Haitham al-Haddad – Why Marriages Fail? Part 1

			This is part of the major sins that we said this is related to sins related to metri mortal life.
Now from the other side, okay? Women are making sins related to matrimonial law. Law, one of the
biggest problems many women are doing is that they don't obey their husbands. Okay? Women don't obey
their husbands, of course here and there was women because of this feminism. And after the
suffragettes, and instead of women playing itself tenfold, now, they want women to play the main
role of a man. And by the way, I do remember that a Nobel Prize winner, he said, that economical
crisis, the social crisis that the West is going through is due to the fact that both husbands are
		

			not playing their roles that they should play means the husband he should work and provide for the
wife and the wife should work to maintain to help her husband at home to help the children today's
of the children. He says, If and this is the Nobel Prize winner, he is not a Muslim, he was talking
about this, he said the husband should play his major work and the wife should play her major role
inside the house and she should provide for children, etc, etc. And once they each party plays his
role, a complimentary okay? parties or couples will be establishing this match. Now, as we say, one
of the biggest problem is wives don't obey their husbands. Because of this feminism because of being
		

			independent, etc, etc. Women don't like to obey their husbands and please, Jani parents, it's very
ideal that some practicing sisters practicing sisters, they are not realizing that they should obey
their husbands. I received so many questions from practicing systems, saying that, well, if my
husband doesn't allow me to attend lectures or Salkeld, am I allowed to obey Him? Yes, of course,
you are allowed you must obey Him. And she said, How come but I'm not attending circuit. We tell her
Okay, system. The first right is the right of your husband. She said, Yeah, but but but and lilies
are practicing systems. This is a big problem. They don't know that the prophets of Allah they said,
		

			I mean, he was talking about the right of a husband over here, his wife, he said, If I were to
command a wife, or someone to press today, before someone, I would have commanded the wife to press
today for her husband, imagine,
		

			okay, because it's the right of the husband over his wife. And the other heading. If I if a woman
knows that I took her husband, she would have left the bus coming from him. If she knows that I have
the husband. And when I mentioned this idea in front of some system, they said What is this? I said
this is the statement of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and the purpose of a lot instead
of when, oh, I came to him and he said to him, don't make your husband angry. Not only resolve it
for innama who agenda two key one our key, he is your paradise and he is your hellfire. What does
that mean? means he is the one who is leading you to paradise and he's the one who is leading you to
		

			gender or to now and there are so many Ahadi that talk about the rights of husbands, okay, over
their wives. Unfortunately what we see women they want to be independent and they don't want to obey
their husbands. Don't do this. She does the opposite. Okay. Sometimes it is the nature and I want
women to realize that it is the nature we are all men we are married and we know this. It is the
nature of the man. When he wants to come back home he is tired, he's frustrated from work etc. etc.
He would like to see his wife ready for him talking to him. Maybe exchanging some soft words with
him some emotion as with him, but if he sees that his wife is not at all or his wife is busy, okay
		

			over the telephone or maybe using the internet she is busy. Okay using the internet or she is
talking to her mom and she has been she was with her in laws or with her mom just yesterday. He
feels that his wife is not for him. Okay we are men we know that and if he feels that his wife is
not for him problems start and even a small thing will become a major thing because of this and some
women they are asking but we are not doing anything.
		

			He's just exaggerating, on everything. And they don't realize that the root cause of the problem is
that the husband doesn't see his wife next to him. We are men, we know that our emotional need is
fulfilled when we see our wives next to ourselves, Okay, next to us. And then we feel happiness,
this is that your human being nature. And
		

			again, a part of the of this means they they the wives are not obeying their husbands is the fact
that
		

			some women, okay, they have grown perception about their role at home. And sometimes I do ask women
who has more control over you or your husband? The traditional answer is, No, my husband has more
control over everything at all. I tell them no, it is not true. Who has more control? In reality,
the wife has more control over the household members and the household issues. Do you believe in
this? Do you believe in this?
		

			Do you believe in this?
		

			I strongly believe in this. Just watch out yourselves. Think about it, you will see that my wife has
control over so many things. That how
		

			how, okay, men by nature, they want to they don't want to displease their wives, they don't want to
they don't want wise to keep nagging, nagging, nagging, they want peace of mind, peace of mind, and
their houses. Okay. And because of this, he just wants to do anything in order to keep her happy, in
order to keep her quiet, in order to keep her pleased. That is the reality. And what I tell women,
listen, if you want anything from your husband, you can take anything from your husband, but in a
very emotional way. You will never take anything from your husband if you act as a man with him. But
if you act as a wife, as a woman with him, you can get everything you want from him. And we have a
		

			statement in our lives that
		

			saying the famous saying that our a man is nothing but life adult in the hands of his wife means his
wife is playing is using him upside down like a dog like the young lady is playing with a dog, okay,
the man is in reality life is another example. Some other people are saying that the man is like a
drink and the the wise fingers you can move him from here to here. Chica moves him from here back to
here. That is the reality of how a woman is controlling her husband. But how?
		

			This is the question how you cannot control your husband by lecturing him. You cannot control your
husband by enforcing him. You cannot control your husband by giving commands your husband, just as I
say to some women, sometimes just by kiss, you can get everything you want from your husband. Why
don't you? Why don't you women use this. Another very strong weapon women can do under Allah gave
them this. Their tears affect the husband more than anything. And instead of them shouting, just by
them crying in a very humble way. The husband's heart will melt down and then he can control him she
can do whatever she wants. We are men we know this reality. But unfortunately, women are wise they
		

			don't want to observe this kind of etiquette and that's why problems come and then of course
problems. Okay escaped and become bigger and bigger. And we end up with managed to break down other
problems. Okay.