Fatima Barkatulla – The Blessings of Marriage Compared to Adultery

			Like, for me, I just remember my wedding night and just my early nights, you know, days with my
husband.
		

			There was like this complete safety in that. Do you know what I mean? Like, when I remember Lucy
describing to me how she lost her virginity.
		

			It sounded scary. Right? Right. Right. It was really scary. It was I think she, I mean, the way she
described it, she wanted to like, it was like, she wanted to just rub it out, you know? Right.
Right. Right. It was at university, somebody, you know, probably alcohol involved, probably,
probably, and he is and probably sort of, like, unclear as well as to what was going on, and then
that would happen, and then, but you're kind of going along with it, and
		

			and then you have to meet that person the next day, and there's no connection, you're supposed to
have no connection.
		

			Whereas
		

			my experience of that same thing, was the complete opposite. You know, I'm in a secure home,
		

			that my husband has provided for me, we are surrounded by gifts where, you know, we're just, we're
just committed to one another. There's safety, you know, that can't convey that feeling like of
safety that was there.
		

			And I think from that same possibility and possibility, right, not just safety, but yes, ability
because of the of this new union. And with a common
		

			a common direction, you're married, and you have a common direction that you're sharing. That's,
that that's got to be a feeling of safety.
		

			Definitely, but but even like, you just take it from a from the physical side of it, you know, the
sexual side of it.
		

			Even their, their safety, do you know what I mean? Like the safety to just express to fully express
yourself, without any fear.
		

			There have been some left, you're gonna be left, or that that thing will be used against you in any
way. Right? You know, because it's like,
		

			now, nowadays, you know, revenge *. And, I mean, there's some, there's so many risks that a girl
is taking when she
		

			indulges in that kind of behavior.
		

			But if you're married to the person, you know, they see you as part of them, you know, like, you're
		

			the certain, so they won't compromise you in that way. You know, but I think because we've divorced,
that we've separated the feelings from the, from the sexual side of things, and we've we've
separated that kind of sanctity, we remove the sanctity, you know?
		

			And because of that,
		

			men also don't see it as something sacred, right? Yes, that's right. And that's quite sad. Is it is
it's a very, it's a huge loss. And it isn't just between the man and the woman, it has to do with
their children.
		

			Because the children are the outcome of their love. And
		

			born in the safety of a family of a mother and a father.
		

			They did you know that who knows what profound?
		

			Who knows what profound changes
		

			occur when there isn't that safety for a child? Who knows? That we get, you know, genetically, who
knows? I'm sure it's deep. I'm sure it's very deep.