Channel: Haleh Banani
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
These are some of the most common reasons that children have a tantrum, there's nothing worse than when your child decides to have a tantrum. And if you're outside, if you're shopping, if you're at someone's home, it's even more overwhelming, and sometimes very embarrassing, but there are reasons why children are having these tension tantrums. And when you learn the reasons for this, then you're going to tune in, you're going to recognize them, and I'm going to teach you an acronym. Okay, I want you to remember this acronym halt h a, l, t. Okay? And once you know them, then you can kind of check this list and see
does your child fit into one of these? Okay, so the H stands for hunger, right? Hungry, they may be very hungry, and many kids become hangry. Right. So when they're getting hungry, they might act out, they may have the tantrum. So make sure when you're going out, have some snacks on hand, you know, what I always see is, and I remember when, when the kids were little, I always made it a point to to have snacks for the kids, like even if I went for a class or I was at a Masjid and just making sure that they don't get hungry. Because if they don't have anything to eat, and they are, they're hungry, and you're telling them you're expecting them to be good for the next two hours, when the
lecture finishes, they're gonna have a problem. So make sure that not they're not hungry. The A stands for agitated, agitated, right. So there may be something that is bothering them, they're frustrated. And it's so important to recognize that when kids are having a tantrum, there is a need, there is something that needs to be addressed. We don't want to just overlook it, right? We don't want to feed into it and like listen to maybe what they're demanding. However, we also don't want to, we don't want to just like overlook it completely, either. So the A is for agitated L is for being lonely. Sometimes kids have their tantrums because they're feeling lonely. And right now
during the pandemic, where, you know, there's lockdown, a lot of kids are not going out, they're not meeting up with their friends. This leads to a lot of loneliness. And, and if we're not careful about addressing that, if you're not, even if you set up maybe zoom calls, or maybe meeting in the park with other children, whatever, I don't know what your area where you're living, what they're allowing and what is permissible, but you need to figure out a way that your kids are connecting with other children because if they feel too lonely, and sometimes you need to connect with them, right, you're you may be so busy doing your work doing the housework that you're not really spending
time with your kids and, and they're just they're very, very lonely. And so they're having a tantrum, because they're just bored, you know, and the tea in halt is tired, okay, they may be very tired A lot of times, you know, when I when we're living in the Middle East, I saw kids who were being brought to the mall, the malls, there would stay open until like midnight, 1am. And the child is just, you know, crying and screaming and the parent is getting angry. And I'm just thinking, Okay, this poor child is just tired, it's tight, you know, his, you know, time to sleep and six, seven hours ago, right. And so, when your child gets tired, this is one of the main reasons that
they will have a tantrum. So I want you to always put yourself in your kids shoes, that Think about it. If you were if you didn't get enough sleep, let's say you only get you got a couple hours of sleep or you're extremely hungry. Or you're you know, you're feeling sad and depressed because you're lonely, you haven't met up with anyone you're very, you're tired, whatever it is, is going to affect your mood. Now hopefully, you're not going to have a tantrum. I have seen adults have quite a bit of tantrums as well in my profession. I see it all the time. And it's it's about learning to do the internal work learning to be more mature in how you handle these things. And, you know, I was
talking to a client that and have the lushy she said that she really feels like she's mature now. She joined the mindful Hearts Academy. And she's like before I used to have tantrums. I mean, she admitted it she's, you know, in her 40s and she admitted because all I knew how to do was yell and scream and you know and really throw a tantrum. And she said a year ago and have the llama Shah Tabata Kala she joined the mindful Hearts Academy and and she learned emotional intelligence because now she
So much more calm, her marriage has improved, she is just a more she's just evolved. She's just really evolved. Mashallah. So if you'd like to learn how to work on yourself, do the internal work overcome these tantrums because sometimes we are modeling the very behaviors that we dislike in our kids. So they're having these tantrums, maybe when you get tired and hungry and agitated and lonely, maybe you're having your own kind of meltdown or tantrum. So you got to learn how to manage that. And on the mindful Hearts Academy, and you can find it on hollub unani.com go under courses, okay. And, and I haven't there, you can sign up and be on the waiting list. Because once the registration
opens, you can be a part of it and really grow and develop. I mean, really, I want to serve you, I want to serve you and I want to help you to overcome that. I can't tell you how I felt when you know, when she told me that she feels she's like I finally feel like a mature adult because I have the tools. I know how to deal with my anger. I know how to deal with my frustration, I know how to talk to my husband, where I'm not insulting him or bossing him around. And even in dealing with my children, I'm so much more patient. So you have to learn how to deal with your own emotions and how you deal with all the you know, being tired and hungry and all of that in order for your kids to
look up to you and say wow, like mommy's got it down you know, or, you know, Daddy's that is a great example. He's, he's so tired, he's exhausted, but he's still smiling and he's still having a good attitude. So inshallah, if you'd like to be a part of that beautiful community, the mindful hearts calm actually, if you go to holla banani.com. Under courses, you will find a lot of resources and you can sign up for that as well. Take good care and sha Allah that Allah helps us all as parents to deal with our kids. With with so much patience and so much understanding during these very difficult times. Take care of thanks for tuning in Salaam Alaikum.