Fatima Barkatulla – 70 Major Sins #25 – Sin 47 Disobedience to Husband, Sin 48 Making Graven & Other Images

Fatima Barkatulla
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The speakers discuss the responsibility of men in society, including financial provision and the importance of providing guidance and support to spousals. They stress the importance of men being the drivers of the family and the need for them to serve their husbands and be committed to their spouse's needs. The speakers also emphasize the importance of avoiding harmsome behavior and avoiding photo shootings during marriage. They stress the need for people to have a clear idea of what is real and avoid activities that cause their image to be seen.

AI: Summary ©

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			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam and are sorely left your sisters are Salam aleikum wa
rahmatullah wa barakato.
		
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			And welcome to another lesson
		
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			of the 17 major sins and how to avoid them based on cable cut by air by mom and never we, today
we're going to do
		
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			we're going to talk about a major sin that
		
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			people find hard to talk about this one, you know, like I even had some discussion discussions with
Chu.
		
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			And when I wanted to prepare for this class, and
		
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			even they said that it's almost become like,
		
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			a topic that she will shy away from as well, especially in western countries. So Charla, we're not
going to shy away from it. Because when it comes to matters of the deen, you know, we don't have a
right to, to censor the deen. Right. If you think about I remember one time I was giving a talk to
sisters about the hijab. And there were some women in the audience who, who did not wear hijab. He
did not observe hijab, right in any way. And obviously, there were some tough things that I was
saying, you know, from their perspective, I thought they might get offended, you know, because I was
talking about the obligation, etc. And I remember afterwards, one of my dear sisters, sister, Rama
		
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			Abdul Latif, don't know if you know her. She's a wonderful sister here in
		
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			London, who is $1 bottle M. And really like, I think she's a counselor as well, she's really a wise
sister, she took me aside afterwards. And she said, you know, Fatima, when you're, when you're
giving a talk, and you're, you're telling people about a command of Allah, then never apologize. You
know, she said, never apologize. And the reason why she said is because I remember when I was giving
the talk, said, Look, I don't want to offend anyone. You know, I was like, being like, a bit
apologetic, I guess. She felt and so she said, Don't Don't be embarrassed, and don't ever apologize,
because you're telling them what their Creator asked of them.
		
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			You're giving them a gift at the end of the day, right? So
		
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			with that spirit in shall,
		
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			we shall proceed. So one of the major sins, major sin number 47 is no shows or marotti. Allah zoji
her wife's disobedience towards her pet her husband, or wife's disobedience towards the husband.
		
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			Now, you know, sometimes you can ask yourself, like,
		
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			in our culture, it's not normal to say obedience, right? Like people don't, apparently, even the
Christian Church has removed, you know, when when they have a marriage, marriage vows.
		
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			They used to be to,
		
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			to, to having to hold to something and to obey, right?
		
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			Right. So one of the vowels that the wife would give, when she was getting married, you know, that
the altar, she would say
		
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			that she agrees to obey her husband.
		
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			And I think it was Prince William, and sorry, I don't know why I keep referring to the royal family.
It's very British of me to do that. But yeah,
		
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			it's just I just happen to know, Royal Family trivia.
		
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			But also because if you think about it, the elite family in any society, they set the tone for the
rest of the society, right? So I remember when Prince William was getting married, they removed the
words to obey, from the vows that
		
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			his wife, Kate Middleton was going to say, in the church. So you can see that's what's happening in
our society. Now that even saying that you are willing to obey your husband has become like, a weird
thing, right?
		
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			Well,
		
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			why should it be like, when we say obedience to parents, people don't flinch. Right? Like one of the
major sins is disobedience to parents.
		
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			Right? Well, treating them not treating them well. But it's also disobedience to parents. That's a
major sin. And that's a major sin even when you're an adult. Right? It's
		
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			Even a major scene, if you're an adult, if your parents ask you to do something, and it's not her
arm, and you're able to do it, then generally speaking, you're supposed to do it
		
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			in everything, okay? in every area, but
		
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			generally we understand obedience to parents.
		
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			When it comes to the husband, people have a problem with it. But they only have a problem with it
because they don't understand the balance that Islam seeks to create in society, with the hierarchy
within the family. Okay.
		
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			And they don't understand the immense responsibility that Islam places upon the shoulders of men on
the shoulders of husbands.
		
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			Right, wherever a person seems to have a certain privilege, you will see that they also have a
higher degree of responsibility, and if
		
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			that's the case for the husband as well. Whereas in wider society, husband and wife are being seen
as partners now. Okay.
		
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			both equally are supposed to be responsible for financial provision.
		
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			You know, splitting the bill and all that, right.
		
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			At the end of the day,
		
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			it's unrealistic because there's no equality at all. How is it equality if husband and wife are both
responsible for financial provision, and yet the wife bears the majority of the burden of
childbirth, pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing.
		
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			And has to bear the responsibility for financial provision. Like how is that equal?
		
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			That there's, it's the idea that that's equal is a fallacy. It's a fallacy. So we need to not buy
into this narrative. A lot kind of Allah tells us in the Quran, original ko Muna Allah Nisa BMF
football Allahu Allahu Allah about will be mad. I'm football I mean, I'm wearing him.
		
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			For smiley face smiley had to Barney dad one half ivatan little baby, B Mahaffey, the law. Men are
in charge of women, men are the protectors and maintainers of women, sometimes people translated as
they are a warm
		
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			over the women, because men have been provisioned by Allah over women, the my father Allahu Allah,
whom Allah about, because of what the quality is, Allah has given one over the other.
		
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			What the mountain football mean, I'm worthy him, and because they are tasked with supporting them
financially.
		
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			And then Allah says, so the righteous women, the pious women are devoutly obedient.
		
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			And they God in their husbands absence, what Allah would have them God.
		
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			And of course, this ayah means that men, Allah has made men in charge of women in the family, the
husband is the CEO.
		
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			Right? husband is the director, if you like, could say the husband is the director and the wife is
the CEO. Actually, that's one way of looking at it, right?
		
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			But the,
		
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			the person who the buck stops with is the husband, he makes the final decisions. That's not to say
that a husband should never consult his wife.
		
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			Of course, a husband should consult his wife, any wise husband would do that anyway, right? Unless
he wants, you know, constant,
		
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			constant headache. Right? You would always consult his wife anyway, but he doesn't have to. And at
the end of the day, he's the I mean, he is the person in charge. And
		
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			when you're when you are me, if you might consult with people, you might do shorter, but you make
the final decisions. Right? So the husband is the head of the house.
		
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			And that's because Allah has given men certain characteristics, just as he's given women certain
characteristics, and so men are suited to that role. Allah created men to be suited to that role.
And it keeps the balance in the family
		
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			and also because Allah has given them the
		
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			responsibility for providing for the family.
		
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			So there's a huge responsibility and burden on them.
		
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			And therefore, because Allah has given them so much responsibility and a higher degree of
responsibility,
		
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			Allah has also placed,
		
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			given them certain rights, and asked us ask the wives to be obedient to their husbands. And God in
their husband's absence, what Allah would have them God, yeah, and he, when the husband is away,
you, as a wife are protecting and taking care of his well, his children, and of course yourself in
terms of the way you dress, who you allow into your home.
		
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			And you just conducting affairs the way your husband would want them to be conducted, right, so you
respect your husband's wishes, even when he's not there, even when he's not there.
		
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			So look, let's talk about some of the husband's responsibilities. Because the reason why we have to
mention this is because I think a lot of the time, we've forgotten this. And that's why sisters find
it hard to accept that there's such thing as obedience, you know,
		
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			when you see all of the responsibility of the husband, you realize, okay, this is fair, of course,
Allah Subhanallah is just
		
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			some of the husband's responsibilities are to provide the manner to his wife. Okay, the dour, which
is something that when you're getting married, you, you can ask for a certain amount as a gift,
okay?
		
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			And he must give that, okay.
		
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			You know, if he agrees, and he's made the marriage contract with you, whatever has been put into
that contract, he should be, should be on it, to provide food, shelter, clothing, for his wife's
needs, according to what is the norm, right, according to what is the norm, or what he is able to
provide? So according to what is the norm could be like, somebody of your
		
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			background,
		
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			what's normal for somebody of your background to be provided with, right? So like, Okay, if you're
from a background where it was normal for you to have servants, okay, as an example, maybe you're
like, you know, upper class family, and you had servants or your life, and that's
		
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			what you expect. And that's what your husband has the ability to provide, then
		
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			the norm for you is to have servants in your house, right.
		
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			But if it's not that, for example, then it's not.
		
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			So whatever a woman of your background, or a woman from your, of your social status, whatever the
norm is, that's what is expected for the husband to provide.
		
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			And to provide for all the needs of the children, of course, his children, not to break the terms of
your marriage contract, whether it's implicit terms, or implicit terms, meaning things that are only
part of the marriage contract by default, for example, like we said, the provision and then also
		
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			to be able to have sexual *, right.
		
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			So those are the implicit terms. And also the right to have children, for example, you know,
		
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			like if a wife wants to have children or husband shouldn't be
		
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			stopping them from having children,
		
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			or any extra terms that were agreed when contracting the marriage. So maybe when you were putting
together the marriage contract, there was some kind of stipulations that were put in there, for
example, that the husband would stay in a particular country,
		
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			that you would stay in a particular country together, etc, you know, any kinds of stipulations that
were agreed in the marriage contract, they should be honored.
		
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			And to treat co wives equally in terms of division of time and finances. Right? Unless a co wife
agrees that she doesn't want as much time. Fine, right. But in terms of the moon,
		
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			each wife should be given an equal division of time and equality when it comes to gifts and anything
kind of financial, right. And also to teach his family the obligatory aspects of the deen
		
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			or provide the means to do so.
		
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			So one of the Rights of the Child, for example, is that they, the father teaches them for him,
right? So whatever provision they can be for that is the Father,
		
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			Son of sometimes the wife's responsibilities
		
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			are obedience, if the husband asks his wife to do something,
		
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			something that is not disobedience to Allah, then the wife should do her best to fulfill that
request.
		
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			Also to make herself available to him,
		
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			physically,
		
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			sexually,
		
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			do not allow anyone to enter his house. He doesn't want. So she should only leave the house with His
permission. And sometimes people misunderstand that. And they think, does that mean like, every time
I'm going out, I have to like, explicitly ask my husband, know, if there's, if there's a general
agreement between you that you know, you go out for your needs, so that's fine. But for example,
you're having an argument, and you want to walk out,
		
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			right? having an argument, you feel like storming out of the house,
		
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			you can't just do that, if he says,
		
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			Do not, do not leave the house, you can't leave the house, that's
		
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			basically a sin. Right.
		
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			Um, and to serve Him as is considered the norm. So
		
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			as in, you know, just general cooking and those types of things.
		
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			If it's the norm in your society, for you to cook and, or to do whatever household things, then it
becomes part of your responsibilities as well, right?
		
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			some points to remember. So this major sin is no shows which is, which can be translated as
rebellion, or refusing to acknowledge the authority of the husband. Okay.
		
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			And
		
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			the husband is ultimately the head of the family.
		
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			And that needs to be understood. And unfortunately, I think it seems that some people from the
younger generation don't have not been taught that because maybe because scholars are afraid to sort
of say it in explicit terms.
		
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			It's politically incorrect or whatever. Right? It seems like a lot of the younger generation that
missed the memo, you know, they did, they did, they never really heard that. And so now, when they
get married, they have unrealistic expectations of marriage.
		
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			And we ended up with weak men.
		
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			Right? We need men. And we ended up with women who, who don't get it, don't understand that
actually, that hierarchy, if you want to call it that, within the family, is there for the benefit
of the family is there for the benefit of each person involved.
		
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			If the wife is unhappy with the requests or demands of her husband, then of course, she can
negotiate with him right in a decent way.
		
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			And if a situation arises, where they just can't resolve it between themselves, of course, she tried
to resolve things between ourselves, right? As a husband and wife, you don't need to take every
problem outside the family. And in fact, sometimes that's very detrimental, especially for little
arguments and things like that, of course, you should try to sort them out between yourselves. But
if you can't, then Islam encap encourages us to seek mediation. And mediation is where
		
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			you either both go to a person of knowledge, right? or it doesn't have to even be a personal
knowledge. It can be somebody from either side, right? So
		
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			who is considered
		
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			an elder or some kind of a well wisher a wise person right? From her side or from and from his side.
		
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			That can be a way of mediating between them.
		
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			Or arbitration. Arbitration is more formal in the sense that
		
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			the woman brings somebody from her side who it doesn't have to be their father doesn't have to be
someone like that. It can be a chef that she trusts or a family member who she feels or reference
		
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			sent her well, and cares about her, etc. And then the the, the the husband bring somebody who he
feels that way about as well.
		
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			And they agree that once they have sat down and explained the issues, whatever those two people
decide,
		
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			becomes binding on the two.
		
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			Do you see whatever they decide becomes binding on the two.
		
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			So that's what arbitration is. And then to escalate that even further, like if arbitration doesn't
work, then the escalation is basically
		
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			you know, in front of our guardi or a chef, right? The Sharia council or whatever, right? But
obviously, we want it not to get to that stage, we hope that things can be resolved either between
the couple, or
		
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			through mediation or arbitration. Right.
		
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			I just thought I'd explain the kind of framework, you know,
		
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			that Islam gives to a couple in terms of solving disputes.
		
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			Now, abhorred IRA are the Alon who reported the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
if a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity and obeys her
husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes.
		
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			So Panama,
		
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			I just reflect on that for a moment. If a woman prays have five, prayer five prayers on time,
		
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			fast the month of Ramadan.
		
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			God your chastity, meaning don't have any illegal sexual relations
		
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			and obeys her husband. She will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes. And this this habit has
been classed as a Hey,
		
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			if you think about that, that's a gift. You know, that's a gift to women. It's a gift to women.
		
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			Put it up on your fridge, you know, as a list as a checklist. Am I keeping up with these things?
		
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			I'm not the only one who also said the Messenger of Allah sallallahu Sallam said, If a man calls his
wife to his bed,
		
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			obviously it means for sexual * or some kind of sexual
		
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			you know, relations, and she refuses, does not come.
		
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			And he spends the night angry with her.
		
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			The angels will curse her until the morning.
		
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			So panela. So you see this hadith immediately makes that a major sin. Right?
		
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			Because if the angels curse somebody, then that is a major sin. Right?
		
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			And it shows you the immense kind of
		
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			importance of realizing that as a wife, you
		
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			you're actually helping your husband to stay chaste, just as he is supposed to be helping you to
stay chaste. Right? Why do we get married, one of the reasons is to
		
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			be able to have a loving marriage, a loving union, but also a sexual union, right? In a Hello way,
in a way that is pleasing to God, pleasing to Allah, and to be able to have children. But we can't
diminish the fact that an important part of it is to be able to have sexual relations and to express
ourselves sexually, right?
		
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			So here, this had these really spells out for us that as a wife, if your husband is calling you,
even if you're busy doing something, okay.
		
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			You should respond.
		
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			Okay.
		
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			And this is why there's a hadith about, you know, not fasting, voluntary fasts when your husband is
present without asking his permission, because when you're in a state of fasting, obviously, you
can't have sexual relations. And that kind of puts a barrier between you and your husband. But you
can obviously you have to do that in Ramadan. Okay, that's a must. But outside of Ramadan, when it's
say
		
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			non obligatory, fast, then you should ask your husband or generally get his hand
		
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			Mission, you know,
		
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			so that if he does want to have relations, he can do that.
		
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			And it's not prevented through you fasting.
		
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			And remember that's both ways like even both ways in the sense even though the there's no Hadith
that explicitly says that there is a greater degree of responsibility
		
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			mentioned in this Hadith, generally speaking, you know, the prophets are seldom told men off who
would fast all the time and stay up all night praying and neglected their wives. He criticized men
who did that, right?
		
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			points to remember that it's both the husband and wife's moral duty to fulfill each other's sexual
desires. Right? It's not just the wife's duty, it's the husband's duty as well. Right to the best of
their ability. This doesn't mean, okay, that the husband can force his wife. Unfortunately, I have
heard dad sometimes talk about this concept of
		
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			terrible to talk about it. But this idea of marital *, right, which is an unfortunate term
really, you know, it's a very Western term. I wouldn't personally use that term, but meaning
		
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			a wife being forced,
		
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			coerced to have sexual * by a husband. And sometimes I talk about it in a very ambiguous
way. I think it's very clear that the Sharia there's no evidence in the Sharia that a husband has
been allowed to force his wife, force his wife to have sexual *. against her will,
however, listen carefully. This is it's a it's a nuanced point that I'm making, right? However, it
is the wife's moral duty.
		
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			To not refuse.
		
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			Can you see the subtle distinction in that?
		
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			That Islam does not
		
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			permit a husband to force his wife. However, because a marriage, the marriage contract itself is a
type of consent. Okay? It's like a general consent, isn't it between you both that you can enjoy
each other's company and intimacy? Right? That's the whole point of a marriage contract one of the
main points, right? So because of that, it is the wife's moral duty to not refuse her husband, just
as it's the husband's moral duty, okay? If his wife has sexual needs, that he meets those sexual
needs to the best of his ability, and he doesn't neglect her, right?
		
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			Um, but, okay, if she reviews, if she refuses to have *, or to respond to his advances
		
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			with a valid reason, then
		
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			there's no sin upon, right? If she's in pain, for example, or she's ill, or she's got some other
reason, okay. Only a,
		
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			quite a brutish mountain, right would force a woman who
		
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			is ill, for example, or, or try to even, you know, coerce a woman who's ill to, to have relations
with him, right?
		
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			So if she does have a valid reason, and she can say no, right? But the The point is that it
shouldn't be like an arbitrary thing, you know? And so morally, she would be sinful, if without a
valid reason. She refuses. Okay, so I want you to bear those two things in mind that yes, it's
morally a sin. She's sinful with a lie, Annie, for refusing to have or refusing to have sexual
relations with her husband. without a valid excuse.
		
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			Okay, she's morally sinful.
		
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			But there's nothing in the deen that says that a man is allowed to force his wife to have sexual
relations. If she has a valid reason she can refuse and vice versa, right.
		
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			It could be the other way around as well.
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:59
			You know, some of the all of my talk actually about how you know, even the husband
		
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			He shouldn't neglect his wife, and there should be a minimum sort of sexual intimacy between them.
Right? He should try to maintain that, because the wife also has sexual needs.
		
00:30:15 --> 00:30:32
			Now, although I'm mentioning that I don't want to diminish this major sin, because this major sin is
about the wife, right? It's major sin is specific to the wife. And there are other major sins that
you will have noticed in katolik, about her that are, you could say, are specific to men, right?
		
00:30:34 --> 00:30:41
			Because men hold those roles, for example, the judge, right, the unjust judge, etc, that's going to
be a man.
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:56
			So, you know, these are just basically the major sins are mentioned, sins that are mentioned with
some punishment or some promise of curse or something like that attached to them right?
		
00:30:57 --> 00:31:15
			I will have a man who narrated that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, it's
not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present, except with His permission. So this
is the SU Parag, retrieved fast enough feel fast, not an obligatory fast,
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:20
			or to allow anyone to enter his house without his permission.
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:26
			So if your husband explicitly says to you, I don't want
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:38
			such and such to, to be inside my house, okay. I don't want you to be alone with a man for example,
that shouldn't be happening anyway. But for example, right?
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:43
			You should, you've got to listen to that.
		
00:31:46 --> 00:32:20
			Even hedger, explain this. And he said, this hadith shows that the husbands right over the wife are
more important than doing voluntary good deeds, because fulfilling his right is obligatory, and that
which is obligatory takes precedence over voluntary act. So look, as Muslim women, we should view
this as obedience to Allah. Right? If you're, if you're obeying a lot, it means you're getting
rewarded anyway, you're getting rewarded for being your husband.
		
00:32:23 --> 00:32:24
			So
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:27
			that is in and of itself a good deed.
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:30
			So in sha Allah,
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:37
			you're not losing out, in other words, right? By listening to your husband, or being Yasmine.
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:41
			Before we move on, I like to see if anyone has any
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:52
			questions or comments about that. So we might be able to fit in another two, actually, because I
don't think we need to go into a lot of detail with these ones, but
		
00:32:53 --> 00:33:01
			making images, making images on clothes, walls, things that are in the house, right.
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:06
			Another translation actually says making images on clothes, walls, stones,
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:21
			coins, and all things, whether it be in the wax, paste, iron, copper wool, or anything else, I don't
know where they got that detailed translation, because the actual book doesn't say those details.
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24
			But maybe it's part of the explanation.
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:34
			Anyway, the point is having statues, a person making statues, making sculptures that are of living
things,
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:57
			that is a major sin, right? I'm making images of things that are living also is a major sin, having
images of living things on your walls, right, you should avoid that. Because the angels don't enter
a house that has that.
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:12
			Even Abbas reported the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said every, every maker of graven images
will be in the hellfire. Every image he made will be given a soul to punish him in *.
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:26
			Even a bus said if you must do so, make images of trees, whatever does not have a soul within it.
And like we could we could link this sin to the fact that
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:32
			it was because human beings started making images of
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:48
			living things, right? And then sculptures of living things that they then went down path of
idolatry, right. You must know the story of how
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:59
			the first shark started to happen, right? Because if you think about it, ultimately Sam he must have
been sorry, not he must have been he was you
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:15
			He was a Muslim, right. He was a Wahid, he believed in Allah alone, and his children as well, and
his children's children. But at some point down the line, something changed, right. And so the story
goes that
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:24
			I believe it was, in one of the generations after other money center, many generations after the
money center.
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:47
			When the pious people passed away, right, the elders, they passed away. The people, that generation
that was left behind was very distraught, very distraught, and they thought, you know, we need to
remember our elders in some way, they were so pious.
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:54
			And of course, chevonne came to them. And he encouraged them with that. And he said, Why don't you?
		
00:35:55 --> 00:36:01
			Why don't you create some likeness to them, right.
		
00:36:02 --> 00:36:09
			And so they, they did that they did that, they created something that would remind them of
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:19
			that dead person who had passed that person who had passed away who was pious, and, you know, led
them to making statues.
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:54
			And then, eventually bringing those statues into their place of worship, right, where they used to
worship, Allah alone, said, let's just bring those statues into our place of worship, we'll keep
them at the back. But when we see them, they'll remind us of our pious forefathers, our forebears,
and it will make us better worshipers of Allah. And so they did that. You see how shaytaan works by
stealth, he never gets you to do a sin.
		
00:36:56 --> 00:37:08
			Just like that, you know, if you're a pious person, he doesn't just get you to do a sin like that he
will, he'll just make certain things your way you away slowly. And then they would bring
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:22
			the images closer and closer to the front, right? With each generation, people forgot the purpose of
those images of those statues, and then eventually,
		
00:37:23 --> 00:37:28
			those statues would end up at the front of the masjid or the place of worship.
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:30
			And then
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:48
			they began to worship those idols, instead of calling Allah started calling on those idols. Right?
This is exactly how shirke came about. So we believe as Muslims that
		
00:37:50 --> 00:37:52
			it wasn't that human beings were
		
00:37:53 --> 00:38:08
			polytheists. And then they became monotheists. As you know, some, I don't know, anthropologists seem
to think it's actually the opposite, that human beings were first monotheists and then they became
polytheists.
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:12
			Over time, and
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:20
			you know, anthropologists might say, well, there's no evidence for that, like, we have images and we
have idols.
		
00:38:21 --> 00:38:22
			And then eventually,
		
00:38:24 --> 00:39:04
			we have evidence that people became monotheistic. But the point is that you can't have evidence of
monotheism, right? By definition, because monotheism means that you don't have statues, right? So
that period of monotheism was there before. It was there before the polytheism. And the reason why
you don't have so called evidence of it, or it seems that there is a is because there is no evidence
for people worshiping one God, right? Because they don't have images. That's the whole point. Right?
So
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:13
			this is how she came about. And it could be that this is the reason why, you know, Islam is so
strong against
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:16
			especially statues.
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:36
			And you can see, you know, people do worship statues, people even, they idolize people, right, to an
extreme. And even some people when they put images of the chef in the house, you know, I've seen
people put an image of their chef in the house. And you think,
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:59
			like, why are you doing that? It's got that same connotation, hasn't it? The pious person? I must
have an image of the pious person in front of me to be able to, I don't know, somehow feel pious or
become pirates. No, it? Yeah, it's actually diverting your attention away from Allah towards
somebody else.
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:07
			Don't do that. You don't need that. It's better to have an idea of Quran will have, you know,
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:14
			things that will remind you, of Allah Subhana Allah that I'm not other human beings.
		
00:40:16 --> 00:40:17
			It's better to have that.
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:24
			Now photographs are not the same. Okay? I don't believe photographs are the same as,
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:41
			as images that are made by hand, or drawn by hand, or shaped by hand, right? They're not the same,
because a photograph is like a mirror image of real life. And nobody is actually
		
00:40:42 --> 00:40:55
			shaping that and making that right. So photographs don't come under that same category. But of
course, it's difference of opinion regarding whether you can actually display photographs or not.
		
00:40:56 --> 00:41:05
			I would have would just avoid it. There's no need to display photographs. You know, keep them in a
in an album or something like that.
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:09
			Okay, let me see if there's any questions.
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:16
			Okay, yeah. So what about when children are told to draw images for schoolwork?
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:22
			So my, our policy in our family was that
		
00:41:23 --> 00:41:35
			just as the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam allowed children to have dolls, right? We know that
children had dolls and in his time, but they would have been quite crude, probably right?
		
00:41:36 --> 00:41:41
			Not like, very perfectly formed. Okay?
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:47
			Just as the Prophet sallallahu Sallam allowed children to have toys,
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:51
			while a child is young,
		
00:41:53 --> 00:42:13
			from my research, and the opinion that I follow is that it's okay for them to do drawings, right.
And it's okay for them to just allow them to explore and be free to a certain extent, right. But as
they start getting older, you want to make it clear to them that what the rules are, and for them to
stop, you know,
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:34
			again, books, for me that would be similar to similar to toys. You know, a children's book is
basically like a toy, if you think about it, they treat it like a toy, you know, something for their
entertainment for their i think it's it's fine, you know, while their children up to what age?
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:37
			I mean, look,
		
00:42:38 --> 00:42:54
			definitely, by the time they're adults, you want you want them to stop. But even if there's an image
in a book, okay, it doesn't mean you can't have the book, just cover the image, right? I mean, like,
you know, as they get older, when they have teen books, the front cover might have
		
00:42:55 --> 00:43:09
			some painting on it or some picture, you could just cover it, right? That's something it doesn't
mean, we're not going to have that book in the house. It just means cover it in some way. Right?
Change it or cover it.
		
00:43:10 --> 00:43:16
			Like I said, generally speaking, when it comes to kids, the rules are a bit relaxed. Okay, so
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:49
			let the rules be relaxed. But if it's not necessary, well, I mean, there's no point. putting things
on walls, really. I mean, it's okay, especially if you can encourage them to draw scenery, trees and
those types of things to put on walls, flowers, objects, and fine if it's people just avoid it, you
know, but if they really want to, I wouldn't really make a big fuss out of it. Because again, it's
like having toys right in the room. It's like that.
		
00:43:51 --> 00:43:52
			So I hope that's
		
00:43:54 --> 00:44:07
			helpful. I should have reported that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam entered the house while
there was a curtain with pictures on it. The color of his face changed. Then he grabbed the curtain
and had it torn into pieces.
		
00:44:09 --> 00:44:23
			The profits on our salon said, verily, among the most severely punished on the Day of Resurrection
are those who make such graven images. And you can see what happened to the Christians. Right? What
happened to the Christians?
		
00:44:25 --> 00:44:28
			Probably because of their legacy from the Romans, right?
		
00:44:30 --> 00:44:34
			And you know, the Romans, they were just obsessed with imagery, right?
		
00:44:35 --> 00:44:49
			paintings, imagery, all of that. Just look at the Sistine Chapel, right? Michelangelo's Sistine
Chapel and you see, there's literally a painting of God, an Adam and
		
00:44:51 --> 00:44:54
			Satan, and you know what I mean? It's like,
		
00:44:56 --> 00:44:59
			what's going on? You know, like, there's an old man with a long beard. And that's Scott.
		
00:45:01 --> 00:45:39
			And you can see what happened to the Christians. Right? They and again, even amongst the Christians
they had was because some Christians didn't agree with that, you know, they removed that they, they
were iconoclastic and they, they wanted to remove all of the imagery, because they saw it as a bid
our sir as a bidder in their in their theology. But then others were. No they wanted the imagery.
You can see what's happened saints, images of Mary Jesus, Jesus is a white man with blue eyes
apparently. Right?
		
00:45:41 --> 00:45:57
			So basically they just created God and Jesus and all of the people who they worship well they revere
in their own image. White people hate Subhan Allah and you must know that
		
00:45:58 --> 00:46:04
			the famous story of Malcolm X when you know when he confronted a Christian pastor
		
00:46:05 --> 00:46:19
			and said, You know why, why is Jesus? Why is he white? You know, you're getting us to worship a
white man you're basically getting us to worship a white man because you believe God is white.
		
00:46:21 --> 00:46:52
			And you know, he made a point that that was used as a way to get basically Africans right? Or
African people have Black Heritage to worship a white man right? And then what happens is is seared
into your mind that this is the ideal right? If you're literally worshipping a white man, who you
think is God will God son What does that do to your psychology? You know,
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:56
			anyway, inshallah I'm going to end with that one.
		
00:46:57 --> 00:46:59
			So next time
		
00:47:02 --> 00:47:30
			we'll carry on and then we'll also go on to this which is um, when somebody dies wailing you know,
wailing and what are the limits to that crying and wailing what is the port what is the difference?
We'll go into that because wailing and saying certain types of statements when somebody passes away
out of lamentation is a major sin
		
00:47:31 --> 00:47:41
			Yeah, okay, so this is the said this is asking about look, we've kids pillows in different do they
cases okay? Just avoid it
		
00:47:42 --> 00:47:47
			you know, I didn't I didn't used to like my children to have animals on their clothes. personally.
		
00:47:49 --> 00:47:57
			I just felt uncomfortable with that. Just avoid it. Why Why do you need to do that there's so many
clothes nowadays. All different types
		
00:47:58 --> 00:48:28
			all different types of themes. You know, if the entire football team you could do that you could
have that or you could have anything, you know, any other interests. So I think our role as parents,
isn't it, that we were always trying to steer them towards something positive, right? If they're
steered towards something negative or something that could end up being negative, you're just trying
to gently show them not shut them down, but to say, hey, look, look at this option is better.
		
00:48:30 --> 00:48:40
			And I'm just gonna end with one last funny story, which is when my kids were younger, so my husband
supports Liverpool right? football team.
		
00:48:41 --> 00:48:45
			And so so did I as a young person, I already cared that much to be honest.
		
00:48:46 --> 00:49:01
			And when my sons were younger, because I wanted to avoid them wearing a T shirt that said colesberg
on it right? Or that said standard charter which is like a I think it's an investment bank or some
kind of banking thing right?
		
00:49:03 --> 00:49:25
			When my son got into football, I bought him an arsenal t shirt. Okay, because the arsenal I think it
said it dad, right? I forgotten what it said. But see that that's how connected I am to football.
But whatever it said it was something decent, right? And so I felt good that Okay, my son is wearing
a football kit that has something decent return on it.
		
00:49:27 --> 00:49:29
			But unfortunately, the legacy of that has been
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:31
			in my family.
		
00:49:33 --> 00:49:59
			There are like four different Deaf football teams being supported. And my husband blames me until
today for his son's not supporting Liverpool. So anyway, I just thought I'd share that funny story
with you. Though I had a good intention. I wanted to avoid my I didn't like to see my flesh and
blood. You know, my pure children. wearing something that has that is a logo over
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:01
			Have you know like a
		
00:50:03 --> 00:50:11
			beer company or a bank or something right? And of course my husband agrees with that. But I think he
wishes that
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:16
			I hadn't put my kids in in another team's shirt.
		
00:50:18 --> 00:50:28
			does not come out here and says sisters with that I will leave you. So panic Allah home ob handig
eyeshadow Illa Illa Atlanta stuff we will go to blue lake. See you next time.