Habib Bobat – The Fiqh Of Intimacy Part 7 -Foreplay B

			Previously, we spoke about foreplay, and we mentioned that four plays an integral part of conjugal
relations. It helps the husband as well as the wife to prepare physically and mentally for the
actual relation. And we also spoke about the differences between men and women. And we said that men
are aroused much quicker as compared to women. And therefore the husband should be considerate in
allowing his partner to get ready for the moment, he shouldn't be self centered and selfish in this
regard. Today, we are continuing with the same discussion and we are going to look at some of the
guidelines the Sharia has given in terms of foreplay. Now, when it comes to foreplay, we know that
		

			foreplay can take many forms. Therefore, it is best left to the couple to discover what stimulates
them.
		

			As we know, each couple is different. And like they say, different strokes with different people,
what might work for a certain couple may not necessarily work for another couple. Therefore, it is
best to leave it at the couple for them to discover what stimulates them and what gets them going.
		

			We are going to look at some of the general principles and some of the general guidelines that the
Sharia has given in terms of foreplay, and this is a very, very important discussion. And I'm not
going to be shy about it. Because these are the queries we deal with on a regular basis. If I'm
going to shy away from this discussion, then it's futile having this discussion altogether. It's not
us discussing everything else besides the actual things that people require. So if you are
uncomfortable, I would suggest that perhaps you switch the dial or you do something else for that
matter.
		

			So coming to the aspect of foreplay, the very first thing that we need to discuss is kissing.
		

			Kissing one one's spouse is an essential part of foreplay.
		

			And it is also the student of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. There is a narration recorded in
Buddhahood Carioca, below her who was saw in one way emotionally send her
		

			the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would kiss her while she was fasting and he would
suck on her tongue.
		

			He would what he would suck on her tongue. So this is a clear cut narration
		

			showing the fact that the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi Salaam engage in passionate kissing
with his partner. So kissing is part of foreplay, and it is also the student of Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi Salaam.
		

			Kissin is not restricted to the lips in the mouth, it is permissible to kiss other parts of the
body, such as the cheeks, the forehead, the tip of the nose, behind the ear, the neck, etc, etc,
etc.
		

			and kissing or caressing one's wife's * is not only permitted,
		

			but it is one of the most effective ways of arousing her. And the reason why I'm mentioning this
because we get queries very often. Can we do this? Or can we not do that many people shy away from
it because they think it's haram and many people are involved in it, but they think they think that
maybe they are doing something wrong. So here we are clarifying those doubts. And we are saying that
it is permissible to kiss other parts of the body stain or the question of kissing, we often get the
the issue of Love Bites.
		

			Now, as far as Love Bites are concerned, we have to understand that Islam maintains one principle.
And that is, Islam does not encourage the public display of affection and love but essentially tells
the person opposite you or anyone that's sitting with you that something happened. And that is
basically given an indication of something intimate, and Islam does not encouraged it. Anything that
is displayed public affection is abhorred in the Sharia, and therefore Love Bites can be given,
however, not on areas which will be exposed to people when they are going out in the public. So do
keep that in mind. It's an important factor also. Then the question arises of eating or licking food
		

			of the spouse's body. You know, people often ask this question, is it permitted or not? Well, there
is no doubt that this practice is contrary to Islamic teachings. We don't even have to go into it.
It does not behold a Muslim to engage in such practices. Food is something which is honorable
suddenly which Allah subhanaw taala has given us for our nourishment. Moving on further, you know,
there's a question that people ask very often that is it permissible to play with each other's
private paths, the husband playing with the wives and the wife playing with the husband, is it
permitted art? So in this regard, we look at fatawa India, and indeed it is stated that Imam Abu
		

			Yusuf Rahim Allah tala great scholar, he asked his start, Imam Abbas
		

			hanifa Rahim Allah tala, one of the illustrious imams that we follow. He asked him that, oh Imam
will hanifa if a man touches his wife's private part, and she does the same for her husband, and
they do this in order to get aroused, do you see anything wrong in that?
		

			He replied, No, rather I am confident that one will be rewarded for doing so. And this is in fatawa,
India, volume five, page 328. So, we find clear cut,
		

			clear cut incidence in this regard, and the scholars of the past have already dealt with this issue.
So, it is permissible for the husband to play with his wife's private part and likewise the other
way around. Moreover, it is also permissible for the husband to use his fingers to make his partner
reach climax, and it would also be permissible the other way around for her to do it.
		

			However, listen to this however, it is haram. It is impermissible for any of them to indulge in self
pleasure. That means the husband cannot pleasure himself. And likewise the wife cannot pleasure
herself that is clearly prohibited. Yes, the husband may do it for the wife and the wife may do it
for the husband, they cannot do it for themselves. That's an important area to clarify.
		

			Moving on further, there is a question of oral *. Is it permitted? Is it permissible for the
husband and the wife to take each other's private parts in their mouth?
		

			Now listen to this very carefully, because it's a very common question that comes to us. As far as
taking in in the fluid is concerned, it is sinful and not permitted. It is unanimously agreed upon
that.
		

			However,
		

			the stage before that,
		

			the stage prior to the fluid coming out, and the stage prior to anything emanating in that stage,
there are two different views of the AMA, and I'd like to share both of them to you and you may take
your cue from there. The one group mentions that it is permitted, provided no fluid goes into the
mouth.
		

			That's the first group. The second group mentions that it is haram it is not permissible. It is not
permitted based on the fact that the tongue is used for Quran recital, it is used for the
remembrance of Allah, it is used for other forms of rabada and therefore, the Tang cannot engage in
such acts thereafter. So these are the two different views. And based on your taqwa you can take the
ruling. Let's move on further now. Can the husband and the wife see each other without clothing? So
in this regard, we've got the hadith of Mazel Tov and indeed it is mentioned at daraz Magnum as our
own Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam if upon your Rasul Allah in Nila astatke and Dada earlier
		

			what it called a walima Waka gyla Kola, who to whom liberta rajala, whom luckily Bursa years is a
hobby, by the name of earthrealm as their own and he comes to the Prophet of Allah. And he says, Oh
prophet of Allah, I'm a shy person. I don't want my wife to see me without clothes. So the Prophet
of Allah replied walima and why not? Why are you preventing them from doing that? Work ajar local
law, firm labasa which are the home the cannabis, because Allah have made you a garment for them,
and Allah have made them a garment for you, you are a garment for each other, you can see each other
You may derive comfort from one another. And I think this muscle is important in today's day and
		

			age, especially where * is so rife. So, keep that in mind. The last part of this
discussion is to do with contemporary form of for please,
		

			please pay attention to this also.
		

			Many people are indulging in new practices, for example, using * toys, using * aids to stimulate
them. So to use a * aid such as a * to stimulate one's partner is permitted, provided on
three conditions. And please keep these three conditions in mind. Number one, it does not cause harm
to anyone, yourself or herself. Number two, it is not used by oneself. That means the wife cannot
use it on her own. The husband has to use it for her. She cannot pleasure ourselves the rule of
thumb as we discussed earlier, that the wife cannot pleasure herself at any time. And thirdly, it
can only
		

			only be used on the outer private part. It cannot be used for the actual penetration of the actual
inner part of the private part. The Sharia is not permitted that is because it makes your partner
lazy. It's against the natural grain of human nature, and its impacts on the husband's confidence.
Lastly, I'd like to discuss bondage and flogging, which is also one of the contemporary forms of
foreplay, and many people are engaging in. So bondage is a sexual practice in which pleasure is
gained by means of one partner being physically restrained or tied up. It can be a way of defining
active and passive sexual roles. Now these restraints come in different forms, for example,
		

			handcuffs, ropes, shackles, belts, chains, blindfolds, and collars, etc, etc. So there is not
encouraged and flogging. We spoke about bondage. flogging is the act of whooping spanking, and
generally inflicting pain on one's partner for sexual arousal.
		

			This culture has crept into our community from what we are reading outside, and you know what I'm
referring to. So, when it comes to bondage, and flogging, you must understand it is an Islamic and
it is not encouraging our Sharia in our sooner. Islam encourages us that we respect each other, we
respect the being of each other. We respect the bodies of each other. inflicting pain in such a way
is not encouraged and it's not permitted. Now, what give us the understand