Hasan Ali – Moody Husband Vs Moody Wife
AI: Summary ©
The speaker advises the caller to stay away from arguments and stay away from anger. He suggests going to your own zone and doing things like zipping up and not talking to anyone. The caller is advised to focus on logic and do not involve anyone in relationships.
AI: Summary ©
I wanna tell you brother, one day what's
gonna happen is your wife
is probably not gonna be in the best
mood with you, or one day my sister,
your husband's not gonna be in the best
mood with you. Now, what do you do,
brother, on that day? On that day, brother,
you leave the house and you go to
the masjid. You understand? You're gonna need the
prayers, brother. You're gonna need them for yourself.
You know what I'm saying? Go and kneel
before the Lord.
Okay? Ask Allah to help you because the
sister is only getting warmed up about you.
She's only getting warmed up. If you come
home
and you see the sister waiting for you
by the door, you better go back.
You need to do more rakats in the
Masjid than come back. Maybe go to a
friend's place, maybe go for a drive, maybe
go for a coffee, whatever it is, but
cool off. Cool off. Stay away. Sister, same
thing. If your husband is, you know, not
not you know, he's not having a good
mood towards you, then you better go to
your own zone. Just zip up. The main
thing is to zip up. Don't get into
these arguments because what happens is when you
are angry,
you're not yourself.
Is that correct? Yes or no?
Yes. And you're gonna say stuff which you
wouldn't say stuff on a normal day. You're
you're fired up at this time, and all
you wanna do is hurt that person.
All you wanna do is hurt that person.
And when you say things from your tongue
and you hurt the person,
You said that to me? Wait till I
start say and you know what? You start
remembering all the negative memories,
all the things that you're not supposed to
have said, and you bring them from the
bottom, and you're like putting, you know, you're
you're like throwing mud at each other's face.
And that that's the thing. What happens after
the the storm has calmed down, you know
what happens? You
then realize the damage you caused. It's a
storm.
At that moment of anger, you're supposed to
stay away. Don't talk to each other.
Stay away. Just say, look, peace. Peace.
We're gonna stay we're gonna stay we're gonna
stay away. We're gonna we're not gonna say
a word. And now, look, you're feeling it
inside you. I've gotta say something back. I've
gotta say something back. Yesterday, we had a
question. Okay?
This I think I don't know if it
was a brother or sister. They they gave
a question. You know what the question was?
I love winning an argument. What do I
do?
I love I have to have the last
say in an argument. What do I do?
That's that's like war war.
That's gonna be dangerous. Now look, what do
you do? You stay away from each other.
Do you resolve the problem? Yes, you do.
When? When you calm down. Once you calm
down, you you say to yourself, okay. Let's
calm down. Let's talk logic. Now bring logic
into your into your scenario. Talk about factual
evidence. Talk about what happened.
Try and get to the bottom up from
logic, not emotions.
Emotions don't
get your problem sorted. They're gonna make them
worse.
If you have can't have logic or if
you can't get anyone
to agree to logic, then get somebody senior
only if you can't sort it yourselves. Best
thing is my friends, I'm gonna tell you,
try and sort your problems out as husband
and wife. Don't involve anyone,
especially
in an Asian family because Asian families love
gossip.
They love they're like, yeah. What what happened?
What happened? He said this. Okay.
I'm getting my vindaloo out.
I'm getting my garam masala out. I'm gonna
cook you nice meal now.
They're gonna stir, my friend.
The worst thing you can do is start
Whatsapp ing someone straight away when when your
husband has done something wrong to you or
your wife has done something wrong to you.
No way. You sort it out between yourselves.
Don't leave it too long. You say to
yourselves, we're gonna we're gonna talk about it,
talk about it straight. And if you don't
find that both of you can agree to
the logic in front of you, then you
get somebody senior,
one person only who's not biased, who's not
gonna take sides, a person who's senior, who's
gone through married life, who knows what it's
about, who's gonna listen to both of you,
who's gonna sit down between you and say,
okay, do this. And whatever that senior, you
know,
wise guy says, just take it from there
and just involve only 1 person. That's it.
There's only 1 person. Don't make it a
thing that you have to involve a lot
of people into your marital problems. No. Because
people just take the gossip and they make
something else out of it. Anyway,
my brothers, my sisters,
you're going to have lovely time in marriage,
but what happens with everything good on this
earth is that Allah gives you tests. Okay?
This whole life is about tests. You will
never get a marriage without any problems. There
will always be problems.
Always, they're gonna be marital problems. But it's
what kind of problems do you have, and
how do you tolerate them, and how do
you deal with them now?