Fatima Barkatulla – 70 Major Sins #29 Sin 58 Dhabh to Others, 59 Falsely Ascribing Fatherhood, 60 Disputation

Fatima Barkatulla
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The history of Islam is discussed, including the adoption of Islam and the use of the word Islam in English. It is important for privacy and well-being for children, and foster parents are key drivers. The speakers stress the importance of finding a sincere dialogue and not just general speaking. Debt and negative comments are also discussed, and the need to stop engaging with non Muslims or ex Muslims. The speakers stress the importance of clarity and understanding in Islam, and suggest letting go of one's ego and not using it as a excuse to gain control.

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			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah.
		
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			The assister, the salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
		
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			And welcome to
		
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			the 70 major sins class, where we're looking, we've been covering the 17 major sins based on Kitab
al Qaeda or by Imam Abu Dhabi. Last time we were on major sin number.
		
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			Well, we are on 59. Before this, we were looking at 58, which was
		
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			slaughtering to other than Allah.
		
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			So slaughtering an animal in the name of somebody else, meaning that you are devoting it or you're
using that person's name, to slaughter the animal, not that you're, for example, slaughtering an
animal in honor of somebody that does, okay, like for example,
		
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			you know, obviously, we don't do that here. Now, in the UK, none of us have animals in our backyard,
		
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			ready to be slaughtered.
		
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			But, in, in past,
		
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			cultures, and even today, in many places around the world,
		
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			when you have a guest, you go out into your yard, and you slaughter a sheep,
		
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			for your guest.
		
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			And you do that in honor of your guests, right, like Ibrahim Ali Sam used to do that,
		
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			whenever he had a guest,
		
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			and there's nothing wrong with that, so you're doing it in honor of your guests. But this is about
when you're actually kind of doing the job, when you're making the slaughter, when you're cutting
the animal's neck basically
		
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			taking the life you either say the name of other than Allah.
		
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			And also under this came, you know,
		
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			eating animals
		
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			upon whom
		
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			they are considered to be Mater, Mater, meaning carry and like
		
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			just dead animals, you know, dead animals, they are also haram
		
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			animals that were not slaughtered properly, right? And that's why you see like in the West,
		
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			even though Allah says in the Quran that the food of the Al Kitab is halal. Okay.
		
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			For the believers, generally speaking, the Christians they don't, they don't say the name of Allah,
when they're slaughtering an animal, right. And they don't use the traditional methods of
slaughtering an animal anyway, right?
		
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			They might stand the animal first, in a very strong way such that the animal will die before
		
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			any kind of cutting of the animal takes place. Right? And they don't say anything. Like they don't
do that. In the Name of Allah. And that's why we don't eat the meat of the Christians, you know, the
general meat that is available in the shops. Okay.
		
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			Which you could say, the butchers are nominally Christian, right? They might not call themselves
Christian. But, you know, generally speaking,
		
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			we don't eat that meat, that meat is not halal. However, the Jews because they have their rules,
they follow the traditional rules and they slaughter in the name of Allah in the name of the
Creator. So, you know, their meat is halal for us. So, in this session, ascribing one sell falsely
to other than one's real father is a major sin. And
		
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			so is interesting, because I don't know, do you know of any situations in current times when people
might do that?
		
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			Oh, yeah, I saw an article the other day in the newspaper where some, some guy was claiming that
		
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			one of the members of the royal family was their father.
		
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			Okay, so I guess, people do things like that, right? Try to claim some kind of status, right? By
saying, so such and such as my father.
		
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			But apart from that, I haven't really I haven't really heard of it, you know, except, of course, of
course. I'm just I'm missing the most obvious example of this, which is adoption, right? In
adoption. So this is why as Muslims our concept of adoption, is not really adoption the way the west
or the way in modern times, it's defined
		
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			Right.
		
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			When we talk about, like, if a Muslim family wants to take on a child and orphaned, or, you know, a
child who doesn't have parents or whose parents can't look after it, etc,
		
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			who's been given up for adoption, if a Muslim pet, if Muslim parents or Muslim couple want to take
that child on,
		
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			they're not adopting that child in the same way as in wider society. Adoption is understood, right?
Like, in Britain, for example, when you adopt a child, it means
		
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			like, you literally are the child's parent, you know, like, your name is even given to that child,
and in, from what I can see, like,
		
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			there's no necessity to tell the child that you're not their real parents, right? There's no
necessity to kind of tell the child who their real parents are, it's basically like a transplant,
you're transplanting that child from one
		
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			family one lineage, right? to another. And so think about the implications of that, it also means
then, when the parents die,
		
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			that adopted child is treated as equal to their blood, that their own biological children, right? In
terms of inheritance, for example, right. So when it comes to, for Muslims, that wouldn't be the
case, that wouldn't be the case.
		
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			For Muslims, a child, that's, you might legally adopt a child. So in English law, for example, you
would be considered the legal parent, okay?
		
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			I can imagine parents doing that, because they want to have the full kind of
		
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			guardianship over that child, okay. Especially if the child is an orphan, for example, or cetera.
But Islamically, that child is not your child, you would not give that child, your, for example, the
man's the father's, the adoptive father, he wouldn't take his name. And it's important for the child
to even to preserve that child's name, whoever their parent was, that would be the norm. And also,
that child doesn't become Muslim automatically as well. Right. So another thing to bear in mind.
		
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			So whereas in the western idea of adoption,
		
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			you know, when when you take that child on, you're basically like the child's mother. So
		
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			that child, when they reach puberty, is like is your son so you just treat them like your son 100%.
For Muslims, unless you breastfed that child, or, you know, one of your close relatives did so say
your sister, for example, breastfed that child, then that child is not going to be like a Muslim,
right? If it's a boy, and the same for a girl, right?
		
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			For your husband, she would not be able to for example, you would not be able to
		
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			uncover your hair, etc, in front of that child once that child reaches puberty. And the same way if
it was a girl with the adoptive father, right, or the foster father. So So really, the idea of
adoption for Muslims is more like fostering, right? Well, you're not literally the parent of the
child.
		
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			But you are, you could be the guardian, you could be the one who's responsible for the child, right?
It cetera.
		
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			And be like the child's parent, foster parent. And then obviously, if you've breastfed the child or
if your close relative has then that would increase the bond, you know, that would make you like
		
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			foster mother, or it could be like your foster nephew or whatever, depending on who breastfed the
child.
		
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			But you can see the difference there right. There is no concept of transplanting a lineage into
another in that way. You know, so in this hadith, sad even of your cost, says, the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, He who falsely attributes his fatherhood to anyone besides his
real father, knowing that he is not his father will be forbidden to enter Jenna and of horrors. Ilan
says Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Do not turn away from your father's, for here who
turns away from his father will be guilty of committing an act of disbelief.
		
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			and this was regarding you know, don't basically erase your father. In other words, right?
		
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			It's kind of like from your lineage.
		
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			Some points to remember that the main purpose of this
		
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			is to preserve lineage, right, is to preserve that and also to fulfill the right of a parent. Like,
		
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			these things are your identity. That's why you read a lot of times, you know, with children who were
adopted,
		
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			if they were not, if they didn't know who their biological parent was, when they grow up.
		
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			Many of them not all of them, but many do have this, this real visceral sense of yearning, where
they want to know, like, who was my mom, who was my father, right. And, you know, you have these
television programs sometimes, or books written about people who went in search of their parent. And
sometimes that can be quite a painful journey, you know, for them.
		
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			Other times, they don't feel any connection with that parent, once they meet them, etc, right. But
the point is that
		
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			we do as human beings have this visceral yearning inside us to know, where did I come from? Who were
my parents, you know, that is a very natural need. And that's why in our societies now that,
unfortunately, the family has broken down. I mean, in Western societies, right?
		
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			There's so much breakdown of the family and marriage and children born outside of marriage, etc.
		
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			But also, absent fathers, this has caused this has wreaked havoc in society. It's wreaked havoc on
the psychology of children.
		
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			Because children need their fathers, you know, they need both parents. Ideally, ideally, of course,
it's not always possible, but
		
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			when that is in a artificial way, destroyed, you know, when that link is artificially destroyed, or
when that link is
		
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			artificially removed, then it causes some kind of very deep psychological effect, or it can do,
right. So here. So that's really the main purpose, you know, preserving lineage, knowing who's
related to who, etc. You might have read in newspapers, sometimes there's stories about people who
didn't know who their father was, for example, and then they ended up getting married. And they were
brother and sister. Yeah, that's, that has also happened. Right? their brothers and sisters, they
were split up at birth, maybe
		
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			adopted, or you know, so they, they had no idea who,
		
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			that each other even existed, etc, or that they had another parent, a real biological parent, and
they ended up meeting and getting married. And then they realized they were brother and sister,
right? Those kinds of things need to be prevented. And that's why it's important for people's
lineage. To be clear, it's not a problem to use your father's surname, it doesn't mean you have to
have your father's name in your name. That's not what this means. Okay? Because like conventions,
naming conventions, they change, don't they change. So for example, in the past, in the Arab
culture, it was that you have your name and then even such and such or bent such and such, right.
		
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			You're the daughter of such and such and then the, even your grandfather's name, right. So like, I
remember when I went to Egypt, I would have to write my name is Fatima bint Baraka, Tila Eben
		
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			Abdelkader, right. My grandfather, and my father his actual name is baraka Tala. You know, that's
actually his first name. People think that that's just a family name. But no, that's actually my
father's actual name. So that's the normal kind of Arab convention that was there. But nowadays, you
know, most people usually have a family name, right? Well, they might have the name of their tribe.
		
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			An old tribal name, right. Like, for example, the name, Han Jakob die. Those types of names. They're
kind of tribal, historical kind of names, right? That was supposed to denote that you came from
		
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			a certain family, a certain level of family, etc.
		
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			So conventions change, but the point is not to claim that somebody else is your father. That's
that's the point.
		
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			You can attribute yourself to one of your grandparents, for example, if you're if one of your
grandparents was famous and that used to happen quite a lot, like for example, even some of the
Alomar, named in that way, also the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, he even said
about himself, I am the son of Abdulmutallab, right?
		
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			He said, and I've no Abdulmutallab. He said once, he was making a point, and obviously, he's not the
literal son of Abdulmutallab, he was the grandson of Italy. But you might say that, you know,
because that's what it means, like you're, you are the child of your grandparents, right? So it's in
us in a figurative way, and it's true as well.
		
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			So, why would a person claim that their father is somebody else, or try to kind of deny their
parentage,
		
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			they might do that out of spite for the father, you know,
		
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			or they might do it, because maybe the father was not a good man, or maybe they, you know, they feel
harmed by that father, or maybe they just have some kind of family rift, etc, right.
		
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			Or it could be
		
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			for some kind of worldly gain. So by attributing yourself to another man, you know, by claiming that
such and such as your father, you could gain a higher status, right? Higher lineage.
		
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			You might be able to inherit, for example, more money, stuff like that, you know, so you can see the
the negative kind of intentions that a person would have, in trying to reject their True Father's
connection and then tried to claim somebody else's hope that's kind of clear, I think there's a
question. What about people who choose to change their name away from their family name by deed
poll? Because they don't want to be associated, or want a change as part of a fresh start?
		
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			Went to health related? Well, you know, I don't want to say anything about any specific person or a
specific situation. But the general rule ruling for that is, it's not, it's just a fact, a statement
of fact, you know, your lineage is just a statement of fact, Prophet sallallahu wasallam, his
ancestors, some of them were mushriks, you know,
		
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			he's not going to deny their parentage, he's not going to deny that they were not allowed, for
example, right? There Muttalib. He did not embrace Islam, right.
		
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			But the Prophet SAW, Selim said, I am the son of the Muttalib.
		
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			So generally speaking, it's just a statement of fact, your lineage, your family, etc. And I think
that people who try to change that it can be counterproductive. It's counterproductive because it
might not achieve what they think it's going to achieve. Right?
		
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			That's one thing. The second thing is, what about the children? What about your children? Right?
What about your grandchildren, they have a right to know, the reality of their lineage, you know,
and if you try to erase that,
		
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			then it's going to have a knock on effect on the next generation, the next generation cetera.
		
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			I can't think of a situation where it would be like, considered absolutely necessary. You know,
unless somebody was having to change their complete identity because of threats and that were a
crime that they might have committed, and now they're free and they they need to disassociate
themselves from their previous name, etc, right? I can't think of you know, maybe that's my own
limitation. I can't think of strong enough reasons why a person would
		
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			need to do that. But the main thing is here.
		
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			Claiming somebody else is your father. That is the main point, right? That's the main thing that is
forbidden here. We're talking about majors in number 60 is quite an interesting one because we
wouldn't normally associate this with being a major sin. I think a lot of people wouldn't.
		
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			And that is a GW Well, Mira to
		
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			wear leather do, which is arguing, picking apart a person's words, and quarreling. There's also all
sorts of argumentation. Basically, this idea, ALLAH SubhanA, Allah says and of
		
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			Mankind, Amina Nursey, are those whose speech really impresses you, right.
		
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			And he calls Allah to witness as to what is in his heart. Yet he is the fiercest of opponents. And
when he goes away, he strives throughout the land to cause corruption there in and destroy crops and
animals. And Allah does not love corruption.
		
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			So, there's people who use speech,
		
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			to deceive, to argue and to cause corruption. That's, that's the gist of the point that we're making
here. And
		
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			what does what do these terms mean? You know, quarreling? What were the translations they were
arguing, picking apart a person's words and quarreling monologue was early explained. And he said
that picking apart somebody's words means attacking somebody's speech, by trying to just pick out
all the mistakes in it.
		
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			And the only motive you have is
		
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			contempt for that person. You're just trying to show how clever you are trying to basically
		
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			you know, show that person up, right, expose that person or show that person up.
		
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			But you're not sincerely trying to get to the truth. It's basically that you're just trying to pick
apart and overly analyze their words,
		
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			out of contempt for that person.
		
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			Right. And so that disputation, is what relates to clarifying various, various legal positions and
making a case for them. So that's not blameworthy. You know, when you're just trying to argue a case
for why you think this opinion is stronger, for example, right? Or this mother herb, this,
		
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			you know, view is better.
		
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			And you're giving a sincere kind of case for that. That's not a negative thing.
		
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			However, arguing is basically, persistence in speech.
		
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			So you're, you're basically just keep on insisting and insisting and sitting going on and on and on.
		
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			And you're doing it in order to gain something, usually, either something, you know, dunya, we
something worldly? And subhanAllah, you know, I was thinking about this, like, what examples are
there of this kind of thing in our times?
		
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			And I think, you know, there are people nowadays, who, basically because they are attached to a
certain ideology, even within Muslims, I mean, right. They're so attached to a certain group or sect
or ideology, that they're almost like put up to arguing against others, in order to discredit them
in order to make their argument look better. You know, and they're very persistent. The, when you
see the discussions, they're not? Well, most of the time, they're not even two way discussions.
		
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			Nowadays, you know, there's this trend of people, unfortunately,
		
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			basically, taking
		
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			a video of somebody online
		
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			and taking it apart in these reaction type videos, right. And discrediting that person picking apart
their words, usually not always
		
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			analyzing them in the worst possible way, right? With the worst possible meaning.
		
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			Sometimes out of context, sometimes, you can see the insincerity in it, you know, because it's like
cutting and pasting taking little bits of what somebody said and,
		
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			and trying to make a case for how wrong that person is, and how right your worldview is. Right?
		
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			And it's like the most pretentious way to do that. If you're sincere. If you're sincere, and you
want to find the truth. You don't go behind people's backs, take clips, analyze clips, and then
just, you know, put them out there like that.
		
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			Especially people who are accessible to you, especially fellow Muslims.
		
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			You could reach out to that person, have a proper sincere dialogue with that person. Right. Ask them
questions about what their real opinion is and why they said this, for example, or why that if if
you think that's important that is and it's questionable whether
		
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			Those types of things are even important to be honest.
		
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			But if a person was to do it sincerely, it would be more like a dialogue wouldn't it wouldn't be
this kind of, you know, cut and paste job.
		
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			That's the first thing. The second thing is,
		
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			in our times, sometimes people are literally paid to be representatives of some ideology or other
right. And that I mean that generally in the wider public and in the media, for example, right? You
have these people who think
		
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			which lobby has paid them, right to represent that view. And sometimes you can even see on their
faces, they know they're not speaking the truth. They know that they don't, that they're making
fallacious arguments, but they have to stick to their ideology, they have to stick to their robotic
		
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			way of speaking, the sincerity is not there. Right, because they're too attached to this ideology.
And that's why, as Muslims, we have to be careful not to do that.
		
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			You know, I'm not saying that there isn't a stronger opinion, you know, etc. I'm not saying that
there isn't. There aren't some things that are true deviations, right? From the Orthodox
understanding, or from Iijima from the consensus, there are things that are true deviations from
that. But there is a spectrum of stuff that is legitimate difference of opinion.
		
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			And when you see people getting bogged down in arguing and argumentation in that in those
departments,
		
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			as a Muslim, just let it go.
		
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			You know, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter that much. Especially if it's something that we're in
which there is a legitimate difference of opinion.
		
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			You don't need to force people to follow the opinion that you follow. If somebody sincerely asks
you,
		
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			then fine, right? Explain it to them. But to have arguments and disputes about these types of
things. You know, we need to ask ourselves, Is it really sincere? And is it really wise?
		
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			Some points to note
		
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			is that the blameworthy arguing that we're talking about in this section is
		
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			arguing without knowledge. That's the crux of it. That's what my mother had the emphasizes, you
know, or when you when you go on and on, arguing, you know, persisting in arguing a particular case,
when you don't even have all the facts in front of you.
		
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			For example, a cake, a judge, you know, a judge, putting four or even like, you could even say, like
a lawyer or something, right, putting forward and argument for something without
		
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			having the facts in front of them.
		
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			only taking one side of the argument, for example, once one person's view, that's why you see a
llama, they would never, you know, just make a judgement based on. For example, if there's a marital
dispute, they wouldn't just hear the, the woman side of things, well, they wouldn't just hear the
man side of things, and then react.
		
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			Because there's always two sides to a story, right? And you'll see that people who are real focus,
really have
		
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			deep understanding and knowledge, they will be very careful
		
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			to make a statement based on one side of the story.
		
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			Sometimes hearing the other side of the story shows a completely different picture. Right? So
arguing without knowledge. And by the way, that's another thing that a lot of these, like people
online who are constantly arguing, Muslims arguing with each other, virtual arguing, basically
refuting one another and
		
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			treating one another in the most terrible way. When they're all believers. They're all Muslims.
		
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			Also named Muslims, you know, yes, they have different approaches, etc. But they're constantly
attacking one another and taking apart each other's words. And when you look into the backgrounds of
half of these people,
		
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			you know, they're not that knowledgeable.
		
00:29:27 --> 00:29:34
			To be quite frank, like they have not really studied for more than a few years, maybe sometimes, if
that
		
00:29:35 --> 00:29:46
			sometimes the Arabic, they haven't really studied Arabic. They couldn't pick up an Arabic book and
read it fluently, right? They don't know how fluently in that way.
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:50
			They've only studied from one particular
		
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			perspective, or one particular school. And so they don't really have an appreciation for other
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:06
			schools or other views, right? And their proofs and their evidences or their perspectives.
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:13
			And so, really, they're arguing with that knowledge, arguing without deep knowledge.
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:22
			And so it'd be better. If, you know, instead of getting involved in arguments with people, we all
went away,
		
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			and worked on ourselves and studied more. Because when you're in the early part of your study
journey, you think, you know, everything.
		
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			Things are very clear, things are very black and white. But the more you study,
		
00:30:41 --> 00:31:03
			I'm not saying things get unclear. That's not the point. The point is, you realize that there are
nuances, you realize other people's perspectives, you realize that actually, Allah subhanaw taala
made the Omar have a certain spectrum of valid difference.
		
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			And if you think about it, why would it not be so
		
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			when Allah made us all with such different personalities,
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:16
			you know, we have such different personalities.
		
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			And certain people have a certain type of personality. And you can see, you can almost see, like, in
some of the, some of the kind of Sunni groups, if you want to call them that.
		
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			People with certain personality traits are drawn to certain types of groups.
		
00:31:35 --> 00:31:36
			That's my theory.
		
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			Because I've just noticed that, you know, people who have people who are very orderly, they're very
kind of,
		
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			they need things to be very black and white, they need things to be very clear. They're very
conscientious, you'll see that they tend to be drawn towards a particular type of group amongst, you
know, I'm talking amongst some knees and people who are, you know, very kind of open, chilled. Okay,
I might be stereotyping people, but these are personality traits, right?
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:29
			They have a certain level of lack of attention to detail, you know, they're not really looking at
the bigger picture, they're not looking at the details, you'll see that they're drawn to certain
types of groups.
		
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			I don't know, am I the only one who's noticed that
		
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			maybe you can reflect on some of the personalities in your own family. And you'll appreciate that
Subhanallah not everyone is on the same wavelength. Everyone looks at things in the same way.
		
00:32:49 --> 00:33:11
			And it's often linked to personality. Now what about debating with non Muslims? And like I look it
up as Allah tells us in the Quran, right? Would you ideal home Villa Lottie here, son, right? Well,
Allah subhanaw taala tells us to think of the next. This one isn't a similar idea.
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:35
			And do not argue with the people of the Scripture, except in a way that is best. The letter here is
on except for those who commit injustice amongst them and say, We believe in that which has been
revealed to us and reveal to you and our God and your God is one. And we are Muslims. You know, we
submit to Him.
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:53
			We are Muslims to him, we submit to him. Yeah, in a number of places in the Quran, Allah says, you
know, have these kinds of discussions or arguments with the people of the book in the way that is
best. So the scholars kind of say, well, there's different aspects to that. There's
		
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			the fact that Allah says use hikma, you know,
		
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			use wisdom.
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:20
			That means doing it in the right way, the right time in the right place. Not every single occasion
might be the right situation to have a debate or discussion where you're, you know, putting forward
a case for Islam.
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:41
			And also more either Hassan Yanni, which means, like, good exhortation could translate as right, or
graceful exhortation. And the scholars explained that as being, you know, use words and exhort them,
like reason with them
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:52
			in a way that softens their hearts. Give them good evidences that makes them really think, from
Revelation and also from the intellect as well.
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:55
			You know, this is one of the things that
		
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			some of the scholars point out then it's not always
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:17
			Just using proofs from the Quran, you can also use proofs from common sense, making them think, with
their own intellect. Because Allah subhanaw taala gave us our intellects, right. And Allah in the
Quran uses arguments
		
00:35:18 --> 00:35:21
			through reason and logic, and, you know,
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:24
			common sense.
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:34
			And we should do that, too. So the idea is to use whatever the best means are in the best way with
the best. Also, lastly, with the best character,
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:38
			you know, exhibit good character.
		
00:35:39 --> 00:35:42
			And unfortunately, again, you know,
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:47
			when you look, especially at some of the dour stuff that goes on,
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:50
			nowadays, right.
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:58
			People may have good intentions, but so often, especially the stuff that's filmed and put online,
		
00:35:59 --> 00:36:38
			a lot of it especially like, that's done by people who are just like on the streets, and street,
dour type situations, can degenerate into terrible situations, right, and name calling, the worst
types of character, etc, etc. So, I think we have to be really careful. Because, you know, sometimes
you wonder, has the ego got the better of some people, you know, in those types of situations? And I
know that sometimes there are non Muslims or people who are even ex Muslims, right? Who are very
aggressive, who,
		
00:36:39 --> 00:37:29
			you know, exhibit vile tactics against Muslims. And so I'm not saying we have to be lovey dovey
towards them, you know, I'm saying that, however, sometimes we need to ask ourselves, are we giving
them more oxygen, right, and more of a platform by engaging with them constantly? You know, because
some of these people are not sincere, you can see very clearly they're not sincere. They're not
trying to get to the truth. They're just, they're attention seeking. And I feel that sometimes
Muslims, we feed them, we feed their desire for attention, and we give them oxygen. Whereas if we
were to just leave them, yeah. Obviously, like, especially ex Muslims, who call themselves ex
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:30
			Muslims, and
		
00:37:32 --> 00:37:33
			really want everyone to know about that.
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:42
			They're obviously got some hang ups, because they're still attaching themselves to like, Muslim, the
word Muslim, right, even though it's ex Muslim.
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:44
			And so
		
00:37:46 --> 00:38:30
			we need to ask ourselves, are we making the situation worse? Are we giving them more time more
attention? By engaging with them? You know, just the question. On the other hand, there are lots of
amazing efforts in dour that you see, you know, we have some amazing like that was taught in our
area, for example, where brothers quietly have been doing our work for years and years on this data
store. Many people have come to Islam, they don't hardly, they might have filmed it once, or
sometimes like in order to teach people about power. But generally speaking, it's not like a show,
you know, unfortunately, a lot of our stuff online has become like a show, like clickbait, trying to
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:32
			show how, you know,
		
00:38:34 --> 00:38:36
			how good you are arguing, etc.
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:53
			But, of course, there are a lot of sincere efforts out there as well. And you can see that people
are having decent discussions, decent dialogue, decent conversations, where they're actually
listening to one another, you know, I think those are the things that we should be
		
00:38:54 --> 00:39:06
			encouraging. So then imam of the hobby actually has this whole section on good character in Kabyle,
really emphasizing good character and
		
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			you know, the evil of arrogance.
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:31
			Subhanallah one of our she'll, he was counseling a couple, and he was telling them, the number one
thing he said to them after they had arguments or they had like, a big, some kind of dispute that
was causing them to come to the chef, and the shift said to them.
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:34
			The first advice I'm gonna give you is
		
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			to both of you, is let go of your ego.
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:45
			You need to let go of your ego. If you don't let go of that ego
		
00:39:46 --> 00:39:47
			and the need to be right.
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:50
			Then,
		
00:39:52 --> 00:39:59
			yeah, you're gonna keep having arguments. You're just gonna keep digging things deeper and deeper
and deeper.
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:02
			Making things worse and worse and worse.
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:08
			But the quickest way to stop an argument is to let go of the ego.
		
00:40:09 --> 00:40:19
			And that desire to be right to have the final word, right? desire to have the final say, The Last
Laugh. All of that is ego.
		
00:40:21 --> 00:40:37
			In this hadith jabber Abdullah reported the Messenger of Allah Salah when it was said, Verily the
most beloved and nearest him to my gathering on the date of resurrection are those are those of you
with best character?
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:49
			Rarely the most reprehensible of Utomi and the furthest from my gathering on the day of resurrection
will be the pompous, the extravagant and the pretentious.
		
00:40:50 --> 00:40:58
			And they said, O Messenger, Allah, we know the pompous fotophire rune in the Hadith, and the
extravagant mother.
		
00:41:00 --> 00:41:05
			Was it the shad? diccon? I think it was, but who are the pretentious?
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:12
			The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, they are the arrogant ones.
		
00:41:14 --> 00:41:21
			Subhan Allah. So here, there was this idea as well, I forgot to mention here that this sophistry,
this last one sophistry.
		
00:41:23 --> 00:41:46
			This is also a blameworthy way of arguing, where you basically use very complicated words. And you
use these impressive sounding words or you kind of use word salad, you know what, like, all these
words that don't really mean anything. Like when you put them together that what does that actually
mean? But by doing that, you kind of baffled people and you
		
00:41:48 --> 00:42:33
			give the illusion that you've won the argument, when actually you haven't really used proper
reasoning, where you're using fallacious logic, but you're just trying to bamboozle and, you know,
like impress people. This happens a lot in academia, by the way, right university, you can see this
a lot. Half the time you're sitting in a lecture, not half the time sometimes sitting in a lecture
and you listen to somebody or you read a paper, or you're like, this person could have said this,
his whole argument or whole argument in a much simpler, more pleasantly worded way, right. But they
on purpose, have used the most
		
00:42:34 --> 00:42:48
			difficult words that you have to look up in the dictionary. Like, even the average person in that
department doesn't understand. Why because they're trying to they're obviously trying to impress,
trying to show off right.
		
00:42:49 --> 00:43:30
			But true eloquence is not over complicated. You know, for Saha is about clarity, is beauty as well,
of course, that can mean using special, like very nice words. It can use mean using eloquent and
elegant words. But true eloquence is clarity as well. Clarity is not something that makes people sit
there confused, not being able to understand what you're saying. By the way, have you ever heard
like somebody who's in a particular group, right? For example, a group that's obsessed with, you
know, all the different groups, Slavic groups, they're all obsessed with something or other right?
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:38
			And have you ever noticed that sometimes when we're having a discussion, or when you're listening to
that person give a speech,
		
00:43:39 --> 00:44:12
			they start off really sincere. But then it's like, the ideology that they follow has to take over.
And they have to say something that makes you know, all right, he's in that group. Or she's in that
group. You know, I mean, like, you know, immediately from a particular word they use or a particular
phrase they use, and it's not from them. It's just, it's like being a parrot parroting the
narrative, that ideology of that group, you know, get into trouble saying this type of things.
		
00:44:15 --> 00:44:29
			Wait, is this sisters? Look, I'm not trying to say there's no such thing as truth. You know, that
everyone's opinion cat is fine. And whatever. I'm not saying that. I think there's a principle that
my dad taught me that's very useful. And I would like to encourage all of us to adopt it.
		
00:44:30 --> 00:44:38
			He said to me, when I was like, starting off giving talks and things, he said, stick to the things
that are agreed upon, you know,
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:48
			like, don't talk about the stuff that is not agreed upon that is unnecessary to talk about,
especially when you are still seeking knowledge.
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:59
			Because what ends up happening is you're so short at the beginning of your journey, you're so sure
about what the truth is about any particular issue. And you might be preaching that and then later
you're you find out
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:17
			Will you realize actually I you know, I shouldn't have said that should I didn't have the full
picture there cetera right. But when it comes to the things that Muslims have agreed upon, you know
the the aspects of consensus, that's really what we want to call all Muslims to right
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:32
			all of humanity to the things that are agreed upon. So if we focus on that, and that's one of the
reasons why I chose this topic, for example, for this for this set of classes, because
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:36
			the major sins are important things for everyone to know.
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:42
			You know, instead of choosing some kind of obscure topic, that you know,
		
00:45:43 --> 00:45:55
			there might be some difference of opinion on etc. I'd rather focus on the things that are important
big things that Muslims are generally agreed upon,
		
00:45:56 --> 00:46:12
			that all Muslims should know in order for us to be safe from the fire in sha Allah, and to please
Allah and if all of us focus on that in our Of course those detailed discussions and those things
they can take place but there's a time place and
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:25
			you know, probably a setting for those but when it comes to general the general public and our
families for example, and you know, the people in our families the type of data that we want to do
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:31
			in our own communities, we should be mainly focusing on the things that
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:39
			are agreed upon the aspects of consensus you know, what does Islam What do all Muslims agree on?
		
00:46:40 --> 00:46:45
			Alternately Muslims, five pillars of Islam, right? Muslims, I'm not even doing the five pillars.
		
00:46:47 --> 00:46:52
			Right? So we've got enough of a job there to get people just to
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:55
			just get back to the basics
		
00:46:56 --> 00:46:58
			inshallah we'll continue next time.
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:01
			We've just got
		
00:47:03 --> 00:47:13
			nine more nine more major sense and these are you know, inshallah quite quick ones because they're
quite easy to explain.
		
00:47:15 --> 00:47:23
			So, I expect us to be able to do them in two more sessions. So does Aquila Heron sisters
		
00:47:24 --> 00:47:26
			if there's no other questions
		
00:47:29 --> 00:47:32
			so a lot of let you go. does not go now Karen.
		
00:47:33 --> 00:47:46
			And with that, I will leave you Subhanak Aloha Mel B hum dig a chateau La ilaha illa Anta Estelle
felucca to like, see you next time Insha Allah
		
00:47:47 --> 00:47:57
			do tell, you know your family and friends to join us as well. We've got two more sessions left.
Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh