Hamzah Wald Maqbul – Riyd alSlihn The Wealth of Orphans 01142024
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The chapter regarding the
detestability
of a person taking back a gift,
that
they didn't
give to their or that that that hasn't
been received by the the person being gifted
or or the detestability of a gift,
that was given
by a person to their children
whether or not it was taken back
and the detestability
of purchasing something that somebody had given
as charity in the path of Allah
from the one that it was given to,
or
was taken out from their zakat
or was taken out by from a kafaras
and penalty expiation, ritual expiation.
And then, you know, I know he leaves
a little note. He says, but it's okay
to buy something like that back from somebody
else. So for example, you gifted something to
somebody and then they sold it to a
3rd party or they gifted it to a
3rd party, then you can buy it from
them. Or if you gave something to somebody
and then they gave it to a 3rd
party,
you can buy it from them.
So there are 2 issues that are being
dealt with here. 1 is something that's given
in sadaqa. When you give it to somebody,
you don't or when you give a gift,
sorry, to somebody, you don't take it back.
When you give sadaqa to somebody, you don't
take it back. And when you sell something
sorry. So those are 2 separate those are
the 2 separate issues. 1 is something that's
gifted and the other thing is the thing
that's given in
he and Hooma,
he said the messenger
said,
the person who takes back a gift,
is like a dog
that takes back its vomit.
So it's
the thing the person who would do that
is a bad person, and the thing that
they're taking bad is back is bad. It's
not good.
And in a narration,
that's even more explicit than that. And both
of them it's narrated both in Bukhari and
Muslim. And in another narration,
the likeness of a person who,
takes back their
sadaqa, their charity, is like a dog
that vomits
and then,
goes back to its vomit and eats it.
And then in another narration,
it said that the person who goes back
on their gift is like
a person who, goes back like,
returns back their vomit into their mouth.
So this there's a little bit of that
is
connected with this. I guess most of you
guys are
students of knowledge, so you already read this.
But I was surprised when I first read
it because I guess you don't really think
about these things, unless you, like, get go
to fit. When you give someone a gift,
the the
the the
ownership of that thing is transferred completely to
them.
So this whole thing, you have, like, an
expectation about something. You give someone a gift,
and there's an expectation about it,
that they'll use it well or they'll use
it in a particular way or they'll honor
it or they'll this or they'll that. Those
have no legal
reality whatsoever.
Rather, the legal reality of a a gift
is what? It's a complete transfer of ownership
from one person to another without anything,
without anything being expected in return.
And it's different in many ways from
sale.
The sale is what? Like, the legal transfer
of one thing in
lieu of another.
Whereas with the with the hibah, it's like
it's, with the gift, it's like what? It's
like one person gives something to the other
person,
and there's no there's no that it's clear
that there's nothing expected back from that person.
That's get getting the gift.
And so if a person, for example, you
give them,
you know, a $100,
you know, it's unreasonable for you, at least
legally speaking, for you to expect that they're
gonna frame that bill. They're gonna keep that
bill and cherish that bill and kiss that
bill and hug that bill and treat it
with honor and respect and talk about it
and this and that and the other thing.
You know? It's unreasonable for you to expect
that that person is gonna do anything with
that bill. You might want them to go
and pay their tuition with it. They may
wanna go to roast with their friends.
You know? It's really once you gift it
to them,
that's it. There's no strings attached to it.
Or what's better for a person?
You can talk about that. Right?
But they also have their opinion as well
of what's better for them. Your opinion may
be right, but still they get to choose
for themselves.
And so that's that's the reality of gift
gifting. Obviously, there's all sorts of, like, a
person has in their mind the idea of
what would be best in such a scenario.
My advice to somebody who wants to give
a gift to another person is to get
all that stuff
out of your head. Why? Because the the
that there should be that there
your head. Why?
Because the the tashbih that the Rasulullah
alaihi wa sallam he gives to a person
who comes back, you know, takes their their
gift back
is what? Like a dog who vomits and
then he goes and eats his own vomit.
So the teshbih is bad for both the
giver, and it's bad for the the thing
as well. Right? So what is what is,
like, a step up from that? Be the
dog who vomits and, like, then moves along.
That's one step. Incrementally, it's better. One step
better than what the dog who
vomits and then eats his vomit.
The gift being vomit itself
is
a
you know, it's it's something that that kind
of explains to you what the value of
the the duniya is anyway. And so you'll
see this many Masha'i hard very quick to
give gifts.
They're very quick to give anything that they
have. In fact, there's so many. Their
their their weird forgiving gift was,
something extraordinary, and it's something that they got
from the
because he's one of his Sifaat,
one of his Sifaat is that that nobody
would come to him to visit except for
they would,
that he would give them something. If he
didn't have anything material to give,
he would
make sure at least to give some sort
of or some sort of dua or some
sort of something that that
a service that has some sort of value
in it, whether it's material if possible. And
if that's not possible, then something spiritual.
But you would not leave anybody empty handed.
So you and me also should not leave
anybody empty handed. It doesn't mean you have
to give somebody everything you have. The rasul
salafam used to give everything. Right? But it
doesn't mean that you have to give something,
you you know, like, everything you have. For
example, if you say I I have, like,
$1,000
in the bank. I wanna follow this sunnah,
but my rent is $1,000 and it's due,
like, in 3 days, and I have no
other money coming in.
That's fine. Don't give them don't give them
a dollar even because you're gonna get evicted.
Right? And you don't wanna get evicted.
You're not gonna be able to cope with
getting evicted, and it's also breach of contract
with your landlord.
That's fine. But if somebody asks you for
something on the street, what is the attitude
many people have? Oh, just don't give them
anything. They use it for drugs.
If you give Mig Dua for them, are
they gonna use that for drugs too?
I mean, you can still give something. You
can still buy some food. You can still
do something for somebody if you really wanted
to,
and you're not required to do anything.
But the sunnah is what? They should give
something. And so this is, you know,
for example, Abu Musal Ashaari
one time he was in the company
of and, someone came to ask the prophet
for something, and he had literally literally, legitimately
had nothing to give. So he made to
offer the or he I said, can I
offer you some advice? And they're like, no.
Thanks. You can keep your advice.
Because they were salty that they didn't get,
like, money or, like, they didn't get food
or something like that. That they wanted to
say, Nobun Musa says, I'll take it, Arasulullah.
And so the prophet was happy with him
too so that this guy gets it.
Likewise, there are many stories of the masha'ikh
that somebody would ask them for something, and
if they had nothing to give, it would
grate on them so hard. It would grate
on them so hard that I had nothing
to give this person. They would go and,
like,
take loans from people in order to, in
order to give something.
There's this story is there's interesting stories. Khaja
Baqi Billah
the Sheikh of Mujadda al Afani. Sheikh Ahmed
Salhandi. Very interesting story about him. Somebody came
and asked him for something. He had nothing
to give him, so he, like, borrowed something
from his neighbor. It's a really interesting story.
Maybe a little bit too much to say,
so we won't say the rest of it,
but interesting story.
The the uncle of Junaid and the the
the the sheikh of Junaid as well. Junaid
was his greatest disciple.
He himself, same thing. 1 of the Olya
was passing by. They have nothing to someone
asked them for something. They have nothing to
give. So they walked in and knew that
is like that Saturday is a good guy.
So we walked into the shop, say, hey.
Do you have anything? Give this person, like,
some even just something to eat or whatever.
And he's like, sure. He goes, I had
my lunch. He goes, I just thought I'll
skip my lunch. Just give give me my
lunch and that's it. You know?
And,
he he said he said that, that he
made duas for me that Allah to exalt
my rank. He says that ever since the
the day he made that dua, nothing in
my dunya ever went right again.
That's a whole another issue. Right? Is that
the that's of the
that's written in the old books,
that's something that's almost like something where you
have to visit in a museum now. Because
even people, they don't they stay at that
as solo. Everybody thinks that I'm gonna, like,
read the and become tomorrow or
whatever. And,
not that I recommend that or whatever. I'm
just saying that, like, people have these kind
of weird fantastic, like,
ideas in their head. And, people, like, they
start they start they take beyond not with
the purpose of rectifying themselves or with the
purpose of learning how to make zikr, but
because they imagine somehow this is gonna end
in me becoming a shikr or whatever,
which is really horrible.
And in fact, it's not even a good
way of becoming a chef because most of
the people are in good sheif now. You
know, they didn't waste their time being zikr.
They have, like, really nice, websites and YouTube
accounts and things like that. Right? So if
you wanna do it, do do it that
way. Right? If that's what you want, then
that's a, you know,
that's that's a really great way of
I know much of most of influencers that
have more worries now than anybody who knows.
But the point is is what?
The point is is that that,
these stories like that, it's fine. A person
shouldn't
know that they exist so a person can
understand what the proper and correct trajectory is
and what, you know, what you're kind of,
like, searching for in terms of
of of
what the journey toward Alapaha looks like when
you go in the further reaches.
Very few people will get beyond, like,
very rudimentary or even
remedial lessons,
on that path. The point is is this
is that giving is a very important part
of
being a good person, and it's a skill.
And if you give too much, you'll put
yourself in the hole.
And if you don't give anything, you also
put yourself in the hole, and it is
vomit at the end of the day. What
is it? You ate too much, so you
need to get rid of some of it.
So if you have enough, then the rest
of it, it, you should give away. Don't
try to you know, if you vomit it
out, don't try to don't try to eat
it again.
That's, like, I guess, the point.
And then the the you know, being the
dog, that's, I guess, a different topic we
can talk about some more
So the first hadith talked about talked about
a gift.
One issue
before we talk or translate the second hadith
is that he mentioned in the title the
difference between
giving the gift to your child versus giving
it to somebody else. And he mentioned what
the word that
something is,
is,
Right? Is.
Giving a gift to somebody else
is affected. The transaction is complete when they
take possession of that gift. After that, it's
their property.
Before that, it's Makru to to, like, take
it back.
After that, there's no taking it back in
the sense that it's, you know, like, it's
their property. They can do what they want.
You're gonna have to, like, fight them for
it or whatever, and the judge will rule
in their favor. And the difference between a
person with just a random other person versus
with their own progeny is that they can
take a gift back from their own progeny,
and it's Makru at that point. It's not,
it's not haram. It's not like they're taking.
It doesn't have the same hookahum because of
the special relationship between parents and children children,
and there may be some difference of opinion
between them. But I have with regards to
this. You can look that up in the
in in in the class. So the reason
he says is what? Is this before,
irrevocable
irrevocable possession is taken. After irrevocable possession is
taken of something, at that time, then at
that point, then taking it back is just
plain haram.
And now this is a hadith that was
about gifts. This is a hadith about sadaqah.
That said, Namer Ibn Khattar
who said that
I had,
I had given somebody a horse
to go out in the path of
I provided conveyance
to somebody who wanted to go out as
a mujahide to the path of Allah
by giving a horse to somebody. And that
person had not taken care of it very
well.
Like, having a horse is difficult. Imagine, like,
all these hadith about, like, people, you know,
eating one day to day and half a
day to day and giving salatah, like, one
day and a half a day because it's
legit all they had to give. So imagine
it's difficult to, like, feed a horse. Right?
And it's
not like it's just like,
you know, like, some sort of, like, Illinois
State Park that there's grass and vegetation all
around that people can eat, or that animals
can eat. In fact, that was a big
thing. People used to get into fights over
grazing land,
for their animals,
and they used to move
really long distances from place to place to
go and let their animals grace.
So, finding enough for the the horse to
eat, that's one of the reasons why the
horse gets,
2 shares and the fighter gets 1 in
in Hanima.
So he he didn't take good care of
it. He let it let it waste away.
So said that
I I wanted to buy it back from
him because he wasn't able to take care
of it very well. And I I thought
that this guy will for sure sell it
to me cheap. Like, he's not gonna drive
a hard bargain with me. So I,
mentioned it to the messenger of Allah, sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam. I asked him, sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, what he thought about it. And
he said, don't buy it,
and don't ever go back on your charity
that you gave. He says even if he
get gives it to you for just 1
dead hunt for, like, $15. Like, even if
he gives you for a ridiculously low price,
don't take it from
him. Why? Because the person who goes back
on his charity
is, like a person who just goes back
for his vomit. It's the same it's the
same tashbih. It's the same,
simile,
that was in the previous hadith. It's
both in Sahih Bukhari
and Sahih Muslim. And so, you know, that's
a big that's a big deal That's,
you
you know, to give somebody a horse in
the path of Allah,
it's a big deal.
And so he you know, that's also a
type of
that that, you know, deserves its own special
discussion, but maybe now is not the time
The chapter regarding the emphasis,
of the prohibition
or the inviolability
of the wealth of an orphan.
This is
relevant,
because
for so many reasons. But as Ramadan is
coming up, a lot of people are gonna
start fundraising.
And, sadly, that space also,
there are a lot of people who need
a little bit of adjustment
in the way they deal with things and
the way they they process things.
Allah, most high, says, indeed, those who
consume the wealth of orphans,
in transgression,
meaning in a way that's not it's not
okay. It's not permissible.
They do nothing except for eat fire in
their bellies,
and they will be,
roasted in a blaze.
Ibn Allan
he
mentions that their
picture or their form in which they are
going to come forth on the day of
judgment
is that they will be burning inside,
and the fire will come out from their
mouths and from their,
ears and from their eyes and from every
orifice.
It's just gonna be fire coming out from
them,
because of the
illicit wealth that they consumed.
And Allah
says in,
he says that do not come close don't
even come close to the wealth of an
orphan except for in the most beautiful way
possible. Meaning what?
He says,
like, in every way, in every way, shape,
or form. And the way you protect it,
and the way it's invested. Right? Because you
don't just take somebody has a huge sum
of money. If someone has a $100 bill,
you should keep it in your pocket or
keep it in a safe place. Somebody has
a $100,000, you don't just, like, leave it
in the bank. What do you do? You
put it in some sort of investment. The
investments nowadays are, like have to do with,
like, real estate and stocks and things like
that. Nowadays are, like have to do with,
like, real estate
and stocks and things like that. In the
old days, how did people used to invest
their money? You go buy buy animals,
and the herd,
you know, rolls around. From the herd, you
pay the you pay somebody to watch over
it.
Or you buy again, like, real estate and
you put it up for rent or a
shop and you put it up for rent
or things like that. Right? So there's a
when there's a
an orphan,
ideally, there there should be a guardian that's
assigned to that orphan. And so whatever inheritance
the orphan has, they make the decision, is
this best to be kept in the form
of cash?
And then in that case, they have to
store it and keep it. Is it best
to be kept as an investment, and then
they have to manage that investment.
Now
not everybody can do that for free. Some
people can. I mean, it's like your relative
or something like that, and you are already
a businessman who has money invested in different
places, then you can do it for free.
Or maybe you can't, but maybe you can.
Whereas if you're, like, one person in a
in a in a in a area and
there's a lot of orphans you have to
watch over, it becomes like a full time
job checking up on all of these things.
In that case, it's permissible to take take
money from the money that's,
that's there. And it it makes you know,
again, it makes sense differently. For example, if
there's a $100 and you're gonna charge $10
dollars an hour to guard it, then that's
not right.
But if it's a huge sum of money
or a large sum of money or a
large amount of
pooled funds that you're managing somehow or another
for a number of people, then it's
permissible for a person to take a reasonable
pay for it.
But the point is
is that don't manage it in the way
that you would not like your money to
be common
sense is not all that common anymore. And
people, sadly, common sense is not all that
common anymore,
and people
don't think about it.
And so what happens is you have people
who work in the nonprofit sector,
and the way that they manage funds is,
you know, they take a very, conciliatory
conciliatory
approach to their own nuffs,
and they take a very entitled approach to
the funds,
and they end up, like, wasting all of
them. And the issue issue is this is
that, like, okay. If you do it, for
example, with the robot, like, you know, I
go and list a brand new Tesla for
because I need to come and go to
her. Right? And, of course, it's in the
off hours, I should be able to use
it myself later as well. Right? Or something
like that. Okay. Maybe if this was, like,
a multimillion dollar operation,
maybe someone could make an argument for that.
Right? But it's not. It
basically, like, consume, like, all the money that
that that that comes into it,
if even not being able to even if
it got to that level ever.
So that that's that's wrong, but
the victim is who the victim is there's
the victim in terms of, you know,
real people is maybe some people who come
to, like, once a week,
some weeks in the month. Right?
It's bad. It's still haram. It's still horrible.
God protect us from any of these other
things. I'd rather work at Starbucks especially even
knowing that it's a boycott, I'd still rather
work at Starbucks than abuse, like, the money
of sadaqa. But, like, you know,
it's bad.
In the case of a Yateem, there's actually
actually a real person who's, like, suffering from
it. And that person is not only just
a human being. They're, like, the most,
vulnerable
of human beings and the one that has
nobody to defend them.
So it takes a special type of scumbag
to do that type of thing,
and it's really it's really problematic. But here
we are. We have people who do that.
And this is this is the issue. For
example, if you walk into if I walk
into a masjid
and
I tell people,
we're about we have there. Please give.
You'll get a certain amount. If I walk
in and say, here's orphans,
I'll make a I'll bring in a lot
more money. And I know this when I
used to work at Islamic Relief, which was
a long time ago, you know?
But when I used to work for work
at Islamic Relief, they used to tell us
at some point, please, for the sake of
the Lord, stop raising money for orphans because
we need money for other funds and other
accounts, and everyone's giving for orphans. The problem
is this is that, like, it's a kind
of modern run
organization as well. So your stats in the
organization are pegged to the dollar amount that
you bring in. And you know that whenever
you say orphans, whenever you say, bam.
This is a hadith,
Like, every person who ever worked for Islamic
Relief, they know this hadith. This is my
they're Bukhari Muslim when it comes to this
hadith. You know?
Everybody becomes shafir when it comes to this
hadith. Right?
Because you know the people will give, and
they give remarkable amounts of money.
And so to abuse that and then to
try to, like, eat off the top of
that is really scummy. And I actually was
a bad Islamic
Relief employee. Some people will say that for
reasons that I don't think are reasonable, but,
like, I'll tell you why.
Like, I remember one time we went to
a place where
we went to a place where they said,
okay. We we're gonna give x number of
dollars for,
for, like, your whatever orphan funds or whatever,
and so we want you to come pick
it up. And it was out of town.
I had to, like, go, like, fly somewhere
and then come get the money. And then
there's a ceremony. We want you to attend
the ceremony. We're gonna we want you to
go pick it up. So I had, like,
a calculation in terms of, like, how much,
like, money I would spend in order to
get money. You know what I mean? Like,
how much it cost to, like, go there,
come back, you know, and this and that.
If it wasn't worth it, I'd be like,
look, sorry. You know, we can't do that.
Why? Because
at some point or another, then the fundraising
becomes cyclical.
And, actually, the nonprofit sector in America is
really horrible.
And, sadly, the Muslim,
fundraising,
shtick is just as just as bad, if
not worse, but it's like a slot machine.
You know what a slot machine?
Like, you put in a a dollar and
it pays out, like, 97¢.
You're like, oh, wow. You're gonna get most
of your money back. Yeah. Actually, they're just
gonna be eating money for free. It's just
that the rate, you know, as long as
things like lights and noises can entertain you
and, like, dopamine, like,
game you long enough, they're basically getting money
for free for for doing nothing. Right? Sadly,
this is how how a lot of the
nonprofit sector works. If someone comes to raise
money for okay. We're gonna open the 1st
masjid in Mars. Okay.
You know? And so we need this many,
you know, $100,000,
the $1,000,000,000 for the first masjid. Mars, get
the you know? And the brothers and sisters,
I have a great thing for you comes
up on YouTube when you're trying to watch
your, like, Islamic content or whatever. And then,
like, you know, like, imagine the Adan is
being called on Mars, and you get get
the reward for it. And this is the
dream and this and that and that. And,
like, they're gonna, like, get every, like you
know?
And fine. You wanna open a masjid on
Mars. Good. You know, it's a good it's
it's a good thing. Maybe if people are
on Mars, they'll pray there. It's not like
a horrible thing. Right?
But what happens? They're gonna fly from they're
gonna come to Earth to do, like, on
a weekend, the rest of this month.
They're gonna get, like, whatever, like, $4,000 at
Jumah,
and they'll fly back to Mars. Lord knows
how much it cost to come you know
what I mean? How much it cost to
do all of that? And the person who's
doing it, are they volunteer? Are they not
a volunteer? You know, who who is it?
You know?
And what ends up happening, your percentages end
up getting skewed really bad. Although, sometimes some
things there they won't get done until someone
does something like that. I may have my
opinion whether it's good or bad. At the
end of the day, I won't speak bad
about those people
so much. Why? Because
at the end of the day, a person
should give if they want to give. And
if they don't wanna give, just give to
and move on.
And everyone should ask these questions also, like,
how is this coming to me? Like, how
am I seeing these ads on YouTube? How
am I seeing these ads on Google? How
am I seeing this who's paying for that?
How much does it cost? Every dollar I
give, give, how much of it goes into
the actual, like, you know, into, like, building
some sort of, like, a thing that looks
like a like, mobile architecture, you know, on
in Mars, and how much of it is
actually just going into, like, Google and AdSense
and things like that?
Questions people should ask, they ask. They don't
ask, what can you do? You know? People
should also, like, I don't know, cut down
carbs and, like, do weight training, resistance training,
like, twice a week. But, you know, there's
so many things they should do, but they
don't. So,
that's that's one thing. But then to super
emotionally blackmail the smack out of people,
which, you know, it's some of it is
okay. Like, they are orphans. Right? People should
feel bad for not taking care of them.
But then at the end of it, like,
to, you
know, take everyone takes their cut,
and then, they throw back pennies on the
dollar or they go into loss because
of it. That's really problematic. That's not.
That even you make you you could say,
although very few people, if anyone really,
discloses the cost, the true cost of doing
business, people do weird tricks in order to
hide them and they give numbers out in
public, which are not really,
accurate reflections of things.
But even if they are, that's still not
is it?
It's not in the best way possible, the
most beautiful way way possible. A person wouldn't
like that their own money be,
spent like that,
and,
it's not the best. We're not doing our
best. We're not we're not we should hold
ourselves to a a higher standard. Now I'm
a little bit reticent to say some of
these
things. I wanna say some of these things
because I know a lot of people are
really fleecing the public.
But I also don't wanna say some of
these things. Why? Because what happens sometimes, you
mention what the fleecers are doing, and then
the people are doing a legitimate job, you
end up hurting them. On the flip side,
you don't wanna cover for the people who
are doing a legitimate job because then you're
disabled of fleecers, at some point or another.
And then the the the the the layer
on top of all of it is that
doing work is hard.
You will have an idea in your mind
how much of the percentage of, like, every
dollar you give should go to the orphans,
but sadly, in the real world, it's a
little bit lower than that
Until or unless somebody wants to volunteer,
and, like, sacrifice their time, effort, energy, life
in order to make it happen in a
more efficient way, which
the Ummah has people like that, and it
had a lot more people like that at
some point or another. But whatever, this poverty
has crept into not just our pockets, but
into our hearts,
that we no longer do stuff like this
anymore.
And,
you know, so it's it's depressingly, it's more
expensive to do business than
than a person thinks,
and these things happen. So, like, I'm reticent
to mention it. But the point is if
you ever do something yourself, this is this
information not so much for us criticizing other
people, but it is for ourselves that if
we have any ideas we wanna do something,
this is how you're gonna do it. This
is the correct way of doing it.
And so and so be aware of that.
Says in his book, he says says they
ask you about,
the orphans,
say,
to to fix things for them, to rectify
their affair is good.
And if you,
wish to mix with them,
then they are your your siblings,
and mix with them as if they're your
siblings. And the mix means something. I'll get
back to it. And Allah knows the difference
between the person
them means, in this case, if you mix
your money with them with their money. So
there's 2 models. Right? 1 is that a
guardian is doing it for the sake of
a lot because they wanna take care of
the orphans. That's their service. They don't pay
anything for the orphan out of their pocket,
but they volunteer their time, effort, oversight, you
know, to make sure that they don't get
ripped off and cheated. The second model is
what is that I can't afford even to
do that. So what am I what am
I gonna do? I'm gonna eat from
I'm gonna I'm gonna
take I'm gonna take some money for the
work that I do,
but,
in the best way possible.
He says that both of these he says,
what's best is to do it as the
volunteer. What's second best is to,
to, you know,
take it take from it, but in the
best way possible. And a lot of those
are the difference between the person who's taking
in order to just cause mischief, meaning
erode and caustically eat away at the the
wealth of the orphan and who's just doing
it because this is the best thing possible
that they can do, and they're trying to
do it in the
way. So is what? Is mixing the wealth
of the orphan with the wealth of the,
with the wealth of the guardian.
And it is permissible.
How how is, like, a shakal Sura like
that
a moat that it could be in?
For example, if someone says, I will,
you know, like, I'm I'm an orphan, and
Abdullah has a house.
So Abdullah says, okay. Look. I, you know,
I I can't afford to just, like, keep
him on on on the books for free.
I wish I could, but I can't.
And, he has, you know, he has his
own wealth anyway.
So
what we'll do is this,
is
he can stay in in in the house,
and I'll take care of him, but it's
gonna cost $1,000 a month for $1,000
a month. I'll get food, lodging. I'll take
him to school, bring him back, you know,
everything.
And the meaning I'll treat him like you
know, he'll be a kid and or he'll
treat me like I'm a kid in his
house, and he'll treat me like all of
his other kids. Right? That we you mix
as equals with, one another. You treat each
other like you would wanna be treated yourself.
You treat other people's children like you'd want
your own children to be treated. You treat
other people's sisters like you, you,
want your sisters to be treated, etcetera, etcetera.
So that's the,
that's the model put forth by the Quran
that even then, that's permissible because it's recognized
that it's a necessity. Otherwise, what will happen,
nobody will touch the orphan with a 10
foot pole. They're gonna be sitting outside with,
like, a 100, you know, gold coins in
the street corner. What happens happens.
That's also not a that's also not a
good thing. And the people who take care
so imagine you have some orphan in your
house.
Oh, look. You're getting $1,000
a month. That's great. Right? It's not easy.
This country has this country has such a
huge foster care system. Their short term foster
care I mean, the foster care system doesn't
just have orphans, sadly, has people with parents
who are alive, but, like, remarkably dysfunctional or,
you know, criminal problems or this or that.
You know? And there are people who take
care of the the foster kids as well.
And sometimes those people actually get paid by
the state, and they get paid well.
They get paid well. But it's still even
if someone pays you a lot,
it's still not easy to have, like, another
person in your your house. And people have
emotional issues, they've lost their parents. They're gonna
have some emotional issues, obviously. Like,
you
know, for for it's there's gonna be issues.
There's gonna be times the kids are gonna
cry. There's gonna be time the kids are
gonna act out. When your kids act out,
you're like, oh, it's my kids. You know?
You have a different mindset to it. Someone
else's kids, it's difficult to
to deal with,
for people. For some people, it's difficult to
deal with their own kids when they act
out. You know, they know how to deal
with it properly. Right?
So even those people, it's not like they're
just a 100 evil because, oh, you should
be doing it for the sake of Allah
Ta'ala.
Okay. If you can do it, go for
it. That's like a even higher thing. But
people shouldn't
look down on this. In fact, if we
took care of one another,
and we knew how to take care of
one another,
then,
and and if we knew how to take
care of one another, it would be a
much more cohesive,
community that we have. And our community definitely
lacks cohesion.
That that we lack, that's kind of more
of a Khaldunian discussion, not for this time,
but it's it is important.
It it is important, and it is kind
of necessary for to keep some sort of
minimum bar for spirituality. One of the things
I wanna point out right now
is if this is the case for,
that there's permission in the Quran even though
to run the consumer money is considered to
be like eating fire. You have inside of
your,
stomach, inside of your body cavity.
But there is permission for a proper type
of,
a proper type of consumption
when they are
put under guardianship,
then we should also think about that with
our relatives
and with one another as well. But don't
consume one another's,
don't consume one another's wealth wrongfully.
Don't consume 1 don't impose yourself on one
another wrongfully.
And don't take it poorly of somebody if
you like you know? Because this is the
issue, especially when we come from, like, old
cultures, tribal type cultures, or,
like, ossified cultures, like, busy culture and things
like that where
people have these relationships
and their expectations that come with these relationships,
but those expectations are not bad. I'm not
trying to say because if you look, oh,
look, this is not Islam. This is culture.
Shut up, man. Like, culture, who would you?
You live in some sort of, like, sanitized
vacuum, like, abstract vacuum. No. You know? What
I will say is that sometimes cultural expectations
are
calibrated for what? For a time and place
and for circumstances that don't exist anymore.
So don't don't do this. You know? Like,
even if you're staying with your brother, even
if you're staying with your parents, even if
your parents are staying with you, you're staying
with your children, if you're don't come with
expectations and put burden on people. Even if
you stay and put burden on people. Even
if you stay the weekend with your your
brother, it's one thing. Okay. Your
brother, like, you know, owns, like, whatever, like,
10% of Tesla and, like, you stayed the
weekend with him.
In that case, if he says it's okay,
you know, you stay with him. No problem.
It's okay. If you know you work, he
works.
You struggle, he struggles. You pay rent, he
pays rent. You know?
Then don't don't eat from,
one another,
without
without necessity. Don't be a burden on one
another without necessities. It's still problematic. And the
person who can stay away from those things,
then when they come to a yateem, then
they'll have the habits and the mindset in
place
to know how to manage things because they
know what it means to, like, take care
of another person, what another person's needs are.
They're attenuated to them. It's not some, you
know, if you deal with society through expectation,
then you're not gonna know then how to,
like, serve someone's needs when the expectation is
0.
So the Rasulullah
stay away
from 7
things that destroy.
So
this is the expression even in English, it's
the 7 deadly sins. Although, I don't think
that Christians have exactly the same list as
as we do.
But,
it says the 7 7 things that destroy.
And
so he says that, what are they?
The the the companions
asked what are they, oh messenger of Allah.
And he said,
associate partners with Allah,
and,
sorcery,
and to
kill,
another soul that Allah hasn't,
made unlawful except for
except for by,
it's
it's hot.
And
the consumption of
the wealth of an orphan
and running away,
on the day of,
on the day of,
battle
and
wrongful accusation of,
a,
the believing,
Muslim women,
even if they are heedless.
Because a woman, like,
does something that out of heedlessness
that opens her up to some sort of
accusation, but she did it out of heedlessness.
But the accusation is for anyone.
And here,
he says he says that
the meaning they're behind their backs to that
they they're unaware of the
accusation that's being thrown around about them. And
this is one of the amazing things about
the
civilization of Islam is that is
itself
a sin that's, like has corporal punishment so
people don't throw it like mudsling at one
another.
If you if someone something happened, you gotta
speak up about it right away.
And if you bury it to the point
where there's no way that it can be
investigated or litigated in any conclusive way, then
just let it go because nothing can happen.
People like, oh, you know, this thing happened
to so and so. They didn't
speak up at the time because they're paralyzed
and they're this and they're that. That's fine.
That happens.
It's unfortunate when it happens,
and I have a lot of sympathy for
people to whom it happens.
But that being said, in order to open
up that box, it should be clear to
anybody that, like, you know, making accusations, like,
you know, well, you know, like, Brett
Kavanaugh, the Supreme Court justice when they were,
you know and I don't particularly like or
dislike the guy. I'm just saying, you know,
like, when they when he was
or endorsed or, opposes
nomination or whatever. But when they were when
they were, doing the senate confirmation hearings,
they're interviewing a girl who's, like, yeah, 25
years ago.
We were at, like, a pool party, and
we were in a room. And I he
was wearing swimsuit, and I was wearing a
bikini, and we were both drunk. And then
he did this.
You tell me how how in the world
are you gonna be able
to
evaluate what happened, what didn't happen objectively.
You're gonna take one person's word or you're
gonna take another person's word.
If the principle of the law is that
it's better to let a guilty
party go free than to,
punish an innocent party,
then
even bringing things up like this are, like,
really problematic.
And because they're so sensitive, they're so sensitive.
These issues issues like this are so sensitive.
Once the accusation is out of the bag,
everybody will think, oh, look. This person is
like this. This person is like that.
And,
what happens is that the whole society, when
it fills to the brim with accusations like
that, then people are like, well, everybody's like
that, and they actually start behaving like that.
And so this is
you know, I think this is something that's
really beautiful about
the civilization of Islam
is that you can't really just go around
talking smack like that. You know? If something
happened, you know, it should be clear.
And if not, then don't bring it up.
But the reason that this hadith was mentioned
in this bab is what?
Is because,
he mentions in a Di, a tahrim of
Di.