Hamzah Wald Maqbul – Maliki Fiqh Haram Animals Continued and Filial Piety Addison 04112020
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AI: Transcript ©
So we, continue,
reading the
the
and the last roughly fifth of the book.
And so he
mentions now,
he's gonna talk a little bit about the,
different animals,
the different animals and what the deal is
with, eating them,
and how they're arranged according to the sunnah
of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam in terms
of what's
what's what's good, what's good, what's for dinner.
You know?
And maybe a person by now is
wondering why we talk about food so much.
Is really halal not just a desi thing?
Was every one of the, olamah,
like like, obsessed,
to a irrational degree with,
eating halal. And,
I would say they were all obsessed with
eating halal. I don't think it's irrational.
And, today, when I was on my
on my walk, I guess this
plot came to me,
which was all the bodybuilders I've ever met
in my life.
And I I I apologize for, like, these,
like, masculine,
masculine,
examples.
Although,
the sisters, you know, they work out And
if they don't, they should they should stay
in shape and things like that. It's not
Munafi. It's not against,
Haya to work out and stay in shape
as well. And the brothers, also,
they should stay in shape too.
If you don't, if working, you know, like
lifting weights isn't your thing, go walk, run,
you know, do home exercises. You can even
look up on YouTube, Masha Allah. The YouTube
is,
an amazing
resource for misguidance, but there's a lot of
interesting stuff that that that's useful in it
as well.
There are now,
athletic trainers that have put up, like, really
good ones that that really know what they're
talking about,
that,
like, people who who are doctors and physical
therapists and sports medicine people that I know
that have said that, like, yeah, there's some
good resources out there.
They have, like, these home workouts that a
person can do at home,
in order to strengthen their core, strengthen their
arms, legs, etcetera, etcetera. And in general, you
know, some people need to lose weight, that
there are certain,
strength training, regimens that are there that'll help
you lose weight. There are certain ones that
will help you put on muscle mass. There
are certain ones that'll help you,
you know,
make your body better in in in
in certain ways.
And that's all great. That's all wonderful.
But all of the bodybuilders I've ever,
met,
they all said one thing to me. Like,
you have dudes that have, like, my shoulder,
like, biceps are, like, as big as my
head, like, Ajib, like, amazing like, Muslim people.
You know?
I remember,
meeting them in different countries and things like
that. And then there are people over here
as well.
Some of the most successful,
physical trainers
and personal trainers. They're they're Muslims.
At any rate, one of the things that
that all of them said that when I
asked them, like, how did you how did
you become like that?
They all said it all it's all it's
all in the diet. It's all in what
you eat. It's 80% diet, and then afterward,
it's 20% exercises that you do.
And I was just thinking about that like
walking around today.
That's why
that's why
the the are
talking about all of these things as well.
It's all in your diet. If you're eating,
you know, if you're eating and, you know,
diet, spiritually speaking, is not just food. All
food is part of it, but diet is
everything that you imbibe into
into your heart.
Right? Right? Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said they
were caused to
drink,
their ajal,
the the the the golden calf,
because of the kufr. What they're looking at
the the golden calf and it's it's disgusting
images entering to their heart and polluting it.
What does imbibe mean? Right? Bebir in in
in Spanish means what? Means to drink something.
Right? To imbibe something means to drink something
inside of you.
And so the the nourishment of the heart
comes from all of the all of the
limbs, which is what The eyes, the ears,
all of the senses,
the tongue in what it speaks, it sends
a copy back into the heart,
The stomach, whatever you eat into it, it
has an effect on the heart. The private
parts, whatever you subject them to, has a
very
profound effect on the heart.
It's 80% diet. If you can make the
heart
the diet of the heart clean,
Then after that, even a very small amount
even a very small amount of
exercise,
of working out,
of Mujahada,
of of,
Riaba, of literally the and it's funny that
the of
of
of of Deen,
and in particular, and Tasuluf, who are the
ones who,
make this thing happen. They're like the the
trainers that help you to make this thing
happen, you know, help you guide you along
the way so that you can do these
exercises and make these things happen for yourself.
They literally sit they they talk about like
and. It's like exercise, like working out. You
know? All of these spiritual workouts, you have
people who have, like, They're reading 1 sabara,
2 sabara, 1 just 2 just 3 just
making katham of Quran,
you know, slipping the tasbih through their fingers
until they break, masha'Allah,
they're fasting. They're they're they're, like, really tiring
themselves out.
And,
what's the problem? The problem is this, is
that, like, you know, you can't, one of
the athletic trainers, he was saying you cannot
exercise your way out of a bad diet.
You know, you can be sprinting like Olympic
sprinter.
You can't do any exercise that's going to,
that's going to,
like, free you from the bad effects, the
evil effects of a bad diet. There's no
it just doesn't work like that. Not in
the physical world nor indeed in the spiritual
world as well. So this is one of
the reasons. I mean, it's important. This is
one of the reasons in the Kitab Jamir,
which is, you know,
the Kitab Jamir is like the the, you
know, it's like the defense of the sunnah
of the prophet.
It's the most spiritual out of all of
the all the sections of a a 5th
book. You know, of a Maliki 5th book
is of Kitab al Jamia. Why is it
he's talking about the importance
of protecting your eyes, the importance of protecting
your ears, the importance of of of of
being very scrupulous about what you eat, very
scrupulous about what you drink, intoxicants.
You know, what are the the the things
that we covered so far? Like, all the
different types of in ill gotten wealth.
All of these things, they're like really, really
important and it comes back to something like
Imam,
Mohammed bin Hassan Sheibani, one of my favorite
Hanafis, masha'Allah. Allah
increase his rank. A real wonderful and amazing
guy. And is as if there wasn't enough
to, like, you know, for which to,
love him, He's also a student of Imam
Malik as well. So he's like,
honorary Maliki. There are a couple there are
a number of Masala. I hope Mufti Naif
isn't watching this,
from
Albany. But, if he is, inshallah, he'll have
to admit it's true one way or the
other. But there are a bunch of Masai.
If you read the
in which,
Imam Mohammed after having kept company with Imam
Malik
will actually
revise his opinion and abandon the position of
and come to the position of Malik. Allah,
have mercy on all of them, All of
them are
are aqabir, and we hope that, their love
will, straighten out our our our ooloom in
this world and
and be like a life jacket for us
in the hereafter.
So,
Imam Mohammed, someone once asked him, like, you're
like a big like, you're like this, like,
real spiritual,
person and big alim of deen,
and,
whatnot. And it was intuitive in those days
too, like, what the connection between the Suris
and the ulama was. That they they they
had a symbiotic relationship with one another, and
it's very rare that somebody achieves a rank
in one without having, some sort of accomplishment
in the other.
And so,
someone asked Imam Muhammad
why don't you write a book about zuhud?
Zuhud is a word for tasool about spirituality,
about asceticisms.
Zuhd means asceticism, doing without this world.
But it's, like, understood to be, like, the
way of, of the people traveling toward Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And he said, don't you see? I already
have.
And they're like, what? He said, I wrote
the kitabul buyu. I wrote this book detailing,
like, how a person is supposed to transact.
Why? Because your salute toward Allah
is like your workout. It's like getting in
shape. It's 80% diet, 20% exercise.
The people who focus on the exercise without
getting the diet correct, those people are problematic.
Those people are I mean, they're good human
beings. Inshallah, they'll go to Jannah eventually.
Don't listen to them. Don't lend them an
ear. They're like thieves. They're like thieves. They
will steal your akhirah away from you. They'll
steal your ruhaniyah, your connection with Allah away
from you in this world, and they'll steal
your akhirah from you as well. You may
still go to Jannah, but you won't reach
the rank that you, you could have reached.
Don't listen to those people. Those people don't
use a beha Nazi and, like, there's only
thing in the world of halal and blah
blah. If everybody was concerned with only eating
and drinking halal, wouldn't exist in this
world. All of the lessons you need to
know to understand what the masha'ik are talking
about when they talk about spirituality, you need
to learn them on the heels of earning
an honest living, on the heels of eating
and drinking that which is good and pure,
on the heels of not polluting your eyes
with the haram and your ears with the
haram to the point where, you you you
know, you mess yourself up. And, you know,
if somebody is gonna taste, you know, if
you, like, cook dinner and you're like, hey.
How does this how does this cake taste?
And, you know, you're gonna value their opinion.
Don't ask the guy who's high on LSD.
Ask the person who's, like, sane and sober.
That person will be able to tell you
everybody's all hopped up and tripped up on
this haram to the point where good seems
like a sin
and bad seems,
like virtue. And there's, like,
and
ever expanding and never ending horizon of different
genders,
in the world.
Nothing is correct in a person's,
in a person's mind if you tell them
it's daytime, and they say, where's your dalil?
Where's your proof?
And so this is all this is all
really important. This is all really important. If
you want to be a person of deen,
you gotta get this right first, then tell
people what your opinion is about saying I
mean out loud or saying I mean quietly
or what your opinion is about this conference
or that conference or this politician or that
politician or this,
trend or that trend. Then worry about all
of the stuff afterward. If you don't got
this stuff right, all of the rest of
it, the the crookedness, the rot will pervade
through all of, all of the rest of
your deen. It will pervade through all the
rest of your life.
This is something that, that our masha'ik and
our elders and our ancestors somehow understood,
And, we,
we we seem to have, like, ice skated
by,
and swanned by this piece of understanding,
and now we gotta relearn it again.
Allah
give us all and,
glad tidings to the one who learns it
before they leave this world.
So he says,
it is it is not haram to eat
predatory,
birds.
All of those birds that have talons,
with them. The,
you know, what are the predatory birds like
hawks and,
eagles and
whatnot.
I don't I I wouldn't imagine,
And so there there's a couple of issues
here is that,
he mentions that is that animal that eats,
nuggets. So
I,
I know there's some
in it. I mean, this is anyway in
the Malachy school to eat these predatory birds.
But,
the
there's some some and possibly, possibly,
possibly, impermissibility,
and some of the other, I believe, the
school. And I don't wanna give the fatwa.
You can ask Sheikh Musa or one of
the, that, that like, for example, if some
animal eats,
then,
it should be in quarantine for 40 days
before being slaughtered. I don't know if it's
haram to eat in their school or if
it's,
if it's recommended for it to be quarantined.
But,
you know, he he says that it's not
haram, basically.
That it's not haram to
eat,
eat these, eat these animals. Right? So he
says, like,
even if it eats
like a kite or Bazi,
like the,
falcon,
It's the like, the talon that,
that it disembowels and
kills,
its prey with.
So I wouldn't think that these would be,
like, really super
these would be super
tasty animals or
meaty animals, but they are
they are they are not haram to eat
according to the
according to the of Malek.
And so,
and so,
so they're they're they're they're they're they're not
haram. Like, one bird I can think of
that that that has, like, a
a a a a mihlab that's really nasty,
that probably would be a tasty bird to
eat would be like a cassowary.
It's like a cousin of the, of the
ostrich, but I don't think there's a bunch
of those around. And, I don't I don't
I don't see that they're dis domesticated. I
don't I wouldn't see why
someone would wanna domesticate an animal that could
disembowel you like a velociraptor.
But, at any rate, the the hookahum of
these, of these birds, predatory birds that have
talons, is that they're they're not haram according
to the Madhub of Malek.
So he says that,
from the, then he continues to change his
topic. He says, from
the
from those things that are
obligatory in the deen
is being pious to your 2 parents.
There's
a.
This is from the first commandments of deen.
This is from the most important commandments of
Deen after Allah and his Rasool
The ones that,
that,
you owe your respect and your honor to
most,
like the song,
your respect and your honor to most after
Allah and
his is your parents.
And,
you know, there is a difference of opinion
amongst the ulema as to whether your father
commands more respect or your mother.
The
the mukhtada of the hadith, the vahir of
the hadith would indicate that it's the mother,
but the ulama do have some some discussion
back and forth. Obviously, a person should show
softness more to his mother, and she may
need his, or her tenderness more than the
father does. But in terms of honor and
esteem,
there's a difference of opinion, with regards to
which of them receives,
a takadem, which of them receives priority, especially
if there's a,
an order that,
that is mutually irreconcilable,
that one tells you to do one thing
and the other one tells you to do
another.
So a couple of agenda before moving on
with this topic. One is this is that
there is one exception. There is one person
other than Allah other than the Rasool
someone from the creation and obviously above the
creation is Allah
that receives more respect, from a person than
their own parents is.
The husband of a wife. The husband of
a wife.
And, this is something that, I think will
probably offend,
modern sensibilities, but, it's something we've discussed in
other places as well that the,
you know, social relations,
in Islam, many of them are hierarchical.
And so the, there's a hierarchy between parents
and children that the parents deserve obedience. They
command obedience over the children.
And just like that a,
a husband commands obedience,
from his
wife. Again, this is like,
oh my god. They're probably, you know, like,
if it's a good thing that nobody listens
to my dares. Because if they did, there'd
probably be people starting to sharpen their knives
right now. We're gonna get them. We're gonna
set them on fire, etcetera. He is enabling
abuse.
And, you know,
part of that is just the sensibility of
the age that we live in, which may
not be
a 100% lining up with, like, an objective
view of the world.
Why? Because if you say that a a
wife should respect her husband and you're gonna
say that this enables abuse,
then
why is it that, you know, how can
you say that saying that a child should
respect their parents is not enabling abuse?
Why is it that saying that, like, for
example, citizens shouldn't respect the government is enabling
abuse? Why isn't it saying that people should
respect the police is enabling abuse? And people
will say, well, you know, sometimes it does.
And we say that when it comes to
abuse, when it comes to that level, then
that's where the limit of respect is. Respect
here doesn't mean that you worship your parents.
It doesn't worship mean that a woman worships
her husband. It doesn't mean that sure as
* doesn't mean that somebody worships the government
or worships the police.
But there's a type of a modicum of
respect that all other things being equal, If
one of the parties requests something, they have
a right to be, heard,
and they have a right to be obeyed.
And that right,
even when it functions within a certain logical
and rational set of parameters,
yes, there is room for abuse in it.
But the theory is what is that the
purpose of hierarchical
relationships
in the deen
is because that's how you're gonna get the
maximum benefit,
out of them. Because in general, parents, there
is a worldly benefit in listening to them,
and there is an otherworldly benefit in listening
to them.
And,
you know, the the, you know, the husband
and wife, there has to be an emir
in the house. There has to be some
hierarchy because if you say that both of
them are equal to each other, then necessarily
a day will come when they disagree on
something. And on that day, one of them
is going to have to yield to the
other. So hierarchy will enter into the, into
the into the equation somehow or another.
And then it's just a issue of, like,
why is it should be the man or
why should it be the the woman. And
as part of the hierarchical,
position of the man that he can also
decide, I'm going to yield to my wife
today. I'm gonna yield to my wife on
this issue or on that issue. But the
point is is this is that if you
don't have a a set way of resolving
disputes, if both parties are equal, the day
that they're going to disagree with one another,
what's gonna happen? They're gonna go their separate
ways, which is why, which is why so
many,
marriages, they end in divorce nowadays because of
this kind of, like,
radical egalitarian
sensibility when it comes to the family that
modernism,
kind of imposes on previously existing successful family
cultures.
And so,
you know, the issue is this is that,
you know, someone might say, well, divorce is
not a sin. Yes. I guess divorce technically
isn't a sin. However, it's not a good
thing, and it's not only not a good
thing just because of Victorian sensibilities.
It's not only a good thing because like,
you know, Muslims in the Indian subcontinent,
converted from Hinduism, and there's no divorce in
Hinduism. And Muslims in America, you know, convert
from Christianity, and there's no divorce classically in
Christianity.
And like in Hinduism,
you know, like,
a woman is expected to throw herself on
the funeral pyre of her husband when he
dies.
So they have this kind of radical monogamy,
at least for the the the ladies,
that they that they enforce. And Islam doesn't
do that. I mean, if 2, if husband
and wife don't get along, they get divorced,
they go each goes their separate ways. Allah
says, you know, Allah Ta'ala will give
each one of the ilmam and saatihi.
Allah Ta'ala will enrich them and free them
from need from the other,
from his generosity if they decide to to
to go their separate ways.
The problem with divorce is what? The problem
with divorce is when children are there. And
first of all, if people are, like, really
lackadaisical about their their,
sexual relations. After a while, they kind of
cheapen that that that experience for themself and
whatever. But bigger than that, like, I think
what's more,
problematic than that is this, is that the
raising of children gets killed in the middle.
And look at the statistics. This is my
good friend who is an instructor in the
Zetunah
College,
Sheikh doctor, PhD doctor, Omar Sharif. So don't
call him if if if not Omar Sharif,
Omar Qureshi.
Don't call him if you, you know, if
you need an antibiotic. He has a PhD
in the philosophy of education.
But, he mentions this. He says study after
study shows the same thing that the children
who come from the houses of divorce,
they have so much,
a greater incidence of not being able to
cope with stress, so much greater incidence of
clinical depression, so much greater,
propensity toward
drug addiction, alcohol addiction, risky behaviors,
so much more propensity than,
ultimately, to not be able to complete education
to a degree that allows them to have
gainful employment.
And for that matter, if that's the case,
then it will be obviously the same for,
for religious education.
And so much more, propensity,
very sadly and very tragically,
toward atheism.
That that they're they're statistically proven that that
the children who come from the homes of
divorce,
they will they have like a a a
lot more,
trouble believing in what?
Believing in God.
And why is that? All of these things
they tie together, you know. All of these
things tie together. Why is that we have
a culture as Muslims of revering your parents?
Your parents are the first,
symbols of authority in your life that you
see as a child.
The first symbol of authority is what is
your parents. When you learn about Allah
subconsciously, this is my own Hamzian theory, Hamzian
psychoanalysis,
so you can take it with a grain
of salt. This is like we've now taken,
like, somewhat of a field trip out of
Malachy fix, so you can take it or
leave it. You can leave your comments about,
well, you know, how how baseless you think
it is. But, you know, your parents are
your first,
your first,
model of what authority means.
And so when you try to understand who
Allah is,
later on,
unconsciously
you will I'll I'll look. Consciously, you shouldn't
do this as Kufr, but unconsciously is is
inescapable
that what?
That you're going to make plias inside of
your heart and inside of your psyche,
which is just a Greek word for your
nafs. Right? Inside of your soul. You'll make
pliats between your, you know, between your parents
that you Allah is like the parent for,
like, the entire universe.
The parent for, like, matter and for energy
and for time and for space and for,
like, every human being whoever
existed and for the trees and for the
rocks and for the sand and for the
sky and for the oceans and for the
birds and for the whales and for the
fishes in the deep blue sea, etcetera, etcetera.
That Allah
is like is like the and indeed, this
is this is how Allah
is,
described even in the and in the in
the in in the books of revelation that
everyone is.
Right? The the father of the house of
the rubble, Manzil. Allah ta'ala not rubble Manzil.
He's not the rub of the house. He's
the rub of the entire, like, creation. You
know, Allah
the entire creation is the dependence of Allah.
Not like, you know, like my children are
dependent, so I can put them on the
tax returns, so I get a little bit,
better,
tax check back.
Allah has no one to you know, no
one can tax him, so he doesn't need
to, you know, he doesn't need to do
that. But, like, in that sense, the entire
creation, they're all dependence on Allah Subhanahu wa
ta'ala. Even shaitan needs a method from Allah
exists. Otherwise, if Allah were not
to give him,
that sweet,
Kun,
from Kun Fayya Kun, he cannot he cannot
he cannot exist. He cannot, he has no
ability to exist on his own.
And so
the person who doesn't the person who doesn't,
revere their parents
and does not accept the authority of their
parents over them even when it's difficult, even
when it doesn't make sense to that person,
that person will necessarily have a problematic relationship
with Allah
And it's really interesting. So he and we'll
we'll continue with this, discussion. Right? In the
if you'd been in, you know, between the
words of the text. He says that he
says that
from the obligations of deen is being pious
and dutiful to your parents.
Even if your 2 parents are what?
They're profligates. They sin openly. If your parents
are drunkards, if your father shaves his beard
and your mother goes around with her head
uncovered and, like, you know, they eat haram,
they drink haram, and they skip their prayers,
and they do all of these things,
shamelessly.
Well, in Ghana, Musharikain,
even forget about that Even if they're not
Muslims, even if they're idol worshipers, you still
it's still from
the that you have to
that you have to, that you have to
be dutiful toward them.
And so let every word that a person
says to their parents be soft. This is
really hard,
but it's you have to do it. Can't
yell at your parents. Can't get upset with
them. If they're wrong,
you know, you can only remind them softly
if after that, they're not gonna listen. The
only way to get them to listen is
to escalate and raise their voice. Don't do
it. It's not your it's not your responsibility.
And this is another issue that goes hand
in hand with these hierarchical relationships. The point
of Allah
telling you to revere your parents
is that generally it's for your own good,
for a number of reasons. Part of which
we kinda put that stream on pause with
the you know, in my opinion, one of
the greatest reasons of which is what is
that if you cannot understand the authority of
your parents and come to peace with it,
then how are you going to love Allah
in those instances when Allah does stuff that
doesn't make sense to you?
However,
that your parents aren't Allah. I mean, they're
not. A metaphor that that maybe the the
psyche constructs, but they're not Allah to Allah.
But you're still you're still required to be
kind to them. And you're not Alada didn't
say that it's your job to get them
to pray. He didn't say it's your job
to guide them. It's not he didn't say
it's your job to set them straight. That's
not your job.
So you can escalate to the point where
it comes to politely telling them something.
Softly telling them something.
And live with them. You know, keep your
social relations
with them,
in a good way, in a way that
that people would recognize as good.
You're not responsible for any of those things.
People are like, she is my mother. She
denies, you know, blah blah blah, and she
follows, like, whatever crooked shave. And she, you
know,
you know,
insists on eating something haram, and she insists
on skipping the sloth and blah blah blah
and she just won't and what, you know,
what proofs and blah blah blah and the
other thing the other thing. I said, you're
you already tried to explain it to her
kindly. Arguing with her is not gonna get
anywhere. She doesn't want to she didn't she
doesn't wanna look at the thing that came
from her womb and be like, oh, look.
I'm gonna receive guidance from this thing. She
doesn't give a damn.
Your father
your father doesn't give a damn what your
opinion about Dean is. You understand what I'm
saying? This is the this is the case
with the great
Abu Hanifa's mother who used to ask him
to go and, like, ask the village, not
the village, the neighborhood in Mowgli Saba
about her fiqh questions.
And that's Imam Abu Hanifa.
So what do you think your mom and
my mom are going to do?
If your mother, if your father are like
such pious people, masha'Allah, that that that they've,
like, humbled their nafs to that degree. Good
for you.
You make ask them to make dua for
me as well. They're very abnormal people. For
the rest of us, they're not they don't
care. They're not gonna ask you your opinion
about those things, and that's normal. You don't
need to freak out about it. It's not
your job to, you know, it's not it's
your job to what? Speak a soft word
with them. It's your job to what?
To deal with them and treat them nicely
and treat them kindly. It's not your job
to,
that, you know, to make sure that they
receive the path of guidance and that they,
pay all their sunnaz on time and that
or that they even, like, you know, follow
the deen
beyond whatever you can get them to follow
by being kind to them and banks be
being sweet to them, by being good to
them, by speaking nicely to them. The rest
of it Allah Ta'ala is not going to
ask you about it. But if you're a
jerk in the process, if you yell at
them, if you tell them off, if you,
break their heart, if you make your mother
cry,
necessarily necessarily, you will, you will pay for
this.
And, sometimes,
you know, you'll make your mother cry. Why?
Because she really didn't want you to pray
your 5 daily prayers and you prayed them
anyway when she cried.
This is a problem. It's a problem that's
that's limited to this dunya. It will pass.
In the akhira, you won't be responsible for
it.
However, in this dunya still breaking your mother's
heart will be will will cause you some
difficulty in this dunya.
And that difficulty will be recompensed with more
good on the other side. But this knowledge,
you should know this knowledge what? As an
incentive for you to circumnavigate,
to do things, to go around problems with
your parents. Don't go head on into them.
If you know your mother is gonna cry
if you pray, like, hide and pray. Don't
don't tell her you're gonna be that you're
praying. You know? If you know her going
to Darce or, like, whatever is gonna cause
her, like, grief and takleef and all of
this other stuff, You know, hide it from
her. Hide it from your father. Don't don't
tell them.
And,
you know, why? Because your parents aren't god.
They're or and they're not a nebbie that
you have to tell everything to. There's nobody
that you should have this such a open
relationship with that you tell them everything and
give them complete honesty all the time from
the creation. Nobody.
Nobody. There are certain secrets you should keep
to yourself. That level of honesty is a
type of stupidity, and that level of honesty
is what? Is,
really, it's a very selfish act on certain
people's,
part. You know? Nobody. Not your spouse. Nothing.
If your wife asks you, like, how do
I look today? And you're like, well, honey,
you look really old and you look tired
and you're overweight and, like, you know, it
seems like it seems like that last child
really killed me. Stuff for a lot. You're
gonna actually say that to your wife?
Are you actually even if it's true, you're
gonna say that to your wife, you're gonna
say something like that to your mother? You
know, your father, you know, you
no. You're not obliged. You're not you're not
a prophet that you have to go around
and tell everybody, like, you know, everything all
the time. You can first shut first of
all, it's a very difficult,
lesson to learn in the age of everybody
posting everything, and I probably still need to
learn it myself.
But it's okay to shut up sometimes. It's
okay just to, like, not say anything.
And then when somebody asks you something, it's
okay to, like, give a very vague and
general fluffy
response. Okay? If someone went to Madrasa, they'll
know that you're doing that to them. Why?
Because we're very trained at, like, textual analysis.
If you're talking to a lawyer, they'll know
that you're doing that.
Most people in general, specifically like your mother
or whatever type of people, if you give
them a fluffy response, all they want is
they just wanna make small talk and they
wanna feel like you're engaging with them. They
wanna feel like you're paying them attention and
that's it. They don't really actually care what
the answer is. Right? Whereas you're focused on
the answer. You're gonna tell her something. You're
gonna say something that makes your mother upset.
You're gonna say something that's gonna make your
mother cry. And screw up your dunya and
screw up your if it's something that that's
not like a a a a a her
commanding you to haram.
This is exactly what ibn Abizaid says. He
says that the parameters, the natural parameters for
this hierarchical relationship is what? Is that you
have to speak kindly to them and softly
to them, and you have to be good
to them. And if they tell you they
they make you do something that's haram, then
you're not allowed to obey.
And so much so that the Allah say
that your parents didn't get the iftar. They
get the, option of difference of opinion even
if they're not even Muslims and they could
give less of a care about Madeline, this
and that. You know? But, they get the
the benefit of difference of opinion. If your
mother tells you to do something, if your
father tells you to do something, if you
need to do something in order to make
them happy, this is a valid reason to
take a a ruxa from the Muftabihi opinion
of another madhab.
And I say Muftabihi meaning what? That if
you can go to, if you can go
to another madhab, and it's not like some
screwball obscure opinion.
But, you know, like, you know, your your
mother told you to, like,
you know, go outside like buck naked and
like some whofti from Birmingham who claims to
be like a Baliki but really isn't. Says,
yeah, you know, this is this is this
is an okay opinion.
Right? No. But we're talking about like an
actual Mufti of a different matter. Have you're
following the Maliki school and this is like
Hanafi opinion, or you're following the the Shafi'i
school, and this is a, you know, whatever.
Like, something like that. The Muftahi opinion, the
actual, like, actual opinion of of of another
school, it's worth taking a ruxa,
in order to make your in order to
make your parents happy.
But if there's something that is haram by
the consensus of the
of the of the of the sunnah and
jama'ah,
at that point,
then in the kindest way possible, in the
kindest way possible, you cannot obey them, which
means that you gotta do what you gotta
do, but you still can't cuss at them,
you still can't yell at them, Still can't
raise your voice at them. You still can't
tell them what you think about them. You
still can't, be a jerk to them. You
can't slam doors. You can't, you know, you
can't, imagine,
the Quran literally says you can't say to
him to them. Right? Is not even a
word. Right? It's just what? It's just like
exasperation
and, like, blowing someone off. So then,
you know, unless you don't believe in unless
you don't believe in,
in in in a rational analogy,
saying
I'm not saying oof to them, being saying
oof to them being haram is probably a
proof that cussing at them is haram as
well, calling them names haram is haram as
well, and definitely beating them or, like, whatever
is haram as well.
And so
this is where,
you know, the the the the the fiqh
should meet a little bit of art, a
little bit of common sense, a little bit
of style. How is it that you're supposed
to live?
And that is if you know that doing
something that is
necessary for you and the deen and that
the omission of which is haram, or not
doing something that is haram, the the noncommission
of which is part of deen.
If you know that that's gonna be an
issue,
then find a way to circumnavigate
the problem.
You know? Don't
share all your information. Don't put put out
all your cards there if you know someone
that, you know, your parents are gonna give
you a hard time. Some of them are
I mean, some people literally this is a
psychological condition that they have. They need attention,
and they would rather fight with you
than,
than than than than them not being the
center of attention,
and, them not being, you know, the center
of attention
while being civil and calm.
And, you know, do you think people, you
know, do you think narcissists don't have children?
Do you think people with, like, other, like,
megalomaniacs
don't have children? Do you think like people
with these conditions all of them have kids,
you know? If you happen to be one
of their kids, you're gonna have to smarten
up. You're gonna have to wise up how
how you can circumnavigate
these things. In this sense, this is something
I'll mention again as well because I think
it's relevant to the topic. But I think
sometimes, like, kids that are bad kids are
actually more pious than quote unquote good kids
are. So you have 2 brothers, Zaid and
Amer. Right? Zaid is very pious and he,
like, goes to, all the and
he,
and his beard is good and, like, you
know, he's memorizing Quran and, you know, he's,
like, saying no to drugs and, you know,
he's not messing with the with the girls
or the boys or whatever people mess with
nowadays.
And he's, you know, flying straight. And,
you know, and his mother's annoyed with him.
He's like, you should spend more time at
school, and you should join the basketball team,
you know, instead of wasting your time with
all this religion stuff, you know. Okay. We're
Muslims but, like, this is too much. This
5 times prayer, all this extremism.
Oh, okay. And then there's Amr who's who's
his brother, who's what? The guy's a stoner.
The guy goes and like gets high every
day.
Gets, you know, he likes to he likes
to likes to likes to inhale the the
the the Punjabi botanical
product.
And obviously, the mother wants the kids to,
like, become doctors and make a bunch of
money. So she's not happy that the stoner
will,
go and get stoned either.
So when it's like, hey, Zadeh, where are
you going today? I'm going to Darce. I'm
gonna go to Maliki Fik Darce.
I told you stop wasting your time with
that.
The person has, like, in their own mind's
image, their own heart's image. They're like, you
know, like like like dying the Alamo,
shahid for the sake of Allah. All they're
doing, they're bothering their mother, and they're sapping
and destroying the barakat in their nurse. They're
destroying the Barakah in their life. They're destroying
the Barakah in their risk.
Your parents being upset with you people love
money. So if your parents being remember this
your parents being upset with you will taint
your risk. It will be a cause for
poverty.
It will be a cause for that risk
that was like part of your original allotment
being
diverted to other directions
in order to make up for, for for
your parents being upset with you.
And, like, Amer, the stoner,
where are you going?
He's not gonna tell his mother I'm gonna
go get high because that would break her
heart. That would make her cry.
That's a type of piety as well.
Not to say that it's okay to lie.
Right? But there's a way, where are you
gonna go? Where are you gonna go? Where
are you going right now? I'm going to
the park. He'll pass through the park on
the way to get stoned. Maybe he'll get
stoned in the park as well.
Getting stoned is haram. It's a sin.
However,
the point here is that
he didn't put on top of the sin
of getting stoned the the the the sin
of breaking his mother's heart.
Whereas Zayd, he's going to do something good,
and he sabotaged the good that he's doing
by what? By breaking his mother's heart.
So don't argue with your parents.
Have a have, like, a non,
a non aggression pact.
One way non aggression unilateral non aggression pact
with your parents.
Submit. Just say I give up, you know.
And do those things that allow you to
circumnavigate
around,
busting it up with them,
and just make them happy. You know, do
those things that make them happy. Buy, you
know, don't be a jerk. Buy your don't
say something or do something in front of
your mother that's gonna upset her. In front
of your father that's gonna upset him. You
know, do and say those things. Be fake
around them just to make them happy. You
know, you don't lie. Lying is still haram,
but there's ways of like, you know, just
making
you know, and that you just you're just,
like,
being that person they want you to be
for the 15 minutes that you interact with
them in the day. And then moving on,
you know, if that means if that means
that you get it, oh, I got a
job in another city. I have to move
away or whatever. And they're not gonna, like,
you know, like, it's not like they're gonna,
like, rot and they can take care of
themselves and whatever and, you know, they don't
need you, like like, in that sense. Go
go move move to another city to avoid
getting into problems with them.
You know? If it you're gonna stay home,
they need your help or whatever, and the
only way you can help them is with,
you know, you're going to the house cussing
at them like a million, you know, and
with sorry, not you cussing at them. Them
cussing at you like a million like bad
things and horrible things and hurtful things. Right?
Don't listen, especially your mother, don't listen to
don't listen to what she's saying.
Don't listen to what she's saying.
Right? Oftentimes, people who are skilled at, like,
getting attention, those are issues that happened
with them that caused them to be that
way from before you were born. You're not
gonna be able to fix them. Right?
Don't listen to your father when your father
is, like, laying into you. Right? Right? Don't
listen to what they're saying.
If you listen to what they're saying, it's
going to be a poison. It's gonna draw
you in.
Don't and this is not just like with
parents. Okay? Spouses,
with siblings, all sorts of different people. Don't
listen to what they're saying when they go
in these emotional tirades,
and try to be, like, as hurtful as
possible. And some people do that. That's like
they feel like they're gonna get shifa by,
like, hurting you. You know? They feel like
they're gonna get some sort of shifa from
whatever
that feeling they have in their heart,
by by by by letting the poison of
their nafs out at you. And some of
us are like that too. We do this
to other people as well. But the fact
is, like, after having done it for, like,
a 100 times, you realize, like, this is
not doesn't make me feel better. It actually
makes me feel worse. It's like a thirsty
person drinking salt water. Right? But not everybody
is gonna learn that lesson. Right?
So if they're coming at you like that,
don't listen to what they're saying. The words
are all bogeys. They're a distraction.
Dispense with the words, look at what's inside
the heart.
You know? If,
you know, if this is a manifestation of
someone's dysfunctional relationship with their father, if it's
a manifestation of someone's neglect that they received
from their own parents or from their other
siblings or from, you know, some other thing,
if it's manifestation of illness or it's a
manifestation of what, just look at that and
just feel sorry for that person. This is
a human being that's hurting right now. I
feel bad for them.
You know, just leave it at that.
And do your service that you need to
from them and and and move on. You
know? Move on.
Get out. This is, the way you're gonna
navigate it. I'm I promise you, Allah
sends certain people to make your islah, to
make your
rectification,
to fix what's broken inside of your heart
in order to make it worthy of being,
of being accepted by Allah. And the hardest
is the is that happens for that
happens for arrogance. If you think you're someone,
if you think you're smart, you think you're
rich, you're successful, you're important, whatever,
the hardest slot to take is the one
that that that that that breaks the takkabur
inside of a person, that breaks the,
the arrogance inside of a person. And generally
speaking, that type of islaq cannot have happen
at the hands of a rational person. It
cannot happen at the hands of a rational
person. So you'll have to deal with these
irrational types of things,
in order to learn this lesson of being
humble.
Because, you know, like when you're whatever. When
your parent cusses you
out, and you know you know in the
that that
the the haq is on their side and
tell you before that you're not gonna get
any help from any quarter.
And you just have to shut up and
take it.
And you you know, all you can do
is try to mitigate the amount of damage
it does to you.
But, you know, there's going to even people
who have relatively good parents and, you know,
someone might say, well, my parents aren't, like,
so horrific. My parents aren't so horrific either.
But, dealing with the public, you know, some
people, unfortunately, they cannot say that they're
not, with a straight face or without lying.
But,
the point is is this is that, like,
the amount of humility you have to be
able to have in order to take this
and just, like, keep going,
it is it is something Allah is making
your he's rectifying your heart so that you
don't have to suffer humiliation on the day
of judgment.
And it's way better to take it and
it's way easier to take it on this
side than it is to take it on
that side.
And so, you know, this is this is
important. This is where the rubber meets the
road.
Some of the one, you know, the thing
that we're talking about from before
with regards to,
authority is what is that if a person
can't make peace with the authority of their
parents,
their their their their mother and their father,
you know, that gave them life.
That person oftentimes won't be able to make
peace with Allah
because Allah will do things that you may
not like.
And, you know, the lord is the lord
and the slave is the slave. The lowest
that
you should at least be patient with those
things that Allah did that that that don't
make you super happy.
Then there are other, you know, like, there
are some people who, like, you know, they
they become,
the, you know, they become drunk and ecstatic
on the divine remembrance.
And there's a way of getting there as
well, and it's not like it's not the
reason that we, you know, be the reason
that we take out the spiritual path,
but sometimes it does help a person get
through some difficulties,
where a person will then rejoice
at things that a normal person wouldn't rejoice
at because of their their ishq and their
love of Allah ta'ala.
But the lowest,
form of iman, if you can't do that,
there's nothing left less than that is to
at least be patient with those decisions Allah
makes that that don't immediately make you happy.
And a person has to do that. And
this this is reminds me of one story
I wanted to share with you,
that I went and visited Allah Mahalad Mahmoud,
Allah give him long life.
He is he's he must be very close
to a 100,
and he lives half his year in Lahore
and half his year in Birmingham in in,
in the UK. And he has a very
he has a very,
interesting Darvesh Khanna.
His his, Hanqa is next to the Jamir
Masjid in Birmingham.
And,
it literally is like a like a very,
very humble place worthy
where the where the meet.
It's a very humble place. Humble not just
like as in, like, you know, I'm wearing,
like, really nice clothes and, like, saying to
everybody. That's there too, I guess. But in
the sense that it's a, like, it's a
a very rudimentary half built building probably
would be condemned if it got, inspected too
closely.
And, you know,
and
gather in that place to make vicker and
to hear,
the sheikh's
talks
and, where the sheikh does his work and
where the students of knowledge that help him
because he writes every day. They help him
edit and prepare his his,
his works. And it's really interesting that that
his majlis is, like
has a good mix of people who are
very intellectual and very ill me,
in the Islamic sense and very intellectual in
the, like, university sense, and then very spiritual.
And then just like regular Joe people who
are like, this is their village Milana or
their, you know, local Milana South that, like,
you know, they just go to hear his
Dutch Dutch stuffs here or or or whatever.
And, there's something there for everybody. It's a
interesting experience. At any rate,
Alana Khalid is is one of,
our beloved,
Moan Sheikh Amin Khawaria,
Sahib Darul Qasim,
one of his teachers.
And, you can see, you know, you can
see some of the face,
of the student in the sheikh,
and vice versa when you visit him. Allahma
Khalid told us a story.
He said that when he was like and
this must be like the forties or something
like pre partition.
When
Mohammad Jalandari
he had a dora tafsir in the summer,
in in Jalandar, which is now in East
Punjab, which is unfortunately, except for the the,
you know, one district of Malayakortla,
has been completely desolated of its Muslim population.
So Muhammad Jalandri had his originally his Hanqah
and Madras and all that stuff was in
Jalandir. Now it's moved to Multan.
The famous Madrasa of Multan Khayrul Madras is
named after after him.
Muhammad
Jalandhar
that he was teaching
and he was talking about this topic of
Bilaluddin.
He was talking talking about this topic of
Bilaluddin,
of of, of piety toward one's,
one's parents.
And he said that there was a a,
a student.
His name was Ishmael.
And so Ismail,
he started to argue with the sheikh, and
he says, why should I show why should
I show,
why should I show,
respect to my parents?
They did something for their own enjoyment, and
I was born. What do I owe to
them?
And,
you know, the sheikh tried to explain to
him and he's like, no. And he kept
insisting on this point. They did something to
enjoy themselves and, like, I was the product.
Like, what why do what do I owe
them for that?
And so he said that, he said that,
sheikh, he said that,
this Ishmael will not die until he's a
kafir. Any man who can speak
about his own mother like that,
there's, you know, he won't he won't die
except for after having left Islam.
And, you know,
you know, fear the fear the
the fear also, the can of the believer
because when he sees, he sees with the
light of Allah to Allah. You know? And
so someone might say, well, like, how can
you say that you don't know the babe
blah blah blah. Okay. He didn't know the
babe. He just made a he just made
a prediction and see what happens with the
prediction. Right? You don't have to, you know,
when someone makes these things, you can take
it or leave it, you know. But funny
sometimes what happens when people, you know, when
people live long enough, they see strange things.
And so the partition occurs and India and
Pakistan separate, and this Ismail comes to Pakistan,
and, Sunnism isn't fun for him anymore. So
he will abandon Sunnism and become Ifnash al
Shia,
and, he'll gather a large following.
And,
what happens is that he will become a.
He will become a type of then later
on that is
that is
excessive even for normal, if not Shashi Shia
standards.
And,
you know,
the sheikh says that he became a kafir.
Right? He says, yes. He became a kafir.
This is not what the sheikh was talking
about.
He said, what was he talking about? He
said that, he said that,
he said once
I met one of the ulama of the
Ifnashay Shias because Allah Mahal had actually had,
relations with them. He would, like, talk to
them. He would read their books. I mean,
if you read his writings in Urdu, he
reads, like, the books of everybody.
And,
he actually went to Iran and purchased a
bunch of, books from from there,
and things like that.
A very well read, erudite scholar.
And so he said that once I met,
one of the Shia scholars
who,
said to me, oh, you know, Moiv Ismail?
He says, yes. He said he died, but
he died at Kafir.
He says, what? He says he died at
Kaffir. He says, what happened? He said that
he,
he, he got into some sort of vehicle
crash, and he died.
But,
he said that before he passed away, he
gathered his his his, his click, his crew,
And he said he said that, he said
that before I used to be one of
the people who believed in the 12 imams.
But now, I I have to, like,
I have to say to
you that,
I receive myself directly
the,
you know, whatever
the from Allah,
and I myself am Masloom, and I myself
am this, that, and the other thing.
And, so he,
he said that to his to his, disciples
and followers and associates that whoever is with
me in this state stay and then whoever
doesn't agree with me, they should just leave
right now,
which is Kufr, obviously,
for him to claim infallibility and all this
other nonsense
and claim that he receives,
he receives orders, directly from the the the
higher realm.
And so,
but the strange thing is that he he
died at Kaffir, not in a way that,
like, you know, sectarian Sunni would say that,
oh, look, he became a Shia. No. In
a way that even his own,
his own,
sectarian heresy that he adopted, even those people
all would point a finger at him that
this person died in Kufr. And what was
the philosophy of Mu'akir Mohammed Jalandri from before?
Was that any man who could speak about
his own mother in such vulgar terms,
and and his own mother and father, in
such vulgar terms and with such disrespect,
how is that person ever going to, have
any respect for Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala?
So we have to we, you know, we
have to be careful about it. It's not
something that we have to
we have to,
you know, we don't worship them, but we
have to make riya'ah and just be careful
about what place our parents hold in our
hearts.
Because,
once
that's gone, there's very little barrier between us
and, not,
revering
the the maqam that Allah
is supposed to have in our hearts. Allah
knows best.
And,
you know, despite all of this honor he
gives to them, if they tell him to
do something haram, he's not allowed to he's
not allowed to obey them. And it's just
as a a law transcendent is he above
blemish and most high has said, that the
believer,
it is his responsibility
to seek forgiveness for his,
for his parents.
It's it's his responsibility to seek forgiveness for
his parents.
And, you know, while you're alive while they're
alive,
that's for everybody. You can if someone's parents
are not on iman, one must constantly,
be asking Allah for their guidance, and one
must constantly ask Allah for their well-being and
their welfare, and that Allah keep them in
a good state.
If they're an iman, then when one's person,
one's parents die, even if they did great
bad to them, great harm to them.
Even then a person should keep asking Allah
for to forgive them, and a person should
strive their best to themselves, forgive them. And
a person should give sadaqa in their name,
and a person should make du'a for them
whenever they remember.
When they go on Hajjul, and they go
on Umrah and Ramban, and all the times
when the du'as are
accepted. And,
this is a great vehicle for barakah from
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Whether or not those
parents deserve it or not,
you will see that there's a benefit in
one's relation with Allah Ta'ala and increase in
between the slave and between the lord,
by showing, piety and dutifulness to her. What
does piety? What does bir mean? Bir means?
Piety meaning what? In particular, showing dutifulness. This
is a commandment that you're given, so you
are not gonna abandon your post. You are
not gonna abandon your duty even if everybody
else does.
And so,
that's that. If a person's parents die on
Kufr,
that they die
protect us, all and give all of our
parents and all of us and all of
our children and our families and our loved
ones and,
all those who did good by us and
our friends and neighbors, everybody. Allah give them
the tawfiq of saying,
La ilaha
illallah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
before they die, and may Allah accept it
from from all of us.
But if they should it's the decree of
the lord that they should die without imam,
And that they should die outside of the
outside of the legal ruling of Islam. And
Allah knows best what's inside of the hearts.
Then in that case,
at the moment of death, the tie between
the the parent and child is cut.
The child is no longer obliged to go
to the funeral, to go to the wake,
to go to the burial,
to really do anything, with the with that
parent anymore.
The obligation, all of it ends. And so
there's a bunch of fiqh that has to
do with inheritance and with all of these
other things, but this tie of Birulaladin
will will be will will come to its
natural end at that time for the person
whose parent,
dies on kufr
protect all of us.
Obviously there are many people who this will
bring up a number of feelings and fears
and hopes and whatever
with regards to, what will Allah do with
my parent. And you know, it's not your
job to give a fatwa,
or to judge the day of judgment judgment
on a person who's going to jannah and
who's not. Just chill about all of that.
Everyone will go where they deserve to go,
except for the people of Jannah.
Everybody, Allah will show rahma to everybody
in a way that's commensurate,
in a way that's due to that person.
There is a recording if you go to
soundcloud.comforward/
each month, there's a recording,
that I made from Adina Manoa based on
this topic, based on some of the things
that we heard from the over there. Inshallah,
if somebody has, some feelings or anxiety about
this issue, let them listen to that recording,
Inshallah.
I will not,
repeat what was said over there here because
of lack of time and lack of necessity.
So you can you can, I think it's
like one of the 5, like, there's like
you can spotlight or highlight
5,
up to 5,
I guess, recordings? So it's one of those.
It's easy to find. You can go listen
to it, inshallah. And if you have questions
afterward, you're welcome to reach out to me,
or to any other Ullama and my shayef.
Allah,
send his peace and blessings on his Nabi
You Allah, have mercy on our parents. You
Allah, open the hearts of our parents to
every good and close them to every, every
evil. Those of them who are not in
iman, bring them into iman. Those of them
who are in iman, you Allah, keep them
and brahsh say for them, this iman, until
their passing breath, and give them good in
this world and in the hereafter.
You Allah,
give us the tawfiq to serve our parents
in the best way possible.
Give us tawfiq, you Allah, that we should
imbibe only the halal, we should listen to
the halal, see the halal, eat the halal,
drink the halal, earn the halal, touch the
halal, smell the halal,
You allah, that we should speak only the
halal,
and we should,
you allah, only touch,
in any way, shape, or form the halal,
and let it flow into our hearts and
make a clean heart for us so that
our spiritual exercises, even a small amount, will
be sufficient for
us.
You Allah, speed and hasten the day that
our mustards open again and that we can
step in with our right feet and say,
oh, Allah,
open for us the the doors of your
mercy. You Allah, speed for us the days
that the Jumuah and the Jannah'ah should gather
together again, you Allah. You Allah, give us
barakah and Ramadan, whatever it's your decree that
however our Ramadan should be passed, you Allah.
Give us barakah in it and give us
barakah and and Nur and Roohaniya and Fat,
you Allah. And Madad and Taid,
you Allah. And nus nus nus nus nus
nus nus nus nus nus nus nus nus
nus nus nus nus nus nus nus nus
nus nus nus nus nus nus nus nus
nandek, you rabbana in this month of Ramadan
and give us the, the the honor of
passing with La ilaha illallah,
in our hearts and on our tongues.
You Allah, I received so many
so many requests
of brothers and sisters. Every day, more and
more of them are sick with this disease
and are passing with this disease, and their
family members are sick with this disease and
passing from it, as well as all of
the other troubles that people have in the
dunya. You Allah. You Allah. You Allah. Heal
the sick
quickly. You Allah. Those who have worries and
woes, you Allah. Come and soothe their hearts,
you Allah. Whoever has any any difficulty or
any danger
that's imperiling
their deen or their dunya or their akhirah,
you Allah, remove it from them.
And and and you Allah, remove them from
us as well.