Hamzah Wald Maqbul – Mlik Fiqh Gender Interactions & Prohibitions of the Tongue Addison 04012020
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So we continue where we left off yesterday.
We were talking about the
prohibition
of looking at the haram and how,
you know, people generally take that that hook
them, that commandment to be in a very
particular context. And it definitely does exist in
that particular context, but it exists in so
much more than as well.
So,
the author continues.
And this is a a takfiq and a
reassurance from,
from the sharia alayhi salatu wa salam
that,
if you see something haram,
by accident or by
necessity.
A person is walking in the street and
they see someone they shouldn't see or they
see something that they shouldn't see.
The first look
is not a sin as long as it's
not done with intention, as long as it's
done,
as long as it's done without intentionality.
And this is important to remember that
created this,
created this world, and it's an imperfect place.
And don't let that imperfection get you bent
out of shape because it's a a problem
the first problem that people have to get
over is apathy
that, you know, nobody cares halal, haram, dirty,
clean. All of it is,
all of it is,
you know,
the same to a dead heart.
In fact, a a really a really, like,
messed up heart will actually
prefer
the,
will prefer the the the dirty to the
clean and the haram to the permissible.
And this is part of the secret why
nifaq, why,
hypocrisy is worse, the worst of types of
kufr because
it involves a type of deviation that can
only be achieved with knowledge. Whereas,
you know,
those people who are,
described
the people of Kufr that are described in
the Quran as
as grazing animals,
or even less guided than them. They're just
kinda doing what they're doing. They're not necessarily
intending to disobey Allah, and they're not necessarily
intending to obey him. They're just doing random
stuff, and it's not really all that helpful
for them.
So
at any rate, the point is is this
is at the first stage is getting over
apathy.
Then after that when, you know, once you're
over that, some people slip into this kinda
like pigeonhole where
they get bent out of shape out over
everything
in the world that's not right.
And,
you know, you can't solve everything. You're not
the one who created the heavens and the
earth. You're not the one who,
that you're not the one who, you know,
the entire heavens and the earth is dependent
on you. And,
you know, the heavens and the earth can't
do anything without you. And whoever wrongly believes
that the heavens and the earth can do
something without you,
you have,
you know, left the deen and, you know,
become from the people of perdition. That's Allah,
you know? And,
that he will never be extinguished nor will
he cease to exist, and nothing occurs or
nothing exists in this universe except for because
of his because he wants it to exist.
And, you know, someone might say, well, how
can he want sin to exist?
He wants sin to exist because he wants
the person committing the sin to be punished
for it,
or he wants somebody to be harmed by
it, or he wants somebody to be be
patient with it, and then that person will
be elevated in rank, etcetera, etcetera. You know,
like, the the brothers of Sayna Yusuf alayhi
salaam?
They put Sayna Yusuf alayhi salaam through so
much difficulty, through so much difficulty, and they
all made toba at the end. So inshallah,
they're all from the people of,
of Jannah,
afterward. And so it's not even necessarily because
he wants to punish somebody, but he wants
something out of it.
And,
if Saidid al Yusuf alaihis salam, you know,
didn't get thrown in the well, then he
wouldn't have been sold to slavery into Egypt,
and then he wouldn't have been raised in
the house of the Azis, and then he
wouldn't have been false accused, and then he
wouldn't have been cellmates with the, you know,
with the steward of the king, and then
he wouldn't have interpreted the king's dream, then
he wouldn't have been prime minister.
And, you know, and then he wouldn't have,
you know, fulfilled the dream that he had
that Allah said he was gonna be fulfilled,
that he wouldn't have been able to save
the people of Egypt from,
from starvation.
You know. And,
so, like, you know, there's so many hiccup.
There's so so much wisdom
on
on that. So don't walk around. The point
is, in this the wisdom that we pull
from this hookahum of the first look at
being free is not what, like, whatever, like,
bro Islam, you know, like, oh, dude, you
know, like, first looks free, so make sure
you take a good look. That's not the
point.
Any part that of the first look that
has intentionality is just as haram as any
other look. But the point is don't walk
around getting bent out of shape. Don't walk
around being like, oh, I hate everybody. Why
is,
you know, why is this woman dressed this
way? Why is this person dressed that way?
Why is this thing happening? Why is that
thing? Why why why why why why why?
You don't ask why when it comes to
Allah.
Allah is the one ultimately who chooses why
things happen.
We're obliged to hate sin. We're not obliged
to make sure that the heavens and the
earth runs with infallibility.
And
so the the first look being free is
actually a takif. It's like
a liberation and a manumission and a commuting
of your sentence
that,
you know, just look away and move on
with your life.
Don't be so consumed and subsumed with
how wrong everybody else is that you,
it impedes you from from knowing what your
purpose is and, you know, what you wanna
do that's right in the world.
If everybody if everybody in an instant, you
know, will will
protect us. If everybody was to leave the
deen except for you.
So the big Molanasab
who's talking shop about Malik Yefik, you see
him tomorrow, you know, doing something untoward.
And the masajid, you see them filled with
idols, and it it's all gone. All the
Islam is gone. It's just you.
Are you gonna spend the rest of your
life,
talking about how bogus everybody else is, or
are you gonna still worship Allah?
Are you gonna spend the rest of your
life hating on everybody else, or are you
still gonna make your peace with your lord
before you leave? You know? And this is
this is this is this is what this
is all about. That if you see something
that you're not supposed to see, look away,
keep moving.
Look away and keep moving.
And so there's a a couple of, more
exceptions.
So there's no harej in looking at a,
like a old woman, a woman who's become
so old that there's, you know, that a
person wouldn't desire her anymore.
And so someone might say, well, these things
are all relative, and they are all relative.
You know, like,
you know, some women age very gracefully.
Some men age very gracefully as well.
And some of us
are a complete car accident, and there's a
wisdom in Allah giving every condition to every
person.
But,
you know, the the the the the,
the
the the woman who's become so old that
she's no longer
desired in that way.
And on the flip side, you know, if
a woman is reading, the man who's become
so old,
that he he's no longer desired in that
way. And,
with it also is then, like, the the
same * attraction as well.
Then there's no harm in in looking at
that person with with need.
Now, or there's no harm at looking at
that person when you talk to them. One
of the,
wisdoms in mentioning this right now is that
so that so that people don't get into
this, like,
I don't know, weird, like, misogynistic
or, like, awkward,
antagonism to the opposite gender or to some
you know, to the gender of attraction.
That women are not evil. I remember myself,
I mean, like, you know, I was I
was hardcore as a student. Allah forgive me
now, like I feel
I feel,
I feel like perhaps, you know, things
have calmed down since then.
Although a person moves in their iman through
different phases. You know?
So,
you know? But we there was a lot
of fervor I used to hold
very close to,
very close and very hard and fast
to what I learned in a way that,
like, was,
you know, it characterizes the heat of youth.
And so I remember once,
one of my mother's cousins came
to Al Ain, where I was studying,
and, my mother mentioned that to me. And,
I was a young man, unmarried, etcetera.
So I asked my Ustad that I read
this book from, my sheikh.
I asked him. I said that this woman
is coming,
but she's not a because she's my mother's
cousin. So would it be would it be
proper for me to visit her, or should
I just, like, you make an excuse and
duck out?
And the sheriff says not only is it
proper for you to visit her, it's it's
her right that you should visit her and
you should honor her as if she's your
mother.
And,
I don't know. Like, now, after having studied
for a while, it seems like, duh, like,
that's obviously the answer.
But at the time when someone doesn't tell
you because you don't wanna be nonchalant and
you don't wanna be, like,
flippant about the and dismiss something that you
should be observing when you should be observing
it.
But, like, there's a kinda weird I think
I can see if people don't have,
connection with the scholars, with the and the
people who can guide them on these things.
How they could, like,
you know, like, go so so hardcore. And
then after a while, like, men actually start
to resent women, and women start to resent
men and, like, look at them as evil.
And so a type of this happens in
Christianity where, like, there's a type of misogyny,
that that creeps in. And the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam wasn't a misogynist. He loved
women. You know? He loved he loved women.
He had,
he loved women in all different contexts. He
loved, you know, he loved his, his his
wives.
He loved his mothers.
He he treated his mother with, his own
mother with love and mentioned her with love
and reverence.
You know, he treated his mother, Halima to
Sadia, his foster mother, with love and reverence.
He treated his mother,
Amen Barakatul Habashia,
his Abyssinian foster mother with so much love
and and and and, you know, so much
respect. And,
you know, he took care of her needs.
He took her seriously. He his he had
a sister. He had a foster sister. You
know, he treated her well.
She's,
you know, Shema, the daughter of,
the daughter of Harima Sadiya, you know. And
then Nabi saw Islam, you know, his daughters,
look how how how much he loved his
daughters and how well he treated them. Look
how how how beautifully he dealt with the
the the the ladies of the, the Ansar.
How beautifully he dealt with the ladies of
the Muhajarin.
How beautifully he dealt with the Muslim act,
with the women, of Islam.
You know? He was not a misogynist by
any stretch of the imagination, like, duck and
run. Oh my god. There's a woman. She's
gonna, like, destroy me.
Now,
obviously, he's the messenger of Allah
and everybody has to, like, play this thing
at their level. So if you're, like, a
super hormoned out, like,
17 year old, then, now is not the
time for you to, like, super engross yourself
and, like, whatever,
being, you know, super friendly with the ladies.
Why? Because there's a danger for you at
that point. But that's not about them. That's
about you.
You know what I mean? So don't let
it be, you know, that that you make
the opposite gender into an you know, that
they're all evil. And some brothers do this
and some sisters do this. All men are
evil. All women are evil. All men are
this. All women are this. How are you
gonna this is the complete, like, plot of
Shaytan that if you resent one another, you're
just gonna
destroy, the human race. How are you gonna
make a family if you think that, like,
the other half of the genome of your
progeny is necessarily evil?
And so it's good. You know, like, you
know, the that there's no harm from from
from her,
potentially in this in this regard.
It's okay. You know, like, if it's your
mother's, your mother's friends, you know,
It's okay. Honor them. Treat them differently than
you would like, you know,
the girl from, you know, across the street
who makes you feel funny or whatever.
There's a difference. But even the girl from
across the street who makes you feel funny
she's a human being. You know what I
mean? And that's not her fault, nor is
it her problem. So when you're avoiding her,
in order to spare her from your harm
and spare,
yourself from her harm or, you know, remember
that that that's this is this avoidance is
not because there's anything wrong with her. Even
a person's like, well, she dresses this way
and she this and that. Okay. Fine. Everybody
has sin. Maybe she dresses that way,
for some insecurity that she has or from
some for some other issue she doesn't know
better. She's not doing it in order to
destroy you.
Now,
that may be a a side consequence, you
know. And so
people should also, be very careful about how,
how they present, to the opposite gender to
not be a fitna for that person.
We don't subscribe to this theory in Islam
like, well, that's their problem and they should
like, just lower their gaze and then you,
you know, walk around dressed up done up
like a peacock.
You know, that's not,
that's not that's not you should have some
consideration, some concern how you appear in in
front of other people. And at the same
time,
you know, like, if a woman or a
man for that matter dresses a certain way
and then someone
someone,
does something bad to them or sexually abuses
them,
It's not their fault because
nobody deserves to be abused. There's, like, so
much going on. There's so much false,
I guess, false equivalency
and so much, like, generalization that happens. There's
a lot more going on here,
than I think first meets the eye. But
the sensibility, the sun at any rate, to
make a long story short,
is that is that what is that there's
that there's nothing evil about a person that
you're attracted to. You just spare yourself from
their harm. They spare themselves from yours. And
the the the Leel is what if somebody
becomes older, somebody's in a position where they're
no longer
a fitna for that, you know, for that
thing, then you revert to the default, which
is to treat them with,
to treat them, you know, like you would
treat anybody else.
And he mentions that even a woman who
is attractive,
there's no harm in,
looking at her, for a necessity, a sharia
countenance necessity. We mentioned some of those things
from before,
which is,
which is the,
for example, giving testimony in the court
or something, a legal necessity like that, or,
and that's what he mentions.
He says also there's also
permission for looking at a girl that you're
thinking about marrying. In fact, it's a it's
a look at a girl that you're thinking
about marrying. In fact, don't marry a girl
that you're not attracted to.
Yeah. There's a a quote that is attributed
to Imam Ahmed Ben Humble, and I'm not
sure about the veracity of the quote. Maybe
if Sheikh Musa listens later or something like
that, he can he can,
straighten it out. But I I read somewhere
that said that let a man first see
what a woman looks like if he's interested
in marriage, and then afterward, ask about her
dean. Because if he
if he sees, her and she's not attracted
he's not attracted to her and says no
because of that, that's more seemingly than if
he's asked about her dean and he's pleased
with her dean, and then he finds out
afterward that he's not attracted to her and
says no.
So, that's that. And, you know, same *
attraction is a is a thing that was
there in human societies.
Some societies suffer from it more than others,
but it's something that we should talk about
and deal with as well.
Because just because a person is attracted to
the same gender,
doesn't necessarily
mean that that person is even a bad
person. Oftentimes, these are,
you know, there's a whole discussion. Are people
born that way or not? And I don't
have a horse in that race. A lot
knows best. You know? But what I what
I do know at least anecdotally is that
a majority of the people who have same
* attraction, especially for gay men,
that I've anecdotally,
dealt with, they've been abused as children somehow.
And so at any rate, it's involuntary.
It's like this thing that's that's there with
them, and they they've been shackled with it
because of somebody else's abuse. It's involuntary.
So if they suffer from that thing,
in and of itself doesn't mean that they're
bad people or evil people or they're going
to help. The sin is acting on it.
The sin is not having the attraction. The
sin is acting on it. The person resists
the attraction. That person will, will be,
that person that person will be rewarded more
than a person who doesn't have to deal
with that.
But,
you know, there is a difference between
there is a difference between a non Macron
woman
who is not, like, you know, who still
have, like, age that that that, and a
person would be attracted to her. And then
there's a difference between,
and definitely in that is all non Macron
women who are still, like that haven't hit
menopause yet.
And then,
there's a difference between that and between, like,
a man who's attracted to other men.
Why? Because the they
they function on certain defaults.
And then afterward, in exceptional cases, there are
exceptional rules, but the rules are based on
on on the on the defaults of the
general
the the the general condition of people.
So in that sense, in general, it is
haram for a non Mahram man to look
at the aurava non Mahram woman
and,
vice versa.
And then also,
it is, it is not permissible
to look at each other,
for more than what is necessary.
And those exceptions, we mentioned some of them
in the,
in the book, just now.
And so
how do we deal with
how do we deal with,
like, same * attraction then?
Azrut Mawana,
Hakimu Ummah, Ashraf Ali Khanu
was actually asked this question from a disciple
of his.
And look at this, you know, this is
his disciple is a
a a scholar. He's a teaches Quran to
children.
And he has this fear inside of him
that I don't know, like, you know, I
don't know if I'm attracted to, I'm attracted
to the the children or not. I don't
know if I'm attracted to the young boys
or not. And so he writes to his
shift to ask what should I do, you
know. Because what happens is sometimes people have
these thoughts that come to their minds,
and,
they may actually freak out and run away
when they shouldn't run away,
or they may ignore it and actually do
bad with it. So he's asking his Sheikh.
He said, I don't know. Is this, like,
really a problem for me? Because I never
done anything like this before. But, like, the
thought comes to my mind that what if
you have this attraction for this for the
children or whatever, you're getting sent from this.
So,
he said he he he made a very
simple
he made a very simple,
Tajuiz or a solution to this problem, you
know, to figure out what should he do.
He said he said that the boys that
you teach, if you sit them on your
lap and you feel awkward inside when that
happens, you feel something sexual move inside of
you, you feel some sort of pleasure or
something like that, he said that that that
it's hard for you to teach the children.
Don't don't teach them.
If you can sit the child on your
lap and just play with it play with
it like a little a you know, you
play with the little kid, it's not sexual,
then he said then this is just a
waham, this is just the waswasa that's inside
of your head, and put it aside and
keep going on and teaching.
And,
that's the the
the benchmark also for a person with a
person of, you know, the opposite with the
person of the same gender. With opposite gender,
the rules are very clear.
Even if you're not attracted to them, the
rules are still very clear.
It doesn't really make much of a difference,
if you're attracted or not. Because eventually, 2
peep 2 people of the opposite gender and
normal disposition, if they have enough contact with
each other, they're able
to
do what, people of the opposite gender do
when there's enough contact with each other.
However, with the opposite gender, or with the
same gender, it can be a little tricky.
So if you feel that feeling,
when you're alone or close or touching a
person of the same gender, then a person
should,
you know a person knows that this person
also to look at them, the hook them
changes,
you know, that it becomes haram and to
touch them like that becomes haram. To be
alone with them, you know, depending on how
intense those feelings are, then they'll deal with
it. Be alone with them can become haram.
All those things can become haram.
And we're not, you know, we're not I'm
not the person who's gonna start calling people
names. If this is the condition you suffer
from, this is the condition you suffer from,
Allah give you patience and protect all of
us all of us from the evil of
our own nafs. Everybody has some different desire
that they that that they have that is
not conformant with the Sharia that they struggle
with at some point or another.
Allah help you with your your struggle, but
you gotta be honest with yourself. You gotta
control yourself. This is the thing that you're
suffering from. Figure it out and then then
impose that part of the sharia on yourself
in order to,
you know, in order to
save yourself from it.
And then move on. You know? Don't beat
yourself up like, oh, I'm I'm this and
that. I'm I'm, I, you know, I'm defective.
I'm bad. I'm so start calling yourself names
and things like that. And, you know, what
happens, Shaitan likes people to do that. Why?
Because it it causes them to give up
hope and it causes them to then,
wanna give up. And I'll I'll tell you
this, you know, Allah, alhamdulillah, spared me from
this fitna, but,
you know, I know people who suffer from
this fitna,
and they struggle with their own selves, and
many of them are, you know, they're like
the holy of Allah. I mean, they're people
they go, they do Hajj, they read, they
they, study. They,
you know,
they pray. They do all of these things.
And, Alataq can give such a person a
very high rank. You know?
A person can and, you know, like I
said, these are exceptional
matters. So if a person is confused about
these things, I advise that they go and
find, one of the
and take, advice from them, someone that they
trust,
and somebody who's learned in the law and
also has some sort of modicum of common
sense rather than going to the most gung
ho person who's just gonna be like, go
kill yourself or whatever.
It's really bad. I actually I I I
get, like, all kinds of emails and communications.
There was a woman who had some issue
of a sexual nature, some sin she did,
and it was admittedly it was pretty bad.
It was not it was not good. And
she said that I asked a local imam,
and he said to keep for to for
me that the only toblah is for me
to kill myself. Is that true? I said
there's no there's no crime or sin in
the Sharia that that that the the
thing you know, the the punishment prescribed for
it is to kill yourself.
And,
you know, what you did is admittedly bad,
but you seem to be cognizant of how
bad it is now. So just don't do
it again. You know, feel bad about it.
Just don't do it again and stay away
from the means to do it again and
just just let it be done.
You know, a lot of oftentimes will,
you know, give us these tests,
these spiritual and moral tests as a way
for us to humble ourselves, you know.
Don't think you're, you know, don't think that
you're cool. Don't think you're all spiritual seedy
out to the 7th degree. He knows who
fears him.
And,
you know, sometimes a couple of sins under
the belt makes a person humble,
instead of being arrogant.
And, that's not to say that it's okay
to sin in order to become humble, but
if it happened, then just remember those things
once, you know, when you when you read
your tawai and you're feeling all Ramadan high
as a
kite and judgmental about people, you know, remember
remember those sins enough to, like, put your
feet back down on the ground and to
feel feel bad, so that you can repent
in earnest and sincerity.
Allah doesn't need to punish anybody.
Allah doesn't want to punish anybody. You know
what I mean? He doesn't need to punish
anybody, and he doesn't want to punish everybody,
I should say.
And, he's the one who
he fixed as a commandment,
over himself,
of mercy. And he's the one who declared
that my mercy outstrips my wrath.
And he's our hamarrahmin.
He's the most merciful, the merciful.
And he's the one who said in his
book,
Oh
my all my slaves who have
have
wronged themselves.
Don't ever give up hope in the mercy
of Allah.
Indeed, he forgives all sins. Indeed, he was
always
the the
the forgiving and the merciful.
So
let's see. We have a couple of questions.
It looks like you're on the docket. It's
a super basic molecule. So we'll get to
that at the end.
How about cousins? I am a Latino convert,
and I got a lot of girl cousins.
I am still trying to navigate that with
my big family. I see a lot of
them as sisters. I know they are non,
though in the Sharia.
Yeah. So
this goes to,
corroborate a theory that I hold, which is
like,
Latino is just alt desi or desi is
alt latino, whichever way makes you feel happy.
But that's that's the case, you know, that's
the case with a lot of us. I
suspect that the the Arabs are like that
as well.
And,
yeah. You know,
that's the same thing growing up. Our our
our female cousins were like sisters to us.
And, but the Sharia is the Sharia. So
obviously, your your first cousin or whatever is
not like just some, like, random woman off
the street. Okay?
So if you talk to her in the
sense like how are you? How is your
mother? Do you need anything?
You know you know, can I help you
move this and that? Like, those things, those
are very normal,
for that context.
But it doesn't mean that, like, you, that
you compliment her on her hair, and, like,
you hang out the 2 of you alone,
and you, like, you know, like, look her
up and down, at some point or another,
you know, you cross you cross that line.
So just be, you know and so that
has to do with what has to do
with who that person is, who you are,
and what your state is, what their state
is.
So if they don't observe boundaries with you,
you gotta protect yourself. If you find yourself
not observing boundaries with them, you also have
to protect yourself and protect them as well.
And,
you know, if they're, like, you know, live,
like,
whatever,
in Costa Rica and you, like, never met
them, you know, ever, you don't have to
call them and talk to them on the
phone every day.
But, you know, if they're your neighbors and,
like, you go to their house all the
time and whatever, there's a certain modicum of
interaction that is customary.
If you're free from harm from it, that's
fine. But under no circumstance are you allowed
to, like, look at them more than is
necessary in order to keep
your familial relations? Under no circumstance are you
allowed to look at their aura. Under no
circumstance if you enjoy and get some sort
of pleasure out of looking at them. And
that doesn't you know, when we say sexual
pleasure, that doesn't just mean, like,
you know, in the grossest sense of the
word.
But,
you know, even just like there's a type
of look and a type of,
you know,
type of enjoyment a person hasn't seen someone
who's beautiful, that's not gonna necessarily,
like,
result in, you know,
something something further along in the process.
It's not gonna result in, like, whatever, an
erection or so, you know, something like that.
It's not gonna result in those things, but
that looks itself.
A person should,
hold themself back from it. And, you know,
the the the you know, your girl cousins
may laugh at you and mock mock you
for, like, looking away or looking down or
whatever. But, you know, most women most women
will respect you for that because they're accustomed
to a lifetime worth of men.
Basically,
you know, trying to offer them,
trying to offer them,
intimate relations
in many different ways. So they'll respect the
fact that you respect them. If they don't,
I don't know what to do. I mean,
at some point, you shouldn't go out out
of your way to offend people, but at
the same time, you know, you're not gonna
make everybody happy. And making people happy is
not a reason to destroy yourself. So you
gotta navigate that like all of us do.
Mahmoud Sarkar asks, how do we handle boundaries
in terms of employment? Employment is a necessity.
So,
you just interact with, with, you know, the
the people of opposite gender at your employment,
as long as,
as long as,
you know, as long as it's what what's
needed for your employment and you don't fear
crossing any boundary with anybody,
that much is that much is forgiven.
Random YouTuber asks how to avoid shaking the
hands of older female cousins without being scolded
by the family.
First of all, there's a precept in the
There is no,
there's no allowance for obedient
obedience or obeying the the the creation,
in the disobedience of the creator.
So,
you know, if you're grown if you're grown
adult, you know,
as we say in the, you know, in
the millennial,
young people, youngster,
language, you're a grown * man,
then what your family says and what they
don't say,
you know, you should have a thick skin
with regard to it. If they, you know,
if they scold you for not eating pork,
then you still don't eat pork. And if
they scold you, you know, because something like
that is haram. To touch the skin of
a non mahar woman
is is is an enormity,
and, it's just inviting halakh. It's inviting destruction
on a person.
It's not a good thing. It's not only
is it haram, but there there's, like, a
gross violation
and clear violation of,
you know, of of of this,
you know, this precept of keeping keeping separation
between the genders.
So,
you know, like other things, it's important not
to escalate things unnecessarily.
So you can be polite. You can explain
politely. If afterward, people don't understand and they
don't want to,
they don't wanna understand that they don't wanna
accept the deen, we're not gonna we're not
gonna kill ourselves or or destroy our deen,
just in order to satisfy, you know, the
ignorant expectations of ignorant people.
Even most American non Muslims, you know, at
some point or another, they respect the fact
that you have your religion and you believe
what you believe.
And if, if, you know, people who don't
care about the din even if they're our
relatives, they they can't have that much,
respect for us, then the Sharia even allows
you to avoid them to some degree in
order to in order to protect your deen.
But, you don't have to, you know, you
know, there's oftentimes with all these things, people
look at them through, like, a legalistic lens.
There's a way of circumnavigating
a lot of these problems,
but that's more of an art and less
of a science. It's not the subject of
it is less fit and,
and it's just more like
the school of being alive. That's why it's
it's it's it's it's fun to hang out
with people who have, like, large families because
they
oftentimes get really, really they're really adept at
dealing with different types of people. And dealing
with human beings, my goodness, is is, is
a lifelong struggle.
And, Allah Allah protect us. This is one
of the duas of the prophet, sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam. Will
be come in,
will be coming.
He said that I I I seek refuge
in you from,
the the the the destructive grief about what
happened in the past that, like, destroys my
today.
And,
sorry, the, the sorry. The destructive
the destructive fear of tomorrow that destroys my
today and the destructive grief,
about what happened yesterday that destroys my today.
And I I seek refuge in you from
from, in incompetence. I just inability to do
the things I need to get done in
my life.
Well, kasab
and from from the laziness that that, you
know, that that that prevents me from doing
what I need to do.
And now and I see refuge from you,
Sorry. In you from,
cowardice
and from,
miserliness
that prevents me from spending on those things
that I need to spend on. Where I
would become in,
and I I seek refuge in you from
being so in-depth that it
bends me under its pressure.
That every any that the other human beings
should ever have the upper hand on over
me, or that they should, like, control me,
or that they should, like, overwhelm me, and
I just be like their prisoner. You know?
And and we should make these duas, you
know, sometimes dealing with human beings is really
difficult.
Always ask Allah for help, and in general,
you know, conflict is a tool in, in
a person's,
toolkit for dealing with other human beings,
but it's avoidance,
is generally
the path of least resistance. And,
you know,
avoiding people is better than getting into conflict
with them. And,
and and trying to understand where they're coming
from and trying to assuage,
you know, their,
fears or their issues is better than avoiding
them. And by just use use of,
Ruben Bautista
says, Alhamdulillah for big families. Really, it is
a blessing.
Really, it is a blessing. And, you know,
that's you know, the Nabi Salaam, who were
the his biggest haters? They're all his relatives.
Right?
Abu Jahl, it's his uncle.
He's a hater. Abu Lahab was his father's
brother, and he was a complete hater. He
was he was a total hater.
Literally, he was such a hater of Banu
Hashim. All of Banu Hashim, the Muslims amongst
them, and the people who hadn't accepted Islam
yet, they all disowned him
because because of how much of a hater
he was.
He actually sided against his own family just
because he hated the prophet
so much. You know? Abu Talib, he wasn't
a hater. He loved the prophet. He still
didn't accept the hymn, though. You know? You
see all these subtleties, nuances. The prophet had
to deal with all of them, and that
was Jahilia.
You know? So, you know,
hi, Ruben. You know, you and and like
all of us, you know, be charming, you
know? Make wear a dress nicely, wear good
clothes,
you know, give out the best presence,
you know, when it's when it's time for
either, when it's time to do so, you
know.
Speak well,
you know, do good by people, be a
good guy, you know.
Inshallah, maybe maybe some of those people who
are on the fence will join you, and
maybe the ones who hate you the most
one day when they flip, they'll flip the
hardest, and you'll see those cats at the
Masjid, you know, like yelling at everybody else,
why aren't you praying? And you're like, man,
this dude gave you the hardest time when
that when I just accepted Islam.
Anyhow,
we're we're we're,
wandering away from fit and into Oprah Winfrey
territory here. So we're gonna we're gonna we're
gonna, reel it back in here,
a little
bit. So he says, yeah.
It's
there's some dispensation
for,
there's some dispensation
for,
looking at a woman for
the purposes of marriage. And that's in
hijab. That a man can look at the
face of a woman in the hands.
You have all of these,
you know, crank,
fatwas,
you know, rolling around saying that you see
the entire body of a woman naked if
you intend on marrying her. And,
you know,
though that that opinion is is is it
seems like real, intellectual until the person who's
giving it to us say, okay. Let me
see your daughter. I'm interested in marrying her.
Let me send her some some pics of
me. And then it becomes personal and feel,
how dare you this and that and blah
blah blah. The reason is what's good for
the goose is good for the gander. The
reason that that fit doesn't work is that
if you're offended by the idea, then it's
like, it should be intuitive to you why
that's not that's not that it doesn't work
that way.
And, this leads us to
a small segment.
You know, I try generally try to avoid
mentioning people like this because they're,
the the beast only grows stronger,
by giving more attention. So that's why we'll
bury it in the middle of the the
the the the 2 eyed Dajjal from Birmingham,
an individual who I actually personally have no
problem with. He's actually kind of a fun
guy to hang out with as a human
being. But for whatever reason, when the camera
turns on,
he has this weird need,
to,
say the dumbest of things in order to
get attention,
which is fine. You should have been a
comedian instead of going to Madrasa,
Or you could have been a comedian despite
going to Madrasa, but don't make the dean
into your mockery. But he just says the
of things in order to
elevate himself higher and higher in his, you
know, his addiction to attention. Allah protect us.
Allah give us from his attention, the attention
that we don't need the attention of the
creation
afterward. And so, you know, he had another,
he had another, video.
Legions of people sent it to me in
which he basically bad mouthed me. He lied
and said that, I had said something in
a certain place. I challenged him as a
show proof that I ever said that. I
never said that. That he's lied and said
that, I I told them that, know, the
Maliki might have that the nika has a
certain way even though it's another way, and
he's showing how incompetent I was. Even though
I taught not only the Maliki, I taught
I've been teaching the rasala of Ibn Abizaid
for years. I even taught the Mavis, the
Hanafi Mavis and Darul Asim. All of them
are upright witnesses. They can tell you that
I taught that masala and other masala,
correct and directly out of this book that
we're reading from. I ignored it. I didn't
mention it,
and I don't I don't need to mention
it. But now, Masha'il, he's even stopped calling
himself a Malachy. It was obvious for years
that he's not a Malachy. So he even
stopped calling himself Malachy. Just go by Abu
Baith now.
And so he just apparently, today, he put
out a video
in which,
he mocked he mocked me for reading Sahih
Bukhari for the lifting of the calamity of
the coronavirus.
And,
my look,
first of all, you're attributing such a big
act to me. Who am I? I only
read 3 kitabs. I read the kitab of
the bayeh
and the kitab of sayd, and I read
the,
the Kitab, Kitab al,
for the person who is obstructed from
making it to, the Mas'il Haram. It's 3
chapters, and there's so many, like, you know,
dozens of Qutub of Bukhari.
And the idea wasn't even mine. It was
of our elder,
just Moana sheikh Amin Kolwaria,
who
who's the principal of Dar Al Qasem, who's
series on the Ursav Kosheria and Darul Qasem's,
YouTube page is really awesome, and you should
you should listen to it.
So it was his idea, and he attributed
it to me. Who am I to receive
this honor?
And everybody, all of them are from our
Chicago read it, but he attributed the reading
to me. Who am I to deserve this
honor?
And he mocked Sahib Bukhari mocked Sahib Bukhari
even though he knows that Allah,
his his own
books,
that the Nabi doesn't
speak from vain desire. Rather, everything he says
is a revelation that's revealed to him to
the point where the ulema considered
the speech of the prophet, salalahu alaihi wa
sallam, to be
that it is the
there's 2 types of revelation, the revelation which
is recited, which is the Quran, the revelation
that's not recited,
which is the,
hadith.
Even though he knows that the Quran itself
says,
That whatever the wrestle gives you, take it.
And whatever the wrestle forbids you from, abstain
from it and fear Allah and know that
Allah is indeed severe
in his torment and severe in his chastisement.
He knows all of that, but he is
just gonna make a mockery of the Sahih
Bukhari. Even if you don't believe that all
of it's hadith are Sahih, which is a
very,
crank position,
to take amongst the Muhaddithin.
But,
at least some of the hadiths in it
are Sahih. But he goes on and mocks
the book. And then he falsely accuses me
of saying that this is how we're going
to solve coronavirus.
Look. How are you gonna solve coronavirus?
The doctors are gonna work on a vaccine.
You're gonna do social distancing.
You're not gonna sneeze and wipe it on
people. And when they sneeze, you're not gonna
let them wipe you. You can do all
of those things. I never said that reading
Sahih Bukhari is the only way,
you know, the only way that a person
is going to,
is going to ward off calamity. But at
the same time,
the maqal of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam is a type of wahi and has
its own barakah.
And as much as
crank muftis
may or may not like it,
right,
Muhammadur Rasool Allah is part of our our
shahada,
and there's a barakah that comes with it.
And that knowledge is preserved through reading these
books.
And, he quoted that the Mongols, when they
invaded the Ulema, read
Sahibuhari, and look, they all got killed. No.
Actually, they didn't all get killed. Actually, a
number of places were defended. And, actually, what
happens to all the Mongols
are the 4 great factions of the Mongols.
Right? The Ilkhanate, which is in Iran,
the Golden Horde, which is,
you know, closer to Russia,
you know,
and, the you know, of the different factions
of the Mongols, 3 out of 4 of
them actually end up becoming Muslim.
And the 4th one, which is the Khanate
of Khubilai Khan in in in China,
they're the ones that bring the greatest cultural
influence of Islam into China.
And many of the Hui Muslims actually come
into China through them, and many of the
the deep,
lasting impacts of Islam and the Muslims on
China come through them to what?
To, through through the Mongols.
So, you know,
mark it all you want. Laugh it up.
I never said I never said that reading
Sahih Bukhari is, like, the only thing that,
solve coronavirus.
Rather, do all these all the other things,
but don't forget the fact that the madad
comes to this,
umma from the higher realm
through the dhikr of Allah
and and and through the itiva, the following
of the messenger of Allah salallahu alaihi wa
sallam
in his worship, in his speech, in his
noble states,
in his outward and inward,
form,
as much as we can conform to it,
that's how much we will we will benefit.
So,
yes.
You know, these are the type of crank
movies that will give you,
these opinions that you can look at the
entire naked body of a woman if you're
interested in marrying her. But, you know, try
try that with their daughters and they'll
at least they have enough fit or they
freak out about it, you know. God protect
us if any of them is, like, okay.
And god protect their daughters as well.
Protect the from
the the, you know, once a person, you
know, the hadith of the process. And if
you don't have
it, shit. If you don't have any, if
you don't have any,
any shame or any, modesty
or any shyness,
then then
then do whatever you want because there's really
nothing left for you,
in in in your uncle, in your in
your
in your or in your,
in your deen or in your in your
heart.
From from the
from the
obligations,
also
is to protect the tongue,
to to guard the tongue from what? From
speaking a lie,
from bearing false witness.
Okay. So a lie is obviously saying something
that's not true.
Bearing false witness is an even worse kind
of lie.
Because the difference between, like, a witness and
just a statement is that when you bear
witness, it's a statement that's in a particular
context, in the context that has to do
with someone's rights. So if you lie at
that occasion, then someone's rights will be taken
away. If you just tell somebody, hey. You
know, 2 +2 equals 7,
that's bad enough.
But, like, if you go to a court
and say, yeah, I saw this person break
the other person's window and the court imposes
a punishment on them, it's not only the
lie, but you also then wrongfully destroy somebody
else's right.
And so,
that's what that's what Zohr is. And Faqsa
is, indecency.
Now faksha in
in,
in, in a person's deeds
is
indecency and deeds is what is
things of, like, sexual nature, things that are
illicit of a sexual nature,
sexual perversion or zina or
some some sort of indecency of a of
a sexual nature. That's what what a, fash
aml fashish is.
Fashat in in a person's speech is what?
Fashat in a person's speech is,
just to be excessive,
to curse, or to just use excessive language.
I swear to god, for everything, you know,
like, you know,
just for everything for for no reason. You
know, this is the dumbest person in the
world. You're so stupid. Instead of being excessive
in your speech all the time,
we're we're we're, we're forbidden from that.
To speak,
about, your brother,
the thing that they wouldn't like. When Namima
to tailbear,
to tailbear,
meaning to tell people about each other's faults.
There's a really beautiful story Portovie mentions,
about Banu Iswael
that say the Musa alayhis salam,
that,
the sacrifice of the qom and the duas
of the qom weren't being being accepted. And,
Allah Allah Allah said the Musa asked asked
why why isn't it being accepted? He said
the
there's a person who's a tale bearer bearer.
He's just going around from one person to
another spreading,
you know, telling people bad things about each
other.
And,
said the most I came back and gathered
and
basically,
exhorted them, made a wow,
a sermon basically about how bad tail bearing
is and how you have to repent. And
because of this, Allah is not accepting from
us, etcetera.
And,
still,
Allah wasn't accepting from them their sacrifices.
So Allah in the sun, the most alaihi
wasalam, asked Allah, he says, you Allah, tell
me who is this Imam who will take
take him out of bound Israel and punish
him.
And Allah said to Sayedidina Musa, how can
I make
saying bad things about others
haram on you, and then you want me
to then say something bad about this person?
I'm not gonna tell you who it is.
And Sayyidina Musa, alayhis salam,
told this that this is what Allah told
him,
to the whole band of Israel.
And then that person was so moved,
by that that they repented and Allah accepted
from them.
Now this may be ironic because I just
took the what like our UK,
friends. Is anyone here from the UK?
Right? He just took the nick out of,
the 2 eyed the jaw of Birmingham.
I'll let that guide him to something better.
Like I said, I have no personal beef
with him. Actually, he's that's like a human
to human. Like, when we sit and drink
chai, he's like a fun guy to hang
out with. I just don't know why when
he gets in front of the camera, he
says all these things about Dean. There are
certain just like there are certain sharia countenance,
exceptions to
looking at the,
aura of Anan Mahram. Just like that, there
are certain
Sharia countenance exceptions to the hirma and
the, prohibition
of
of backbiting and tail bearing.
And, when somebody as a position of a
scholar is saying something wrong about the deen,
it is the duty of the, of the
ulama to, make the rod on them to
refute them.
And like I said,
this man, if he didn't deny the, recoming
of
and many
that are necessarily known, I wouldn't have mentioned
it. And if it wasn't that he was
mocking Sahib Bukhari or if it wasn't that
he was misrepresenting things that I said,
I wouldn't have mentioned it. In fact, a
lot of his weird, fip opinions, I never
used to say anything about them. It's just
when he started saying things in Aqidah that
were Kufra, I couldn't
really like, it's at that point, then the
Sharia doesn't allow me to stay silent about
it.
Otherwise, allah to allah allah toggive all of
us, you know, tawba and give us tawfiq
to make tawba. I undoubtedly have many shortcomings
and faults. Allah rectify them as well
for
me.
You
know,
forgive all of us and Allah
rectify all of our shortcomings.
And, anyway,
so also made it haram that it's haram,
a person has to regard their tongue from
batil,
from speaking,
just plain falsehood.
And,
battle from it, has to do with
has to do with,
also,
you know, spreading battle ideologies.
Now there are people like, there's
a woman, unfortunately. I think I I think
she's probably just flown the coop.
I have a hard time. Anyone could, like,
credibly believe these things. But there was a
woman professor by the name of Amina Wadud
who,
you know, Abu Billah called Saidna Ibrahim, alayhis
salam, a deadbeat dad for leaving
Saidna Ismail and Saida Hajjal in in Makkah.
Well, guess what? Allah Allah elevated them to
a rank through that, which they wouldn't have
reached,
had the they fit her idea of, like,
how what she should what what they should
do and how they should be as a
family. Say the Hajar alayhis salam and say
the Ismael alayhis alayhis salam are actually buried
inside by tradition, they're buried inside the hijr,
the semicircular
wall that, is adjoined to the the current
building of the Kaaba, which is also inside
of the Kaaba. They're actually literally buried inside
of the Kaaba. If a person can imagine
that the Arwa are connected to that place,
and they're they're nourished by the barakat,
that shower on the earth in that place.
The 120
mercies of Allah, the shower on that place.
They're literally bathing in the the mercy of
Allah, the Allah.
So but this woman gave her ba'atil opinion.
Allah,
you know, ordered that the tongue be, protected
from that, that you're not allowed to talk
about that.
All of Allah speak
on the tongue.
And these are 2 very great usul of
the deen.
If you look, if you want to be
an alum, you want to be a faqih
in the sense that the salaf understood, it
doesn't
necessitate memorizing large volumes of information.
Rather, it necessitates
understanding
of things, the usu
that that that govern the universe,
then large amounts of information actually allow you
to
have a more high res picture. You know?
Just like this, YouTube stream is like a
high res. It's 720,
p,
stream.
What's the point of having a 10 80
p stream and it's all just 10 80
of static?
The usul is what allows you to see
the big picture,
and then the information is the resolution of
those data points. And so if you want
to be a faqih, if you wanna be
an island, these are the big picture things
you have to remember. He brings 2 hadiths,
and it's really deep. This is one of
the reasons I love this book, is that
these are things that even a person who
doesn't have the, like, lifetime of study that
they can put in, they can you know,
if you can't memorize a 100,000 hadiths with
the the text and the chain of narration,
memorize these 2 hadiths and see how it
it puts a lot of pieces of the
puzzle into place.
One is whoever believes in Allah and in
the last day, let them say something good
or let them stay silent.
Whoever believes in Allah, let them say something
good or let them stay silent. Now,
this is, you know you know, how come
I can't if it's not haram, why can't
I just say, no. Let them say something
good that's benefit or let them stay silent.
And why is that? It's because the next
hadith he's gonna read, which
is
or
from the beauty of the Islam of a
person. Right? It may not be haram. It
may not be a sin. But if you
wanna have Hasan, if you wanna have Ihsan
in your deen, if you want to be
a beautiful Muslim, you wanna be beautiful in
front of the Lord, and the one who's
beautiful in front of Allah to Allah. Allah
to Allah makes that person beautiful too. Those
creation those from the creation that have beauty
themselves and those from the creation that have
connection with him, Allah will make them beautiful
in this world and make them beautiful on
the day they die and make them beautiful
the day they're right the resurrected and beautiful
and Jannah forever and ever. You
see all these people,
Mahesh Arjeal and Baha'i Nabil
and Ruben Batista. All inshallah by Allah's father
and whoever all
these people, You know? Whether I take your
name or don't, who cares? Allah ta'ala as
long as he takes your name in that
list. That's what matters. Right?
If your name is not taken by Hamza,
who who cares? As long as it's
taken by Allah Those people who Allah makes
beautiful on that day and completes and perfects
their on that day, those people will be
beautiful forever.
If you wanna be beautiful in your Islam,
how how do you achieve that?
The the the the the husun, the beauty
of the Islam of a person is what?
Leave those things that don't concern you.
You were created to be the beloved of
Allah. You were created to love Allah and
to be his beloved.
You were created to be
consumed and subsumed and elided,
like the,
like the kasra before aliflam
is elided into the aliflam,
like the the the the the tanween,
before a ra or before a beam becomes
mudram into the ra and the beam that
comes after. You were created to be consumed
into into what? Into the the ishq and
the love of Allah ta'ala and his Rasool
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
So who cares what someone is squawking in?
You know? Who cares what the the the
the the the orange headed demon is saying?
Who cares what, you know, you know, the
crown of Adyan is saying? Who cares what
master fraud is, you know,
saying or his
his Dajalic,
emissary is saying. Who cares about any of
those things at some point or another? Allah
commands us to say something about them, we
say it. Otherwise, they don't consume our hearts.
When we're done, we're done. Who cares about
any of those things? The beauty, if you
wanna be beautiful in front of the Lord,
leave the things that don't concern you.
And
the corollary to that is that you should
make yourself busy with those things that do.
So Allah Allah
give us tawfiq of making,
amal
on those 2 hadiths. Really,
if you can do that,
then
all these long winded hour long lessons on
YouTube and things like that. There's no real
you know, a lot of the need for
those things go away. At most, if the
lessons are executed properly and executed well, it's
like a bonus round. But you you know,
these there's enough of a bala. There's enough,
provision in in these couple of,
pieces of prophetic wisdom
that we read in Bukhari, by the way.
There's enough of it that it can get
you to your your
Have mercy on him.
The,
Hafil Hadith,
who was actually, by the way, the the
the copy of of Lisbon at one time,
which makes me love Lisbon,
even though I've never really
stopped at the airport once, I guess, but
I never went in the city. But when
I think even Abdul Baru was probably here,
I'm like, this place there must be some
Baraka in that place still from that.
But, even Abdul Baru said,
Whoever seeks knowledge for the sake of Allah,
then a little bit will be enough for
them. These couple of hadiths that we mentioned,
Ibn Abizaid is a connoisseur.
He picks he picks the narrations and puts
them in the place
that they're needed in order for a person
to get, you know, the maximum,
ill only benefit.
Whoever seeks,
knowledge for the sake of Allah, then a
little bit of knowledge will be enough for
them. And whoever seeks knowledge then to be
able to answer people's questions, then people have
a lot of needs. So you'll keep studying
and they'll keep coming up with crazier and
crazier questions as the days go by.
Give us what we need,
from this sacred knowledge and from this and
from this and from this and courage and
from this stamina and from this energy
and from this protection,
what we need in order to get through
this life,
in such a way that we die with
on our lips and inside of our hearts,
and so that he can take us in
a beautiful way and give us some of
them with his oliya forever and ever in
Jannah,
and that we pass from this world loving
him and that, more important than that that
he loves us.
Apologize.
Just before jumping off, I remember there was
a question I said I would
answer,
at the end
I,
Ruben Joseph Batista,
asked super basic Maliki fit question. I know
that the Basmala is Makru in the salah.
But what is the status of Amin for
the Musali?
Is it part of the Fatiha? Is it
Fard or Sunam Aqada? The Aqada is with
the calf, not with theqaaf, by the way.
So saying Amin,
is not part of the fatiha.
However, it's one of the adab of reciting
the Fatiha.
And so if you are
praying alone, you will say the Fatiha and
you will say Amin.
And if you're the imam, you'll say the
fatiha and you will not say amen.
And if you're the follower,
you will,
you will not say the fatiha,
but you will say if you're the follower,
in a loud prayer, I should say, you
will not say the but you will say
Amin. But you will, in no case, say
the Amin out loud. You just
you just move your lips and your tongue.
You don't say it out loud in the
salah.
And if you're praying alone or if you're
praying in a quiet prayer, then you'll you'll
you'll read both.
And Allah knows best.