Fatima Barkatulla – A Muslim Woman’s POWERFUL Story of Turning Grief into Strength

Fatima Barkatulla
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The speakers emphasize the importance of forgiveness and balancing life with a long-term goal, emphasizing the need for comfort in knowing oneself and working towards a long-term vision. They stress the importance of education and support for those who may be struggling, as well as the importance of forgiveness and a collaborative viewpoint of business. The success of businesses in the digital age is emphasized, along with the importance of coaching for people with issues and shaping behavior, as well as the importance of being mindful of numbers and creating a positive life.

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			Subhanallah, he came upstairs in the morning and
		
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			he just said that he had a bit
		
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			of a chest pain.
		
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			10 minutes later Allah returned his soul back
		
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			to him, like right in front of me
		
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			and my children.
		
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			And I was almost shouting, we will not
		
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			question the Qadr of Allah.
		
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			It was a practice at the time of
		
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			Rasul sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the marketplace,
		
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			if someone wasn't doing very well, it was
		
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			a practice that other market, you know, other
		
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			traders might send some of their business to
		
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			the other person who wasn't doing that well.
		
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			This one understanding is what just makes business
		
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			a pleasure and not a stress, is that
		
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			your rizq is written.
		
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			Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters and welcome to
		
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			this episode of the Ilmfeed podcast.
		
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			Today I spoke to sister Hafsa and we
		
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			spoke about grief, losing a spouse, the reality
		
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			of this world.
		
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			We also talked about business and marketing.
		
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			So stay tuned and I hope you enjoy
		
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			the episode.
		
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			Sister Hafsa has been a faith-based coach
		
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			for the past nine years, coaching many Muslims
		
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			around the world through her various courses and
		
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			programmes.
		
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			She's the founder of Awakened Hearts Academy and
		
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			the Confident Muslimah, a spiritually centred coaching service
		
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			that moulds western psychology with Islamic foundations to
		
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			transform professional and personal goals to achieve success
		
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			in this life and the next.
		
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			She's completed various coaching programmes and diplomas along
		
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			with numerous recognised courses in leadership, positive psychology
		
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			and confidence led by industry experts.
		
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			And she's also, you know, studying various Islamic
		
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			courses as well.
		
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			So welcome sister Hafsa.
		
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			Thank you, assalamu alaikum.
		
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			Thank you for having me.
		
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			So how did you get into coaching in
		
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			the first place?
		
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			How long have you been in coaching?
		
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			So I've been in the coaching space for
		
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			about nine years and I kind of stumbled
		
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			into it.
		
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			So I used to run an event consultancy
		
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			business.
		
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			And in the space of one year, it
		
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			got quite big.
		
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			We were working with like big budgets and
		
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			big name charities.
		
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			But I'm very conscious of my family values
		
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			and making sure that work-life balance is
		
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			there.
		
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			And I just felt that there was no
		
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			work-life balance because events are very much
		
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			weekends and evenings.
		
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			And I just felt like it wasn't aligning
		
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			with my personal values and how I wanted
		
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			to see my life holistically.
		
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			And I don't like that hustle culture and
		
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			I was very much in it.
		
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			And so I literally closed every door and
		
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			walked away.
		
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			I gave back big budgets.
		
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			I walked away from like, you know, quite
		
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			big prospects that we had.
		
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			And I think this is a good thing
		
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			to do as well.
		
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			I think sometimes we need to just stop
		
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			and redefine ourself and redefine, you know, align
		
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			with our values and how we want to
		
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			see ourself, you know, in the world as
		
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			a whole, like with all the different areas
		
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			of our lives that we've got going.
		
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			Is there harmony?
		
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			Is there balance?
		
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			Are there boundaries?
		
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			You know, the work boundaries are so important,
		
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			as you probably know.
		
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			So I just literally just stopped, walked away
		
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			and then didn't really know what to do
		
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			with myself for a while.
		
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			And then I kind of stumbled into coaching
		
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			and got coached almost accidentally.
		
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			But it's not because these are the doors
		
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			that Allah opens.
		
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			And I just fell in love with it.
		
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			I just thought, oh my gosh, I feel
		
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			like I've been a coach my whole life.
		
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			Like I feel like I've been working with
		
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			women and people and it just resonated with
		
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			something very deep within me.
		
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			And so then I went to get qualified
		
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			and then sort of pursue coaching.
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			And I've never looked back.
		
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			Alhamdulillah.
		
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			And at the time you were married and
		
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			you had children.
		
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			Yeah, yeah, yeah.
		
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			So I married three kids, Alhamdulillah.
		
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			And they were very supportive.
		
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			They were very pivotal in that journey as
		
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			well.
		
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			Alhamdulillah, they gave me a very good sort
		
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			of a lot of encouragement, a good support
		
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			system as well.
		
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			But yeah, but it's far more aligned with
		
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			sort of family life as well.
		
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			Coaching, it's that balance.
		
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			But I think something happened in your family
		
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			that then probably made you maybe take coaching
		
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			even more seriously.
		
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			Please tell us about that.
		
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			Yeah, I don't know if it made me
		
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			take coaching more seriously versus it realigned me
		
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			to something far more meaningful and purposeful in
		
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			my life.
		
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			In March 2022, my husband, whom I'd been
		
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			married to for many, many years, we had
		
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			three children.
		
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			And he was, you know, fit and healthy
		
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			by all accounts.
		
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			Like there were no major warnings, nothing to
		
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			sort of warn us anything was about to
		
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			happen.
		
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			And subhanAllah, he came upstairs in the morning
		
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			and he just said that he had a
		
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			bit of a chest pain.
		
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			Ten minutes later, Allah returned his soul back
		
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			to him, like right in front of me
		
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			and my children.
		
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			And that, as you can imagine, shattered our
		
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			world.
		
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			Like literally, it was like Allah took our
		
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			life and all the things that we'd got
		
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			accustomed to, you know, you get comfortable in
		
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			your rhythm of life and you just don't
		
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			anticipate that this is a reality, that this
		
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			will ever happen to you.
		
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			You probably hear it, but you don't anticipate
		
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			that this could ever happen to you.
		
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			And within 10 minutes, my whole world changed,
		
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			literally.
		
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			It was like the facade of this dunya
		
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			was just, the curtains dropped.
		
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			And it was like the reality of this
		
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			life and the akhira was just ripped open.
		
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			That's what it felt like.
		
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			When someone that close to you steps into
		
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			the next realm, you just realize how real
		
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			it is.
		
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			And it's been a journey.
		
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			It's been coming up to three years now.
		
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			But I remember, and a funny story, subhanAllah,
		
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			I don't know how funny it is.
		
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			My friend who came to the house, she
		
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			said to me the moment, the day it
		
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			happened, all she remembers, and I have no
		
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			recollection of this, all she remembers is me
		
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			holding my kid's hands and saying, we will,
		
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			and I was almost shouting, we will not
		
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			question the qadr of Allah.
		
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			We will not question the qadr of Allah.
		
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			He chooses this for reasons beyond what we
		
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			understand and we will accept.
		
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			And that reality was just, that handhold was
		
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			there in the deen, alhamdulillah, for me to
		
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			grab onto.
		
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			Because there is no context.
		
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			Otherwise, you know, there's no such thing as
		
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			meaningless suffering.
		
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			That, how do you contextualize it?
		
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			How do you understand that kind of loss?
		
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			And then two weeks later, we're in Ramadan.
		
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			Ramadan was very, very, very tough because we
		
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			were very close as a family during Ramadan.
		
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			And I remember this hadith just kept going
		
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			round and round and round in my head.
		
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			This hadith where the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi
		
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			wa sallam said to a young boy, the
		
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			son of Umar ibn al-Khattab r.a,
		
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			and he said, Be in this world like
		
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			a stranger or a traveler.
		
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			And it just kept going round and round
		
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			in my head.
		
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			And I remember calling my sister at one
		
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			o'clock in the morning and saying, I
		
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			feel like I need to put this out.
		
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			I feel like I need to say something.
		
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			I feel like it's in my head for
		
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			a reason.
		
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			But I don't know.
		
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			I'm nervous.
		
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			Like, is it too soon?
		
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			I don't know if I should.
		
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			And she just said to me, do it.
		
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			Just put it out.
		
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			So at one o'clock in the morning,
		
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			I typed.
		
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			I don't even know what I typed.
		
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			I just typed the reality of this life.
		
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			Our life could go any second.
		
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			If we lived with that reality, how would
		
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			that change how we speak, how we behave,
		
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			the choices that we make?
		
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			Like, that needs to be at the forefront
		
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			of every single thing that we do.
		
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			And subhanAllah, it kind of went viral.
		
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			It just resonated with so many people.
		
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			It went around on social media.
		
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			It got picked up by media outlets.
		
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			And even on WhatsApp, my uncle in Australia
		
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			contacted me and he said a friend from
		
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			America sent him this WhatsApp message.
		
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			And he didn't know that we had an
		
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			uncle-niece relationship.
		
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			So then I just said to my sister,
		
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			well, like, you know, just looking at all
		
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			of this.
		
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			And I said to myself, actually, I said,
		
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			you know what?
		
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			I can't sit with this.
		
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			I can't.
		
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			This has touched so many hearts and resonated
		
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			so deeply with the ummah.
		
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			I feel like we need this.
		
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			So a few months later, I opened up
		
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			Awakened Hearts Academy, which is an academy built
		
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			on training around three things.
		
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			Context of this dunya versus the akhira.
		
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			The fact that we're living on a speck,
		
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			a speck of an existence.
		
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			Death is not the final point.
		
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			It's just a transitionary moment to real life,
		
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			to when real life begins.
		
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			And a refining character and spiritual courage.
		
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			And I put together a training program called
		
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			The Travelers, based on that hadith.
		
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			You know, how to live like a traveler
		
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			in this life.
		
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			And so it's a very long-winded answer
		
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			to your question.
		
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			But that's how the whole thing came to
		
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			be.
		
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			And that's what I do now.
		
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			I operate under Awakened Hearts Academy and training
		
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			people to achieve their personal and professional goals,
		
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			but always with an akhira focus.
		
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			So I guess having that experience and, you
		
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			know, with your husband especially, really brought into
		
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			focus, very sharp focus, how short this life
		
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			is.
		
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			Entirely.
		
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			I've always wanted to ask, you know, somebody
		
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			who's been through something like that.
		
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			What are the things the next day, for
		
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			example, that you realize are gone if your
		
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			spouse passes away?
		
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			In terms of the next day, I can
		
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			only speak from my experience.
		
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			And from my experience, there was no warning.
		
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			You know, sometimes there's an illness, although it's
		
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			still hard, and no grief is easier than
		
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			the other.
		
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			But I think in my case, it was
		
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			absolute shock.
		
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			Out of the blue.
		
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			Just shock.
		
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			And I think that went on for a
		
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			good month or so.
		
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			Right.
		
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			Because it feels so surreal.
		
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			You're so entrenched in your lifestyle and your
		
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			routines and your habits.
		
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			And, you know, that morning we woke up
		
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			and prayed Fajr.
		
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			You know, SubhanAllah, he read his Quran, you
		
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			know, and we had our flow.
		
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			And then suddenly realizing, like you half, I
		
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			remember half expecting to see him pop around
		
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			the corner and, you know, and then that
		
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			reality would hit.
		
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			And it's literally, I mean, Alhamdulillah, it's been
		
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			a while now.
		
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			So there's grief.
		
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			Grief is a journey you're always on, but
		
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			you learn to adapt a life around it.
		
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			But I remember those were the hardest moments.
		
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			That when that realization would come in, it
		
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			was like a physical punch to the stomach,
		
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			like literally.
		
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			And I remember that would just cause me
		
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			to kind of like spiral.
		
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			And then the only way I could ground
		
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			myself, the only way I could center myself
		
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			was to say, to bring myself to that
		
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			reality that they've just gone ahead.
		
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			We're all going to be following.
		
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			And we are all belongings of Allah.
		
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			He doesn't belong to me.
		
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			I don't belong to him.
		
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			My kids don't belong to me.
		
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			We belong to Allah.
		
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			And he will call us back on his
		
00:11:55 --> 00:11:56
			timeline, not us.
		
00:11:57 --> 00:12:00
			So just in terms of the, I guess
		
00:12:00 --> 00:12:02
			later, there's the practical stuff of, you know,
		
00:12:02 --> 00:12:06
			then taking over the household financials and all
		
00:12:06 --> 00:12:06
			of that.
		
00:12:07 --> 00:12:08
			That's all the practical stuff that comes that
		
00:12:08 --> 00:12:09
			follows.
		
00:12:09 --> 00:12:11
			I think for the first week, it was
		
00:12:11 --> 00:12:13
			the janazah preps because my biggest thing was
		
00:12:13 --> 00:12:15
			just to get him buried as soon as
		
00:12:15 --> 00:12:15
			possible.
		
00:12:15 --> 00:12:19
			That kind of, in England, it's, and this
		
00:12:19 --> 00:12:21
			was kind of post-COVID as well.
		
00:12:21 --> 00:12:24
			So there were a lot of things that
		
00:12:24 --> 00:12:25
			we had to contend with.
		
00:12:26 --> 00:12:26
			Right.
		
00:12:26 --> 00:12:27
			Yeah.
		
00:12:27 --> 00:12:28
			Because sometimes, you know, I think about it
		
00:12:28 --> 00:12:31
			and I think, you know, when it comes
		
00:12:31 --> 00:12:35
			to our spouses, we really take for granted
		
00:12:35 --> 00:12:42
			like what their presence is making us completely
		
00:12:42 --> 00:12:43
			free from, do you know what I mean?
		
00:12:44 --> 00:12:47
			There's a certain, almost like circles of, I'm
		
00:12:47 --> 00:12:50
			imagining this whole kind of circles of concern
		
00:12:50 --> 00:12:53
			that we, that are just not on our
		
00:12:53 --> 00:12:54
			radar.
		
00:12:54 --> 00:12:55
			Not on our radar.
		
00:12:55 --> 00:12:58
			Because of our spouses, right?
		
00:12:58 --> 00:12:59
			It's a huge learning curve.
		
00:13:00 --> 00:13:03
			You have to reinvent your, it's like the
		
00:13:03 --> 00:13:04
			way I used to describe it is like
		
00:13:04 --> 00:13:07
			Allah took my life and me, turned it
		
00:13:07 --> 00:13:08
			upside down and it was scattered.
		
00:13:08 --> 00:13:10
			And this has been a process of gathering
		
00:13:10 --> 00:13:11
			bit by bit.
		
00:13:11 --> 00:13:14
			But you don't emerge and gather in the
		
00:13:14 --> 00:13:15
			same form that you were before.
		
00:13:15 --> 00:13:17
			I look back at me before, pictures of
		
00:13:17 --> 00:13:20
			me before, see things that I'd written before
		
00:13:20 --> 00:13:23
			and I almost don't recognize it because as
		
00:13:23 --> 00:13:27
			much as we realize the reality of this
		
00:13:27 --> 00:13:31
			dunya versus the next life, I know my
		
00:13:31 --> 00:13:37
			understanding of it now and my relationship with
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:39
			it now is in an entirely different place.
		
00:13:40 --> 00:13:42
			Because it was just so real.
		
00:13:42 --> 00:13:43
			Like I look up at the sky and
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45
			I don't see the sky anymore.
		
00:13:45 --> 00:13:47
			I see it as the gateways to the
		
00:13:47 --> 00:13:47
			akhira.
		
00:13:48 --> 00:13:51
			I see, you know, it literally changes the
		
00:13:51 --> 00:13:52
			lens of how you look at life.
		
00:13:53 --> 00:13:54
			And I think one of my biggest considerations
		
00:13:54 --> 00:13:55
			was the kids.
		
00:13:56 --> 00:13:59
			When this happened, alhamdulillah, and I want to
		
00:13:59 --> 00:14:01
			share this because this will help anyone else.
		
00:14:02 --> 00:14:05
			One of the biggest blessings I feel that
		
00:14:05 --> 00:14:08
			helped them was Allah inspired me to do
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:08
			this.
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:12
			I feel was because we had mashallah, we
		
00:14:12 --> 00:14:15
			were in a beautiful community and they showed
		
00:14:15 --> 00:14:18
			up and our house was filled like for
		
00:14:18 --> 00:14:18
			a month.
		
00:14:19 --> 00:14:22
			It was just people, people, people, mashallah, and
		
00:14:22 --> 00:14:24
			I'm so thankful to Allah that we had
		
00:14:24 --> 00:14:24
			that support.
		
00:14:25 --> 00:14:26
			But I didn't want to lose my kids
		
00:14:26 --> 00:14:29
			in that, you know, in that.
		
00:14:29 --> 00:14:31
			So from the day it happened, every single
		
00:14:31 --> 00:14:33
			day at some point in the day, usually
		
00:14:33 --> 00:14:35
			at the end of the day, I would
		
00:14:35 --> 00:14:36
			say, come, we're going to do a check
		
00:14:36 --> 00:14:38
			in and it's just us.
		
00:14:38 --> 00:14:40
			So we'd go into a room, close the
		
00:14:40 --> 00:14:42
			door, lock it, and it would just be
		
00:14:42 --> 00:14:42
			me and the kids.
		
00:14:43 --> 00:14:44
			And it was just a space for us
		
00:14:44 --> 00:14:46
			to just check in with each other.
		
00:14:46 --> 00:14:47
			How are you doing today?
		
00:14:47 --> 00:14:48
			Is there anything you need?
		
00:14:49 --> 00:14:49
			How are you doing today?
		
00:14:50 --> 00:14:50
			Is there anything you need?
		
00:14:50 --> 00:14:52
			And what I feel that did was it
		
00:14:52 --> 00:14:55
			grounded us and it, you know, gave them
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:57
			a space, a safe space.
		
00:14:57 --> 00:15:02
			It gave us just that chance to empathize
		
00:15:02 --> 00:15:04
			with each other, to be with each other,
		
00:15:04 --> 00:15:07
			connect and just keep, I found it very
		
00:15:07 --> 00:15:11
			grounding, if that's the word.
		
00:15:11 --> 00:15:15
			Yeah, I can imagine because especially just straight
		
00:15:15 --> 00:15:18
			after somebody passes away, there is a lot
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:19
			of noise.
		
00:15:20 --> 00:15:21
			There's a lot of people, there are a
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24
			lot of people, well-meaning people, you know.
		
00:15:25 --> 00:15:29
			But I can completely empathize that you as
		
00:15:29 --> 00:15:32
			the core members of the family can sort
		
00:15:32 --> 00:15:33
			of become a bit lost in that.
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:35
			Yes, very much so.
		
00:15:35 --> 00:15:36
			And I think there needs to be a
		
00:15:36 --> 00:15:38
			lot of education as well in our community
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:40
			of how to visit people who are grieving.
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43
			I mean, alhamdulillah, my daughter, she's very, sort
		
00:15:43 --> 00:15:45
			of takes things on the chin, as do
		
00:15:45 --> 00:15:45
			I.
		
00:15:45 --> 00:15:47
			And so we would find it funny.
		
00:15:48 --> 00:15:49
			But I would imagine if there were people
		
00:15:49 --> 00:15:51
			who were sensitive, some of the things that
		
00:15:51 --> 00:15:56
			we would hear, like, for example, well-meaning,
		
00:15:56 --> 00:15:58
			and this is not, you know, to say
		
00:15:58 --> 00:16:00
			that anyone did it with ill intent.
		
00:16:00 --> 00:16:03
			But I think, well, with the best of
		
00:16:03 --> 00:16:05
			intentions, things like, and my daughter was 13
		
00:16:05 --> 00:16:07
			at the time, and they'll say, you know,
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09
			they would say things like, oh, girls are
		
00:16:09 --> 00:16:12
			usually like daddy's little princess, and now he's
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:12
			gone.
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:13
			How are you going to manage?
		
00:16:14 --> 00:16:16
			And I'm looking at my daughter, she's looking
		
00:16:16 --> 00:16:17
			at me, and we kind of giggled.
		
00:16:18 --> 00:16:20
			But thank Allah that, you know, that she
		
00:16:20 --> 00:16:22
			was of that disposition, because if she was
		
00:16:22 --> 00:16:25
			fragile and like very weak and sort of
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:26
			like sensitive to it, it would have been
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:27
			quite hard.
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:30
			Yeah, almost like rubbing it in a bit.
		
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31
			A little bit.
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:34
			And someone else said to me, Keith, it's
		
00:16:34 --> 00:16:36
			hard now, but it's going to get way
		
00:16:36 --> 00:16:36
			harder.
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:38
			And, you know, you're not going to feel
		
00:16:38 --> 00:16:40
			it as much now when your kids graduate.
		
00:16:40 --> 00:16:41
			I was going to say, thanks.
		
00:16:42 --> 00:16:44
			And I'm like, hmm.
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46
			And I said, you know, inshallah, make du
		
00:16:46 --> 00:16:48
			'a, make du'a that Allah will make
		
00:16:48 --> 00:16:51
			it easy and that Allah will give us
		
00:16:51 --> 00:16:53
			resilience and that we'll be able to, you
		
00:16:53 --> 00:16:55
			know, we'll be able to manage it well,
		
00:16:56 --> 00:16:56
			inshallah.
		
00:16:56 --> 00:16:59
			Yeah, you reminded me of when a very
		
00:16:59 --> 00:17:01
			dear member of my family passed away.
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:06
			And yeah, you know, people actually, you're being
		
00:17:06 --> 00:17:06
			too kind.
		
00:17:06 --> 00:17:10
			I think sometimes people just say things, really
		
00:17:10 --> 00:17:11
			stupid things.
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:14
			Like you do sort of wonder, like, what
		
00:17:14 --> 00:17:16
			were you thinking when you said that?
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:18
			And I remember one lady kind of saying,
		
00:17:19 --> 00:17:24
			oh, Allah took them too young, you know,
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:25
			and sort of like that whole kind of
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:29
			talking about qadr in the wrong way, you
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:33
			know, and like, you know, almost lamenting it
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:35
			and in a very vocal kind of way.
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38
			And we were the ones who were ending
		
00:17:38 --> 00:17:41
			up, you know, like comforting people in the
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:41
			end.
		
00:17:42 --> 00:17:42
			Yeah.
		
00:17:43 --> 00:17:45
			So I think people do need to be
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:48
			mindful of, you know, what they're saying and
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:50
			what implication it has.
		
00:17:50 --> 00:17:52
			Does it help in any way or is
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:53
			it, you know?
		
00:17:53 --> 00:17:54
			It's little things.
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:56
			And again, I want to say the community
		
00:17:56 --> 00:17:57
			were amazing, alhamdulillah.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:18:00
			And there is that beautiful side of support
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:01
			and being there.
		
00:18:02 --> 00:18:07
			And, you know, the food, mashallah, we had
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:08
			to physically stop the food, right?
		
00:18:08 --> 00:18:10
			So, you know, alhamdulillah, because people are just,
		
00:18:11 --> 00:18:11
			they want to help.
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:13
			And that's so beautiful, alhamdulillah.
		
00:18:14 --> 00:18:16
			But I think, as I said, there needs
		
00:18:16 --> 00:18:18
			to be some education around how to speak
		
00:18:18 --> 00:18:21
			and even some of the labeling, like, you
		
00:18:21 --> 00:18:22
			know, I remember a point in time where
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:25
			people would say to me, you're so strong,
		
00:18:25 --> 00:18:26
			you're so, oh, you'll be fine because you're
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:27
			so strong.
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:28
			And that was really hard.
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:30
			And I remember I wrote a post about
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:32
			it and saying, look, the face that you
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:34
			see is not always the face that is.
		
00:18:34 --> 00:18:38
			And there are some people that publicly grieve
		
00:18:38 --> 00:18:39
			and there are some people that do it
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:39
			privately.
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:42
			But just because you don't see them breaking
		
00:18:42 --> 00:18:45
			down and having a meltdown or emotion doesn't
		
00:18:45 --> 00:18:46
			mean that they're not struggling.
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:49
			And actually, a better question is, rather than
		
00:18:49 --> 00:18:50
			saying you're so strong, say, how are you
		
00:18:50 --> 00:18:50
			feeling?
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:51
			Right.
		
00:18:52 --> 00:18:52
			How are you doing?
		
00:18:52 --> 00:18:56
			What other things do you think people need
		
00:18:56 --> 00:18:58
			to know about that period of time, like
		
00:18:58 --> 00:19:00
			for a person, how to help them maybe
		
00:19:00 --> 00:19:02
			or how to be more helpful?
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:05
			And yeah, I mean, there's no one rule,
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:06
			I would say.
		
00:19:06 --> 00:19:10
			But I think it's very important to see
		
00:19:10 --> 00:19:12
			the person in front of you and ask
		
00:19:12 --> 00:19:17
			them what they need rather than assuming and
		
00:19:17 --> 00:19:19
			questions like, how are you doing?
		
00:19:19 --> 00:19:21
			Is there anything you need or what can
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:21
			I do?
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:24
			You know, as opposed to saying, I think
		
00:19:24 --> 00:19:26
			in wanting to comfort, a lot of things
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:27
			can be said.
		
00:19:27 --> 00:19:29
			Like I remember someone said to me, this
		
00:19:29 --> 00:19:31
			is in the early stages, I remember someone
		
00:19:31 --> 00:19:35
			saying to me, my mom lost her spouse
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:38
			and her children, one became a doctor, one
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:39
			became an engineer, one became this.
		
00:19:39 --> 00:19:42
			I remember sitting there and I just, it
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:43
			felt like pressure.
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:45
			Oh, my God, like I've got to now
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:46
			got to do something with the kids.
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:48
			And I know it was well-meaning, but
		
00:19:48 --> 00:19:52
			you just don't know how the person is
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:54
			responding in front of you.
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57
			For some, it could be inspiring, for some,
		
00:19:57 --> 00:19:59
			it could be like, feel like pressure, for
		
00:19:59 --> 00:20:01
			some it could be, you know, and I,
		
00:20:01 --> 00:20:04
			yeah, it's.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:07
			For me, one thing I didn't like during
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:10
			like that period when somebody had just passed
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:15
			away was people coming and talking about their
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:20
			lives, you know, and everything that was going
		
00:20:20 --> 00:20:22
			on in their lives that was completely irrelevant.
		
00:20:22 --> 00:20:25
			And, you know, like you said, like we
		
00:20:25 --> 00:20:28
			were in a state of like awakened, we
		
00:20:28 --> 00:20:29
			had just been awakened to the reality of
		
00:20:29 --> 00:20:30
			death.
		
00:20:30 --> 00:20:33
			And it's like you're in a different zone
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:37
			to everybody else or dimension, you know, and
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:40
			when somebody's sitting there talking about very, I
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:42
			don't know if it's mundane or if it's
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:47
			like, you know, showing off about different things
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:49
			and just normal chatter in a way.
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:52
			Yeah, I used to find that very unhelpful.
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:56
			I loved being with the people who reminded
		
00:20:56 --> 00:21:00
			me of the Akhira, who would be willing
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:03
			to just be there with me, with us,
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:06
			you know, where we were, not bring their
		
00:21:06 --> 00:21:08
			world into that space.
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:09
			Do you know what I mean?
		
00:21:09 --> 00:21:10
			I can relate.
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:11
			I mean, I didn't mind the chatter so
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:13
			much, to be honest, I didn't mind the
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:14
			chatter so much.
		
00:21:14 --> 00:21:16
			It was quite a relief in some ways,
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:18
			you know, although there is that, you know,
		
00:21:18 --> 00:21:20
			you kind of feel like you're in a
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:23
			standstill point because you just don't, you can't
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:23
			see the future.
		
00:21:24 --> 00:21:25
			You had this whole future laid out and
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:27
			now suddenly you look out and there's nothing
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:27
			there.
		
00:21:28 --> 00:21:29
			It feels blank.
		
00:21:30 --> 00:21:32
			And so you see the world carrying on
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:35
			and you're in the standstill place and that's
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:35
			confusing.
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:37
			But I didn't mind the chatter, but I
		
00:21:37 --> 00:21:38
			think what I did struggle with in the
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:41
			beginning, and this again, you know, each one's
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:42
			journey is different and it's just to be
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:43
			mindful.
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:47
			I was so, you know, sort of a
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:51
			face in the aftermath of my own grief
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53
			and my kids and, you know, trying to
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:54
			contend and deal with that.
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:56
			I didn't feel that I had space to
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58
			hold anyone else's grief at that point in
		
00:21:58 --> 00:22:00
			time of those early stages.
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:03
			And I feel subhanAllah that, you know, when
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:06
			people come and they want to relate and
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:08
			they want to share and they want to
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			empathize through sharing their grief stories.
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:14
			And I remember just really almost switching off
		
00:22:14 --> 00:22:15
			because I couldn't empathize.
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:17
			I couldn't, I really struggled with that because
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:19
			it was just, and it could be the
		
00:22:19 --> 00:22:20
			shock part as well, that I was still
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:21
			in shock.
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:26
			And I think I know, I know subhanAllah
		
00:22:26 --> 00:22:28
			as much as it was amazing to have
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:32
			community and family and everyone, alhamdulillah and I
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:34
			don't take that for granted for a day.
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:39
			Solitude was my, my therapy at that time.
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:43
			Solitude with Allah and any reminder of Allah,
		
00:22:44 --> 00:22:46
			any reminder of the Akhirah, any reminder of,
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:50
			of, of what Allah says, the stories.
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:52
			I take stories from the Quran and it
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:54
			used to give me so much hope.
		
00:22:54 --> 00:22:56
			And I would take the stories and I
		
00:22:56 --> 00:22:57
			would make du'as from there.
		
00:22:57 --> 00:22:59
			And the names of Allah, I remember some
		
00:22:59 --> 00:23:03
			days waking up and just physically feeling like,
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:04
			how do I get out of bed?
		
00:23:04 --> 00:23:07
			And then I would say, ya qawi, the
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:10
			most strong, ya qawi, give me strength and
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:10
			your strength.
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:12
			And I remember within like half an hour,
		
00:23:12 --> 00:23:15
			subhanAllah, feeling like I could move and I
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:15
			could get up.
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:19
			So those spiritual tools and solitude and just
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:22
			time with Allah, tahajjud, those were my power
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:24
			tools, if you could say, or my support
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:29
			system that really, alhamdulillah, made it easier.
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:31
			I know you've been doing some work about
		
00:23:31 --> 00:23:34
			grief, around grief and what, what do you
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:37
			think people need to know about grief and
		
00:23:37 --> 00:23:38
			the grieving process?
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:42
			I think we can't box it in at
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:42
			all.
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:45
			I think everyone defines it in a different
		
00:23:45 --> 00:23:46
			way and everyone reacts to it in a
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:47
			different way.
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:49
			But I think, I think, I think that
		
00:23:49 --> 00:23:50
			I would really like to say is that
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:57
			our faith is the only reality that we
		
00:23:57 --> 00:24:00
			can align with that would enable us to
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:04
			hold grief, gratitude and optimism at the same
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:04
			time.
		
00:24:05 --> 00:24:07
			And there's something so beautiful about that.
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:09
			Again, there's no meaningless suffering.
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:12
			There's no such thing as permanence in this
		
00:24:12 --> 00:24:12
			life.
		
00:24:13 --> 00:24:14
			It's a temporary separation.
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:19
			And the promise of what's to come is
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:21
			where, you know, that optimism can be.
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:24
			Knowing that the, the legends of the past,
		
00:24:24 --> 00:24:26
			you know, the great prophets, may Allah's peace
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:28
			and blessings be upon them, and the Sahabas
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:30
			and the Sahabiyats, they were tested in the
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:31
			same way, subhanAllah.
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:34
			And these were the most beloved to Allah.
		
00:24:34 --> 00:24:36
			And we can only pray, we can only
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:39
			pray that we are even a fraction worthy
		
00:24:39 --> 00:24:41
			of that, you know, but this comes from
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:41
			our faith.
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:45
			That grief, in and of itself, just, just,
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:48
			you know, grief, it's, it's pain, it's suffering.
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:51
			But there's so much around it that we
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:54
			have in our faith, the rahmah that Allah
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:57
			gives and He sends, and the compensation that
		
00:24:57 --> 00:24:58
			He sends.
		
00:24:58 --> 00:25:01
			When Allah takes, He compensates, subhanAllah.
		
00:25:01 --> 00:25:04
			There's khair in everything, as we know.
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:05
			And there's eases, right?
		
00:25:05 --> 00:25:08
			فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْأُسْرِ يُسْرَىٰ إِنَّ مَعَ الْأُسْرِ يُسْرَىٰ
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:13
			So if anyone's going through grief, just trying
		
00:25:13 --> 00:25:18
			to look up and see these, these, these,
		
00:25:18 --> 00:25:21
			these things that Allah sends.
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:23
			What did Allah send you?
		
00:25:24 --> 00:25:24
			Oh, subhanAllah.
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:30
			Yeah, Allah was incredibly kind.
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:36
			Just, I remember so many things, so many
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38
			things, just little duas being answered.
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:43
			Dreams that I had, so many dreams, subhanAllah.
		
00:25:43 --> 00:25:46
			Seeing my late husband in a good place,
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:47
			alhamdulillah.
		
00:25:48 --> 00:25:53
			And little things like, you know, subhanAllah, I
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:55
			am, this is a funny story, actually.
		
00:25:56 --> 00:25:58
			I made dua when I was pregnant with
		
00:25:58 --> 00:25:59
			my first child.
		
00:25:59 --> 00:26:02
			It's going back 20 years, 20 plus years.
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:04
			And I made dua, I said, Allah, give
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:06
			me, and I don't know why I made
		
00:26:06 --> 00:26:06
			this dua.
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:09
			Oh Allah, make my children warriors.
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12
			And for 20 years, I was making that
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:12
			dua.
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:14
			But it wasn't a conscious dua.
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:16
			It was just something automatic.
		
00:26:17 --> 00:26:20
			And, and I remember sometimes laughing at myself
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:22
			saying, what am I asking Allah for?
		
00:26:22 --> 00:26:25
			Why, why am I feeling like the need
		
00:26:25 --> 00:26:27
			to say, oh Allah, make my children warriors.
		
00:26:27 --> 00:26:30
			And I remember at one point after everything
		
00:26:30 --> 00:26:34
			happened, I remember, subhanAllah, a lot of people
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:37
			were saying to me, your children are like
		
00:26:37 --> 00:26:38
			warriors.
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:41
			And it didn't click until one day it
		
00:26:41 --> 00:26:41
			did.
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:43
			And I just broke down crying to Allah.
		
00:26:43 --> 00:26:46
			I said, ya Allah, you inspired me to
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:49
			make this dua for 20 years, because you
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:51
			knew that they needed to be this today.
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:55
			And it's just little things like that, that
		
00:26:55 --> 00:26:59
			just, subhanAllah, it just, little things, big things,
		
00:26:59 --> 00:27:01
			Allah shows, Allah unveils himself.
		
00:27:02 --> 00:27:05
			That makes this journey tolerable.
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:09
			And not just tolerable, but you feel optimistic,
		
00:27:09 --> 00:27:11
			you feel grateful, you feel driven.
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:13
			You feel like it's all temporary.
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:17
			And I, like the way I look at
		
00:27:17 --> 00:27:20
			it is that, Allah knew that that was
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:21
			the right time for my husband to go.
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:23
			And inshallah, it's when he was at his
		
00:27:23 --> 00:27:24
			best.
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:29
			Had you ever talked to him about death?
		
00:27:30 --> 00:27:32
			We were at a conference just three days
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:35
			ago, three days prior at a conference, a
		
00:27:35 --> 00:27:39
			Yasir Qadhi conference, where he spoke all about
		
00:27:39 --> 00:27:40
			how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt
		
00:27:40 --> 00:27:42
			with grief and death.
		
00:27:42 --> 00:27:44
			And so it was a conversation that we
		
00:27:44 --> 00:27:46
			were having just three days before.
		
00:27:46 --> 00:27:48
			And the day before, I was actually with
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:51
			my mom and we were at my mom's
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:53
			house, and we were talking about a relative
		
00:27:53 --> 00:27:57
			who was like on their last stages.
		
00:27:57 --> 00:27:59
			This was on the Saturday, and we were
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:00
			talking all about their janazah.
		
00:28:01 --> 00:28:03
			Did I ever know that the next day,
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:07
			I'd be organizing the janazah of my husband,
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09
			like subhanAllah, you know.
		
00:28:09 --> 00:28:13
			And we did have some conversations around, you
		
00:28:13 --> 00:28:13
			know.
		
00:28:13 --> 00:28:17
			But it's just not something that you anticipate.
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:19
			It's not like we consciously know that Allah
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:21
			can take your soul at any moment, right.
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:23
			But it's not something that you walk around
		
00:28:23 --> 00:28:24
			generally thinking.
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:32
			But the advice is there though, to keep
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:34
			death at the forefront, not in a morbid
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:34
			way.
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37
			Like this hadith, like, you know, live like
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:39
			a stranger or a traveler.
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:44
			Ibn Umar, Abdullah ibn Umar radhikallahu anhu, he
		
00:28:44 --> 00:28:45
			lived that life.
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:49
			And then later did a commentary on how
		
00:28:49 --> 00:28:51
			he lived that life according to that prophetic
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:52
			advice.
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:53
			And one of the things that he said
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:56
			was, live in the morning, not expecting to
		
00:28:56 --> 00:28:57
			live till evening.
		
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00
			Live in the evening, not expecting to live
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:00
			till morning.
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:03
			If you actually put yourself in that mindset,
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:05
			if you wake up in the morning and
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:07
			think, right, today could be my last day.
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:10
			How is that going to inform your choices,
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:11
			your words?
		
00:29:11 --> 00:29:12
			What things would you let go of?
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:14
			What petty issues would you just think, you
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:16
			know, it's insignificant.
		
00:29:16 --> 00:29:19
			And it would change your entire outlook and
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:20
			what you prioritize.
		
00:29:21 --> 00:29:23
			And I need to stress, it's not a
		
00:29:23 --> 00:29:23
			call to poverty.
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:26
			It's not a call to abandon life.
		
00:29:27 --> 00:29:28
			This is actually the opposite.
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:32
			It's about seizing life, seizing every opportunity, but
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:35
			always keeping the bigger journey in mind.
		
00:29:35 --> 00:29:37
			And that I need to be, yes, building
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:40
			my life here, but in a way that
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:41
			builds my assets in the Akhira.
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:43
			Yeah, I was going to ask you about
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:48
			that, because I feel like, if I made
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:51
			a list once of like, if this was
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:52
			my last week, or if this was my
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:55
			last day, what would I be doing today?
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:57
			Like, what would my week look like if
		
00:29:57 --> 00:29:58
			this?
		
00:29:58 --> 00:30:00
			And although I found that very helpful and
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:02
			very useful, because there were some very urgent
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04
			things that, you know, I would definitely put
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:06
			in, get in order, right?
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:09
			One thing I was thinking is, how do
		
00:30:09 --> 00:30:12
			you balance that with any long-term goal?
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:13
			Because do you know what I mean?
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:15
			Like most things that you're building, if you're
		
00:30:15 --> 00:30:17
			building a business, if you're building, if you're
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:22
			studying, if you're investing in something that you're
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:24
			trying to build, that is going to be,
		
00:30:24 --> 00:30:26
			of course, you have an intention for the
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:28
			Akhira, but there's a worldly benefit in it
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:30
			as well, in you building it.
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:32
			It takes time, right?
		
00:30:32 --> 00:30:36
			And you can't think too urgently when you're
		
00:30:36 --> 00:30:37
			working on that thing.
		
00:30:37 --> 00:30:38
			Do you know what I mean?
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:40
			Like, how do you balance that?
		
00:30:41 --> 00:30:42
			Oh, I think there's so much in our
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:45
			Deen that gives us a way to balance
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:45
			that.
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:46
			I think we shouldn't be aimless.
		
00:30:47 --> 00:30:49
			We need to have purpose, and we need
		
00:30:49 --> 00:30:53
			to be working towards something.
		
00:30:53 --> 00:30:54
			The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, would leave
		
00:30:54 --> 00:30:57
			his house, and he was with purpose, even
		
00:30:57 --> 00:30:58
			in the manner that he walked.
		
00:30:58 --> 00:31:00
			He walked with purpose, right?
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:03
			We should be working towards something, and we
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:06
			should have a good opinion of Allah that
		
00:31:06 --> 00:31:08
			we can achieve, and we can get these
		
00:31:08 --> 00:31:09
			things, and we can do these things in
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:10
			meaningful ways.
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13
			We should always be putting fresh intentions on
		
00:31:13 --> 00:31:15
			everything that we're doing as well, because we
		
00:31:15 --> 00:31:17
			know that the action is rewarded by the
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:18
			intention.
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:21
			So if something's sitting on an ikhlas, on
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:25
			a sincere intention, then even if we don't
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:28
			get to fulfill it, it's going to extend
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30
			beyond this life and weigh for us in
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:31
			the next life.
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:34
			And I think we should always be prepared
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:37
			that, you know, hope for the best, have
		
00:31:37 --> 00:31:40
			khusna dhanbillah, think that you can achieve, work
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:42
			for this life and the next, because I
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:45
			think that's the al-muflihun, that's the most
		
00:31:45 --> 00:31:47
			successful people who make their efforts in this
		
00:31:47 --> 00:31:49
			world, work for them in the next life.
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:50
			Of course, we have to work to survive,
		
00:31:50 --> 00:31:52
			and to live, and to function in this
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:55
			world, but it shouldn't be...
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:56
			So this is what I actually, in my
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:59
			program, The Travellers, I talk about the distinction
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:02
			between the resident mindset and the traveller's mindset.
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:07
			The traveller mindset is passing through this life.
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:11
			And so they have a purpose, but this
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:12
			is not the destination.
		
00:32:12 --> 00:32:14
			They don't make this place their home.
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:15
			They're not residents here.
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:16
			They're passing through.
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:20
			Whereas someone in the resident mindset, they make
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:21
			this their forever home.
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:25
			And the akhirah gets less and less and
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:28
			less in their mind's eye or in their
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:28
			focus.
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:31
			And so with that hyper-focus of this
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:34
			dunya, it becomes all about achieving in this
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:34
			life.
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:38
			And that's when we start to lose our
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:38
			way.
		
00:32:39 --> 00:32:40
			And it can be very nuanced.
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:42
			It's not always in the obvious ways, you
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44
			know, with the distractions, and the busyness, and
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:48
			the over-consumption of knowledge, and information that's
		
00:32:48 --> 00:32:49
			out there, and nafs.
		
00:32:49 --> 00:32:51
			We have our nafs, we're always contending with
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:55
			as well, and inherent states that we need
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:56
			to be vigilant over.
		
00:32:57 --> 00:33:00
			That's why I talk about a state of
		
00:33:00 --> 00:33:04
			vigilancy within, and self-knowledge, always checking in.
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:06
			What's my intention?
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:07
			What am I working towards?
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:11
			And making sure that we are keeping both
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:13
			this world and the next in mind as
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:14
			we do things.
		
00:33:14 --> 00:33:16
			I think one of the things that probably
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:19
			really became clear to me when I was
		
00:33:19 --> 00:33:21
			thinking, you know, as they call it, mortality
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:22
			motivation, right?
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:28
			When I started having mortality motivation, was apologizing
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:29
			quickly.
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:31
			That's one of the things that really changed
		
00:33:31 --> 00:33:32
			for me in my life.
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:38
			Like, I don't feel comfortable leaving any kind
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:44
			of misunderstanding, or, you know, argument, or slight...
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:46
			Even if the other person is wrong, right?
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:47
			Or I think the other person was wrong.
		
00:33:48 --> 00:33:51
			I want to be at peace with that
		
00:33:51 --> 00:33:53
			situation, you know?
		
00:33:53 --> 00:33:55
			So I think one of the things that
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:59
			having that kind of thinking about the akhirah,
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:01
			and realizing that you're just here, you never
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:02
			know when you're gonna go.
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:04
			Or actually, you never know when that person's
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:05
			gonna go.
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:07
			One of the things this helped me with
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:11
			is sort of knocking my ego down a
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:13
			bit, and just being like, you know what?
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:15
			I would rather have the peace of mind
		
00:34:15 --> 00:34:20
			of us being aligned, and us being at
		
00:34:20 --> 00:34:25
			peace with one another, than, you know, me
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:28
			just holding this grudge, or you having some
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:30
			negative feeling in your heart about me, you
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:30
			know?
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:33
			So I think that's one of the good
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:36
			things, you know, just apologizing quickly.
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:40
			Even if you're apologizing just to say, listen,
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:43
			I'm sorry that conversation went really badly, you
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:43
			know?
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:47
			It's not necessarily apologizing because you did something
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:49
			wrong sometimes, right?
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:51
			It's just that you wanted it to go
		
00:34:51 --> 00:34:53
			well, and it didn't go well, for example,
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:54
			right?
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:56
			Or if there's a misunderstanding, just reaching out
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:58
			to somebody, and just sorting it out, you
		
00:34:58 --> 00:35:00
			know, rather than allowing it to linger.
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:05
			How do you feel that thinking in that
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07
			akhirah-focused way has maybe changed some of
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:10
			your everyday practices?
		
00:35:11 --> 00:35:12
			First of all, I just want to say
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:14
			that I love that you mentioned that.
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:16
			It's something that I talk about and coach
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:18
			around a lot, this idea of the art
		
00:35:18 --> 00:35:18
			of forgiveness.
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:21
			And there's such a precedence for it in
		
00:35:21 --> 00:35:22
			our deen.
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:26
			You can see our history is littered with
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:30
			examples, even in the most extreme cases, where
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:32
			the prophets, the sahabas, they would choose forgiveness.
		
00:35:33 --> 00:35:35
			They have a right to not forgive.
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:37
			People have a right to not forgive and
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:38
			to claim their rights in the akhirah, but
		
00:35:38 --> 00:35:42
			the recommendation is always that it's better to
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:42
			forgive.
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:44
			And I think, you know, Allah designed us,
		
00:35:44 --> 00:35:46
			He created us, He knows how we operate,
		
00:35:46 --> 00:35:49
			and just like you said, you feel better,
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:50
			so you can function.
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52
			There is a liberation in forgiveness, because when
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:55
			we keep that hostility and that resentment and
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:57
			the grudges internally, it eats away on the
		
00:35:57 --> 00:35:57
			inside.
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:01
			Some psychologists say it's the worst emotion to
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:04
			hold, because it's the one that eats away,
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:06
			as the famous saying goes, and it's like
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:09
			drinking the poison and expecting the other person
		
00:36:09 --> 00:36:12
			to die, or whatever, or get harmed.
		
00:36:13 --> 00:36:18
			But also, can I just say, the reality
		
00:36:18 --> 00:36:20
			of the fact that the other person could
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:25
			pass away, and that you might regret having
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:27
			not sorted that thing out, do you know
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:28
			what I mean?
		
00:36:28 --> 00:36:29
			That's what I mean.
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:32
			The pain of that, and the sort of
		
00:36:32 --> 00:36:35
			permanence of that, because, you know, once they're
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:37
			gone, you can but make du'a, and
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:41
			you wouldn't be able to make amends with
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:42
			that person, right?
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:44
			Honestly, one of the biggest, and I've been
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:47
			coaching for nine years, and I've coached, alhamdulillah,
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:49
			by Allah's mercy, hundreds of people around the
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:51
			world, alhamdulillah, and I can say one of
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:53
			the biggest issues that comes into my coaching
		
00:36:53 --> 00:36:56
			space is so-and-so did this, so
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:58
			-and-so did that, and they're hurt, and
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:01
			they're suffering, and they're struggling, and they're combative,
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:03
			and they, you know, can't let go, they
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:05
			can't let go, they can't let go, but
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:08
			Islam, the tools that we have in our
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:13
			deen are tools that unshackle us from these
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:16
			lower ego spaces within, and this is why
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:19
			I say vigilance is so important, self-vigilance,
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:22
			understanding yourself, and I believe this is muhasabah,
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:25
			this is self-evaluation, this is so essential,
		
00:37:26 --> 00:37:29
			and being able to choose forgiveness, and why?
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:31
			And exactly as you said, because you've got
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:34
			more important things to think about and worry
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:36
			about, and you're focused on that bigger journey,
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:40
			but in terms of your question, what changed?
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:43
			I'd say everything changed, everything changed.
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:47
			Things that I prioritized before just became a
		
00:37:47 --> 00:37:49
			lower priority, things that I couldn't let go
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:54
			of before, I think I'm so much more
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:55
			able to let go of, I think the
		
00:37:55 --> 00:38:00
			biggest thing for me, for sure, is my
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:07
			conversations with Allah, it's something I just couldn't
		
00:38:07 --> 00:38:09
			live without now, like even yesterday, I was
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:11
			in the park, and I spent half an
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:13
			hour walking up and down the park, just
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:15
			talking to Allah, thinking people must think I'm
		
00:38:15 --> 00:38:16
			mad, but, you know, just...
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:19
			They probably think you've got headphones in.
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:20
			Maybe, I hope so, yeah.
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:22
			Talking to someone on the phone.
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:31
			But just because it's the only source of
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:33
			strength and understanding.
		
00:38:34 --> 00:38:35
			True understanding.
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:40
			True understanding, and knowing who Allah is, that
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:44
			He's not doing this, or He doesn't test
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47
			people because, you know, He's against them, astaghfirullah,
		
00:38:48 --> 00:38:51
			that He's al-wudud, He's the most loving,
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:54
			He's ar-Rahman, ar-Rahim, you know, He's
		
00:38:54 --> 00:38:56
			all that He says about Him, subhanAllah.
		
00:38:57 --> 00:38:59
			And so you know that there's something behind
		
00:38:59 --> 00:39:00
			all of this.
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:04
			And so it helps you, you know, to
		
00:39:04 --> 00:39:06
			get through the day and get through things.
		
00:39:06 --> 00:39:08
			I mean, I'm almost three years into my
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:11
			journey now, alhamdulillah, so I'm in a very
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:13
			different space now, shukr, alhamdulillah.
		
00:39:14 --> 00:39:15
			But yes, that's why I said I don't
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:19
			really recognise the person prior, when I look
		
00:39:19 --> 00:39:23
			at photos and I actually see ignorance in
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:27
			a way, because it's like she had a
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:31
			cognitive understanding of this reality, that this world
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:32
			is a blip.
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:35
			And yes, of course, you know, I was
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:37
			practising and I was, you know, conscious of
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:40
			that, but not to the degree that I'm
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:41
			aware of it now.
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:43
			And when you're aware of it to a
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:48
			greater degree, you can't approach things in the
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:48
			same way.
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:48
			Same way.
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:50
			You can't, you know.
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:52
			Like you said, a veil has been lifted.
		
00:39:52 --> 00:39:53
			A veil, and you can't put the veil,
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:55
			you don't want to put the veil back
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:55
			on.
		
00:39:56 --> 00:39:58
			I don't, you know, you don't fear death,
		
00:39:58 --> 00:40:00
			you don't, because when someone that was so
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:03
			close to you has gone through that transition,
		
00:40:05 --> 00:40:08
			has gone through that, you just recognise the
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:09
			reality of it.
		
00:40:09 --> 00:40:11
			And in a way, you just, you know,
		
00:40:11 --> 00:40:13
			you abide in time in a way, but
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:14
			you just want to make this time count.
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:17
			And you want to make, you know, every
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:18
			second counts.
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:19
			Every second.
		
00:40:20 --> 00:40:23
			And, you know, that's why I, you know,
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:26
			created Awakened Hearts Academy and the Traveller's Programme
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:29
			to, to create this Traveller's Mindset movement.
		
00:40:30 --> 00:40:36
			Like that's something I personally feel so purposeful
		
00:40:36 --> 00:40:36
			around.
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:40
			I don't want to keep it just contained,
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:41
			you know, with myself.
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:44
			And this is a, this is always, I
		
00:40:44 --> 00:40:45
			always look at it as, as for me,
		
00:40:45 --> 00:40:47
			first and foremost, before anyone else.
		
00:40:47 --> 00:40:49
			I have to live this truth.
		
00:40:49 --> 00:40:52
			But if I can, as a collective, you
		
00:40:52 --> 00:40:55
			know, in Surah Al-Fatihah, something we say
		
00:40:55 --> 00:40:58
			all the time, SubhanAllah, Allah, there's the ayah,
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:03
			You alone do we worship, right?
		
00:41:03 --> 00:41:05
			I just found out recently that Na'budu
		
00:41:05 --> 00:41:06
			is a collective worship.
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:09
			It's not, it's not, you're not talking in
		
00:41:09 --> 00:41:10
			the singular term.
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:11
			I worship, you alone do I worship.
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:13
			It's you alone do we worship.
		
00:41:14 --> 00:41:16
			So we, as an ummah, as a human
		
00:41:16 --> 00:41:19
			race, we're a collective.
		
00:41:20 --> 00:41:21
			And we need to help one another.
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:24
			And we need to be that support for
		
00:41:24 --> 00:41:27
			each other and go on this journey together.
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:30
			JazakAllah khairan for sharing that with us.
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:35
			I want to just change the topic a
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:38
			little bit now and talk about something completely
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:41
			different, which is, well, it's pretty different.
		
00:41:42 --> 00:41:44
			And that is business.
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:50
			I think the reason why I want to
		
00:41:50 --> 00:41:52
			talk about this is because I'm seeing now,
		
00:41:53 --> 00:41:54
			I don't know if you've noticed this, but,
		
00:41:54 --> 00:41:59
			well, the internet has opened up for so
		
00:41:59 --> 00:42:02
			many people new opportunities that really didn't exist
		
00:42:02 --> 00:42:03
			before.
		
00:42:03 --> 00:42:05
			And I'm thinking that, you know, more and
		
00:42:05 --> 00:42:08
			more sisters are looking into entrepreneurship.
		
00:42:08 --> 00:42:10
			They're looking to like use the talents that
		
00:42:10 --> 00:42:12
			they have or the skills that they have
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:18
			in the online space, for example, to reach
		
00:42:18 --> 00:42:22
			people, to get customers, for example, serve people,
		
00:42:23 --> 00:42:25
			but also make an income, you know.
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:32
			What have you noticed about the online space,
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:35
			the entrepreneurial space?
		
00:42:35 --> 00:42:37
			Like, what is good about it, first of
		
00:42:37 --> 00:42:37
			all?
		
00:42:37 --> 00:42:40
			Oh, I think it's amazing in the sense
		
00:42:40 --> 00:42:44
			of the platform that it gives us the
		
00:42:44 --> 00:42:45
			accessibility.
		
00:42:45 --> 00:42:49
			I mean, before, prior to internet, it was
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:50
			very physical, isn't it?
		
00:42:50 --> 00:42:51
			We had to do everything offline.
		
00:42:52 --> 00:42:53
			We had to do physical events.
		
00:42:53 --> 00:42:55
			We had to travel to certain spaces.
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:58
			We had to, you know, get people into
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:01
			a physical room to reach them, you know.
		
00:43:01 --> 00:43:01
			Or phone people.
		
00:43:02 --> 00:43:03
			Or phone people, exactly.
		
00:43:03 --> 00:43:06
			Or write letters or, you know, snail mail.
		
00:43:06 --> 00:43:09
			Or, you know, so just in terms of
		
00:43:09 --> 00:43:12
			reachability, it was just far less.
		
00:43:12 --> 00:43:14
			And now with internet, the way that we
		
00:43:14 --> 00:43:17
			have it, you know, we can reach someone
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:18
			all the way the other side of the
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:19
			world in seconds.
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:20
			Absolutely.
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:22
			And it's become a very crowded space and
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:25
			everyone's vying for that attention and that space.
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:28
			And so the good thing, alhamdulillah, is that
		
00:43:28 --> 00:43:29
			it gives us a lot more opportunity.
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:31
			It gives us a lot more reach.
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:34
			You know, we can make use of software
		
00:43:34 --> 00:43:38
			and there's a lot of, you know, ways
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:41
			to leverage the business and to make sales
		
00:43:41 --> 00:43:43
			and to bring in that income.
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:46
			The opportunities are great, alhamdulillah.
		
00:43:47 --> 00:43:49
			So if there's a sister out there, for
		
00:43:49 --> 00:43:52
			example, and she's thinking, you know, I would
		
00:43:52 --> 00:43:53
			like to get into coaching.
		
00:43:55 --> 00:43:57
			Can anyone be a coach, do you think?
		
00:43:57 --> 00:43:59
			Like what, do you know what I mean?
		
00:43:59 --> 00:44:01
			Like some people are a bit sceptical of
		
00:44:01 --> 00:44:02
			the coaching space, actually.
		
00:44:02 --> 00:44:04
			And they're like, well, you know, it looks
		
00:44:04 --> 00:44:07
			like just anyone can just put themselves forward
		
00:44:07 --> 00:44:08
			as a coach.
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:12
			And a part of me thinks, well, it
		
00:44:12 --> 00:44:15
			doesn't really matter in a way, because if
		
00:44:15 --> 00:44:20
			you see somebody further along the journey than
		
00:44:20 --> 00:44:23
			you in any sphere, right, I know myself,
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:25
			I would be willing to reach out to
		
00:44:25 --> 00:44:28
			that person as a mentor, as somebody who's
		
00:44:28 --> 00:44:31
			been there, done that, you know, to benefit
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:31
			from them.
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:35
			Is that how we should view coaching or,
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:40
			you know, how would you address, say, a
		
00:44:40 --> 00:44:41
			sister, for example, who's saying, you know, I
		
00:44:41 --> 00:44:42
			would like to be a coach.
		
00:44:43 --> 00:44:45
			Can I just coach in any area that
		
00:44:45 --> 00:44:50
			I'm ahead when it comes to other people?
		
00:44:50 --> 00:44:53
			Yeah, so this is a big question.
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:56
			As I said, I've been in the coaching
		
00:44:56 --> 00:44:58
			space for nine years.
		
00:44:58 --> 00:45:00
			I've seen a lot happen in nine years.
		
00:45:01 --> 00:45:03
			I've seen it just explode.
		
00:45:04 --> 00:45:07
			And I've seen everybody want to become a
		
00:45:07 --> 00:45:08
			coach.
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:12
			And I think if there's a sister out
		
00:45:12 --> 00:45:14
			there who wants to be a coach, absolutely,
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:16
			if you feel a call into it, but
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:17
			do it the ethical way.
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:20
			Because coaching is very unregulated.
		
00:45:21 --> 00:45:23
			Literally, I could wake up tomorrow, anyone could
		
00:45:23 --> 00:45:24
			wake up tomorrow and say, right, I'm a
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:25
			coach and start advertising.
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:28
			There's no authority board, or there's no sort
		
00:45:28 --> 00:45:31
			of accreditation that they have to have to
		
00:45:31 --> 00:45:32
			be able to call them a coach.
		
00:45:32 --> 00:45:36
			As such, you find a lot of three
		
00:45:36 --> 00:45:38
			-day coaching training programs.
		
00:45:39 --> 00:45:40
			Someone will do three days and now suddenly
		
00:45:40 --> 00:45:41
			they're a master coach.
		
00:45:42 --> 00:45:44
			Oh, you mean like coaching accreditation?
		
00:45:44 --> 00:45:47
			Yeah, yeah, or NLP, things like this.
		
00:45:48 --> 00:45:52
			And we saw this get popularized and a
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:54
			lot of momentum come into the Muslim business
		
00:45:54 --> 00:45:55
			space.
		
00:45:56 --> 00:45:59
			With that, with that, I've seen a lot
		
00:45:59 --> 00:46:01
			of unethical practices.
		
00:46:01 --> 00:46:04
			I've seen capitalization come in.
		
00:46:04 --> 00:46:05
			I've seen a lot of corruption come in.
		
00:46:06 --> 00:46:08
			I've seen people damaged as a result.
		
00:46:09 --> 00:46:13
			I've seen people who have not processed their
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:16
			own stuff, trying to go and work with
		
00:46:16 --> 00:46:19
			other people and help them and actually cause
		
00:46:19 --> 00:46:22
			more damage and do a disservice to the
		
00:46:22 --> 00:46:23
			coaching space.
		
00:46:24 --> 00:46:26
			It's a bit of a mockery at the
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:26
			moment.
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:28
			I think there's a lot of people saying
		
00:46:28 --> 00:46:30
			there's quacks out there and they're no good.
		
00:46:31 --> 00:46:33
			And to be very honest, as someone who
		
00:46:33 --> 00:46:35
			has stood on the sidelines, and this is
		
00:46:35 --> 00:46:36
			not to say that I think that I'm
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:41
			anything, or my coaching is anything, but just
		
00:46:41 --> 00:46:43
			as someone who observes a lot and sees
		
00:46:43 --> 00:46:45
			a lot and who strives as best as
		
00:46:45 --> 00:46:48
			I can to run an ethical professional practice,
		
00:46:49 --> 00:46:51
			you see a lot going on.
		
00:46:51 --> 00:46:53
			I know good coaches who've walked away because
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:54
			they just couldn't take it anymore.
		
00:46:55 --> 00:46:56
			Take what anymore?
		
00:46:57 --> 00:47:03
			Formulas, blueprints, this kind of soulless marketing engine
		
00:47:03 --> 00:47:04
			that comes into it.
		
00:47:04 --> 00:47:04
			The sales element.
		
00:47:04 --> 00:47:06
			The sales element and the practice element.
		
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09
			I mean, there's coaches there that really shouldn't
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:13
			be coaches because they've got such unprocessed stuff
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:15
			within themselves and they haven't got coached.
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:18
			They haven't invested in themselves, but they want
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:21
			to go out there because there's money in
		
00:47:21 --> 00:47:21
			this.
		
00:47:22 --> 00:47:25
			And you can, as I said, you just
		
00:47:25 --> 00:47:27
			need to wake up one day, think I'm
		
00:47:27 --> 00:47:28
			going to be a coach, get yourself a
		
00:47:28 --> 00:47:31
			profile, get out there and put this stuff
		
00:47:31 --> 00:47:31
			out there.
		
00:47:31 --> 00:47:33
			But if we want to do this in
		
00:47:33 --> 00:47:36
			an ethical, meaningful way, then we need to
		
00:47:36 --> 00:47:38
			bring a focus, first of all, in where
		
00:47:38 --> 00:47:39
			am I at?
		
00:47:40 --> 00:47:42
			What is it that I have done to
		
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44
			work on myself, to put me in a
		
00:47:44 --> 00:47:47
			position where I'm in a stronger position to
		
00:47:47 --> 00:47:49
			help someone else and guide them through whatever
		
00:47:49 --> 00:47:50
			it is.
		
00:47:50 --> 00:47:51
			You don't have to be light years ahead.
		
00:47:52 --> 00:47:52
			It's what you said.
		
00:47:52 --> 00:47:54
			You just need to be a little bit
		
00:47:54 --> 00:47:56
			ahead, potentially, but you need to be very
		
00:47:56 --> 00:48:00
			mindful of yourself and your intentions and why
		
00:48:00 --> 00:48:03
			you're coming into this and be very mindful
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:07
			of not following a lot of the footprints
		
00:48:07 --> 00:48:10
			that are out there and getting swept away
		
00:48:10 --> 00:48:12
			by that whole marketing engine that is out
		
00:48:12 --> 00:48:15
			there, which has become quite soulless.
		
00:48:15 --> 00:48:17
			I mean, it's all about numbers, targets, money,
		
00:48:18 --> 00:48:18
			income.
		
00:48:20 --> 00:48:22
			There is that practical side to the business,
		
00:48:22 --> 00:48:27
			but it shouldn't be at the expense of
		
00:48:27 --> 00:48:29
			taking your soul out of it.
		
00:48:29 --> 00:48:30
			Yeah, I was thinking about marketing the other
		
00:48:30 --> 00:48:34
			day, and I was thinking that, you know
		
00:48:34 --> 00:48:36
			how the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, he
		
00:48:36 --> 00:48:39
			encouraged business people to give sadaqa?
		
00:48:40 --> 00:48:45
			Because inherent in business is an element, or
		
00:48:45 --> 00:48:47
			it can be, an element of not lying,
		
00:48:48 --> 00:48:50
			but kind of exaggerating, right?
		
00:48:50 --> 00:48:53
			I mean, it's very easy to exaggerate, right?
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:56
			When you're trying to sell anything, really, like
		
00:48:56 --> 00:48:57
			even when you're trying to promote a podcast
		
00:48:57 --> 00:49:00
			or anything you're trying to promote or market,
		
00:49:04 --> 00:49:07
			it's easy to fall into kind of exaggeration
		
00:49:07 --> 00:49:10
			that then, you know, really you don't want
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:12
			to, obviously, you don't want to sell something
		
00:49:12 --> 00:49:15
			that doesn't have the description that you're saying
		
00:49:15 --> 00:49:15
			that it does.
		
00:49:16 --> 00:49:17
			That's on the one hand.
		
00:49:17 --> 00:49:20
			On the other hand, I know being an
		
00:49:20 --> 00:49:22
			author of a book, for example, there's no
		
00:49:22 --> 00:49:25
			point writing a book if people don't know
		
00:49:25 --> 00:49:27
			about it, you know, because I know there's
		
00:49:27 --> 00:49:31
			lots of authors out there who have written
		
00:49:31 --> 00:49:33
			books that are just in their garages, you
		
00:49:33 --> 00:49:35
			know, because they didn't have a mechanism to
		
00:49:35 --> 00:49:37
			kind of promote the book, to let people
		
00:49:37 --> 00:49:39
			know about it and then to distribute it,
		
00:49:39 --> 00:49:39
			etc.
		
00:49:40 --> 00:49:42
			So there is a practical, you know, especially
		
00:49:42 --> 00:49:44
			if you're trying to serve people, you're trying
		
00:49:44 --> 00:49:47
			to, you're trying to give them, bring them
		
00:49:47 --> 00:49:50
			results as well, you know, you want them
		
00:49:50 --> 00:49:52
			to know about your services, you want them
		
00:49:52 --> 00:49:53
			to know about the fact that you can
		
00:49:53 --> 00:49:54
			help them.
		
00:49:56 --> 00:49:58
			So how have you, like, if you were
		
00:49:58 --> 00:50:01
			to characterize what are the good practices in
		
00:50:01 --> 00:50:05
			marketing and what are the bad practices, like,
		
00:50:05 --> 00:50:07
			how would you kind of characterize those?
		
00:50:08 --> 00:50:08
			There's a few.
		
00:50:09 --> 00:50:10
			I'd say number one, be honest.
		
00:50:11 --> 00:50:12
			Be honest.
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:15
			If anything, you might, you know, want to
		
00:50:15 --> 00:50:17
			sort of, like you said, you don't want
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:20
			to grossly exaggerate and raise expectations and then
		
00:50:20 --> 00:50:22
			under-deliver, right?
		
00:50:22 --> 00:50:24
			So you always want to temper what it
		
00:50:24 --> 00:50:26
			is that you're saying that you can give
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:28
			someone and you want to be always honest,
		
00:50:28 --> 00:50:28
			right?
		
00:50:28 --> 00:50:30
			And when I say temper, I don't mean
		
00:50:30 --> 00:50:31
			you have to go into this false modesty
		
00:50:31 --> 00:50:33
			of like, oh, I think I can, maybe
		
00:50:33 --> 00:50:37
			I can help, no, I'm not saying that.
		
00:50:37 --> 00:50:37
			I'm saying...
		
00:50:37 --> 00:50:38
			There has to be a level of certainty.
		
00:50:38 --> 00:50:39
			There has to be a level of conviction
		
00:50:39 --> 00:50:40
			and certainty.
		
00:50:40 --> 00:50:42
			Like when I offer my services to people,
		
00:50:42 --> 00:50:45
			I genuinely tell them what I genuinely think
		
00:50:45 --> 00:50:46
			I can, you know, serve them.
		
00:50:46 --> 00:50:48
			And the results you've had, for example.
		
00:50:48 --> 00:50:50
			And the results that you've had, what we've
		
00:50:50 --> 00:50:54
			had, and, you know, and just sort of
		
00:50:54 --> 00:50:56
			what it says on the tin, like this
		
00:50:56 --> 00:50:56
			is what I can do.
		
00:50:56 --> 00:50:58
			The problem that I have is when people
		
00:50:58 --> 00:51:00
			start using formulas and I think a lot
		
00:51:00 --> 00:51:02
			of it that we take from the secular
		
00:51:02 --> 00:51:04
			world and you know, funnily, and what we
		
00:51:04 --> 00:51:07
			find less and less of is authenticity.
		
00:51:07 --> 00:51:08
			What we find more and more of is
		
00:51:08 --> 00:51:10
			fakery and especially with AI.
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:14
			Can you tell, I don't know about you,
		
00:51:14 --> 00:51:14
			I can tell.
		
00:51:14 --> 00:51:15
			I can tell a mile off.
		
00:51:15 --> 00:51:19
			There are some definite telltale signs and what
		
00:51:19 --> 00:51:21
			it does, I think it loses trust.
		
00:51:21 --> 00:51:22
			I think people lose trust.
		
00:51:23 --> 00:51:24
			If you do feel like you're talking to
		
00:51:24 --> 00:51:25
			a robot.
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:27
			You feel like you're talking to, so specifically
		
00:51:27 --> 00:51:28
			in the, yeah.
		
00:51:30 --> 00:51:32
			Specifically in the industry of coaching.
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:35
			It's very person to person, heart to heart,
		
00:51:35 --> 00:51:37
			I would say, you know, soul to soul.
		
00:51:37 --> 00:51:40
			Like you're working with individuals on their personal
		
00:51:40 --> 00:51:41
			lives.
		
00:51:41 --> 00:51:43
			There it's, I always look at it as
		
00:51:43 --> 00:51:45
			an honor and a privilege if someone lets
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:49
			you in, there's such an amanah there, such
		
00:51:49 --> 00:51:50
			a trust there.
		
00:51:50 --> 00:51:52
			And I always look at it like, whatever
		
00:51:52 --> 00:51:55
			I put out goes to Allah first before
		
00:51:55 --> 00:51:56
			it goes to the person in front of
		
00:51:56 --> 00:51:56
			me.
		
00:51:56 --> 00:51:58
			And I need to stay vigilant of that.
		
00:51:59 --> 00:52:01
			And I would say that's a good practice
		
00:52:01 --> 00:52:01
			to have.
		
00:52:02 --> 00:52:06
			We should also have a collaborative viewpoint of
		
00:52:06 --> 00:52:07
			business.
		
00:52:07 --> 00:52:11
			It's not what can I get or when,
		
00:52:11 --> 00:52:12
			you know, it's all about me and what
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:16
			can I, you know, sort of this poverty
		
00:52:16 --> 00:52:16
			mindset.
		
00:52:16 --> 00:52:18
			I need to get everything for me and
		
00:52:18 --> 00:52:20
			I can't share and I can't, you know,
		
00:52:20 --> 00:52:22
			I've got to contain all of this within
		
00:52:22 --> 00:52:24
			my copyrighted material.
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:25
			I mean, I'm not pro plagiarism.
		
00:52:26 --> 00:52:30
			Example, being protective over your email list.
		
00:52:30 --> 00:52:33
			Well, just, you know, it was a practice
		
00:52:33 --> 00:52:35
			at the time of Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
		
00:52:35 --> 00:52:36
			in the marketplace.
		
00:52:36 --> 00:52:39
			If someone wasn't doing very well, it was
		
00:52:39 --> 00:52:41
			a practice that other market, you know, other
		
00:52:41 --> 00:52:45
			traders might send some of their business to
		
00:52:45 --> 00:52:47
			the other person who wasn't doing that well.
		
00:52:47 --> 00:52:48
			Does that happen today?
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:50
			It should.
		
00:52:50 --> 00:52:52
			I think we try, you know, where we
		
00:52:52 --> 00:52:55
			can, we're like just support because it doesn't
		
00:52:55 --> 00:52:55
			take away.
		
00:52:56 --> 00:52:58
			And this is the beauty of our Deen,
		
00:52:58 --> 00:52:58
			right?
		
00:52:59 --> 00:52:59
			SubhanAllah.
		
00:52:59 --> 00:53:01
			And I think, you know, when we align
		
00:53:01 --> 00:53:03
			with that reality, it's actually so beautiful to
		
00:53:03 --> 00:53:06
			do business because when you give, it's not
		
00:53:06 --> 00:53:10
			in the sense that you give something, you
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:11
			lose something.
		
00:53:11 --> 00:53:12
			It doesn't work like that.
		
00:53:12 --> 00:53:14
			You give something, you gain so much because
		
00:53:14 --> 00:53:16
			then what you could invite in is Barakah.
		
00:53:17 --> 00:53:18
			And the moment you get Barakah in something,
		
00:53:19 --> 00:53:19
			it increases.
		
00:53:20 --> 00:53:22
			And I'm sure we've all experienced that in
		
00:53:22 --> 00:53:23
			our lives, right?
		
00:53:23 --> 00:53:23
			Definitely.
		
00:53:23 --> 00:53:26
			And nowadays, I think there is, even in
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:28
			the business space, you know, this understanding that
		
00:53:28 --> 00:53:35
			collaborations and, you know, like your network is
		
00:53:35 --> 00:53:38
			very, people look at your network, people benefit
		
00:53:38 --> 00:53:40
			from collaborations.
		
00:53:40 --> 00:53:43
			If they can benefit from you introducing somebody
		
00:53:43 --> 00:53:46
			else to them, that's actually something that they
		
00:53:46 --> 00:53:47
			value in you.
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:49
			And we do see that, Alhamdulillah.
		
00:53:50 --> 00:53:52
			You know, we do see Muslim businesses collaborating
		
00:53:52 --> 00:53:55
			with each other and that's, Alhamdulillah, something praiseworthy
		
00:53:55 --> 00:53:57
			and something that we need to do more
		
00:53:57 --> 00:53:58
			of.
		
00:53:58 --> 00:54:00
			What if somebody was to say to you,
		
00:54:00 --> 00:54:04
			well, you know, you're being disparaging about, you
		
00:54:04 --> 00:54:05
			know, these formulas, okay?
		
00:54:06 --> 00:54:07
			But the formulas work.
		
00:54:07 --> 00:54:10
			You know, the formulas are based on human
		
00:54:10 --> 00:54:13
			psychology and, you know.
		
00:54:13 --> 00:54:14
			What's the end goal of the formulas?
		
00:54:14 --> 00:54:17
			If you word it in this way, you
		
00:54:17 --> 00:54:19
			get this result because like the numbers don't
		
00:54:19 --> 00:54:22
			lie, the results don't lie, right?
		
00:54:22 --> 00:54:27
			So are you saying that it doesn't work?
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:28
			No.
		
00:54:29 --> 00:54:30
			What I'm saying is, what do you lose
		
00:54:30 --> 00:54:32
			in the process?
		
00:54:32 --> 00:54:32
			Right.
		
00:54:33 --> 00:54:33
			Personally.
		
00:54:33 --> 00:54:34
			Your soul.
		
00:54:34 --> 00:54:34
			That's what you lose.
		
00:54:35 --> 00:54:36
			Personally, I mean, exactly.
		
00:54:36 --> 00:54:39
			It's like in the corporate space, you climb
		
00:54:39 --> 00:54:40
			up the career ladder.
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:41
			Yeah.
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:42
			Sometimes as you climb, and I hear this
		
00:54:42 --> 00:54:45
			from my corporate clients, and there's so many
		
00:54:45 --> 00:54:46
			that just leave and walk away.
		
00:54:46 --> 00:54:47
			So many.
		
00:54:47 --> 00:54:50
			Because as they climb that ladder, it works.
		
00:54:50 --> 00:54:52
			They get higher status jobs.
		
00:54:52 --> 00:54:53
			They get higher rankings.
		
00:54:54 --> 00:54:56
			But parts of them start to- What
		
00:54:56 --> 00:54:56
			are they losing?
		
00:54:56 --> 00:54:59
			They start to lose parts of their soul
		
00:54:59 --> 00:55:02
			and they have a big fat paycheck at
		
00:55:02 --> 00:55:04
			the end of it, but they're not inside.
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:06
			There's such an inner disturbance.
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:13
			There's no settlement and peace inside because they're
		
00:55:13 --> 00:55:14
			so misaligned.
		
00:55:15 --> 00:55:17
			And so the same thing with these marketing
		
00:55:17 --> 00:55:20
			engines that be, some of them, honestly, sometimes
		
00:55:20 --> 00:55:21
			I find it insulting.
		
00:55:22 --> 00:55:24
			Like when I read some of the emails,
		
00:55:24 --> 00:55:26
			I'm like, do you really not think that
		
00:55:26 --> 00:55:28
			we can't see the manipulation here and there?
		
00:55:29 --> 00:55:31
			And yes, I understand that they use psychology
		
00:55:31 --> 00:55:31
			and all of that.
		
00:55:32 --> 00:55:34
			And look, to what extent we use that,
		
00:55:34 --> 00:55:36
			that's an individual preference, right?
		
00:55:36 --> 00:55:39
			I personally don't like to use, I tried
		
00:55:39 --> 00:55:40
			not to use any of that.
		
00:55:41 --> 00:55:43
			I just, if I've found, if I speak
		
00:55:43 --> 00:55:47
			from my heart and I present just from
		
00:55:47 --> 00:55:49
			my heart, what I feel I can offer,
		
00:55:50 --> 00:55:53
			alhamdulillah, shukr alhamdulillah, bi hurmati l-mursaleen, I've
		
00:55:53 --> 00:55:54
			not felt- Authenticity.
		
00:55:54 --> 00:55:55
			I think that's what you're- Authenticity.
		
00:55:56 --> 00:55:59
			And, subhanallah, I think, you know, to your
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:01
			point about, you know, it works, the money
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:01
			comes in.
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:03
			What's the end goal?
		
00:56:03 --> 00:56:05
			And I think that's where we need to
		
00:56:05 --> 00:56:05
			be the clearest.
		
00:56:06 --> 00:56:08
			When I'm putting out a program, when I'm
		
00:56:08 --> 00:56:11
			putting out something, service, whether it's, whatever the
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:14
			service is, what is my intention?
		
00:56:14 --> 00:56:17
			Am I after just the numbers and the
		
00:56:17 --> 00:56:17
			money?
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:20
			Am I just following the money trail?
		
00:56:20 --> 00:56:22
			And yes, then you can use any formula,
		
00:56:22 --> 00:56:25
			any blueprint, any step, anything that's going to
		
00:56:25 --> 00:56:27
			get you that, but what's the value of
		
00:56:27 --> 00:56:29
			it at the end of it?
		
00:56:29 --> 00:56:32
			What's the value of it if you've take,
		
00:56:32 --> 00:56:35
			if you've got superficiality there, if you've got
		
00:56:35 --> 00:56:38
			fakery there, if you've left your authenticity on
		
00:56:38 --> 00:56:40
			the table, if you're hiding a part of
		
00:56:40 --> 00:56:42
			your honest self because it doesn't align with
		
00:56:42 --> 00:56:43
			this formula.
		
00:56:43 --> 00:56:45
			I'll just share this story with you.
		
00:56:45 --> 00:56:47
			Many, many years ago, I hired a digital
		
00:56:47 --> 00:56:50
			team and, you know, they wanted to test
		
00:56:50 --> 00:56:51
			something out and they wanted to use, and
		
00:56:51 --> 00:56:54
			I've never used it before, anyone else's sort
		
00:56:54 --> 00:56:55
			of marketing tools.
		
00:56:56 --> 00:56:57
			And they said, let's try it all work.
		
00:56:59 --> 00:57:01
			And instinctively, I knew I shouldn't.
		
00:57:01 --> 00:57:03
			But I thought, do you know what?
		
00:57:03 --> 00:57:05
			Okay, I'm trying to go, maybe I should
		
00:57:05 --> 00:57:05
			be open-minded.
		
00:57:06 --> 00:57:06
			You know, let me give it a go.
		
00:57:07 --> 00:57:10
			We put out about two, three emails and
		
00:57:10 --> 00:57:13
			subhanAllah, people started messaging me saying, this is
		
00:57:13 --> 00:57:14
			disappointing.
		
00:57:14 --> 00:57:16
			This is not you that wrote this.
		
00:57:16 --> 00:57:19
			And I felt so bad.
		
00:57:19 --> 00:57:21
			And I felt so bad.
		
00:57:21 --> 00:57:22
			So your people knew you so well.
		
00:57:22 --> 00:57:23
			They know, yeah.
		
00:57:23 --> 00:57:27
			They're like, can we have the real Hustler
		
00:57:27 --> 00:57:27
			back?
		
00:57:27 --> 00:57:28
			We don't want the robot.
		
00:57:28 --> 00:57:30
			We don't want the marketing machine.
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:32
			And I had to say to my digital
		
00:57:32 --> 00:57:34
			team, stop, abort, abort.
		
00:57:34 --> 00:57:36
			Like, I don't want to continue this because
		
00:57:36 --> 00:57:38
			I feel like I'm doing a disservice to
		
00:57:38 --> 00:57:40
			the people who are genuinely there, who want
		
00:57:40 --> 00:57:43
			to connect with what I genuinely have to
		
00:57:43 --> 00:57:43
			say.
		
00:57:44 --> 00:57:46
			And, you know, yes, there is some element
		
00:57:46 --> 00:57:48
			of marketing, of course, you know, we want
		
00:57:48 --> 00:57:49
			to get our products out there.
		
00:57:49 --> 00:57:51
			We want to be of service to the
		
00:57:51 --> 00:57:53
			ummah and we need to use some methods
		
00:57:53 --> 00:57:55
			of marketing, but we don't want to lose
		
00:57:55 --> 00:57:56
			our soul along the way.
		
00:57:57 --> 00:58:00
			But Hafsa, there must be brothers, maybe, especially
		
00:58:00 --> 00:58:04
			watching this and they might be thinking, well,
		
00:58:04 --> 00:58:06
			I've got bills to pay, you know, this
		
00:58:06 --> 00:58:10
			style of marketing, you know, bro marketing, as
		
00:58:10 --> 00:58:12
			people call it, I have to do it
		
00:58:12 --> 00:58:15
			because I need the numbers.
		
00:58:16 --> 00:58:17
			I actually feel that it's not just brothers,
		
00:58:17 --> 00:58:20
			the sisters as well out there doing business
		
00:58:20 --> 00:58:23
			who have fallen into the thinking that this
		
00:58:23 --> 00:58:24
			is the only way to do it.
		
00:58:24 --> 00:58:28
			There's a gold standard of selling and marketing
		
00:58:29 --> 00:58:31
			and it's that, you know, bro marketing, as
		
00:58:31 --> 00:58:34
			you mentioned, you know, it's very salesy, it's
		
00:58:34 --> 00:58:37
			very forced, it's very driven, it's very result
		
00:58:37 --> 00:58:37
			driven.
		
00:58:39 --> 00:58:41
			And we think that there's no alternative to
		
00:58:41 --> 00:58:43
			that, that if you sway from that, if
		
00:58:43 --> 00:58:45
			you stray away from that, that you're going
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:46
			to lose out money.
		
00:58:47 --> 00:58:49
			And I don't believe that's true.
		
00:58:49 --> 00:58:51
			And, you know, I'll share with you a
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:52
			story.
		
00:58:52 --> 00:58:54
			I, a while ago, I worked with a
		
00:58:54 --> 00:58:55
			marketing team.
		
00:58:55 --> 00:58:57
			They were amazing, but they were following formulas.
		
00:58:58 --> 00:59:00
			And so they laid out a whole formula,
		
00:59:00 --> 00:59:02
			a marketing plan for my launch and my
		
00:59:02 --> 00:59:02
			product.
		
00:59:03 --> 00:59:07
			And I'm like a marketer's worst nightmare because
		
00:59:07 --> 00:59:09
			everything they do, I go in and undo
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:11
			and sort of, I look at it as
		
00:59:11 --> 00:59:14
			at every point, if my sole stamp is
		
00:59:14 --> 00:59:16
			not there, then I don't want to put
		
00:59:16 --> 00:59:16
			it out.
		
00:59:16 --> 00:59:19
			And so at every point of the marketing
		
00:59:19 --> 00:59:20
			phase, I would go in and I would
		
00:59:20 --> 00:59:23
			edit, I'll take stuff out, I would reword.
		
00:59:23 --> 00:59:26
			So it ended up looking entirely different to
		
00:59:26 --> 00:59:27
			what we started off with.
		
00:59:28 --> 00:59:31
			And my marketing team was a bit worried
		
00:59:31 --> 00:59:32
			and they were like, you know, we're not
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:34
			sure if this is going to work.
		
00:59:34 --> 00:59:35
			And I said, you know what?
		
00:59:35 --> 00:59:37
			We've been honest and we've done this with
		
00:59:37 --> 00:59:40
			Ihsan and we've just presented the truth and
		
00:59:40 --> 00:59:42
			inshallah it will be whatever it's supposed to
		
00:59:42 --> 00:59:42
			be.
		
00:59:43 --> 00:59:47
			And subhanAllah, by Allah's mercy, we smashed all
		
00:59:47 --> 00:59:47
			the targets.
		
00:59:49 --> 00:59:50
			Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.
		
00:59:50 --> 00:59:52
			And they now use that as a case
		
00:59:52 --> 00:59:56
			study to show other organizations or companies that
		
00:59:56 --> 00:59:58
			they work with, that you don't have to
		
00:59:58 --> 00:59:59
			follow the formulas and you don't have to,
		
00:59:59 --> 01:00:01
			and you can get very good results.
		
01:00:01 --> 01:00:02
			Alhamdulillah.
		
01:00:02 --> 01:00:06
			And I think that authenticity sells, you know,
		
01:00:06 --> 01:00:07
			and selling is not a bad word.
		
01:00:07 --> 01:00:08
			To sell is not a bad word.
		
01:00:09 --> 01:00:12
			You can earn an honest livelihood through selling
		
01:00:12 --> 01:00:15
			and through, you know, marketing yourself, but in
		
01:00:15 --> 01:00:18
			soulful, ethical, honest ways.
		
01:00:19 --> 01:00:21
			And you can still create a very, very
		
01:00:21 --> 01:00:24
			good income in business doing it that way.
		
01:00:25 --> 01:00:28
			Yeah, I think when people get lost in
		
01:00:28 --> 01:00:31
			the sales, that's when it becomes counterproductive.
		
01:00:32 --> 01:00:35
			And like, for me, I think the mission
		
01:00:35 --> 01:00:36
			has to be number one.
		
01:00:36 --> 01:00:38
			The why has to be at the forefront.
		
01:00:38 --> 01:00:42
			If your why is very strong, the business
		
01:00:42 --> 01:00:44
			side of it is almost like a vehicle,
		
01:00:44 --> 01:00:45
			right?
		
01:00:45 --> 01:00:48
			To get the message, to get the benefits
		
01:00:48 --> 01:00:49
			for the people out there.
		
01:00:50 --> 01:00:52
			That has to be the driving factor because
		
01:00:52 --> 01:00:53
			if I'm doing it just for the money,
		
01:00:54 --> 01:00:56
			well, first of all, the stress levels I
		
01:00:56 --> 01:00:59
			put myself through then, because now I'm shackled
		
01:00:59 --> 01:01:00
			to this outcome.
		
01:01:00 --> 01:01:01
			Right.
		
01:01:01 --> 01:01:03
			And I don't have a purpose beyond that
		
01:01:03 --> 01:01:04
			or I lose my focus beyond that.
		
01:01:04 --> 01:01:06
			And it can be highly stressful.
		
01:01:06 --> 01:01:07
			As you know, business is not linear.
		
01:01:07 --> 01:01:09
			It's not like, you know, it's highs and
		
01:01:09 --> 01:01:09
			lows.
		
01:01:09 --> 01:01:12
			What gets you through the lows or what
		
01:01:12 --> 01:01:14
			makes you content is when you have a
		
01:01:14 --> 01:01:20
			purpose beyond just the financial returns or the
		
01:01:20 --> 01:01:21
			return on investment financially.
		
01:01:22 --> 01:01:25
			It is, you know, knowing that a life
		
01:01:25 --> 01:01:27
			has been touched and you've put something positive
		
01:01:27 --> 01:01:28
			out there.
		
01:01:28 --> 01:01:30
			And, you know, just because it didn't return
		
01:01:30 --> 01:01:32
			this time doesn't mean it won't return another
		
01:01:32 --> 01:01:32
			time.
		
01:01:33 --> 01:01:35
			But I think it's getting creative and just
		
01:01:35 --> 01:01:37
			honestly understanding that there are many ways to
		
01:01:37 --> 01:01:39
			do things and they can all be successful.
		
01:01:39 --> 01:01:41
			And there's not just one way.
		
01:01:41 --> 01:01:43
			And we don't have to follow these formulas
		
01:01:43 --> 01:01:45
			and these tactics and these marketing tools to
		
01:01:45 --> 01:01:47
			build a successful business.
		
01:01:47 --> 01:01:47
			Yeah.
		
01:01:48 --> 01:01:51
			And that sometimes I think the formulaic way
		
01:01:51 --> 01:01:53
			can have a negative effect on your business.
		
01:01:54 --> 01:01:56
			So, for example, I've actually seen sometimes some
		
01:01:56 --> 01:01:59
			coaches when they put their videos or messages
		
01:01:59 --> 01:02:02
			out, if you look at the comments, you
		
01:02:02 --> 01:02:05
			know, they're full of people saying horrible things
		
01:02:05 --> 01:02:08
			about them because they've either been stung or
		
01:02:08 --> 01:02:10
			they feel like they're being manipulated.
		
01:02:11 --> 01:02:12
			And some of this stuff is out there
		
01:02:12 --> 01:02:12
			in public.
		
01:02:13 --> 01:02:15
			So now it's going to be basically ruining
		
01:02:15 --> 01:02:17
			that person's reputation, right?
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:19
			Well, your reputation, right?
		
01:02:19 --> 01:02:20
			And it just takes one or two bad
		
01:02:20 --> 01:02:21
			comments.
		
01:02:21 --> 01:02:22
			But we shouldn't live in fear of that.
		
01:02:23 --> 01:02:24
			But, you know, we've got to do our
		
01:02:24 --> 01:02:27
			best to not give anyone a reason, you
		
01:02:27 --> 01:02:31
			know, to say anything negative, you know.
		
01:02:31 --> 01:02:34
			And we've seen a lot of corruption in
		
01:02:34 --> 01:02:36
			the entrepreneurial Muslim space recently.
		
01:02:36 --> 01:02:37
			It's been a lot of scandals.
		
01:02:38 --> 01:02:41
			That's got to mobilize us to be even
		
01:02:41 --> 01:02:45
			more vigilant, more careful, more authentic, more real,
		
01:02:45 --> 01:02:48
			more sincere in whatever we do so that
		
01:02:48 --> 01:02:52
			we can be the forerunners of business space
		
01:02:52 --> 01:02:55
			as we should be because we have those
		
01:02:55 --> 01:02:58
			spiritual values as the driving force.
		
01:02:58 --> 01:02:58
			It's not separate.
		
01:02:59 --> 01:02:59
			It's not my Islam is here.
		
01:02:59 --> 01:03:00
			My business is here.
		
01:03:01 --> 01:03:02
			Islam was spread through trade.
		
01:03:03 --> 01:03:05
			So much of Islam was spread through trade.
		
01:03:05 --> 01:03:08
			Just from traders being so ethical, so morally
		
01:03:08 --> 01:03:12
			driven, so spiritually driven, people would become Muslim
		
01:03:12 --> 01:03:14
			just by watching how they conducted themselves in
		
01:03:14 --> 01:03:15
			business.
		
01:03:15 --> 01:03:17
			So, you know, that has to be the
		
01:03:17 --> 01:03:18
			driving force.
		
01:03:18 --> 01:03:22
			And when that's the driving force, Barakah comes
		
01:03:22 --> 01:03:25
			in many, many forms, subhanAllah.
		
01:03:26 --> 01:03:28
			Right, because I think, like you said, if
		
01:03:28 --> 01:03:31
			you're going into it with a mission, right?
		
01:03:31 --> 01:03:31
			Yes.
		
01:03:31 --> 01:03:34
			If you're mission led rather than led by
		
01:03:34 --> 01:03:36
			money or the fact that this is a
		
01:03:36 --> 01:03:39
			business, you're led by the fact you want
		
01:03:39 --> 01:03:42
			people to have this message and this result.
		
01:03:42 --> 01:03:45
			I don't think you can be a fake
		
01:03:45 --> 01:03:49
			person because, you know, your message will get
		
01:03:49 --> 01:03:50
			lost in the fakery, right?
		
01:03:51 --> 01:03:53
			And you don't touch people's hearts, basically.
		
01:03:53 --> 01:03:53
			Yeah.
		
01:03:53 --> 01:03:55
			And there's always going to be a discontentment.
		
01:03:56 --> 01:03:57
			We're always going to be chasing.
		
01:03:57 --> 01:03:59
			We're always going to be chasing the numbers.
		
01:03:59 --> 01:04:01
			And I, subhanAllah, and, you know, we have
		
01:04:01 --> 01:04:02
			so many stories.
		
01:04:02 --> 01:04:04
			You know, I remember doing a launch and
		
01:04:04 --> 01:04:07
			I remember some, this is a few years
		
01:04:07 --> 01:04:08
			ago, and we did the launch and somewhere
		
01:04:08 --> 01:04:11
			along the line, I got caught up in
		
01:04:11 --> 01:04:11
			the numbers.
		
01:04:11 --> 01:04:13
			Like you start with the digital team, you
		
01:04:13 --> 01:04:14
			start looking at the numbers.
		
01:04:14 --> 01:04:16
			Okay, what's the click rate?
		
01:04:16 --> 01:04:18
			What's the, you know, percent open rate?
		
01:04:18 --> 01:04:22
			What's the rate of sales and all of
		
01:04:22 --> 01:04:22
			that?
		
01:04:23 --> 01:04:24
			And I remember just feeling really off.
		
01:04:25 --> 01:04:26
			And then I got sick and we were
		
01:04:26 --> 01:04:28
			like a couple of weeks before launch and
		
01:04:28 --> 01:04:29
			I got really sick.
		
01:04:30 --> 01:04:31
			So I just had to stop everything.
		
01:04:32 --> 01:04:34
			And honestly, that sickness was the biggest blessing
		
01:04:34 --> 01:04:37
			from Allah because it literally forced me to
		
01:04:37 --> 01:04:37
			stop.
		
01:04:38 --> 01:04:40
			And when I stopped, I had to reevaluate
		
01:04:40 --> 01:04:40
			everything.
		
01:04:40 --> 01:04:44
			So when I reentered the launch, I completely
		
01:04:44 --> 01:04:47
			reset my focus, my intentions, let the numbers
		
01:04:47 --> 01:04:47
			go.
		
01:04:48 --> 01:04:51
			And I felt so much better, subhanAllah.
		
01:04:52 --> 01:04:54
			And, you know, it's at the end of
		
01:04:54 --> 01:04:56
			the day, what is it all for, right?
		
01:04:57 --> 01:04:58
			I know there's a practical side of it
		
01:04:58 --> 01:04:59
			if you have to pay bills and there's
		
01:04:59 --> 01:05:01
			a reality to it as well.
		
01:05:01 --> 01:05:05
			I guess everyone has their boundaries and what
		
01:05:05 --> 01:05:07
			they're able to do, but we always want
		
01:05:07 --> 01:05:08
			to be mindful of a few things.
		
01:05:08 --> 01:05:12
			Ethics, running as ethical a practice as possible.
		
01:05:12 --> 01:05:14
			For me, professionalism has to be right at
		
01:05:14 --> 01:05:15
			the top.
		
01:05:15 --> 01:05:17
			As Muslims, we have to do things with
		
01:05:17 --> 01:05:17
			ihsan.
		
01:05:17 --> 01:05:19
			So we have to strive with excellence.
		
01:05:20 --> 01:05:24
			And I think this one understanding is what
		
01:05:24 --> 01:05:27
			just makes business a pleasure and not a
		
01:05:27 --> 01:05:27
			stress.
		
01:05:28 --> 01:05:30
			Is that your rizq is written.
		
01:05:31 --> 01:05:33
			You put ihsan, you do what you can.
		
01:05:34 --> 01:05:36
			But what is written is exactly what you're
		
01:05:36 --> 01:05:36
			gonna get.
		
01:05:36 --> 01:05:38
			So if I do a launch and I
		
01:05:38 --> 01:05:40
			get 10 people, or if I get 100
		
01:05:40 --> 01:05:42
			people, I can say alhamdulillah.
		
01:05:42 --> 01:05:44
			Because I haven't got a person more or
		
01:05:44 --> 01:05:46
			a person less than what Allah knows is
		
01:05:46 --> 01:05:47
			best for me.
		
01:05:47 --> 01:05:49
			And it just takes all the stress of
		
01:05:49 --> 01:05:51
			the numbers and the targets and the whatnot
		
01:05:51 --> 01:05:53
			out, you know, because you just work with
		
01:05:53 --> 01:05:55
			what Allah has given you, say alhamdulillah.
		
01:05:56 --> 01:05:58
			And when, like you said, when you work
		
01:05:58 --> 01:06:00
			on a mission, if one life is touched,
		
01:06:01 --> 01:06:03
			that's amazing.
		
01:06:03 --> 01:06:05
			And that's what I was gonna ask you
		
01:06:05 --> 01:06:05
			next, actually.
		
01:06:06 --> 01:06:08
			First, I want to say, yeah, I do
		
01:06:08 --> 01:06:12
			find it quite disappointing when sometimes there are
		
01:06:12 --> 01:06:17
			coaches who I actually know in person who
		
01:06:17 --> 01:06:18
			are amazing people.
		
01:06:18 --> 01:06:22
			Like if you talk to them normally, outside
		
01:06:22 --> 01:06:24
			of the business space, outside of their emails,
		
01:06:24 --> 01:06:24
			yeah.
		
01:06:25 --> 01:06:26
			And then you read an email by them
		
01:06:26 --> 01:06:30
			and you're like, I wish you'd just speak
		
01:06:30 --> 01:06:33
			your own voice, you know, because your voice
		
01:06:33 --> 01:06:34
			is so wonderful.
		
01:06:34 --> 01:06:36
			Like, I want to hear from you.
		
01:06:37 --> 01:06:40
			I don't want to hear from your copywriter.
		
01:06:43 --> 01:06:46
			And yeah, I definitely feel that, you know,
		
01:06:46 --> 01:06:48
			especially if somebody has taken the time to
		
01:06:48 --> 01:06:51
			join your mailing list, they want to hear
		
01:06:51 --> 01:06:52
			from you.
		
01:06:52 --> 01:06:52
			Absolutely.
		
01:06:52 --> 01:06:53
			I feel it's a disservice.
		
01:06:53 --> 01:06:55
			I honestly feel it's a disservice to our
		
01:06:55 --> 01:06:57
			audience if we just put fakery out there.
		
01:06:58 --> 01:07:00
			And if we just, if we put things
		
01:07:00 --> 01:07:01
			out there- It doesn't even sound like
		
01:07:01 --> 01:07:02
			the tone of voice of the person.
		
01:07:02 --> 01:07:03
			Do you know what I mean?
		
01:07:03 --> 01:07:04
			It doesn't at all.
		
01:07:04 --> 01:07:06
			It doesn't at all, you can- I
		
01:07:06 --> 01:07:07
			know you didn't say that.
		
01:07:07 --> 01:07:08
			That's why I said it's insulting, right?
		
01:07:08 --> 01:07:10
			In some ways, because it's like, do people
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:13
			not, like, do they not think that it's
		
01:07:13 --> 01:07:14
			obvious?
		
01:07:15 --> 01:07:15
			Yeah.
		
01:07:15 --> 01:07:20
			And the sales is the driving factor in
		
01:07:20 --> 01:07:21
			the emails, the sales.
		
01:07:21 --> 01:07:22
			Right, yeah.
		
01:07:22 --> 01:07:25
			But I believe when you're working with people,
		
01:07:26 --> 01:07:28
			it has to be what's going to serve
		
01:07:28 --> 01:07:31
			them that needs to be the driving force.
		
01:07:31 --> 01:07:32
			The money will come.
		
01:07:32 --> 01:07:34
			As we know, Ibn al-Qayyim, rahim Allah,
		
01:07:34 --> 01:07:37
			he said, if you chase this dunya, it's
		
01:07:37 --> 01:07:38
			like a shadow, you'll never catch it.
		
01:07:38 --> 01:07:41
			But if you turn your back, it has
		
01:07:41 --> 01:07:42
			no choice but to follow you.
		
01:07:43 --> 01:07:46
			And, you know, if we operate business that
		
01:07:46 --> 01:07:49
			way as well, with ihsan, obviously with strategy,
		
01:07:49 --> 01:07:51
			you're not just running an aimless business, you
		
01:07:51 --> 01:07:54
			have strategy, but you do it with ihsan,
		
01:07:55 --> 01:07:57
			then you just know what's written will come
		
01:07:57 --> 01:07:58
			and it's perfect.
		
01:07:58 --> 01:08:03
			I want to ask you lastly, what are
		
01:08:03 --> 01:08:07
			the sorts of things people seek coaching for?
		
01:08:07 --> 01:08:09
			Okay, if you could just give us like,
		
01:08:09 --> 01:08:11
			I don't know, a couple of examples of
		
01:08:11 --> 01:08:14
			the sorts of people who've come and what
		
01:08:14 --> 01:08:16
			kinds of things they come to you with
		
01:08:17 --> 01:08:20
			and what are the kinds of results you
		
01:08:20 --> 01:08:22
			feel they are able to get from coaching?
		
01:08:22 --> 01:08:25
			And, you know, like, what do you get
		
01:08:25 --> 01:08:26
			out of it at the end of it?
		
01:08:26 --> 01:08:28
			In terms of satisfaction?
		
01:08:29 --> 01:08:31
			Okay, so to your first question, it's quite
		
01:08:31 --> 01:08:32
			a long one.
		
01:08:33 --> 01:08:35
			Your first question, I think some of the
		
01:08:35 --> 01:08:38
			more common things that people come in with
		
01:08:38 --> 01:08:43
			is self-doubt, is feeling suffocated under expectations,
		
01:08:45 --> 01:08:47
			whether it's internal, whether it's external, whether it's
		
01:08:47 --> 01:08:50
			society, loss of identity.
		
01:08:50 --> 01:08:54
			They built an identity around their status, their
		
01:08:54 --> 01:09:00
			job, their wealth, their roles that they've created
		
01:09:00 --> 01:09:02
			in, you know, and they don't actually have
		
01:09:02 --> 01:09:03
			a sense of self.
		
01:09:03 --> 01:09:06
			And that is so impacting.
		
01:09:07 --> 01:09:10
			You know, the moment something goes off track,
		
01:09:11 --> 01:09:13
			it's so easy to destabilize and sort of
		
01:09:13 --> 01:09:18
			dysregulate and get, you know, in this whirlwind
		
01:09:18 --> 01:09:20
			of the problem.
		
01:09:21 --> 01:09:22
			There's no ground and there's no sort of,
		
01:09:22 --> 01:09:25
			you know, um, overthinking, I think is a
		
01:09:25 --> 01:09:26
			huge thing.
		
01:09:26 --> 01:09:31
			People live here a lot in their heads.
		
01:09:31 --> 01:09:33
			And, you know, they live in their heads
		
01:09:33 --> 01:09:35
			so much that they're cut off, you know,
		
01:09:35 --> 01:09:36
			head down.
		
01:09:36 --> 01:09:39
			And, you know, learning to listen within and
		
01:09:39 --> 01:09:43
			tap into that intellect of the body, the
		
01:09:43 --> 01:09:45
			wisdom of the body, the fitra, your heart,
		
01:09:46 --> 01:09:47
			your soul.
		
01:09:48 --> 01:09:52
			We have this whole existence and that's just
		
01:09:52 --> 01:09:53
			not just our mind.
		
01:09:53 --> 01:09:56
			In fact, I would say way more powerful
		
01:09:56 --> 01:09:58
			than your mind because your mind can take
		
01:09:58 --> 01:10:00
			you in all different directions and places.
		
01:10:01 --> 01:10:03
			And then when we follow our mind, we
		
01:10:03 --> 01:10:06
			disconnect from the wisdom of our body.
		
01:10:06 --> 01:10:11
			Your body has memory and understanding and fitra,
		
01:10:12 --> 01:10:14
			you know, there's that.
		
01:10:15 --> 01:10:17
			So they're kind of stuck in some, they're
		
01:10:17 --> 01:10:18
			stuck with something.
		
01:10:19 --> 01:10:22
			Stuck with a number of things or the
		
01:10:22 --> 01:10:25
			symptoms are present, but the root of it
		
01:10:25 --> 01:10:28
			is sometimes, very often, a lack of self
		
01:10:28 --> 01:10:29
			-knowledge.
		
01:10:30 --> 01:10:33
			Too busy caught up in the negative self
		
01:10:33 --> 01:10:33
			-talk.
		
01:10:36 --> 01:10:37
			And yeah, I'd say those are the more,
		
01:10:38 --> 01:10:41
			and then, you know, sort of having relationship
		
01:10:41 --> 01:10:45
			conflicts, whether it's with family, spouse, children, just
		
01:10:45 --> 01:10:46
			dealing with conflicts.
		
01:10:47 --> 01:10:50
			How, and getting into that sort of ego
		
01:10:50 --> 01:10:55
			battles with people and then the repercussions of
		
01:10:55 --> 01:10:57
			that because it becomes very reactive, very defensive
		
01:10:57 --> 01:11:02
			and we disconnect from that sort of fitra
		
01:11:02 --> 01:11:05
			state, grounded state.
		
01:11:07 --> 01:11:09
			And then we just, you know, the ego
		
01:11:09 --> 01:11:13
			is running its own show and then, you
		
01:11:13 --> 01:11:16
			know, it feels very uncomfortable and it never
		
01:11:16 --> 01:11:19
			brings about good feelings overall.
		
01:11:20 --> 01:11:21
			You know, we might say something.
		
01:11:21 --> 01:11:22
			I mean, I was talking to a client
		
01:11:22 --> 01:11:24
			the other day and she said to me,
		
01:11:24 --> 01:11:25
			she goes, but it feels so good in
		
01:11:25 --> 01:11:26
			the moment.
		
01:11:26 --> 01:11:27
			I said, yeah, I understand.
		
01:11:27 --> 01:11:28
			I said, but how did it feel a
		
01:11:28 --> 01:11:29
			week later?
		
01:11:30 --> 01:11:30
			She goes, it was awful.
		
01:11:31 --> 01:11:32
			I felt so remorseful.
		
01:11:32 --> 01:11:34
			I felt so angry, upset at myself.
		
01:11:35 --> 01:11:36
			You know, why did I go there?
		
01:11:36 --> 01:11:38
			And I said, you know, this is about
		
01:11:38 --> 01:11:41
			rising above your ego and the impulses in
		
01:11:41 --> 01:11:45
			that moment and tapping into that higher elevated
		
01:11:45 --> 01:11:48
			self, the better version of yourself and not
		
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			drop into that default lower self and giving
		
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			into that instant, that moment, holding yourself to
		
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			a higher standard.
		
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			That's always gonna feel better in the long
		
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			run.
		
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			And the kinds of results that people get
		
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			in your experience and what does it bring
		
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			you when you see those results?
		
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			It's life.
		
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			And I always say, I always say to
		
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			my clients, this is from the mercy of
		
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			Allah.
		
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			Whatever basira, insights we get, it's because Allah
		
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			willed it.
		
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			Whatever changes we experience, it's because Allah willed
		
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			it.
		
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			So credit to Allah always first.
		
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			But I can say it's been life changing.
		
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			People that came into my coaching space and
		
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			they were so demoralized.
		
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			They were so hard and harsh on themselves.
		
01:12:36 --> 01:12:39
			Life was heavy, difficult, didn't know who they
		
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			were.
		
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			By the end of sort of the coaching,
		
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			there's such a strong sense of self and
		
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			direction and purpose.
		
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			They know who they are.
		
01:12:48 --> 01:12:51
			They can let things go and see the
		
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			good in life and people and always trying
		
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			to keep that akhira in mind and working
		
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			on that bigger journey.
		
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			I know people that have left their corporate
		
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			jobs as a result of doing the coaching.
		
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			People who have rekindled ties with their family
		
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			that they cut ties with.
		
01:13:13 --> 01:13:19
			Changed, made entirely different life choices as a
		
01:13:19 --> 01:13:21
			result of just checking in and doing...
		
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			I see coaching as muhaseba.
		
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			And muhaseba is self-evaluation.
		
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			And we have to take evaluation of ourself
		
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			before evaluation is taken of us.
		
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			And I see coaching as muhaseba.
		
01:13:35 --> 01:13:36
			Incredible muhaseba.
		
01:13:36 --> 01:13:37
			Like I'm so grateful.
		
01:13:37 --> 01:13:37
			I get coached.
		
01:13:37 --> 01:13:40
			I still get coaching all the time because
		
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			I always want to hold myself accountable for
		
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			myself.
		
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			And it's such a...
		
01:13:44 --> 01:13:46
			I see it as a huge blessing, alhamdulillah.
		
01:13:46 --> 01:13:49
			And in terms of what I feel, I'm
		
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			just grateful.
		
01:13:50 --> 01:13:51
			I feel privileged, I feel honored and I
		
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			just feel grateful to Allah.
		
01:13:53 --> 01:13:56
			Truly grateful that if we can have a
		
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			small part in this journey and this work,
		
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			I look at it as a small part
		
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			of my offering to what I can do
		
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			in this life.
		
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			And for people to let me in, I'm
		
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			grateful.
		
01:14:10 --> 01:14:13
			And I learn so much from my clients.
		
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			Honestly, I feel so inspired by some of
		
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			them when they uncover their higher ambitions, aspirations
		
01:14:21 --> 01:14:23
			when they tell me what they're doing.
		
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			And I'm so inspired and I learn.
		
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			I learn so much from them as well.
		
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			So shukr, alhamdulillah, very grateful.
		
01:14:30 --> 01:14:30
			Alhamdulillah.
		
01:14:31 --> 01:14:33
			And Sister Hafsa, do you have any kind
		
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			of last message that you'd like to share
		
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			with our viewers and listeners about any of
		
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			the things that we've spoken about today?
		
01:14:42 --> 01:14:45
			Yeah, jazakallah khairun for having me on here.
		
01:14:45 --> 01:14:46
			Alhamdulillah, firstly.
		
01:14:47 --> 01:14:50
			And secondly, I would like to say, don't
		
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			forget we're on a speck.
		
01:14:52 --> 01:14:53
			We are on a speck.
		
01:14:54 --> 01:14:55
			Allah reminds us of this.
		
01:14:55 --> 01:14:57
			Actually, I just did this ayah in Surah
		
01:14:57 --> 01:14:59
			Al-Ghafir where Allah talks at a high
		
01:14:59 --> 01:15:02
			level of the different stages of life, how
		
01:15:02 --> 01:15:05
			you're a clot and then you're a child
		
01:15:05 --> 01:15:06
			and then you grow up and then you
		
01:15:06 --> 01:15:09
			go into old age and then death happens.
		
01:15:10 --> 01:15:12
			And then Allah says, and I'm paraphrasing, but
		
01:15:12 --> 01:15:14
			then Allah says, but I can take you
		
01:15:14 --> 01:15:15
			at any time.
		
01:15:16 --> 01:15:18
			And then the language that Allah uses, He
		
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			said, and I hope you understand.
		
01:15:22 --> 01:15:24
			And I just, that's so beautiful.
		
01:15:24 --> 01:15:27
			But that's the reality, that we think that
		
01:15:27 --> 01:15:31
			we're gonna be here for however long, but
		
01:15:31 --> 01:15:34
			actually, if I think, if my life was
		
01:15:34 --> 01:15:36
			taken right now, or if I knew my
		
01:15:36 --> 01:15:38
			life was gonna be taken in a week,
		
01:15:38 --> 01:15:41
			would I carry on in the same direction
		
01:15:41 --> 01:15:42
			or would I pivot?
		
01:15:44 --> 01:15:45
			And so if I would pivot, do it
		
01:15:45 --> 01:15:46
			now.
		
01:15:46 --> 01:15:46
			Do it now.
		
01:15:46 --> 01:15:47
			Do it now.
		
01:15:48 --> 01:15:50
			Jazakallah khairun, that's such a beautiful message.
		
01:15:50 --> 01:15:52
			I've really learned a lot from you today.
		
01:15:53 --> 01:15:54
			Thank you so much for coming.
		
01:15:55 --> 01:15:58
			And brothers and sisters, if you'd like to
		
01:15:58 --> 01:16:02
			find out more about Sister Hafsa's work, you'll
		
01:16:02 --> 01:16:04
			find some links in the description of this
		
01:16:04 --> 01:16:05
			video.
		
01:16:06 --> 01:16:08
			With that, I'm going to bid you farewell.
		
01:16:09 --> 01:16:12
			Do leave a comment, like the video, let
		
01:16:12 --> 01:16:14
			us know what you think about some of
		
01:16:14 --> 01:16:17
			the things that we've discussed in this episode.
		
01:16:18 --> 01:16:23
			Jazakumullah khairun, Subhanakallahumma bihamdik, ashhadu an la ilaha
		
01:16:23 --> 01:16:26
			illa ant, astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk.
		
01:16:26 --> 01:16:29
			Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.