Fatima Barkatulla – How Can I Convince My Wife To Wear Niqab – Q&A

			How can I convince my spouse to win a cup? She's a hijabi Hamdulillah. But I want to her to win a BB
as well. Well, I would say that hopefully you've got a good relationship. And it's, you know, you
can discuss things together. Anything now this is just a general thing, right general statement,
anything that one spouse would like the other spouse to do. Of course, if it's the husband, you
know, we do have in Islam, we believe in a be obedience to the husband, right. So if your husband
would like you to do something, then as a wife, you should comply with that. But just out of wisdom,
I'm saying, you know, for the husband, that of course, you want to do things with hikma, you want to
		

			do things with wisdom, especially if somebody is maybe not used to something, or they're resisting
the resistance to something, it's worth having a very loving, positive conversation with them,
right. But why it is that this thing is important to you. And I would say, you know, reinforcing for
your wife that you think that she's beautiful, you know, you think that she's attractive, and, you
know, giving her the reasons that you that you have for whatever it is that you you want her to do,
I think, you know, that's the best way, just as anyone who's trying to do therapy of their family,
or trying to influence their family, the sledgehammer approach. So like being really hard on it,
		

			and, you know, forcing people, it's probably going to be counterproductive, you know, definitely as
a husband, you know, husband has the right to say to his wife, you know, I'd like you to do this,
and then she should comply. That's not always what happens though, is it so that's why I'm kind of
telling you that if you want if you want to be successful, and you don't want that to be resentment,
and you don't want you know, then to really understand your, your wife's psychology, and then be her
best friend, take her in your confidence, and explain to her, you know, why it's important to you.
And, you know, have a two way conversation about it, I would recommend that as the better approach,
		

			you know, to any of these kinds of things. Because when somebody is convinced of the why, and when
they love to do something, or at least when they're just intellectually convinced right, then
obviously, they're going to do it with more conviction. And they're going to do it with love, you
know, that that is more than that will mean that they will do it properly, and they won't start
hiding things, you know, this goes for anyone really anyone you're trying to influence. I hope that
kind of answers your question. Just off the top of my head, you know, trying to think, you know,
what is the heck my way of doing things, you know, brothers and sisters, sometimes when you listen
		

			to people online, and when you hear that she you're being asked a question, you know, the easy
answer is to say, well, just commander, you know, just give her the command and tell her she has to
obey her husband. And you know, that's the easy answer, right? If I give you that answer, it might
satisfy you as a man, you know, but is it actually going to have the positive result that you want?
Is it going to be conducive to building a loving relationship with your wife? Probably not? Probably
not. So that's why I'm giving you not the letter of the law. But the spirit, the kind of the hikma
way of doing things right using Hekmati using wisdom. And wisdom is the best approach in sha Allah.
		

			So for example, you can give her the proofs, you know, the reasons why, from the Quran and Sunnah
that you want her to do this. It might not even just be from the ground instead, it might be
something just personal that you prefer, right. And as a husband, you have the right to have a
Libra, you have Libra and you have the right to have a Libra Vela is like the protective jealousy
that our husband has over his wife, right and vice versa. So you know, you want to explain and
express that in loving in a loving way to your spouse in sha Allah, Allah, may Allah make it easy
for you. And I hope you you know, I wish you a wonderful marriage.