Hatem al-Haj – #26 Fiqh of Family – Chapter on the Waleemah (Wedding Banquet)
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of marriage in American context and the need for personal invitation for events. They emphasize the importance of avoiding harm and considering behavior. The speakers also touch on the need for companionship and avoiding assumptions. The conversation ends with a discussion of the book on automa's food and the importance of colostrum and challah.
AI: Summary ©
From to proceed
this was going to be the last chapter in shoreline the Falco family
Babylon the chapter on the walima maybe he put it here because the next one will be about timeout and about you know foods and drinks and stuff like this or maybe he wanted to end on a good note the wedding party or the wedding banquet.
So,
the man
who died in the in 620 after the agency then his book on that effect which is very manual under the chapter of where the man wedding banquet who
can we add our to our to the horse way must have bellicose relies on the last element of the American house peanut butter who an amateur sandwich bye Baraka Allahu laka. I will live while I will be sharing
this the invitation to a wedding party and it is recommended because when of the Rockman Abner house, told him
that he had gotten married the messenger sallallahu wasallam messenger of Allah Azza wa sallam said, may Allah bless it for you have a banquet, even if if only with a sheep, if only with a sheep, okay, so now Allah Allah is basically to allow people in the community to share and happiness are the sort of the joy of this occasion marriage.
This is to encourage marriage, this is in the interest of the institution of marriage, it is a happy occasion, not only for the wife and her husband, but also for their relatives and for the entire community. So it does deserve some show of
gratefulness to Allah subhanaw taala to feed the poor, and to also share the happiness with the rich and it's an invitation for the poor and the rich.
So, he says here the invitation to a wedding party, and it is recommended because when not have enough
now, so, the first thing that we want to talk about is the ruling government EMA and whether when EMA is recommended, or it is obligatory, who said it is obligatory of nasm. Because when the Prophet says, I will let my husband take it to heart and He will say, second man, it means
it means an obligation because it's a command. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam used the verse in the imperative form, I will make our Lima
have wedding banquet.
But then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said what shall be given with one sheep?
Does walima does he have to give to make one email with one sheep consensus? No. Because the prophets of Allah Salaam himself, not always slaughter for the walima but sometimes he would provide sort of baked foods and things like that and so we can tamarin things that were not necessarily meat therefore, it's not obligatory and if it came in the same breath, both came in the same breath. The germ horse said Why are you making one obligatory when one is by consensus, not obligatory, the gym horse that also that will Lima, is it for the poor or the rich or both? Both is that it is is it like is a car that is given only to the poor or it is more like old hair that is given to the poor
and the rich? More lack of hair because it's for the poor and the rich? Is altay obligatory No, it is not. And then when Lima is not either, so but it was not only an enhancement, who said that when he was wired up, it was also some of the honeyberries medicals and cefa is the southern EMA as well as well. Although it is not the authorized position in any of the forum as I have been in the form of what EMA is recommended. Mr. Habana?
And let me know if I skipped anything. I'm starting to
what a debit to either you have it by decoder Rasulullah Salallahu Salam ala mujer. de la hora Sula, who accept accepting it is mandatory. accepting the invitation is mandatory because the Messenger of Allah sallallahu Sallam said and he who does not respond with
Have
this obey the law and His Messenger. Well, yeah, it is it is obligatory, but they put some conditions they put some conditions for this acceptance to be obligatory and we will say the conditions Now, keep in mind they said that it is mandatory to accept it because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said in a long Hadith several time and with the Matthew de la nia wildtrak Alfa Cara were men lamb Egypt, Salah Sudan, Oman, taraka Tao Africa de la hora sudo. So the worst food is the one EMA. So the province has said,
the only the rich are invited to it and they don't need more food, and the poor are not invited. And those are the ones who actually need the food.
Therefore, in the walima, it is certainly recommended and highly encouraged that you invite the poor as well.
And then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said
that whoever does not respond
to the DAO prior to the invitation, have this obey the law and His Messenger have this obey the law and His Messenger. Now, the 100 thieves do not consider this to be an obligate or an obligation to respond. Even Abdullah burger made the statement. And he said that,
that, you know, the saying of the prophet SAW Sutherland, whoever does not respond to have disobey the law as Muslims, or should they handled this agreement. It is not only the herpes, it's some other scholars also, that said that the walima, isn't it they're responding to the edema is not obligatory, and those who said it is obligatory, they started to put conditions for this obligation to be effective. One of the conditions is that one of the conditions Okay, first condition.
Let me say the first condition, although it's not the first with law, so no harm. Like if you were invited to our Lima, if you're invited to our Lima, and then you have work like and, like, you know, the time of your work or you are in coal or something or you have your child that you're taking to the hospital or whatever it is like you are busy, it could cause you harm would cause you hardship to respond. You don't have to so that is the first condition, no harm. The second condition is that it is a personal invitation.
They haven't jefra nakara there are different types of invitations there is our home and our house and then there is also the personalization. If this is the bow arm, this is a public invitation, you know, there is an announcement that went out in email or BCC
or it is
you know, like on the bulletin board and the master, you don't have to respond, you do not have to respond, you will have to respond if someone came to you or sent you a messenger
to you particularly, to invite you particularly. So, it is a personal invitation, that is when it is obligatory to respond to third one is that there is no harm in the walima no harm and alima
you say you Oberon sorry when he went to have the love No murders, son of the love, no murders sons were the man and he found the you know,
an ATAR mistura or he found the walls there are like curtains on the walls. And he said to him, what is happening you know didn t know that this is macro that the prophet SAW Southern forbade this. So after the webinar, Omar said Allah batla Nisa, you know,
sort of you know, so women, our women have taken over or have
overpower this.
So
are you upset to him and contraction you know, for
me, I would fear for many people but not you like because of that abnormal is known to be very strict in following the Sunnah of the prophet SAW Selim and then he got really upset. And he said that hodaka beighton bother the omada Aquila catarman I will not
I'll never step foot into your house after the today and I will never eat your food. Now, this is what you will learn sorry, this is the first host of the Prophet. So, you know, watch what you think not only what you say, watch what you think in your mind, this is the first host of the prophet SAW Solomon Medina, this is the one who could not you know, walk on the on
the ceiling under which the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was sitting. So, he was sitting in one corner out of fear that he would be walking over the Prophet sallallahu sallam. So this is and this is that we are I'm sorry, he died at the borders of Constantinople at the age of 80 some years.
Yeah. So But anyway, but the idea here is
and sometimes people people can use this sometimes and say, like,
for instance, any like invitation by non Muslims to any activity or any function or something like this, if you want to say that you should never go, you will find stuff, you will find proofs you will find
whether or not they are the they are probative proofs or not, that is a different story. But you will find stuff to bring up, you will find stuff to cite.
This is one of them. And then the honeyberries have a long list of whether if there is any harm in the even if there is makrooh you don't it is does not become an obligation. But if there is harm, you have the option here if it doesn't macro, to sit or to live. So sacral hitron, to have curtains on the walls as macro alongside you have the option here. But if there was like for instance, wine, then it would be you either stop it or leave, stop it or leave stop the Mancha or leave they give you those options.
Now, you can say this.
But at the same time, like you could say that the there is something called haka the alpha which is the right of being hospitable or right of hospitality. The prophet SAW said, sadhana drawn when they came to the Prophet sallallahu sallam,
and they visit him and his master the allowed them to pray their prayer in his own master, according to two more sub reports that corroborate one another and many of them have been accepted them, even mKm considers them authoritative. And this was his position that it is allowable and the position of many other scholars to allow them to pray their prayer in our massage.
If it is not, if they will not basically do this on permanent basis or regular basis, if it has happens randomly, because of you know, for hospitality, for to show hospitality to allow them to pray are their prayers in our master. This is called the offer of delivery. Mr. Ruud also was walking with the apartment that happened at Masada, like a priest, and they separated and then then then when they met the abdominal muscles, but I hope his setup he gave him Salah first, and then another tablet he was walking without the laburnum. So then he said to me, man, and I'm taking 10 hands Alec didn't use to forbid this parking, then we said I'm too big to start the non Muslims with
with Salaam and that's a controversial issue to begin with, but that is the position of the revenue. So there were other Sahaba who said that it is okay to start selam start to the mussalam like Abdullah bass, like a Buddha and other Sahaba In fact, remember Tamia Rahim Allah said that the Hadith where the prophet SAW Selim said, let him open the salon, don't start them with Salon apply to hobbies, they were going to war and he said don't start them with Sara because if you start them with salon, there is no war. You have given them the man you have given them security. But if it is determined that we're going to war against them, don't start them with seven so don't start to sell
them according to this interpretation applies to warring enemies, not all the conflict. And that is that that is the position of some of the Sahaba as well. But that was not the position of Abdullah Vanessa would have the Lebanon So who would position is that you don't start the monster. The non Muslims you don't start them with Sarah everything.
If they start with seranthony, say, same be on to you, but you don't start them with Sara
he can start with metallic Greetings, but not Santa, he can start them with other great things, but salon is specific for Muslims according to this interpretation of the and then So, the episodes he set me up I
didn't use the Fitbit this
then after 11 or so, it said now what I can have to suffer Yes, but it is the right of friendship, because or the right of companionship and walking, you know, we are companions, we are on a journey together. So, I made that exception.
What do you make of this you make that even when the default is one thing that happened meszaros factor then the right of soft rubber, the right of companionship.
And then also if you are if you're married to a non Muslim, if someone is married to non Muslim, the, you know, the many of the folklore of Islam would allow her in his home to hang across to drink wine to eat pork
and all that stuff, what is this happen? That is the right of marriage?
Yes, and then she will have to you'd have to wash her mouth if he
you know, he can he can demand her to wash her mouth.
So, that is called what you know the right have
sort of because this is these things are held on to her now.
So where do where do we draw the line? There are there are certain lines that are drawn? Certainly it is not like we are
there are certain lines that are drawn. But sometimes there are defaults. And there are exceptions, because of
the need of companionship, because of the need of mingling and mixing with people that creates exceptions from certain defaults
is not obvious. So can you lose sight of where you belong? Sorry, and say, you know, like any interfaith activity, you probably you should never go because if you apply the standard of avoidable Ansari, cats a very high bar, then you will never go anywhere, you know, you will never accept any invitation.
Should there be some exceptions? Yes, there would be some exceptions, but it is not. Certainly
without it's not without limits, there are limits of what we can do what we can partake in. Certainly, sometimes in these occasions, there would be Southern mishaps, surprising sort of circumstances that one may fall in and then they may ask Allah for forgiveness, if there is if it is possible for us to basically inform others of our protocol and inform others of our special needs. So that things are
basically
organized in a manner that will not cause us compromise. If it is possible, then we should, if it is not possible, then we fear Allah as much as we can. And if we slip and make some error, then we ask for forgiveness.
And that would be it. So anyway, the idea here is that
invitation to our Lima is not always mandatory, there could be
there are exceptions, if it will harm you don't have to go. If it is not personal invitation, you don't have to go if there will be haram at this party, you do not have to go if the man of the person that invited you, you know the person owns one liquor store and does not have any other source of income, except for that one liquor store, then it's not obligatory to go. And now is it permissible to go? likely not. If it is, if you know that the man is not motivated, the man is purely harm
Can you eat from the mouth that is purely haram not mocked a lot. Most people will have mouth that is mixed. But if someone has purely haram income, then you can't eat from their food.
So anyway, different exceptions here from the obligation of answering an invitation.
And then the sheikh said when he Jabba to LA Hawaii by decoder Rasulullah sallallahu ala momentum Egypt de la hora sudo and we're done with this
accepting him as mandatory MLM YouTube, MLM you have any there are one sort of he who does not wish to eat should just pay for them pray for them and leave he should just pray for them and leave.
Yeah, and so, you try as much as you can like, if you are fasting given it is preferable for you to to break your fast and to eat, if it is what non mandatory fast non mandatory fast. But if you do not want to eat you say Barack Obama when aku Baraka Lake Watanabe in a coma fire and that is the door that the prophet SAW some upset, someone who got married barakallahu lack of Baraka like
when tamahagane in a coma
fee Hi. So,
blessings for you and blessing. Give give give blessings for you get blessings upon you. And shower blessings for onto you. For you and unto you and join between you in goodness joy in between you in goodness barakallahu li Koba like we don't have a knock on effect or you could say Baraka hola como Baraka la cama de la Vina Kumasi, hi. Nice like for to both of you.
Finally, when Assad was to talk to whom Malka raha in Cosima Khalid Khalid in Canada we live
as for the scattering of treats, it is permissible, but disliked.
It is better if they are distributed among the attendees, it is better if they are distributed. Among the end. attendee attendees, mythos is when they used to throw like treats, and then people would catch or grab them. They said it is permissible, but this like it is disliked because it is not dignified. Can you imagine one of the big machines
is not dignified. So it is the slide but it is permissible. And that is where it that's the beauty of Islam, it shows you the peak of the mountain, but it tells you go up there at your own pace, go up there at your own pace. And if you don't get there, Allah is most forgiving. And you know, that's fine.
But the prophets of Allah said, and also when he slaughtered the has 100 camels, he said, manchaca he said, Whoever wants to grab a piece, let him grab a piece of Tata, whoever who wants to grab a piece lift and grab a piece. So people you know, have different sort of dispositions, and different aspirations. Islam does not force all the people to walk at the same place or to seek the same heights even
but gives them the sort of the base the lion and then allows them to to journey to Allah subhana wa tada at their own pace, according to their own capacity and their own resolve and aspirations. So that's the idea of an authority takato.
That brings us to the end of this chapter and when the wedding banquet, which brings us to the end of the chapter of the section on family laws,
or for colostrum and challah next would be the book on automa our food so
we are close to a lot
like the three to four months more I guess. It's practical and functional and stuff.