Faraz Rabbani – The Rawha #184 Guidance for SeekersCounsel & True Friendship
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3rd Islamic century in the year 243 after
the Hijra in Baghdad.
He's a contemporary of the likes of Ahmed,
ibn Hanbal, and others. He said he advised
that be of sincere concern for Allah and
his messenger and for the believers.
And,
consult in your affairs those who have awe
of Allah,
who have because
Allah most high says,
Allah is only held in reverence, in awe
amongst his servants by those who have knowledge.
The sign of knowledge is having awe of
Allah.
And the prophet, peace and blessings be upon
him, said religion is sincere concern.
Right? Sincere concern,
sincere counsel.
And we explained that last week. So he
builds on that today and he says,
Know well that the person who gives you
sincere counsel
is the one who loves
you.
As for the one who just says sweet
words to you,
like, literally who butters you
up, has cheated you.
Right?
Which and here
and this is an important thing. Right?
In this regard,
it's related from Hamdun al Qasr, one of
the great early Muslims, that he said that
your friend is not the one who says
who tells you what you like to hear.
Rather,
your friend is the one who tells you
what you need to hear.
Your friend is not the one who tells
you those things
that
please you.
Rather your friend is the one who tells
you the things that benefit you.
Even if they might be bitter.
So
lets say Zubayr finally is getting married.
So
final
event before
the nikah takes place, he goes and decides
to be adventurous.
So he found this
this Hawaiian
jacket. It's neither Hawaiian, not real nor really
a jacket.
And uncle Jameel,
father, is old school.
No
nonsense.
Except his nonsense, of course.
So
he
he's gonna show up. Now sees
him on the street, said,
Zubaydah, where are you going?
Says, oh, I'm going for to meet my
in laws because tomorrow's my wedding.
So now
as a sincere friend,
you tell him that, you know, let's switch
jackets because, you know, I don't think,
brother Jamil, because to, he'll just be brother
Jamil, not uncle Jamil,
won't approve of that.
Your your may be in threat.
That is.
Just say oh that looks great and he
gets in trouble with his father-in-law
and then nikah gets called off. That would
be cheating you.
But practically often
we make this mistake. We surround ourselves
with people who
we can get along with but they don't
benefit one. Right? And this is a wisdom
in life as well that you know they
say anyone in their own career if you
want to get ahead
have some people who are mentors to you
even professionally.
Some people
who won't just say great whatever they just
go along with the flow who you can
socialize with but someone who benefits you in
your career.
Right? People who get ahead, one of the
characteristics is they have people who they learned
from in their career. Same thing applies religiously
that they should be people
who whose company you keep and this is
one of the qualities of a true friend.
Right? There's many qualities of a true friend.
One of them is that one gives sincere
counsel, but of course this underlies that they
should you you you build relationships of trust.
Our relationships of friendship or family should be
deep
or the problems we have because we live
scattered lives that even for those who
you know visit their family weekly
it's a very cursory relationship we get together
we eat Biryani
and and and whatever
but we don't really know one another so
you can't really give someone deep advice
unless you have a strong relationship
why the Prophet SAW wasalam
he used to
pay careful attention to his brethren
like he knew
them really well.
He knew when someone was that's one of
the reasons he used to walk behind his
companions.
So pay attention who's sick, who looks down,
who looks to be in difficulty.
And he used to know which is why
in his gatherings, and we may be surprised
this is the Messenger
He spoke much less than his companions did
in his gatherings.
As we know from the hadith of Sayyidina
Zayd bin Thabit.
Some people after the time of the Prophet
they came
and this is in
the chapter on the character of the Prophet
in the Shamael.
They said,
And Zayd bin Thabit was
one of the Qur'an
and he was one of the scribes of
revelation
and he was a neighbor of the Prophet
So they said
tell us about the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam.
What could I possibly tell you?
I was his neighbor.
When revelation came down he used to call
us and we used to write the revelation.
But then if we gathered with him and
we were talking about worldly matters he would
participate in our worldly conversation.
And if we talked about food he talked
about food and if we talked about
our,
you know,
our profession, he would talk about our profession.
And if we talked about religion, he would
talk about religion.
Right?
And that's an important thing that we learn
even in our family gatherings. Right? This could
become religious doesn't mean that you talk about
religion.
Right? Because as you know, you know, the
value of religion follows the laws of supply
and demand. That the more of religious talk
follows the laws of supply and demand, said
one of the great scholars of our time.
The more religious talk there is,
the less
demand there is for it. Right. So one
has to be very selective.
So this is very important. Right. That that
know well that the one who gives you
sincere counsel
is the one who loves you
right and the one who just who butters
you up who just tells you what's pleasing
to you is cheating you and this relates
to
also whose advice do you seek when you
have to make the critical decisions in life.
Seek advice of people who will tell you
what you need, what will benefit you.
It says,
and someone wouldn't accept your advice. Is not
really a
friend. It's not really a friend. This is
a social pretense.
May Allah be well pleased when he said,
there's no good in people who who
who cannot give one another sincere advice, who
can't be real with one another.
And there's no good in people who don't
love
those who give them
sincere advice.
Right?
So this is a precious advice,
and then he gives
then he tells us that we'll see next
week the importance of
being true in every circumstance,
being true
in every circumstance
and in leaving
useless things.
Right? And we will and we'll we'll continue
from there.
We ask Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to be
of those who hear what benefits
and who follow it in the best and
most beneficial
of ways.
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