Faraz Rabbani – The Rawha #124 Outward and Inward Respect and Etiquette True Spiritual Guides Traits of True Spirit
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You're listening to the Roha, daily guidance for
seekers with Sheikh
In our Roha sessions, we're continuing
to look
at Imam Ghazali's beginning of guide Imam Ghazali's
Ayyuh al Walad,
his counsels
to a dear student of his, a close
student
of his on
the
absolute
necessity
of acting on one's knowledge.
Because the purpose of
of knowledge is guidance.
And guidance
requires knowledge, but knowledge is not sufficient to
be guided.
Right?
The beginning of guidance is knowledge that is
acted upon.
The fruition of guidance is
knowledge that is acted upon
sincerely,
whereby one acquires
the praise worthy qualities
that constitute the reality of religion.
And one rids oneself of those qualities that
that go against
the realities of religion.
So that through
this
becoming guided,
right,
becoming a sincere servant of Allah, a pleasing
servant of Allah, one can attain the the
degrees of the perfection of religion,
which which is ihsan, spiritual excellence.
Right?
So
but this is,
you know, at one level, religion is easy.
And the prophet said,
truly this religion is ease.
But the prophet
also said,
that truly this religion is
deep.
So enter into it
gently,
gradually,
but it's deep.
The purpose of this religion
is,
to worship Allah as though you build him,
but it requires
steps.
To facilitate that journey, in the previous session
we saw, Imam Al Ghazali said, one needs
to one of the facilitative means
is to find
a true spiritual guide who is an inheritor
of
prophetic
guidance
of
the
of purification
of hearts, who himself
has acquired
the who himself has acted on knowledge,
acquired the play praiseworthy qualities,
rid themselves of blameworthy qualities
through following a true spiritual guide themselves,
thereby attaining the stations themselves
of righteousness and and closeness,
and who has been authorized
to teach others
this science.
Right? And if one finds such an accomplished
realized
scholar,
then
one one needs to respect them
outwardly and inwardly, that's where we reached.
So what is outward respect and what is
inward respect?
Imam Al Ghazali explains. Now, Ihtiram,
right, it's to give another
the is
to ex to to recognize
and to give another
the the
respect
that they have. Right? The,
the inviolability
that they have. Why?
Because
or respect
is
a subset
of,
right, of
considering something great.
Right?
Is to consider something great.
And what do we consider great?
We consider great that which Allah has deemed
to be great.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in
Surat Al Hajj,
Whoever venerates,
whoever considers great, the symbols of Allah. Truly
that is from
reverence,
mindfulness,
in hearts.
What has Allah considered great?
We consider Allah himself great,
and
the symbols
of this religion, which are those things
that point
towards
Allah
or that point towards
the path
to Allah.
So we consider great
the Quran,
the prophet
knowledge itself.
Right? We consider great the people of knowledge.
We consider
great the believers.
Why?
Because they have
they are Allah's creation. Right? Anything that has
an ascription to Allah, we respect them to
the extent
of that ascription.
So there's a broad tawheem of everything in
creation.
Some of the people,
Imam al Durkawi says, even a stone, we
have a certain level of tawheem,
of
respect for the stone. This is Allah's creation.
But there's degrees of connection to Allah.
Right? To the extent that these
created things,
to the extent that they express
the a connection with Allah that points to
Allah,
that call to Allah,
that guide to Allah, we have greater degrees
of respect for them. Out of respect for
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, this is in no
way,
you know,
respecting other than Allah, considering greater than Allah.
This
is out of
gratitude to Allah for the gift that he
has manifest
through these.
So how do we express that with one's
spiritual guide?
And what what's the significance of the spiritual
guide? This person
is guiding us to closest to Allah in
accordance with the guidance
of the messenger of Allah SWA. He is
the standard.
Anyone whose guidance
steps away from that guidance, we step away
from following their guidance.
Right? So this is a
respectful but conditioned
following.
It's a respectful,
differential but conditional following.
And that has to be clear. Right?
That this is not just blindly following someone
and acquiescing to, you know, granting too much
authority to someone blindly.
Right? From the outward respect is the wanna
dispute with them.
Because the whole point is that you you
have to give them enough respect so that
you
have enough trust of their religious judgment that
you'll follow them
in drawing closer to Allah. Number 2,
and one does not busy oneself with with
establishing
proofs with them regarding every issue. So they
say, right now you need to prioritize
recitation of Quran. They say, well,
but I read according to Sheikh
to Mullah so and so that the mureed
should be doing this. Okay? Then if you
know, then go ahead do it.
Even if one knows their error.
Their error meaning that this may not be
the best thing to do. It's not is
different from
that this is not the most proper thing.
The for example, if they say,
that
the the ideal
that,
for example,
the the, you know, ideally,
you should do
8 rakas of let's say ideally, you should
do 12 rakas of.
Now let's say that their Hanafi, you say
no. The the optimal, let's say, is 8.
There's a difference of what the optimal is.
See
but this this is an an error
with respect to what is optimal.
Right? Why? Because even though by the standard
or not,
8 may be
superior to 12 or whatever the case is,
but this error
in specifying what is superior,
firstly may have a cause,
and they may be training you,
they may this and that, and it's not
it's not an error that is a that
is in contradiction with the sunnah.
Right?
So they say that
in if you or sometimes they may be
testing your ability to follow.
They say, for example, in the Hanafi school,
it is in itself superior
after the fard.
One does the basic zikr, like, and then
one gets up and prays one sunnah.
So according to the standard of fiqh, it
may you know, they say no. We want
our students to sit and do their test
b I x in full.
And many scholars do that.
And you say, oh, this is wrong.
Because the fatwa position in the Hanafi school
is clear. Why are they doing this? For
particular reasons. The considerations
in that they want they're trying to spiritually
train the the murid
that
that you've just come out of the prayer,
you're focused,
sustaining the focus through making
there. Many of the scholars, not both in
the Arab world and in Indian, so one
of a lot of,
you know, I asked bunch of them
politely, privately, why they make
even though the optimal position of the Hanafi
school is to get up and do the
tasbiyaks after the sunnah.
So this is what's meant by if even
if one knows their mistake in terms of
what is optimal.
Maybe training. The the the cons considerations
of saluk. This is not when they tell
you something wrong. They say pray 4 rakahs
of Maghrib. Such a person is not worthy
of following anyways.
And one does not place
in their presence a sajada, a prayer carpet.
Meaning, don't relax
in front of them. Right? You have to
keep a certain distance of respect
to be able to benefit from your teacher.
Right?
Right? Because like they say, familiarity
breeds contempt.
And there's adab, which is why, you know,
we used to spend quite a bit of
time with Sheikh Hassan in Hindi in a
teacher student relationship. He was not my spiritual
guide for us, but once he commented
something that was very insightful, he said, even
if I treat you like my brother,
remember
what what what our relationship is.
And then even if they treat you like
you're the the you know,
you're their younger brother or whatever, they remain
your teacher. So you treat them accordingly.
And you keep
a risk you know, a a sufficient
distance so that you can sustain
your
respect
and deference for them.
So one doesn't just chill out in front
of them. Right?
So if one even except you know, so
one only puts out one's prayer carpet in
front of them for the Fard prayer. Otherwise,
you you pray privately.
This means that, you know, if you're because
a lot of students would stay with their
sheikh. Right? So don't try to impress your
sheikh.
Right? Also, they may be busy.
Right? So don't
do do all your Ibadah. They're they're waiting
for you to finish
so they can move on. Okay?
When you're done with the obligatory prayer, you
you take your.
One does not make too much
prayer in their presence.
This in the context where they're living together,
etcetera. Why? Because the
they they have things to do.
Once the prayer is done, you do you
you do the or the core, you know,
the
the emphasized, maybe even the recommended
as the
situation entails. And then the other things we
do privately, 1, out of sincerity.
The goal of the spiritual path is not
to impress the sheikh,
is not to please the sheikh, it's to
please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And number 2,
out of respect for their time.
And one does what the sheikh commands.
So one does what the sheikh commands of
works.
You know, if they tell you to adopt
certain routines, spiritual routines, etcetera.
Right? Or certain acts of service
to the extent of one's ability and capacity,
baqa,
capacity.
And
the
and the the precedent for this is the
sunnah, the prophet
there's some sahabah he told that never ask
anyone for anything. Even if your stick
falls while you're riding a camel,
pick it up yourself.
And this haba then commented, who narrate the
hadith, that we used to see this. You
know, there's a a few
a number of companions.
Even if they got on their camel and
something fell, they used to get off their
camel. And it's not easy
to sit a camel and get off, and
this is not a general rule. This was
their particular practice.
Right? And these are in some continents, for
example, some are called on these are their.
These are things that a sheikh
gives you to do to to to, you
know, to train you. Right?
It's also a test of following. Right? A
test of following.
For the spiritual path, they are,
you know, they they they are high,
lofty goals that one is aspiring towards.
So they may test you on something small
to see if you'll comply. Because if you
can't do small things, how can they do
big things?
In a different context, this applies to knowledge
as well. Sometimes,
you know, a,
you know, a teacher may give some small,
task.
But if one doesn't do the small things,
they'll never get to the big things.
They'll never get to the big things. They
may want to they may have goals for
you in terms of what progress they
hope you can make.
But if one isn't able to take step
1, then how will you you do the
10th step?
Right? So that this is part of that.
That's what what a lot of the people
refer to.
The the
the the capacity to follow. Right? They say
it's it's rare.
Right? It is rare.
As for inward respect, and this is true
respect.
Say the Muhammad al Bouzidi in
his,
it's a brilliant, brilliant work. He said,
simplifying,
there
that true
respect arises from 2 inward qualities,
which are
tawdimu al Mahaba.
It's
it's tawdim, considering
great,
right, it's deep, you know, it's veneration,
deep respect,
and love.
And the outward expressions of of that
are sound
and of consideration
when rooted
in respect and love.
Otherwise, as Imam Al Ghazalu tells, it it
could be nifaq.
And they're just empty words. Right? It's better
not to say
and just say, I'm sorry. I I disagree,
and just walk away.
You may have bad adab, but at least
you're sincere.
You're true.
It's worse
to have false adab
and to be untrue.
So Ammakhtiram al Balatin asked for inward respect,
It is that everything they hear and accept
from their spiritual guide outwardly,
they do not
negate it inwardly.
So what's this all about?
Right?
Not in actions and not in words.
And one of the keys to this,
practically,
is to have. You don't have to understand
everything.
Right? You don't have to understand everything. You
don't have to agree with everything.
Right? You don't like the fact that
your your your spiritual guide
says
that, you know,
suggest that you should be eating raisins in
the morning.
You don't have to you know, your opinion's
not really that relevant.
The least is you don't have to have
a you don't have to make a judgment
about it. You don't have to agree with
it.
It's better to just
say why is it this way? Don't ask
me. I just I just seek here. Right?
So
unless of unless it's fundamentally against the Sharia,
which in the first phase, you shouldn't be
following such a teacher anyways.
Right?
And in that, of course, we also have
to realize that the Sharia is not just
your school.
Right? A sheikh may have taken opinion from
another school
for particular
aims of spiritual
guidance.
And it's also a test, will you listen?
Right? So the sheikh may be handling, but
maybe suggest taking a shafeh position on something
and you listen because it that that's in
principle valid to follow. And different
she have different
criteria
in things like this.
So
is that anything that one accepts from them
outwardly, one should not deny
inwardly, not in actions and not in words.
Right?
And the simple thing is don't make unnecessary
judgments.
Right?
The sheikhs wearing sandals without socks in winter,
why is it your business?
Right? You don't have to have an opinion
about anything. What do you think? All of
you say, what do you think about the
sheikhs new turban?
Don't think about, like
you didn't take a fashion consultant.
You took a spiritual guide. Someone who will
help you
turn to Allah, draw closer to Allah, acquire
the virtues
that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam embodied
and called to, and to get rid of
the vices that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam was free of and warned us against.
So that one may
attain the degrees of closeness
and good pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
to the stations of beholding Allah, having muraq
above. That's what this path is about.
So what do you think about the sheikh's
new Juba?
You don't think about the sheikh's new Juba.
That's why Abu Madyan said,
Be vigilant of the sheikh in their states.
Right?
Not in these kinds of things. And these
things. Oh, what do you think of the
sheikh's new beard style?
You don't think about the sheikh's new beard
style.
Irrelevant.
Right?
Other things too. I disagree with the health
plan suggested by the Sheikh. Is the spiritual
path about health plans? No. If he said
to do it, do it because
you've committed to listen to this person. They
may be a secondary hicmanate.
Right?
So that's the that's the attitude. Because inward
is more important than outward
though both are needed.
The outward is easier, but the inward is
what's really sought.
Right?
Because if you outwardly accept it,
but inwardly,
you're condemning it,
lest you be characterized by hypocrisy.
Right?
Right. And what is hypocrisy?
This they define hypocrisy as being
Right? It is for the
inward
to go against the outward.
So outwardly one says,
I accept, but inwardly one denies.
Right? And there's
the hypocrisy of faith, where you say I
believe and inwardly you don't.
And there's the
and there's a of actions, where you said
I accept to do this, but you don't.
Or you do it in public, you don't
do it in private. There and nifaq is
a very dangerous
trait.
But if you cannot follow somebody,
you can't accept what they're what they're saying
and doing.
Then,
Imam Al Ghazali says, then one leaves their
company.
Until one's inward can accord to the outward.
Now the other part is
that
we have to be practical too. Do you
do every single thing
that the prophet
has told us
to
do? Do you reject what everything that you
don't do? No. Right? If we did that
applies to the prophet,
do we spend half the night in prayer
or more than than the as the prophet
did? No. But you say, well, I'm not
gonna I don't believe in tahajjud. I don't
know what where this sunnah here. No. You
don't do that.
Similarly,
the prophet said,
everything I commanded you,
everything I prohibited
you, leave completely.
Everything I have I call you to do,
do of it as much as you're able.
One applies that to the spiritual path too.
That you do the best you can.
And the things you can do, you accept
that I need to do it.
I know I should do it.
Ask Allah for facilitation,
but don't
don't deny
just because you're not able to do it.
And that's part of humility.
Yes. I know I should do it, but
I'm falling short. That's better
than say,
it's not. That that's that's an invariably,
that inward that refusal, initially inward, then becomes
outward is nafs.
And we call a nafsul abiyyah.
Right?
The refusing self, the stubborn self.
And part of
and one of the wisdoms of having a
spiritual guide is that you you're forced to
leave your
your inclination for another's inclination.
And that's one of the wisdoms of our
religion being a collective religion.
That when when we travel, we travel in
a group.
Right? And part of the wisdom of that
is it teaches us
to give up of our own to give
up our own whims.
Right? That the neglected sunnah that if one
travels, even if 2 people are traveling, they
should agree on 1 to be the emir,
1 to be the leader.
And they should they should consult,
but ultimately, they they make the final decision
and the other person defers.
And the test for the leader
is number 1, that they consult. Number 2,
that they
consider the best interest of the other party
as well. Unless, of course, there's manifest disinterest,
then the person says,
we gotta reconsider this partnership.
This you know, that's a separate case.
Right? But
this nafs and most people who stop following
a spiritual path or guide, it's one cause,
it it is the sovereign self.
The you're the sovereign sovereign or ultimately arrogant
self.
And what leads
to loss of respect
breeds
nifaq,
breeds hypocrisy,
and ultimately leads to 1 not following
a true spiritual guide
is bad company.
Right? Which is why Imam Al Ghazali says,
and one
carefully avoids
keeping the company
of a bad companion.
And
is to actively engage in something.
Right?
That to take as your regular companions.
Bad
company. This does not apply. You have family
to visit, relatives to visit, they may not
be religious, but one keeps that is a
purposeful company. This is the year, discretionary company.
So so that one
cuts off.
So I want distances the the
authority
of
human
and
jinn
shay alpin,
from
the
from the courtyard of one's heart.
Your heart is has is like an open
courtyard.
Right?
And inside,
there is
right? So your heart is like
a traditional home.
It has it has doors,
and it has a courtyard.
And inside, it has
a private room.
What's the private room?
That is where
you find
the one you love, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
But most of the time you're in the
courtyard
of
of your heart.
Right? Even if you don't let these people
in
to your private
your private rooms,
but who's in the courtyard will affect you.
Right? Because the bill the loved one won't
come out if there's bad company around. Right?
And
and
so that one purifies
the courtyard of
one's heart
from
the loath. What is loath?
Literally,
the the vileness,
but it means from the evil
of what shape on a of devilish
tendencies.
And what's devilish tendencies? Waywardness.
From the filth
of wayward
waywardness and heedlessness,
which is to be wayward, capricious,
heedless,
and disposed to sin.
And in all states, one chooses
poverty over wealth.
Right? Poverty,
of course, spiritual poverty is always chooses
that state and that conduct, expressive of neediness
to Allah over
any state of or conduct expressive
of not being in need of Allah's.
Right? And consider
the prophetic
state
in victory. He entered Medina. He entered Mecca
victorious
with his head bound on his mount,
such that his forehead was almost touching the
back of the animal.
That is
the humble.
That is the choosing states of neediness. It's
not choosing poverty
that you choose to be poor rather than
wealthy.
Right? But rather one chooses neediness,
inward neediness in whatever state one is in.
Whether
it is in it was not a matter
of the of the outward, but the inward.
Right?
Used to dress better than anyone
of his age.
Rich or poor,
scholar or common person. Right? He dressed better
than all of them.
And once this dervish
came in tattered clothing
to see Abu he heard about this man,
Abu Hasan al Shazili, this great great imam.
And he saw him dressed in these fine
clothes,
and he's looking at it like, what kind
of sheikh is this dressed like this?
So the sheikh
intuited what the man was thinking.
So he's he's saying that
the way you're dressed
said the way I'm dressed expresses to people
that I have no need for you,
that my only need is for Allah
The state in I'm in
expresses
gratitude to Allah
The state you're in,
you know, being dirty and disheveled and tattered,
is telling people I'm in need of you,
give to me. Your state is expressing neediness
to creation.
And lack of gratitude for what Allah has
blessed you with.
So that's what counts is the inward state
of neediness to Allah.
Neediness and gratitude.
And then
he continues
by defining some key terms, which are
very powerful,
and we'll just
look at 2 of them just very briefly.
He says,
and then know that
that
spirituality
has two qualities.
There's 2 essential qualities
of the spiritual path.
Uprightness
and being at rest
from people.
So who's a person of true spirituality?
We ask Allah
So whoever is upright,
Istikamah,
and define what Istikamah is,
and who makes good their character with people
and deals with them with helm, with forbearance,
such a person is a true Sufi, is
a true person of the spiritual path. Why?
Because that's
the prophetic state.
The spiritual
path is striving to acquire
the prophetic state of being pleasing
and beloved to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
It's uprightness
in
of state and action
and good character
in one's conduct and dealings.
And the key to that is hilm,
right, is forbearance.
And then he
explains what is.
He says, well,
Right?
Uprightness
is that one's
sacrifice one's
selfish
interest.
Right? Uprightness
is that one's sacrifice
one's
self interest,
the interest of oneself
for oneself.
Right? Meaning for the good of oneself.
Right? Being upright
is that one's sacrifice
one's selfish interest. Right? That's what is a
self?
The self,
the nafs is a quality within you that
inclines
towards
its desires.
So you sacrifice those,
you didn't describe
you sacrifice the interest of your lower self
out of
self interest. What is your interest? Your interest
is Allah's
pleasure. So this is one way
of describing it. Right?
Sayyidus Sharif Al Jurjani
described
istikama
as
is to be loyal is to loyally fulfill
all covenants.
And
holding fast to the straight path,
which is the upright path.
By guarding
the
the the moderate balance
in all matters. The praiseworthy moderate balance in
all matters
whether religious or worldly.
Right?
Other said
uprightness
is
is for the servant
to walk
on the path of slavehood, of.
By the guidance of the sacred law and
sound intellect.
Right?
Uprightness.
Right?
Abu Ali
said has 3 grades.
Seeking uprightness,
right,
has 3 stages.
The first is making upright, taqim.
Making upright,
which is
disciplining oneself,
meaning restraining
the wayward urges of one's lower self.
So this is making upright, Taqweem.
The second stage is Al Ikama,
being upright.
Which is
to purify
the heart, to to
refine
the heart
by acquiring the good character traits of character.
1st, if you have to restrain your wayward
self, leave sin,
Leave the blame worthy. Leave heedlessness. Leave.
Right? Then tahzib.
Who do tahzib?
Right? What's tahzib?
Tahzib,
refining
the heart. Acquiring good character.
You know, good qualities, getting rid of bad
qualities.
So making upright,
then being upright,
then the third level is
then uprightness.
Right? And because
in Arabic has a sense of seeking
and being realized
and attaining.
So so it says
so which is
making upright
then being upright
then uprightness,
which is attaining uprightness,
which
is taqrib al asroar
attainment
of
subtle
divine meanings.
Right? Because if you're
one is to make yourself
turn to Allah
by restraining,
turning away from Allah.
Then you are
active uprightness then to be actively turned to
Allah. And if you keep actively turned to
all turning to Allah, then what happens?
You
attain
the the realizations of closeness to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala.
As the prophet
described
in the hadith of ibn Abbas,
Be mindful of Allah,
he will be mindful of you. Take care
of Allah, he will take care of you.
Remain mindful of Allah,
you'll find him before you.
These are the subtle meanings of knowing Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
In the other narration,
Right? Remain,
you know, remain guarding Allah,
you'll find him in front of you. That's
attainment of closeness.
So these this is the I'll share
I'll share this
quote that I did
with you inshallah.
Then, imam Al Ghazali,
tells us about so that's uprightness That you
sack that you sacrifice
the interest of your lower self
for the sake of your true self interest.
And then he explains
what good character is with people,
and then he explained what is slave hood
to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And he gives a number of other
key concepts of spirituality.
Right?
Well, of true this and this is the
spirituality that that we're talking about. Spirituality is
not singing songs and
being fancy.
Spirituality
is sincerely
striving to walk on the footsteps of the
prophet
towards
the states of becoming beloved
to Allah, towards the states of closeness to
Allah, towards
beholding Allah
We ask Allah for realization.
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