Hamza Tzortzis – Leading in a Lost World medologyx Dinner Keynote Speech
AI: Summary ©
The segment discusses the importance of finding one's way of being in a lost world and finding oneself through the natural state of others. The speakers touch on the idea of " oneself" and the need to be a true leader. They stress the importance of protecting one's safety and well-being, as a driver for their success and achieving a noble vision. The shepherd is the leader who guides and nurtures their flock, and is the leader who is nurtured and advertised by the people. The importance of integrity and trust in leadership is emphasized, and advice is given on how to be courageous and not just for personal reasons. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of protecting one's safety and well-being in achieving a noble vision.
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem In alhamdulillah wa
salatu wa salamu ala rasulillah brothers and sisters
and friends Thank you for having me.
I greet you with the warmest Islamic greetings
of peace May God's peace be with you
all If only my wife was listening to
that introduction, maybe someone could send me the
recording now Now, leadership in a lost world
is a very important topic and one of
the main reasons that I got involved with
Medology is Because I met brother Amin and
I just saw the sincerity in his face
And I saw that he wanted to touch,
move and inspire people and build an empire
For the sake of God and not for
the sake of his ego or for the
sake of status or wealth Now you may
argue, Hamza, how do you recognize people in
that way?
Well, it's a hunch and I think we
all have it, right?
If you read the book, Blink There's an
interesting chapter towards the end that talks about
just reading faces.
It's called physiognomy, right?
It's like the study of physiology gaining knowledge
of someone through their facial expressions.
In actual fact, two key psychologists studied every
single muscle in the face and they correlated
subtleties and slight movements and shapes and facial
expressions even for a split moment to certain
personality traits And I think one of them
had like a 95% accuracy rate I'm
not saying I have that ability but I
have seen that in the brother and I
was really touched, moved and inspired because We
don't see this anymore.
We don't see true leadership.
Like frankly, let's be honest Let's just, you
know, a spade is a spade, right?
We just care about ourselves.
We have this individualistic, narcissistic perspective of ourselves
in our lives We project onto the world
and we forget the world and it's just
us.
In actual fact we think we are the
world and because of the crisis of modernity
It's really played with our ego, especially social
media, right?
It's all about me, my likes, my shares
My selfies, their empty face That is a
veil that we have to sometimes reflect and
remove to expose what's really going on, which
is a sense of emptiness We've lost that
groundedness and many thinkers have spoken about this
even the likes of the psychoanalyst Eric Fromm
when he makes a he makes a subtle
distinction between the way of having and the
way of being you also have the Korean
-born German philosopher Bjorn Hanchul He talks about
this in his Agony of Eros and many
other books, a phenomenal writer and philosopher And
he talks about because of this individualism, because
of this narcissism We have become narcissistic collectively
and he even argues we don't know how
to love anymore We don't even know how
to love anymore.
Why?
Because in order to live you need to
understand that there is an other, other than
you But because we're narcissistic we project ourselves
onto the beloved and we just end up
loving ourselves And this is why it's so,
I'm so touched, moved and inspired by Medology
In actual fact, just to be very authentic
with you I had to pinch myself on
my left calf and my right calf just
to stop crying because I get emotional sometimes
I'm actually quite moved that we have young
people in the United Kingdom Who are willing
to take true leadership and to understand that
leadership is not only Leading from the front,
leadership is not having a title It's a
way of being, as the famous thinker and
martial artist Bruce Lee said, to be is
to be related Who are you on a
desert island?
You know yourself through your relations You know
yourself through your relations because a way of
being is how you relate to yourself and
how you relate to others And that's why
in the Islamic tradition you find yourself through
relating to the one who created you There
is no find yourself in the book of
God You have that in self-help.
I'm gonna find myself, which I think is
complete nonsense because that is basically Contingent, dependent
on the ideology of the day In actual
fact, if you study social psychology, you're gonna
change based on social norms and social conventions
and the kind of vicissitudes of social expectations,
if you like.
The point is in the Islamic tradition you
want to find yourself, you relate to God
And that's why maybe God says do not
be like those who forgot God And then
God made them forget their own selves.
As God says remember me, remember God, I
Remember you.
So our sense of self is truly found
in Relating to the one who created us,
which is the greatest relationship.
Anyway, notwithstanding this I did put notes together
But I'm on a roll.
So Leading in a lost world.
Now, what do I mean by a lost
world?
Now, I want to refer to my dear
brothers and sisters Who I believe is the
greatest man to have walked this planet and
that is the Prophet Muhammad upon whom be
peace Michael Hart, he's a historian.
He wrote the book The Hundred, a ranking
of the most influential persons in history He
actually said that the Prophet Muhammad Peace and
blessings be upon him was the first, number
one.
Now many of you may be Muslim, may
be skeptical You may be sitting on the
fence.
You may be in the fence, may be
on the fence You may even think the
fence doesn't exist.
That's irrelevant.
I just want you not to believe in
what I'm saying Beliefs are not really important
at this stage.
I just want you to stand in the
possibility That what I'm saying may have value
You don't have to believe in it, you
don't have to put your flag down Just
stand in the possibility that some of the
principles I'm going to articulate some of the
things that I'm saying may be working, they
may work and They may be universal and
there may be some truth in them.
I'm not telling you believe in this I'm
telling you let's stand, let's stand in a
space and that space is It's possibly true,
it may possibly work.
If you stand in that space, I think
we're all gonna learn from each other God
-willing.
So What do I mean by a lost
world?
Now let's try and answer this question by
reflecting on a prophetic tradition of the Prophet
Muhammad upon whom be peace And I need
to listen very carefully because every time I
reflect on this tradition, it really gets me
The Prophet said upon whom be peace Two
hungry wolves Roaming freely among a flock of
sheep are less destructive to them Than the
greed of a man for wealth and high
status are to his religion So in essence
The excessive greed for status and wealth is
more damaging to one's faith than two free
Roaming wolves among sheep if you know anything
about sheep sheep and wolves if you have
two free roaming wolves among sheep It's a
massacre So what do we learn from this?
The first thing we learn is where is
the shepherd?
Where's the protector, where's the guide, where's the
nourisher, where is the shepherd in this discourse
number one?
Number two what we learn is this that
our faith and by extension our humanity and
why am I saying humanity?
Because in the Islamic spiritual tradition we believe
every single human being that was born if
you know If you're a child, you're a
baby you're born in a state of a
fitra in the Islamic tradition fitra means the
normative innate disposition the natural disposition so an
inclination towards the truth and inclination towards loving
God and worshiping him and affirming his oneness
is part of who we are and That's
why we argue when you find Islam, which
means submission to God Right you actually reveal
you and find your true self because it's
already been part of you We believe in
this natural state as the Quran says in
chapter 30 verse 30 Adhere to the natural
way of God that he has created all
human beings So our faith and by extension
our humanity can be severely destroyed by status
and wealth Now although status and wealth can
be used as virtues as good things, but
unfortunately because we give them intrinsic value They
become ends in themselves.
They become very destructive because for wealth and
status to be The antithesis of destruction to
be constructive to be positive What do you
have to do you have to use them
as instruments as means to a noble end?
but because of this neo-capitalistic neo-individualistic
neoliberal culture that we all live in the
primacy of the self the Individual the ego
the celebration of the ego, right?
What happens is that we now give wealth
and status Intrinsic value as Eric from toxic
talks about it's a way of having you
you define yourself by your possessions in actual
fact You depend on them.
They're like crutches and you walk on them,
right?
But if you lose those crutches, you're really
a cripple a spiritual and existential cripple But
you need to have a way of being
that can use these possessions in a way
that is good That is active.
He talks about that the active being The
point here is status and wealth if they're
given intrinsic value and their ends are not
means can be destructive and especially in modernity
and From this perspective This is all facilitated
by the ego because in many traditions whether
you believe in a secular tradition or a
spiritual tradition There is a universal truth, which
is the enemy is the enemy The enemy
is the real enemy the ego is the
barrier to unity is a barrier to success
It's a barrier to having a lofty vision.
It's a barrier to Connecting with other human
beings is a barrier to relationships, you know,
many people rather be right than to be
loved Right.
I want to be right.
I never want to be wrong right this
kind of ego centric egotistical attitude the enemy
can be the greatest enemy and This is
why this whole kind of status and wealth
and giving intrinsic value facilitates the ego.
So what is the ego I Want to
be right?
I never want to be wrong.
I Want to look good.
I never want to look bad.
I Always want to impose I don't want
to impose upon to the degree that I
give up the truth and the right way
of being Which echoes a prophetic tradition where
the Prophet Muhammad upon whom be peace said
that kibber arrogance is Rejecting the truth and
thinking you're better than others so from this
perspective modernity giving the excessiveness to wealth and
status and giving intrinsic value and this you
know exacerbating the ego Based on this kind
of modernity paradigm.
We've lost our way We have lost our
way and This is why we need To
have the shepherd remember we spoke about the
two free-roaming wolves among sheep We need
to have the shepherd.
We need to have the shepherd leader We
need to have Leadership and one way of
dealing with the ego dealing with the excessive
greed for wealth and status and all of
these things is to have Constructive and love
service leadership, which I believe was the leadership
style of the Prophet Muhammad upon who be
peace Now before I get into that and
just discuss another prophetic insight concerning leadership and
being a shepherd I think it's important just
to focus a little bit on the whole
idea that when we treat Status and wealth
as ends and not as means so we
don't treat them as a means for greater
good We end up infecting ourselves with the
perennial timeless spiritual diseases in the Islamic tradition
the four key spiritual diseases, or if you're
not spiritually inclined the Psychological diseases are what
number one arrogance number two ostentation showing off
number three Blameworthy jealousy.
I want what he wants.
I'm on what she wants and I don't
want them to have it and Number four
self amazement.
Do you think you are the cause for
everything?
You don't understand that the very fact that
you are successful or the very fact that
you have any position or ability in life
is because of almost an infinite number of
variables outside of Your control and now you
think you were catapulted out of your mother's
womb with a briefcase and a tie This
is self amazement.
It's all me.
I did it I became a CEO because
it's me.
I wrote a book because it's me total
and utter nonsense Even if you study your
own biology the biological mechanisms your own mind
your own consciousness What is happening within your
own heartbeats?
even the card neurocardiology the 40,000 neurons
that you're not even controlling in your own
heart that communicate with the brain and sometimes
even ignore the brain When you study your
biology, you know, you're not in control You
are simply not in control.
It's an illusion Yes, we have some part
to play But the very fact that you're
here that you lived in the UK that
you had Lived in the Western world that
you had the money in the ability the
education system You had the nurses the doctors
the engineers you had the road you had
the system You had all of these things
in place.
You were actually dependent on those things Let's
think about when you were born my dear
brothers.
This is a friends.
You couldn't feed yourself You could even wipe
your own posterior you live a child a
baby in the corner of a room for
even two weeks I don't touch it.
It will die.
And now you think you have this Individualism
this neoliberal me myself and I it's all
about me the primacy of the self.
I am King complete nonsense delusion absolute delusion
We are dependent on other people.
We can't have this self amazement any of
my successes is because of External factors and
all of those external factors according to the
Islamic tradition are Dependent utterly on a summit
the absolutely independent God himself so these are
spiritual diseases which are facilitated by giving wealth
and status intrinsic value and They shape our
way of being and the your way of
being is how you relate to the world
and it makes us become lost Spiritually lost
philosophically and we don't know how to lead
properly we become lost sheep But we all
we all can become shepherds We can all
save the sheep from the two free-roaming
wolves.
We can save them by taking responsibility The
prophet Muhammad upon whom be peace said Every
one of you is a shepherd and is
responsible for his flock The leader of people
is a guardian and is responsible for his
subjects a man is the guardian of his
family He's responsible for them A woman is
the guardian of her husband's home and his
children and she is responsible for them The
servant of a man is a guardian of
the property of his master and he is
responsible for it.
No doubt Every one of you is a
shepherd and is responsible for his flock Every
single one of us is a leader.
You do not need a title It's a
way of being if you're responsible over anything
including yourself You have a lead and interestingly
in this prophetic tradition.
The Arabic words are used are couldn't look
on the right in couldn't look on the
right in Everyone is a leader a shepherd
and interestingly the Arabic root if you like
linguistics If you're not linguistically inclined you could
ignore it for a few moments But the
Arabic root for the word shepherd comes from
a raw and yeah, and it has the
following meanings shepherd to shepherd to God to
watch over to Observe to be a guardian
to manage to abide to heed advice and
to mend One mend one's ways and this
is used in the Quranic discourse, you know
in the book of God chapter 57 verse
27 chapter 23 and verse 8 So let's
go now to a shepherd right so everyone
is a shepherd Aaron has responsibility So let's
focus on what the key aspects of a
shepherd.
I think there are six number one the
shepherd guides Number two the shepherd protects number
three the shepherd unites Number four the shepherd
nurtures and nourishes number five the shepherd serves
Number six the shepherd leads before we unpack
these aspects It's very important that underlying these
Aspects of being a true leader of being
a true shepherd is number one having loving
mercy for people having loving mercy for your
flock being Committed to the well-being of
your flock being committed to the well-being
of your people This is what love means
love means that you're committed to the other
with their own Individuality you want the optimal
version of that person sincerely you don't have
any skin in the game You're not using
them as an instrument as a means to
an end.
You are valuing valuing them Intrinsically and by
the way, let's be honest many of our
friendships are not true loving friendships We just
use people, you know, he may be handsome.
So I'm likely to get a Beautiful girl
she may be rich So I'm a likely
to get expensive dinners and an expensive holidays
And he's got like God knows how many
likes and shares on his YouTube channel Mr.
Wilf may God bless him You know, we
use people as instruments We don't give them
intrinsic value because we we we become very
capitalistic when it comes to our friendships But
in leadership, you can't be like that You
have to know as the Prophet Muhammad taught
us upon whom be peace and the Quran
that human beings have this intrinsic value Allah
says he's given dignity to the son of
Adam to human beings.
We've been dignified We have this fit for
this innate disposition with this potential to reveal
the truth within and we have to Acknowledge
that and we have to understand that if
you want to truly be someone who is
loving Then you have to be committed to
the goodness and guidance of all people The
Prophet Muhammad upon whom be peace said in
a narration that is narrated by Bukhari in
Tarikh al-Kabir Love for people what you
love for yourself The Arabic is Linness for
the people love for the people what you
love for yourself Allah God himself describes the
Prophet Muhammad upon whom be peace as a
loving mercy to the world to humanity He's
a Rahma.
Rahma doesn't mean mercy means loving mercy because
of Rahameen the root word Which also connects
to the idea of the womb the mother
loves the baby before the baby is even
born And you remember the prophetic tradition the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said upon him be
peace that God has more Arham more loving
mercy for you then a mother has for
her child So we have to have this
loving mercy But you have to be committed
to people's well-being Even if it means
that sacrifices you have to be committed to
this identity if you want to be a
true leader I am committed to your well
-being and wallahi by God if you connect
to people in this way They'll be hardly
in ego.
You have great relationships.
You have great leadership.
They'll know that you have their back There's
no hidden agenda.
You'd be an authentic human being meaning you
don't have any undeclared negative intentions Because I've
already declared to my people as a shepherd
as a leader.
I'm not gaining anything from this I am
from the divine because I'm doing it for
his sake But I am committed to your
well-being even if it means that I
have to take a thousand bullets That's leadership.
That is being a true shepherd So that's
one very important thing that we have to
have The second thing we have to understand
that there is no room for the ego.
There's no room for I want to be
right I never want to be wrong.
I want to look good.
I never want to look bad.
I want to impose I never want to
impose upon to the degree that you give
up the right way of being to the
degree That you reject the truth because remember
leadership is you have to have a goal
You have to have a vision a noble
lofty goal that you can't achieve on your
own You need people around you the ego
becomes a barrier to the essential relationships to
facilitate that goal The ego becomes a barrier
to the goal itself.
The ego becomes a barrier to good leadership
and That's why you know many thinkers and
there's one Scholar His name is Sheikh Yawar
Baig.
He wrote about prophetic leadership He said for
the leader it is essential to always keep
the goal in sight and be willing to
make everything especially his own ego Subservient to
the accomplishment of the goal.
So let's unpack Being a shepherd.
The first one was who remembers?
guide he guides How does he guide how
does she guide that you have a noble
godly goal You see into the future.
You see the world in a particular way
that is noble and connected to godly pleasure
To the divine pleasure.
It's a noble goal In other words is
good centric and that makes it meaningful and
moral and what a leader does he guides
them towards that goal and He guides them
through principles of success Principles of righteousness which
we're gonna unpack number two the shepherd protects
How does the shepherd protect?
How does the leader protect a leader protects
by implementing and Identifying the key principles which
we're going to discuss to ensure that there
is an ethical open carry caring hard-working
environment with people of integrity and You protect
the flock from your own ego and other
people's egos, which we just discussed and You
focus on the noble vision achieving it and
the people's well-being Because you cannot achieve
this on your own and in order to
protect you have to have courage you have
to take risks and The way to help
you develop courage and risks you have to
focus not on the action But on your
way of being because how you become is
The way you're going to overcome The way
you relate to yourself with others is going
to be extremely helpful to do the necessary
actions to overcome Any fear and trials and
tribulations don't just focus on the action number
two focus on your leadership identity Why are
you leading in the first place?
It's for that noble goal is to protect
people to take them on to that journey
to uplift them to unveil their blind spots
To show that they become optimal versions of
themselves that they work collectively to achieve that
noble goal And I know as a leader,
I have to be courageous.
So identify with the fact that you have
to be courageous And then once you identify
that way it will naturally happen The other
thing to understand is read about courage read
about stories of intellectual physical or leadership type
of bravery Because that would inspire within you
Similar things because if a human being can
bench press 100 kilos and they have two
arms and two legs and you have two
arms Two legs you like what if they
could do it, I could do it, too
Also be around courageous people and this is
a very important principle because states of being
Give rise to states of being if your
people Passionate with if you're around passionate people
you're likely to be passionate if you with
loving people You're likely to be loving if
you with people with certainty You're likely to
have certainty if you people who are caring
you're likely to be carrying If you're people
people if you with people are brave You're
likely to be brave and understand what is
this?
What are the consequences of succumbing to your
fears or to these obstacles?
Because the pain of not doing anything, of
not being courageous in the long term is
usually more than the pain of being courageous.
So do it anyway.
The third point, the shepherd unites, unites the
flock, right?
Similarly, leaders unite.
We cannot achieve things on our own.
I mentioned this in the beginning.
Your success, my success, is not really truly
my success or your success.
Technically, it's our success.
Because the very fact that you could be
a doctor or an engineer or a businessman
is that there were like almost an infinite
number of variables that you had to be
dependent upon in order for you to achieve
what you achieved.
Now it makes even more sense if you're
part of a team that's trying to achieve
a noble, lofty goal.
You have to unite and come together.
So leaders must create a culture of internal
and external unity.
What does internal unity mean?
Internal unity means the team and the entire
organization.
External unity means that you realize that the
noble vision is bigger than the organization.
And the organization is bigger than the individual.
Sometimes we make a mistake that we think
that our vision is the same as the
organization.
No.
That may mean that your vision is very
small.
But if it's a big, lofty vision, like
you see a world that people have well
-being, which is really the short translation of
Modology's vision.
I see a world that people have well
-being.
You think Modology can do it themselves?
Of course not.
So if you're sincere to this noble, God
-centric goal, you would work with other people.
You'd have that external unity.
And that's why vision supremacy leads to external
unity and it leads to actually facilitating and
achieving the vision.
Number four, the shepherd nurtures and nourishes.
We need to nurture and nourish our flock
as well.
How?
The emotional, psychological, and physical well-being should
be your concern.
You have to help them achieve this well
-being by what?
By mentoring them.
And this is a very important leadership principle.
How do you mentor people so they could
achieve well-being?
Number one, you have to be sincere to
them.
Number two, you have to believe that there
is an optimal version of that person.
And that's a fact.
Because look at you today and look at
you 10 years ago.
Big difference.
There are things that you could achieve now
that you couldn't achieve 10 years ago.
Proof is, and by protraction, everyone is very
similar.
So they have great potential.
Number three, you want to love them from
the perspective that you want them to achieve
the optimal version of themselves.
And the way to do that is to
relate to them, to create from them.
How you relate is what you create.
How you relate is what you create.
If I don't know this brother from Adam,
but if I meet this brother and I'm
sincere to him as a human being, and
I believe he has this amazing potential, and
I'm seeking ways for him to achieve that
potential, and I'm acting verbally and through my
body language in such a way so he
does achieve that potential, even through interaction, you're
going to get the best version of him.
And this is the methodology of the Prophet
Muhammad ﷺ.
Fudala ibn Umair was someone who nominally became
a Muslim, nominally became a submitter to the
divine.
He was circumambulating the Kaaba.
And he wanted to kill the Prophet Muhammad
ﷺ.
And the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ asked him, what
are you saying to yourself, and he kind
of pretending that he was doing some remembrance.
And the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ used his language
and his body language, he put his hand
on his heart, and he said to him,
ask God to forgive you.
And once he removed his hand, Fudala ibn
Umair said, after that moment, no one was
more beloved to me than the Prophet Muhammad
ﷺ.
We have so many narrations concerning how you
relate is what you create.
This is the concept in Islam called Hilm,
forbearance.
As the Quran says in chapter 41 verse
34, good and evil are not the same.
Good and evil are not equal.
Repel by that which is better.
And between two people there is enmity, it
will turn to intimate friendship.
Beautiful verse.
The scholars say that this means repel anything
by what is more virtuous and what is
more beautiful.
Number five, the shepherd serves, the leader serves.
And I believe we must have love, service,
leadership.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, God will be
at the assistance of his servant so long
as such a person is at the assistance
of his brother.
There is another prophetic tradition collected by Shah
Waliullah ad-Dahlawi.
He said, the leader of a people is
their servant.
So if the goal is noble and to
achieve that vision you have to have people
who must become optimal versions of themselves to
achieve that vision, then you must be at
service to them.
Your energy, your time, your focus, your dedication,
your love, your compassion, your mentoring.
You must serve that to them sincerely in
order for them to achieve that potential.
Number six, the shepherd leads.
Now what's really interesting when you look at
a shepherd, sometimes he's in the middle of
the flock, sometimes he's behind the flock, sometimes
he's sitting on a mountain just watching by
and leaning on his shepherd stick.
Sometimes he's at the back and that's what
leadership is.
Don't think leadership is, I'm always on camera.
I'm always in the front.
I'm always the one to lead.
No.
The greatest leadership sometimes is leading from the
behind.
Great leaders create other leaders.
Great leaders create other leaders, my dear brothers
and sisters and friends.
Sometimes we have to lead from the behind,
lead from the middle, lead from the front.
Sometimes we have to go away from the
flock to get those who have moved away
and bring them back.
That's dedication.
That's leadership.
Leadership is not a title, it's a way
of being.
And if you have no ego and you
have subjugated your ego for that noble, godly,
lofty goal, then you know sometimes you have
to lead from the back, lead from the
middle.
Sometimes you have to do work that is
work that you ordinarily will hate because you
are God-centric.
You're connected to the bigger vision.
You've subjugated your ego.
You've submitted your ego to this good, lofty,
God-pleasing goal that is moral and noble.
So from this perspective, if you want to
lead, we have to have integrity.
What does integrity basically mean?
What you say is what you do.
You keep your word.
You are your word.
When you say table, table falls out of
your mouth.
What you say is what you do.
And your word becomes your identity because you
know no one can read your heart, but
they can see what you say and you
do.
So you identify with that, not just with
your feelings.
You are trustworthy and you're sincere.
And what you do as well is that
you don't enroll, you control.
Rather, sorry, you don't control, you enroll.
You enroll people in your behavior.
You be that which you want others to
become.
How many leaders want their people to be
so great, but they're not great themselves?
How many leaders want their people to be
moral, but they're not moral themselves?
Be that which you want other people to
become.
Don't control, enroll, enroll.
Don't control, enroll people in your behavior.
Like the Prophet Muhammad, upon whom be peace,
his companions were a bit reluctant to shave
their heads after the minor pilgrimage.
And he went to his wife for consultation,
Umm Salama.
And he asked her and he told her
what the situation was.
And what did she say?
Shave your head first.
Once he shaved his head, they all followed.
You need to be an embodiment of your
vision.
You need to be an embodiment of what
you want others to become.
It's tough work.
And that was the sixth point.
And I just want to end on this.
You all could follow these principles in every
aspect of your life.
You're all shepherds, as the Prophet said, upon
whom be peace.
And let me just warn you.
Leadership is painful.
In actual fact, there's something called leadership pain.
If you're not in pain, you're not in
leadership.
And you may say, I don't want to
be in pain.
Life is full of pain.
Choose your poison.
If you're in love, you're going to be
in pain.
If you're not in love, you're going to
be in pain.
If you're eating, you may be in pain.
If you're not eating, you're going to be
in pain.
Life is full of pain.
Embrace it.
To reject pain in this kind of, you
know, cotton wool society that we have is
self-defeating because your mom bore you through
pain.
Imagine you said, I'm not going to have
pain.
Maybe just cut him out, right?
No, pain is necessary because it facilitates growth.
It facilitates success.
It's a sign for success.
You want to get big muscles?
You have to be in pain.
You want to be a good martial artist?
You got to be in pain.
You want to be a doctor?
You're going to have pain.
Physical, existential, psychological.
Yeah, right?
You're going to be, pain is necessary.
Embrace it.
So if you're going to adopt this role
of being a shepherd for whoever you're responsible
for, embrace the pain.
And the pain is going to happen because
if you're dedicated to people's well-being, you
want people to be optimal versions for themselves,
you want to achieve this vision, you have
this kind of positive anxiety about achieving that
noble God-centric goal, you're going to be
in a state of pain.
And the way to deal with that pain
is, yes, sometimes you take a rest.
Ask for help.
Have good inner circle.
Have people who love and respect you genuinely
that will take a thousand bullets for you.
Have that 3AM friend, which many of you
don't have, by the way, unfortunately.
There was a study, around 50% of
people, 60% or something like that, don't
have that 3AM person, because we use each
other as instruments.
We don't give them intrinsic value.
Build a good network.
Have loving relationships, true loving relationships, because true
love is to be dedicated to the spiritual
growth of human beings.
This is something that M.
Scott Peck wrote.
This is something that Eric Fromm talks about.
This is something that Al-Ghazali, the 11th
century polymath, proof of Islam, scholar of Islam,
he wrote something similar.
And in actual fact, I'll end on this,
if we truly have self-love, we have
to love other people, we have to be
dedicated to the well-being of other people,
because the closest thing to you is you.
Self-love is like a form of self
-empathy.
It's not narcissism.
That's delusional.
Self-love is, I want good for myself.
I'm going to be disciplined to be committed
to my spiritual well-being.
If you don't have that discipline, if you
don't have that true self-love, how can
you love anybody else?
And Al-Ghazali talks about this self-love.
And he also concludes that if you really
have self-love, then you must love God.
Because he says, who is the one who
created the physical causes in the universe that
you use in order to have well-being?
Who's the one who guided you to an
optimal way of life?
God himself.
Who's the one who showed you what is
good?
Who is the basis for good and bad?
That's where you have to love the divine.
If you truly love yourself, you have to
love God, and you have to love others.
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.