Hamza Ayedi – The Best of Manners #4
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
So welcome everybody to another,
halakasi
in our series.
Mandumat
Ahs al Akhlaq.
So the poem on the best of manners.
The poem on the best of manners. And
before we start, I just wanted to
make an, the the exciting announcement that most
of you heard today. Just in case those
of you weren't at Jumah,
The ISC, alhamdulillah, is in the process of
purchasing a church,
in the south,
east location. Lawwagbar.
So inshallah,
it's a it's a church that it's in
the south area around,
between
right after Shinuk.
So it's very good location.
Fairview. You know, the south,
the south area of the city doesn't really
have,
many locations for salah or khatab, etcetera. So
inshaAllah,
we're in the process of doing that. The
purchase price was 2.6 as most of you
heard. And, Alhamdulillah,
we have a bit of tight deadline, but
I believe inshaAllah
with the help of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and your support.
Abi Illillah we can achieve that goal. And
you can be from
So, InshaAllah. If you like to donate,
or not if you like, you should donate
InshaAllah.
Whoever builds a Masjid for Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will build a
house for them in Jannah.
And think of all the ajid that you
get, insha'Allah. Every person that attends every salah.
Okay? Every Ramadan, every anything that happens in
the masjid, you will get a portion of
that. You will get a portion of that.
So whatever you can donate, if you wanna
donate online, you can just scan that code.
Or you wanna do an e transfer, you
can send it to, that email right there.
Donation@isc,
dotca.
Let's begin insha'Allah.
Where's Abu Ahad?
We're just gonna read what we covered. So
last time we covered from 1 to 12.
From 1 to 12. Let's just read through
them inshallah.
Those of you who who,
have.
Yeah.
If you wanna follow with us on the
phone, you can just scan that.
So this is what we covered last time.
So So we covered from 1 to from
1 to 12 from 1 to 12. So
today, we wanna cover from 13 to 20,
and
next week
next week, we will try to finish it
from 21
to 29,
and my my goal is not to go
for 50 minutes. Okay? That's the goal.
We will achieve that. So,
let's, let's read
from, 13 to 20.
Yeah. To 20,
Jameel. So, before we begin with the new
ones, I need 5 adab or akhlab that
we've covered last week.
Yeah. Look. Quick review.
Give me 5.
Because the goal of this is for us
to apply these adab, and if we don't
remember them, okay, then how we're gonna apply
them? What are some of the adab that
we covered last time?
What did we say?
And here's where the the benefit of memorizing
the poem comes.
On the back. Yes. Yes.
So that we talked about the parents 2
weeks ago.
Being good to your parents and following their
Nam for them.
Nam.
Sabiran Nam Karima Ascent. Nam. Sabr and Al
Karam. What else?
Nam?
So someone who's thinks things through.
Someone who is very like patient, not doesn't
get angry right away. Masha'Allah.
Good. Good. Good. Good. And this is like
I said, the benefit of memorizing this is
that you can just quickly because sometimes when
we have so many so much information, like
you just blank.
But if you have a memory, you just
start reading. You're like, oh, okay. We have
this, this, this, this, this, this. So that's
one of the great benefits of of, memorizing
something. Let's start.
So, the next line the poet he says,
And by the way, those who are memorizing
can I have a show of hands who
are memorizing? I know some of you are
memorizing. Masha Allah 1.
Masha Allah 1. Allah so you automatically get
the prize then.
2. Masha Allah you memorize. So inshalla next
week we'll, we'll listen to you guys, bayanillah.
And, we'll we'll give out prize. Bayanillah. Type.
So, the poet he says,
Okay? So remember last time he says,
love your brother and give them advice.
You should love every Muslim, and part of
loving every Muslim is to give them
And,
just to connect this with this one, one
of the issues is that sometimes we're too,
we're too shy to give nasiha. Isn't that
right? So you see And and and you
know they say
a they call him What does mean?
What's a sadiq?
So sadiq is what
a friend And they call him because he
tells you the truth, comes from the word
Right? And so he tells you the truth
whether it's nice or ugly. So if he
sees you do something
that is wrong, he'll tell
you. Right? Not, Oh, he might get hurt,
halas, let him do it. No, that's not
a true friend. Alright? And that's not a
true brother in Islam.
That
when you see them do something wrong, you
tell them. Obviously in the best way, but
you tell them. But you, you tell them.
So you give but
also what? We're all good at giving
but we're all bad at what?
Accepting
Right? We're very bad at accepting
And especially from those that might seem below
us,
right? So right now if I do something
wrong, yeah, or the the sheikh is doing
Khutba,
right? Or giving a speech or whatever and
someone from the crowd tries to correct them.
Is he gonna accept it or is he
gonna be like, Who do you think you
are?
Or a child corrects the parent,
What's the parent gonna do? Are they gonna
take the nasiha?
Or the teacher,
he says something wrong and then the student
says,
you know, teacher, that's actually incorrect. You know,
science doesn't say this blah blah blah blah
blah. The teacher's gonna accept it like, Oh.
Usually what happens?
The ego takes over. And so we don't
like to accept Nasihah.
So he says,
Okay?
Accept
Remember we talked about What's
Being humble. Part of being humble is what?
To accept the especially from those who might
be below you, or younger than you, or
less knowledgeable than you.
Or less knowledgeable
than you.
But you have to accept it not from
anyone,
from who? He says,
Who are thikaat?
Someone who's thikaat, someone who's trustworthy,
someone who is
trustworthy.
Right? So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
So if I need advice,
on something that is halalul haram, do I
go to an engineer?
No. I go to a scholar. But if
I need advice,
you know, on my car,
do I go to a dentist?
I go to dentist?
We go to a mechanic
someone who knows. Right? So don't,
don't just take advice from anybody,
but take advice and try to benefit from
it. And and, Umar he
used to praise people, he used to criticize
him. He loved advice.
Constructive criticism is very beneficial and it's something
that you should be invited something that you
should like, should invite towards.
Right? Don't be the kind of person that
always gets upset because what's what's what's that
gonna do to you?
It's gonna actually make you a worse person.
How? Because no one's gonna give you advice.
Sahih, no one's gonna give you advice. So
if you're the kind of person that's always
like, No, that's not me. Alright? And this
is one of the attributes of the hypocrites.
Allah tells us in surat
He says,
Right? From the people And the Allah talking
about the hypocrites here. That's
you might like their speech, okay? But they're
from the worst of people.
Those people who's always argumentative and fighting with
people, right? And when he goes around in
his daily life, he's just causing fitness, putting
rumors,
and fighting with people. Okay? And then,
he's always trying to get involved in things,
but then when you give them when you
give him advice,
When it said to him, Fear Allah,
He gets arrogant. He's like, No.
You You see this all the time. You
tell someone,
Don't do that. Don't do this. He says,
no. It's not of your business. You don't
know what's in my heart and and all
this gibberish.
No. If someone tells you, gives you an
accept it. Okay? Because, this is a part
of,
one of the characteristics of the hypocrites.
Allah subhanahu wa'azhu
And in the hadith, Allah Subhanahu Wa Salam
says, The most hated people to Allah is
Al Adul Khasim. The one who's always argumentative
and doesn't He doesn't accept people's advice. Always
just arguing. Oh no, it's not You know,
so don't be that kind of person. So
accept advice
from the trustworthy people. And
this
is, What does that mean?
Take care of your salah. Now the here,
the author,
he could be talking about what?
Or Okay?
If he's talking about the obviously
and he make sure you pray them, all
5 of them, and pray them on time.
And pray them on time, right? Because some
some some of us, we think that, Oh,
I'm I'm taking care of my salah. And
they pray them all and end the day
together. And a qada. And they think it's
okay. No. No. Salah, it has to be
established on this time.
Okay? And, one of the most beloved acts,
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is salah in
its prescribed time, in its earliest time.
That's one of the most beloved acts to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala commands
And the the interest
Allah The
interesting about this ayah is that it comes
in between which which verses?
Anybody
know? Where's the huffal? Yeah.
So it's talking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is
talking about divorce.
And the difficulty of divorce.
And you do this and you do that.
Then He says,
So, take care of your 5 daily prayers.
And some of the ulama said because they
the salah is what helps you get over
these difficult situations. Right? Because another verse in
Baqarah Allah says,
Okay? Seek help with patience and salah.
The middle prayer is Asr. Some said it
is Fajr.
Let's go to the next one.
Then he says,
Now we're gonna talk about
2 of
the most precious things that we as human
beings have after our deed.
We've got our time and we've got our
money.
Right? Time and money, really precious things.
And 2 of the biggest excuse excuses for
people to not do anything. You tell them,
Brother, do this, I don't have enough money.
Register for this, I don't have enough money.
Go get education, I don't have enough money.
Or, I don't have enough
Time.
I don't have enough time.
So the author is saying,
your
time And we know how
what a big topic time is. And I
don't have to tell you Allah swears by
so many different signs
in the Quran.
Right?
The surah
that Imam Shafi'i said that it
would have been enough if Allah revealed
it. Allah says, Allah swears by time.
Okay? Time that is running away from us.
Right? It's the most precious thing that we
have. Right?
So time is so precious. And unfortunately,
now
every time a day goes by,
people are coming up with ways to waste
time.
There are so many ways to waste your
time.
And one of the most things I hate
to hear from people is, I'm so bored,
I don't know what to do.
If they only knew how much work needs
to be done, right?
And so time is very precious. So he
says,
Right?
Make sure you're doing something beneficial.
Don't waste your time. Because whatever passes, like
today,
this this this Friday, okay? It's never gonna
come back. Khalas, it's gone.
And the and the reality is that you
were gonna be asked about every second of
what happened today.
Right? And so you need to think about
how am I investing my time?
Because at the end of the day, I'm
gonna be asked about all that time.
Right? So
Right? And then he says
Your wealth.
Another thing that people waste and they don't
think about it, right? And subhanAllah, you need
wealth when you don't have it, right? And
so people don't think, don't think, you know,
I need to save, invest in my future.
I need to spend my money in the
sake of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And stop
wasting money on useless things. Nowadays with
the online
world,
yeah, and one easy click, you can just
be purchasing things for no reason. And the
sad part is everybody or a lot of
people are buying things on debt, Subhanallah. And
then they complain that we're in debt. And
they're just purchasing things they don't need.
Right?
And we'll justify it and we'll say, oh,
no. I really need the new iPad because
I won't be able to study
without getting the new iPad. Or I really
need the the latest
iPhone 14.
Because without it, I'm not gonna be able
to, you know, wake up for salah or
some some silly excuse like that. Right? And
so he says, your money,
you know, don't just waste it. Don't just
spend it on useless things. You find people
wasting money on like games online.
And then you look at how much they
spent. Oh, they spent like $1,000
on just games.
Hajeem. And I've seen people like that, young
people, spend money for for no reason. Right?
And then sometimes when we have some money
saved, oh, it's time to go on vacation.
And do you really need to go on
vacation and and spend your money? Have you
done umrah? Have you done hajj? You know,
does your relative need money? Does You know,
think about how you spend your money. Think
about how you spend your money. Ibn Abbas
said that the Prophet says,
and we all know this hadith, take advantage
of 5 before 5.
And Nabiya salallam he said, Take advantage of
these 5 things before other 5 things. The
first one is your youth before you're old.
And subhanAllah like
As the poet says,
I wish that I could go back to
my youth so I can tell them how
much time I've wasted.
And so, when
when you get old, you realize how much
time you had when you're young. Right? And
when you get married, you realize how much
time you had when you were single.
Right? And when
you start working, you realize how much free
time you had when you're in university.
But the guy in university says, I don't
have time, hadeep.
Right? And so take care of your youth
before you get old. Subhanallah, when you're young
you have so much time, we don't realize
it. And that's why for the parents, things
like kavdulquran
and stuff, take advantage of this time. Because
it's not easy for someone to memorize the
Quran when they get old. You get busy
and you have to be really organized.
So take advantage of your youth before your
old age, before you're too old to do
something,
right? Before you're too old to do something.
And then he says, Your health before your
illness.
Take care of your health before you get
sick. We're all one day gonna get sick,
right?
And sicknesses are different levels. Sometimes you're sick
for a few days, sometimes it's chronic, and
you can't even
You need someone to take care of you.
And so take care of take advantage of
your health. Do as much as you can.
As the prophet says,
Hasten towards doing good deeds.
And then take advantage of your rich before
you become poor.
Right? Just because you have money right now,
who told you tomorrow you're gonna have money?
Who told you tomorrow you're gonna have money?
Maybe tomorrow you're gonna be broke, so take
advantage of that. And this is your free
time before you get busy,
right?
Right now you might have a lot of
free time, and then a time is gonna
come when you get really busy and you
wish you could use that free time
for something beneficial. And then he says, Take
advantage of your life before your death.
Take advantage of your life before And we
don't know when we're gonna die. Subhanallah.
The people in the earthquake, the Allah subhanahu
wa'ala took their lives. Were they expecting it?
Did they plan it? And did they have
a schedule?
They thought that they were gonna live for
longer but subhanAllah that's life. And so we
always have to
live
when it comes to khairat, to good deeds.
The Ulema says, When it comes to doing
good deeds, you're hasted,
you do it fast,
as if you're gonna die tomorrow.
But when it comes to the worldly matters,
you deal with them as if you have
all your life to live. Right? And that's
why we said Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves
the one who has
the one who thinks things through. You have
a job opportunity, or what university you're gonna
go? No problem, think about it. But when
it comes to hiraat and good deeds, you
don't have to think twice, just do it.
Just do it. Take advantage of that.
We go now to line 15. He says,
So now he's saying
he's saying,
Learn what is beneficial
and have that eagerness to do that.
And subhanAllah,
like for me personally this is something that
kind of changed my life. When you really
understand, when you kind of change your philosophy
about life, and you realize that
You know, there's 2 kinds of people in
this life.
Right? And Allah says, They're
not the same.
Are the ones who have knowledge and know
things?
Are they like the same? Are they the
same as the people who don't know? They're
not the same, right? And so you realize
in this life that if you wanna move
ahead of people,
if you wanna be ahead of people financially,
spiritually,
physically, whatever it is you can think of
in this life,
then you need to learn. You need to
have that philosophy that,
I wanna be someone who's always trying to
learn. And so, when you have that kind
of mentality, whatever opportunity presents itself for you
to learn, you learn. Right? As soon as
you're able to get your driver license, get
it. Right? If you don't know how to
swim, go learn how to swim. Okay? If
you have an opportunity to go learn how
to ride a horse or something, go learn
it. So have that kind of mentality where
you always trying to learn. And you'll see
that you're always gonna be ahead of people.
You're always gonna be ahead of people. And
this is something part of
the Muslim
character that they're always trying to learn and
to have that
When you realize the of knowledge,
how high Islam puts knowledge and how
beneficial knowledge is, then you will have that
eagerness, that
So have that eagerness to learn. Don't be
someone who's like whatever and they just waste
their time
video games, watching TV, and then they yeah.
I mean, their life just goes by. All
of a sudden they're 40 living in their
mom's basement. Don't be that kind of person.
Be the kind of person that learns
and improves in their life. And then he
says But he says, Because can be what?
Beneficial and non beneficial. Right?
Right? So the Prophet used to seek
protection from
Right?
The Prophet used to ask Allah to protect
him from knowledge that doesn't benefit. Now this
could mean 2 things.
There could be knowledge in and of itself
it's not beneficial.
Like what? What's an example of that?
That's all that.
So she says, some parents, they they they
pay for their kids to learn piano.
Okay. No not no benefit. And it could
be sinful. What what what's another example?
Guitar.
I like knowing what happened if it happens
in, like, the
next episode of the scene.
Yeah. So
yeah. So some sometimes people just waste their
time like about TV shows, and what's gonna
happen, and I wonder was it Then they
write blogs, and Yeah. Just the things that
have no benefit. So that's an example.
Umatul astrology, learning about astrology and the zodiacs,
and things that don't have no benefit, absolutely
no benefit.
Another way you can understand this is a
hint that actually is beneficial
but because the way you interact with it
has no benefit. What does that mean? What
does that mean?
Methaline, methaline, you learn the fiqh of salah
or you learn here this poem.
Okay? Khalis, you know that you should be,
you should have suduk, you should
be honest, you should be patient.
You should be good to your neighbor. And
then you go home and you root to
your neighbor. To ma'am. So this
is How is that beneficial to you? You
know it but you don't use it. Right?
And so this is very dangerous. Okay? So
the prophet would seek protection from that. Okay?
So make sure you learn
beneficial
knowledge. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
commanded the Prophet to ask
him to increase him in knowledge.
Of course,
Then he
says, Okay? And if you want more,
then read.
And subhanAllah,
your reading is a very interesting topic.
The band of Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
one of the duas And this is an
amazing du'a for you to memorize. The the
prophet would say every morning, he would say,
Oh Allah, I ask you beneficial knowledge. Okay?
What is good provision?
Okay?
And deeds that are accepted. And so this
is a dua that we should all memorize.
What's the first ayah that was revealed to
the prophet And
that's not by coincidence.
Right?
And and and reading means read, right? Or
recite.
And
and subhanAllah, if you realize how
what a big deal reading is, and we
live in an age now that there are
so many books being printed but very few
people read.
And I want you to think about what
what reading does to a person. Anybody here
ever write a book?
Write a book? Anybody write a book? You
wrote a book, Michelle?
Yeah. How many pages?
10. 10? Okay, Michelle. 5. That's good. That's
good, Michelle. 10 pages.
I don't I don't know
what to I don't know which kind of
pages, but I'm like,
You you're lots of books?
Masha'Allah. We have an author
here. Are you selling them or
We'll talk.
You wrote a book?
You wrote a book?
So writing books takes a long time. It
gives you Yeah. Of course, it gives you
knowledge. But writing books is difficult. Right? And
you see, ask an author who's published a
book, 200 page book, and it takes time.
And the interesting thing about a a topic
like let's say someone writes a book about,
give me like, for example,
the famous book that people like to read
about interactions with people. Right? How to,
how to win friends and influence people.
That had the Carnegie.
So this book became, a very famous book.
What made it so amazing is the author,
he's putting down his like 20 or 30
year experiences
into one book.
To, ma'am. And so you as a reader,
you don't have to live 30 years,
okay, and and teach public speaking and all
interact with people. You can gain
all the good things that he learned in
just a couple hours. SubhanAllah.
And so imagine
so you're getting this 20 year experience on
top of your age.
Imagine you read a book every month.
By the end of the year, you would
have
how many years more experience than your counterpart?
So see see the effect of what books
have on people. And then you have a
person who doesn't read. And subhanAllah And I
read this statistic that most
college graduates don't even read a book after
they graduate.
Imagine those who didn't even go to college.
And so most people don't read. If you
want to go ahead in life,
make sure that reading is part of your
daily habits.
Even if it's not daily, okay? Read. Whatever
it is. And of course, try to read
beneficial books in deen,
in in in health, etcetera.
But, you'll see how it changes your life.
It changes
your life.
Then he says, When it comes to knowledge,
okay?
Al Islam
respects knowledge. It gives it
a high place. And so
the book, you have to respect it. Right?
Sometimes you see people they just throw their
books whatever, there's like oil stains on them,
coffee stains,
they're bent, you know? So,
uh-uh, we have to respect
knowledge
and we have to respect the books. So
he says,
Right? Respect the books. Okay? Put them in
a nice place, take care of them.
When you write notes, don't just scribble everywhere,
take care of your book.
And respect your teacher.
And your teacher is he's the one that's
giving you the knowledge,
right? And so respect them. Respect them by
sitting properly,
right? Respect them by listening.
Respect them by actually applying what you are
learning.
Don't
talk when they're talking.
So these are all things that you can
do
to respect
the teacher.
He says,
And try as best as you can to
honor the Ulema.
Try as best as you can to honor
the Ulema. Nowadays we have people that just
talk bad about the ulama just because they
miss they disagree with their opinion. Subhanallah.
And and one interesting thing one of the
ulama he said, he said, Allah
the Prophet told us
that even the fish in the ocean
they make istighfar for the ulema. Right? As
mentioned in the hadith. And then you have
people
backbiting and cursing them. SubhanAllah.
Right? And so as much as you can
respect the
And if they made a mistake, that's okay.
They're human beings. They're not they're not prophets.
They make mistakes. And if you don't agree
with an opinion of theirs, that's fine. That
doesn't mean you disrespect them. That doesn't mean
you disrespect them. Right? And we know in
our history
so many bad things happen where people will
not talk to someone who's shafir. The maliki
will not talk to the hanafi.
The you know and there was one time
in in the haram where there was like
different prayers
for different madahib.
Ajib had. Right? And people talking
about What's the point of your of your
knowledge if you're gonna disrespect the people of
knowledge? If you're gonna disrespect
the people of knowledge.
Ahmed Shawqi, the they call him
the
right? The prince of the of the poets.
He has a nice line of poetry. He
says,
So he's saying,
Stand up
and and give respect and reverence for your
teacher.
He says,
Right? The
he's almost taken the place of a Prophet
because he's the one that given you the
knowledge.
He's the one that's transferring you his knowledge
to you. So give him respect, right? Nowadays,
people don't respect their teachers,
right? They talk back to their teachers,
they don't respect them, and it's a sad
situation.
Okay? So part of the Muslim character is
to have respect for the teacher, even if
you don't agree with them.
Tabura if they're rude to you, even if
they're rude to you, okay? Be respectful
be respectful,
to the
to the Then he says,
we've we've covered masha'Allah to 46. Then
he says
What happened here?
Now, 5. He says,
number 17. He says,
So now this could be related to your
teacher or to
to the scholar or it could be in
general. Okay? If we're talking about the teacher,
when you're sitting in front of your teacher
learning,
he says,
Okay?
Sit straight in front of them and face
them. Don't give them your back. Right? It's
not appropriate. It's not good it's not good
manners to give your back to your teacher
or to put your feet in front of
of them. Right? And so you should face
them. Right? I remember when
when I was taking some lessons in Masjid
in Nabi,
Sheikh Al Usaiemi, he would have a lesson
and if you've been to Masjid in Nabi,
where do they do the halakat?
Right? There's a chair, right? Usually there's a
chair and the scholar sits there and then
people sit around him. But because it was
such a big gathering,
students would sit where?
Okay? They would sit behind the Sheikh. It's
a big area and so there'd be a
chair, and then the the the students who
come first, you know they come like 3
hours early so you can't even beat them.
Right? So they come sit in front of
the Sheikh, right? And it gets full. And
then of course there's people praying,
Right? And so there's no place So a
lot of the students, I was one of
them once, would sit behind the Sheikh. And
the Sheikh wouldn't like it.
Initially I would say to myself, Okay, where
do you want us to sit? Okay? But
if that's the request of the of the
teacher, you should follow it. So he would
he would say, I don't like when people
sit behind me. Okay?
The students should sit in front of in
front of the teacher.
And then when he's speaking,
you listen. Okay? You listen. You don't you're
not on your phone, right? Unless you have
an emergency, right? You're not talking to your
friend,
you're not daydreaming, okay? So, he
said,
Now this can be in general as well.
When you speak to someone,
when you speak to someone, what should you
do? You guys tell me.
When someone is speaking to you, what would
you like them to do?
Let's get some
what do you want someone to
Do you do you want them to face
you or to look the other way?
Face. To face you, right? So when you
want when you when you're talking to someone,
you want them to face you. And don't
be sideways.
Right? Don't be on your
The biggest problem,
the phone.
So you see people scrolling
and and and they're and the person is
talking to you and he you know he's
talking to you and you're scrolling. And this
is this is bad manners. Right? If you're
going through something,
right?
First of all, if you're going through something
and somebody comes to you, Okay, what happens
here? You guys tell me.
You're on your phone,
I'm on my phone right now, and then
someone comes to me. Okay? Should I put
my phone down or should he wait?
Mama.
Put my phone down.
No. No? He waits. No. What? Anybody else?
Oh, we have difference of opinion. No?
I'm on my phone. And you Like why
does he have to come? And if I'm
reading a book, and someone comes to me,
I close my book.
I'm not sure. But if someone's doing something
short,
Ask permission. Ask permissions,
Yeah. Do you have a minute? That's a
good that's a good one. If I'm on
my phone, and you know it's gonna take
a second, just
wait.
And he will see you come. And you
on your phone, you should tell him, give
me a second. I'm gonna finish this. Okay?
And then finish, and then talk to them.
But don't
talk to them while they're yeah. Yeah. Go
ahead. Yeah. Yeah.
That's that's not nice.
So so,
so you want them to face you. Okay?
What else? What else when you you want
someone eye contact.
So eye contact. Sometimes
and especially like when you say salan, someone
someone will be like, Right? So And we
all do that. Right? And sometimes people get
offended, and they have the right to do
that. So when you speak to someone, face
them. Okay? Eye contact,
right? What else?
Anybody? Yalla, different people. Smile.
Of
course smile Sometimes
when someone talks to us,
we don't
listen. Right? And sometimes if you're having like
a discussion
and someone's talking, what do what does the
other person do?
Interrupt, that's one thing you shouldn't do, Ascent,
Ascent. From the edeb is to let them
finish. And that's why the
prophet Okay? When one of the leaders of
Quraysh was was talking to him, okay? He
waited for him until he finished his afarakta,
Are you done? And then he spoke. So
this is from the Okay, what else? Sometimes
when someone's speaking, we're thinking about how to
reply.
So we don't actually listen to them. You
don't even know what they just said, but
you're already preparing a reply on maybe something
they said before. And so this is not
from adab. From adab is to actually
to listen. Sit just listen to them, eye
contact, give them full attention.
Okay?
And the other adab is
And we talked about this, that if we're
in a gathering,
okay? Let the elders speak first.
You know everybody likes to talk, okay? But
out of good
is you let the elders talk. So with
your family, and the grandfather's there, you let
the grandfather speak first. You're there in a
gathering and the uncle's there, I don't care
if you're a doctor, I don't care if
you're a PhD, let the older speak first.
This is from the
because we said
before. We said,
Revere and respect the elders.
And the prophet said,
There are not from us those who don't
respect our elders.
And so you let the And we said
the story of ibn Umar. One one time
he was sitting with the sahaba, and he
was a young boy, and the Prophet was
asking for right? For an answer. And he
knew it but he didn't want to speak
because Abu Bakr and his father Umar was
there, Uthman.
And so he's too shy. He he didn't
wanna speak ahead of the older the older
sahab.
So we said face the person,
turn off your phone, okay? Listen and give
full attention,
right? Don't think of the reply,
and let the older speak first.
We go to etiquette number 51,
We go He says,
Now we go to the etiquettes of speaking.
Okay? So the author says, he says, speak
good or else remain silent. Where did he
get this from?
What's the hadith? Uh-huh.
Whoever believes in,
in Allah and the day of judgement, then
let him speak good or
be quiet. Right? And Abu Nasayim,
Rahimahullah in his of
because this is from the 40
from the 40 hadith
He says that
when he explains this hadith, he says that
if you have something and you're not sure
if it has any benefit,
don't say it. And this is very difficult.
Right? Because sometimes we just we just wanna
say something. And many times,
we we speak without thinking, and that's why
a a Muslim should be someone who has
We talked about
Right? Equanimity or whatever the English was, where
a person thinks before they act, thinks before
they speak. Right? So it should be someone
who thinks before they speak.
If you have something good to say, say
it. But what if it's quiet and awkward?
Alright. Sometimes they're like, I have to say
something. Yeah. You don't have to say something.
Okay? If if there's no. What's the problem?
Because everything you say, you're gonna be asked
about. Right?
So don't be someone who just says things.
Okay? Okay?
If there's good if you have something good
to say, say it.
Or else
just be quiet. Just Right? And this is
very rare,
for people to just be quiet. They find
it awkward. No. It's not awkward. Yeah. And
if you don't have anything good to say,
or come up with something good to say.
Come up with something good to say. And
then he says,
and before you spread news, confirm it.
Hadith we mentioned, okay?
That whoever believes in Allah in the last
day must either speak good or remain silent.
That's why we're doing good. And then
he says okay. So this is a big
problem.
So many times
when we hear a news,
what happens?
We just spread it.
We hear something
and now with WhatsApp and tell, what's the
other one? Telegram? Yeah. Telegram and and whatever
messenger,
people just spread
And we have to be careful. So before
when you get a news of something,
okay? He says,
Okay. Where is he getting this from by
the way?
He
says,
O believers, if an evildoer comes to you
with any news, then verify
it. Verify it, right? And many of us
we don't do that.
We we And I know I'm telling you
this and you're like, Yeah, I know someone
but think about yourself. How many times you've
forwarded something
without confirming it? I remember in in the
university,
one of the things that
the students loved is when there was a
sandstorm.
Because sandstorm means No
school. No school. Alright? And back in the,
like, in the beginning when I started studying
there, it was very easy for them to
just cancel school. Just If you just see
some dust, halas, no school.
They
would always share these videos
of,
like a sandstorm
coming from outside the city.
Right? And if you anybody here been in,
like, in a sandstorm
or witnessed 1?
So, it's yeah. I mean, it's it's very,
yeah. I mean
and and, you can't see anything. It's almost
like the the blizzards that we have here.
You literally can't see anything. So one time
somebody,
shared a video
and it was like a video and it
was like this the the the place was
orange, you know.
Some of the sand
in in in the,
in Saudi Arabia and other countries is orange.
Right? And so they send a picture of
us, like, orange and, you know, it looks
like a sandstorm, and they started sharing it.
Like, it's coming, and it's close coming to
us. Right? And then everybody shared it. Everybody
shared it. And, you know, halal has canceled
school. The school was canceled.
It ended up being like some guy, he
blew a balloon, an orange balloon.
And he took a picture, and he made
it look like it's a sandstorm.
But nobody nobody checked it,
And they just spread it and And nowadays,
subhanAllah, with
technology,
you know, you have people who take videos
and they
change the the face, and they change, what's
being said, and it looks real. Like, is
is I forgot the name of of, of
this. Anybody know what what do they call
that? Photoshop.
None of Photoshop. There's something else.
Copy me. No no. There's something else where
they take they literally take,
and and they they make up faces of
people
that never existed.
Anyways.
I forgot the name. But, anyways But now
they can actually And they make they make
a video of someone saying something and they
actually never actually said it.
Yeah. So you'll you'll see a video of,
Madeline
I don't know, president,
Fulan. And he's saying something, and then the
person will like, Oh, SubhanAllah, I knew he
was And then they'll share it. And then
it spreads and
Make sure you can you you check, right?
And we're very We become very impulsive at
doing that, at sharing without
checking. Where does he get the word,
because in another Quran in the Quran,
Allah subhanahu wa'ala says,
In another Quran in the Quran, he says,
be firm. Confirm what came to you.
So verify. If you get some kind of
news, verify.
Right? And don't just spread it.
Even today,
I think it was a mistake by the
brother, but somebody sent about the new masjid
that 1,500,000
was already paid.
And so now someone if they don't confirm
that and share it, khalas now the by
next week, the masjid is paid and we
haven't even paid that. So we have to
be very careful,
about spreading,
information.
Jameel, we're almost done.
Let's do this. So
what's? Yeah. 10 minutes, we'll finish. What's?
Sisters, what's?
But why do we
do Something you don't know which one to
choose. Yeah. So you have Mathan 2 options.
Okay? And you are not 100% sure which
one, or you're leaning towards 1, but you're
not really sure if it's good for you
or not. And so what you do, you
The prophet said,
and this is a hadith from Jabir. He
said, The Prophet used to teach us
this istikhara,
it's nottikhara to show you how important this
is. Just like he used to teach us
a surah.
Right? And so it was something that was
part of their day to day life. Okay?
And the prophet said, When one of you
is concerned with something, they're not sure what
to decide, let them pray 2 rakas
and then do,
this dua.
Do this dua. And this is dua that
you should memorize. If you don't have it
memorized, just pick up your phone
and
read it. So basically,
you're asking Allah
with his knowledge. Okay? With his power. Okay?
To let something happen if it's good for
you. So let's say Methanen,
you have been accepted to Harvard
and what's another university?
UFC.
But that's actually that's that's too easy. You've
been accepted to Harvard or Yale.
2 Ivy Leagues. So you're not sure which
one to choose. You're leaning toward Harvard but
it's too expensive.
So you kind of lean
you have you're naturally gonna lean towards one
of them. It's impossible that you're almost the
same. If you're still almost the same, then
you should do more research.
So you're leaning towards one of them, so
let's say you're leaning towards Harvard. So now
you go pray and you're saying, Oh Allah
basically the dua, Oh Allah if this is
good for me, for my deen, and for
my dunya, and everything else, then let it
happen. And you make it easy to happen.
And if it's not good, push it away
from me. So you're technically waiting for something
to happen now. And this is really nice
for those of you who do it,
you understand what I'm talking about because it
gives you comfort.
Right? It gives you comfort you're like
Allah chose this so it must be good.
Now let's say you chose Harvard.
The next morning you get a call, we
didn't,
you know, we ran out of spots or
something. Oh, whatever. And your mom gets sick
and you have to stay with her in
the city.
What do you understand from that?
That it was not good for you.
And you're very content and you go to
Yale very happy. But if someone doesn't do
if even if Harvard didn't work out they
might try again for it. And then if
they go to Yale they might be very
sad and regretful. You understand how important
is? So
actually guides the person and then he said,
So, first. He says, Then do
then do
What is
is
consultation.
And they say, you consult if you're still
not sure.
And so after you do
you
you ask people. You still ask people. Right?
You ask people those who have knowledge. Right?
Those who who know. Okay? And so and
and this is something that is part of
our sunnah, part of our deen, is to
always consult those
who have knowledge, okay? As Allah says,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is commanding who? The
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam to
consult the Sahaba.
Right? Because sometimes even this the Prophet
wasn't really sure what's the best way to
do this. If it wasn't something straight
Okay? He doesn't know, should we stay in
the city? Should we march forward? Right? So
he would consult the Sahaba.
Once you make a decision,
then have Allah Right?
Allah
loves those who
put their trust in Him.
So when do we consult others? Right? If
something is unclear. But if something is clear,
do you need to consult someone?
Okay? You don't need to consult,
someone. But if you're still not sure, like
if you know people in Mathan who went
to Harvard, go ask them obviously. Consult them.
Ask them. Okay. What do you think? Was
it worth it? Were you able to finance
it? You know,
did you get a job right away? Is
this the best way to do it? So
you do that. You do
you do
and there's a beautiful lines of poetry where,
the poet he says,
Right? So he says, do sure consult those
who
have knowledge and those who are at your
level.
Okay?
Even if you are from those people who
people come to consult.
Because sometimes,
uh-uh, we think of
You know, people come ask me for advice
and consultation.
I don't need consultation. No. Everybody needs consultation.
Even the Prophet
needed to
consult his companions.
Okay? So he says, even if you are
from Ahl al mushurati, you are from the
people who people ask advice for.
So he says, the eye can see, okay?
What's close and what's far. The eye can
see what's close and what's far. Okay?
But the eye cannot see, itself. And you
don't see yourself.
You don't see what's missing from you. You
don't see these things except with a mirror.
What's the poet saying?
There are things that you don't see about
yourself, about your life. Okay?
Because you see things from your perspective. But
other people can tell you, things about yourself.
You know, maybe you consult someone, they'll tell
you, listen, bro. You know, you don't you
don't have the money for this. You don't
have $100,000
a year to go to school. I don't
think it's worth it for you. Maybe go
to this option. Right?
Maybe they'll see things from different perspectives. Or
they'll tell you, the Islamic environment there is
not good. Or they'll tell you, oh, you're
going to engineering? You don't have to go
there. Go to this one. It's better. You
don't see these things other people other people,
see them.
And the last one he says,
Okay?
Good.
This is the last one. He says, When
you make a mistake,
apologize.
And how hard is that?
And this is something that
This is part
of that when you make a mistake,
ask people for forgiveness,
right? Don't don't let your ego get in
the way.
Don't let your ego
get in the way. And again I'm gonna
mention especially
if it's if you wronged someone that's maybe
below you.
This is tough. And imagine a teacher wronged
his student.
Is he gonna apologize or his ego gonna
get in the way?
One of the compilers of hadith,
he was
he was
refuted or corrected by somebody. Right?
Al Hakim, I believe. One of the compilers
of Hadith, Rahim Allah.
He was,
refuted or corrected by somebody.
And when he was corrected,
okay, he sent like a gift to this
person who corrected him. And so this person
who corrected him and he received the gift,
he said so he said, I was so
amazed from that. I realized that he's one
of the intelligent people.
Yeah. Because
when you make a mistake, yes, apologize, Yani
Yani. Admit that you made a mistake.
Right? And sometimes our ego gets in the
way and we don't wanna apologize.
Right?
Married couples,
brother, sister, right? Especially family, you don't want
to show that you're less and we see
it as a sign of weakness. No, you
shouldn't. Because remember the whole we said this
whole issue about adab and akhlaq
is that people will wrong others,
and then the person will take the right
on the day of judgement.
And so, you know, ask for forgiveness here.
Okay? And from adab, and from adab,
from good manners,
and from
is to accept the apology.
This is another issue. You go to someone,
you wrong them and you say, I'm sorry.
You know, I called you a name yesterday
and I shouldn't have. Okay?
And then the prophet's like, No, no. I'm
not I'm not accepting your apology. You shouldn't
do that. If a person is sincere in
their apology, you should accept their apology.
Yeah? Because
we have people out there like, no, I'm
not gonna
I'll take it back. You shouldn't do that.
You shouldn't do that because if you deal
with people like that, then people will deal
with you
like that. Okay? So when you make a
mistake,
ask ask for forgiveness. Okay? Ask for forgiveness.
And when you commit a sin, then follow
it
with right away.
Okay?
As the hadith mentions there are angels there,
if you ask for forgiveness, he deletes it
right away. As soon as you ask for
forgiveness, he deletes
it.
And part of staying steadfast on the straight
path that we ask for all from Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala everyday
is at least I'll far. Allah says,
Then be steadfast towards Allah and what?
And ask for forgiveness. Right? Because we cannot
stay on the straight path 100% all the
time. The prophet says,
Try to be steadfast but you will never
be able to be perfect.
Okay? And to counter that, what do we
do? Is
part of that.
Right? So don't let your ego get in
the way, apologize.
And sometimes apologize even if you're wrong.
SubhanAllah. Why?
Because sometimes there's
a there's a benefit, right? And so sometimes
husband and wife to get into a fight.
And maybe you're on the right, okay? But
you know that this is gonna solve a
problem so just
apologize. Right? And then the person after comes
down, they apologize.
Right? And so sometimes apologize even even if
you're wrong if there's a if there's like
a benefit
from it.
Right?
And the I'll finish with this verse,
right? When you when you commit a sin,
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala talks about the
He says, The muttaqeen are also those
He mentioned good good traits, but he says,
The are also those that commit
right? They commit evil deeds, okay? And they
also wrong themselves.
But the unique thing about them, they remember
Allah,
Then they actually make
And who else is gonna forgive except Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala?
And they don't. They do their best not
to go back to what they did. Right?
And the prophet told us that he seeks
forgiveness. Who's this?
The prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam. Right?
His sins are forgiven already. Right?
But he asked for forgiveness over 100 times
a day. Right? And so
should always be on our tongue. What's another
benefit of having and on
your tongue?
You're gonna have less bad talk. Remember we
said, speak good. And so, uh-uh
they say, Try to have on your mouth,
on your tongue. Why? Because can someone swear
when they're doing
Alright? Can they curse someone?
So if you're always
consistently doing
then you won't
You're
less likely
to speak ill
of people.
See, we did it. Alhamdulillah. Less than now.
Masha'Allah. Any questions?
Any questions?
Can you still get get back Get it
back from them?
We can't 100% know sincerity but I understand
what you mean. Sometimes any
there's signs that someone is not necessary but
we can't really go inside someone's heart and
check it.
So you do your best. You fight yourself
to forgive them because you want Allah to
forgive you. This is the the point.
If someone wronged you and they keep wronging
you, there's other things like if if they
keep wronging you, just stay away from them.
You don't have to.
Right? But if someone asks for forgiveness, then
accept the forgiveness.
Accept the forgiveness
and uh-uh don't worry about getting back You
forgive them, Allah will forgive you. So inshallah,
you're winning Yani both situations.
Any other questions? It's a good question now.
If you are not? Not looking. Looking. Uh-uh.
But
in Islam, it's not allowed even to look,
I mean,
And so you're talking like in case it's
a female,
Or in general? If it's a female or
just in general you're talking about?
No. I mean, I'm talking in general. Oh,
in general. Type. So I mean, it means
that,
the respect
to your parents and the elderly,
it's not to look
So this is this can cut part of,
of cultures, and and is
that
So Yes. And actually even the Sahaba
when they were asked to describe the Rasulullah
some of them said, I can't describe him
because I couldn't
I couldn't look at him long enough.
I have that kind of respect to to
the prophet So it is any part of
some cultures
and,
that you don't look at your dad.
In some cultures, nowadays maybe it's not here.
But in some cultures, to look at your
dad, it's kinda rude.
Right?
And that's fine. There's nothing wrong against that.
But what about we're doing here in the
culture?
We have to try to balance here. And
if people see it as rude, then we
should we should look at them. Unless As
long as you're not contradicting something in the
religion that makes it haram. But you should.
You try your best. Because we're living here
in the high, and it it might have
a negative effect for from a the damal
point of view.
So next week, we'll finish.