Haleh Banani – Huda Tonight – Dawah on Differernt levels

			As Salam aleikum, I'm Hala banana you welcome to inspirations with Khalid Fulani on Hooda tonight
Bismillah was salat wa salam ala Rasulillah. The subject of today's discussion is something we have
all struggled with, whether it be with a spouse or child who misses prayers, kids who are unsure of
Islam, relatives who don't follow the religion, or neighbors who simply want advice. For those of
you who may not know me, I'm a faith based counselor with over 25 years experience helping 1000s of
Muslims all over the world. And I'm the founder of mindful Hearts Academy, which is my mentorship
program. I frequently hear stories from fathers, mothers wives and husbands about how difficult it
		

			is for them to give Dawa to their own family members. One wife was telling me how she sees her
husband skipping prayers because he's watching TV. And when she reminds him of the prayer, he
responds, don't act like my mom. Then there was a husband who was frustrated that his wife's his job
was slowly coming off and when he tried to correct her, she felt that he was being controlling and
overbearing. Parents will come sobbing and heartbroken when they realize that their kids are hanging
out with the wrong crowd and questioning Islam are engaging in numerous haram activities and they
simply don't know what to do. People are frequently mistreated by family members or members of the
		

			community. And they're unsure how they can handle the situation. So if you or someone you know
struggle with these issues, you've got to watch today's episode on giving effective Dawa. You will
be able to call in live and ask your questions in sha Allah. We will take a short break and when we
return I will introduce our guests for today's shows inshallah.
		

			Jobs are impacted, marriages are impacted children are impacted communities are impacted you have to
want to know how to deal with the changes you have to be eager to meet some successful Muslim you
can't live in this world and not be mindful of your purpose. I think we can all use some
inspiration.
		

			I'm your sister Khalid Banani trailblazers, changemakers community builders, we will meet the men
and women who have left an impact on our Muslim society, the role models the activist and the modern
day heroes. This is a show where you'll meet some really interesting people, psychologists,
athletes, artists and entrepreneurs, successful Muslims that are being themselves and having
insightful conversation. If ever there was a time that we need faith and motivation from real people
in real situations. It's now join me live every Sunday 4pm Central midnight Mecca time on Hooda TV.
		

			Salam aleikum and welcome back to inspirations. I'm your host, Hala Banani. It's a pleasure to have
our guest today, Chef, Amrita Bohr, who has been presenting on Hooda TV and other satellite
stations. Originally from Egypt. He's been a student at Alas, had from elementary all the way to the
master's program, then becoming a professor at as her university. He's had the unique experience of
being immersed in two cultures and doing Dawa in both the US and Egypt. Being in a mom for 15 years
in North Carolina, Florida and California. He was faced with a plethora of challenges dealing with
community members and
		

			asking for advice about marriages and about parenting and everything in between. We can be sure that
he will shed some light on giving effective Dawa in sha Allah Salam aleikum Schiff
		

			when welcome you slam on the line. Hello, thank you for hosting me and it's a pleasure to be with
you. It's a pleasure to have you mashallah, you know, something people may not know about you is
that you hold several sports metals and national competitions in Egypt. Tell us about that. And what
sport Did you compete in?
		

			Well, that's history. Anyways, so during the time of college, so I love sports. They actually just
came from a soccer game right now, followed by some swimming, but I used to do some sports
proficiently. During the college I played the Catlin, I play tennis, I played
		

			and I'm talking national level. So that's amazing. But your true passion is giving Dawa you
dedicated your life to studying the deen and then teaching it What inspired you to do this?
		

			I think it's my destiny. Allah knows best because my dad just picked me up and put me in as her. He
didn't do the same with my two other siblings for some reason. Both of them finished memorizing the
Quran and they are religious and everything but one is an engineer, the other is a pharmacist. I
think it was I was destined to, to do this. And then I did it. I just I just found myself studying
and improving. And then I chose to
		

			do Islamic studies in English. And then I was after graduating I was I took the academic field and I
was working also with media here in Egypt.
		

			before Allah subhanaw taala opens the door of Dawa for me in the US which is what I studied to do
actually giving Dawa in English so it's all the destiny of Allah subhanaw taala and it's such an
honor to
		

			200 Mashallah, that's that's truly amazing that your your father singled you out and you pursued
your education and being at a mom for 15 years in the US, you must have heard it. All right. I'm
sure that you've heard it all. So do you see any differences in the issues and problems from the US
and Egypt?
		

			Well, wonderful, and profound question.
		

			I would say human beings are human beings wherever you go. So complicated as they are, as we are.
		

			However, the circumstances are different. And that will dictate some different way of reacting. It's
not totally different. It's just the you cannot just say that hour in the US because even the
circumstances in one
		

			town is different from the other town, in one for for one age group is different than another age
group. So it really depends on the setup, the time the person that's giving Dawa the person that's
receiving. Dawa, however Dawa is universal, whatever you could be true. So you see that they're
universal issues, but then you have to kind of cater depending on the differences and so am I'm Noah
we said that this one Hedy, there's one Hadith that encapsulates the entire religion and some
scholars said it's 1/4 of the religion which is a deen in se ha, the religion is nwsc Ha, and that
si has a comprehensive meaning, which is not just advice because a hadith says that he had to Allah
		

			the book, the Prophet salaallah alayhi wa sallam, the leaders of the Muslims and the common folk. So
it can be translated into truthfulness, sincerity and loving as well. So if the whole religion is
equated to giving advice, we better know how to do it. Right. So giving, we'll start off, we'll
break it apart and focus on one segment of the population at a time giving Dawa to your spouse. So
I've heard of clients who, let's say, they get married, they're both very liberal. And then
suddenly, the husband has an epiphany, he becomes religious, and he expects his wife to change with
him, maybe, you know, putting on this job, and then it changes a lot of issues brings up a lot of
		

			problems in the marriage. So what is your advice to someone who wants their spouse to be more
practicing?
		

			Again, thank you for the good question. And I will just take you back a little bit, just one step
back to the day
		

			admission of nausea high because that's the word that was going back and forth in my mind I'm just
as you speaking I remember what I heard long time ago from one of my teachers who was explaining the
term Nasi have for us because it's such such a heavy Hadith when the Prophet sallallahu wasallam
equates the whole Deen to this one term not see Dean and not see Dean equals don't see how old it is
not see her so what is no see how is it just giving advice and like you said many things are being
lost in the translation or into the surface understanding the way he explained it. He said let's
look at Arabic Nasi Hai is from the verb or the root stem nap saw her now saw her in Arabic is means
		

			two things is from NASA Hela cell which is to make that action to the honey which is basically
filtering the honey you know when they get the honey they harvest the honey its role, then they make
some kind of no see how they filter it so it becomes pure and clean and ready to use. This is one
meaning he said the other meaning in Arabic is for now saw had is when you have some kind of
		

			a tear in your cloth and you are suing it or you're fixing it or patching it. That's no see. And
that takes us directly to the meaning of the deal no so you have you know a deal No sweetheart deal
is you're you're trying to fix the problem that you're faced with it happens to be with someone else
in this case, you're not trying to point the finger you are rather trying to fix that kind of
problem filtering that action or saying or helping that person be pure, be cleaner be better. That
is the meaning of nausea. Moving to the to reflect on those two descriptions I think that really
clarifies purifying, and also mending. So those are really good to keep in mind that we need to
		

			purify ourselves purify the other person and they were mending what is broken. So it's like a
locket.
		

			Yeah, that's true. So if we I think if we keep this in mind, and move with it, as we are making a
memorable mouth nanny and monk are giving us a hug giving advice. I think it will help us a lot it
will, it will make our end diverse to fix or to give no see.
		

			very fruitful and very effective in sha Allah, if the goal and intention is to fix and amend and
purify and help the other person.
		

			Right. So let's say if a spouse is finding that they're, you know, they've made changes and their
spouse is kind of lagging behind and they want them to make the same changes. What would you say in
that situation? And what's the result of someone enforcing a practice that maybe the other person is
not ready? He's not ready to embrace?
		

			Very good question. And we face this all the time, anybody who deals with couples or communities, he
or she will know exactly what you're talking about. Because that comes all the time as we evolve and
we change we change in our life, even at the level of our deen we are here at one year or one time
and then we are here and then we expect others to correspond to where we are, and so on. But let me
just draw your attention to something that's really very important. And this I learned also from one
of our scholars, may Allah bless him. Many times we think as a husband or as a wife, as somebody who
is in a partnership in marriage. In other words, partnership, we think that we are in a position to
		

			fix the other person or even give that away to the other person in the sense of dictating things or
directing things. That's not true. That is not true. We have to choose the right person from the
beginning. We by the time we are in a position to make the decision to get married. You cannot get
married before you are an adult Islamically and by any law and what have you this is the time where
we are fully formed the way we look at life and everything Yes, there is still a room to grow up
together and help one another in this I'm going to talk about but honestly it's it's there. Many
times we've we fool ourselves honestly we deceive ourselves
		

			If we think oh he is having an I'm talking about critical issues, that person got some critical
issues, we will fix it down the road, Allah will forgive, I will, Allah will help me fix him you're
not in a position you're not getting into, into a relationship to fix one another. That's my
understanding of marriage. You're not getting into a relationship to fix your wife or wife fixing
the husband, or making a drastic change into their life. Honestly, this is that critical point. It's
critical that you bring up right.
		

			Yeah, many, many of us get to the marriage. Thinking that yeah, it's simple. It's easy. I'm going to
sway the way you're a bad person, bring them my way. This is this is this is not this is not what
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did in his marriages. Because because the dean of Aisha Radi
Allahu Allah and she happens to be the wife of the prophets of Allah isn't the leader of this thing.
But her deen is her Deen. She is addressed by Allah subhanaw taala directly to do 1234 Whatever the
a woman, a wife, in this case, a young woman is addressed to do her husband is addressing to do
certain things. It's they're dealing with Allah subhanaw taala. That's not to say it's everybody
		

			separate. We're not separate. But we can definitely look down on what is a lifelong process. We're
supposed to live this Deen first. So we will give that away directly and indirectly, will lie
yesterday. It just came to my mind.
		

			A young person just told me this and it made my day yesterday. He is somebody that I met maybe two
or three times in my lifetime. He's a young student at the college where I am back now to teach. I
never taught him or anything. He just came to know about me being an imam in America and what have
you. And he was taking the same path. He was telling me yesterday, we just happened to meet one
another. He said, My mom was always telling me study well to be like shift such and such. And she
mentioned she mentioned couple of good examples. And to be like Amber, myself. And I said, Oh my
God, I am somehow affecting some people or setting a role model for some people that I don't even
		

			know. So the point is, all of us, you don't have to be an imam to do this. You are already as you go
about your day, you are giving Dawa to the people around you to your family to your kids. So it's
better to live this theme and act upon this theme on a on a daily basis. Before you can even think
of giving that were the one form of giving Dawa of the verbal Dawa is that that's what many of us
think is what that is about. Or many of us might think that way is to non Muslims. Now is actually
is the call the call for this. The it's a call for for prayer call on one another. I call on
everybody right now. I was lit as we just finished our dinner right now. And I was telling my family
		

			Oh, tomorrow is Ashura. I was reminding them tomorrow is fasting in sha Allah, we remind one another
you remind everybody right now, this is a call from Allah to fast the moral Allah as we go, that was
going to be all around us. Mashallah, very profound statements that you made. First, to say that you
are not your job is not to fix your spouse, your spouse is not a project. And when people go in,
even when they're going into a marriage, and they're choosing someone and think, you know, they just
have to, you know, they just need to become maybe more religious, or they need to change their
profession, and you're in it to change them, that can become problematic. So that was that was great
		

			advice not to go in with this, fix that hat on. And then about the importance of practicing what
you're preaching, the importance of being an example. So focusing on yourself, your behavior and how
you're treating the people around you, rather than just focusing on the verbal because usually, as
you said, most people think Dawa is just, you know, telling people what to do and correcting them.
So thank you for bringing that to, you know, in focus. Mashallah. And what do you think is the most
effective way, let's say for a wife to influence her husband to become more religious, because
somehow that can be a bit more challenging. Do you have any advice for the sisters?
		

			Again, as long as we don't have critical, big critical rocks in terms of the big masliah Being
		

			In apply that's missing, we can deal with the other things, but even with those big Milesi that will
affect you know, because not all malice you not all action of disobedient or haram fall into the
same level we're talking about things that would affect me as husband and wife. Yes, we share life
but you know, there are a lot of actually most of the deen is going to be personal is going to be my
choices of doing things, but the things that will affect our relationship, this I have a say, in I
have, you know, as we are husband and wife, I have to have a say and I have to help you or we have
to come into agreement that from the beginning, actually you should we should come into agreement.
		

			First of all that this relationship is based upon what Allah says that's what the whole contract is
about. The we get together as we go to an imam or go to the masjid we get together on the book of
Allah on the Sunnah of Rasulullah saw Salam, this is the fun the foundation, this is the the main
thing that we build our life upon. So if you come across some issues in your spouse, then before we
get emotional before we start judging before we compare them to others, before we do any of these
ineffective ways or things, we need to think what would work best with that person, look at the goal
first, what is the goal, because if the goal is
		

			the intention to do something good, but if I tell that person to do this good thing, right now, it
might lead to more than being involved in more bad things, then I shouldn't even say this and the
big from from the in the first place. So as a wife, you should know your husband inside out. That's
to begin with, when you should pick the time to talk to not only about giving Tao actually about
anything, in your in your life as you're managing your life, choose the time, choose the right
setup, give them hints, then things will be will be effective in sha Allah,
		

			we should develop a way to discuss things in our life. as husband and wife, this is one of the
techniques I would always suggest to husband and wife. You know, don't don't let don't do not let us
take our life for granted. We are married we are together, we have been together for that many
years. It's okay, now we need from time to time we need to sit and get a nice, you know, whatever
the setup could be cup of coffee cup of tea and talk this is just to talk about how are you doing?
How are we doing in our life? What are you happy, what makes you
		

			more like happier, what could be some of the things that revision some auditing for
		

			our year, or month or whatever it could be you choose, but we talk about it. When we talk about
this, when we have a time like this, maybe we can talk about that smoking thing, or the hijab thing.
And let's not keep repeating it pointing finger, I told you many times you have to stop this, you
have to do this, it's not going to be effective.
		

			That way, we'll have many other tools, maybe helping that person, if they stop for a day or two,
let's say smoking as an example. Maybe give them a treat, you know, we're human beings. And as a
wife, you should know better how to treat your husband, you should know what is the right the right
time to talk to him, you should know how to deal with them. You should know when your talk is going
to be effective. You should know how to treat him if he did good and the husband as well. He should
know his wife pretty well. Otherwise, if they don't have communication in the first place, then no
Dawa will be effective. No, probably life itself won't be
		

			very true. The point is connect before you correct. So we have to make sure that we're connecting
with our spouse, we're putting in the emotional deposits, we're getting to know them, we have to
know Him, as you said inside out to be able to have an effective impact on them. So that was a
really critical point that you're brought up to connect before correcting and that the fact that
it's, you know, with men, I would say that they crave respect and one of the things if as a wife,
you can try to fulfill that by saying you know, I want you to be my mom, I would love for you to
lead me in the prayer. I would love to hear your voice. I miss your voice and presenting it in that
		

			way rather than did you pray or have you done your prayers then it'd be easy
		

			The situation in sha Allah. But thank you for your points. Now, what we see is that, you know, a lot
of parents become hyper focused on rituals of praying memorizing Quran or putting on the hijab. And
they become very strict, they're rigid, they're harsh, and sometimes without realizing that they're
actually pushing their children away from Islam. So what do you think is critical in giving Dawa to
our children?
		

			Talking about our children, this is very important, you do not come when they are even six years
old, and start working with them, let alone 10 and 15. And what have you, it's not going to work,
it's simply not going to work. You have to plan you know, plan make make this family is your
lifetime project, kids lifetime project, before they come choose the right spouse, I'm talking to
both of them to the sister choose the right husband, who would lead and teach you and the kids, the
husband, choose the right wife, who will be in the same
		

			band with you in the same level with you, teaching your kids and, and following up with them and
taking care of them. Then you have to study from like early on, we all see those kids who do the hip
hop things and do whatever they they are taught. Those kids will memorize so many, like big words or
many other languages, we see them Steve Harvey shows whatever other shows, they sometimes bring
those kids whose families invest in them to be talented one way or the other. So if you want your
kids to, let's say, memorize for I know, everybody is passionate about this, I am a half as myself,
it does not start, like when you are old, when you're I mean when you're seven, or eight or nine or
		

			10 or 15, it does not begin there. Unless the kids choose.
		

			Memorizing the Quran is a process, it's like it's like taking a 10 year old
		

			boy or girl and putting them in school, it's you have to go back and study from early on, you have
to take the alphabet and then move on to the words and that the process as we know same thing with
Fortran, it's it begins early on, I'm not saying memorizing is early on, you have to introduce them
into into air, you have to have a system first of all, because memorization is going to be like
dedication of like couple of hours, at least every day, from their time, if they are not used to
this from, in my opinion from two or three when they are two or three years old that tool three
hours from the beginning, but at least introduction or exposure to some aid and then making this
		

			part of their day like school, whether they like it or not school, most kids don't like school,
let's be honest. But they know this is something they have to do. But you don't wait until they are
10 and then introduce them to school you don't wait until you're 15 Then introduce them to school.
I'm not saying it's always too late, but it's not going to be as effective.
		

			So ugly, right? Yes, it's a process you have to lead by example, you have to have this program for
them. You have to facilitate things for them. But also,
		

			you know, forcing kids to do things is not going to be this is not the way of the Prophet alayhi
salat wa salam, it's not his way. His way was never forcing anything on anybody but rather making
them love it. I know sometimes, we there are always extremes. One extreme is forcing something on
the kids and you have to be half as look at the son of who is not going to work or making it super
fun in such a way that if the kids get bored at any point, that means the program is not successful.
They have it has to have fun all through. There's always one way somewhere in the middle where we
design a program for the kids they know they have to put some effort in here family is helping a
		

			good teacher in their appropriate a nice well organized program that might have some fun and some
other parts as well. This is what we need to
		

			this is how we need to introduce Islam in general to our kids not as a subject in a school that they
study and they will finish and they will
		

			be questioned or they will be shown into like a showcase Oh, this is my son he finished how many
soars it's not like this. It is it is like being worried about their well being offering them
healthy food on a daily basis not once or twice, making sure that they they go to you know all of
the
		

			He's practices and sports tickets as we take care of their body and well being and health. Same
thing with Islam, take care of their faith, their Deen refine what they have learned, talk to them
and let them talk to you. What did they hear today in the school? Would this make sense? And does it
make sense ideas about God in general? Who is Allah? Where? Where is Allah? Why is this happening?
Talk about wars, kids, usually when who alive? When I, when I had my Holocaust with kids, the most
interesting questions come from them. When we have those Holocaust with adults, it's always like,
pretty formal or something. But with kids, they have no limits. They asked me questions I love. And
		

			sometimes it's like, really, really close your way. That's That's incredible. Michelle, well, you
brought up really critical points. One is that, you know, you you really have to know how to
approach the kids first, the fact that you said you know, let's back up, right, let's back up and
make sure you find the right spouse, you approach it from very early on, I have three children grown
children, mashallah ages 2320 and 17. And I know, it started while I was pregnant, right? I would
the dollars that I made for them the education I acquired myself. And so it does take a you know,
step by step, you have to be aware. And I love the fact that you use the example of the T training
		

			and for anything to be talented, like let's say, I had a friend of mine who was a Olympic champion,
mashallah she started skiing when she was three, they cannot take a 13 year old teaching them how to
ski for the first time or an 18 year old, they will not be successful at that. And so many people
come and they bring their 18 year old is like, Please give them a crash course in a slum. And we it
can't be done. So thank you for that, that was that was very important points to keep in mind. And
when giving Dawa to non practicing Muslims, you know, we all have family that may not be practicing.
So they and it becomes very difficult to put some guidelines, so many become focused on correcting
		

			and judging which pushes and pushes them away. And I have seen with many comfort converts, it's
depending on how they change for the better to have a positive impact. So what is the best form of
Dawa when it comes to family members?
		

			That will go back to the same point, actions, actions, actions, how do you live your Islam is what's
going to speak the loudest, you know, and it's it doesn't have to be prayer in the streets. This is
very good. And I have seen people coming to Islam because they saw a sister praying in the street.
This is a true story. And but it's like, again, they I'm talking to examples from my life. When I
used to live there, it's Ramadan time I share some soup with the special soup of Ramadan with the
neighbors, letting them know that this is my religion. That's what I'm doing right now. That's
neighbors in general, family members. Same thing. Let's see what what does Islam say about dealing
		

			with family members being by they have they have to see you different being different from others
with them? Like you are by their by their side, when they need your help? You're always there for
them when they need you. You're supporting them unconditionally? They you should you should set your
limits and boundaries with everybody to begin with. I'm a Muslim, these are the things I do. These
are the things they cannot do. I'm not talking about, you know, being these, you know, not clear,
no, they would know who you are, what do you do? What do you believe, but then away from these
boundaries, you deal with them as human beings as relatives, they have the rights, they have many
		

			rights over you, especially if they are neighbors, they have rights because they are relatives, and
you have the right or the obligation to maintain this relationship. I'm pretty sure if you show them
the beauty of Islam through actions rather than talking. They will be the ones who will come and
ask. And I would say a huge portion of people who come to accept Islam I give them Islam as an imam
in the States, many of them big number of them are family members of converts or people who accept
Islam. Actually, couple of years ago,
		

			I was making a contract marriage contract for a Muslim brother and a sister. Both of them are
conference they invited the
		

			have families it was in California, they had families coming, flying from New York from other parts
of the, of the country. And I they asked me to say a word in, like five minutes, 10 minutes I made
the contract. And I said, this little word about Islam and the beauty of Islam, the beauty of
marriage in general, in Islam, the brother told me that same night, two of his family members
decided to accept Islam. So
		

			you know, the time will come that if they see the beauty of Islam and BC if they hear about it, and
they see through your actions, they will come to ask you about Islam. And then it's
		

			the lectures the these kinds of, of lecturing them or or telling them or these are the five pillars
of Islam, these are, this is what you have to do what you're doing is wrong, ineffective, you find
it ineffective. So you're boiling it down to having the correct behavior, to showing love, kindness,
generosity, being there for them. And when you're at love when your character is beautiful when you
emulate the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam with the way you treat them and how you help them then
they will definitely be more open and more receptive to wanting to learn about Islam just like a
Lafayette on share
		

			the board you really benefited us with your knowledge, mashallah, and the beautiful advice you gave
us. So may Allah reward you reward your family for all the effort that you're putting for the
communities. And we really appreciate your time and your effort by sha Allah. Thank you very much
just said Hala. It's, it's my pleasure to be with you and may Allah Subhana Allah bless you. And
again, a reminder for all the viewers that tomorrow in sha Allah is a day of Ashura fasting that day
will exceed the sense of one full year in sha Allah and that's my gift sharing the gift of the
Prophet sallallahu Sallam with every one of you myself I just like a locker for that important
		

			reminder thank you so much does like a lot of faded. We will take a short break and we will when we
come back I will discuss the valuable lessons on giving effective Dawa when from the episode on
inspiration so like allocating.
		

			Jobs are impacted, marriages are impacted children are impacted communities are impacted. You have
to want to know how to deal with the changes you have to be eager to meet some successful Muslim you
can't live in this world and not be mindful of your purpose. I think we can all use some
inspiration.
		

			I'm your sister Khalid Banani Trailblazers changemakers community builders, we will meet the men and
women who have left an impact on our Muslim society, the role models the activist and the modern day
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conversation. If ever there was a time that we need faith and motivation from real people in real
situations. It's now join me live every Sunday 4pm Central midnight Mecca time on Hooda TV.
		

			Welcome back to inspirations we've all struggled in situations where we need to give advice or data
to our family or community members. It can be sticky, it can be awkward, and it can be down right
problematic. Many relationships are severed when data is given without the correct methodology. I
have seen marriages fall apart, children run away from home and family members cutting off ties
because the approach was harsh or controlling. Imam nawawi said that this is this one Hadith can
encapsulate the entire religion and some scholars said it's 1/4 of religion
		

			In which is a dino Nessie Ha, Idina Naseeha and how you share the pool did a beautiful job in
describing wetness see hmm is that the religion is no see ha. And it's more comprehensive meaning
than just the word advice. As he described it, it is about purifying and mending. So we need to see
how we can approach this Deen how we can approach giving Dawa with that sense of purity of the
heart. And we can do it in the most beautiful method. It's critical for us to know the correct
methodology to do effective Dawa. So it's not enough for us to have just the right intention. We
know that in our mind, Lavinia fairly our deeds are by our intention, but it's not enough to simply
		

			have good intentions, and give people the truth in a harsh way. There needs to be wisdom,
compassion, diplomacy and gentleness. And Allah said to the Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi salam, if you
had been harsh, that people would have run away. So it is in the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu
sallam said that Allah is gentle, and he loves gentleness. So it is critical for us to keep in mind
what as Chef Ahmed was describing, is that first we need to connect with the people that we want to
advise whether that is our spouse, whether that the children or community members, you need to
connect before you correct. You need to focus on doing Dawa on yourself. You have that the Dawa is
		

			not just verbal Dawa. It is through your actions. If you emulate the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam
in your actions in your character, you are loving you are helpful, then they will be drawn to Islam.
Naturally, it's not just the pamphlets that you hand up, it is not talking about the five pillars of
Islam, it is through your character, which will have the most profound impact. So we need to cleanse
our hearts and see if we truly are correcting for the right reasons. Does it come from genuine
concern? Or is there judgment and superiority? If we correct someone to feel superior and put others
down than our hearts are disease and we should be more concerned about our own hereafter than giving
		

			advice to others. So leave the judgment aside. In sha Allah, we need to leave the judgment aside and
have the pure intention of looking wanting for your brother or your sister what you want for
yourself like imagine if we just implement that one Hadith as well, that we want for our family
members to have the sickie. And now we want them to have the peace in their home. And when you put
the judgment aside, you cleanse your own heart and you look at people with a glance of mercy. You
approach them with humility and kindness, so it penetrates their hearts. In order for others to
follow our advice. We need to make sure we're setting the right example, as Schiff was repeatedly
		

			saying, it's not your words, but it's your actions. As parents, we can't tell our children to pray,
read Quran and be truthful. When we don't do the same. We can't correct our spouse for the behavior
for their behavior when we haven't corrected ourselves. So it's all it all starts with ourselves.
correct yourself before you correct others, or else people will feel that you're acting
hypocritical. They will not listen and you will push them away from the deen. There are so many
people who are pushing their loved ones away from the deen simply by not knowing how to give advice
properly. So let's cleanse our heart. Let's have the right intention. Let's come in with humility
		

			with compassion and wisdom. And when we give that advice, make sure that you have corrected yourself
first, and you use a way of connecting and being loving in order to impact their hearts. And as
Schiff reminded us that tomorrow is the day of Ashura and it is a sacred day when Allah saved Moses
from Pharaoh's army by splitting the Red Sea and I pray that all your dogs your fasting and the
prayers are accepted and we are reminded we are reminded that Allah is capable of doing anything and
miracles are simply inshallah a dua away, so make sure you fast on the day of Ashura and that in sha
Allah we have that conviction we have the pain that when you make the art and you are sincere and
		

			you make dua for your
		

			loved ones, those people who you want to give Dawa to, whether that's your spouse, whether it's your
children, or whether it's community members, make sure that you are in sujood in the middle of the
night and you're praying with all your heart and sometimes that is what is needed for a miracle to
happen. Does like a lot hit him for tuning in. Join us next week on inspirations on Sunday to sokola
Heydon Assalamu alaikum