Haleh Banani – Unlock Your Feminine Power – Exclusive Q&A
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The speakers emphasize the importance of balance and being intuitive in relationships, as well as the challenges of finding a partner and finding a job. They also touch on a program for women to heal and develop their natural beauty, which is designed for individuals who want to transform themselves and bring out the best in themselves. The program is designed for individuals who want to transform themselves and bring out the best in themselves.
AI: Summary ©
Salaam alaikum and welcome to the Feminine Revival.
It's so good to have you all here.
Just give me a thumbs up if you
can see me and hear me and we'll
get started right away inshallah.
Now this is such a critical, critical topic
and very few people are talking about it
and it's all about what it means to
be feminine.
If I can, Sister Aisha, if you can
give me a thumbs up if you're hearing
me.
Inshallah, bismillah, wassalatu wassalam ala rasulullah.
All right, just waiting for that.
If you can hear me or see me,
yes.
Okay, excellent.
Jazakallah khairan.
Bismillah, wassalatu wassalam ala rasulullah.
Welcome to the Feminine Revival.
You know, in studying the femininity, I have
seen that it is so important for us
to know what it means to be feminine.
It's gotten a bad rap and there's a
lot of misconceptions, misunderstanding about what it means
to be feminine.
To give you a little background about myself,
I've been a faith-based counselor for the
past three decades and what I have seen
repeatedly in doing marriage counseling and in working
with women who are burnt out, stressed, anxious,
depressed, sometimes even suicidal, is seeing that there's
a missing link and that missing link is
being in touch with their feminine side.
I had one client that came in and
she was absolutely, she was just crying.
First session, she was crying, she was overwhelmed,
she was married with kids but just felt
so out of touch.
She was a physician, very successful, very intelligent
and she just couldn't understand why she couldn't
get along with her spouse.
She couldn't understand why she couldn't connect with
her kids and after going through intensive training
on how to be more feminine, her life
transformed.
Within a few sessions, she came, I mean
from crying, being overwhelmed, wanting to end her
marriage, she came just smiling from ear to
ear.
She's like, I can't believe this stuff really
works.
I said, yes, it does work and I
have thousands of examples that will prove when
you get in touch with your feminine side,
then something very magical happens and I would
call being feminine a superpower and we're going
to talk in this webinar, inshallah, we're going
to talk about what it means, what are
some of the misconceptions, what can happen, the
dangers of not being in touch with your
feminine side and also how you can be
more feminine, right?
These are very critical aspects and it's going
to affect every aspect of your life.
If you are single and you're not married,
being feminine and knowing what it means to
be feminine will change you.
If you are married, definitely, this is a
game changer, ladies, mashallah.
If you know how to tap into your
femininity, it will change everything and even if,
let's say, if you are divorced, if you
are, you know, like I said, if you're
single, knowing how to be, it's about being
authentic and whole, right?
So it's not exclusively for people in relationships.
So tell me, those of you who are
tuning in right now, I really want you
to be engaged.
This is an interactive and I have said
that this is a Q&A.
I'm going to give you, you know, some
introduction but I'm going to address your questions
as well and I really want you, the
more engaged you are, the more energy I
get and then I can give you even
more, you know, more information, inshallah.
So let's get started, bismillah.
All right.
So what, let me see, I'm going to
make this larger.
Let me know a little bit, first of
all, about yourself.
How many of you, are you single?
Are you married?
How many years are you married?
It just would be great to get a
little bit of feedback from you guys.
And what do you think, what are some
of the misconceptions about being feminine?
What do you think, when, what are some
of the biggest misconceptions?
All right.
So some of the misconceptions, first of all,
some people may see being feminine as a
weakness, right?
It's about being weak.
Married almost 14 years, sister Aziza is single.
All right.
So some people may see being feminine as
a weakness.
They might see it as always just about
being dependent, right?
Being very fragile, like, oh, help me.
I'm, I'm completely helpless.
Married eight years, feminine as dependent.
Very good.
That's what I just covered.
Okay.
And then being fragile.
And there is this feeling that it might
be just focused on your physical appearance.
It's about being submissive.
Maybe how our some, some mothers and some
grandmothers, my mother was Mashallah, very, very strong
and assertive.
So there wasn't that submissiveness, but many people
might see femininity as being submissive.
And then seeing it as incompatible with success,
like, okay, if you are feminine, that means
you can't be successful, right?
Are there any other misconceptions that you have
had that you felt 29 years?
All right, Mashallah, sister Fazila, Fazila, right?
High five for 29 years, Mashallah.
Let's, let's send some hearts for those who
are responding, Mashallah.
All right.
Now we're going to talk about what it
means.
What is the cost of ignoring your feminine
side, right?
When you ignore your feminine side, you're not
living authentically, right?
You're not in touch.
It leads to burnout because you are kind
of your program to be a certain way.
You're pushed and you're on all the time.
It ends up leading to very unfulfilling relationships.
And it feels like something is missing.
A lot of the women I have worked
with, when they are not in touch with
their feminine side, they're always angry.
It's like this anger, bitterness, right?
And they feel like they have lost their
feminine identity.
I can't tell you the number of clients
that I have had that either the man
says this about his wife, or the woman
says it about them.
So that I feel like a man.
I feel like a man in the relationship.
And some men will say I feel like
I'm married to a man, right?
Because there is such, you're just so consumed
with those masculine traits, right?
And if we don't get in touch with
the feminine side, if we don't understand actually
what it means to be feminine, then we
can totally lose ourselves.
Okay.
So what do you think it means to
be feminine?
What are some of the traits?
I don't know why all my pictures are
stretched.
They weren't like that.
All right.
What are what are some of the things
when you think okay, married, so we said
10 years, 29 years, eight years, 14 years,
what do you think it means when we're
talking about being feminine?
I really want your feedback.
Tell me what comes to mind.
Because a lot of times, the misconceptions that
we have need to be cleared up.
Okay, soft spoken, very good.
Sister Maria, what else?
If you're soft spoken, and what other traits
can you think of when you think of
someone that is feminine?
Okay.
Being feminine means you're accepting your essence, like
who you are, you're not, you're not fighting
with yourself, you are, you're true to your
being.
Because many times I find that the clients
who struggle the most is that it's almost
like they're at war with themselves.
And because they're at war with themselves, then
they end up being at war with everyone
else, their spouse, their, their children, community members,
in laws, because there's this, this feeling like
they always have to have a front and
they always have to be this very tough,
very strong.
Now, we're not against being strong.
Okay, I love a strong, feminine woman.
And it's just about how you balance that
strength.
Okay.
So you're true to yourself.
It's about being intuitive, being intuitive and having
emotional strength.
And that's where a lot of times people
fall apart, right?
Because they're taking on so much, there's so
much that they're taking on, they might be,
you know, whether it's working towards their degrees,
working full time, taking care of the home,
their children, their spouse, doing so much.
And then what ends up happening because they're
not really nurturing themselves, because they're not creating
a balance, they don't have an outlet.
So there's a lot of explosions, right?
There's this emotional instability, where people just start
they fall apart.
And they're like a ticking time bomb.
And everyone around these kind of women are
they're just they're, they are walking on eggshells,
not knowing when that when this person is
going to snap.
So this, this is really problematic.
Because if your children are walking on eggshells,
and they don't know, you know, when you're
going to snap, they're not going to share
a whole lot with you.
If your spouse feels that way, if your
family members or your friends feel that way,
then what ends up happening is that people
shut down emotionally.
Being feminine is about being nurturing, right?
If you have a nurturing side.
Now, I know that a lot of people
may have suppressed, right?
And then it's about also playfulness.
They have suppressed this, this side of them,
right?
Maybe you have done that.
Maybe you felt like, oh, it's weakness, I'm
going to get taken advantage of.
So you know what I need to do,
I'm going to suppress.
But what happens when you suppress, when you
suppress any emotion, eventually, it comes bubbling up
and not not in a pretty way.
Okay.
So what we need to do is get
in touch with what that means and being
feminine, nurture it, develop it, and then make
sure it's balanced.
Because maybe those individuals that you have as
as like the symbol of femininity, right?
Maybe it was your maybe it was a
grandmother, maybe it was a mother, maybe they
didn't balance it out.
And maybe they, it was all towards one
side.
And you saw it as being passive and
weak.
And you don't a lot of women, I
know, they don't want to have anything to
do with that.
And if they saw their mothers as being
weak and submissive and taken advantage of so
the pendulum swings to the opposite, you know,
to the opposite side, right?
Where they are now those like, ah, I'm
going to be I'm going to be tough,
I'm going to be strong, I'm going to
be nothing like my mother.
How many of you can relate to this?
Have you had, let's see, compassionate, okay, being
soft, kind and affectionate, very good.
Compassion, gentle, someone who is kind and affectionate,
being tactfully gentle while handling things.
Very good.
Very good.
So how many of you had mothers, or
examples in your life that you felt they
were feminine, but they were being taken advantage
of?
And it's somehow created this negative association.
Just be honest, right?
It's just us.
We are, I want you to know you're
in a safe space.
And you can share your thoughts, feelings, no
judgment here.
And it will be really great if you
can share that how many of you and
you be and when you are truthful with
yourself, when you admit certain things about yourself,
then that's when the breakthroughs happen, right?
So I feel like you're talking about me.
Okay, great.
All right.
So tell us what do you think?
What is what does that?
Did you have somebody that you felt was
weak when they were feminine?
Let's see.
So sir, Nadine, I think my grandma was
super feminine.
And my mom swung the pendulum to be
tough.
And that's how I was raised.
Okay.
So she saw maybe that feminine side as
being weak.
And she's like, Ah, sister, I am not
doing this.
Mine lacked the femininity altogether.
And so it was never taught or modeled.
Interesting.
Okay, what else?
So sir, Eve, I, I have the opposite
mother was very strong.
And that's how I was raised.
Okay.
Very interesting.
Now, what, um, what I experienced growing up
is I was very blessed with a mother,
mashallah, who was both strong and very feminine.
Okay, so I had that model to me,
where she was a businesswoman, Mashallah, she was
a fashion designer, amazing, creative, strong, and yet
she was very much in touch with the
feminine side.
She she knew how to pamper my, my
father, she knew how, how to be gentle,
how to be affectionate.
So having these, you know, having a role
model that embodied both really helped me to
develop that within myself.
And that's where I feel Allah prepared me
so I can help other women to develop
that in themselves, because it's hard.
Those of you who only had maybe an
example of, of someone who is maybe taken
advantage of who is weak, then you're just
like, you know what, I'm not I'm not
gonna, I'm not gonna do that.
Right.
And those who only had a strong mother,
and a person who didn't tap into their
feminine side, then, then it's hard.
How are you feminine.
And that's one of the things that I
teach my clients.
And I teach, you know, on my academy,
I'm the founder of the mindful hearts Academy,
I will tell you more about it.
But in that I teach how to get
more in touch with your feminine side, how
to actually be that best version of yourself.
Because many times, what we see is that
people, they may not have, they may not
have role models, right?
They may not have had the upbringing.
And just because you didn't have that growing
up doesn't mean you're doomed.
This is what I always love to tell
people, because, you know, a lot when individuals
may go to counseling, and then they hear,
oh, it's all it's all your parents fault.
It's your, you know, your environment's fault.
And then they feel a bit like victimized.
There's this, like, oh, my gosh, well, what
am I going to do?
I didn't have it.
So, you know, but that's not the case.
There is plasticity in the brain that we're
constantly changing to constantly evolving.
And at any time, you can learn and
become a more improved version of yourself.
Right?
So let's see, I grew up, I grew
up around people who made me hate the
idea of femininity and the concept of motherhood.
Oh, my goodness, subhanAllah.
Can anyone else relate to this?
Did anyone else have this feeling like it's
it's negative?
What would they say about it?
That was so negative.
Let's see, Sister Eve, I'm not naturally a
feminine person due to upbringing.
Okay.
And culture, society told her to be strong.
Mostly, that is how it was.
Okay.
I get it.
And, you know, we we've all been kind
of bombarded with different images of what it
means to be a woman.
And it's a lot.
It is a lot.
And it can be overwhelming.
We want to be everything all at once.
And sometimes don't you just get exhausted?
Isn't it exhausting?
Because you feel like you have to have
to keep your home together.
You have to be the ideal, you know,
ideal wife, ideal parent, you got to provide
you need to earn.
And spiritually, you have to be aligned.
So it is it is a lot.
And when I talk about being feminine, first
of all, it is about doing away with
some of the misconceptions.
Yes, you get it.
You hear me, Sister?
Okay.
So it's doing away with some of that
misconceptions, right?
It is about that it's not a negative
word, being feminine, being in touch with that,
you know, your feminine presence, that doesn't have
to be something you look down on.
I have noticed that many of the clients
I've worked with kind of look down on
it.
When I say be more feminine, it's almost
like I know I don't I don't need
to do that.
I've never had to rely.
And this is what some sisters say I
never had to rely on my looks.
I rely on my intelligence.
I'm not telling you to stop being smart.
Actually, the smartest women are the ones who
can tap into that.
It's almost like, you know, you have, we
have that masculine and feminine energy.
And if you can tap into that, you're
more whole.
Sister Maria, it's not what they say.
It's what I observed over the years, and
the relationship dynamics they had with other people.
Okay, thank you for clarifying that.
Yes, we are impacted by all that we
see around us, right?
And so we need to what does it?
Let's see.
All right.
How can you be more playful?
What is the playfulness?
Because I find this.
This was one of the traits I saw
my mom embrace.
Allah have mercy on her for being such
a exemplary woman, mashallah.
And it's not just me, as her daughter
saying this, but anyone who met her found
her to be found her to be exceptional.
And she there was this striving towards being
a self actualized person, which that that has
been my goal.
I remember from when I was 16, I
took my first psychology course, and it was
all about being a self actualized person.
And this, this is something that, you know,
part of coming together on the Mindful Hearts
Academy is about teaching people how to be
more self actualized, how to be how to
be that best version of themselves, right?
So how can you be more playful?
What do you think?
What do you think about playfulness?
And what what role do you think it
plays in your, in your relationships, and in
being being a woman?
Let's see, I crave it.
I just don't have the right guide or
feel guilty for asking for the resources to
provide.
There's a strong lack of self esteem, confidence.
Oh, well, thank you so much for being
honest and open and vulnerable.
You know, it you, I think you have
spoken on behalf of many, many sisters, hundreds,
if not thousands, or millions of sisters, who
echo the same feeling that it's like, you
know, I feel guilty, there's guilt associated to
being feminine.
It's almost like something that like going backwards,
or it feels like something that I'm not,
I'm not being a strong woman, right?
And then what you tapped on self esteem,
self confidence, if you don't have self esteem
or self confidence, then you can't be your
own unique person.
It's always about sitting in, it's always about,
you know, doing what others are expecting you
to do, right?
What does society say?
What does what does my like my family
say, and you can't really be true to
yourself.
If you if you don't feel like you
have a voice, or you are important, or
you're worthwhile, what ends up happening is that
you feel like, okay, even even the things
that I want, maybe, maybe I'm wrong, maybe
I'm wrong to feel that way.
Maybe I'm wrong to want to be feminine,
because society is saying that this is this
is not a good thing.
But we have to also look at our
fitra, right?
We have to see it within an Islamic
framework.
And we can see the amazing examples of
women we have had in in our in
our history, and how they were so balanced,
and they were so powerful, and they were
yet so incredibly feminine.
Right?
We have the example of Khadija radiallahu anha.
She was very much in touch with her
femininity.
She was nurturing, she was loving, she provided
comfort to the Prophet at a time when
he was he was so overwhelmed.
He was so he was so just scared.
And he was trembling.
He didn't go to his sahaba.
He didn't go to his friends or family.
He went to his wife, Khadija radiallahu anha
because she held that space for him.
She was that source of strength and comfort
is that combination.
So I know that she has been one
of my favorite wives of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam.
And I hold her in such high esteem
as I do with all the other wives
as well.
Just has a special place in my heart.
And subhanAllah, if we want to model that
behavior, it's not she was not weak.
In the least bit.
She was extremely strong.
And we can develop that within ourselves.
I think the West programs us to be
more masculine and also as the eldest daughter
having to step in multiple roles.
It's difficult to tap into the femininity and
accept it when we get married.
Absolutely.
We are programmed to be more masculine and
to get ahead.
We need to develop masculine traits.
You know, and there's nothing wrong with adopting
some of those masculine traits.
There's nothing wrong with getting ahead.
I love a woman who is empowered, who
is successful, who is educated like that.
For me, I mean, this is what I
am like my life's passion is about empowering
women.
And it doesn't mean that if you're doing
all of that, and you're developing those traits
to get ahead in your in your work
in your career in your education doesn't mean
you can't be feminine at the same time.
It just takes some understanding.
It takes some developing the right skills, the
right mentality to, to know how to balance
it.
Okay.
I think one way to be playful is
to find humor and tough situations like love
at our own mistake.
Sister Maria, good job.
High five.
That is exactly it.
And when women aren't operating and embracing their
feminine energy and operating out of masculine energy,
it also completely dysregulates the nervous system and
imbalances the hormones.
There you go, Sister Anja.
High five.
You're absolutely right.
We are not aligned.
We feel and that's that's where the overwhelm
comes from.
Right?
Why are so many people overwhelmed?
It's not just about time management is not
just about Oh, taking on too much.
It's a whole mindset.
If you're busy, imagine you have like this
huge ball like you're trying to keep underwater
the whole time and it's, you know, it
takes all your energy, then you're gonna all
of a sudden explode.
So all that repressing, repressing that feminine side,
repressing what you naturally want, repressing, repressing, repressing,
this is what gets us out of whack.
Okay.
And I think another issue is also when
you get married and your spouse may not
be as masculine as you feel the need
to fill in the role also.
Yep.
That is a that is a big issue.
And, and even in those situations, okay, I
understand I have half my clients that come
in have that issue.
The man is not being masculine.
He's not stepping up.
He's not taking responsibility.
He's not taking action, not leading.
So the woman naturally has to step in.
Now in stepping in, there is a way
of balancing that there's a way of stepping
in, filling the gap, and yet maintaining your
feminine essence.
That that if you're able to do that,
it's amazing.
It's amazing for your relationship.
It's amazing for how fulfilled and how balanced
you feel.
You know, a lot of times when I
when I see individuals, I have had the
privilege of meeting 1000s of people through my
private practice.
And also, you know, traveling as an international
speaker, I meet so many individuals, so many
speakers, so many people who are Mashallah educated,
successful.
And it's very rare for me to see
them as being fully content, right?
They may have PhDs, but they're not fulfilled.
They may have a thriving business and be
multi millionaires, but they're not fulfilled.
They may have certain things that they have
achieved in their lives.
And they may have the spouse and the
kids and the home and and all of
the things that maybe is natural to crave.
But they're lacking.
There's a feeling of there's a lack and
I and I've noticed that those individuals that
are lacking that fulfillment have not tapped in
to that feminine energy.
They are so driven to success and to
academics and to all that.
And I like I said, I love all
those things.
Okay, I'm not saying don't do it.
But it's not balanced, right?
And so they become more male like they
develop male like characteristic, and they don't learn
how to dial it down.
Right.
And that's, that is a, an art.
It is a skill.
It is a science is something that can
be taught.
How do you dial it down and dial
it up?
Okay.
So let's see, as an unmarried, I love
how interactive you all are, Mashallah, lots of
intelligent, you know, feedback, Mashallah, as an unmarried
girl, I feel that I don't have opportunities
to be feminine.
Like there's nobody to nurture.
That's cute.
There's nobody to nurture.
I'm just at the stage where I'm starting
my career.
Okay, so turn 18, that you bring up
a good point, you're single.
And then how do you get in touch
with that feminine side, right?
And this is something we'll expand on.
And as we go through this, you can
find opportunities to be more nurturing, you know,
maybe maybe you can volunteer I remember when
I was I'm a very naturally nurturing person
naturally nurturing.
It's kind of a tongue twister.
And I you know, before I got married
before I had kids, I had a lot
a lot of love to give Mashallah Tabarak
Allah.
So I remember volunteering.
It was at Casa Esperanza, which was House
of Hope in in Houston.
And it was it was a home for
abused children.
I would go there every Sunday.
And I would go and spend time with
these children.
And it was it was really it tapped
into that feminine side, which was really beautiful.
Let's see.
Okay, so you said we said that sister,
Mary has a good point.
I would love to know how to deal
with that situation.
Okay, yes, that one now I need some
expand, we may need another may need another
webinar for that one.
Now, we talked about being playful, okay.
Being playful, one is cheerfulness.
I can't tell you the number of women
who are going around, and they will tell
me, okay, I'm not judging.
But they're like, you know, I was doing
a parenting course in a few of the
massages here in Dallas.
And they told me that I am a
sergeant in our house.
I'm a drill sergeant.
I am like, and like you see these
brow lines, you know, a lot of people,
they have the brow lines, because they're always
like, you know, they're just frowning, they're frowning
at everybody, right.
So try just being cheerful, the cheerfulness will
really make a difference.
You know, if I sit here like this,
versus even like, look, I tell my, my
clients, because some have a hard time smiling,
they're like, I am not used to it.
And they literally struggle their muscles.
It's like me telling someone to do a
yoga pose that they're not used to.
And they're like, Oh, I'm using muscles I've
never used before.
And I'm not I'm not making fun of
it.
I'm just telling the reality.
And so the smiling is kind of like
this uncomfortable, like, I don't really smile.
So I said, Okay, you don't have to
be like this.
But you can just be see that didn't
take a whole lot of energy.
So that just smiling, you joke around being
able to joke, joke with your, your spouse,
your kids joke with other people, not the
opposite gender.
Not to joke with everybody.
But just in the halal joke, you're playful,
you're lighthearted, okay?
And don't be serious all the time.
Right?
I mean, if you're serious all the time,
there are times you need to be serious.
There are times when it really calls for
you to be serious.
But if you're serious all the time, no
one's gonna want to be around you.
Right?
And then you have to create a fun
environment, whether it's with your friends, whether it's
with your family members, whether it's with your
spouse and children, you are the source of
that energy.
And obviously, there's a lot to learn about
how to develop these, right?
Because every one of these things that I'm
mentioning about being feminine, requires training, it requires
First of all, we have to get a
lot of one of you said you were
programmed, right?
So it's a deep programming of these beliefs.
It's about really learning how to be in
touch with yourself and let yourself embrace your
feminine essence, right?
It is it is a beautiful thing when
you learn how to do that.
And then what have you also said, learn
to laugh at yourself.
You know, I laugh about myself all the
time.
My kids, you know, I have adult children
ages 25, 22, and 19.
Mashallah Tabarak Allah.
They love to tease me about different things.
And you know what, I just go along
with it.
I laugh and I find that hilarious.
And my daughter actually, she she'll imitate me
and I'm like, Oh my god, she does
a great me.
If you ever get to see it, it's
like, it's identical, my word choice, my body
language.
I'm just I laugh at myself because also,
I had my mom as a Roma and
I could joke with her.
It wasn't like she had this fragile self
esteem, that if I joked with her, she'd
be like, don't do that.
And I learned to become very comfortable with
myself.
She built my self esteem to be extremely
strong, alhamdulillah.
And so then you're able to, to just,
you know, poke fun of yourself, right?
So common questions.
First of all, I want to make sure
that if you have any questions about, about
femininity, right, the car and if you have
it, definitely address it.
But I, I thought it's, let's see.
It's so hard to access when you're in
survival mode.
You're absolutely right.
And you shouldn't be in survival mode.
You know, if you are in survival mode
in your relationships, and then there's something wrong
and you need to, you need to evaluate
that.
And, you know, you need to be in
relationships that nurture, they nurture that side of
you.
Okay.
Let's see.
Great.
So we should be cheerful, smiley balance, have
our careers, nurture home, kids and husband and
cherish ourselves.
How do we exactly have it all?
Good question.
Good question.
I'm glad.
I'm glad you asked, because I do have
a step by step approach, which I mean,
we have a limited time in, in this
webinar, but I do have a step by
step approach in teaching that teaching the femininity.
What is your feminine essence?
Very good question.
Y'all are y'all are on top
of it.
I love this.
I love this audience that is so in
tune, interactive, and you really want to know
which which I love.
So, you know, in getting in touch with
your feminine side, this is this is like
I said, we have to deprogram first.
And then it's about nurturing certain characteristics, right?
There are certain characteristics that if you get
in touch with, like, and you know, what's
interesting, because our fitra, it's there, right?
It's kind of like, it is like you
have to, it's been buried, is what I
mean, that it doesn't have to be something
that you, it's completely foreign.
I mean, I know that with some people
may feel like not as natural.
But I bet if you, you know, I
help you to tap into that side of
yourself, then it will be you, you will
dig it out, right?
So it's a bit buried is what I'm
saying.
So some common questions.
So how, how to balance my femininity, right?
How to balance my femininity with the need
to be assertive and strong.
So you have to realize that being feminine,
femininity and strength are not mutually exclusive.
It's not like you're either strong, or you're
either feminine, you can have both.
And it's it's amazing when you learn to
have both.
And the example of like Khadija radiyallahu anha,
there's the example of Fatima radiyallahu anha, how
she was, she was a strong opinionated individual,
mashallah radiyallahu anha.
And when we learn that there are examples,
there are examples of women who have been
able to balance it.
And feminine strength is about being receptive.
It's about like, you don't have to arm
wrestle.
Yeah, I always tell my clients that if
you challenge your husband to arm wrestling, he's
going to be like, I went, right.
So there's, there's no need to have this,
you don't need to have a power struggle,
you don't need to be at war, right.
And when you are able to be in
your feminine essence, when you're able to just
be more in touch with your fitra of
being nurturing, of being nurturing, and being compassionate,
then you will be able to actually bring
out that those masculine traits, right.
And let's see, and then rooted in compassion,
intuition, and wisdom.
Okay.
Another common question is femininity about being passive
or submissive.
So this is what, you know, this people
think that it's just like, okay, that means
I don't have a voice.
That means I, you know, I don't, I
don't go with anything.
I go along with everything.
And if any of you have done my
programs, if you're on my mindful hearts Academy,
if you are on my five pillars of
marriage program, you know that I am never
teaching women to just, oh, just be submissive,
or just be patient, just take it, right.
I never ever want women to be in
an abusive relationship.
I never want them to just go along,
not have a voice, not have a personality.
On the contrary, I'm all about building.
It's about building women up.
It's about being confident in yourself, right.
And so femininity from an Islamic perspective is
actually a source of strength, dignity, and influence.
I mean, when we talk about influence, look
at the example of Om Salama, right, Om
Salama, this was, you know, at the time,
there was the, there was the Treaty of
Hudaybiyah.
And this, this treaty, nothing was in favor
of, of the Muslims at the time, but
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam found himself
like he had to agree in order for
things to basically, to move forward.
And at that time, they were going to
perform Hajj.
And all of a sudden, the Quraysh said,
Nope, you can't go.
And he was stuck.
And you know, the Sahaba, they were so
angry, they wanted to just, you know, fight,
and they wanted to get their rights.
And who did he turn to?
It was Om Salama, through her wisdom, through
her emotional stability, through her touch with that
feminine nurturing side, she said, Go ahead and
shave your head, and they will all follow
you.
This shows us that being feminine doesn't mean
you don't have a voice.
What a powerful position she was in powerful
position of influence.
And that's what happens.
If you know how to tap into that
feminine side, your husband will naturally want your
feedback, they will naturally come to you for
that comfort.
And you will naturally have a very powerful
influence, right?
And it's about reclaiming, right, you reclaim who
you are, you reclaim that fitra.
And there are the examples of Aisha and
Fatima.
Now, let's see, in a marriage, a woman
needs a flourishing environment, where she is allowed
to be herself in order to be in
her feminine essence.
In other words, she needs to be in
a loving environment.
You are right.
Absolutely.
You do need that environment.
Now, obviously, I always put a disclaimer, if
you're in an abusive relationship, if your spouse
has some psychological disorders, then definitely that is
another case, you have to get like professional
help and address it.
But in situations when you're just you're dealing
with an individual that may have their like
negative traits, we all have our negative qualities,
we all have our weaknesses.
And what I encourage women to do in
situations like that is that you have a
profound impact, you can have a profound impact
in the environment that is in your home,
right?
If it's not abusive, and you don't have
someone with psychological disorders, right?
In that in those situations, you you are
able you I like to empower my clients
to actually say no, I have a choice.
It's how what I bring to the table,
it's what I bring, then you're my spouse
is going to respond to be differently.
Okay, for a woman to know all that
is all this is only about half of
the success of husbands do not understand that
concept.
It is impossible to do on our home.
You know, definitely we need the you know,
when we have the husband and wife, that's
why when I do marriage counseling, and both
are involved, I can, I can educate and
train both.
But when even, you know, half the clients
that come in, it's only the it's like,
you know, only the wife, let's say that
comes in, sometimes it's only the husband, by
making changes in yourself, your spouse will respond
differently.
Alright, so the million dollar question, right is,
how can I learn to be more feminine?
Right?
How can I to be more feminine?
I mean, this is something where you have
been programmed for, you know, for decades.
And so how is it and this is
what I want to introduce to you.
I mean, today we talked if you liked
what you heard today, I want to introduce
you to a course that I'm teaching on
my mentorship program, feminine revival, you know, awaken
your inner light.
And this is going to be a seven,
eight weeks course on how to develop these
things.
Because as you well know, it's not something
that within 30 minutes, you can like all
of a sudden learn to be more feminine,
you can get a taste of it, you
can see why it is important, but to
really nurture it and develop it, right.
And what is this feminine revival?
All about it is about like reclaiming that
feminine energy, like what is that energy?
How do you tap into it?
And how do you balance it's about balancing
your your inner strength, right?
Because I don't want to teach anyone to
be weak, right?
It's about having the strength, but balancing it
out with grace, right.
And it's all about being whole.
It's about, you know, not overlooking an aspect
of yourself.
It's about tapping into all of your strength,
right?
And not suppressing your fitra.
So the fitra, what Allah has given us,
Allah knows us best.
And he has given us this, this natural
instinct.
And many times we just kind of bury
it, bury it, bury it.
And if you learn to, to bring it
out, and it's like living with peace, it'll
really help you to live with peace, right.
And it's also when you think about the
feminine revival course, and this is I'm so
incredibly excited because, you know, in the three
decades that I've been working with 1000s of
people, I've seen that this is one of
the biggest problems.
The sisters I work with have, it's like
not knowing what it means to be feminine,
either, either being completely submissive, no voice, no
self esteem, or being completely masculine, and not
keeping a balance, right.
And this has hurt the women that have
that I've worked with, and I want to
help you overcome that I want you to
actually be more balanced, more whole, it's not
about changing, changing you completely.
It's about, you know, it's just about being
more whole.
So you learn to align with your fitra.
fitra is your natural disposition, right?
And then you do you develop this feminine
energy.
If you those of you who are married,
you develop it, it's a feminine energy that
will bring out, I mean, you will you
charm your spouse, you will influence your spouse,
no longer have to arm wrestle, no longer
have to force and nag and do all
of that stuff.
Because when you have that natural essence, it
will, you will naturally bring out the masculine
side when you are more feminine, right?
A lot of times when a when a
woman comes into a relationship, and they're masculine,
then it becomes like, okay, it's war, right?
Their their fight instinct comes out.
So I will teach you how to actually
bring out that feminine side.
And where they will naturally want to protect
and be more nurturing, and be more protective
in a loving kind of way, right?
And it increases your emotional intimacy, right?
So if you are able to be more
feminine, more in touch with who you are,
then you're able to, to just be more
effective, you can communicate better, you're you don't
need to yell, you don't need to nag,
how lovely would it be to just stop
doing those things, right?
And, and then you'll have that emotional connection,
because it's no longer a war.
It's about, you know, it's about like becoming,
becoming more emotionally intimate with one another, right?
And it's healing through softness.
This is something that I'm going to be
talking about, how do you heal through softness,
whether you know, there's so many, so many
parents who come in, and they have, they've
lost their kids, they come to me when
they're when they're 18, when they're 21.
Oh, this one is on drugs, this one
is has, you know, is dating, this one
is leaving Islam.
And yeah, and, and they're like, you know,
fix, fix our kid, fix our teen.
And I tell them, like, what was happening
during, you know, their developmental stages?
What were you doing with them when they
were, when they were children, when they were
teens.
And really, a lot of it has to
do with harshness, or neglect.
But when you have that sense of softness,
and that ability to nurture, your kids will
flourish, they will, you will, you will be
their best friends, you will have that connection.
So when you heal that side of yourself,
then you're all your relationships will develop.
And then you restore peace in your home
and in your life.
So this is this is what the program
is is all about.
And it is going to be a course
on my mentorship program, the Mindful Hearts Academy.
And this is something that I started, alhamdulillah.
We started as a team, about five years
ago, alhamdulillah.
And it's, it's a transformative membership community.
So it's not just a course you take.
And it's like, good luck, you know, you're
on your own.
It is about being in a supportive environment.
It is a supportive sisterhood.
And it's ongoing guidance, because on a weekly
basis, every Thursday, there's live like I'm doing
today, right?
So this is part of it, I'm introducing
this next course, which is all about femininity.
And you'll meet with me live, you can
ask your questions, it'll be interactive, right?
And it's a step by step guideline for
healing and growing.
So many of the things I talked about,
right about being in touch being balanced, not,
you know, being able to have that self
confidence, right?
One of you said, I don't have self
confidence.
So the first lesson on the Mindful Hearts
Academy is about building your self confidence, your
self esteem.
So a lot of things have to be
in place in order for you to get
in touch with that feminine side.
So this you will get not just this
course on femininity, but as a whole membership,
and it's so affordable.
We've made it at a price that everyone
can afford, right?
It's $11 a month, it is very affordable.
And then you have this step by step
guideline for healing and growing.
And it's based on three decades of experience
working with 1000s of Muslims, right?
Alhamdulillah, it's all the things that I have
been, that I have learned, and I have
been applying.
So this is the Mindful Hearts Academy.
Now for so we have different tiers, right?
The different tiers, the tier that you just
get the videos, let's say those that I've
already recorded, and they are there, that's at
$11 a month.
But you will see Sister Aisha, if you
could put the right, let me see, if
you can put the link to the Mindful
Hearts Academy.
And that way, you can see that by
attending live, if you want to attend live
and have this interactive course, let's see this,
it is an amazing course, if you join,
you will transform, learn about yourself, be the
first version of yourself.
Mashallah, Sister Helene, high five, you are okay,
let's, if you could put the landing page,
not okay, Sister Aisha, if you could put
the landing page, please.
And we will put that for you.
Can we have the link of the course?
Sounds amazing.
Yes, absolutely.
Sister Helene, how long have you been on
the Mindful Hearts Academy, so that we can,
you know, Mashallah, she's been there, every week,
she comes on, and she's been transforming herself.
And let's see, Maria, yes, telling women that
they themselves can change the relationship dynamic opens
the doors wide for exploitation.
This only works for people who are healthy.
Many people have mental problems.
You're absolutely right.
Absolutely right that people have the issues.
And if they don't work on themselves, then
it's very difficult.
And what we need to do is, you
know, we work on ourselves, right, we need
to work on ourselves.
And when we work on ourselves, then we
will bring out the best in others.
So how long is the course, if it's
$11 a month is live every week.
Okay, so can we put that link up,
please, as the landing page for the feminine
revival, I would really appreciate that.
So the $11, that's for the Mindful Hearts
Academy that I have had, those are the
recorded ones.
Now, when you want to show up live,
and you will see that it is MashaAllah,
ongoing, okay, so you have access, it's a
resource, like think of it as a library
of self improvement, right?
It's a library of self improvement, and you
will be able to access it.
Okay, could we have the link, please?
I'm asking for the landing page link.
Yeah.
All right.
So tell me, if you have any questions
about like the Mindful Hearts Academy, the purpose
of it, okay, because I know that a
lot of people can't afford doing, they cannot
afford doing one on one counseling.
And many people would ask me, like, sister,
I really want to work on myself, I
want to, I want to heal from the
trauma, I want to learn how to be
emotionally stable, but I can't afford the counseling.
And so my heart really went out to
them.
And I made this specifically for individuals who
want to work on themselves.
And you will get a step by step
guideline in first, like building your self esteem,
building emotional intelligence, I mean, everything that I
work with, with clients, right?
They, everything that I work with, with clients
is in this program, but it's step by
step, right?
And when a person starts working on themselves,
what's amazing, I've seen people come in, and
they are broken.
I have seen people come in that they
are absolutely, they are broken, they have been
maybe divorced, maybe they were suicidal.
And what ends up happening is that they
actually transform.
And I had one sister, she was one
of our lovely volunteers, she told me, I
she's like, I couldn't even speak in front
of a class.
And after not only going through the program,
but she MashaAllah, because she was a volunteer,
because she was active, she gained the maximum
amount.
And just recently, she sent a video of
herself standing up for Palestine with a mic
in front of like such a large community.
And she said, it was because of Mindful
Hearts Academy.
She's like, it really nurtured me.
And one of the things she said is
having a mentorship, she's like, seeing you on
a week to week basis showing up speaking
up.
And this truly made the difference.
And so a person who really had, she
admittedly didn't have any self esteem, became so
strong.
And so, so powerful.
She's now leading youth groups, she's now speaking
in her community, she's now doing so many
things.
And I want that for each and every
one of you.
Now, some of you may be like the
super strong, super accomplished, and you need to
balance it out.
You need to have that emotional intelligence, you
need to know how to develop the wisdom
and developing boundaries, right?
Boundaries is so critical.
It's so critical to have boundaries when you're
developing your femininity, right?
Because I don't want you to have that
sense of, I don't want you to be
taken advantage of.
Right?
So let me just ask, okay, so I
don't want you to be taken advantage of.
So when you have, when you are able
to have the boundaries, so one lesson is
all one actually one phase is about setting
boundaries.
How do you how do you set healthy
boundaries with your in laws with your spouse
with your with you know, with family members?
How do you do that?
So that you are not taken advantage of
like and how do you overcome your insecurities?
So there's level one, there's level two, level
two is when we do the deep dive.
Level one, it sets the foundation.
I mean, it is this is like, Mashallah,
years and years of hard work, alhamdulillah.
And I see the I see the transformation
in people who, who apply this alhamdulillah.
And, you know, overcoming your insecurities, that let's
see, I found.
Okay, let's see.
I made it to the live alhamdulillah alhamdulillah.
So happy to have you.
Sister Fatima, since you've been on the mindful
hearts, tell, tell the viewers what the experience
has been like.
I found your YouTube videos around five years
ago at that time, just knowing someone like
you existed gave me hope.
May Allah subhana wa ta'ala reward you
for your work.
Alhamdulillah, you know, and this, this is my
goal.
My goal is to be able to, my
goal is to be able to create this
an example that I am I am working
on myself and I am making progress on
a daily basis.
I feel like I want to be a
student for life.
There are there's always things that I want
to improve on.
So we will go on this journey together.
And when you see that it is possible,
just like I had the example of my
mother that she was strong, confident, and accomplished,
and yet very feminine and nurturing, then that
for me is like, okay, it can be
done.
When I saw that she took very difficult
situations.
And she was absolutely very wise.
And she was very friendly.
It made me actually, you know, I had
a role model.
So I hope to provide that sense of,
you know, inspiration, that hope, and, and inshallah,
that together, you know, if we work on
ourself, not only so what are some of
the benefits you will get, first of all,
you will be at peace with yourself, when
you're working on your inner self, you know,
I find that mindfulness, mindfulness is the way
to Jannah, right?
Because being mindful of your, of your thoughts,
of your emotions, of your, of your behavior,
all of that will lead you to to
Jenna, right?
And then making sure that you're not being
in any way, like oppressive, right?
Because a lot of times, I have found
that in red, yes, we have examples of
men being oppressive in relationships, we know what
some of those examples are.
But there are also women who can be
oppressive in relationship, they can be very harsh,
they can, you know, lack affection, they can
punish by withdrawing love or intimacy.
And and that can create a lot of
issues and, and you're accumulating sins, right?
So a way to Jenna is by working
on yourself, right?
And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
the heaviest thing on the scale, heaviest thing
on the scale is what is having a
good character.
So this program, the Mindful Hearts Academy will
take you, you know, step by step in
becoming the best version of yourself.
Okay, Sister Fatima, I have been on since
2019.
I was super broken and felt like the
worst mom because I could not give my
children the best of me.
Joining Mindful Hearts has been the biggest game
changer.
Oh, to my emotions.
High five, Sister Fatima.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
Assalamualaikum.
I cannot find these different tiers you're talking
about on the website.
Can you please direct?
Sure, I will.
I will.
Just waiting for that link, inshallah.
My relationship with myself has improved significantly and
organically.
Let me see if, tell me, and organically
my relationships with my husband, children and family
have flourished.
I highly recommend signing up.
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
Masha'Allah.
Okay.
All right.
Let me show you how it is.
So I'm just looking for.
Okay.
All right.
So with you, okay, it is a self
-paced program.
All right.
It is a, it is a self-paced
program where you are able to watch at
your own pace, right?
And there are some people who are super
motivated and they go and they go through
the program.
And then there are those who may just
want to do it once in a while
when they need certain topics.
And then there is the weekly live.
The weekly live is what I do at
Thursdays at 1 p.m. And let me,
yeah, Thursdays at 1 p.m. And that's
when you show up live.
You can interact.
We will discuss.
We have a group that you can, you
know, post about it.
You can ask questions.
It's really, it's really powerful.
Alhamdulillah.
So, all right.
Let me know.
How do we access the feminine revival?
Okay.
I am getting that right now.
You know, I do, I do all the
content, the technical part.
And I'm just waiting.
I cannot get a recording of the lives
from the, we will address that.
Inshallah.
Thank you so much, Sister Helene.
There is a live every Thursday.
Every Thursday, there is a live at 1
p.m. at the same time that we
were doing this.
Mashallah.
So, for those of you who, who are
interested, what we will do is follow this
up with an email with the link.
So, all the lessons.
Yes, thank you.
She is like on it.
All the lessons.
Can we please have the link for it?
Okay.
All the lessons are recorded.
So, you can watch the program whenever you
like.
Yes.
And that, that's the beauty of it.
Right?
That is the beauty of it.
All right.
We got it.
All right.
Alhamdulillah.
All right.
So, here's the link for getting the course
to the feminine revival.
This will teach you.
Thank you so much for the clarification, Sister
Hala and Sister Helene.
So, if you, inshallah, want to learn how
to be more whole, how to be more
patient, how to be your, you know, your
absolute best, then I highly recommend not only
doing this, you know, the course on feminine
revival, because that, this will be a game
changer.
You know, I've never done a course on
this before.
It's been, it's been a journey of three
decades, combining all my experiences into this course.
So, I know it will be very, very
impactful, inshallah.
And then we're having Sister Fatima will check
into it.
All right.
And here, don't forget to sign up.
We will send you an email.
We'll send you a, you know, a replay
of this, if you'd like to watch it
again.
And I can't wait to see you, inshallah,
on the other side in the program.
And it will be starting next week.
So, next Thursday at 1pm, we'll get together
and, inshallah, really explore how to develop that
feminine charm, how to be whole, and how
to balance and be, bring out the best
in all of your relationships.
Let me know if there are any other
questions.
And if not, thank you so much for
joining in today.
I really appreciate it.
And we are so looking forward to having
you.
Salaam alaikum.