Hasan Ali – Moody Husband Vs Moody Wife

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I wanna tell you brother, one day what's

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gonna happen is your wife

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is probably not gonna be in the best

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mood with you, or one day my sister,

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your husband's not gonna be in the best

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mood with you. Now, what do you do,

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brother, on that day? On that day, brother,

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you leave the house and you go to

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the masjid. You understand? You're gonna need the

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prayers, brother. You're gonna need them for yourself.

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You know what I'm saying? Go and kneel

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before the Lord.

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Okay? Ask Allah to help you because the

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sister is only getting warmed up about you.

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She's only getting warmed up. If you come

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home

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and you see the sister waiting for you

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by the door, you better go back.

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You need to do more rakats in the

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Masjid than come back. Maybe go to a

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friend's place, maybe go for a drive, maybe

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go for a coffee, whatever it is, but

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cool off. Cool off. Stay away. Sister, same

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thing. If your husband is, you know, not

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not you know, he's not having a good

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mood towards you, then you better go to

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your own zone. Just zip up. The main

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thing is to zip up. Don't get into

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these arguments because what happens is when you

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are angry,

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you're not yourself.

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Is that correct? Yes or no?

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Yes. And you're gonna say stuff which you

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wouldn't say stuff on a normal day. You're

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you're fired up at this time, and all

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you wanna do is hurt that person.

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All you wanna do is hurt that person.

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And when you say things from your tongue

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and you hurt the person,

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You said that to me? Wait till I

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start say and you know what? You start

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remembering all the negative memories,

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all the things that you're not supposed to

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have said, and you bring them from the

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bottom, and you're like putting, you know, you're

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you're like throwing mud at each other's face.

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And that that's the thing. What happens after

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the the storm has calmed down, you know

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what happens? You

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then realize the damage you caused. It's a

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storm.

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At that moment of anger, you're supposed to

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stay away. Don't talk to each other.

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Stay away. Just say, look, peace. Peace.

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We're gonna stay we're gonna stay we're gonna

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stay away. We're gonna we're not gonna say

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a word. And now, look, you're feeling it

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inside you. I've gotta say something back. I've

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gotta say something back. Yesterday, we had a

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question. Okay?

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This I think I don't know if it

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was a brother or sister. They they gave

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a question. You know what the question was?

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I love winning an argument. What do I

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do?

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I love I have to have the last

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say in an argument. What do I do?

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That's that's like war war.

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That's gonna be dangerous. Now look, what do

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you do? You stay away from each other.

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Do you resolve the problem? Yes, you do.

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When? When you calm down. Once you calm

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down, you you say to yourself, okay. Let's

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calm down. Let's talk logic. Now bring logic

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into your into your scenario. Talk about factual

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evidence. Talk about what happened.

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Try and get to the bottom up from

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logic, not emotions.

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Emotions don't

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get your problem sorted. They're gonna make them

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worse.

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If you have can't have logic or if

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you can't get anyone

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to agree to logic, then get somebody senior

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only if you can't sort it yourselves. Best

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thing is my friends, I'm gonna tell you,

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try and sort your problems out as husband

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and wife. Don't involve anyone,

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especially

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in an Asian family because Asian families love

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gossip.

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They love they're like, yeah. What what happened?

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What happened? He said this. Okay.

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I'm getting my vindaloo out.

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I'm getting my garam masala out. I'm gonna

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cook you nice meal now.

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They're gonna stir, my friend.

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The worst thing you can do is start

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Whatsapp ing someone straight away when when your

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husband has done something wrong to you or

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your wife has done something wrong to you.

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No way. You sort it out between yourselves.

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Don't leave it too long. You say to

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yourselves, we're gonna we're gonna talk about it,

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talk about it straight. And if you don't

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find that both of you can agree to

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the logic in front of you, then you

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get somebody senior,

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one person only who's not biased, who's not

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gonna take sides, a person who's senior, who's

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gone through married life, who knows what it's

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about, who's gonna listen to both of you,

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who's gonna sit down between you and say,

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okay, do this. And whatever that senior, you

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know,

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wise guy says, just take it from there

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and just involve only 1 person. That's it.

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There's only 1 person. Don't make it a

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thing that you have to involve a lot

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of people into your marital problems. No. Because

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people just take the gossip and they make

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something else out of it. Anyway,

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my brothers, my sisters,

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you're going to have lovely time in marriage,

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but what happens with everything good on this

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earth is that Allah gives you tests. Okay?

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This whole life is about tests. You will

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never get a marriage without any problems. There

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will always be problems.

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Always, they're gonna be marital problems. But it's

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what kind of problems do you have, and

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how do you tolerate them, and how do

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you deal with them now?