Channel: Haleh Banani
Sister Haleh, a psychologist, talks about Al-Hakeem (The All-Wise), her chosen attribute of Allah, in a clip from Mesmerized – a webinar by I am Alima.
Apologies for the choppy audio, still worth listening to!
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
Hello, welcome to the program
while they can was salam wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Good to hear your voice and welcome and are you in? Are you tuning in with us from Egypt? No, actually we are in Lebanon. So from the mountains of Lebanon I give my salon every all the sisters. Okay. All right, well the stage is yours which other which attribute of the last one I've had? Are you going to share with us tonight? The name is I'm Hakeem. And this totally transformed my life. In my profession. As a psychologist, I've heard many heartbreaking stories of abuse and justice, betrayal and oppression. Many people who have lost their innocence with physical and sexual abuse, and were emotionally wounded. And usually to help people like this using simply psychology will take
years and years to try to get them to recover. However, in using in my practice, I rely on the guidance of Islam, along with psychology to help people to overcome any type of struggle that they have a new insights and basically to feel empowered. And what is the name like focus on the most when I'm doing therapy, when I'm dealing with anyone will have any kind of challenges they have given up on hope they're depressed, they have anxiety, and many different things going on in their life. The name that I choose to focus on is a hacking. And as I said, it's transformed the way I do therapy, and the way I live my life each and every day.
The test in life are inevitable. Allah inserts abakada says sinara Juana Rahim, what an absolute one Nicole vishay in mental health, un jewelry, why not?
Let's see what
well, best [???] is for dating. Be sure that we will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss and good lives and truth, but give glad tidings to those who patiently preserved so this is a guarantee that we are going to be tested, the tests are going to come and what is going to make a difference is our reaction. How do we react to this test? Because the way you react distinguishes you, and it earns your rank. It earns your Islamic grade and ultimate your ultimate abode. So there's going to be about six aspects of the name of unhei cane that I'm going to mention with us today. inshallah. The first one is that it is an excellent litmus test to whether you are heedless,
or righteous, because many times we may be wondering, am I on the right track? Do I have the right amount of eemaan? Am I am I handling things the right way? And I want you to think back to the to the last time you had a test. Whether it was the fact that you got into an accident whether you heard about the loss of a loved one or you lost your job, how did you react was your first reaction because that will tell a lot about the level of the mind and half. And if you look at a heedless person, a heedless person will have a test. And they will be they will feel ultimately distinguished they will feel destroyed and they will feel overwhelmed. And this will actually they'll start
getting angry and frustrated. And they will start questioning even the wisdom of a law of why this happened to me that if you take a righteous person when they are tested, they will embrace the test they will be grateful for it and it actually brought brings them closer to Allah. So if we take the example of someone getting into an act, two individuals getting into car accident, one person will take us into tuition and they will feel so frustrated maybe they have lost their ability, Bluetooth, it's
broken every bone and actually there is an example within our family of
man Mashallah right man who broke every bone in his body actually in the mountains of Lebanon here as he was driving. And this initiated this test was a big
indication of what kind of a person he was because he
embrace this. And not only did he not complain about it, anyone who came to visit him, he used it as an expense as a way of cheering them up. And he embraced it. And he was so grateful. And that takes righteousness and it takes the lead, and hacking that he is the most wise, even if you're what you're going through, is so difficult, and it's very challenging. But when you know that this is the best thing that could possibly happen to you, you will be grateful for it. And he Mashallah passed that test. And he embraced this so well. And you could have an example of another person getting into the same accident. And this would drive them away from a lot they would be, they would be very
frustrated and angry and maybe fall into depression, wondering why this happened to them. So I think we need to look at our situations and see, when we are tested how we react, what is our first reaction there was, there's a beautiful story and amazing story of a man who had his wife actually when she was cooking in the kitchen. And for some reason she stepped outside to,
to talk to a neighbor. As she was cooking, she left the food on the stove. And the partner lost the house, the house burned down.
The man when he went home he was looking through through his kitchen. And he found three of his children behind the kids, where the kitchen door was
charged, charged to death. And they saw that he saw the older one protecting the two younger ones. And what was his reaction at that point, seeing that his home was destroyed the place that he left his his children. And the first thing he did was go to the masjid and he prayed to rackets of sugar that he just embrace the father of Allah. So this takes these is the tawakkol and the understanding of the name and hacking that Allah is the most wise. And if he has done this, that there is wisdom behind it. And this is what makes people move on.
The second point is the key to understand the key to understanding and contemplation is to really apply that wisdom in everything that he does. Whenever you're faced with trials and tribulations think to yourself. That is the design that because many times people ask the wrong questions, they may start asking, Why did this happen to me? Why am I so unlucky? And they asked very disempowering questions. So if we start asking what is the wisdom, then you are probing your mind to search for it. And sometimes you could have a difficulty, you could have a test, that you may think there's nothing good about this, you may have just lost your job, you have just gotten a divorce. Maybe you
have not gotten married yet. And you're
just hoping you may think that there's nothing good about this.
But be very careful about how you how you ask these questions, because none of us would have the audacity to say some law stuff for a law and say, I know better than
think of saying such a thing. However, when we're complaining when we are upset about something that has happened to us when we are just thinking that what we want is what's right, then this is what we're implying. So we need to keep in mind that a law is the most wise and that we embrace these things that happen to us.
The third point, the third point is being certain that you are ignorant in comparison to all love wisdom, it is the analogy I like to use is you cannot pour the ocean which which is allocated to a love wisdom. You cannot pour it into a tea cup, which, which is like our level of London and Canada do that. So when you see there's always these questions about well, why is there evil in the world? Why are people suffering? If you see natural disasters, if you see people who are wrongfully imprisoned or children that are killed, and individuals who are dealing with extreme hunger, you may think that this is not fair. And where is the justice in it? And I think the most important thing to
realize is that we cannot judge the events of the world according to our level or our understanding of justice and fairness.
I had a friend of mine who,
who had her three year old son drowned in actually in her in their backyard in the pool and this was the most one of the most
devastating things that could happen actually, there's a list of the most damaging things that could happen to a person psychologically, and this rank is one of the top most
challenging events in a person's life is losing your child. And upon love the way she started to look at this, initially, there was the shock, there was the the sadness, and the panela, that this was the thing that caused her and her husband to get closer to a law, they went for a head, she put on the head job, she wanted to start becoming more practicing. And after she did the Hajj upon Allah, Allah bless her with another baby boy,
individuals who embrace their father who are they believe in the word and hygiene that he is the most wise, they embrace it, and they are able to pass their tests. And I think when we focus on our tests, as if we're going into an examination room, if we focus on just passing the test, and that will help us overcome any emotional obstacle that we have, because many times as, especially as females, we can get caught up with the emotional experiences and, and we get caught up with that. But if we focus on I need to just pass this test, I need to do my ultimate, I need to do my best, then we can focus on that, rather than getting caught up on emotion. Number two, number four, is
that whenever there's a test, there is an exchange. So when Allah tries to have something, he only does it in order to give you something even greater. And there's a beautiful way of looking at it is that you go from the net ama, which is the blessing to the moon I am which is the source of blessing and Allah. So something may be taken away from you like a very precious precious net, which is, for example, your your child or spouse, it could be your work, or you may lose property. And what happens is that when this is taken from you, somehow, if you have that righteousness within you, and you turn to Allah, Allah will help you to have at least as much deeper understanding of who Allah
is, you gain this closeness. And individuals will experience this, even though it is biggest loss, and it's the most difficult test, they will say, if you ask them,
would you go through this again, they would say yes, I would definitely go through this again, because this was the thing that got me close to Allah. Because if you think about life, it's only 5060 7080 maximum 100 years. And if you go through any kind of difficulty, this is for a very limited amount of time in comparison to alternatives. So if this difficulty in this slide, leads you to eternal salvation to paradise and and you are able to redeem yourself and it becomes a wake up call for you, then this is is worth it. And anyone that I have talked to who has gone through the test the friend that I told you about who who lost her son, she says she always says that it was
such a mercy from a loss upon a loss because that is the thing that changed her life and now she's so much closer and practicing so much better.
And there are many things that we see in our life that happen and we may find it very difficult very and there are things that we want, we want so bad we want to we want to we want to marry someone and it doesn't happen and we might be very frustrated with it. And we have to realize that Allah says in the Quran wasa
Iran like home was
so hibou shy
like home, La Jolla, Allah, Samantha, Allah moon, just believe that whatever Allah is doing, whether you like it or not, this is the best for you.
number five, the fifth one is being contented with a love of others. And this will change the light your life and your daily experiences. And whatever has happened is for the best, and I use this so much within therapy that don't question the past if you have if you have been abused if you have been lied to if you have had difficulties in your life, don't hold grudges accept what has happened. And this will because forgiveness is the road to recovery and
Once you once you're able to embrace this concept, you will have the emotional stability so just accepting your fabric. And the last one is that Alon never burdens you with more than you can bear. You can live for long enough son in law was our heart and when you feel this, that you will be tested in accordance to your eemaan level. So if you're if you have a difficult test, know that Allah believes in you, and I believe I went a little bit over but I hope that each and every one of us can embrace this and look at the name of Allah hi keen to guide us to accept our test and to be able to let go of any grudges or any past mistakes of others. And inshallah we can live this in
every day of our life just like a law head.