Hamzah Wald Maqbul – Hold Stake in Civilization Marriage MSA OSU 02142020
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
So
mind
if I
All praises to Allah, and may his peace
and blessings be upon his servant and messenger,
our master, Sayna Muhammad sallallahu alaihi
Rasulullah, alayhis salatu, as well said in one
hadith
that marriage is my sunnah.
And he said in another hadith that whoever
turns away from my sunnah, he's not one
of us.
And one of
the catastrophes and calamities of this age,
which truly push it in the direction of,
a a Dajjalic character
is the breakdown of family,
in a an extended sense,
and then thereafter,
a type of meaninglessness
that has
come to define the relationship between a husband
and a wife.
Part of it, unfortunately,
has been
a Kool Aid
that was all too readily and quickly imbibed
by the Muslims,
especially those who have a propensity to a
modernist mindset.
And one of the primary messages I want
to give to you,
I'm sure none of you guys watch movies,
you're far too pious for that, but pretend
like I'm like wounded robocop from the future
who went back in time to give you
advice
that's relevant to
you
in terms of what I think I would
have had needed to hear
if I was at your point in life.
For you see, I'm right now,
on the ship
and it's about to sail away from the
dock. My youth is
gone,
and now I'm going to,
be irretrievably
lost into
unclehood.
And I used to be one of you.
So one of the differences between me and,
like, the weird pantheon of, like,
Muslim speaker y type people in America
is that I actually was a MSA member.
I was the one who used to put
out the carpets for jama'a. I I was
the one who used to book the rooms.
I used, you know, I I gave Khutba
because back in those days, nobody wanted to
give Khutba. Now everybody is, like, you know,
taking a weekend workshop and trying to polish
their skills or whatever. Those days, nobody wanted
to people would say things. I know you
guys will find it hard to believe. They
used to say things like, oh, I don't
have enough knowledge to give Khutba. I'm not
qualified.
You know? That was a different time.
And, I was the president of our MSA
for quite some time. We had a lot
of fun and games that we used to
do. We moved our jama'at to a masjid
that was in frat row.
I don't know if there's a frat is
there a frat row in this? Yeah. Right?
We we actually had a we actually bought
a building. Right? We didn't buy it, but
we, like, legally retrieved it from, like, condemnation,
and then we turned it into a masjid,
and,
we did a lot. You know, it was
a very active and vibrant time.
We were agitating. Many MSAs, I noticed, now
have, like, a tension between,
some people wanna be activist y and some
people wanna be spiritual, you know, and so
they kinda like are at loggerheads with each
other. We used to do, like, everything. We
used to protest. We used to get threatened
with getting our MSA banned,
and we we would have, like,
a a llama coming through. It was a
very vibrant time in life. And look at
me now talking like a like a like
a 40 year old balding guy about, like,
his heyday and, like, glory days in, like,
high school football. Right?
I have some
some connection with this,
life that you're
living, but the difference is what is that
then afterward, after taking the MCAT, I got
bored. I said I don't wanna do this
anymore. I wanna go and study Dean, so
I took a different route in life
than many of you may take. Maybe some
of you will take, take that route as
well, but most of you probably won't and
it's probably for the better.
The qadar mushtarak, the common denominator
is what?
Is that you have to
know what you want out of your life
and what's important for you out of your
life, and you have to go after it.
You have to plan for it. If you
don't plan for it, it's not gonna magically
happen.
One of the problems that we have in
deen is that we have, like, magical thinking
when it comes to Islam.
You understand intuitively, if you don't put gas
in your car, your car is gonna run
out of gas and it'll get stuck somewhere
on the highway or on a side street
somewhere that you wanna you don't wanna get
stuck.
But when it comes to the deen, we
don't have this, like, type of common sense.
Whereas the messenger of Allah
and his companions, they had this common sense.
And so one of the things that a
person needs to do and needs to make
priority for is what? It's for their marriage.
Why? Because if there is no good marriage
in the society, there's a number of mafasid.
There are a number of mafasid. What is
a mafasadda?
It's something that spoils things,
Something that makes things rotten. The thing that
was pure and clean, it makes it rotten.
There's a number of mafasid that are
built upon the structure of the foundation of,
of of not having proper marriage in society.
So
you'll probably hear a number of things from
me. You won't hear from other people unless
you go and study
an inordinate amount of time and read a
lot of books.
We turn our attention to
a, 17th century scholar from the Indian subcontinent
by the name of
Shahulullah His relevance to you and I is
that,
about 85% of the living
Asanid of Hadith,
the Hadith are still the Hadith of the
Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam are
still transmitted with an unbroken chain.
The chain of narration didn't stop with Bukhari
and Muslim,
rather we all, you know, all of us
who studied hadith, we have unbroken chains,
of transmission for the for the hadith of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
I read the Sahib Bukhari from my sheikh,
Sayed Mahmood Mia, who read from his father,
the sheikh Sayid Hamid Mia, who read from
his sheikh
Sayid sayin Ahmed Madani
who taught the hadith of the prophet
in the Ottoman times in the Masjid of
the prophet
who read from his sheikh,
Rashid Ahmed Gangohi
who read from his sheikh,
Shah Abdul Ghani Al Mujadidi.
He was deli. He wasn't one of the
who read from his sheikh, Shah Ishaq, who
read from his, uncle Shaha Abdul Aziz, who
read from his father,
and then the goes back then to the
to the different books,
from there.
So
writes in one of his books,
which is a synthetic,
philosophy work of the type that,
isn't written in the modern age anymore.
He makes the observation
that many of our science geeky type people
where's neuro?
There you are. Right? You'll appreciate this. Right?
He mentions that amongst most mammals,
the process for mating is as follows. You
can tell me is this true or not.
The males will get together and they'll all
fight with each other
until one of them emerges dominant
through brute force, through his ability to inflict
pain on his rivals.
And then all the females will be as,
will will will be, for his until he
can be challenged by another male who can
unseat him from his dominance, and then all
the females will go with that male.
This is essentially true. There may be some
exceptions, but it's essentially true. Is it not?
Especially in both.
No. I mean, like, not especially, like, as
far as I can tell in a number
of species, but in mammals, almost almost all
of mammals are like this.
What's the, like, evolutionary benefit of this? She
thinks the evolution is wrong. Calm down for
a second. Okay? We're not talking about right
now.
It's a scientific theory.
We can discuss it without it, like, without,
like, you know, like, you know, saying that
I a 100% buy into, like, everything that
you think
I'm buying into right now. What's the evolutionary
benefit conferred by this system?
Only It's what? Because Strongest genes are passed.
Only the strongest genes are passed along. Why?
Because one male can mate with a a
number of females without
too much difficulty, whereas the other way around,
it doesn't work. So this is why the
the alpha male will mate and the beta
males won't,
and the,
the the females, all of them will mate.
And so
he mentions something. He mentions that
this, system which seems to work for the
wild animals doesn't work for human beings for
a very particular purpose, which is what?
Civilization is a collaborative,
project.
No matter how much you can bench press,
no matter how much you can squat and
power clean,
no matter how fast you can run the
mile,
right,
no matter how long you can hold your
breath, how high you can jump and slam
the ball, if you can break the backboard
when you stick your tongue out when you,
slam dunk. Right?
Michael Jordan to you guys is like Wilt
Chamberlain. Right? Like, you're like, who is that?
It's like he used to be the LeBron
back in my day. Okay? That's how I
explain that
Back when I was your age, when I
was young.
No.
No.
My my beard has turned grey. And when
a person starts to think I'm still young,
this is a sign you become old.
There's 2 things, if someone says I'm young,
they're old, and if someone says I'm not
crazy, they're what? Anyway. Right?
Someone walks in and says, I'm not I'm
not crazy, then what's the first thing that
comes to your mind?
Right. So the idea is this is that
is that is that, is that no matter
how
how freakish of a show that you can
make,
with regards to your, like, evolutionary fitness and
your dominance physically
or even,
you know, through your smarts, you know, certain
animals, certain not every alpha makes it to
the alpha position. If you observe animals, people
should watch, animal documentaries, by the way. BBC
has really awesome animal documentaries. Why?
Because your ilm of Islam
only is functional on the basis of being
a a a of being a complete and
whole human being.
And after watching animal documentaries, I realized there
are a lot of human beings. Forget about
being a human being, just being a proper
animal. If you can muster this type of
common sense that most animals have, then you
can have a shot at being a human
being. If you have a shot at being
a human being, you have a shot at,
like, being a good Muslim. Right?
So, you know, sometimes the animals will reach
the position of dominance through their cunning as
well, through their intelligence, their ability to plan,
etcetera etcetera. However, no amount of intelligence cunning,
no amount
of physical brute force
will allow for civilization to be built.
Civilization requires collaboration,
and this is why
the human being shifted from the model of
all of, all of the other mammalian
species
and embraces the model of what?
That, there should be a a a a
a man and a woman, they should be
married with one another. Why? So that all
of us can get along because we're gonna
need all of our hands
to make this thing work. In fact, the
Sharia limits this is one of the questions
this is not a very, like, nice thing
to say, in terms of modern sensibility. You
can tell I've been in the Madras too
long when I mentioned things like this. Otherwise,
other people have common sense,
not to mention them. But even the Sharia
limits even polygamy, which was unlimited from before,
and it's still unlimited today. Do you think
everybody walking around outside who screams and shouts
that marriage is between, like, 1 man and
1 woman or 1 woman and 1 woman
and 1 man and 1 man and 1
man, and they're swiping left and right, you
know, like,
openly? Right? Polygamy is a fact. Everybody accepts
it. Just people accept it and they have
different ways of, like, expressing that, you know,
based on their different cultural legal traditions. Right?
Islam limits it
to to to to 4. Why? Because imagine
if out of all of us, right, this
guy is making 6 figures, this guy is
making 70,000, this guy is making 30,000, this
is making is making a 100,000,
And and then, bam. And then, like, one
of one of one of you is making,
like,
$3,000,000,000.
Okay?
What's gonna end up happening?
It's gonna cause an imbalance which will make
what happen?
It will make the collaborative process breakdown.
Why? Because all of a sudden, there's a
need that the that the the the other
men don't have a way of having fulfilled
and it's going to drive them from the
the level of thinking that's required in order
to sustain civilization
down to,
down to basically back to the, like, law
of the jungle where people will challenge each
other for that alpha position.
Right? And Islam is there to Islam is
there to mitigate that. Why? Because the civilization
is not gonna happen except for collaboratively.
This is if you look at if you
think about if you think about,
phases in human history, why is it that
the French Revolution was so important?
One of the reasons it was so important
is that what? The the the state of
the commoners
is like a majority of the the people
in society and they're completely useless. All of
a sudden, after the French revolution ousts the
clergy and ousts the,
the
the the land owning noble class
and
at least militarily makes, every commoner and peasant,
have the right to bear arms because that's
what the what made the nobility the nobility
before. It's not that they were nice people
and they used to speak elegantly or whatever.
It's that they had the right to bear
arms whereas the commoners didn't have the right
to bear arms. Right? The the the the
word for gentleman in Spanish is what?
Anyone?
No?
I'm disappointed.
No. Man.
Which means what? Literally means horseman.
It's a knight.
Right?
The noble class, the thing that distinguished them
from the commoners is, that they had the
right to bear arms,
whereas the commoners didn't. All of a sudden,
the French revolution happens.
Now everybody can become a soldier. Now France
punches above its weight class militarily, and it
ends up taking over the whole like, much
of Europe,
and it makes the classical blunder of starting
a land war in Russia in winter, which
don't ever do that if you ever are
in that position. Right? They even any Egyptians
here?
You wonder do you ever know why the
the sphinx the nose is blowing off the
sphinx?
ISIS blew it up. Right?
No. Napoleon did.
Right? So,
the the the idea is why why why
did they all of a sudden become this,
like like, you know, this power that was
able to, like, mess with the whole west
of the Europe whereas before the revolution they
weren't. It's because now they have a system
by which they can mobilize their entire population,
a higher percentage of their population.
Whereas all the other countries in Europe that
are sitting in the under the feudal system,
they're, they have a very small amount of
people from which they can muster,
muster,
soldiers. Right? People who have, like, the not
only the ability to fight, but stakeholders in
the in the state. Right? This causes, like,
this chain reaction of nationalism throughout throughout all
of Europe,
and it causes all of Europe to rapidly
abandon,
their traditional cultures and ways of life,
in order to now cope with this,
trauma that was inflicted on them by France.
And then afterward, when they have this, like,
like, newfound power, they're able to unleash it,
and I would argue terrorize much of the
world with it.
However,
this is the same process that happens with
Islam as well when the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam came. Is that he was able
to mobilize the people of Arabia
through what? Through making them share shareholders and
stakeholders in civilization.
That tradition that was alive with our aslaf,
with the companions, and with the with the
Tabi'in Tabat Tabi'in,
then gives way to the yoke of a
patrician system in which Banu Umayya and Banu
Abbas are, like, the enfranchised class classes. Nobody
else has a has a stake in civilization
beyond,
beyond perhaps the the the classes of the
ulama.
And, what ends up happening is that you
revert to an old imperial mode where there's
a where there's a ruling class and franchise
class and the rest of people are just
kinda surviving getting by. There may be more
mobility, a far greater amount of mobility, social
mobility through,
what Banu Umayya and Banu Abbas had to
offer than,
the feudal system in
in Europe,
which was just kinda like the worst of
the worst. But, essentially, this is this is
how civilization
occurs. Right?
If
global warming is gonna kill everybody
and if the 1% are sapping the 99%
and if, you know, like,
we're going to lock up, like, migrants in,
in, like, cages and, like, let their children
die in the cold. And we're going to,
you know,
I don't know, put everyone on the ban
list.
Some some of your countries are the ban
list today and then my country will be
on the ban list tomorrow. One day, all
of us will end up in a camp.
All of these things are happening. Right? Ultimately,
there are ways of dealing with these these
things.
Ultimately,
unjust rule, unjust power doesn't,
cede to, demands except for through force as
well,
through coercion. Not necessarily military force, although sometimes
military force, it comes to that, but through
coercion, whether it's political, economic, whatever it is.
Right?
How is it that how is it that
that that process can happen properly
is when you have, enough shareholders and stakeholders
in civilization
in order to make that process meaningful. What's
so satanic about the the the destruction of
marriage is what?
Is that all of a sudden,
the engine through which,
through which the populace
can be,
raised with a a value system that is
reflective
of
the the the divine pleasure of the divine
mandate.
Right? What Allah is pleased with rather than
the debauchery that people the unchecked debauchery that
people with power will,
will will indulge in when they feel like
that power has no check on it. That
engine is
gone. And in fact, we'll go even further
that you
if you as a human being are unfulfilled
in this way,
as a man, as a woman, you're no
longer shareholders, you're no longer stakeholders in this
civilization.
That's why the point of marriage
is no longer to have a family.
Why is gay marriage make sense? Like, we
can be like, oh, look, haram. Right? Okay.
That's great. But not everybody in this world
believes in in in the revelation that came
down on the prophet's
heart.
And further than that, even though we do
believe in it. But it's important to understand
why as much as you're able to. What's
the point of what's the point of marriage?
What is the point of marriage? Right? If
if a man and woman, conceive offspring. Okay?
Who's in the more perilous situation of of
the 2 of them? From a completely biological
perspective.
Anyone? Wanna venture a theory?
Neuro? Yeah.
Probably the woman because she's pregnant. Yeah. 9
months of having to carry something around that's
like a parasite sapping your, you know,
nutritional and emotional and all this other stuff.
And then on top of that, that parasite
is going to literally, like, suck a modified
form of your blood for the next, like,
several years,
and then is going to be emotional,
emotionally and,
materially dependent on you.
Gosh, like, nowadays, until, like, he's 30.
Right?
That's problematic, and that's not a problem only
humans have. Go watch nature documentaries.
Right? Most mammals have the same problem.
Like, right. If it's salmon or whatever, they
just like wanna respond in the open ocean
and then swim away. Nobody It's nobody's problem.
Right? So salmon don't really need marriage.
Whereas whereas whereas with,
this, you know, whereas with with human beings,
this is a this is a genuine issue.
Right? With mammals in general and human beings
in specific,
this is one of the many reasons why
a man pays Mahr to a woman.
Another reason is, you know, you guys are
swell and stuff, but none of you are
pretty enough for that.
You know what I mean?
Maybe someone, you know, combs their hair good
or whatever. In general, why is it that
a man pays to a woman? There's an
understanding in the transaction in the transaction that
happens between a man and a woman as
mates, as spouses, as mates. Right? If we're
gonna, like, we're university people, we may as
well talk science. Right?
The transaction that happens between mates, there something
that a woman is giving up that the
man is not giving up. There's an expenditure
that the woman is putting into the process
that a man is not putting into the
process. That's why the Maher is given transferred
from one side to the other side and
not vice versa. If 2 men marry each
other, who should give Maher to who?
No one.
Who requires a in that contract?
The answer for all of these questions is
that this is a completely,
a completely, like, pointless question to have,
and it leads to a conclusion which is
what? This is not even a marriage in
the first place.
Why is that something though that doesn't make
sense to the people in the ages that
we live in? If I for example, there
may be some people already in this room
that are offended by this.
And on top of that, if we had,
in this room a representative
cross section of this society
or this college,
this university,
rather than just the MSA.
Probably more than half of the people in
the room would be, like, really, like, unbearably
offended by this.
Why? Because their entire con conception of of
their place in civilization society is different.
It has to do with me, what am
I enjoying, what makes me happy, what makes
me this, what makes me that, etcetera, which
is fine. You have a different,
set of things that you're pursuing in life.
What I would like you to pay attention
to is what
is that those things only make sense. Like,
a happy life is swiping left and swiping
right and getting matched with the one that
you that that you liked for a 1
night stand
endlessly.
It's only a goal for somebody who has
no stake in the future of this society.
Eat, drink, and marry for tomorrow we shall
die.
The planet is gonna run out of resources.
The you know, once you die, the lights
are gonna be out anyway, YOLO, and all
of this other, all of this other stuff.
If that's truly what you believe, then that
logic,
you know, that that will
lead to a set of values that are
compatible with that logic.
Whereas, if you are a stakeholder in civilization,
if you feel that you're essentially an optimist,
that Allah through his father can make things
better, and if he promises the one who
tries to help make things better, that that
person will not only have
a that we will give for them a
pleasant and a decent life in this world.
That you believe that that person in the
hereafter will be honored for
for what? For for doing that.
That Allah is pleased with justice.
Allah
commands to justice,
and then after that, ihsan that you should
give people more than what their rights are.
This is a very interesting continuum.
Justice is like what giving people what their
due is. Ihsan is giving people more than
what their due is. What does mean?
What does it mean to give to your
your relatives, your kin's folk?
Who here has like useful relatives? Raise your
hand.
Good for you. I wonder how it feels.
I'm willing to wager that even the people
who raise their hands,
the ones you're gonna give to are not
the useful ones.
And the ones that you're gonna give to
are never gonna say thank you to you,
and they're the ones who are gonna stab
you in the back afterwards, and you're gonna
be like, sheesh. I did this for them.
I did that for them. They stabbed me
in the back. Well, of course, only one
who is gonna stab you in the back
is the one that you trust in the
first place. Right?
So that's already known that this is never
gonna give you anything back in this world,
but Allah is pleased with it.
Allah is pleased with it. The
that the creation are the dependents of Allah
whoever takes care of the creation, whoever does
something good for them
forget about human beings. Any living thing, if
you do good by it, Allah will count
it as sadaqa for you.
If one of you were to say, Sheikh,
my entire,
life's work is going to be,
is going to be, like, I don't know,
like, animal welfare for cats and dogs.
Maybe some, like, shame grenade,
you know, hater MSA, brother or sisters, they'll
be like, stuff for a lot. You know,
there are human beings that are suffering, and
you're just doing cats and dogs and, like,
whatever.
No.
I'll agree that there's probably better things that
you could do with your time,
but Rasulullah
said
that every living thing is going to that
do do goodbye. It is it's an act
of piety. It's act of sadaqa with the
Lord.
And on top of that, he said,
don't ever underestimate
any good deed. If you threw your and
your keen understanding and insight into the deen,
understand a different thing that you could do
that you could,
go ascend in rank with the lord higher,
faster
than, you know, like, doing stuff for cats
and dogs, then go ahead and do that.
But the person the cats and dogs guy
is not robbing a liquor store, they're also
a good person. They're doing something good. Right?
So
this idea of you have this idea inside
of your mind that you want a brighter
future, you want a brighter tomorrow, you want
to serve, you want to make the circumstances
in this world better, you want to,
you know, make a better tomorrow. Why? Because
this is what Allah loves.
And the belief that
writes in this in a different place,
that what
that the,
the
is a very long discussion. The point is
is what? That the barakah and the nur
comes on on the hearts of of those
people who what? 1 from one of the
people that he mentions from the that's mentioned
from the author? Mansa,
The person, the person who they're constantly working
in order
to repair those things that are broken,
in society amongst people.
You know, like, one of the best things
that a person can do is if there's
a husband and wife, they're about to, like,
stab each other and you somehow facilitate them
making up with one another.
Right? And if that and and or with
between 2 brothers or between 2 sisters or
between 2 family members or between 2 Muslims
or between 2 human beings or you see
an injustice and you correct it.
Only a person who's a stakeholder in society
is going to worry about those things. Only
the person who aspires to be a stakeholder
in society is gonna worry about those things.
If you have no,
if you have no, like, future in that,
if that's, like, not your your,
hustle. You know what I mean? You're just
trying to do your YOLO thing and, like,
consume and then clock out, you know, the
dark night of death is going to cover
your eyes and then you'll never wake up
from it again.
Right? Then none of that stuff means anything.
In fact, really nothing means anything.
The problem is what? That the zombie army
of the of those YOLO people.
Right? You know why zombie like out of
all of the nightmare scenarios, why zombies are
the worst?
What's scary about zombies? Does any zombie run
real fast?
No. Does any zombie jump real high?
Is there any zombie that's like a criminal
genius, mastermind, always like 10 steps ahead? No.
What is it? They're really stupid but there's
so many of them that you'll shoot all
of your bullets and you'll run out and
they'll still keep coming. And then you'll take
your, sword and break it, you know, killing
and they'll still keep coming. You'll break your
baseball bats, they'll still keep coming. Your lighter
fluid you'll run out of lighter fluid, set
as many of them as you, on fire
as you can and they'll still keep coming.
You'll punch as many of them as you
can until you're tired and they'll still keep
coming and then your body, you know, your
tired body will be laying on the floor
quite aware of what's going on, but unable
to resist, and they'll slowly gnaw your brains
out.
That's scary.
It's overwhelming.
It's a nightmare.
What is it? There are certain people who
have a vested interest. There are certain people
who have a vested interest in that, like,
zombie apocalypse happening spiritually.
People who make large corporations that make money
depend on everyone being a zombie in order
to maintain their hegemony. Just like the empires
of the old days
of the Chinese,
the empires of the Romans, the empires of
the Persians. They depended on a small,
pit patrician class being able to basically dominate
huge,
under classes of people and extract resources wealth
from them in order to teach them that
that we are the gods that you worship
and,
you can do whatever you want but just
don't question us. Right? That happened in this
country as well. It happened in the South.
It happened in the South. So you bring
people in chains and separate them from their
homeland and from their families and all this
other stuff, and then you tell them you
tell them this picture of this white man
on the on the on the wall, this
is this is god.
You worship him. See, he looks like me,
doesn't look like you. Right? He doesn't look
like me, but you know what I mean.
Right?
And so there are a lot of people
who bought that Kool Aid. Incidentally, I don't
because black history month
So shame on you guys for calling me
instead of someone for that. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. Call them out. Call them out.
Yeah. Hold them okay. Hold the street to
the fire. The,
interestingly, who who which section of the slaves
didn't buy that Kool Aid drink that Kool
Aid?
The Muslims. The Muslims.
Right? The ones that they would, like, enslave
from Senegal, Gambia, etcetera, from those from those
from West Africa.
Like, in the fields, it'd be like, your
god is not a human being and he's
definitely not a white man. This is all
nonsense. We gotta do something about this. And
so every country in the Western Hemisphere, at
some point or another, will pass laws saying
you cannot bring slaves from the Muslim lands
anymore. Bring them from, like, Angola and from
Congo and things like that.
Why? Because those those poor people, the the
message of deen didn't reach them, so they
weren't equipped in order to
in order to resist,
resist us. Otherwise, read about the slave rebellion
in Bahia. It brings coolness to the heart
that this iman we we see, like, we're,
like,
stakeholders in civilization.
This iman will take a person in the
most desperate of situations and give them so
much honor and shut off in this world.
Imagine how much honor those people will have
in the hereafter, that they even look in
chains in their in their legs and their
necks and in their hands, and they look
at the slave master and say, you're nothing.
I have Allah to Allah with me.
This type of courage and this type of
strength to stand up doesn't come from somebody
who's not a shareholder in
civilization.
I know you're like, when is this guy
gonna talk about marriage? Okay. We're gonna wrap
this, like, more theoretical part part of the
discussion
up very quickly. But
the point is is what?
The point is is what? The point is
is that that person that doesn't have a
a a worry for tomorrow and a stake
in civilization
and doesn't see themselves as, like, part of
that process, that person is not going to
have the hima in order to resist. That
person is if they're smart, they'll kill themselves
because they know that this is no. Seriously,
this is why suicide is such a big
issue nowadays. It's that people who have that
YOLO mindset,
they know that the patrician upper class is
just gonna eat the poor. It's not gonna
get better. There's nothing we can do about
it. Because I, myself, cannot find the courage
in myself to resist, like, this, commercialism, resist
this consumerism,
resist this swiping left and swiping right and
all this other nonsense.
And I woke.
So what is everybody else who's a fool
gonna do?
It's a very legitimate, like, line of thinking.
People talk about the Khalifa that if we
only had a Khalifa, everything would be wonderful
in the world. If you read Muslim history,
there is things that the Muslims did while
the Khalifa was there that were like really
messed up. Like, really messed up. So don't
be
I'm not saying that it's not part of
the deen. It's part of the deen to
establish the Hakam of Allah on earth and
etcetera etcetera. I completely agree with that. But
don't think it's like a magical
solution.
And on the flip side, you're the Khalifa
of Allah, Khalas.
You know, if you if you were if
you were to become governor, what would happen?
How do you become a governor? There's an
election.
There are votes,
you know, electors. God knows how how it
happens. Then the clerk of, like, whatever elections
will certify the results, and then you'll be,
you know, sworn in.
Some person who's, like,
not a Muslim but dressed like the imam
of your masjid for some odd reason,
will have you put your hand on one
of any random number of texts and say
that you're,
governor and then magically you're governor. Right?
And if I said I'm governor, they'd be
like, no. You're you're delusional because none of
that stuff happened for you. Right?
You all
say
You're already the khalifa of Allah Ta'ala in
this world. Who gave you the vestment with
it? A clerk?
A grown man who's or woman who's wearing
a black dress?
Who? Allah who created the heavens and the
earth from nothing, said,
this
is your world.
Allah will ask you why it's so messed
up because unlike everybody else, unlike Bernie and
Trump and all these other people, you're the
one who knew better.
And if you didn't, you had the book
in front of you, there's no reason you
shouldn't have. Right?
You're the khalifa of Allah. Go fix everything
now.
But sheikh, it's not that easy. I know
it's not that easy.
First thing we should do
is make a stable home, and then we
can, like, make a dua outside. Right?
Protect
you.
Right?
Protect yourselves. Shield yourselves from
from that fire.
You you and your, yourselves and your families
from that fire, the fuel of which is
men and stones.
Men here, historically, there'll be women there too.
Don't worry.
So
this is,
you know, the mandate is there. The election
result is certified. You've received the official copy.
Now do something about it. Okay? The first
step is what? Is that you fortify your
own household. If you cannot fortify your own
household, your own families,
those are the basic units of civilization.
The only people who have a an interest
in dismantling,
dismembering those units are people who wish to,
what, to break up conglomerations
of power so that that are potential threats
to their and resistance to their to their
power. Why? Because if you, you and your
wife love each other and you stop, watching
advertisements that tell you that are you know,
you're gonna be happy by going on a
cruise in the Bahamas and buying a certain
type of shoes and, like, you know, living
in a certain type of house and driving
a certain type of car. They're all gonna
go out of business.
You'll be happy with one another
and that's it. That's all she wrote. You'll
be happy with your children. You don't need
any of these other things in order to,
like, fill your fill your life with cheap
thrills. Right?
So we come back now to the discussion
of
marriage
that's more relevant to
to, those of us in the room. And
we start with a hadith of the messenger
of Allah
which is a sunnah
not a sunnah, which is often recited, I
should say, at the
solemnization of a nikah contract in which the
messenger of Allah says,
a woman is to be married for four
reasons,
for her,
for her,
beauty
and for her wealth and for her lineage
and for her deen. And the messenger of
Allah said
that you,
will be successful by choosing the one that
possesses deen.
May your hands perish, which is not literally
a dua, but a expression of emphasis,
that was used amongst the Arabs.
Meaning what what will make your your household
unit stable?
It's deen. Why? Because if your wife doesn't
respect Allah, she certainly isn't going to respect
you. And the, parallel that the ulama mentioned
with regards to the ladies that they should
look for in a man is what Is
that that person should fear Allah.
Deen in general, but in particular, the fear
of Allah.
Why?
Even though it's not universally the case, but
by and large, generally, a man is stronger
than a woman
is physically,
and, society will afford him the certain,
licenses that women are not afforded,
good, bad, or or or whatever.
Biological facts that we mentioned from before
afford him, an ability to break from from,
the relationship with
less consequences
in general,
at least immediately,
than
a woman. If that person doesn't fear Allah
then when his anger, enters into his heart,
which it undoubtedly will enter for all of
us at some point or another. There's nobody
who's immune to any of these things. It's
not always like
I mean, not every day is good. You're
not always gonna be in love.
Then on that day, you know, that person
is not going to force the the the
marriage to break through their impetuousness.
And this is a really interesting thing. And
this is again, maybe I spent too much
time in madrasah and, like, if I had
common sense, I wouldn't say these things in
a forum like this. But, like, marriage is
also a hierarchical,
a hierarchical relationship in Islam.
Hierarchy means what? It doesn't mean ownership.
It doesn't mean dominance for the sake of
dominance. It means that there's an adab. Right?
There for example, parents and children is a
hierarchical relationship.
Who's supposed to respect who? The children respect
their parents. Right? Now if your parents tell
you to go kill yourself,
then you're not supposed to.
But in general, if they say something like
grab milk on the way home, then you
should grab some milk on the way home.
Why? It's a hierarchical relationship. It's not proper
for you to say that to them. And
if they if you did say it to
them and they said no, like, you have
no right to be upset with them in
the same way that they have a right
to be upset with you had things been
the other way around. A marriage in Islam
is a hierarchical relationship. The messenger of Allah
his hadiths are very, clear about this
that, that,
I I didn't command any person to make
sajdah to any other person.
But if I were to do so, I
would command that a woman make sajdah to
her husband.
He said
he was asked by there was one of
the, one of the Sahabi'at asked him, what
is the right of a a husband over
his wife? This, again, not a legal pronouncement.
It's not a legal pronouncement. What is the
right of a a a of a husband
over his wife?
He said
that if he comes home and his wounds
are bleeding and the only way to treat
them is for you to lick the pus
out of the wounds that you shouldn't do
it for him.
And do you know what the Sahabi has
said? She's like, I'm
not gonna I I can't do that. And
she never married. She never married after that.
And, you know, nobody forced her to do
so. But, like, the thing is they took
that they took that very seriously. Now what
does that mean?
Just in the same way because it's interesting.
I've said these hadith and, like, and stuff
like that in the past. And people are
like, Sheikh, you're enabling abuse. Okay. If I
give a if I give a a
in and I I get the fact that
everybody comes to these things, like, from their
own,
from their own experience. If there's a woman
here who's, like, been really abused by her
husband,
when she hears these hadiths, it will
obviously,
you know,
seem different to her than than,
than it would for a woman who had
a really, like, wonderful husband. You know? All
of,
the sisters wonderful husbands and, wonderful wives to
the brothers, etcetera.
But, let's divorce it from context and think
about it as a
a theoretical,
as a theoretical construct, which is a starting
point for for for for discussions, then, yes,
if abuse happens, that changes the scenario if
it doesn't happen to change the scenario. I
know neuro doesn't like people abstracting things too
much. As an unfortunate fact, this is the
way,
of all intellectual matters have to begin, that
the, truth flows from abstract to concrete and
not the other way around.
But, the, idea is what is that that
it's a hierarchical it's a hierarchical relationship. If
you like it or not, it ends up
being a hierarchical relationship anyway. And there's a
lot of wisdom in it being a hierarchical
relationship, which is what?
And hierarchical relationship is two way. Meaning what?
If if you were if someone Allah commanded,
you know, as parents, he commanded your children
to listen to you.
It doesn't mean that, you know, Allah Ta'ala
wanted slavery to somehow exist after the civil
war, and so he, like, put this commandment
in the Quran for that. That's not what
the point is. Imagine if a a parent
is just really abusive in their relationship with
their children. Allah will ask them about it.
They will be punished on the day of
judgment.
There are rational limits to the the the
hierarchy of that relationship. If parents tell their
children to go jump off a bridge, that
child is under no way, shape, or form
obliged to go jump off a bridge. It's
a extreme example but the principle holds firm
in a number of other scenarios.
Just like that, a husband, if he's abusive
to his wife, the wife has remedies for
that.
But in general, what is the benefit of
there being hierarchy in the relationship between husband
and wife?
Imagine, we're 2 completely coequal partners. Right?
A man and a woman, a woman and
a woman, a man and a man,
or one of any 17/30
5. I don't know how many permutations thereof
that we're working with nowadays.
Like, your pronoun looks like an algebraic equation.
Who knows? I might be banned from the
from from from OSU for even saying this
right now. There a day may come if
the recording comes up. I might be banned
one day for it. You know?
At any rate,
if it's not a hierarchical relationship, it's a
a relationship of equals.
The days you agree,
it's going to be okay. Right? Everything's wonderful.
What happens the day you disagree?
The day that you disagree,
one of a number of options emerge in
front of you.
Either party 1 is going to have to
submit to party 2
or party 2 is going to have to
submit to party 1
or neither submits to the other and they
go their own separate ways.
What's the barakah of having hierarchy?
The adab of every hierarchical,
every hierarchical situation,
every hierarchical relationship. I know it's kind of
getting confusion,
a little bit. But there are, you know,
if there's wisdom in that tradition, that's fine
too. Right?
I didn't mean confusion. I said confusion. Right?
What is the what is the what is
the wisdom? The adab of being in the
in the in empowered position in a hierarchical
relationship is what?
Is that you should be the first one
to make sacrifice. You should be the first
one to forgo your your right. The rich
should forego their right in favor of the
poor. That's what ihsan is. Right?
Parents will make far in general, far more
sacrifices for their children than children will make
for their parents.
A man came to the came came to
Hajj.
The went to Hajj only once. He came
to Hajj carrying his aged mother on his
back,
And he was making tawaf with her on
his back. No wheelchairs back then. Right? Now
they have the whole wheel wheelchair, like, track,
and if you, you know, if you're not
careful, like, some really fast, kid from Yemen
or whatever is gonna, like, run over your
ankle and cause it to bleed in the
high end floor. Right? It happens. Anyone that
happened to you before?
Yeah. The joys of our civilization. Right?
So he's carrying his mother on his back.
Imagine that.
And he said,
have I fulfilled the right of my mother?
I came from so far away with her
carrying her the whole way here just so
she could make Hajj with you. Have I
fulfilled the right of my mother?
And the prophet
says says what? Says you haven't even fulfilled
you haven't even fulfilled the right of 1
of the birth pangs that she, that she
suffered for when carrying you.
What is what is what is one of
the meanings we take from this? Is that
in a hierarchical relationship in general, when it's
functional and it's healthy,
the sacrifice comes from the from the from
the,
higher, the dominant position toward the lower and
not the other way around in general.
That that person can carry his mother on
Hajj and go back and still the Rasool
is affirming the fact that your mother made
more sacrifice for you than you made for
her.
So as a good husband and as a
husband who wishes to stay married,
if it's a matter of do you wanna
go to Taco Bell or Burger King today?
Say, you know what, honey? Whatever you choose.
Obviously, like,
this is like in a theoretical Taco Bell
and Burger King, where things are halal and
things like that. Right?
Right?
But the point is, like, you don't you're,
like, oh, I'm the man. I can choose
right where I wanna go and, like, you
do it every single time. It's this that's
stupid. You're a not that's against Adaba being
in the the empowered position in in in
the Adababa hierarchy, and you're just gonna make
your marriage break because nobody can be ridden
like that.
You couldn't be if someone else asked you
to. If your parents asked you or their
parents were like, hey. Yo. Like, you know,
do,
20 push ups and then stand on one
leg for, like, an hour and then afterward,
go make me a lemonade. Like, you're you
you can't do that every day. A day
will come where you're gonna break down and
be like, I can't, I'm tired, I'm this
and that. Can't you make your own? Why?
I don't even get the point of this.
It's it's all gonna break down and that
day your parents are gonna be, oh, oh,
look at this. I bore you. I carried
you in my stomach for 9 months. I
worked so that you could what I you
know, like, all of this stuff and like
and all you do is sit on your
phone all day and now you're telling me
I can't make just one cup of them.
Like, you know, like, it's
what's gonna it's leads leads to a type
of unreasonability.
Right?
So the point is is what some then
someone's like, well, Shay, you're the one who
said that the husband is in the enfranchised
position. Right?
And now you're saying I we can never
exercise that.
That's not what I'm saying. The point of
being in that enfranchised position is what? That
you save the card for the day that
has to do with something with the dean
or with something with the viability of the
household.
Just like the parents will sacrifice for their
children, sacrifice for their children, sacrifice for their
children. One day the kid is gonna be
like, hey, mom, can I, can I, like,
you know, like, start a small fire in
the corner of the house? And mom's gonna
be like, this is my son. If he
asks for ice cream, I give it to
him. If he asks for candy, I give
it to him. He's the apple of my
eye. I dress him in the morning and
I clean up after him afterward, and I
cook whatever and dal and biryani and whatever
he wants, like, for him,
you know, and, like, you know, I I'll
feed him bite by bite, but now he's
gonna burn the house down. Right? So I
have to say no at this point. Right?
The point is is what? Is that that
you you should save that rather than
he considered any sacrifice that a man makes
in order to make his wife happy to
be a sadaqah.
Right? Until the to the point of, like,
being able to raise the,
morsel of food to the mouth of his
wife.
It counts as what? As a as a
sadaqa. And now it's it's interesting, like, you
know, I mean,
the modern sensibility the modern sensibility is like,
oh, are you saying we're like children? You
know? No. That's not what it's saying.
But what does it mean? It means, like,
when you're actually delivering the child and things
like you need some help.
When your son becomes old enough that you,
you know, like, smack him in the face
and he laughs at you instead of crying.
Right? It would be good to have somebody
to,
you know, be there to, like, back you
up.
If you want to invest a certain amount
of time in raising your children, it's good
to have somebody who can pay the bills.
That's why I said from before, I told
them I told them, I'm sorry to break
break your guys' hearts. I told the sisters
in the session before, if he doesn't pay
5 times a day and he cannot pay
the rent, then it's better to live alone.
Why? Because that that benefit is gone now
now. There's no point to it anymore.
It just becomes, you know anyway, so we're
we're gonna we're gonna get to there's one
benefit that's still there. We're gonna talk about
it in in a couple of minutes,
and then we'll move to question and answers.
But the point is is what? The reason
that it's it's a hierarchical,
relationship, there's a there's a type of wisdom
in it and hierarchy doesn't mean enslavement,
nor does it mean that one party is
better than the other. It's just a a
a an archetype of how things should work.
And on top of it and on top
of it being something that benefits
men and women. In fact, marriage benefits women
more than it benefits men.
Not in the sense that, like, oh, look,
you should be, like, happy that some slob
married you. The point is is the the
point is that when marriage is gone, what
ends up happening? Like, let's let's look at
it. Let's talk about it right now. Your
masjid imam won't tell you about it. I'll
tell you about it. Okay?
Tinder
or one of the galaxy of apps that
all work on the same swipe right swipe
left
model.
Do you know who ends up which males
end up being successful in that model?
The 0.6%
most attractive men
which are often times more often than not
unemployed and uneducated
and all they do is spend their time
working out at the gym.
Now tell me something, does that remind you
of anything like any other species? It's the
rest of the mammalian like archetype of what?
That there's the alpha male like meathead
like alpha male,
and he has this choice from the entire,
from the entire flock of of females.
Is that going to produce offspring
at all? Probably not. If it does, is
it gonna produce offspring that are gonna be
the custodians of civilization?
No. It's gonna move us back in the
gorilla and chimpanzee, bonobo,
orangutan
direction. Where's our, where's our,
Indonesian brother? Right? You don't wanna go orangutan
because their entire habitat is gonna be gone
in palm oil plantations relatively soon. Right? There's
no there's no point to it. The point
is there's no benefit in that.
Right? So when I say that the marriage
benefits men as well, spiritually,
like,
in a material sense
in a material sense, it it it
that hierarchical relationship is not a type of
enslavement or a type of,
in type a type of,
like, misogynistic
control or
or a type of
disenfranchisement
or a sign of being a second class
citizen or a second class human being. In
fact, it's more akin to, like, like, a
a lien against, like, a property that money
is owed on or something like that. It's
in your it's in your benefit. It's in
your interest.
Now
there's one last thing that I I I
wanted to talk about, right,
Which is what? Because the reason we're talking
about all these things is that hopefully, by
understanding marriage better, you'll understand what will actually
constitute a a good a good partner.
Right? So for example, one lovelorn
young man who prays in the masjid 5
times a day, he, several years ago came
to me, he says, Sheikh, I wanna marry
such and such sister. I'm like, oh yeah?
Why?
He's like, she's so amazing. She writes the
most, like, wonderful and genius blog posts, and
like her blog posts, like, she's so intelligent,
she's so charming and witty and blah blah
blah and the other thing. And, and I'm
like I'm like, why don't you marry somebody
who's going to be a good wife and
who's going to, like, you know, who you
would like like your children to, you know,
learn from and benefit from? And then once
you're married to her, you can always read
this woman's blog post anyway.
That's not that's not what makes a good
wife.
You guys are laughing you guys are laughing,
but unfortunately, it's very sad. Right? I I
deal because people, when when the when the
defecation hits the oscillation, they end up calling
me. I get 3, 4 highly dysfunctional
highly dysfunctional calls about marital dispute
in a day.
Let me tell you something. That, you know,
you have the choice, like, between the sister
who's, like, pious and the sister who's fun.
Right?
The day you have a daughter, you're gonna
wanna kill yourself. Why? Because you're going to
be like, okay. Guys are horrible because I
know because I'm horrible, so this is what
you should do and this is what you
should look out for. The last girl, like,
I don't get it. Why? You know, no.
You should, like, you know, be fun. Like,
you know, it's okay you go out with
your male friends and this and that. You're
like, no. The only reason they're going out
you know, it doesn't work. It breaks down
at that point. Right? You should should know
what the point of having a wife is.
You should know what the point of having
a husband is in order to pick a
husband that's that's good a wife that's good.
You know? Somebody who is,
you know, like, a good comedian and he
makes you laugh, you know, for half an
hour, watch a stand up on YouTube. You
need somebody who's dependable, who's gonna, like, you
know,
be somebody who will be useful, like, when
you're, you know, like, whatever, when you're, like,
just delivered a child, like, 7 hours ago.
You know?
At any rate, so that was the point
of that. Now there's one last one last,
awkward topic. Don't giggle and laugh, please.
Be a little bit more mature. This is
one thing I lament. You know? One thing
I I I find, like, impious
Muslim kids oftentimes, they have a certain type
of piety that the pious ones don't have.
Right? Like in Islam, you're supposed to respect
your parents. Right?
So
there's 2,
there's 2, sons in the household.
1 is, like, you know, pious like Taqwa
Mohammed,
and the other guy, he's like his name
is Shaitan Fulan and he's just smokes weed
all the time. Right? It wasn't that funny.
Right?
So what happens?
Muhammad, like, you know, he goes to, like,
whatever so and so,
his halakka everyday.
And and his mother's like, you know, I
don't think you should go to that halakah
so much. For whatever reason, good or bad.
Maybe it's a bad reason. Right?
And so what is he gonna do? Mom,
I go learn the deen from him and
stuff for Allah, and
and this and that and the other thing,
and like, I'm gonna go and like, how
dare you and like, you should read the
Quran more and read the hadith more and
you should go to the and they're gonna
get into a fight with his with with
their mother. Right? And they're gonna yell at
their mother.
Whereas, like, Shaitan Fulan, what is he gonna
do? He's gonna go out and smoke weed.
Right? And his mother is like, what are
you gonna go do? He's like, oh, I'm
just gonna go out with my friends.
Why wouldn't he tell his mother he's gonna
go smoke weed? Because it would break her
heart.
In this situation, which of the 2 has
right? He's not lying. Right? In this situation,
which of the 2 which of the 2
prosecuted the the the command of Dean better?
Right? The latter one. So I'll tell you.
We'll talk about something. Don't laugh about it.
It's important. You should know about it. You
should think about it. Unfortunately,
unfortunately,
I think in some ways for good reasons,
although to bad outcomes,
Muslim boys don't really know how to talk
to women, and Muslim girls don't really understand
how, you know, men are thinking.
And it's good in the sense that, like,
you know,
the relationship between a man and a woman
is very powerful and it overwhelms the rational
faculty.
And it causes a person to sometimes make
mistakes that they're never gonna be able to
dig themselves out of in their life, no
matter how much they make and how hard
they work. You know, if you have, like,
if you have a child when you're 15
with somebody who's, like, crazy,
you know, that's something that, you know, you
you'll never actually solve that. You're just gonna
be shackled with that,
the the the outcome of that for the
rest of your life. You can pretend it's
not a problem and you're just racking up
the debt and you're gonna take the beating
on the other end,
like, but piecing out as a mother or
as a father or whatever. But that's a
problem that's not gonna be easily solved,
or solved at all. You know, the solution
of the actual best case solution of the
problem is going to basically divert the attention
of the your whole rest of your life.
You're not gonna do anything else anymore. That's
going to be your life from now on.
And so,
yes, parents wanna shelter their children from those
things. The problem is what? You're gonna have
to you're gonna have to live with a
woman one day. You're gonna have to live
with a man one day. You should know
how the other thinks.
Okay?
And part of this has to do with
one of the bedrock and foundational
reasons for marriage.
Right? We're not we're not Catholics that say
that the only reason for marriage is procreation.
Right? What is there are literally countries in
this in, you know, in the world where
people I don't know if people are still
like that. There are probably a few people
still like that. But, like, people within their
parents and grandparents' generations,
the way that mommy and daddy used to,
like, you
know, be friends is,
there was literally a sheet between them and
a small slit in the sheet, and the
person is supposed to be, like,
asking for forgiveness while,
the act of making love and afterward as
well because what? It's sin. All of it
is sin.
You can see how that's like a type
of dysfunctionality, and extremism is like a pendulum.
It swings too far to one side. It
will definitely swing too far to the other
side. That that that group of people who,
viewed * as so evil,
Are they more,
are they bigger sexual miscreants or are the
Muslims?
Why? Because the extremism was so far on
one side and it just the
the the the pendulum is gonna swing hard
to the other side because that's how extremism
works. Whereas in Islam, we don't consider *
to be a sin.
Rather, it is the the the the the
private part is one of the spiritual limbs.
This is a metaphor.
Okay?
Spiritual limbs mean what? That the heart is
like the the king in the in the
castle, the the middle of the fortress.
And the fortress has gates
through which, through which things can enter the
city and things can exit the city.
And the city is entered by, the spiritual
limbs, the eyes. If you look at good
things, your heart will have a good effect
and you'll be a good person. If you
look at bad things, bad effect on the
heart, eventually become a bad person.
Ears,
your tongue, everything you say outward,
there's a carbon copy sent to your heart
as well.
It's one of the limbs of the heart.
One of the limbs of the heart is
the stomach. If you eat haram, it's killing
your heart inside. That's why don't eat haram.
If you drink haram, don't drink haram. It's
gonna kill your heart inside.
Right? And neuro is this is this fit
into your, like, whole, like, paradigm or I
don't know, you know, like right? And and
the heart here is not like the,
you know,
4 chambers and all that. We're talking about
a spiritual apparatus.
Right? Okay. And and that spiritual apparatus which
is described in the Quran that the day
of judgment
is If you bring the heart and give
gift it to Allah on the day of
judgement, undamaged. You'll go to Jannah,
and there's nothing else that will get you
into Jannah other than that.
Not your progeny, not your wealth, nothing nothing's
gonna be a price to enter Jannah except
for that you bring your heart intact to
Allah like like he sent it to you
when you were like a little baby, so
cute and wonderful. Right?
So the the idea is is this, is
that the the the private parts of a
human being
is an inroad into the heart.
Meaning,
where whatever a person does with it. If
a person does something haram with it, what
is that the haram and indecency of that
is affecting the heart in a haram in
an indecent way.
But the converse is what?
Is that if you do something good with
it, then it affects the heart in a
good way. What does that mean?
That means there's a hadith of the prophet
Again, all of these things are so offensive
to the modern sensibility. Feel free not to
share it with your friends. I may not
even even and I say itself might boycott
me for saying these things.
Please forgive me. My point is not to
offend you. Just try to understand something. The
good part, take it. The bad part, you
can disagree with it later. Okay? The messenger
of Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, if
a man because traditionally the men were the
ones who worked outside of the house and
the women were the ones who would go
out of the house sparingly. Right? So if
a man goes to the marketplace
and he sees a woman and it incites,
a a a feeling inside of him,
it happens. Don't admit to it. Of course,
as an individual, you should pretend in public
like it doesn't happen to me, but it
happens to every man. It happens to women
as well. Happens to people. Right? Ignore it
ignore it and be, you know, like,
slid in the sheets about it. It's not
gonna really, like, solve the problem. It's just
gonna make it all, like, cascade and hit
you all the harder later on when it
does hit you. Right?
If a man his passions are inflamed by
someone he sees outside outside of the house,
let him go home to his wife because
he'll find with his wife the thing that
he would have found with that woman.
And the messenger of Allah
continues. He says that
that inside
inside
the the the the flesh of your body
is a sadaqah.
Meaning what?
If you're married
and you
get it on real good with your partner.
You receive the reward of sadaqah,
and the companions are like, what? Really? Like,
you get you get reward for, like, doing
it good?
And, he's he said
and he says he says that, don't you
see how if one of you were to
take their desire in a haram way, commit
adultery, how much sin there would be in
that?
It's bad. It's not a good thing. It's
a really bad thing. Those people who've never
done it, they consider it bad. Those people
who have done it have felt the dirtiness,
the cheapness, the, like, the
the the the, like, loss of their own
humanity in doing that.
They know how bad it is even more
than maybe than the people who haven't done
it before. Right?
Don't you see how bad it would have
been if you did it in a if
you gained that pleasure in a haram way?
That's how much reward you get for for
for doing it in the halal way. Now
imagine that. That's a lot of
reward. Doing something which
is frankly very pleasant and very good, and
it's spiritually edifying as well.
It's such a spiritual it's not like the
Catholics said
did this thing, you know. What is it?
Literally, the amount of sin you would get
for for committing
you receive that amount of reward for what?
For for for getting it on well with
your with your spouse.
There's so much there's so much, like,
you know how we said that, like, the
breakdown of marriage, there's so much
there's so many that are built on that
foundation. There are so
many there are so many, rectifications of broken
things that are built on a husband and
wife having a a a healthy
physical relationship with one another. There are so
many problems and stresses that go away. Neuro
will give you a long band about oxytocin
and about cortisol go giving way to oxytocin
and good feelings and all of this other
stuff that will help a person and their
immune system and all these other wonderful stuff
for you physically,
for you spiritually. Right?
Imagine that. It's not it's not the the
the thing that you make is still far
from. Rather, there's literally a Dua for doing
it.
Anyone know what the Dua is for doing
it?
That's why none of you are getting any.
Right?
It's a hadith of Sahib Bukhari.
It's a hadith of Sahib Bukhari that the
prophet said that the dua that that a
that a person should do before before uh-uh
*
with their spouse.
Oh Allah,
spare us the shaitan and spare the shaitan
from reaching and affecting that thing that you,
you, give to us, meaning the offspring that
you give to us. I I learned that
du'a when I was I got married while
I was still studying. Later years later when
I made it to the Dora Hadith, we're
reading Sahih Bukhari in a very hot,
summer's day in Lahore. In Lahore, the summer
gets to, like, a 127
degrees. It's really hot.
Like, even the donkeys and the dogs are,
like, panting, like, out of desperation.
Okay? It was one of those days, like,
the sweat comes into your eyes and burns
your eyes and you can't sleep at night.
And so, like, you just, like, come in
out of out of, like, consciousness sometimes because
reading the is not a short affair. It
takes, like, the whole day, the hours of
the day.
So I remember the reciter is reading from
the from the from the book
and, like, I, like, had dozed off, and
then I hear out of my ear this
dua,
and I'm like
like, not here. We're in the daril hadith.
What's going on? And then I realized he
just got to that hadith. That's all that's
happening because, like, you're like, this is not
a memory I associate with.
Sheikh Hadith is, like, sitting in front of
us and all the students of knowledge, like,
you know? But it's there's a dua for
it.
And the person who can remember Allah
in that in that moment,
which is the moment the supreme moment of
forgetfulness.
This is a sign. This is a miraculous
sign
of the of the truth and of the
haqqah and of the, of the mother that
Allah gave to the of the prophet
that a person can remember Allah at that
time because if they can remember Allah at
that time, they'll remember Allah ta'ala,
There's not gonna be a going to be
a moment not in wakefulness nor in sleep,
not in
tribulation and affliction nor in in times of
ease and times of joy that a person
will forget Allah
So the idea is what? Literally, Ulamah have
written books about doing it.
And the book starts with,
and it will mention these ayaat and mention
these hadith of the prophet
of the benefits and the virtues of doing
it.
And then,
they will talk about things in a type
of graphic description. All I can say is
that Western religious tradition is completely unfamiliar with
such a thing.
Many of the great ulama wrote Anyone here
about Suyuti?
Everyone heard the name? Suyuti wrote 3 books.
There's like a a a a a a
a book he wrote about it, then he
wrote an abridgment of it, and then he
wrote like a long multi volume work about
it and it goes into a remarkable amount
of detail.
Don't you don't you guys all wish and
ladies wish all you all knew classical Arabic
better than you do. Right? Because they're very
interesting books.
Why is it? Because this is something that
you need in order to be in order
to be, a a a viable and successful
and and aspirational,
stakeholder in the future of civilization in this
world and the hereafter.
This is one of this is one of
the reasons I'll frankly say it's a civilizational
failure of this generation. Not of Islam because
Islam taught us better.
It is a civilizational failure of this generation
that what
that we you know, if it was such
a wonderful thing, how come all of us
weren't married when we're 14, 13, 14, 15,
16? Why is it that a kafir can
have a girlfriend
and, like, you as a Muslim,
you know, cannot
have a spouse?
You know, kafirah can have a boyfriend or
a girlfriend or a kafirah can have whatever
permutation of friend that they wish to.
But you you know, you these are all
the benefits in the deen of this thing
you would think like you would wanna that's
how all of our forefathers were.
Every every every Muslim civilization,
people would get married by the time they
hit puberty.
Now, obviously, if someone gets married when they're
14, 15, 16 years old, there's going to
be a big out outcry, a big back
backlash
about it,
and some of which has to do with
ideological
crookedness, some of which is actually very legitimate,
some of which is legitimate because we haven't
made the culture
a
But that doesn't mean that it can't happen.
Whether, you know, whether that's a good thing
or bad thing, this is beyond the scope
of this discussion right now. Why? Because none
of us as individuals nor as a conglomerate
could we get together and fix those problems.
It just is what it is. We have
to deal with it. Okay?
But the point of me mentioning this is
what?
Is that you don't want to delay you
don't want to delay this thing.
Not having not having a a halal outlet
for this thing is spiritually damaging for a
person, and it will lead to a person
sufficing through the haram
with that thing that they they should be
sufficing through the halal. It will not only
lead to, like, physiological
problems. People
masturbate
and watch *
as a habit will oftentimes go into a
spiral. Men and women, they'll go into a
spiral that's more and more,
degenerate,
and it will affect them
psychologically. It will affect them physiologically to the
point where there are a significant percentage of
the population,
of people who are able to be sexually
attracted to a computer screen or to a
phone more than they are to a man
or a woman,
that's, like, very problematic. People don't get there
overnight and, like, you know, unfortunately, many people
from our parents' generation are like, hey. Just
wait. Just wait. Just wait. Yeah. Sure. Everyone's
gonna wait. I'm sorry. Like, the biological makeup
of a human being, you cannot ignore it.
You know. It doesn't just go away just
because you pretend it doesn't exist.
Rather like a pendulum, that's a type of
extremism. It will sign you. It will hurt
you afterward if you don't pay attention to
it. Just like a person who tries to
hold their breath, what will happen? They'll eventually
pass out, and once they're unconscious, they're gonna
breathe a lot. Right?
Just like a person who is like, tries
not to, you know, eat until they're starved
or or whatever, they're gonna harm themselves. Right?
Just like that, this is something if you
don't take care of it, you're gonna harm
yourself. You're gonna it's just it's just a
bad thing. You're gonna harm yourself not only
physically, you're gonna harm yourself spiritually. How will
a person love Allah if they don't know
what it is to, love their wife? Why
is it that the ulama
in the old days, you know, like, why
is it that all of the crazy, like,
you know, Mullah looking dudes with the beards
and the turbans, they're the ones who are,
like, you know,
Well, I can,
that that, I I passed by the the
the the neighborhood of Leila, and I kissed
this wall and I kissed this other wall,
but you see it's not the love of
walls that has overwhelmed my heart, taken my
heart with passion, but the love of the
one who lives inside of those walls. When
when, quotes
this
verse, what is he talking about?
He's not talking about Layla.
If he was talking about Layla, the congregation
would take their slippers off, and beat him
off of the pulpit, and say, This guy
is the pulpit of the messenger of Allah
salallahu alaihi wa sallam, and he's trying to
be a player?
Get out of here. Get out. Leave.
We're definitely not gonna let you speak. You
have like an hour question and answer session
with our daughters.
Right?
The when they quote those verses, what are
they talking? They're talking about the love of
Allah ta'ala. Right? Allah ta'ala is the one
who is, like, beyond description, beyond
comprehension.
All we can do is construct analogies on
what we know in order to be a
bridge to the starting point of how a
person can love Allah
So when they talk about those things, what
are they talking about? They're talking about a
a love that that's transcendent of the love
of this world that you think of the
love of this world which is the most
intense that you can think of, and that's
the starting point where you talk about it
as a an office, as a deficient metaphor
for something that's that's higher than than normal
human,
comprehension
than physical things, that spiritual, that transcendent,
experience.
Now tell me something, If you don't know
what it means to fall in love with
Layla, then how are you gonna know what
it means to love Allah?
How are you gonna know what it means
to love the messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam?
That they said that the beauty of Yusuf
alaihi wa sallam, he was so beautiful, the
women were taken by him that when they
saw him, they cut their hands. This one
has so his beauty is such that the
men are ready to have their throats cut
for his sake.
How are you gonna understand what that means
if you've never had this, if you never
experienced the the the ecstatic joy of this
this thing? It's actually literally, it's a deficiency
in in your humanity.
And,
you know, for that reason, a person should
look forward to this thing, should plan for
it, should try to execute it in the
best way possible,
and that means practically a couple of things.
One thing that really breaks my heart to
admit is what I'm the first person. I'm
the first person. If I had a choice,
I would say haram, don't talk to a
girl, don't talk to a guy, haram, stuff
for I would I would say that.
Let your parents
fix it up for you, match it up
for you. The fact of the matter is
that the age we live in, I've seen
this. The parents that are in Cairo and
in Damascus and in Karachi and in Delhi
and in Kabul and these places are not
able to find suitable matches for their children.
What are you gonna do in, like, whatever
share in Ohio?
Right?
What ends up happening is kind of a
farce. Usually people from very conservative families, they'll
find someone that they wanna marry and then
they'll tell their parents. And after a brief
period of intense consternation,
they'll now say, okay. Fine. Let the boy
come and his family come to my house
and they'll go through this, like, dramatic
Kabuki theater of, like, making it look like
a arranged marriage, and then they'll get married.
Whatever. I like, without comment, to any of
those things. If you find somebody that you
want to marry, okay,
get your brothers, get your act together.
You gotta think. Her her pops is gonna
ask me how are you gonna pay the
rent? You should have a plan.
If you don't have a plan, you should
get to the point where you have a
plan.
There's a zero step that has to happen
before you can even get to that point,
which is what? If you're a male above
the age of 14,
treat it as if it's haram to ask
your parents for money.
Treat it as if haram to ask anyone
for money ever.
Someone's like, well, sheikh, I can't go to
college if my father doesn't pay my tuition.
Okay, faas.
Don't ask for a cent more than that.
Work do work something in in exchange for
it.
Don't throw a fit when your father says
no. He didn't he doesn't owe you anything.
And now you're an adult. You're a grown
man. You're a grown blank man.
Right?
You should be giving back at this point.
This is one thing I really lament. You
know how some people, they'll, like, they'll everything
in their life, they'll eat the machine slaughtered
chicken without blinking an eye when it comes
to the
they flip out and become police or whatever.
Right? Everyone, whenever you talk about whenever you
talk about the the
the the the cultural legacy of this civilization,
right, the of the
It's written in Persian, everyone's like,
right?
Was from Nishapur. He was considered from the
ulama of Nishapur. You know who else is
from Nishapur?
Imam Muslim.
You don't become a a a considered an
alim in a place like that by being
a good speaker. Like, if you haven't memorized
more books than, man can carry, you're not
even, like nobody's even gonna, like, allow you
to give the Jumahutba in in those places.
Right?
So Atar has his
he mentions all of these things, that if
you're a man, one of the things he
might never ask anything from anyone. Right? Hadith
of the prophet that you know, Hakim Al
Hizam, he said that ever since the prophet
told us not to ask, so even the
the the the leather strap for a for
a sandal, I never asked from somebody.
Right?
Okay. First that, then you have to have
a plan. Like, her father is gonna ask
me, like, how are you gonna take care
of my daughter? You have to have a
plan. Okay? You may not be able to
put her in, like, a palace,
but you have to have a plan. How
are you gonna pay rent,
gas? How is she gonna continue her school
if she's still in school? How are you
going to, like, continue your school if you're
still in school? I'm not saying that you
have to, like, wait till you're, like, a
doctor and have a house bought before you
can get married. Find a class. You wanna
get married when you're a student. You wanna
get married when you're in high school. You
wanna get married when you're in middle school.
If you don't have a plan, no one's
gonna say yes.
Right?
So you have to have you have to
have a plan that you and your your
your family can show face in front of
her father and and make a a proposal.
At that point at that point, if they
say no,
is your life over?
It's probably gonna feel like it's over, I'll
be honest with you. But is it really
over?
No.
Many people will not go and ask why
because they're abject fear, cowardice of being rejected.
You know, if they say, no, it's not
like you went and robbed a liquor store.
If they say, no, it's not like you
exposed your nakedness in front of everybody in
public and like ran around screaming.
Those are shameful things.
I apologize. Please forgive me for, like, these
aesthetically unpleasing examples. Unfortunately,
oftentimes, they're necessary in order to drive a
point home. You didn't do that.
You did something noble. You did something honorable.
All of the reward for the life you
would have lived together, for the children you
would have had together, for the the the
benefits in your deen and her deen that
you intended by going to her father's house
and subjecting yourself, and, opening yourself up to
be hurt like you just were hurt. Right?
All of that. Right? You get the reward
for it. Why? Because your intention was good,
and who knows? You know? Maybe there's Maybe
it wasn't a good thing for you to
marry this one, but because you went through
that for the sake of Allah, ta'ala, Allah
lead you to the, to the house that
that that that you belong, your marriage proposal
belongs in. And you yourself will later realize,
alhamdulillah, Allah saved me from it because she
turned out to be some sort of, like,
a homicidal axe murderer that, like, you know,
whatever stomped out like small animals. You know,
like, I don't know. Right?
So the point is is this is that
but you have to you have to get
you have to get to that that point.
For the for for the the sisters also,
you also have to,
you know, see that that person who comes
to your, to comes to you and talks
to you about deen, that that person is
serious. Part of it, we mentioned the financial
intelligence about paying rent. Part of it is
the deenie intelligence about about
what you call, about,
praying 5 times a day and fasting and
observing at least a minimal modicum of Islam.
And after that, know that Islam is many
things. The of Islam is one module of
it.
Right? Fasting, praying, and things like that. That's
not all what Islam what Islam is. It's
a module of Islam. It's an important one,
but it is a module of Islam. Another
module of Islam is the aqaida of a
person. Another module of Islam is their Muamalat.
You know, if they're praying 5 times a
day and, like, finishing Quran every other night,
but their, you know, income is from, like,
running a liquor store, then their muamalat are
not clean. Right? That's another module of Islam
you have to look at. Right? What is
another module of Islam? Right? Like, what does
it mean? Right? They could be, like, have
a wonderful beard and pray real good and,
you know, like, they're, like, whatever halal income,
but, like, you know, they take their deen
from the teachings of the honorable and our
honorable Elijah Muhammad and, like, master master fraud
and all this other stuff. Like, it's not
fair it's not
dead on arrival. Completely dead on arrival.
Right? Has nothing to do with the skin
color or whatever. It has to do with
the facade of the. Right? And then what
what is the next module of? A person,
a person's.
Right? What is the state of their heart?
Do they do what they do out of
the fear of Allah?
Admittedly, this is more difficult to tell, but
you should also think about it. What is
the state of their heart? That do they
worship Allah because it's what everyone else is
doing? It is but do they actually have
inside of their heart a love for the,
for Allah
And what's the what's the the the 5th
module that I wanted to,
mention? Is there
How are they this this this this is
deen. We're talking about deen right now. We're
not talking about dunya yet. Okay? Their How
is that person with their mother? How are
they with their father? How are they with
their brothers and sisters? How are they with
their, nieces and nephews? How are they with
their elders? How are they with their youngers?
How are are they able to, like, you
know, these social relationships, some of which are
hierarchical, some of which are egalitarian, are they
able to,
maintain them properly? This is also part of
the dean.
So, yes, you have to, like, look at
the person's dean. Is it is it good
enough? You have to look at can they
pay,
the, you know, whatever expenses involved in sustaining
a wife properly.
On top of that, are they how invested
are they in you?
If I'm if if a a boy is
not willing to take a marriage proposal to
your
father,
then
they're not willing to invest. Why? Because they're
more afraid of
saving their own skin from rejection
than they are in treating you with honor.
Why should they treat you with honor? You're
after all the mother of their children. They're
just humiliating their own children. If the point
of having this guy around from a very
zoological perspective is that they help you rear
your offspring, well, they just failed.
Okay? So many,
you know, we were in love and he
loved me and his sister messed the whole
thing up.
And I'm like, look.
If he can't if he if he doesn't
love you enough to defend you from his
sister,
right,
he doesn't really love you as much as
you think he does.
Okay?
He has to be willing to invest invest
something, throw some skin in the game, you
know, take take some harm in order to
protect you. If he can't do that, then
he's not I mean, he he may be
good for the, like, okay. If we marry,
it's halal for us to do it. But
all the other benefits we talked about, none
of them are gonna be there. That's even
gonna be ruined later on when you realize
that he doesn't have any any,
responsibility toward you. Right? What what what what
does it mean? Right? What does it mean?
And this is for both men and women,
but generally speaking, the women should be a
little bit more cautious about this.
This is the last thing I wanna say
before opening up and, opening up for questions
and answers. And I apologize for having gone
on longer than I intended to speak, which
is that once you find the person that
you wish to marry, the 2 of you
agree with one another,
that you wish to marry and that, you
know, there's some understanding, it looks like this
thing is going to happen. Okay? There's a
there's a there's a type of,
I'll use the word magic.
Why? Because it it could be a spiritually
good thing, but it doesn't need to be.
Okay? There's a type of magic between a
man and a woman.
Right? When they have a relationship with one
another,
there is something much of which has to
do with, like, neuro stuff, but some of
which is spiritual as well. And spiritual doesn't
mean good or bad. Spiritual is what it
is. Just like physical doesn't mean good or
bad. If you do something good physically, it's
good, and if you do something bad, it's
bad. Right? Hitler was a very spiritual person.
The guy went on, like, tirades for, like,
mesmerizing tirades for hours at a time. People
were spiritually drawn in,
by him as if he's like Dajjal Shaitan
himself, you know, and they would, like, go
on these tirades without a blink. It was
very spiritual. You can't do that without having
some sort of spiritual power and charisma, but
it was evil.
Right? So, yes, there's something spiritual about the
the magic between a man and a woman.
Okay? How do you make that magic,
Mubarak
and blessed by the Lord? And how do
you how do you waste it away?
You make it Mubarak by saving it for
when Allah is pleased with you. Because when
a husband and wife love each other and
are happy with each other, Allah ta'ala is
the third one who's happy with
with them. And if you are just boyfriend
girlfriend and being engaged as boyfriend girlfriend.
Until your has done, it's that that's all
it is. Okay?
If you spend that time, you chat each
other up, emoji each other up for hours
of the day and night so magically. Right?
And you talk to each other and you
compliment her and she compliments you and you
buy things for her and she buys things
for you and you do things for her
and she does things for you, etcetera, etcetera.
If you do that and you're not married,
then
the best case scenario is you wasted it
and it's gone now.
Whereas if you invested it in the halal,
waited until after you were married,
then this not only becomes enjoyment in your
dunya,
it also becomes
act of piety,
that that will be saved for you to
be rewarded in the.
And if you're married, if you make it
through this life without
times, you know, that he forgot your anniversary
or that all of the times that she
invited her, like, annoying sister over and you
were just trying to sleep or whatever. Like,
whatever things that happened, you'll Allah will cause
you to, like like, get over all of
that, you know, on that time and you'll
be together forever.
You miss that. You miss that if you
if you,
if you
wasted away.
If the sisters weren't here, I would use
more district descriptive adjectives, but there is something
called
chivalry that a person should try to behave
a little bit. I know I'm not doing
a great job at it, but, like, you
know, you should try to behave a little
bit and speak differently when their sister is
present.
But the point is is that that that
what is that if you wasted away, you
wasted something you'll never be able to retrieve,
you'll never be able to get back. One
of the tragedies of Kufr
is that what ends up happening is that
this process, this magical process of a man
and woman falling in love with each other,
this is very much part of the one
man, one woman, or at least, like, one
man limited number of women,
model that human beings are differentiated
with by from
from the other animals.
Right? And people who come in zenith their
whole life, what ends up happening is the
magic of it goes away.
Right? The oxytocin rush of making love with
the person that you actually love, like, by
the like, what our 27th partner or something
like that. It's just not there anymore. Like,
it's gone. Or it's so, like, really stunted
and mitigated. It's like a part of your
your humanity you're not gonna be able to
retrieve.
You can ask Allah to forgive you and
help you, and definitely,
if you make a sincere repentance, he will
give you something in its stead on on
the day of judgment, but in this world,
you're probably not gonna get it back.
Right? You don't want to you don't wanna,
you don't wanna waste it away,
when even if it's not in a haram
way, you don't wanna waste it away in
a way that's not spiritually,
beneficial
to you.
This being said,
generally speaking, although it does happen the other
way other way around sometimes,
boys will lead you on and they'll try
to have this enjoyment with you without actually
having spoken to your father and without actually
having, like, had a and all this other
stuff. And when it's time to bounce, trust
me, they're gonna bounce.
So don't give this thing to them. If
you gave it away, that was a choice
on your on your part. You know? If
you realize later on that it was a
mistake, then don't make the mistake again. And
if you make toobah Allah forgive you and
stuff like that, this is this is your
your choice. Why? Because
for zoological reasons we mentioned from before, men,
it's very easy for them to do this,
catch and release, type of model,
which is dehumanizing for them as well, but
the consequences will be more pronounced on the
day of judgment than they will be in
this world. So if a man is not
actually willing to talk to your father, if
he's not actually willing to behave behave with
you in such a way that he doesn't,
like, have to run away from your brothers
because of, like,
threats of physical violence and shame and things
like that,
No matter how much he pretends like he
loves you and how much his eyes are
like, you know, puppy dog eyes and all
this other nonsense,
it's not. I I swear to you, there's
no benefit in it. There's no in it.
There's no benefit in it. May Allah
find for all of you
good uprights upright and pious spouses that will
be your protection for each other in this
world and in the hereafter,
and that you eat halal.
You skip the machine slaughtered chicken and you
eat halal and you,
eyes look at the halal
and your ears listen to the halal, and
you,
you know, your love that you share with
one another, feel free never to talk about
it with anyone else
because gross and, like, don't. But whatever it
is
that nobody else ever finds out about, that
it should be halal, it should be good,
and it should be joy, it should be
happiness. And one day, it culminates in what
that you say whisper to each other softly
in each other's ears.
And that the be filled with with those
children that grow up that will redeem it
from the morass of garbage it's come into.
And that there be those people from that
that they do the good deeds, you'll be
in your grave. You guys are part of
the problem, not part of the solution. Right?
You know what I mean? But they'll they'll
fix it. Why? Because you initiated, you put
the seed into the into the ground metaphorically
and literally
for, for what? For that solution to happen.
You'll be in your grave, they'll do good
deeds, it will keep running on your record.
And it will be something that is a
source of pride for all of us in
this world and in the hereafter. On the
day of judgment, it will be a source
of pride for all of us in this
world and the hereafter.
That you live a
you live happily,
and, in this world with honor and with
dignity for the number of days Allah has
written for you, and then you live happily
with dignity forever in the hereafter.
Isn't it so much better than swiping left
and swiping right and all this other nonsense?
Shaitan makes it look so elegant and whatever.
The fact of the matter is if you
were to, on a Friday night, get dressed
up and do your hair and do your,
whatever and iron your clothes and makeup and,
you know, whatever shoes and go to a
club and wait in line and whatever and
spend a $100 on drinks and dance the
whole night. What are you gonna do at
the end of it? It's, like, completely, Shaytan
shows something that you think, oh, look, there's
so much glamour and so much,
enjoyment in it, and it's all a mirage.
There's even the one thing you wanted out
of it, you're not gonna get it. Or
it will be of such sub quality, go
look outside. This is not a nice thing
to say in public.
Go look outside from the the children of
Kufr. May Allah
protect us from them,
And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala redeem them
as well
from the mistakes of their forefathers.
That those children that you know, the people
outside right now that are doing all these
crazy things, you know, that are, like, whatever
rallies, chanting, lock her up, and all this
other nonsense. Right? How many of them their
parents read the Dua before when they're conceived,
and how many of them their parents were
drunk?
Don't think you're better than them. Allah can
you know, arrogance is worse than being conceived
while drunk.
But, you know,
you need you know, think about it that
that this is your goal that you will
somehow
receive this gift from Allah
through using the the means that are clean
and that are pure. And Allah
will make it goodness for you and for
them as well. They'll all benefit from it.
Allah ta'ala give all of us, the tawfiq,
to make it happen.