Hamza Yusuf – The End To Hitting Women What The QurAn Say On Domestic Violence
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the use of "beating" in Arabic and the importance of men being held accountable for their actions. They also touch on the negative impact of domestic violence on women, including domestic violence and domestic abuse, and the quote from the Prophet about cutting a hole in a woman. The speakers suggest that conflict can lead to a renewed life and that men should consider their women as partners.
AI: Summary ©
Now getting into what's known as Rakalka trance
or Nushuz.
Rakalka trance is obstinate disobedience that in Arabic
comes from a root word Nashuzat which means
to rise up and a man can be
Nashuz in relation to his wife and a
wife can be Nashuz in relation to her
husband.
So it goes both ways.
The Quran mentions both types of Nushuz.
The Nushuz from the husband to the wife
and vice versa.
So According to Tajr Arus, Nashuz means a
woman who is disobedient to her husband and
exalting herself against him and hating him and
deserting him.
So it's a strong thing.
It's not a little thing.
According to Imam Firuz Ibadi, it can apply
to both men and women.
He says it means quote her husband treated
her injuriously and was unkind to her or
estranged himself from her.
So those are those are that's what Nushuz
means.
There's some type of harm happening in the
relationship.
And when Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala you know
says that men are maintainers of women.
Due to some things that Allah has preferred
some over others will be and because they
have the obligation of supporting them with their
wealth.
So Sarihat the the righteous women they are
virtuous women and they're Qanitat which means obedient
to Allah.
So they obey their husbands and things that
Allah has commanded them to obey their husbands
in.
They don't have to obey their husbands in
anything that Allah has not commanded to obey
their husbands in.
In the same way that a man must
be obedient to his responsibilities as well to
the woman.
So if a man he has to be
kind to the woman.
He has to treat her well.
He has to clothe her.
He has to and if he's not it's
disobedience to Allah.
So this is about disobedience to Allah subhanahu
wa'ta'ala.
It's not about positions of power and subordination
and people should understand that because this is
really misunderstood and misinterpreted.
And then Allah says wa laati takhafuna nushuzuhuna
and those who have gone into a state
even though it says that you have fear
of their nushuz.
It means that they've gone into this state
of recalcitrance that in that case fa'idhuhuna
admonish them.
Talk to them.
So this is the first stage of speaking
to them about this that this is a
haqq It's it's a right.
It's not about things that there's no right
because a woman cannot be Nash's in things
that the husband has no right over.
This is really important.
That's why women have to know their rights
and responsibilities.
Men need to know their rights and responsibilities
and then you can understand when there's disobedience.
So wahduruhuna fil mubajia and then if that
does not have an effect then don't sleep
with them.
That's the next stage and then if that
does not have an effect wahduruhuna then discipline
them and barb in Arabic generally means to
strike and that's why if it says beating
is wrong that is a wrong translation.
It does not say beat your women.
It just doesn't say that but having said
that I think the best commentator on this
that I've seen I want to read this
because I think it's really important especially now
because there's so much about this here.
Qadi al-Bakr ibn al-Arabi commenting on
these verses says it is confirmed that the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Oh humanity
know that your women have responsibilities towards you
and you have responsibilities towards them Your rights
are that they not associate with people you
dislike and they do not display any clearly
outrageous behavior fahisha Indeed should they do that
then Allah has permitted you to abandon their
beds and to strike them lightly causing no
visible signs I mean that's in the hadith
Should they desist then you must support them
and clothe them with kindness in this This
is Qadi al-Bakr in this is a
clear proof that maintenance is not a right
of a recalcitrant woman So if a woman's
in the shoes, she's not You know, you
don't have to maintain her materially Moreover, the
meaning of clearly outrageous behavior is verbal abuse
and not fornication in this instant So it's
somebody who's being verbally abusive Which goes both
ways, I mean verbal abuse is unacceptable.
I mean look at the Quran It says
to say to Pharaoh speak gently to Pharaoh.
I mean, what does that mean about your
wife or your husband, right?
Is that what Allah says about Pharaoh who
claimed to be God?
I mean What does it say about the
person you live with and are supposed to
be caring about and loving and that's one
of the major Reasons for marital problems is
verbal abuse and that's a mental cruelty They
call it in in American culture It's grounds
for divorce because people really can be harmed
by and it's haram.
It is haram to do that Now in
this the Prophet peace be upon him also
explains striking Mentioned in the Quran as that
which leaves no visible effects and no traces
upon her body Right.
However now listen to this very clue However,
I thought said he should never hit her
even if he tells her to do or
not do something and she disobeys Rather it
means he should display anger toward her Now
I'll pause a student of it, but I'm
bass, but I'll be lining now Listen, what
probably I will book it up and I
already says this is from the deep understanding
of Ata Because of his penetrating comprehension of
the sacred law and its purposes in terms
of knowing where the locations of juristic reasoning
lie He realized that the imperative case here
is used to mean permissibility and not an
injunction He also determined it is detested makruh
from another source Which is the Hadith of
Abdullah bin Sam'a in which the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said I detest that
a man should strike his wife When he
becomes angry, maybe he would want to sleep
with her later in the day So in
other words, it's not conducive to a good
relationship To intimacy and things like that.
So I cut a hole and y'all
better but Roger I met him So when
the Prophet said I cut a hole it
was saying that it's my crew To even
do that without leaving a trace So it's
not a prophetic Sunnah and there's nothing encouraged
about it, but it certainly does not mean
domestic violence That is haram by consensus It
is haram to harm a person physically by
consensus unless you have a hud punishment Right
or a ta'zeer of a qadi.
Other than that.
Nobody has the right to physically abuse another
human being Right with a child you can
discipline them lightly also Also Imam Marik radiallahu
anhu Related a hadith in which the Prophet
somebody asked the Prophet permission to strike a
disobedient wife and he replied strike But the
best of you would never strike a woman
So the Prophet said that because the Quran
says it and I want you to remember
this that the the verse came down when
the Prophet was taking a woman to go
beat her husband because the husband had had
hit her and He wanted to get his
sauce now the verse was revealed on the
way to this man's house and part of
the reason that that came to the Prophet
is because the Prophet in his Absolute fairness
of wanting things to be fair and equal
He was going to allow a woman to
go beat her husband now if you understand
the Arabs You would understand what that would
mean To them at that time in particular,
but even now because the Arabs there's just
a lot of pride in Arabic nature I
mean most people have pride but some people
have It can be overweening pride and this
is one of the diseases of the Arab
People before Islam was Tafakkur and this kibber
and he's saying Islam came to really remove
this from their hearts.
So Had that happened?
They there would have been people that probably
leave Islam Because I mean they were being
told not to beat their animals if it's
haram to beat an animal I mean, how
can you beat a human being?
Now the beautiful thing that Ibn Ashur said
that the verses actually came to remove Domestic
violence because what he said is that he
said that people abuse in fits of anger
That's when people are violent when they get
angry and he said that this verse is
telling people don't do that to stop and
Admonish and he said if they do that,
they won't ever get to the anger because
it's disciplining their own souls Dealing with that.
So this is a problematic verse.
It will continue to be problematic.
It's as simple as that I mean it
is a problematic verse in the Quran.
It was for the commentators then and Particularly
in the in, you know the present environment,
but it is absolutely necessary that everybody understands
that it is prohibited to beat Anybody in
your household?
It's just simply it's haram It's as simple
as that and it should not be seen
in any other way this type of disciplining
I mean some people can say you see
it in these old 1930s films Where somebody's
going on and on they're screaming and something
like that and then you know, the woman
will hit him or she'll hit her like
a strike and then they kind of Calm
down and in some ways it's like that
It's like, you know, somebody can get into
a hysterical state and if you just kind
of hit them like that you know snap
to it it kind of brings them back
into their bodies and I think a lot
of it is is probably related to that
You know, it would be just something like
just to kind of come to it, you
know snap to it If somebody's in a
hysterical type of state, it wouldn't be more
than that so and I think that goes
both ways, but generally that's I Hope everybody
understands that because it's it's really important now
I want to say that there's an interesting
fourth verbal form of the same root nesha's
that which is and says that which means
to restore life Right, so sometimes in these
conflicts that happen in marriages a renewed type
of life can actually come out of it
Because these are tribulations that cause people to
actually grow so people can grow From conflict.
I mean conflict is one of the sources
that we learn from that We benefit from
so I think new shoes can become in
sheds It can cause people sometimes a husband
needs to reassess how he's treating his wife
because oftentimes a woman will behave that way
For other reasons, I mean these these can
be strategies because they're not getting enough attention
Because the husband is not spending time with
them There's a lot of things that can
be happening and so men need to look
at that and the same with a husband
towards the wife Sometimes we need to interpret
What people are saying because it not everybody
is at the level where they can just
come out and say what's in their heart?
They will sometimes give you Messages other ways
of doing that so there's going to be
conflict in life You know, it's not always
the best way to interpret these things negatively
but I would say a comprehensive definition of
new shoes is an Arrogant disobedience of a
woman towards her husband or a husband towards
his wife Which involves a gross neglect of
rights in the marriage that were previously mentioned
that I mean, that's new shoes There's a
gross neglect of rights It's not one time
it's not two times I mean we're dealing
with people are not fulfilling their rights and
you came into the marriage with a contract
Based on a Lana's messenger and that's how
you've married.
It's a contract with a Lana's messenger that
you're going to fulfill