Faraz Rabbani – The Rawha #132 The Restful Self and the Reproachful Self
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You're listening to the Roja daily guidance for
seekers with Sheikh Farazrabani.
In our
Roha sessions, we are
looking
as of last class at
a work on the blame worthy traits of
the self and how to,
and how to treat these blame worthy traits.
And the intent of this
is
to seek the means of
rectifying hearts, of healing hearts
because
it is
the sound heart
that is
the most precious thing that you can possess
and it is what you present
on the day of resurrection.
And the text that we're looking at from
imam
Abdul Rahmah and Salami
deals with
the these blameworthy traits of the self.
Before he delves into the specific blameworthy traits,
he discusses what
the
types of self
are.
Right?
And he
summarizes it
as being
3 types of self.
Right?
So he says, know that the self is
of 3 types.
Right? There is
what
in the know well that this that the
self is one of 3 types.
The self is either the sinful self
or the reproachful self or the
restful self. The
Right?
And this is with respect to its blameworthy
qualities.
So the
is a self that commands towards
towards what is reproachable,
blameworthy.
The is a self that
if it does
sometimes call 1 to the blameworthy,
it reproaches itself.
And
the goal is to attain
the restful self,
And
he'll now tell us what each of these
are
and how to acquire
the traits of those who possess
these qualities.
So the first type
is
So he starts with the state of perfection.
The restful self.
So Imam al Sulami tells us
regarding the restful self.
The restful self
is the one that has attained
certitude.
The one that has attained certitude
regarding
its lord being Allah.
And it has retained
certitude
and rest regarding Allah's promise.
Right? It has found comfort
and satisfaction
and sufficiency regarding
Allah
promise.
Right?
Allah tells
us what is with you
in this fleeting life
will perish,
will become extinguished.
And what is with Allah
will remain.
Right? So it is
certain regarding
certain and at rest regarding Allah's
promise.
And it confirms
as true all that Allah
affirms
and has promised
of the realities of the hereafter.
1 party in heaven
and 1 party
in the
fire of *
of the
of the degrees of faith and of closeness,
etcetera.
So
the the restful self has an aspect that
relates
to iman.
Right? The restful self, what is the the
grounding of the restful self?
It's
iman.
It has
right? It has certitude.
It has it's at rest
in being completely sure of
the promise of Allah.
Truly the promise of Allah is true.
Let not this worldly life delude you.
Right?
And it has it's at rest and it
confirms as true all that Allah has promised.
How is this nurtured?
Nurtured by having a lifted living
connection
with the book
of
Allah
It's
the book of
it's a book that bequeaths
Yaqeen.
This is the book in which there is
no doubt.
Right?
It bequeaths
it. Right? Be being at rest with regarding
regards to the promise of Allah.
Gaining
complete
active confirmation of the divine promises.
So that's the rooting in faith.
That faith
of the restful self results in
this
a
certain state and a certain conduct. And what
is that state in conduct?
So having this certitude
and this
surety and this confirmation,
it
remains
patient and steadfast
with Allah's command.
Right?
So he says,
this is the truly believing
self.
Right? This is
the truly
believing self.
Right?
This is the one
that
Allah makes
its
face radiant.
On the day
when some faces will be made radiant.
And
other faces will be made
darkened,
bereft of light.
And this is the self whom Allah
will grant
its book of deeds in its right hand.
Right?
People will be given some people will be
given their
books in their right hand and others
in their left hand.
So therefore, it will be
well pleased
with Allah's decree and destiny.
Both its good and bad, both its pleasing
and displeasing.
Both its benefit
and its harm.
Right? It is content.
Right? This is one of the integrals of
faith. It has attained that contentment
with
Allah's decree.
And this is the self
to which
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
addresses
and says
return to your lord
well pleased and well pleasing.
Right?
And Imam al Sulami explains
well pleased meaning with Allah
and well pleasing
meaning
with Allah well pleased with it,
Allah being well pleased with such a self,
such a person,
be out due to their righteous
deeds.
And it's confirming
Allah
eternal promise.
Right. And
this
some of the have explained that this self
has four characteristics.
Right?
Right.
It attains closeness to Allah
It it attains
the divine pleasure.
Right?
It attains unto divine love
and it and it
attains the honor of beholding
Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
And this is what we strive towards.
Everyone
talks about
happiness,
but the happiness that we seek
is
true lasting happiness, which is contentment.
Right?
People seek
to be satisfied in this life, the satisfaction
that we seek
is Right?
Is to to that state of restfulness,
right, where we're not
shaken.
What is the root of that? The root
of that is certitude
manifest
in
in the state
of one who is patient
on the command of Allah.
Right?
And what does this self attain? It attains
closeness,
divine good pleasure,
love, and beholding the divine
amongst the many other.
And those, of course, have many manifestations beyond
imagination in the hereafter.
The critical thing, of course,
to reflect on is how does one attain
this? Right? How does one attain
a restful self?
Right? How does one attain
a restful
self?
Right?
And the Aleman tells us tell us that
there's 5 things to keep in mind. Right?
1st,
that
it's clear in the Quran
that a believer must have
a
purpose in life,
have a
hem in this life, have something that they
are
hoping for.
Right? Have a purpose in life,
which is
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So whoever
hopes for the meeting of their lord.
Let them do righteous deeds
to seek
salvation,
to seek
the stations
of the virtuous
of the people of success,
to seek the stations of the people of
closeness,
right, to have high purpose
in life regarding
the hereafter.
Right.
2nd is to work on oneself.
Right. Because what is
the barrier between you
and
Allah
it's yourself.
And what do we define as the self?
Right. They say
the lower self is
is the gathering place of blameworthy qualities.
Which is why the prophet said in the
hadith related by Imam Ahmed and others
or
The the one who strives is the one
who strives
in opposing their lower self
for the sake of Allah
mighty and majestic.
So
recognize
your those qualities
that hold you back from Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala and
change them.
Right. Work at changing them,
at sublimating them.
What does that require? That requires knowledge
and that requires
knowledge.
Seek knowledge,
both outward knowledge,
right,
of of the religion
and also knowledge of the heart.
Right? Knowledge of the heart of those qualities,
of those inward qualities that keep one from
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And
it requires
spiritual routines.
Right? Because what is it that nurtures
iman?
What is it that nurtures iman
that becomes
Yeah. It is
acts of obedience
that become consistent.
Right? That become consistent, spiritual routines. And this
is the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam with respect to actions.
Say the Aisha says
The actions of the prophet were
constant.
And dima is an amazing word because it
it it's one of the words in Arabic
for the for the rain that is
regular,
that you can rely on.
Which, of course, in the desert would be
a fleeting wish.
Right? But it's that regular
life giving rain that it it it will
always come.
Right?
Right?
Right. From the wam. Right. There was a
consistency.
She also relates the
messenger of Allah sallahu alaihi wa sallam, if
you did anything, he'd make it firm.
K?
And firm,
has
a sense of purposefulness,
but a sense of consistency,
right, and
and that he do it,
you know, in a
in in a way that
would would have lasting benefit. And that's some
of the meanings of tabbat.
To have spiritual routines because spiritual routines change
1.
And
the 5th thing that
mentioned to attain,
you know,
a restful self is good company.
Because the prophet said,
a person will be on the religion
or the religious way
of their close companions.
Let each of you look carefully as to
whose close company
they keep.
Oh, you who believe,
be mindful of Allah and be with those
who are true.
Right.
And be with those who are true.
Right. Meaning keep their company.
And it's they're keeping they're keeping
company of someone is of 2 types.
Right?
There is
a.
Right?
There there's to, you know, to keeping
that the the actual company of someone,
right, in person and that's absolutely required. The
human being needs actual company.
But there's
also
the Right? There's also
the
the intangible
company,
which is when you are with someone in
so far as
you you
you seek what they're seeking
and you strive to be as they are.
Right?
Right?
So be like them if you are not.
So,
imitate them if you're not like them.
For the imitation
of the people of success
is itself a success,
which which is not just like
look like them and be like them in
in their aspiration,
in their attitude,
in their
in their actions.
And that would include, for example, what you
read,
what you listen to,
right,
etcetera.
Because that's also that's an intangible company.
K?
You know, you can be gossiping
without being in the company of people gossiping
because you're listening to Internet gossip.
You could be mind you're not minding your
own business
by,
you know, following so and so sued, so
and so, and, oh, that's, you know, all
those kinds of things and it pollutes yourself.
That's poor company.
Right?
So these are some of the keys that
they mentioned. These keys, of course, will will
be manifest in treating
many of the specific,
lay worthy traits that we see as well.
The second type
of self, so the first was
the second is
The second type is
the reproachful
self.
And now we would imagine
that you
the reproachful self would be the one that
reproaches when you do something wrong.
But I am a Solemi
is a master of the spiritual path. He
says no. There's more to the reproachful self
than that.
The second type of self,
that reproaches both in good and in bad.
How?
Because there's no good that you do except
that you could have done
better.
With the bad it's obvious, you did something
bad you shouldn't have done it.
But if you do something you recognize that
you could have done it better.
But this self,
this is
your in between.
Right? You're in between in that this is
a believing self
that has aspirations,
has inclinations towards the good, but also in
inclined towards other things.
Right? This is the that for example, if
you're sitting in a
a class of tafsir.
You say, you know, I should have gone
to
to
eat a pita.
Right? So when you do the good, sometimes
it wishes it was doing something else.
Right? So it it has that this self
has inclinations towards the good
and towards the bad.
So when it does the bad, obviously, it
reproach itself for doing the bad because it
should have done the good. But when it
does the good, sometimes it realizes it could
have done better, but sometimes it reproach you.
Why are you doing this? Why? Because
the its
its lower self is still alive. So sometimes
the lower self subsets, what are you doing?
Right? Feed me.
Right? Or you're
attending an online class that's that's late at
night.
You're
like, why are you awake?
Or why are you doing this? I wanna
listen to
the audio book
of Lord of the Rings instead.
K? Or whatever. It it reproaches you
in in the good, either positively or negatively
and in the bad.
But being conflicted,
what what else happens?
It doesn't have
sufficient patience
with respect
to ease and distress.
It doesn't have sufficient patience
in pleasing things and in distress.
Now patience in distress is obvious
or would appear to be obvious.
In distress,
you should be patient
and it will pass.
But you need
patience in pleasing things as much as you
need patience in displeasing things.
Why?
What is because what is patience?
What is patience?
Patience
yeah. Patience is
to remain firm on what will be pleasing
to Allah.
So
patience
has an an inward reality
and an outward
manifestation.
The inward reality
is to
is a state of acceptance.
Right? And a state of acceptance
and
a resolve
to respond
right.
Right? So it said, patience
is accepting
what
what what is manifest
as being from Allah Subha Ta'ala, which is
why one of the definitions of patience is
what? Is
patience is leaving complaint.
Why?
Because patience begins with
acceptance
and resolve
to
respond in the manner that will be pleasing
to Allah. Which is why the operational definition
that frequently
give of patience is,
is to remain firm on the command of
Allah.
Its beginning is
which is why
in distressful moments,
what did the prophet say? What is patience?
Once the prophet
passed by
a woman who was
distressed
Right?
Meaning that true patience is at the first
blow.
Because there's true patience
which is which
is that you accept
you immediately accept
and you have
the resolve to be firm on what is
pleasing to Allah. This is
And then you have
and there's being patient
which is a
state. And there's making yourself be patient,
which is not at the first blow, it's
not when the thing hits you.
But
you find it difficult,
but you make yourself
be patient. This is called
making
yourself become patient,
which is
less than true patience.
So here he says that
this reproachful self
lacks patience.
Now patience in distressing
distressful things,
1 by having acceptance of it and number
2 being firm on what is pleasing to
Allah. But the same thing happens with good
deeds, with the good, with pleasing things.
It's harder to be patient with pleasing things.
Why?
What's the patience with pleasing things?
What is the patience with pleasing things?
Yeah. 1 is
well, gratitude. Well, that's
what arises from that. But again, patience with
pleasing things has two aspects.
1 is
to accept it as being from Allah.
Accept.
And number 2 to resolve,
right, to resolve,
to respond to it
in the manner that will be pleasing to
Allah.
Okay. So patience, like practically you can look
at it as having 2 two sides. There's
the acceptance
without complaint
and the resolve
to respond
in the way that will be pleasing to
Allah.
Right? So patience
has an aspect related to faith,
which is acceptance
without
complaint, without acceptance,
without objection.
That is
the that's a
and then there's
a and there's a and there's a patience
of submission
which is
the resolve
to respond in the way that will be
pleasing to Allah.
So patience is required in the good and
that's the more difficult patience.
Some of the sahaba would say
We are tested with tribulation
so we were and we were patient.
And we were
tested
with ease and we proved
impatient.
Right? Because in ease,
seeing the ease is being from Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala is more difficult.
Right? But then
in that state of ease
to to hold yourself,
to responding in the way that is pleasing
to Allah is more difficult.
Especially if
you have
you you don't have
the
the the restful self rooted
in certitude.
This is a very beautiful insight
of the author,
Imam al Salami. That the the the
the restful self does isn't it isn't patience
because patience arises from faith.
But
this
reproachful self regrets what has happened before
and it blames itself for it.
And often it'll say, if only I did
this
and if only I didn't do such and
such.
Right?
And here,
you know, the mentioned that one should reflect
on
the rep reproachful self. Right? Because
there are
different types of reproach.
There's a praiseworthy reproach
and a blameworthy reproach.
And it's very clear from the sunnah.
So
the negative reproach,
which is against the sunnah, is
just you're just putting yourself down,
saying I'm useless.
I'm no good.
And this kind of negative reproach is against
the sunnah and it doesn't produce change.
You can't do anything about it. If you're
no good then, okay, what are you gonna
do about it? You've already admitted defeat. Or
if you say
and part of another type of negative reproach
is to focus on what you did wrong
and and blaming yourself for doing it wrong.
With the prophet, as I said, open the
doors for the working of the devil.
That I'm useless. I shouldn't have,
you know,
you know, you're trying to get married to
Zubaydah, so you tell uncle Jamil, Michelle, uncle,
you're doing well. Michelle, you're looking really big.
And uncle Jamil is very sensitive about his
size.
And now you said it. It's been said.
Now negative approach is where you say, I'm
such a loser. I shouldn't have said that.
But you said it.
Right?
You know, and as Omar Khayyam said, the
moving finger writes and having writ moves on
nor sultan, prophet, saint, nor wit can lure
it back to cancel any word nor streams
of tears wash out a stroke of it.
It happened.
Negative reproach,
putting yourself down,
you know, self blame about what's already happened
is a bidan
and doesn't produce change. Positive reproach
is reproach
that focuses on change.
What do I need to change?
Right?
And how can I change it?
So let's say,
you know,
uncle Jamil, Zubaydah's
father,
you're trying to to make small talk with
him.
To hopefully,
finally ask if you can marry his daughter.
But you instead told him, you're looking really
good. You're look looking really big.
Positive reproach would be say,
I need to do something about that. What
do I need how do I change
his being upset?
So you learn a lesson that, okay, be
careful what you say, plan it out, etcetera.
But
and
sometimes positive reproach entails
finding out what's the right thing to do.
Right?
And this relates back to the 5 keys
that we talked about earlier.
This
reproachful self,
right,
this reproachful self,
he says,
This is
the sinful and blameworthy self.
And this is an important insight. Right? This
is an important insight.
That reproach alone is not enough.
So, well, when I mess up,
I
blame myself,
I repent, I do this. He said, this
is a sinful self.
Why?
Said because whether
there is no virtuous
self nor corrupt self except that it reproaches
itself.
But it's not the act of reproach that
matters.
But what you do with the reproach.
Right?
Because if if a self does good,
you know, inevitably say, if only I did
better.
Right? So that's the type of reproach.
When
and if it does bad, he says, I
wish I hadn't done that.
Right?
So this is an important
point that Imam al Salami says too.
That mere reproach does not absolve you of
the responsibility
to change how you are.
That the beneficial
reproach is the reproach that leads to change.
Right? That is the positive
reproach. Because otherwise, if you just reproach yourself
all your life, you say, well, at least
I'm trying.
Well,
you'll still,
you know, when the plug is pulled and
you die,
you still
you don't have
a mix of
toxic
states of heart
and sinful
qualities
that are
that you present
on the day of resurrection.
Right?
So that's why.
And this
is
the
self
Such a self will reproach itself
in the hereafter.
Because of what it fell short
in this life.
And this is the self that Allah has
sworn by in the Quran.
And there's a very intriguing oath and we'll
close with this.
And this can be read in 2 ways,
and I truly do
swear by the reproachful self
and the here
is for emphasis
or and I do not swear
by the reproachful self and that too is
a possibility.
And I swear by the reproachful self because
there's a type of reproach
that is a reproach that leads to change.
And Allah swears by that because that is
a self that is beloved to Allah.
Right? Which is the one who when they
recognize their shortcoming,
they genuinely turn to Allah. And they genuinely,
they seek Allah and they strive for change.
That is the reproach, that's a positive reproach
that
is beloved to Allah.
And there's this type of rich reproachful self,
say, well,
I repent.
I seek forgiveness.
Yeah. I have bad deeds, but, you know,
not
that bad.
Right?
Shouldn't have done that.
But then if you ask, will will will
you do it again? If you're honest with
us, yeah, I'm probably gonna do it again
tomorrow as well. Right?
You know? You wasted the whole weekend watching
World Cup games that you don't really care
about.
So
I shouldn't have done that.
Then next weekend, what will you do?
Repeat the same thing. Right? That kind of
reproach
has
produces no beneficial change. The person stays
in their
in their state of sin. The 3rd type
of
self
is
the truly corrupt self.
Right?
Which is
which is the self
that is ever commanding
to sin. This is the corrupted
self.
Right? We seek Allah's refuge from that. So
he's here, Imam al Salami tells us about
the self to seek.
Right?
And that's
a perfected self. But then that most believers
will be in the second category.
Right? And they'll have some good and some
sin,
but don't be satisfied
with merely feeling bad about sin. That's good,
but it's not it's not enough.
The reproach that matters is reproach that leads
to to change.
And next
session, we're going to look at
the the
the self that commands to sin
and its characteristics
and how
and what
caused those.
And then
thereafter, we'll begin by looking at the specific
blame worthy traits of the self
itself
and
how they're cured.
So
it's a it's a wonderful text
by and he points he gives these beautiful
subtle reminders that are good to
pause upon.
Right?
Like today we saw that patience is not
only patience in trials,
in difficulties.
We need patience with respect to the good.
Pointing to the reality of what patience is
and that's one of the important
insights. Also
about the nature of reproach and merely reproaching
yourself
is not
beneficial. Actually, some types of reproach are contrary
to to to prophetic teachings.
Rather, it is
positive
reproach that results in change in the future
that that is sought. Okay. And don't delude
yourself with mere reproach that doesn't change things
which is why
when he was asked, what is repentance?
He said, repentance is to leave sin
such that you would never return to it.
That is real repentance.
You could be sincere you could have sincere
repentance
which is that you generally have remorse and
you resolve not to leave the sin. If
you haven't left the sin,
you haven't really repented. Right? It was sincere,
you're hopeful that Allah will accept it but
you're still stuck where were you where you
are.
It's like they say use the example, if
you fall into
into mud.
Right?
If you
step out of the mud,
repent you wash yourself, maybe jump back in
the mud,
nothing's changed. You're just temporarily
clean.
Right? And you're still in danger.
Depends on when the plug is pulled on
you. When you're in the mud or you're
out of the mud. And it's a sort
of state of absurdity. A lot of of
us when we're stuck in a sin, we
ask Allah for protection,
we're jumping like we're jumping in
into the mud,
we jump out,
you know, take the insta shower that is
repentance. But what do we do next? Just
jump right back in. And so where?
And that's the
and that repentance, Allah is forgiving, he'll wipe
out what's before but you'll end up where
you are.
So the that's the difference between sincere repentance
and true repentance.
Which
is to leave the sin,
such that you never return to it. We
ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for that kind
of reproach and that kind of change.
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