Haleh Banani – Transform Your Ramadan Discover ‘Pain Into Purpose’

			Salam Alaikum, and welcome to a mindful Ramadan 2020 For transformed by the light, we're going to
hear some amazing inspiring stories of converts. And I'm so excited to have a co host this year,
brother would do it who is the founder of maraca? So welcome, brother. And we'll do it. I'll do
let's as I call it fake Thank you for having me really excited about this series, we're excited to
have you I'm sure you're gonna add such an in depth look at mindfulness and about bringing out the
best in each other in sha Allah. And I'm really excited to have our guest today, Alia on Rayyan, who
has just been such a source of inspiration, you reached out to me last year, asking for me to read
		

			your book, you sent me your lovely book. And I said, you know, my Nia was to help another sister, I
love to see sisters and brothers in our community grown. And I did it in with that intention. Little
did I know that your book was going to transform my Ramadan. And here it is Ramadan reflections. And
let me tell you, you know, it's day by day as I was reading it and doing the work, I called your
book Insta horseshoe, because by the second page, I would go to Fudger stay there. And after I did
my prayers, I would read it. And on the second page, the tears would come. So I call it Insta
horseshoe.
		

			And I really I can't tell you how much this was a gift to me. I was doing it to help you. And it was
actually a gift to me to transform my Ramadan such as like Allah here and for that way, what I can
Salam, and thank you so much for this opportunity. And I was so touched by your your words about the
book, really. And truly, you know, I was just honored that you would read it. And to know that it
impacted your Ramadan is just everything. So thank you so much for that. And Hamdulillah. It's a
pleasure to have you. And so tell us about your journey, your journey in becoming a muslim and what
got you to write the book, it was not from either Rahim, I'm asked this question a lot. And it's
		

			interesting. I've been Muslim, coming up to 25 years in a few months time and show them a lot. And
you know, at the beginning, when people would ask me this question, it would be like a probably
about a 45 minute conversation. And now Now over the years, it's reduced. And now that I have this
YouTube interview that I gave on the YouTube channel towards eternity, I now say okay, you know,
it's all on the link, though.
		

			But summarize version of how I came to Islam. So I come from a mixed background, my mother is
Italian, our that is West African. And I think, you know, growing up with both cultures, neither
being white nor black being mixed race, there was always this sense of trying to find, you know,
belonging, I would say I was always a very reflective person, I would think deeply from a very, very
young age. And then Subhanallah at school, I became very, very close friends with a practicing
Muslim girl. And it was interesting, because I was very popular. I was, you know, I was kind of
mixed with the popular girls and a very, very kind of wild in my ways. And she was quite unique in
		

			that she was practicing wearing full hijab, she was very different. The other girls were
Subhanallah, we became very, very close friends. And I developed a great love for her. And I really
wanted to save her from what I thought and felt was this religion, this lifestyle that would really
hold her back in her view, I decided to start looking into Islam from a very arrogant perspective
and in trying to save her really and truly, we would debate she would pass me cassettes, cassettes
at the time, I would read articles we would discuss and debate and I would try to find something
something within Islam that could take her take her to a place where she would reconsider her
		

			beliefs. I mean, this is not me saying it now I feel quite embarrassed that I was that arrogant that
I thought from that which she had grown up with, was convinced by but anyway, you know, did I know
that during this journey, I started to become convinced myself.
		

			It was very scary. It was very, very scary. I was terrified by the way in which my heart and my mind
was changing. And I cut her out of my life. I'm just kind of giving you the summarized version. I
cut her out because it was very scary for one reason I am the type of person that if I believe in
something, I give it my 150% I don't do things by halves I really give it my all that's type of
person that I am so I knew that what I was slowly becoming convey
		

			hence why I was going to change my life and change it quite drastically. So I cut her out, I threw
away the cassettes and the articles and I just tried to rid myself of any reminders of Islam. But
somehow, what enters your hearts and what enters your mind, you can't run away from these things.
And so after some time, it caught up with me. And one day I went on the walk around, I was just
studying and I just wanted to kind of get some air. And I was just walking around my local area. And
I couldn't cross a road that I crossed regularly. And that was one reason why I couldn't cross
because I was scared that a car would hit me, I would wing what I knew, and what that would mean.
		

			And so I ran back home and I picked up the phone and called her she hadn't heard from me for such a
long time. And I said, I have to become Muslim, I have to testify to that which entered my heart
months ago. And then I became Muslim.
		

			Mashallah, love what an amazing story of that. So moving hearing how you met this girl, you got
inspired, but then the fear held you back. And then you realize that you know too much. Do not
embrace it. Yeah, there is this this interview when I was watching your story and your said
something about when you're eight years old, and you're standing by your window, and you're looking
across the street, and you're seeing the prairie of the masjid, those across the street, and you're
old, and you're kind of observing that. And then there was a situation of trauma or difficulty at
home, and you felt that he needed to come back to God and you automatically fell down on Sudduth.
		

			And we were just reflecting on that, that sometimes, rationally, our brain, and our intellect wants
to take us somewhere. But then at the end of the day, the the depth of our heart, our soul knows, or
soul recognizes. Do you want to talk about that a little bit? Yeah, I kind of missed that part out,
because it was not necessarily part of the immediate steps that took place that led to the Shahada.
This was many, many years before I even started to look into Islam. But it just even listened to
you. And obviously, I have shared this online that there were moments years before I even met this
particular friend, when my soul encountered on law. You know, one of these moments as you shared
		

			whether widowed is when I was eight years old. And you know, things were really, really tough at
home. My parents were constantly fighting, there was one particular fight that was worse than than
all the others. And as an eight year old, I would often find solace and comfort and escape in
observing this masjid, which was across the road. And I could see into this, like, it was a it was a
makeshift container at the time. And I could see the men bowing and praying, and I would love it, I
would find it fascinating. And this one day where this fight occurred, I ran to my bedroom. And I
felt like only God could stop this. Only God could solve this only God could provide me with the
		

			peace and the comfort that I was seeking. And as an eight year old, I imitated what I had observed
these times. And I went into sujood. And I spoke to God. And I prayed and I said, Make them stop.
And this I need this. And I know you can hear me and it's interesting as I as I'm narrating this
story again, because the answer for me is my life. I know that for many Muslims is very important,
but don't ask for me is just everything. And I think back to myself as an eight year old child and
spoke to my lords and I spoke to him in a way that is very similar to how I speak to Allah now as a
Muslim. But yes, Pamela sometimes I feel like when I look back, Allah azza wa jal, he places you in
		

			certain situations with intention, like I was meant to observe these Muslims praying, I was meant to
at that time, fall into sujood and feel that closeness to Allah and then two years later, I find
myself in a masjid, praying the Janaza prayer for my schoolmates who died on my birthday. And once
again, going into sujood as a non Muslim child and experiencing and encountering that closeness to
Allah once again. And this was again, Zs before I even started to look into Islam properly. It's
quite amazing how a lot of places you're born there, the sister Holly, I just want to point really
fast like she's just said the word experience. And somebody asked me we're doing a prophetic
		

			therapy, a class with educators, principals, school leaders around the country, and we're talking
about the importance of treating students on an experiential Salaat
		

			her honey, Shea when we've got so low will prevent you. So that will become the deterrence, Allah
will treat you. But then what type of Salah and Dr. Abdullah Rockman talks about taking it from
transactional to transformational. And in our work, we talk about mindfulness and presence of heart,
it takes it from ritualistic to experiential, and the experience that she's having as Muslims,
sometimes we miss on that experience, we're praying or five solo without that experience that
connection, that presence, you're so right. And when we have that, when we are absolutely when
mindful, that's when we transform our character, because the Prophet sallallahu sometimes has said
		

			that the heaviest thing on the scale is our good character. And so you find that people who don't
experience it, and they just go through the motions, they don't get the transformation of their
character, they don't become more patient and loving and understanding towards the people around
them. So that's so beautiful that you saw this, you applied it, and it impacted your heart, what
really resonated with me and your story was the fact that you described yourself as being very
popular, you're very accepted. And by becoming Muslim, you got rejected, you got rejected by your
friends, by your family, by your community, and even your mother or mother was just shocked with you
		

			becoming a muslim. And for me, it's very amazing how someone can take their pain and transform it. I
just did a series on transformation, through trauma and on the mentorship program, mindful Hearts
Academy, and it's all about how do you take that pain and not let it make you bitter? Not let it
deter you or JHU but actually have it transformed me and I see that you've done that. So can you
reflect on? How did you take that rejection, and then transform yourself and pass on that light
through your work? Mashallah, I think this is interesting, because I have to attribute this to my
mother, even though at the beginning, you know, when I first became Muslim things were really,
		

			really tough, and she rejected me. And she made things very difficult for me growing up as a child,
I would see that my mother always transformed pain into purpose. And I carried that on. And so it's
always been ingrained within me that whatever I experience, you know, whatever challenge and
difficulty I go through, I have the understanding that there is a reason behind it. And I had this
before Islam, so when I then became Muslim, and I realized that not only are we were we all created
to worship Allah subhanaw taala, that's our, you know, kind of generic purpose, we all have an
individual purpose. I know that whatever I go through whatever Allah spent, Allah has willed for me,
		

			there is great meaning behind it. And I just have to be the one to open the eyes of my heart and my
soul to discover what that is. And so this situation, you know, when I, when I became Muslim, it was
at a time where reverse converts, whichever term you'd like to use, were rare. So there were the
lack of support, you know, it's lack of organizations, you know, you really were struggling on your
own to kind of navigate this transition from, you know, Harvard, where it was very, very difficult
at that time. So that coupled with the challenges that I went through with family and members of the
Muslim community, it was tough. And I did stop practicing after a couple of years. And I think I
		

			mentioned this in the interview. And then I came back and I realized that Subhanallah What am I
going to learn from this? And how can I transform this experience of mine into something that is
going to be beautiful for others, because this is the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. This
is this, all the prophets that they went through difficulty, they went through challenges, they went
through rejection, but out of that came their own, you know, out of that came so much light. So for
me, what happened in 2010, so many, many years after I became Muslim, was that I knew that I could
not allow another woman who had embraced Islam, to go through difficulties on her own on supported
		

			and that's when I set up solace, which is a registered charity, which has been running for 13 years
now on the Shan Shan laws. We support Riva women who find themselves in difficulty so we deal with
all of the challenges and difficulties that come with embracing Islam. And I think, for me, even the
book, you know, the book that you mentioned, right at the beginning, a friend of mine who read the
book as an early reader before it was published said to me, earlier you wrote this book on your
hearts before you wrote it with your pen, meaning Allah to Allah will
		

			Hold for you to go through all the experiences that you went through so that you could write this
book. And I think that's all of us that all of our experiences have.
		

			But it's up to us to just sit with those with those experiences. See how they can translate into
something beautiful, don't you think brother would do that? It's your interpretation of those
events. Right? It is interpretation because she saw it as there is meaning to it. There is hikma it
is coming from a law she was able to turn it into such a positive experience that's driving us
somewhere that is a really beautiful like that one place when you said turning key to purpose. You
know, I want my girls I have teenage girls, they're both 13 their twin with two daughters. And I
want them to hear that right and one our teenagers to hear that life sometimes you're gonna be
		

			disappointed, you're gonna have failures, setbacks, and you're gonna turn those challenges and
setbacks and failures into purpose. And what a beautiful thing to say there and I was just thinking
from my mindfulness lens and that mindful Ramadan lens I was just thinking about that Allah subhanaw
taala makes us let go even though it's painful, lets us let go of distractions, your popularity and
all those connections and all those different things that it feels painful to having to let go all
of that and feel rejected, but what Allah is actually doing is getting you from distraction to focus
Yes, you know, like, you have no nowhere else to go nobody else to turn to see you now focusing and
		

			that awareness, it opens the door. Oh my gosh, okay, Lucha Allah Who Maharajah you know, that door
		

			opens when you come back to the conscious awareness of Allah and Allah is going to give you an
opening and this is why he's disconnected from others. Such a beautiful thing to be able to to say
later, and that time it doesn't feel great.
		

			But love that love that story. And that pain to purpose, masala masala, and how it cleanses us. When
we go through these painful experiences, I feel that it really cleanses us and makes us be a better
version of ourselves if we allow it. And the fact that you took this opportunity to help others, you
went through the pain, and you wanted to make it easier for the other sisters. So embrace Islam and
I. And I feel that if we all do that, because many times when people are hurt or they go through
difficulties, then they're only self absorbed and they're thinking about themselves, but to be able
to reach out and see how you can make the journey easier for others. That is the Prophetic way.
		

			Mashallah. So that's so amazing. So it's solace right in the UK? And how can people reach out to you
or to that organization? Sure. So yeah, it's solace UK, but we have some services that can be
accessed by river women from across the world. Our website is www dot Sollis uk.org. And we provide
a variety of services, we don't deal with the educational side, because we believe there are so many
patients and service professionals that already do that we deal with the things that you necessarily
won't hear about when someone becomes Muslim because I think reverse converts, they're put on a
pedestal, the celebration that they've entered into this is the focus, and then it ends there when
		

			actually that's the
		

			med log and this is where the support has to come in. And this because this is where the challenges
are. So yeah, so that's solace mashallah, mashallah amazing. And is it only for sisters or is for
sisters and brothers? No, at the moment it's only for sisters, but we hope to open up the others
being inshallah inshallah Allah may Allah put back at and you being able to do that. I mean, just I
have a question, as you're talking about solace. And as you're talking about your journey, we see
that a lot of times we are allowing our trauma or experiences shape us and sometimes take over our
best self, right? And then in your case, you're talking about, you've observed trotline, the home
		

			and you have gone through some of it yourself, and then you're trying to find not just healing for
yourself, but healing for others. How do you not let your trauma define who you are? I think, if I'm
totally honest, I think all of us will be impacted by the trauma that we've gone through, first of
all, yes. So I don't think we have been made to go through something incredibly painful and for it
not to shape us. I think the way that I see it is that I don't go through challenges and
difficulties and emerge unscathed. what does happen is that it changes my character. It changes my
perspective. It changes my approach to life. It develops perhaps an understanding and a level of
		

			empathy for other people who may be going through
		

			through something similar. So I see trauma and pain. As developing me, I see trauma and pain as a
loss to Allah watering me so that I can grow. I don't think I've ever been through something, and I
haven't been touched by it. I have been, I think everyone will be touched by the trauma and pain.
But I see it as touching me, having to feel through it, having to grieve having to be angry, having
to be sad, having to feel through all the emotions. And then when they pass, and I go through a
healing journey, what can I learn from this for future experiences? Are what can I use for this, if
I wish to help other people who are going through that? I don't know if that answers your question.
		

			But that's kind of how I approach trauma and pain. No, it's a beautiful answer. Initially, what you
said about accepting that experience and feeling it as a human being, we can't divorce ourselves
from the experiences that we go through. And it's such an important point that you meet, and we
don't deny our experiences. We don't deny our emotions, but we learn from our emotions. But I think
what you mentioned after that the cognitive frame of how you're talking to yourself, how you're
having that heart centered conversation with yourself to have a positive way of kind of reframing
that experience into your better self, you know, yeah, and I think where that comes from, if I'm
		

			honest, is my perception of a loss. pinata, Allah, you see, my can look at my experiences as life
experiences that disturbed me that broke me that caused me pain. Or I can look at every experience,
through the lens of there is a master, my master, who was an incredibly loving and merciful master,
and whatever he places on my path, there's a reason for it. And it's for a beautiful reason, because
he wants me to win in the next life.
		

			And so through that lens, I know that what I'm experiencing is painful, but there is something
better to come from it, because the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that there is always
		

			in every single situation. So though I may not see it, or feel it or experience it, now, I will,
there will be good that will come from it. So I think when you place an experience within the
context of your relationship with Allah, Spinetta Isla, it just changes your perception in your
approach completely. And I think for me, that's where that comes from. And you see it in the stories
that you share in the book. Brother, we did we have to get you that book.
		

			And it's
		

			Audible.
		

			Audible, okay.
		

			Yes, and you know, the stories that you share, and each heartbreaking story, and how you decide to
look at it from the perspective of like, Allah is guiding you, I like to call it divine injection,
and that it's painful, but it's to cure us, cure us from the diseases of the heart, and to cure us
from any ailments that we have. And it shapes us, it truly shapes us. So our relationship with how
you're seeing a lot and how you're interpreting it, because a powerful statement that I live by,
it's not the events in your life that shape you, but your interpretation of those events, and in
working with clients have hamdulillah the past 26 years, I have seen the transformation of people
		

			where they go from abuse, from neglect from hardship, from heartbreak, to completely being renewed
and enlightened. And it has a lot to do with what you said brother would do it about our mindset,
reframing it and allowing it to shape us we're talking about trauma, right, and we can't not think
about the collective trauma we're going through right now is the situation in Gaza in Palestine? How
do we connect this lessons of trauma to transformation in the context of the current trauma that
we're living through as an Oma? I know, it's a very big question. But if you allow me to open it up,
sister, Holly, you can absolutely you're seeing it because a lot of people see ASA as apocalyptic
		

			and endless darkness, but it has actually been a source of light for millions, how are you seeing
the light and how are you changed by it? I think when you see something like this on this scale, it
forces you to look at yourself and it forces you to really go back to the basics and to think about
your purpose that you are here and you will die and you will journey to Allah subhanaw taala when I
would look at pictures and watch videos, I would just think to myself Subhanallah I'm watching my
brothers and sisters being murdered. I'm watching my brothers and sisters being killed. And they
have left this
		

			Estonia, but I'm going to leave Estonia one day. And what position in what state? Do I wish to
return back to my Lord? So it changed me in that sense. And then it also made me consider what I'm
doing to be a part of the collective support. So am I enough? Am I really feeling the pain of my
Alma which translates into me waking up in the last parts of the night? Making the offer them? Am I
partying with my money? Am I creating awareness? You know, really, and truly, I had to put myself
and think, okay, so you believe in the prophets or salaams words that, you know, we don't want? Oh,
man, if one part, you know, aches, the rest of it shakes in fever. So are you. So it made me
		

			question that as well. So I think in regards to what brother would said, the trauma, the collective
trauma that we are experiencing, it changes us on an individual level in terms of our relationship
with Allah. But it also forces us to consider our position in how we are supporting how we are part
of the support of the ummah. So it should really motivate us and direct us to more individual
worship, and touch the things that are needed within us. So that our individual relationship with
Allah subhana, Allah is strengthened, but also our sense of support and sacrifice for the Omar at
large as well. Yes, I feel the verse that really resonates with me, it's one of my favorite verses
		

			of the Quran and nulla Hatha Yoga Yiruma bekamen, Hatha Yoga Yiruma beyond for saying that Allah
will not change the condition of the people until they change themselves. And I feel that this is a
great opportunity for us as an OMA to really take heed and really reflect and be mindful of our own
behavior, our own shortcomings, our own sense and change. In order to be worthy of that change that
needs to come from Allah, we need to earn it, we need to change and, and I feel that that's been a
powerful lesson.
		

			So that collective sacrifice and the collective
		

			leading to that collective transformation that we see across the map, people come back with that
sacrifice that only that difficulty is, you know, that wound opening the light. And this is
something that is connected to this concept of mindful Ramadan, that in Ramadan, what are we
sacrificing? It's not just about adding the quantity of things to our plate, but what am I ready to
sacrifice to get to my better self to transform myself? Is it a little bit of that sleep that sister
Alia mentioned to wake up 15 minutes before Fajr? You know, challenging myself first, for the Hajj,
and that crying to God, to alas Panatela. And I, we know that we're going to be sacrificing food for
		

			a certain time of the day, but what else? Are we really sacrificing deep down in ourselves that will
help me transform what is the one thing that I can sacrifice this form of them, that can help me
maybe it's a thought maybe it's a way of thinking maybe it's a preference of the heart or soul
enough, maybe it's a distraction of the mouse, you know, maybe it's a fault.
		

			Whatever it might be, that can help us get through that transformation. Sometimes going through that
sacrifice z coordinate for transformation, and to transform our relationships as well, right?
Because many times people want to ignore their spouse and their kids during Ramadan is like, this is
my time. Don't ask anything of me. I've had clients say that, that this is Don't ask anything. This
is my time with Allah. And they miss out on that opportunity to connect with their spouse, there's
treasures that we can earn and reward when we make sacrifices, even from maybe what we want to do in
order to please our spouse, our children, our family members and seeing it as an opportunity to
		

			transform our relationships as well because sometimes we get so self absorbed and focused, which we
need to do some of that, and then we miss out on seeing our relationships as a way to Jana.
Something that really resonated from what I read about you is how do you define freedom? And how do
you think Islam views women? Yeah, I know that a clip from my interview and towards eternity kind of
was shared quite a lot and I, I think I was asked this question and I said that freedom is removing
the shackles that are placed by people sis
		

			thems even yourself, that you no longer worship other than God's, you know, you only are enslaved to
God. And that is true freedom. Because we're all worshiping something Muslim, non Muslim, we are all
worshiping something, but to worship other than God means that you are shackled to that thing. But
when you worship our last one, it's Allah, that is when you are free, because you are worshiping the
one who is the creator, rather than something that is created. And so I really, truly believe that I
gained my freedom when I became Muslim, because I offered my soul to the one who fashioned and
created it, I returned back to into my natural inclination. So that's what freedom means. To me.
		

			That was very, very deep and profound, mashallah, because so many people are worshipping, whether
it's their appearance, you find that individuals get so obsessed by their appearance, that they
spend outrageous amounts on surgery, or they become obsessed with making money. And this leads to so
much inner turmoil. And they feel that they're running after something that is just not attainable.
It's all about appearances. It's all about gaining possessions. And so they are actually never free
because they're always looking at the person who has more, who is prettier, who has more money, more
prestige, and you find that freedom of submitting to Allah, it's beautiful. And I would love your
		

			reflections brother would do it on that freedom and how mindfulness contributes to finding that 3d a
beautiful story of Geneva sitting in the Kaaba and somebody coming in and donating some money and
said, Take this money and give it to people that need it. And Junaid looked at that person. He said
that, do you have money? And he said, Yes, I do. And that's why I'm giving it away. So do you want
more? He said, Yes, of course I want more. He said if you still have a need for more than you take
it back, because you haven't reached a place of contentment, on sell. So it's just an interesting
concept of freedom that when you are really focused on God, you are content with God. And that
		

			contentment and the peace that flows from the free from anybody else, the needing and wanting to
have validation from anyone else. So beautiful, beautiful reflection. And wonder from Sister Alia,
we're talking about Muslims that are journey to their best self, you know, your conversion story.
We're all on a path of conversion in terms of from our lower self to our higher self. And that story
and your key lessons, how can we transform ourselves this Ramadan? There are some beautiful points
you mentioned here. How can you transform ourselves from other for Muslims? And for listeners and
non listeners alike that are looking for God? How do we get to God? How do we find God? Well, I
		

			think it goes back to the reason why Ramadan was prescribed for us. And that was for us to attain
Taqwa. Yeah, so there's only one reason why we fasted Ramadan, and it's to become conscious of a
loss to Allah. And the book obviously goes into a lot of detail about this journey of taqwa, this
journey of where of Allah subhanaw taala. And I think transformation of oneself to a better self can
only be done. When you are transforming your relationship with Allah. I feel very, very strongly and
passionately about this. And I'm not sure if you agree as it's the highlighted the essential theme
in the book, that in order to heal from your past, in order to be more present in order to believe
		

			that you can attain your dreams, goals, you cannot do them in isolation of developing and
transforming your relationship with Allah Subhana Allah in fact, focusing on your relationship with
Allah developing that understanding and learning who he is making your relationship as a priority
with him is what transformed yourself isn't the other way around. You cannot transform yourself
without transforming your relationship with Allah because when you focus on your Lord, you're
focusing on the Astra. Because Allah is not in the dunya. Yeah. So the moment that you remove Allah
Spinetta Allah from the journey of transforming yourself, are limited by the tools that are
		

			available in the dunya. You're limited by your experiences in the dunya. You're limited by your own
limitations, but the moment that you focus on Allah, then your attention shifts to the asset or it
shifts to him, to what is possible through him and by
		

			To him, And subhanAllah the journey of transformation of self just takes on a whole different
meaning. And so I think it's just going back to the purpose of Ramadan is to be aware of him in the
every day. When you are breaking your fast, you realize, okay, I'm about to eat after not eating.
This is from my Lord, who provided me with the wealth to be able to buy food, who is the one that
has quenched my thirst? Who is the one that's waking me up at night, I'm able to wake up for
tahajjud it's my low turning to me in mercy. You know, who is the one who has provided me with a
spouse or children and relationships so that I can have further opportunity of her and rewards. It's
		

			the most merciful is becoming aware of Allah in the every day, that transforms our relationship with
Him, which then transforms our relationship with ourselves. Amazing, Mashallah. Mashallah, that's
incredible when you see the transformation through your relationship with Allah, and definitely,
that's why it's so important for us during this Ramadan to be truly mindful of a law and our
relationship and proving that and recognizing that every time we are experiencing hardship, it is
for a reason there's hikma in it, and to see the beauty of it and see it as a mercy. I think, when
you look at it as a mercy and you see that anything is possible through that draw is also freeing.
		

			What are your thoughts? Brother would do hamdulillah beautiful. And I was remembering as you're
talking about this one point where you said, after becoming Muslim, you came across this one group,
and then you were with that group for some time, and then you went to this other group, and then you
were with the other group for some time, and eventually gave up all of these. And you just connected
with Allah. And that really resonated with me, because, you know, I remember that overzealous
teenage self myself, you know, jumping from this scholar to that scholar this semester to that
masjid, you know, and my mom freaking out wondering, like, what does my child delete, and, you know,
		

			just being overzealous self to eventually when I started to, like, focus on how is my relationship
with God, you know, and so sometimes Ramadan needs, like, all these excitement and all these
connection to, you know, it's like, let's go to this place, or that place, or this or that, and then
we forget to transform who we are, or live in that state. When Nobody's there, it's just between me
and God, well, you bring up such an important point, because in that search, when people go from
group to group, sometimes they get burned, sometimes they get disappointed, sometimes the people
that they look up to just totally failed them, or mistreat them in some way. And what ends up
		

			happening sometimes is that people just isolate themselves, and they become very bitter and
resentful. So it's really important to recognize that we all have our shortcomings, and every group
they have, they have the good in them and then there's things that they could improve on, and not to
be so tainted by that because I've just seen a lot of people get stuck because they joined the group
and that group failed them or the scholar failed them and during this month, I really hope that we
revive our connection to the community and even though it is very important to do that individual
work, but not to isolate ourselves and not to be so tainted because there are great people out there
		

			that are practicing and that have the prophetic character Ma sha Allah and we're all on a journey of
healing and those who have gone astray May Allah purify us help us to recognize our own shortcomings
before we point out other people's flaws yeah just really appreciates Alia your last point and
sister Holly your wisdom to like really make my what I was trying to say complete that like in
Dallas we're so blessed we have so many beautiful places of massages and scholars and orlimar and of
course in our journey needs to be used to have some level of connection to our scholars and our
teachers and our massages but at the same time not just adding a lot of quantity without that
		

			quality and that transformation experiencing that's what sister that lesson that I took from
Australia story and and that's what I'm trying to say but at the same time I'd really appreciate
what you just mentioned to complete that. You can't do this in isolation either. Right after so
connect. We used to have our teachers in our schools and so beautiful beautiful Michelle May Allah
bless you all I feel like Sister Alia is more worthy of leading and leading us on Ramadan length.
Why is it so?
		

			Well, if you don't mind, maybe I can read one or $2 from my Oh, please do please do that's okay. And
I think I will. I'll read your book, right this is from your new eye.
		

			You told me about it. Tell us about a new book which is out I'm not sure when this particular
recording is going up but it's published on the 15th of February martial
		

			law and that's my second book and I've sent you one o'clock I can't wait to get it masala so
		

			your power at this is going to accompany me in this Ramadan in sha Allah. Oh one one that I'm truly
honored that you won. But I still I would perhaps maybe read parts of the DA is the last of my first
book Ramadan reflections if that's okay. Oh for sure is of course. Beautiful suggestion brother. Oh,
I do.
		

			Like welfare. Allah, Oh Allah You want my Lord, there is no god but you. You created me and I am
your slave and I remain faithful to your covenant and your promise as much as I can. I seek refuge
from you. I seek refuge with you from the wrongs of what I have done. I acknowledge your fevers upon
me and I admit my sins, so forgive me. For indeed none forgive sins except You. My Lord, have mercy
upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and send peace upon him. My beloved mostre attach every
part of my being to your paradise. You have promised your righteous believing servants what no eye
has ever seen what no ear has ever heard and that which then hearts can ever comprehend. You are the
		

			Almighty, the Oh wise, Yara be granting me the confidence and wisdom to choose how I journey to you
by way of my strengths and skills helped me identify that which I can work towards, that will make
you smile upon me. When you bring opportunities my way. Make me grab hold of each and every one and
run with them for you and to you. Oh Allah, when I feel like I'm changed by my worries and concerns.
Remind me that you are here, that you are my strength when I am weak, that you can make possible
that which I worry I cannot replace my foot hope in you that you will always bring me to that which
is best for me. I go into my future with hope that the deeper my connection is with you, the
		

			stronger my hope in how you will manage my affairs will be I placed my hope in you because you are
the most compassionate, most merciful, most laughing You will never let me down. You will always
hold me up. And on that note, Allah subhanaw taala we know that he will only hold this ummah up. He
will never let this OMA down. And we ask Allah Allah to Allah, to grant our brothers and sisters in
hodza in Sudan,
		

			in all the corners of the world where they are suffering, the steadfastness and the strength to hold
on to his rope. To hold on to the rope of Eman We ask Allah Subhana Allah to fill their hearts with
so much Taqwa so much consciousness of him, that they are able to be patients through the trials
that they are experiencing. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to enable us who are in a better
situation to be a means of help and support for them to strengthen us in our levels of generosity,
to strengthen our levels of faith, so that we can continue to raise awareness for them to continue
to be their voice when they have none. And to continue to support them in all means necessary I
		

			mean, mashallah on Main our main That was incredible, incredible draw. Thank you for sharing thank
you for coming on today and we were very enlightened and I inshallah all the viewers have benefited
as well. Does that qualify for inviting me it's been lovely speaking with you both swash Allah,
Sokoloff head and for tuning into a mindful Ramadan and we will hope to see you next time so