of gossiping and backbiting and lying
and slandering and, you know, false that's false
testimony.
Okay.
So this is the first hadith, the the
word that and and, certainly,
we we want to remember this,
you know, you know, associating partners to Allah,
mistreatment of parents, false testimony,
falsehood,
in general.
And we want to stay away from this
as much as we can.
And and,
we will come back and and talk about,
you know, the other shirk billah, some more,
inshallah.
Then the second hadith, the prophet,
which was reported to perhaps, you know, where
an imam Bukhari
said, Hadef
So Warrad, the scribe of al Mavira, Ibn
Shaba,
said, Mahawiyah,
wrote to Al Mabira saying, write down for
me what you what you heard, the messenger
of Allah. May Allah be pleased with him.
May Allah bless him and grant him peace.
Say,
Warad said, he
dictated to me and I wrote out,
I heard him, that's
saying I heard the prophet,
forbid
asking too many questions, wasting money, and idle
talk, or vain talk.
He said, he said.
You know?
Okay.
Or the literal translation would be, he said,
it was said.
It
was said, he said.
Now
so this hadith,
I heard him forbid asking too many questions,
wasting money, and idle talk.
Where is mistreatment of parents here? Isn't it
as the chapter on mistreatment of parents?
Okay.
And,
all the manuscripts
have the have the hadith in this wording.
So it's not, you know,
we we don't know.
But maybe Allah wanted to show that even
Adnan Buhari is a human being.
So, this hadith
if you
remove and
you put instead of,
they will give you a more
sort of complete version of the hadith that,
that is
reported by Buhari and Muslim.
So the more complete version of the hadith
that is not in Al Adab al Mufrad
says,
So the more complete version of the hadith,
Allah had forbidden
to you
mistreatment of mothers,
mistreatment of mothers,
burying,
your daughters alive,
or female infanticide,
burying your
the daughters alive.
Which means withholding and demanding, withholding and demanding.
And Allah dislikes three things.
I didn't talk.
Basically asking too many questions.
Some people said begging, but here it means,
well, likely asking too many questions because,
you know, begging was was included in
with holding and demanded.
Asking
too many questions,
wasting money.
So
was mentioned
the things that are
bearing,
your daughters alive.
Is withholding.
People who
withhold,
they don't fulfill their obligations,
And the demanding
ask for
more than,
they're entitled to, ask for more than the
rights. They withhold and demand withhold and demand.
They ask people they ask people more than
they're entitled to, and they withhold
and not fulfill
their obligations.
And Allah dislikes 3 things.
That is, it was said, he said. You
could say, I didn't talk. He said, she
said.
People who are,
like, you know
it
there there are many interpretations of.
You know, does this include gossiping and backbiting?
Probably not.
Not not here,
because it wouldn't be only disliked.
It wouldn't be only disliked, because backbiting and
gossiping are haram.
So
but
here he said he forbade 3 things, and
he disliked 3 things. So
comes in the disliked category.
So in this case, it would be people
who just
people talking, you know,
you know, they
propose things without proof.
That's one of one of it.
They,
basically, quote scholars
without,
without proof. And that is not the Muqaddid
who's,
staying in their lane
and who just making taqid and and minding
their business. That's the people who keep on,
like, arguing
without understanding
the basis
of,
the the arguments or the the positions that
they are defending.
They just keep on saying, you know, like,
2 people, for instance, Shafi'i and Hanafi, for
instance, or Shafi'i and Hamdi, who keep on
arguing. Shafi'i said Ahmed said,
why are you arguing? You don't even understand
what there's what they said and why they
said it and how it applies.
Stop arguing. Just mind your business, stay in
your lane,
and
and live and let live, I guess.
So,
but also could include
simply,
you know, any talk, any speech that's useless,
not helpful, not beneficial.
And and some people have this habit. They
just like to talk, talk, talk, talk.
Called idle talk. It's called vain talk. It's
called.
And,
Yeah. So it
it it it will not bring about any
benefit to anyone,
and that's why the
and, also,
whenever you,
engage in vain talk,
you will slip.
It's just like
it's inevitable.
Almost inevitable.
If you're not careful and if you like
to talk, you will slip.
You will
engage in
backbiting,
mandering,
gossiping,
mocking,
lying,
some form of falsehood,
you will slip.
So train yourself
to stay silent.
Let him
say good or stay silent. Say something good
or stay silent.
So the
hadith, the point in the in the hadith
is the statement that was not mentioned in
this book,
mistreatment
of mothers. And the prophet
said,
in particular,
to highlight the gravity
of because oftentimes,
suffer from
more than,
Abba.
Because,
you know, people,
you know, may have,
fear from the fathers,
that they don't have
with,
with regard to to their mothers.
So they may be more
daring
in, in mistreatment,
of mothers. And it is
certainly
graver,
but because the bearer of al Muhat is
more binding as the prophet said.
Then the next is
chapter Allah curses,
whoever curses
his parents. He says,
And this was reported by Muslim. So
Abu Tufayr
said,
Ali, he was asked, did the prophet
share with you something special
that he did not share
with the rest of the people? He's replied,
the messenger of Allah, salalahu alaihi wasalam, did
not share with us anything special that he
did not share with the rest of the
people,
except for what I have in my sword
scabbard.
He brought out a piece of paper.
Written on that paper was,
Allah curses anyone who sacrifices an animal to
something other than Allah. Allah curses anyone who
steals a boundary marker.
Allah, you know, that separates the land,
of, you know, the mark that marks the
territories.
Allah
curses anyone who curses his parents. Allah curses
anyone who shelters
an innovator or a criminal,
because Adas or Ahdas
is not just about innovation. It's about major
crimes. It's major crimes and innovation,
you know, both.
And this would be a criminal also.
So
about to file
reports this from,
Ali.
So what's special about this chain of narration?
This chain of narration is all good.
It's all good.
But what's special about this chain of narration?
This is a Sahabi reporting from a Sahabi.
Abu Tufayla is a Sahabi.
But Abu Tufayla was 8 years old when
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam died.
He's considered as a hobby as he's considered
as a hobby.
And,
you know, what's special about Abu Tafayl,
Aamer ibn Wasilla.
His name is Aamer ibn Wasilla.
Abu Tufail Aamer ibn Wasilla. You want to
remember his name. Why? Because he was the
last Sahabi to die.
The last Sahabi to die is.
So he was born
around 3 or 4 after the,
and he died
somewhere between
100 to
109 after the hejira.
So he was almost 100 years old when
he died,
somewhere between 96 and 106 years when he
died.
And then he is the last of the
Sahaba to die.
So why is he asking
did the prophet
share with you something special?
Because,
you know,
Shia Shi'aism
as a
doctrine
did not really appear,
during the time of Adi. It was a
political movement at the time.
It started to basically
deviate more and more from the main body
of Islam over time.
And it you know, the Imam Eyetiaism
or 12 I Chiasim,
Twelvers,
this
evolved,
you know, over a long period of time.
You know, we're talking about 4th 5th century
after the hegira
is when the, you know, this mad hub
was
crystallized
more.
And but there was political Shi'azim during the
time of Ali
And
some of the people,
at that time
started to
yeah. So so so the the doctrine of
the doctrine of deviation
started during the time of Ade.
We're talking about, you know, it wasn't a,
it has not crystallized except much later.
It was mainly a political,
partisanship
for the shayyah
that is political.
And
many of the Sahaba were
with Ali,
like, Abu'ayib al Ansari was with Ali,
Then where did Abu'iib al Ansari,
die, and where was he buried?
Right out of side outside of Constantinople.
He was fighting
under the Umayyads.
After
Ali
died, he continued,
to basically,
to to fight
and,
to
to, go out on expeditions,
and he died under,
the
the the Umayyads. He this was an expedition
that was commissioned by the Umayyads, and he
died under their their leadership.
So
the the,
the people who were,
on the side of are
not
the people who are Shia now.
And
so it's not like
we are
the descendants
of the people who were on Ma'am al
Aqsa, the al Anhu, and,
the shi'a are the descendants of the people.
No. It was not like this
whatsoever.
It was not like this.
There were people
fighting on this side, people fighting on that
side,
and
the people who killed Al Hussein
were among the people who were fighting on
the side of Ali,
not Muawiyah.
And,
the people who fought with Ali
hereafter,
most of them most of them have accepted
the soul that took place
between
Al Hassan al Mu'awiyah radiAllahu anhumma
and
joined the ranks of
the majority,
the mainstream,
Muslims.
So but the doctrinal deviation
started to appear during the time of Ali
and
people were starting to say that Ahlul Bayt,
being certainly
the,
the most important figure here, that Ayl al
Bayt have special knowledge that the prophet
did not share with the rest of
the people.
And
and that there is nothing that could be
harmful to Islam as a religion
than this thought.
Because the prophet
he left us on a clear path.
He
did not
he did not
fail to convey
the entire message. And in Hajjat al Wada,
he said to people,
do you testify
that I convey the message? They said we
we testify.
He said, Allah, mafa shhad, oh, Allah, be
my witness.
The prophet
did not
withhold
any
knowledge from
the the Muslims
that he shared with a special group of
people,
be it the his family or others.
And it is very important that we understand
that the the egalitarian
epistemology
of this religion
the, you know, the epistemology of the the
religion is is very egalitarian.
However,
this does not mean that all people have
the same knowledge
or the same understanding.
Allah says,
and
fear Allah and Allah teaches you.
So Allah gives guidance,
gives insight,
gives inspiration
to people who are,
more righteous
and more conscious of him,
and,
more
mindful
of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That is true.
But this is not
knowledge that is a substitute
for
the Quran and the sunnah or the revelation.
That is not
a replacement.
That is not
additional.
It's complementary.
It is
understanding
of the Quran and sunnah.
Guidance
with regards to
understanding and application
of the same Quran and sunnah that are
available to anyone.
So anyone who tells you that he has
special knowledge that no one else has is
not telling you the truth,
and is doing this for whatever ends,
but is not telling you the truth.
And Omar bin
Abdul Aziz said,
If you see people
talking
in private,
secretly
about their deen,
apart
from the public,
know that they are
about to to,
innovate
or to establish
a a misguidance.
This deen is meant to be
for the Muslims,
all the Muslims,
no partitions,
But some will get more of it than
others. Everyone comes with their,
you know,
container, I guess, or vessel.
And it depends on how big yours is
how big yours is. But you will get
as much as you can afford to take,
without without limitations.
It's not like some people will be, you
know so so you stand in line, and
whatever it is that you have, and you
you will get the feel of this,
and nothing would be kept from you. So
how do
you widen?
How do you enlarge
your vessel, your container,
your receptacle?
But by 2 things.
You know? The and
learning.
There's 2 things. You know?
Knowledge is by,
learning. It's attained through learning.
And and Allah will teach you. So
and effort
learning, and that's it. This is how you
you you you you enlarge
your receptacle
or your container.
And nothing will be, basically,
nothing will be kept from you
if you do these two things.
So this is this is very important. Inspiration
is true.
It's there is inspiration. It's guidance,
guidance to a better understanding of the deen
and a better application of the deen,
and it is given to people who are
more mindful of Allah,
and to people who put more effort into
learning,
their deen.
The
the the if if anyone,
you know
so so who who
who would be more inspired than Omar if
the
prophet said,
You know, there there used to be
inspired
people.
Is the highest form of inspiration.
It is only short of why?
You know? So Omar did not receive why,
but he was muhadid,
spoken to. That's what Muhamhadith is, spoken to.
And the prophet said there had been
people that are Mujadil Thun and the Ummam
before you and the nations before you. If
there isn't any, any in this Ummah,
it will be Umar. It's Umar.
Or or one of them is Omar. One
of them is Omar.
Why would this have less
or have less, I guess,
than
the nations before.
Yes.
Because we need we don't need
we don't need that many of them like
previous nations did.
Because
he left us on a clear path.
He conveyed
everything
and
It's a book that was,
concise and then became detailed.
It was perfect and then,
was detailed
from Hakim Khabir, the all wise, the all
knowing.
The book of Allah
is the foundation
for us. The sunnah
or the of the prophet
is the explanation of the book.
The practice
of the first community is the application of
all of this.
It doesn't get any better,
any clearer
than this. So we need less of them
than previous nations did,
and that's it. It's not because of,
because they they they were favored
over us. It's because we were favored
by the most complete,
the clearest, and most perfect,
revelation or why.
Okay.
So
we're this is all about
this particular concept.
So Abu Tufayl,
hearing people say that, you know, the prophet
shared special knowledge
with, Al Bayt, alai
and the rest of Al Bayt,
went to him and and asked him this
question.
And it is good that it is coming
from Abu Tufayl in particular.
Why?
Because Abu Tufail
you know, if if we're talking about political
shiaism,
so he is a political shia in that
sense.
About to file,
lived with Ali until Ali died and then
he moved to Mecca. He lived with Ali
in Kufa until Ali died and then he
moved to Mecca. He was,
you know, a like,
a devout
follower of Alayin.
Keep in mind, when when the prophet
died, Abu Tafayr was 7 or 8 years
old.
So he is a Sahabi in that sense,
but certainly, not all the Sahaba are the
same when it comes to their knowledge, when
it comes to their,
you know,
when it comes to how much they benefited
from the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. You
know, Abu Tawhid can
simply,
remember the way the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, looked when they asked about him. But
can he
remember the teachings of the prophet salawasalam?
Likely not. So he is dependent on other
sahaba
in this regard. He is a student of
Ali,
even though he is another sahabi.
So that is, you know, that's why it's
particularly helpful that this came from Abu Tufayed,
and Ali
said no. There is another hadith where Ali
mentioned the other things that he that the
prophet
shared with him.
Any of these things
are special?
You know, when you say Allah curses anyone
who sacrifices an animal to something other than
Allah, Allah curses anyone who steals a boundary
marker. Allah curses anyone who curses his parents.
Allah curses anyone who shelters an in a
criminal
or innovator.
Did the prophet
not teach his own, these things?
He taught them. So what did Ali mean
by accepted this? And in another report, accept,
you know you know, you know,
and some other things. So what what what
what what is so special about this? No.
It's not special or anything.
It's basically,
he's telling him that the prophet dictated for
me to write these things. He's telling him
that I was alone with the prophet. He
dictated for me to write these things, and
now here's what he dictated to me. Did
the prophet
share the same knowledge with other people? Yes.
Everything
here
was reported
through other than
Therefore,
it's not that the prophet
did not convey all the message to us.
All the message was conveyed. He completed
his,
mission,
and,
he did not fail
in,
conveying all the message
to the people, the generality
of the people.
Let's talk about the hadith itself. The hadith
talks about,
you know, people who commit
a grave,
injustices,
to sacrifice an animal to other it's something
other than
the curse,
to,
to steal a boundary marker, to curse one's
parents.
And then,
certainly,
if someone curses his parents,
then that that is,
certainly,
you know,
one of the gravest of the gravest of
the gravest,
sins. But it is not limited to you
cursing your parents
To bring about
curses to your parents also
would
be kabar.
You know, when the prophet
said,
that of the greatest sins
and
and, Yastum or Yastum.
For a man to insult his parents,
they said, how could a man insult his
parents? This will come in Adib al Mufrad
also later.
How can a man insult his parents? He
said
to insult
someone else, and in some reports, insult someone
else's parents,
and then they consequently
insult your parents.
So to bring,
to bring it on them,
to bring curses on them or insults on
them
by misbehaving
by misbehaving,
that is of the greatest greatest of sins.
To,
to bring to
defame the reputation
by misbehaving
that is of the greatest sins.
You have brought it on them
by
bringing on curses,
bringing on insult,
bringing on defamation
to them by your,
misbehavior,
and that's something that we have to keep
in mind. It's not limited to you cursing
your parents.
Then the next,
chapter is
Be unduliful to parents as long as that
does not entail disobedience
to Allah.
This hadith,
we will try to explain it here because
it will require some,
you know,
detail the detailed explanation.
First,
the chain of this hadith,
up until we get to Omid Darda,
they're all questionable. The narrators are all questionable.
But but, then,
we will say that it has collaborations.
There are some other hadith reported from some
other Sahaba,
that corroborate,
this hadith.
Corroboration does not mean that you will find
each
each,
principle in this hadith in another hadith. Corroboration
is when you find the entire hadith
related in alternative wording
or the same wording from another Sahabi.
That's what corroboration means. Not that you will
be able to basically
substantiate
for every concept
through another hadith or another ayah. That's not
corroboration.
The whole thing has been reported.
The whole meanings of this hadith have been
reported in another hadith,
from another Sahabi
with the same,
text or wording
or an alternative,
wording.
So here, Imam Bukhari says,
Messenger
of Allah
the wife of Abu Darda, that is Udayma.
That's the second,
that's the younger.
The wife of Abu Darda
said,
she reported from Abu Darda that he said
the messenger of Allah
recommended
9 things to me. Do not associate partners
or anything with Allah.
Even if you are cut to pieces
or burnt to death, do not associate anything
with Allah.
Do not abandon or prescribe the prayer deliberately.
Anyone who abandons it
will forfeit
Allah's protection.
Do not drink wine.
It is the key
to every evil.
Obey your parents
if they command you to abandon
your world,
your light your world, basically,
then leave it for them.
Or or worthy possessions, you may say. Then
leave it leave them for them.
Do not contend with those in authority
even if you think that you are
in the right.
Do not run away from the army when
it advances,
even if you are killed while your companions
run away.
Spend on your family out of your means.
Do not
lift
your stick
from your family.
What does that mean? We will we will
say what it means.
Instill in them
fear
for Allah,
the almighty
and
exalted.
Okay. Do not lift your sick from your
family.
What does that mean?
So first of
all,
everything before this
is clear and straightforward.
Right?
Not associating the partners
with Allah
even if you're cut into pieces,
or burnt.
So there there is a difference here between
associating partners internally and externally.
You know?
Means that,
you know, if you're forced to associate partners
to Allah,
you could do this externally
but not internally. Internally, never do it, you
know, even if you cut into pieces.
Externally, you may do it if you fear
the death or
something like this,
but
you may also,
in this particular case,
take the high road then, I guess, and
refuse,
to give in
even if you're killed.
You'll be a martyr.
And then so that's the yeah.
You know, do not abandon the prayer,
deliberately.
And anyone who abandons the prayer deliberately
will forfeit the protection of Allah.
We will not talk about the ruling of
the people who abandon the prayer now. It's
it's it's it will take an hour.
Don't drink wine. It's the key to all
evil. And
that applies to intoxicants.
Don't use drugs. They are the key to
all evil. And
sorry. Othman reported
the story
of a woman who invited a righteous man,
because she
had
basically vowed
to make him,
commit
Zena with her.
And she invited him and locked him up
in in in in a room.
And she,
she asked him to commit Zena with with
her, and he refused.
And she gave him one of 3 options.
Othmane reported this. And the story itself has
the the more the moral of the story
is quite clear.
So she offered him 3 things.
There was, like, a little
child
in the room
and wine
and herself.
And certainly, she was
you know, she she probably had people to
help her, like guards and stuff,
help her, you know,
execute her threat,
to the man.
So he she said to him, you either
have * with me,
drink this wine,
or kill this baby.
Well, he figured,
you know,
the
the least of all evils is
to drink the wine.
So ultimately that
he drank the wine,
then
had * with her,
and then killed the child.
Do not yell on him.
And so that's why
come
it's basically you lose your intellect.
I mean, that's it.
Like, the it's it's the mother of all
evil. It's the key to all evil. You
basically lose your intellect. And after you've lost
your intellect, that's it.
There there is there is there are
no bounds
to the evil that you could commit
after you have lost your intellect.
Obey your parents even if they command you
to
abandon your world. Abandon your worldly possessions.
Now we've spoken about this before.
When you when
you let the hadith
seep into your heart,
like, impact you.
But at the same time,
we understand the effect of this.
Because what if your parents ask you something
that is nonsensical,
non purposeful,
will harm you, will not benefit them.
You don't need to do it.
You don't need to do it because we
will read this hadith
within the context of other Hadith,
as well.
So when a man proposes
to when a man like, I'll give you
just like a simple example.
And we we can take take just, like,
a few examples to highlight this point. We
said before that belongs
to
Maruf. Maruf is what is known to be
good.
So it means sensible.
It means permissible.
It means also purposeful.
Sensible, permissible,
purposeful.
And we said that which,
benefits them and does not harm you.
They have a purpose,
benefits you or benefits them,
and it does not harm you. Then you
have to obey them.
But,
Imam Ahmed came to Imam Ahmed and said
to him,
my father
asked me to divorce my wife.
Should I divorce her? Imam Ahmed said to
him, no.
Don't divorce her.
So he said to him, but
Omar,
he
ordered his son
to divorce his wife. And you know Ibrahim
ordered Isma'il to divorce.
But Omar ordered his son to divorce his
wife. So Imam Ahmed said to him what?
If your father is Omar, divorce
Simple.
Omar is Omar. He would not demand anything
that is unjust, unfair.
So it's just as simple as that.
And
moreover
moreover,
not only that, even before you get married,
didn't the prophet
say,
you know, that,
So if a woman marries herself off without
the permission
of her
without the permission
of her,
what they her guardian,
or custodian,
then her nakah is invalid.
Okay?
What did the prophet
say about
the thereafter?
If they dispute,
then the sultan
is the guardian or the custodian
of those.
The then the sultan is the
sort of ultimate guardian, ultimate custodian.
What does the sultan mean here? Does it
mean that you'll always go to the king?
You'll go to the court. That's the sultan
here. You'll go to the court.
So, like, a man proposes to a woman.
Her father says, no. You're not getting marrying
him.
Does this woman have the right to take
her father to court? Yes.
Now this is the prophet who's telling you,
the same prophet who's telling you,
even if they tell you to abandon your
worldly positions.
He's telling you,
you can take him to court.
You can take your father to court
because
if
the father
is doing a hard
is preventing,
obstructing
his daughters from marriage
for
nonsensical reasons,
then
the daughter has the right to take that
father to court.
Having this piece of information
next to this hadith
or next to the statement of the prophet
will balance things out.
And that is the that is basically
the the the whole
project
of scholarship is to to
be able to take everything in consideration
and to not look at one piece of
information
in isolation
from
the rest of the pertinent,
data
or or knowledge.
So in this case,
why why is the prophet
say even if they tell you to abandon
your worldly positions,
he's basically telling you if it is sensible,
profitable, and purposeful,
even if it would require some effort. It's
it's it's exaggeration
exaggeration
to underscore point.
And, yes, the prophet used the exact underscore
points.
Would he have ever burned people because they
didn't come to the congregation
prayer? Would have really went out and burned
the people because they didn't show up for
the Salat al Jamayah?
No. But he wanted to underscore a point.
Here, he's underscoring a point, you know, that
sometimes
it will
sometimes it will cost you to obey them.
Sometimes it will inconvenience you to obey them.
It will cost you. It will inconvenience you.
Sometimes
to obey them, but still obey them. So
it's it's an exaggeration to underscore
a a point.
Then he says, well,
and don't contend with the those on authority
even if you say even if you believe
that you are in the right.
We've gone over the the this would be
to take, like, 2 years to talk about
this, but we've gone over this in,
after on rebellion.
You can go back to it.
And then he says,
and don't run away from the battlefield.
And we know this.
And, basically, spend on your family
out of your means. Now we come to
the last thing.
Or in some reports,
from them.
Do not,
lift your stick from your family.
Do instill in them, fear for Allah, the
almighty,
So
do not lift your stick from your family.
What does that mean?
You know? So, literally, it would mean that
you would be old
always
old and you're sick.
And you're always ready to bring it down.
You're always ready to bring it down. Now
so when you look at this when you
look at this,
some people who feel that you don't have
to explain anything and you just say it
like it is,
but, you know,
the the the problem is not that they
have extra courage.
The problem is that they have,
you know,
less wisdom
and lack of knowledge.
Even,
you know, before,
before modernity and before all of that stuff,
This
basically
this posed a a a problem
to the scholars even in the time of
Imam Abu Ta'ari.
But Imam Abu Ta'ari, you know, the the
greatest professor,
Ibn Jarir,
He founded his own method, but it didn't
survive.
He himself
said
that it's problematic.
You know?
First of all,
he said this to Habib al Athar.
He
said,
this is problematic.
Why is this problematic?
This is problematic because it doesn't look anything
like, something the prophet would say.
If you take it literally,
If you take it literally, it wouldn't look
anything like the prophet would say. Because
we know that the prophet
never
hit a woman or a child.
He himself
so the ideal
he he himself is the ideal. He never
hit a woman or a child.
So how come the person who
was praised
by, you know, never hitting a woman or
a child,
says this?
Now
the prophet, salawasalam, himself, when Fatima bintaqais, 3
people proposed to her, and one of them
was Abu Jahan.
What did he say to Fatima?
He said,
Abu Jahm is always having his stick on
his shoulder.
Don't marry him.
So he's telling Fatima, don't marry this man.
And in some reports,
He hits women.
He does not bring his his stick down.
So he's telling
Fatima Nana to marry him.
Can he then come back and say to
people, keep your stick up, like, you know,
ready to come down?
Likely not,
if you if you take
it literally.
If you take it literally.
Now
the prophet
himself said,
don't hit the, slave,
women
of Allah.
It's a prohibition.
Don't beat don't hit the slave women of
Allah.
Then the companions came back to him and
said,
The women became rebellious.
And then he
then he permitted
hitting them.
And then the women came back and said
to him,
you know, or he said
So, you know, many women came came by
to the households of Muhammad,
and all of them were complaining of hitting.
And you will not find those people
to be among your best. You will not
find
those men who hit
their women to be among
your hiyar, your best.
All of this exchange
means what?
Means that it's a better,
medicine,
for a final stage,
disease
that may be used in limited cases
with
certain women, not all women, by certain men,
not all men.
Because
the
the base, the, the, the basic teaching of
the prophet, what did the prophet say?
1st,
don't hit the the slave women of Allah.
Then they came back to him and they
said the the
women became rebellious. It's it's it's impossible.
Like
because
within
any structure, within any institution, within any unit,
like the family unit,
there has to be authority.
There has to be
someone
exercising
authority.
Otherwise, it will fail
in a company, in a in a in
a country, and there has to be someone
exercising authority. Otherwise, it will fail.
This authority can be
almost always
exercised
without hitting.
And that is basically the way of people
with sound nature. That is the way of
the wise people with sound nature.
Sometimes,
certain women
and in certain
conditions
and this is basically when it was mentioned
in the Quran, it was mentioned within the
context of what? Nushuz, rebellion.
So
exhort them, abandon them in bed, and then
hit them.
What is the context? The context is rebellion,
which is basically
it is basically
the fine the
like, the the the family itself
is at the cliff.
So
something happened that needs to happen
to
bring it back together
or it will fall apart.
That is the scenario of
Nashuz.
The family is now at the cliff.
So someone will have to
wake up
or it will fall apart. And, certainly, I
have, you know, like, an entire,
paper on hitting women.
It's at the end of.
It's one of the appendices in.
So you may go back and refer to
it.
So this hadith what what do you do
with this hadith?
What did the Tabari do with this hadith?
We're not talking about, you know, modernist people
or liberal people or any what did the
Tabari do with this hadith? He said,
it's problematic.
You know, we're getting conflicting messages here
from the prophet.
He said,
some people said
These are
weak
chains of narration.
Din cannot be established
by them.
Hakam cannot be established by them. So some
people said, we're not taking this.
That's it. Not not that it was their
answer.
That is basically transmission.
So some people said, I'm we're not taking
it. It it's not transmitted
through chains
that would
confer
confidence
that the prophet said it.
We said
that
everybody until
all of these narrators until
are questionable, but they are not liars.
That's the problem.
You know? Some of them are weak, but
they're not
liars.
And
yet
when you have
Mohammed Abdul Aziz, Abdul
Muhammad.
None of these is the cut. None of
these are trustworthy narratives, but you have corroborations.
You have this hadith coming from Awadaw bin
al Samad and other Sahaba. You have some
corroborations.
That's why some people believe
that it it is established.
Okay. So if you say,
if if you don't accept it,
then you have
basically not accepted it.
However, we do have,
you know, a verse in the Quran
which does
sanction
hitting.
And then some say,
it is established.
Said,
some said,
it is traceable to the prophet.
They were they felt comfortable enough to say
that this was traceable
to the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. Those
people who felt comfortable enough to say it's
traceable to the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
then disagreed over the meaning.
Some
said,
one thing that nobody said
is the literal meaning.
It it is basically to to keep your
stick up because
that's,
you know,
that's terrifying.
You know? Like, there is
no family life that can be had
if someone is just, like, keeping their stick
up all the time.
So nobody
nobody
said that it means what it would mean
literally
to keep your lipstick up all the time.
But some said it means that
it means
hitting,
Really?
Conditional.
Conditional.
Conditional?
How how how is it conditional?
It's not with all,
women
because for for many women, that does not
work.
It is not in all scenarios. That is
only for grave
scenarios.
It is, as the prophet said, not,
harmful. It doesn't cause bruising. It doesn't break
bones. It doesn't cause bruising.
It is
almost symbolic as Abdul Laban Abbas said,
It's like hitting by the.
You know?
Or. This.
So what is this? Is this beating?
Abba
said,
So by the you do it by the
or
I mean, that
that hurts.
But at the end of the day, is
that really beating? It's not beating.
It is as if it is like a
like a red light, like a warning sign,
you know,
where and this is about to fall apart.
The whole thing is about to fall apart.
Why is a woman unable to do this
in reciprocation?
She is able to do it,
but not by herself.
By taking
Because if
work out.
And she may suffer.
So
is she allowed to take him to court?
Yes.
And specifically say that he would be beaten
if he's mistreating her.
Okay. But you just can't say to them,
like, you want to save this family,
and,
you know, the one person in authority
is try
is given
that license
to save the family
within
these
conditions that that we've talked about.
At the end of the day, the ideal
is the prophet, and he never hit a
woman or a child. At the end of
the day, this
is contingent on maslaha.
Because when the prophet said don't beat them
or don't hit them, and they came back
and they said they became rebellious, said, okay.
Hit them. And they came back the woman
came back and they said the the men,
you know, overdid it, and he said these
are not the best among you.
This tells you what?
That this is a prescription
based on Maslaha,
based on the benefit harm ratio
the benefit harm ratio. You want to keep
the family together.
You know that in certain circumstances with certain
women and, you know,
things may not otherwise work out, and the
family may fall apart.
So you're trying to save the family based
on the benefit harm ratio,
not based on,
a default ruling
a default ruling because the default is that
the prophet said to them, don't beat them.
Don't hit them.
Okay.
So some people said it means
hitting,
condition on hitting.
Some people said
it does not mean hitting.
This hadith does not mean hitting
because
this is an expression,
an ex oppression,
the mean do not forfeit your authority.
When you say because that is also something
that people
need to be,
to come to terms with.
We're not like, even the Arabs among us
are not really Arabs in the sense of
speaking the language
natively
like they spoke it during the time of
the prophet.
Even during the time of Imam al Tabari,
that was lost.
You know? So the people who
understand it perfectly
are the people who received the wahi,
the people who received the wahi themselves.
So he the they say that this could
mean
do not forfeit your authority.
Because what is the what does it mean
when
Let the stick of the Muslims.
It means what?
Cause the disunity or, you know, cause disruption,
disunity, and so on.
So,
in this thing in this sense means
authority. So it means don't perpetuate your authority.
Whichever
whatever you will do with this,
the literal
meaning
is not applicable.
These are the 3 options that the scholars
talked about.
I am not taking it. It's not established
through proper transmission.
We're taking it. It means conditional hitting
because the Quran did speak of hitting. And
al Tabari chose this, by the way.
Wait a sec.
Choose this. Conditional hitting.
It means that
you you know, most of the time, it
means that you're not forfeiting your authority.
But
at some point, it could get to this.
It could it could finally get to this
at some point. Although it is not the
ideal,
as as we know from this era of
the prophet
and from
multitudes of statements
from the prophet.
He he he, you know, we we we've
discussed this when we discussed the Ahmedabad. You'll
find it in the appendix. He marveled at
the people who had their women in the
morning and then come in at the night
to embrace them.
He marveled at this
because that sounds so awkward.
You know, it just doesn't make any sense.
Like, how do you hit her in the
morning and embrace her at night?
So, anyway, the
the
I I think we we've gone a little
bit over time
discussing this. But as I said,
this is not like we we we are
questioning, we are problematizing
this
because of modernity.
A Tabari
needed to explain it because
it was problematic
to them,
and they needed to contextualize it. Because when
it comes to apologetics,
you will
have transmission.
So don't defend something that is weak. You
know, you don't need to because it's just
like weak.
2nd,
it would mean
meaning
and context.
3rd, because context affects the meaning.
You know? 3rd, it would mean application.
Application.
You you really need to be sensitive
to all of these
when you
doctrine.
When when you
is it established?
What does it mean?
You know? So when you talk about slave,
you start here.
You don't start here. Don't start here. You
start here.
Would Islam be interested in bringing it back?
No. Islam is not interested in bringing it
back.
You start here.
And then you go back here and here.
I mean, you don't need to go all
the way up, but you'll go back and
then talk about
the difference
between slavery and Islam
and slavery,
in other contexts.
But before you talk about the the contextualization
and the differences, you start here. Islam does
not want to bring it back. And
here here
are the points. Here are why I say
this.
So, anyway, I hope that we've done a
little bit of justice to this, hadith, but
this is a such a beautiful hadith. It's
really such a beautiful hadith.
Pay attention to all the nine points.
And whatever it is that you will come
to
get out of the last statement,
I
personally
believe that the last statement is about not
forfeiting your authority,
not forfeiting your authority
as the head of the household,
and it's talking about your household and not
just your spouse. Alec,
spend on your family. Spend on your household.
From your means, do not forfeit your authority
with your,
with the entire household.
And finally,
make them have reverence
for Allah
and,
instill in them the fear of Allah.