Channel: Hasan Ali
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You know I've seen over decades mashallah connect with him. I've known him for a couple of decades I'd say at least
we pray Allah subhanaw taala grants him tofield to present this reminder in a way that we're all able to benefit we've been using the Islamic Studies program known as suffer series, which he put together with the founder of suffer Academy and he put together amazing work amazing piece. And today I was even more impressed by the digital platform which they'll be introducing soon soon. We pray Allah to Allah cotta, Allah gives it his whole team, he Tofik to bring even better results as a means of communication with our younger generation much needed in the challenging times of today. And as you know, today's topic is about youth and challenges and this is you something you can't
really cover in an hour there's just so many challenges you know that are faced by youth today we have challenges in our young
but challenges our very young brothers and sisters are facing today even greater so we need these reminders more frequently. So that we develop ammunition we develop spiritual ammunition to be able to tackle these inshallah so without any further ado I'm going to be honest actually cause them to come I mean as usual informal way engage with yourself inshallah and provide some care
can I just quickly ask before we start that we fill in the gaps and downs will be on that side you can come over there's plenty of space over I can actually see your article my head over so those who are deciding to
come over here there's gap seats fill them up and this this whole camera thing is probably blocking your view so you can move to the sides it's fine. Let's configure the gaps
kids kids I want you to come over and look kids at the back from the back Come come come over come over. You got kids are back on camera and bring them bring them in because they want to sit there they're going to talk
to angels one on one you want to say
don't don't hide demanded cover the front.
line but men are human
beings salatu salam ala Sayidina. verbena, Muhammad Ali, he was on the ninth hour all the way with the Ministry logging or the spill anymore
of law or to a party he wanted to move to
to see more. So the whole
idea restricted brought brothers and sisters whether seeking a salon.
We're here to listen about the and to talk about the youth and the challenges. Now us have got of this generation, or today's time, they've got a lot of challenges, which are different from the challenges that we would have faced a generation ago. And yes, times are moving on times, I'm moving on and save the value of the Obama said, he said bring your children up for time for an era for a time. That is not your time. That is not your hero. And there's a lot of powerful, deep, powerful meaning in this incident. Again, bring your children up for a time that is not your time. What does that mean? That means the way you grew up the things that you learn the environment that you found
your you know, your nurturing in, the people that you have around you the technology or whatever might have been at your time was no technology, the village you might have grown up grown up in the time that was that yesterday. We talked about 40 years ago, 30 years ago. Today's time is completely different. So first is the parents have to understand that I'm bringing my children up in an age in a environment that I never grew up in. That's the first challenge. The second is that you're going to have to prepare these children for the future generation 30 years later, times are going to change
and things are going to you know develop into the into a way that you
never saw before. So that's our challenge. That's our challenge as parents as elders of the community, and saying that I have to make you aware that your children will come with challenges that you're not prepared for. Please take this on board, your children will come with a challenge that you're not prepared for things that you never did.
I never used to think like that when I was young. And it used to be like that, how can my Challenge Challenge me like this? Where is this coming from? And the usual thing to do is that, you know, husband was the wife, it's your child, your child did this wife goes to the husband, your child did this, when it's all good stuff, my child is mashallah my child got the ace die in the example in it. So notice that your child is the one that's always been naughty, that how old is your children? Okay, both of you have your genes in that child. Not only that is not just purely your genes.
That child is growing up and learning independently for many different factors. Number one is you and your wife.
Number two, is the siblings already who exist in the family, they're learning from them. Have you noticed when you got your first child, you know, the first child can get a little bit as much as the third child? Yes or no guys? Come on. Why? Because they already know our brothers, this sisters. Alright.
And by that time, you're busy anyway, you've got three children, you can't even check on them in one go. All right, you got the phone? We had one kid, it's so easy when you got to. Okay, it's a bit of Article we've got three. So
what do you got for law, how
it gets more and more challenging for you to manage them. Now we understand that your children are also learning from the school and schools, your children are getting information from the Internet, your children are getting information from social media, your children are being influenced by the next child in the neighborhood, your children when you set them out to play football in the local arena, or park, that meeting up with others who again, the kind of chat, the kinds of things that they listen to is shaping their minds, your children are now watching programs and films that have been, you know, developed in a way that we never saw we never had in those days. So again, is
developing over time, your children get to the age of let's say 12, or 13, the hormones are now kicking in. And they're gonna go to another situation once and they're gonna go to another big challenge. Now, let me take you briefly through those through those parts.
The first thing is, the period of them being I think it's zero to four, zero to four, these are psychological
studies of children and the development of the brain. If you actually look at it, you see how they move along, in this case, between us if there's one between zero to one, zero to one day, basically getting the coordinations, right. You know, the child is actually learning so fast, you don't even understand they're saying,
You know what that is? That's accurate language. They've done serious studies of the actual language. They've heard you say something like, Oh, my cute evil child.
He's trying to say in my q&a or Dad, how he can't say that they can't get his tongue in the right place, is coordination for like that. Even when they put their hands they can't sort of grab you. They're trying to grab with the beginning. Soon they learn how to grab you grab your clothes, grab your skin, and, you know, striped shirt left, okay? That's because they're learning about like, the learning about volume, the learning about space, the learning about emotions, the human is an incredible and amazing creation of Allah. But the learning is super, super speed. They say in the first five years, what the child learn, you don't learn for the rest of you 55 years, it's an actual
fact, the amount of the speed the brain moves that that, that the emotions of that and the body develops in the first five isn't how much they store in there. So how do I a child can pick up nine up to nine languages in the first five years of their life, as long as every adult who's speaking to them speaks in that one language. And we don't want to get into that in those first one or two years to get into the coordination right. In the next couple of years. What they're doing is the learning that they cook, these are the these sort of years of the child. All they're doing is they're mimicking they're copying. The brains have been registered. Why? So I know a lot of Muslim parents
again, really happy Masha Allah when I stood up for Salah my kid put a topi on his hair and make it stop sitting next to me looking at Papa when I'm going to go even to look at one is Saturday was
I've got sometimes on my back, you know, martial law my kids pregnant. He got a little giant llamas out is praying right next to
it fooling yourself. The kids is only mimicking you.
They will mimic you anything.
You saw swearing your pupils, I swear.
There are children out there in uniform. Many families who might swear kid sleds ethic wear f1 Every other time. Why? Because they're mimicking, that's when they don't know what to do. They want to please you they think they just want to pleasing, don't get excited when the child praise when they are six years old, five years old, seven years old. And
even if they learned father had parents get so excited, or do they hasten the Kanima? Yes, I know you shouldn't be happy. But you know what they are at that age of just copying. They're only copying you the copy whatever you put inside them like a parrot. They're just saying why? Because a lot put into their hearts that they want to please their parents. And that last usually up to about the age of seven.
After sending another development happens in children, seven to about the level seven to about 11. This age is that, okay? They've learned all that other stuff that maybe they've copied that you know, that gold code everything right?
Now, what they do is now they are learning whatever they will teach them, they put meaning to it, it's going in there. But it still hasn't formed that core part of their system, where they said, You know what, I've got a delete, I understand that the deal of this, I understand the evidence of this. And that's why I follow this, they don't understand anything like that. They just understand what in terms of for example, you can go across starting beliefs, you can tell them the stomach thing, this how we pray this, I want you to pray, I want you to do this, they will do it. As long as you're doing it. As long as you give me the right term, you're fine. But they don't understand the evidence
for it. And they're not looking for the evidence, you don't find a lot of 60 or 70. You know, saying to you, that was the heavy use for that data, give me the headings for that if you don't give me the Buhari IDs for that, that I am doing it that
you're not gonna get kid asking you for the need for me to do just do it because they want to do it. They understand it's for themselves, but they don't understand the reason why. And they're not looking for the evidence when they get to the age of 11. And
another transformation happens inside them. Now, they want evidences for why they're doing what they're doing. It's a natural process of the human being. Right? And the human as it's developing. He wants to reason with itself. I'm here I'm doing this, why am I doing? What's getting me? What's the benefit? Where is all going? Right? These questions coming in. Now, it's a very crucial thing.
I want to ask most of you have this been streamed? Why is it that are marked up systems in mustards across the, across the western world? In the UK, as well as many other countries? Why are we in the formative years of the child from age of four or five, till the age of 1112, we've got them engaged in a marked up system that coming to engage in the learning at the same amount will lie overnight, and they will continue? Let's say what are the colors, the drivers the days and that we all assign the goods by the time they get to the age of 12? As soon as their brain says Where's all the evidence for this? I want to know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm growing right now. I'm being a
human different. I mean, I'm evolving. I'm different from what I was before. Why is it at that is that we actually stop them from coming to the Why do you make the Quran fundamental to go? Why? This is the age when you really needed them. We need them before that, yes, don't get me wrong, we need them for that. But this is the prime kit when you need them. Now let's get to those things. Because these are the challenges. We're not living in the middle of Bangladesh, India, Egypt or Iraq or Somalia. Okay. Actually, it's very easy to sort out those kids in Bangladesh or Somalia or Pakistan are actually very easy. But as
you just say, Son, what you doing, you're questioning whatever, you know, we don't do that. How dare you blah, blah, in Fahrenheit.
You say a few words to them or you know, I've been in Bangladesh.
I've been there my life. I was born here in the UK, but I spent two whole years in Bangladesh and many other things.
Because among many, many several trips, but two entire years are spent, and I love this, what the system over that. And one of the things over there, and I'm not just going to talk about Bangladesh, Bangladesh, Pakistan, this is India is Egypt, this is this is Middle Eastern countries, these are the Muslim countries, you know what they do over there in the eastern side? They you just do you follow in question, and very less, that's how the system has been made. is done. That is how we do it. We just say this, how we do it that way your father standing? You know, we've always done it for generations. This is the process we said it is true, right? Done, do it. Follow? Do as you see,
very little questioning. There are, there's a very small level of tolerance of you asking hard and difficult questions about religion, about why we do the things we do.
And the system works. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with you going live in those countries, when you grow up in a year when Muslims just do it. And unless you get some outside influence coming to you, and you know, making you think you just do it, everybody did it. And that's how religion is. There's no further questions ask. When I went to Bangladesh for my one year study, and I started asking, I'm not asking any other questions. I'm asking questions about my own studies of the Hadith book. I've been trained in the UK, I was very, very lucky to have the, the teachers that I have in the UK, that my teachers, many of them were Pakistanis, some of them were
from Bangladesh, some of them from India. They encourage us to ask questions in the class over a democracy system. And I asked Mr. Asked Question that my teacher should have commanded Allah, He said to us, he said, If you boys stop asking me or ask the teachers questions, that we will stop studying further, and we will stop our preparation of coming to the lesson, we want you to ask the question, the more questions we ask the further challenges we take our teaching us to be extra happy. Then one day, I'll go to Bangladesh for my final this study that I've just opened my mouth, and did I commit a crime?
Gonna start on Friday, I was in a class of 40 people in Bangladesh, same same my daddy systems, my family asked the question about a hadith. And straightaway, the monitor that I got from my teacher was like, How dare you ask such a question? Where it's almost like, do you have respect for your teacher?
all these countries without you? Yeah, there's very little, there's only a few teachers a few in those countries, because their system is different. Don't get me wrong. I'm not I'm not here to criticize them. That's their system runs like that.
And if you want to ask you ask very specific to certain people who could take it from you who understand you, I remember who want to teach up over who could ask him anything. And he would give me a good answer. Or he would say, I don't know. And you know what, I love that teacher, Bangladesh.
I love how I should go to his room and I still have it privately live from wherever I could you know why? Because you only find certain people who are open minded, who can listen to you listen to your question that go beyond the book, they go beyond your culture, and they're still able to give you that answer or say to you simply, let me look at it further. And I'll come back to you. Now, let's come back to our challenges here, the UK, you're a parent, you've taken your children to the formative years, you are probably not prepared for some of the challenges that your children will come up with the teachers who are in the mathematics, some of them may not be prepared, but please
understand all Young's continuities, if you've ever come across a just there's so much little time that I know that I've got today to cover this.
If you ever come across parents who have shut you up, parents will never allow you to speak parents will never allow you to express what's inside you. If you ever came across teachers who just meant to shut you down, they shut your system down. If that ever happened to you, please understand that is not the end of your search for understanding Islam. Don't make any mistake just because you went to one teacher, one parent, one uncle one someone in the community just shut you up and shut you down and said How dare you ask such a question? Or you think my god is that what is done is about these guys come in and answer my question. And then you basically you shut down you say, Look, this
this thing is not for me. This religion is not for me. You've made a massive mistake. Because you're searching or being with people who can actually I can give you an answer. I've had many youngsters come to me. Many people look through my travels I've met many people are actually some of the things that lead our youth awaiting a snap.
If you're a parent and you're trying to get your child to to be on the team, don't be too eager.
If you push him too far, you're gonna lose them. And if you don't give them enough Islam, you're gonna lose them. Please remember this, you have to have the badness. You have to give them a stamp of teaching, you have to bring them to the masjid. You have to send them to a learning center. You have to carry them, you're dropping them off to the masjid and let them learn. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But don't be too eager. Whatever you're doing, but you're eager. Don't be over protected. Don't make life difficult for them. Give them some room for playing, give them some room to breathe. Give them some social time, give them a normal life, if they're deprived of all of that in their process of
learning heavy or in the process of learning that whatever it is that you do them, and they feel like you know what, you know what, as a young kid, as a teenager, I've been deprived of what all my teenager friends did. And if they feel that inside, you gave the hardly anything for them to breathe or for them to have that social life. They know what they'll do it, but then they'll leave it all and I've met people like that machetes
Don't be over eager. But at the same time, the opposite is true. If you don't set up the site, if you don't set that learning pieces, if you don't give up
easily, oh, you know what to do today? Okay, okay, I'll give
you the parent or the kids a parent.
Or you the parent or your kid is dependent right now. They demanding how they want to learn. They tell you no, it's too difficult. They tell you you don't want to go there. You know what most of these come with parents getting the wrong you haven't got the balance yourself and getting the right so don't be overly eager and don't underperform with this because either way you're going to lose your children you give you if you don't get enough discount, they're gonna grow up to become what we call I'm sorry, forgive me for saying this coconuts.
brown on the outside and you know, on the inside, this is gonna be something totally different. They're not gonna want any of this is going to be like okay, yeah, mashallah Quran. Yeah, you know, just put it on the shelf, I just have a bit of, you know, recitation here that that's it, that's my stomach, the loads of silica, I'll give some charging. But you know, I'm not I don't, I don't, I don't put myself towards this kind of religion. You get these people watch anyone for them to come in a masjid like this, to pray on a carpet like this, even though it's clean. It's still got, you know, so many, you know, bugs inside that carpet. So it's a bit for them to shift and get close to
all those Muslims extra damage, and breathe in these kinds of holes with 500 Muslims, whatever, oh, my god, oh my god, what is it going to be over, but to get out of it.
That's one extreme that another religion that I want to get out of Muslim community, they want to have that kind of stuff. And the other extreme is this, that you give them so much of it, you give them so much of it, that they want to break away from all of this. The moment they get their freedom, they're gonna go and find a girlfriend, the moment they get the freedom, they're going to be smoking, they're going to be called watching sorry, they're going to be out there watching binge watching whatever they miss the moment they're going to get the thing Netflix is going to say, Ah, you're the first time it's finished all the techniques.
NAP is gonna say you need a whole you finish the whole of nationals. Oh my god, what are we? What are you up to? What are you thinking?
They're gonna go out, because that's the two extremes. Okay, so let me tell you in between that.
Your job is to make sure your children grow up in balances of everything.
Give them Islam enough at each stage, please don't be over here, don't you, you know, falls to the too early to try taking all this on. Because in the primitive years, they're not ready. But when they get to the age of wanting to know the delille a one time the evidence. If with a teenager, you give them good reason why they're doing things, especially in the western world is actually the difference between the Eastern world and the Western world. Your child is not in Bangladesh, your child is not in Somalia.
I tell you one story we had the Somalian child. This is going back about maybe 18 years ago. 1816 years ago, we had the smiling child in a madrasa and the smiling child was quite low tea, that particular one, again, in no form or any way of being racist. But in that particular one was quite low deep, right? Very challenged. Actually one thing about the surrounding community that very intelligent people
hide highly intelligent, but that comes with another price, that highly intelligent, highly challenging as well, because you feel that intelligent, you're going to challenge and I find this argument to be very highly intelligent. So anyway, he's been a bit naughty. We tried to sort him out. We canceled you out. We kept him in the mother Samantha. One day he disappeared. He stopped coming to a McDonald's, or was he come?
After four months or six months he really appeared to read
emerged as a new individual. He's been assaulted. He's not naughty anymore.
Why would you say you're right?
As I talk to a lot of other groups that I'm okay.
Why would you do in six months?
My dad took me back to Somalia
we said what happened over there? He said Don't ask me what happened. He said over there Somali ran with their laws and the tribal laws, they sorted this kid out I
don't ask me what happened. I leave it to your imagination to think what happened with this kid. He lost a lot of weight and he got a little bit taller. But that kid was so era. Now you can do this with certain kids in a certain age group. I tell you one thing yet, with your child's growing up in the West, living in the West, growing up in front of you in a house where you've got you've got every comfort around them, you have to be on the ball to give them is man. Give them Islam. Teach them do the target. Don't overdo it. Don't under do. Okay. Each day is taken out and they go into that that thing about asking questions, let them ask. Let them have an open good relationship with
you. I remember when I was young, you know what, whatever my challenging questions were. I used to come to a mother.
The earliest earliest I remember I used to come to my mom. Alhambra. My mother is a daughter of an imam. Rahim Allah, Allah, may Allah have mercy on us, she has passed away. I love Miss Emma, she was the daughter of an imam. And she was born on behalf of the Quran. And she had read extensively. And when I used to come home, and I had this question, I used to come from school. You know, there's little just got a question because I've gone to school with into kids, with Christian kids, with, with atheists, with people from all sorts of backgrounds, right? And I'm coming home with questions. And my mother used to give me good nice simple answers. And I think that that's an answer. I can I
can I can live with that. That's good. That's good. And then live. Further questions was my great teacher model further him from older who used to teach in Nottingham. Through him I sorted most of those questions. And further any questions I had as senior teachers, other teams I went to now you have western children with you know, the Western education system is question and question and question or question again, their system is based on questioning question your teachers question your elders question everybody. question your own existence? Do you even exist? Question everything that
your kids are living in the Western education system? You understand from day number one, they make them question, you know, by the time I got to my masters,
they don't teach us I said, What are you guys doing in the Masters class?
You should be questioning every author, you come across a question that books the authors, your teachers, the system, keep question, rejected, rejected. And that's what they're telling us. You understand your, your, your whole system, you know, this system of the West, if you understand where it comes from, it comes from 2000 guild system. The whole of the Western education comes from a 2000 years old system, from the Greek heritage of Greek philosophy. If you go back to Plato to Aristotle, you go back to Socrates, you go back and see the Greek civilization that became the hub and the basis the foundation of all Western civilization. They question us philosophy, their love of wisdom,
and from there the question of question and question, they question the teacher, they question the system, they question everything that question God.
Why do you think why do you think Christian Well, had a huge problem with the Roman Empire. Why? Why the Greek civilization of the Christian world have crashed and crashed. 314,000 Scientists died at the state over killed in Europe in the dark ages 340,000 scientists and who killed the Christian religion? Why? Because they were heretics. Why? Because the questioning of the questioning God, they tried to contain these different animals. These two things that was causing them frustration, the Christian world was in mayhem. They want to they want to kill off the sons in the end, they couldn't do anything. Then the church broke off. If you know the history of this country, the church broke
off from the actual from the actual system itself.
So you had the church on one side you had the system of government on the side and the lake
You want it completely, you know, so from King Henry the eighth time was a massive bust up and they changed the whole church, the whole system changed to a different church system, then 1800 The Parliament started. So once the parliament came into power, what happened is they put the monarchy separate, which was
a people can kind of Microsoft System, okay. Rulers, and politics can different the monetary system was with the church, the government was without the church. And they then continued from 1800s Okay, this is now you're talking another 200 years, where now you got liberal democracy, forget governance, you call it Liberal Democracy Now, you know, the the questioning and questioning that question and then it became, you know, they separated religion from the, from the state, the state that governments and the religion became separate, dead, he was like, you can do whatever you like,
soon enough, look at that, look at the culture of living, you do what you like, you will not identify yourself as a clock that become two o'clock.
you got people loving buildings that fall in love with the building, there are people who, who fall in love with animals, and it's completely but you want to do a free your independent, whatever, it's, it's a system where, you know, whatever, as long as the state law is not being broken, you can do whatever you want within that me. So religion has become separate. Now, you and me are Muslims growing up in such a country and such a system, you have to understand the challenges that you're gonna get this complaint on another level?
And what are you going to do? You just got to let the kid know, you just got to do it. No, give them a reason give them understanding. Most children who walk away from the stand because actually one thing that we've got a massive problem and the challenge, which is our own children are walking away from our religion.
There was a Pew Research study done. Two to three years ago in America, they found from their research, 23% of American Muslim children identify themselves as atheists, and people with no religion 23% That's one in four of us in America, the stats here will be lower, but nonetheless, it exists. And the reason why it exists is because number one, but 10 It is these are the reasons why our chakra leaving Islam
the number one, why are the children leaving Islam, the leaving Islam because one of the major reasons is they look at their elders, their parents, their uncles, their teachers, their most leader for the most community people or the masjid Musa is someone from the community who identified them as religious appeared to be very non religious, and that's a massive reason why children are moving away from snap. So either the parent for example, the parent says, you know, don't swear don't drink don't smoke, don't do the strike, but apparently, the man sponsors the man prepared to find the smokes the father says it's okay it's okay if you don't do
he wants to stop he started by he's an E is a person who's likely to demonstrate to me
you know, all of the wrongs that he's done, he chose not to do father comes home drunk, father comes home drunk beats the mother,
child children witness this massive reason for them to say, what is this? Is this the same guy that told us same dad that told us to be religious to go to the masjid to go and pray to go and you know, live a life in Islam, and that's my dad was doing that. Mother doesn't wear hijab, once the daughter to wear hijab, you think that's gonna happen when he might happen Allah guy, Allah can do that. But there's going to be a very small percentage of such girls are going to wear the hijab and the old mother is not wearing it. And you want these children to grow up to become religious people that they're seeing this attend another conflict. Father has a haram business father is doing dodgy
stuff. And then the children witnessed and the children grow up with that and they learn from the mothers of the month of
the living with a dilemma. My dad is going to harm business with fed near haram giving me a haram but yet my teacher was telling me Islam says Don't you know don't go the Haram pathway. It's a massive clash.
Mother and father children we religious follow Islam to all of these diseases, and these are real cases.
One of them one that you Instagram says, you know, we're all Muslims, right, guys, all Pakistanis. Somalis here Egyptian you
against Bangladeshis every community whichever one I haven't mentioned we almost gonna say yes or no they're gonna behave and say yes
because they grew up with the teacher said more Muslims they stand to grow Muslim the parents are here mashallah we are 1.8 billion Muslims on the earth
Yes, the kids are great through this one day when the kid grows up and becomes 22 years old. He's a, he's a bumbling kid, okay, from Golden Boy. And then he's fallen in love with a Pakistani girl. And she's refusing a job and she's praying, everything's fine religion is all there it comes home and says I want to get married to me
or the other way round.
The other way around. A Pakistani girl wants to come out to
the west of India.
your board decides they're going to be smaller than what you eat.
gonna change, you're gonna become different people live.
I mean, if he's maybe an Indian,
but lateral aura.
Oh, for example, he wants to marry an African Muslim, African South Africa. Oh my god, you want to challenge the real stuff. The real cases. You know, I'm talking about people who've been through this work kids who've been boycotting boycotting family boycott today, just because they got married to a Muslim Muslim man from the same community religious practicing from a different country and like a boycott for 10 to 20 years.
I know what's gonna, what's gonna happen to that person is gonna say, is that my Islam? Is that what they've preached to me? Is that what the book said? The Quran said, the Imam preached the Muslims in my community. The mother taught me my parents even said, I'm gonna get to that state. And they say to me, now you can't do it. Because they're from a different culture, there are no other reason to have turning them away.
Massive reasons for for children to attend another one. And it happens. And let's not be shy away from this.
There are this sometimes now you will project to somebody's abuse, abuse from the family. But but it's a huge reason why somebody would never want to be enough. If that person identifies them, as a Muslim, who goes to geven July, Salah who goes to Toronto goes to the masjid who identifies them as a Muslim, and they've abused someone in the family, whatever form of abuse that might be, whether it's physical or verbal, but the child was abused when they were young, that says a massive reason for them to say, I don't want this Islam, is that why somebody's out of the system.
Another reason why they want to leave, although they're not engaged in some is because you gave them a very, very shallow understanding of Islam
is too shallow, there's no depth at all. You might have had private tuition. I don't know I'm saying this. And it's gonna be recorded in stream. I'll take all of you here right now. private tuition. And online learning is a secondary thing that you might do is not your primary thing. It doesn't replace the real teaching a learner. The real learning is in a class environment, in the masjid, amongst other Muslim, let them grow being part of the community of Muslims. Why do you realize that your children are your own identity, your identity, my identity, a massive part of it is because I have grown up with so many similar people who think like me, who act like me, who know what I know,
who are same as me in their religious beliefs. And I've seen them, I've grown up with them. And that's why I feel comfortable in my identity as a Muslim. If you have private tuition at home, they've only had the siblings learn in the day, they've only had that one teacher, they haven't been part of a greater community of Muslims, if you have an online learning, they've learned from the screen from a guy who's in Pakistan, who's teaching them Quran from a guy who's in Egypt, teaching them, they're not really engaged, they're not building the identity with so many other Muslims, you know, your identity of human behavior, it becomes something that develops over time when you live
amongst the same people with the same identity with the same behavior.
So if you look at for example, if you look at the community of plumbers, there'll be a certain way, if you look at a community of lawyers that act a certain way. If you look at the community of letters,
Hola ma people come to modality, the settlement that act a certain way. If you look at the community of builders there have a set of attitudes such an epic set way of doing things because they've grown up their time spent years with the builders, or with plumbers with engineers, with people who if you look who you grew up with people who worked in office for 30 years, or 20 years, they all have a certain attitude. If you grow up with people to live with people go to clubs, who go to clubs, and who's to do whatever in the club, they have a certain attitude. If you go and meet drug dealers, drunk people sell drugs, they have a certain attitude because human behavior, it makes other humans
act the same way the more that he was come together in a unit the make others act the same way. And you my friend, as a Muslim need to understand your greatest Islamic identity is being amongst a lot of Muslims
and learning from them and modifying yourself with them. Naturally, it's going to happen. So I'll tell you one big reason why should our trauma lead it's not because they were shallow. They never had damage Islam in the first place. They just learn how to read Quran, they learn the Quran, there are some profiles in America who memorize the entire Quran but then we'll never deepen the mess with the Quran. And they even left Islam.
They finish the heads of the entire Quran. Cover to Cover. They finish in time they were young eight and don't forget, look at that age when you're 11 on your team when you're 1230 Okay, you still not getting to the time when you can question anything. They were given Islam powered fashion, rote memorization, never understood, understood the reasons behind it. And then what do they do after that? When they got to the age when they understood thing they just
I've gotten on my heart it's not like this. If you don't treat the love if you don't create the connection if you don't get the message of the Quran, if through your understanding they don't connect with the words of Allah Allah. Allah Allah Islam if they don't understand what is the worry what the revelation is not just putting a certain you know, pictures on the walls because that's what most most most Muslims across the world that made the Islam in touch with the following things you walk in the Muslim house you're gonna see hula hula dinars.
calculon Richard mais calligraphy on the wall you're gonna find after pushing them for a wall you're gonna find out Quran in the house, you're gonna find a Quran and a nice nice top shelf is nice got a nice decoration around it maybe it's covered with something okay, you're gonna find certain art artifacts in the hospital Allahu Muhammad written on it. Okay, you're going to find a dynamite you can find it there prayer maxima you're going to find it to see what a pair of beads inside and you're gonna hear from the from the Muslim parents in the house. You're gonna hear Mashallah. You're gonna hear Inshallah, you're going to hear hamdulillah you're going to hear salaam WA. You're going
to hear these kinds of you know few phrases Yeah, inshallah inshallah Masha, Allah, Allah, isn't that right?
That's about it.
That's excellent. And those people that go to they may go to Joomla every week many do but they definitely will go Ramadan to the masjid or they'll go or lead to leads to the masjid or they'll have you know, that have all the martial arts inshallah and gala gala kind of stuff yet all the way talking about Allah, Allah insha Allah Masha Allah but it means nothing. It means absolutely nothing. And unfortunately, a lot of the Arab nonpracticing community are like that. I've met so many Arab students of mine who have told me in our house, this is the level of Islam when you go when you're home you're always here Allah Masha, Allah insha Allah Hamdulillah you know what,
there's no slap
or you go to the other extreme you'll find you know, Muslim parents in that inside the house, they will get they will have a slap in one time like for example, the woman will pray herself mashallah Very good. Then she would wear a sari the whole day
by showing part of her our part of our from the blouse that she wears from this part of her arm all the way down from part of her highlight here, Betty on the show today because she's wearing the site
all they will pray but then after they pray, what will happen is that in the house, there's all sorts of you know, free mixing all in the house, the same house, you know, with a TV with a screen the watching stuff that is there is no right. And those things that come across on the screens, they're shaping your mind as well. So anyway, I'll send you when it's a shallow Islam or you haven't given enough discipline, these kids haven't even got the deal inside them and then their whole judgment is gone is what they saw. They think that is Islam. Oh, Islam is once a year or twice a year a couple of times in the year just go to the masjid Islam is you respect the Quran, Islam is
you better believe in the Prophet and you better believe in Allah. But there's nothing else about the words of ALLAH wasn't Mrs. Watson. There's nothing about them understand the depth of Islam. That's another extreme. And that's a big reason why some
Not our Muslim children are living standards. Let me get back to those questions.
These children will have questions about the existence of God. They will have questions about Rasulullah sallallahu they'll have questions about why Islam is the truth over all other religions. In this short time, I haven't got time to go to all of this.
There are many, you know, many different lectures on mine that are on the internet. Right? And there's one particular one I think all we need answers from God, if you checked out on YouTube, we need answers from God. I've tried to you know, I've tried to give some of these some of these answers that but I'm going to in this session, I'm going to answer a couple of things for these children to understand the challenge and the parents to understand
in the rest of the time that I've got so what I'm gonna say to you is that your child is 12 or 13 You know what Satan earlier the Obama said? He said, from zero to seven you got to become the father to the child
you got to become the father to the child from seven to 14 You have to become the nurturing Father Yes, just like you did from zero to seven but at the same time, you have to slightly ease of slight is with a little bit of friendship a little bit not too much a little bit of friendship comes in from seven to 14 from 14 to 21 saving the Lord says he says now you need to become more of a friend and less of that father to your child if you can get that right in the right order. So when the zero to seven you're the father Father you do the tough doesn't you have to make sure that they do things as you want them to do it fine and then a lot of copying anybody's gonna copy from seven to 14 RPE
is off a little from the fact you're a father you got all your rules everything in place that yes, don't let go of any of that, but a little bit of friendship little bit of openness up with them.
Let them have the conversation with you let them open up with you even if they come up with challenging question let them say it you can always find some scholars, some alums, someone somebody that will give the answer to them from 14 onwards. What is that 14 literally is not the day that birthday 14 comes okay, it could be plus or minus so do take that in as some kids grow in different
ways. So from the random age you have to put more friendliness into it and dropped you're still a father who's looking looking over them but but have that had that thing with them.
And amongst all of this as they're going through, please don't do one massive damage, which is I've seen this even on this journey. I saw it and I was like what is why are parents doing this in this journey on the last day? Last week or sorry? The week before I saw your with your child we're in a gathering like this. You want to keep your child quiet. What do you do you pull your phone out? You give the phone to go play when
your child is sitting next to you in the masjid in the gathering anywhere in your home whatever even in a waiting room you can't keep your child quiet because the chocolate
and until it gets in front of you until you give them the paddle Why did they do why is that you know because one woman we just me and my wife we just decided to stop
in the beginning we actually gave a little bit of it because they could take my phone and they could just look at something on the phone some photos on this play something and you know what that came mistake when I just said stop that phone is mine. It's not yours and you're not going to get the phone and you don't want the child to do well. And all our children we bought them up like that you do not get those devices until it's time to get those devices you have to have control on the time your children go on to those devices in the house strictly given given your room understood by I remember for years I'm talking about entire decade in my house they couldn't go on any technological
device from Monday to Friday. They couldn't do because mother and father we had a system you go to school you come back you do your Salah you do the eagle come to your hunger come back to you place it and game to that physical games that's fine but you're not getting one technology finished then you bedtime is coming soon at eight nine o'clock go to bed finish.
Sleep the game. No, they knew it's forbidden in the house. They even said to my cousins have been How can my cousin's and that's another problem you have to deal with.
You know when we said Sydney we said your cousin how cousin's house. They have their rooms we have ours.
but you know one thing, you set your rules, you'd be very clear. And the moment that have to be equal in this, you don't have a thing where their Mom has her rules and she secretly gives in what Allah backhander. They will allow the kids to do whatever and the dad has his own rules. You don't do that that's gonna mess things up big time. And that's another reason why I can actually get messed up be together whatever rules you make a study on each other. This is it even though we can just have a window of this many hours you can be on there straight after that off that is switched off done. Why? In the early ages, the amount of stuff that the scene and the game that they play
them they've got so much chemicals that are being released in their heads of dopamine and I think the small amounts that they get so when they come back to the books to study actual textbooks, they look around they find the boring
they find classrooms boring, they're finding books boring, they find the house boring
they find you boring
as you know why you play computer you get on what's that game where have you been where you collect the coins in jump on trains
you play subway Sir, we're in on them right so this character is jacking off right from train to train train to train somebody on the ground sometimes up collecting
is faster and faster what's happening? You're locked in you're an iPad you're watching this the whole graphics are moving you're moving forward you see how many consequently you see the scores are going up you just missed
some dopamine that's coming to you movie movie movie you pay for
I feel you switch it off you look at your house
the house is dead
you know what happened after that kids can kids you know will never talk to me going because the smoke is psychologically disapproval when the plane goes games even if his ps4 PS five you got experts at play plane that okay, these games this is fortnight this in fortnight seven moves in the world, right?
In these games
when you build your own real world
Minecraft, Minecraft you don't know what you're looking at this year. Yeah, I live here. You're not living anywhere. They're my friend. You live in your house wake up so they get so much knocked into their moving spaces around the screen even a fortnight and when you go to the Hill that collecting stuff they're they're building a fortress, they're saving themselves they're flying down to shoot in the evening. A headset on the boat talking to friends or crossing their cousins, their neighbor women in school friends, right? There's so much going on. There's so much chemicals, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, you know being busted into their into their heads right? And then when
that stops there, and you come to realize this tag, you know what happens? There is the opposite of this and this is scientifically proven. There's the opposite effect as much enjoyment that what was a pain, that's how sad they are. That's how lonely they feel. So if they were normal here, and they went up like up to like 50 notches up in excitement as soon as they switch up those those devices they go 50 notches down. Use your kids as soon as you stop the games, they'll be like you know the boys getting to fighting straightaway. To play faster.
Jumping up and down. Your Why do kids do that because they're going 50 notches down they want to move they want to do things don't want to get that dopamine to confine you, they're not really craving for it for another couple of hours you're dealing with.
You want to get through study physically make the book that book looks so ugly. I have to sit here use my brain to work out the maths. I have to learn this word the spelling of the words oh my god, I could have been on surprise. Collecting another 1200 coins.
I could have got to the level of this by you know the stats around with me. This the world now you got to be careful because this world will take them over. And there's another hole that I really didn't say this. This is really important. My kid my kids, my kids will never get them we had the device in the house. We had them on on time look as if we will tell you when to get on we will tell you when to get off or you just fall off hours. And it was very good years that we did that my child remember for the most
was six years old. He came home. You know what he said? He said,
he said, When am I gonna get my TV in my bedroom?
Get and get my TV in my bedroom. I said, What are you talking about Sunday? He's here for Edwards coffee.
Edwards got a.
I said, you're not gonna get one. You're not gonna get one. So I'm gonna forget it. You can dream about it.
Just wake up after that is not gonna happen. Now. I remember when he was nine years old. He said to me said we're never going to come by my phone, or smartphone. So what's my phone? He said, Because kids at school. By the time he got to the age of 11, he came one day home.
You secondary school first year, he came home. And he said, he said I need a smartphone and the smartphone. Why why do you need smartphone? He said all the kids in my class have it. I'm the only one that doesn't happen. As a decent kid. You're gonna get one when you're 16.
And I kept on telling you that I sat him down. I explained to him, I extend the danger. But this is what you got to do with these kids. Don't just say no.
It's not Somaliland.
It's not Bangladesh. You can't do that stuff. Here. You do that you lost the kick, they will lose contact with you they will feel emotional, they will have the hum farm further you need to be remastered said rather than said Dear father, that little bit of work gone
into recharge the need to explain to these kids are now at the age of wanting evidences wife. So I sat with my citizen kid, I said, you can have a phone right now. But if you get a phone right now, you're gonna just be on the phone, and you're going to open a WhatsApp group.
And you're going to be chatting with your friends and your friends gonna be chatting this that this that this is not going to bring any benefit. You've got loads of other benefits while they look you're gonna get before I told him that again. 816. He said, Okay, when I get 16 that time I had a I think was a iPhone six or something. He said,
When I get when I get my phone at that age, he said, I don't want an iPhone six at that time.
Is I want the latest iPhone. I said, Okay, Sam, you gotta get the latest life. Here. He said when he was 13. Again, he really wanted a patent. No, no, I said this thing is not explained to them. This thing has got the internet, it's open, you're at a stage when you're not going to know how to control yourself on that you're going to be surfing on that. You're going to be on there maybe perhaps I'm not going to be going to sleep you're going to be in a that's gonna be buzzing you know, think look, just just leaving. I'll get you then I got him to calm down. And at the same time, look at the same time again, alternatives. Again, go to alternatives. Because I mean, he used to play
table tennis. I remember many phases going to mean he used to play cool meanings, that sentence. Then he got into football and I encouraging rent local masjid, he used to go and play football on a Saturday with the kids over there. Right? I mean, I got it, you got to give them an alternative. And you can't just shut them down and say you got to give him an alternative. Let them see another one. Keep them preoccupied in a halal way, the good way right now. Hamdulillah. He's eight when he was about 17. He was like he was using to list a stimulus for things acid missing. And so once you go to the gym,
he said what we're gonna do and I said Kobe, Jim
you know, he got into the gym. He's been there going there for a year now and Hamdulillah. You know, Jim is how that man he was huddled and go there and keep occupied, keep them occupied with something so that they don't do all the other stuff that we know you don't want to do anyway, because 1616 I gave him his phone. But then I said to him, listen, listen to this, this is for your parents.
I said, Son, I'm going to share your passcode with you till the day you get married.
I got no one seemed to no shame in saying this in front of you can feel wow.
16 year old is 89. I still share I can go into his phone and I don't be intrusive. I don't go into that anytime I want. I won't do that.
And he knows that there's a respect for him. I said to him, by the age of 14, you're going to become more friendly. Unless of that father and I've been doing that I've been changing my way of speaking to him. You have to do this the way you talk to a five year old Do not put your 15 year old you're gonna have to You're gonna lose that child. I've transformed the way I speak to him and he's noticed that and there's been a few times. He's challenged me in different different ages. But recently he just said to us
He doesn't like to
And straightaway, you realize it stops if you make that friendship way hamdulillah now he's full. I've got I can get into his phone, I don't go in there all the time. But now and again once in a while, I'll do it. And he's even said to me, I remember one poker game.
This was a talk in London. I gave the talk I talked exactly the same thing I said right now parents should share the passport of the of the children. And tell the reason why. You have got every fifth dinner, every haram everything that you can ever imagine in the world, you never want your kid to see it's open on the on the internet, open, open it. I don't care how many locks you go, I don't care how many parades and stuff your kids know how to go and, and get to see what they want to see.
Every haram haram the eyes is corrupted, completely corrupted, he's on the internet, as soon as the country internet Google is there.
You're gonna allow your kid to lock themselves out with their phone at the age of 13, age of 12, age of 11. I've even heard age kids, seven kids, parents in the smartphone to the kid smartphone to the kid and the kid is browsing the web, the world is locked in the parents can't count on what's happening. You will have every girlfriend coming down where you will have their feet drunk thing that might come that way you'll have every other fit that you can think of, everything's open and they can do a secretly without you know, because they know you're gonna get angry with them. So don't do
not London thing I gave the talk, I'm gonna keep was there. This was just just a couple of months ago is that visit the talk. And I said all of this, and even shared that the asset, my son, Africa at 16, I gave him and I shared about
and then we got in the car.
And I said to him, you want me to check a phone?
Because in the talking about cetera, et cetera. CitizenCon when you go home, you don't just go home and got the smartphone from the kids and say, Oh, Tony, right now, Open sesame. Let me let me see what you've been up to. I said, Don't do that. I said, if you go home, you can't be on a smartphone, look away from you for several years, go home and just tell them I'm giving you 24 hours to wipe away what you want what your history, you know, your browsing history, wherever, give you some time to do that. Because in order to support the relationship, if you come in, okay, but we all humans that might do something wrong. You don't want to come in b2c, find it, this type of mad, blah, blah,
blah, blah, these are completely nuts, and then they lose the relationship with you. So when I got in the car setting, I said, you're gonna give me for the straightaway and before that, you've got to run.
You know what, if you build the relationship, I'm not saying you're going to hold perfect, but you build the relationship with the kids over time. You will have I remember my child this child came to me one day from school and you're this because the RSC lessons are school they're messing the kids up the message and do you realize it in England? I'm telling you the actual statistics, England, in our schools in our normal schools up and down the country a survey was done with RS E or RS religious studies religious education, teachers, what was their faith?
80% of them were atheists a 0% of them were eight what were interesting these teachers come in the lesson do you think the teacher is going to passionately speak about Islam and Islam comes from the cities you're gonna say okay, what I'm gonna do this they do this analysis. Okay, so what's the proof?
What's the what do you believe income? How do you know God is real? How do you know your god you feel that you know what, one day my kid actually came? And he came us it was only about eight years old. And he came and he said to me said how do you know the Quran is true? Because that's exactly the question. The teacher must have said in school. He said Baba is on how do I know that our Quran is the truth?
And this is me as an imam is asking by the way Yeah. So what do I do?
And I said to my son, you know, the, you know, the people in the process. I said they tried to challenge the process and with the Quran, the process in the Quran, Surah like in our gynecological, very short sold up to three verses.
I said, you know, that was tricky that people in the process of time they came they challenge the process on that. And the Quran says to him if you try and break as soon as
That is that is close to that anything similar to that so they came up with I said some acid you know you know the Quran we've got you know as soon as like
malapa What I've heard the catastrophe Mercari what is the catastrophe? Well, man,
what do you know about the catastrophe? Yo man Kunis with alpha Raj Russian observes the date people will be like moths of status
you see mountains that would have been suffering to go, and then Alaska and on top of that go as evil as for the person who's whose scales are really waiting on that day for a shutter babia. Such a person is going to be in complete place.
Do you like what Amanda Hoffman was one of those people who scales the light in the Deadman for me who have the destination is going to be the lower pit. Oh my god, do you know that that thing?
And Allah says otherwise, like, am I here? Now? I would have no it's a blazing fire. And look, no cuts look how the structuring and the machine came came to us last summer and they said we bought you a similar similar to your Quran and the Sahaba were sitting down. So okay, read it. They said I'll feed
the elephant woman fee. What do you know about that? One I adore come and feel what's going to tell you about the elephant law who has
it has a long from
you guys already love. That's exactly what my kid did. When he explained our body feeling experiment they did and he laughed and he laughed and he loved this. This the soul of the Quran. As a Do you see the eloquence from Do you see the majestic from this wonderful Quran is when talks about and who never asked him that question again. But you got to come across to them with something that gives them some kind of, you know, face something that deepens FNC? Yes, that's that's probably the truth How elegant how wonderful it is. Anyway guys, I know that that has to go right now because you said I was gonna start at nine o'clock. I just want to say to you find what my friends we've created. And
I'm not just saying this look, you might say well look what what is evidence of being our button nurture and what we've created with a team of people. For the last 30 years we've been working on the syllabi, suffer publications.org goes straight to book six or book seven speckling seven, go to book eight, open the chapter, in that you're going to find exactly we're targeting the very things I'm talking about in this lecture about the deen about Allah but proof of existence of Allah you will see that in book seven, just go to suffer publication.org one textbook just all the textbook look into that not only that, please, please whatever you do, connect yourself with with demand so
suffer is SA FA our publications.org Anyway, connected with Ebola connect to the Masters go to the mouths of wanting lung cancer to take you to another Imam mashallah and what happened? Is that not
everyone at the time, just on that note, many of you will know me in announcing in Juma we will be starting a new scene.