Faraz Rabbani – The Rawha #165 The Lowly Trait of Loving to Expose the Faults of ones Brothers and Friends Shaykh Muhammad
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You're listening to the RoHA, daily guidance for
seekers with Sheikh Rasra Behni.
So, Alhamdulillah, after, praising Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and sending salutations upon the prophet, sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam,
so this is a
daily reminder,
discussing the topic of,
the ailments or the
the, the ailments of the self and their
treatment,
work by Al Imam Abu Abdul Rahman al
Salami.
And we've reached the,
41st,
or,
the ailment of the heart,
and its treatment.
And he says here about Abdulhamid al Salami
and of its ailments,
is the is its love to
expose
the faults of its brothers,
and and and friends. For one to expose
the faults of their brothers and their friends.
So this blame worthy quality
of loving
to expose the the bad qualities of the
brothers and the friends is part of,
of ghiba, of,
backbiting.
And this is something that the lower self,
the the treacherous
lower self
may incline to.
And there's no doubt that this blameworthy quality
of the lower self,
even is even if it's within someone who's
outwardly,
looks like they are a student of knowledge
or someone that looks like outwardly they have
the the the looks of someone who's religious,
if it's there,
then it takes them into,
pitfalls,
and and it it exposes them
in front of people as someone who is,
treacherous
to,
backbite
their brothers
by saying their bad qualities.
So this blameworthy quality or this very lonely
and treacherous quality of backbiting and and loving
to expose,
the bad qualities of others,
this is obviously something that the
the people of intellect
and any person with a sound,
mind and heart will will deem as something
that is blameworthy and lowly.
And,
no one
likes for themselves,
to be exposed and have their bad qualities
be mentioned in front of others.
And this is someone this comes from someone
whose lower self has not been
purified and has not been disciplined, and so
that someone that has that quality of backbiting
and exposing others needs to be purified and
needs to be, have their their their lower
self
disciplined.
And everyone
should think about themselves before they do something
like that. Who is free of any
bad qualities?
We're not even talking about something that is
is major even if it's if it's minor,
the day to day,
dealings.
People fall into into,
mistakes all the time and may have some,
bad qualities or some,
defects,
here and there, and no one likes to
to
be exposed about that. So someone so someone
who who before they go and and expose
others and backbite others, they should think about
themselves or, you know, who if they like
it for themselves or not, and there's no
doubt that no one likes for their faults
to be exposed,
to others.
And so,
someone,
that has that,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala may,
enable them or or grace them with someone
that,
will come along their path and give them
advice and give them counsel
to stop,
backbiting others and stop exposing the the the
faults of others. So they should take that
counsel, and they should take that advice
and see it as a blessing, that it
is a reminder that they should stop that
wrongdoing.
And they should,
repent and turn to Allah,
seeking his forgiveness from,
that that bad quality.
And so in treating that blameworthy qual quality,
Imam Soleim, he says, and its cure is
that for someone to go back to themselves
and love for others what they love for
themselves,
Like what has been mentioned, what the prophet
says in in the hadith, in the narration,
that the Muslim does not is not pleased
or is not content for their brother,
with that that they are not content with
regarding themselves.
And so,
one looks and turns to themselves,
and there is no doubt that no one
likes to be to to have their faults
exposed.
So they should think about others that they
shouldn't do the same to others and that
they only,
be pleased and content to, with what,
regards others,
with that that they would be content with
for themselves.
And there is no doubt that when someone
exposes others, then that is going to, in
turn, come back to them
and that they themselves will be exposed.
The if they go and backbite others, then
someone will come and backbite them.
So Imam al Salami brings forth another narration
by the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, and
he says that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam said that whoever
covers up the faults of their brother, their
their their Muslim brother, then Allah
will cover up their faults.
And here the word that is brought forth
is and
is something that is that needs to be
covered. And so this could be literally or
figuratively. And so we know that the the
the literal or that that which is tangible
is for, for example, for men between their,
their navel and knees or even more private
than that, their their their front and back
private parts. And
figuratively,
it is the faults
of of of people that that needs to
be covered up. That's their their aura. And
so if someone covers up the aura of
their brother, then Allah
will cover up their their their faults and
their defects.
And,
and we know,
for for example,
that,
you know, people that we we come into
close encounter with, they have faults, and so
we shouldn't go around and expose
those faults to others. So, for example, someone
in their in their house when they're dealing
with their father, and their father, for example,
sometimes,
raises their their voice or gets
angered or annoyed or something like that. And
so the the the son shouldn't go out
and,
expose that to his friends and say, oh,
my father does such and such when when
he's, you know, when he gets upset and
raises his voice, because that is not something
that is becoming and that is something that
the father wouldn't like to be mentioned about
him in public. And so,
someone doesn't doesn't mention that, but they should
hold their father and mention their father with
respect and with with high regard.
Likewise, another example
is, in between the spouses,
the relations between spouses.
One shouldn't mention their,
their for example, their wives go out to
their friends and mention some of her,
bad qualities or some things that even that
happened between an intimacy between
the man and and the and the and
the woman or, like, the spouses between each
other. They shouldn't go out and and expose
that to their friends because that is one
of the the the the grave mistakes and
the grave faults and those things should be,
kept private. And there's a hadith by the
prophet
of someone who does that,
which the prophet,
he he makes them like or or describes
them like cattle that they go and they
they spend the night
with,
with their spouse or or with their with
the other, with other cattle and then they
go out and expose that to to others.
Meaning, putting it he's he's mentioning it in
in in a lowly,
state blameworthy state that this is unbecoming of
of a person. That one, things that happen
between spouses should be kept private. So,
we understand from that that generally speaking that
one doesn't expose the faults or the private
affairs,
that happen between them and the people around
them or the people at their household or
those that that they are,
close with.
So,
Sheikh Badib mentioned 2 narrations
regarding the the gravity
and the,
the the the extreme,
the the the the extreme
prohibition
of
saying or delving into the secrets that happened
between the spouses. And those two narrations,
just to to to paraphrase them, is,
are saying that on the day of judgment,
the one of the gravest things that one
will be taken into account for or one
of the greatest things that,
that is is, you know,
one goes,
and wrongs others with is that when,
the spouses,
they,
they say their secrets to each other, and
then one of them goes and exposes them
exposes that secrets publicly or to others.
And so from before he was in, I
didn't mention that, is that this matter is
one of the gravest matters and causes
divorce and causes familial problems and causes many
societal problems. So one shouldn't do that, and
there is a a very severe,
prohibition,
against
doing that. And,
and,
likewise,
when one,
is has a companionship with 1 of the
the the a teacher or a scholar,
that they,
deemed to be, you know, righteous or they
thought, they had a good opinion of. But
then something happened,
and and they separated
likewise. So in separation in marriage, like, when
the when there's a divorce or when separation
happens
between,
a student, for example, and and their teacher
or something like that, then one shouldn't go
out and expose the faults of others even
in that, matter. They should withhold.
So it's not because the the the 2
don't are not spouses anymore
or there's that relationship between a teacher and
a student is not there anymore that they
go out and they expose each other. And
especially with with regards to he mentions with
regards to students and teachers that they go
out on the social media, like on Facebook
and from, you know, put out messages on
WhatsApp that I've been wronged, and
this person,
you know, has has has,
wronged me and and
and exposed their faults and all of that,
one should withhold from that. 1 should depart
with, with goodness.
And,
and so so one shouldn't go out and
and expose others
like that even if there is a separation.
And one should be,
the one who is wronged, and this is
referring back to hadith, that one should be,
a servant of Allah who is wronged and
not a servant of Allah who is wronging
others
or who is tyrannical towards others.
So so one should just have patience if
they're wronged and not go out and just
expose the the faults of others.
And we take an example of that in
the prophet
The the the and and Sayda Aisha,
his his wife, may Allah be pleased with
her and and grant her peace, is that,
there was the incident of Al Iq
when,
people went out and and claimed false things
about Saydai'isha.
However, they were patient with it. They didn't
go out and expose the faults of others.
And then
when her father said,
when that
happened, someone that was involved in carrying out,
those,
those made up,
stories
and and and did some of the the
the the tail bearing,
when he learned that that this person it
was a person that Sayna Abu Qasiddiq used
to,
give of his money and and sponsor.
And so
once, he learned that he was involved in
this,
then in the in in those rumors, then
the,
then Sayna woke us at least stopped,
sponsoring him, stopped giving him of his money.
And so the verses,
were revealed to the prophet
about,
the, you know, the people that,
Allah
has has expanded and gave expansion and gave
money to,
that that, you know, that do do they,
Yeah. So so they they shouldn't stop from
giving those that they were that that were
in need that they were already giving money
to.
And and then the the verse ends by
saying, do you not love,
for Allah
to forgive you?
And so Sayyidina Abu Qasadik said that,
indeed we do, oh Allah, indeed we do.
And he took heed of that
verse that was revealed in particular regarding him
and and in general regarding others.
So so this was Allah
instilling those
noble characters and those manners and disciplining
the, the companions of the prophet
So should we not take heed and should
we not take a good example in that?
And and whenever if we're wronged that we,
doesn't mean that we go out and expose
the faults of others, but we deal with
it and separate in goodness and do not,
fall into those faults that are,
of qualities of the lower self. And so
the it's nothing but qualities of the, like,
blame worthy qualities of the lower self, and
one should take heed and one should, strive
to purify and rectify,
and and cure those,
ill qualities,
of one's lower self.
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