Edris Khamissa – Personal Empowerment – Series 2 – Episode 1

			I greet you with the greetings of peace. I'm your host party my alley. In the first series brother
Idris camisa antidote Lacan dealt with moving from where you are to where you want to be. Due to the
tremendous popularity of that first series and the overwhelming requests for a series on human
relations. We offer you this inspiring presentation on the path to positive relationships with
yourself and with others. In this series, our presenters Idris camisa, Asadullah Khan, will be
focusing on the path to positive relationships. The topics to be discussed are one, getting in touch
with a real you to emotional wisdom, three, improving human relations for the friends you choose. It
		

			reads camisa is an international consultant in education, and Human Development. He began his career
as a teacher of English. His passion and expertise for the subject culminated in his nomination as
the chairman of the English Society of South Africa. He embraced the Muslim school movement in 1987,
and since then, has been a head teacher of three schools. He has conducted numerous workshops in
Australia, United States, Canada, England, Middle East, Nigeria, Lusaka and throughout South Africa.
He was one of the founding members of M South Africa. He is an advisory member of ibor International
Board of educational research and resources. He is the co author of the ibor manual for Muslim
		

			schools. His expertise is in staff development and curriculum design is creativity made him a
dynamic lecturer in didactics, and methodology at epsa International Peace University of South
Africa. He also conducts in service training for business corporations. As a parenting expert and a
marriage counselor. he conducts workshops on these topics. Youth Leadership is another area of his
focus. He is a regular guest on National and Community Radio stations. Chef sider Lacan has studied
law in South Africa, journalism through Britain and religious studies in Egypt. He co presented a
weekly wise living television program in the USA, from the streets of LA to the hearts of the world.
		

			He has presented papers at numerous international conferences in Malaysia, Belgium, Nigeria, Egypt,
USA, Iran, Botswana, Canada, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, Kuwait, Mexico and Turkey. He is the author of
dimensions of the Quran, and co translator of classical text, a pistol for the seekers of guidance.
stradella Khan has served as the lecturer for the Academy of Judeo Christian and Islamic Studies at
UCLA. Currently, he serves as director of empower development international as a motivational
speaker, addressing issues of personal empowerment, youth development, leadership training, art of
communication, and fostering interfaith interfaith understanding and cooperation.
		

			In this session, we will be dealing with getting in touch with a real you, we begin our journey with
a question, brother Idris. Why is there this renewed emphasis on the real you, Fatima? I'm glad you
asked me the question. It seems that there is also the Unreal you. Many of us have certain personas,
we have a public persona, a private persona, and every individual seems to extract a different
interpretation of you. When people die. They say he was such a wonderful person, but his experience
might be limited to the workplace. But his wife might say he was a dictator. Now the question is,
who are you? And you find like wh Auden, the pope spoke about a private persona and a public
		

			persona. And these are reasons why we have these mask as it were, why we manifest different
personalities, different people, except for those who are true to themselves are consistent, because
what you see is what you get, no matter who speaks to them, beat a streetsweeper the king or even
the wife or the children. They'll say the same thing. I recall asking a someone the other day. Tell
me about your father, he said is such a generous person. And I saw generosity in the public places
and also in areas
		

			As a required private, it also reminds me of Iago, one of the characters in Othello, who said, I am
not what I am. So what people see is not my real self. Often, we need to get to know ourselves to be
self aware, so that what we projecting is our real view. And once we understand the real you, what
happens is that you're able to elicit relationships, people can engage with you, because otherwise
people are really interacting with the superficial you in that way, they cannot get to know you,
your responses are often there to appease them, you are not the authentic self. For me, the
suggestion is, and I tell people, be the authentic self. So when people see you, when you smiling,
		

			because your heart is smiling, when you are laughing, you're laughing with yourself. When you are
agitated, you're you need to be agitated. In that way, people get to know the real you understand
you can support you and then you'll be able to also unleash your potential because people give you
advice that is appropriate to the real you. Very interesting brother Idris shahidullah. We know that
human beings are complex beings. So when we say getting to know yourself, what exactly are we
referring to? This is the Fatima we need to understand that human beings are multi dimensional
beings, at least we are by dimensional, physical and spiritual.
		

			And even in our physicality, there are different dimensions of physicality. Very often you refer to
ourselves as a physical or material body, but the manifest in Arabic is the discipline or the
button. And you find also the intellectual dimension of the self, which is the mind.
		

			And sometimes, of course, the heart, the way physical organ, but very often referred to as the
symbol of the spiritual dimension of the physical self, or the axes between the physical and the
metaphysical dimension of a person, or even the confluence of the spiritual tendencies, and the
physical perceptions In other words, discrimination, the seat of discrimination, and the seat of our
emotions and our understandings. We also have what we call a metaphysical dimension, spirit or the
soul, which is the essence of our existence, without which the physical body is rendered lifeless.
Then on top of that, we have within ourselves what we call the knifes or the individual self or the
		

			ego, the center of human tendencies of desires, and so on. So, human beings are a combination of
fundamental characteristics. We are biological with physical bodies, with particular appearances,
with specific aptitudes we are male or we are female, having weaknesses and strengths. We are
spiritual Chaco dimension, which is not physical, yet responds to the physical reality around us. We
have a mental dimension, we think, we analyze, we imagine, we are creative. We have an ethical
dimension through which we filter what we perceive through the prism of our beliefs and our
ideology.
		

			Then we are social by nature, in the tip, interdependent by design, the way independent persons, we
are interdependent by design, human beings are one of the few creatures of creation of the of the
Almighty, if left alone at birth, we will not survive. So we are independent in some way, but
interdependent by design, and finally, emotions. The essence of humanity often seems to be found in
our feelings, from caring, compassion, love and joy, through to fear, guilt, and hatred, anger. And
these feelings are primary sources of our sense of being alive. So we are indeed multi dimensional
selves, and his brother Idris mentions
		

			within ourselves, the different dimensions to ourselves, and on the outside how we reflect ourselves
to ourselves and to the world around us. When we have that as being consistent, then we display a
degree of character consistent if he's good with integrity, which is the aim of being a good real
you, we can already gather that they are indeed various dimensions to the self. So brother Idris,
what purpose does it serve to understand the manifestations of the self? I think it serves many
purposes. The one is, the whole idea is when you are interacting with the world around you, is first
for you to come to grips with your interior landscape. what goes on in your mind because this is
		

			what you project into the outside. I'm sure many of you have had this example. When you go to the
seaside when the waves are coming in and out when they're rocking. as it were. If you are happy, it
seems to be looting his musical is lyrical. But if you said it seems to be
		

			Like a lingering sadness, he reminds me of the poem by Matthew on the Dover beach, the lingering
sadness, there is a kind of sadness not only on the outside, but also in the inside. A very
important thing is this, that when we are really interacting with other people, we tend to be also
very judgmental. We tend to, for example, speculate, and what happens often our speculation is based
on assumptions is based on your own suspicion is based on your own insecurity. a psychologist once
mentioned that there are four types of people, a sensing being, a feeling, being a thinking being an
A doing being, the whole idea, you cannot always be doing being the means you always respond
		

			impulsively, or you do things or you cannot also be a person that is always thinking and
philosophizing or feeling or sensing things, the whole idea is how to get this balance. And this
balance is very, very critical. If you want to be, in a sense, live in harmony with people around
you, and also harmony within your mind. These are very important issues. Because one of the things
that worries many people also in today's society, that they look at a person's action, they see it
out of context, and they make a value judgment, they tend to seminars and pontificate about it. And
they have, they don't even know the person, they have no idea what was the motivating factor. But
		

			all in all in life, I think before we judge other people, hold on, sit back, and try to understand
the person, as someone said, is better to seek to understand before wanting to be understood, but I
have a variation to this. I said the other day is better to seek to understand before you respond.
What happens is a tendency for us to respond. And it's very important and imperative that we are
discussing the issues of the actual self and the perceived self. So, we understand that as human
beings, we are not uni dimensional, but we are multi dimensional, we are dealing with getting in
touch with the real You just said you know, what is the difference between the actual self and the
		

			perceived self? Excellent question flowing from what brother Idris said, the genuine you the actual
self is the genuine you your real identity. In other words, it answers the question, Who are you?
Now, when people ask you, who are you, normally we give our name, which can be changed, they give
the gender which also notice can be changed somewhat, your culture, which can be matched with a
mixture of other people, people intimately move from one place to another, your job, which can be
acquired or lost your status, it can be maintained, enhanced, or decreased. So neither none of these
neither your name, nor your gender, nor your culture, nor your job, nor your status really defines
		

			or answers the real question, Who are you? So in other words, all the answers we normally give
		

			are perceived answers of who we assume we ought to be or what we are supposed to be. So it's not
defined by your name, your gender, your culture, your job boys, that is, rather, the actual self is
a combination of all the characteristics that are unique to you. There are no two people who are
like, even identical twins may look identical, but everything else may be different. So the real you
is a composite of all your skills,
		

			which you may be aware of or not, which are latent, or maybe need to be developed all your talents,
your character, and your intelligence. Sometimes you don't utilize these to the fool, sometimes
partially, sometimes, we don't utilize some of them at all. So a combination of all of these is who
you really are. So who are you? It's a combination of all the characteristics that are unique to
you. The perceived self is your assigned self, who you are led to believe you are supposed to be for
example, in some societies, you're a woman, your job is in the kitchen. You grow up believing that
even if you have a degree of five degrees, you ultimately end up thinking that is what I'm supposed
		

			to do. In other words, it doesn't answer the question, but it responds to the general notion of who
you are not Who are you, but who you are, which is determined by external experiences, and the
personal truths that you have accepted over the years. I'm a woman, this is my job. I'm an old man,
this is my task. I'm a priest. I'm only supposed to do this.
		

			Or it is also fully of a socially predetermined role. You almost categorize into a box
		

			So you're you are limited by that, by that perceived role. So in this case, you are limited to
remain where you are, and end up developing only as far as you accept what others allow you to be.
So there's two difference, actual self, a combination of all your skills, of all the characteristics
that are unique to you, and perceive self, how you are limited to remain where you are, end up
living in a compound or in a box, developing only as far as you accept, as far as you accept. Others
allow you to be in dealing with getting in touch with the real, you will realize that there is a
difference between the actual self and the perceived self. But the Idris, they are external and
		

			internal factors that affect the course of any person's life. Could you elaborate on some of the
external factors that has a great impact on determining the course of life? I think there are many
factors. In life, we often say he was a product of his time, he was a product of the home product of
the home environment, they speak about his peers having an influence, let us explore some of these
external influences. The reason why we need to do this is so that we are able to reflect on what
motivates us what it is that drives us. What is it the thoughts of ambition or frustrates us, for
example, we look at these external factors, a critical one is when there are certain defining
		

			moments in your life. These moments are a result of experiences, and outside influences that shape
your life, and they contribute to this. Now, as I'm speaking to you, I'd like each of the listeners
to reflect on a defining moment, a life changing moment, it could be a tragedy at home. It could be
unrequited love. It could be a potted ambition in the workplace, how this defining moment, change
your life's philosophy, your outlook. And that's very important, because once we look at how we need
to re engineer ourselves, we need to deal with the past, we need to deal with issues that are
impacting us. But sometimes, this could be like a crucible, a real test on each individual. Now, for
		

			us defining moments or concern, they can also be positive defining moments. It could be for example,
your wife giving birth, how it brought the family together, these are defining moments, it could be
for example,
		

			a change
		

			going to another town. So these are defining moments. And often, these moments that said early on,
really contribute to our outlook. Just to add to what brother Idris is mentioning about the defining
moments. These are events and incidences. And as you mentioned, whether positive or negative, that
affect our consciousness in such a way that they have an impact that could transform our life. So
they are really defining moments. But very often people don't even reflect upon those, they don't
even realize or notice those. And part of that subtler is people recognizing that there have been
these moments. Some people feel that in their life, they didn't have those moments. But the way we
		

			look at things, the opinions we articulate, I result of these moments, some of them could be
traumatic, some of them could be uplifting and liberating. And it's important as we are saying in a
critical part of the CDs is on self reflection, is to understand who you are, look at yourself in
the mirror and tell yourself Yes, I can. I will, I need to recognize who am I, why I feel this way,
and what I need to do to change. The other very important thing is this, that often, we are at the
crossroads of our life. And we have to make decisions and critical decisions that are often major
factors in determining who you are, and who you have become. This really affects your life, it
		

			influences your life focus, and set you on a particular path. It could be, for example, a choice of
a life partner. It could be for example, making a decision about your own attitude towards another
individual. And these decisions that you make, you've got to accept responsibility for it, you got
to accept the brunt of it. Therefore, it is important that whenever decisions are made, you must
confront the reality seat in its complete context. So you make a more informed decision, not a
decision that is irrational, or impulsive. And yes, sometimes the decisions we make often wrong, but
the critical thing is this. No decisions
		

			Really inscribed in stone. It's important for us to be malleable to say, my gosh, I made a decision.
Yes, I made a mistake. But the critical thing is not to repeat the mistake. The other important
thing, you'd agree, it's about people who influence you, people who have left an indelible
impression in your life, there are some individuals who have almost like a halo effect. Everything
about them you love, they're so charismatic, everything that touches gold, you want to be like them,
and you assume that they are very happy individuals, but you have no idea. But they exude that
happiness, they exude that kind of confidence. And they also people who negatively influence you,
		

			who have a negative impact on your life. So it's important for us as individuals, that when you are
interacting with people, we need to root ourselves in reality, and also realize that we also have
the potential to do great things, that we must live in the shadows of other people. Yes, choose the
right kind of individuals, people that are positive influences, who inspire you to have a generosity
of spirit to be heroic, to be courageous to be a person of conviction, and also, more importantly,
to be a person that leaves an indelible impression in humanity at large.
		

			The other point that I need to mention one of the other external factors, of course, there are many
more, but for the purpose of discussion, we are focusing on these four very critical areas. It's
about principles to live by
		

			any individual, if you got to know someone, and when he dies, without him articulating his
principles, you would say, this man
		

			who we are bearing today,
		

			he was a person of integrity. He kept his promises. And you're able, for example, to relate
anecdotes, authenticating and validating what you are saying, he doesn't have to go out and
articulate those views, but through his conduct, even in his silences is an eloquent expression
about who he was. So it's important that we also have certain principles, because when you have
certain principles, it gives you a vision, it informs your behavior, it tells you how to relate to
people, more importantly, it makes a difference. And you understand that as human beings, we all
need to have integrity. Now the speak but others who have no principles, I find very hard to
		

			believe, perhaps they are such individuals in which they cannot be trusted. They have no principles,
they would smile at you and perhaps have another agenda. But sadly, some people also exist. So it's
important for us to enunciate wherever, like a kind of creed, like a credo in our home, see, my
beloved family, let's sit together and decide what principles we should live by. But the interest
has elaborated on the four fascinating external factors affecting the course of one's life. She
could you elaborate on some of the internal factors that affects one's life? Yeah, I think, at least
for the eloquent preference and expression of the defining moments in our life, the major life
		

			decisions, and of course, also the most influential people. The fourth one, you mentioned, the
principles to live by.
		

			These are the values that you circumscribing everyday living by, and this is an external factor
actually, shaping your life over which we have some control, all the other external factors,
defining moments, major life decisions, most influential people you are responding to something by
the principles that you live by external factors, but also that you have some control of choice of
that. External factors shape your life,
		

			the internal factors, you can say the way you react to the happenings or the realities of life,
		

			a person may not have much control over the external factors. But your internal factors allow you a
great degree of control over the way you respond to the events of life. So the internal factors are,
one, the way you see yourself. I am. I don't forget it's not name, the agenda is not job status.
What you say to yourself, about yourself, and about your place in the world, is the way you see
yourself as an internal factor. What do you say to yourself, about yourself and about your place in
the world? Number two, the way you think,
		

			the way you think these are long held, overland automotive responses. These are mind responses, with
or without real deliberation. People don't think or reflect, oh, I'm a girl. I'm somebody's daughter
is no no harm in describing but doesn't define who you are.
		

			And this is the process of assigning meaning to events affecting your life. This is the way you
think, how you assign meaning to things that happen in your life.
		

			Then the way you perceive yourself, how do you perceive yourself? Not only would you say about
yourself or do you really perceive yourself, the categorization of yourself by labels, which society
or cult culture imposed upon you, how you perceive yourself. Then the fourth one is the way you
conditioned yourself, internalizing of cultural or social labels, internalizing them, accepting
them, and eventually becoming defined by them. The first one is the way you react, the way you
assess what happens in your life, why it happens together with a pattern of your response to that
situation. So, there are three ways basically can react, one is accepting responsibility, a
		

			proactive and a positive response to life to the incidence of life, analyzing your inclinations,
your characteristics, your traits, your habits and your actions, ever aware of the universal law of
cause and effect. You can so yes and responsible or you can share responsibility for the events of
life. You know, is that my thing is that my fault, someone else will be blamed. You shunned
responsibility, or you can be fatalistic actively or passively placing culpability or blame.
		

			God is God's fault, God determined this now,
		

			the five internal factors I say, the way you see yourself, what you say to yourself about yourself,
the way you think,
		

			the way you perceive yourself, the way you condition yourself, and the way you react either by
accepting responsibility, shutting responsibility, or being fatalistic. These are the internal
factors, together with external abilities mentioned that determines how you see yourself and how you
are seen by the world in dealing with getting in touch with the real you, brother Idris Can you
elaborate on the five internal factors that you saw the love of speaking about? The first point
Sheikh Salah you refer to the way you see yourself? That's very important. For example, if you see
yourself as a person, that is a benefit to society, in that way, it is almost liberating, it makes
		

			you gregarious, it makes you part of the society as a whole. But if you have a negative self
perception, that is can be debilitating and will not allow you to do things you might cut yourself
off society and use almost like you excommunicated by your own free will. The way you think it as it
was one philosopher was said kognito ergo sum, I think therefore I am, it is your thinking makes it
what it is, as someone said, If you think you cannot, then you are right. If you think you can, then
you can. Now these are important things. For example, if by nature, you are a person that is
suspicious, you look at people that suspicion informs everything, the negativity, there also
		

			positive and negative thoughts people have where you perceive yourself, for example, you might
perceive yourself as a useless being. Right? This image could be something imposed on you. But you
may not be the useless person, but you accepted it. And because you accepted it, you become a
passive receptacle, you need to be actively engaged in your own life. The other one, the way you
condition yourself on the point you raise early on, you say well, I'm a young lady, I'm a woman, I
do not have place in society, I cannot participate in the life of humanity at large, I cannot leave
a legacy behind, I must confine myself to the four walls of my room. Now that kind of, as you
		

			indicated, putting a person in the box, what it does, it really frustrates and thoughts and
individual, but sadly, there are many people who accept the so kind of perhaps judgments people make
of others, and that can be very, very critical. Now, the other point, the fifth point is very, very
important. And you write about this, the one about accepting responsibility. Once you accept
responsibility, yes, you become proactive. You do not have a victim mentality. You realize that your
happiness is in your hand, that you are in charge of every attitude that you have. I recall the
other day, when I got up, I felt a bit tired. I was in the shower. I said to myself, I feel
		

			energized. I said it to myself. It was a constant kind of affirmation. I did. And I felt great that
day. If I said yes, I'm tired. Lack of sleep the whole day you complain about it. The other one is
when you shun responsibility. No one can take ownership of your life except yourself. It's
important. Life does not owe you a living. It's what you do with life. What you do with time, it's
about you and the other one being
		

			fatalistic, what can I do? I was born in this home, what can I say? blaming everyone else? What is
important for us
		

			to know yourself? know who you are, know why you have those attitudes. Know why you sit back, why
you do things in that way, it'll make a huge difference, and you'll be a far happier human being. In
dealing with getting in touch with a real you, we realize that both internal and external factors
affect the course of one's life. For the EDS, in your years of experience in empowering people
through teaching, counseling and seminars, was the issue of knowing the self or the question, Who
are you a dilemma that people dealt with on a regular basis? In fact, the question Who are you is
not as simple as one expects, as you rightly and beautifully elaborated satellite at the very
		

			beginning. Who are you? When I start off my seminars? The question I often ask people, people define
themselves by the fact I'm Mrs. So and So I said, but I never asked if you married, who are you? I'm
a doctor, I'd ask you what profession you belong to. So there are many kinds of questions people
ask. So when people realize that the answers are not what I'm looking for, they tend to be very
philosophical, that said, Well, I'm a human being said, Wow, what a profound observation, or one of
the best answers is a very important thing. If you can answer this question, then it makes a huge,
huge difference. The question is, as someone one of the best answers I've got anyway, in one of my
		

			seminars, when one person said, I am nothing but a servant of God. Now that informs everything you
do is a kind of vision. And I found that very liberating, very inspirational, in that way, is able
to reflect on day to day reality. It also reminds me of Harold Pinto, the writer theater of the
absurd. In one of his books, the birthday party, there was a character that walks in and he walks
out. And being a modern playwright that he was, he gives you no background about any of his
characters. So a lady asked him this question, who was the person that entered the room? Where is he
coming from? And where was he going to look at? His answer is the madam Who are you? Where have you
		

			come from? And where are you going to? These are very important metaphysical questions.
		

			Could we safely deduce that knowing the self is indeed a stepping stone to a meaningful life?
Indeed, you see, we need to reflect deeply as it is mentioned about introspection,
		

			we need to reflect deeply on the fact that each action has a purpose. Each life has a memory. And
each person has a unique story. As I always like to say,
		

			irrespective of how small reconsider our story to be, is part of a larger story.
		

			How does my life and how can I make my life contribute to the larger story of the world?
		

			You may play a role in your home, or in your street or in your society, which may be a small role
impacting on someone who could play a major role. And hence, you are instrumental in that major
activity.
		

			Is it to live a meaningful life, I think there are four things that we need to look at very clearly.
One is, we need to be inspired.
		

			What arouses the mind, what prompts the intellect, what evokes the emotions in the conscience, what
leads you to creativity and activity, you must find those things that can inspire you.
		

			You must be motivated.
		

			In other words, the reason you choose to do what you do, or decide whatever you decide,
		

			then you need to look at goals in your life. orientate your focus. This provides direction like a
roadmap. It helps you to your desired destination. And we need to prioritize our life. The most
inner circle is political and ethical dimension of ourselves, our immediate outer circle our family
and our home, then our livelihood circle, our financial career,
		

			our corporeal and body circle of physical health and physical well being, our mind and intellect,
which is the mental and educational dimension of ourselves, and the identity circle our sight in our
cultural involvement. So inspiration, motivation, prioritizing our goals, and our commitment to
build ourselves spiritually, ethically, intellectually and emotionally. And greatly living comes by
living intentionally, living purposefully living with what you call intentional living, purposeful
living for a meaningful life, and then also the gaining of self control. Take a close look at your
habits.
		

			Take a close look at the character traits you possess. Take a close look at the opinions you hold
and the attitudes you display.
		

			Take a close look at how you act
		

			The time that you have for time is the capital of life.
		

			Take a close look at your diet, you exercise, the key that you make for your general health and your
well being. And then of course, take control of your relationship with yourself, with your Creator
and with others. So, living intentionally, and gaining control of your habits, characters, opinions,
attitudes, your time, your exercise and diet and your relationship and then simplify life to not
complicate have a positive attitude which is a breeding attitude, and need to prioritize your life.
In other words, if you can hone this in to your own being embodied as part of your of your life,
that enhance who you really are, and finding who you really could be in understanding what a
		

			meaningful life is a chef mentioned inspiration, motivation and goals commitment and self control.
For the Idris What are your parting thoughts? For me, it is very disturbing. When you look around
you, we look at people, many of them have such tremendous potential to make a huge difference.
Firstly, in their own life, the seem to be so negative about who they are, they seem to have a
victim mentality is an opportunity to understand that all of us are indeed as we are saying products
of our environment, products of the people that we look up to products of our home, a whole range of
things, you cannot live day to day the same way. As you said, if you do the same things the same
		

			way, you must expect the same results. What it requires a paradigm shift. It requires making smart
decisions, having SMART goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and timeframe. In the
end, I like to believe all of us want to leave a legacy. We want to be people of significance,
rather than people of pure success. When people say this man made a huge difference. This man was
out there in the community, this individual made a huge difference to society at large. In fact,
this person was a tremendous inspiration. So in the concluding words of shake satola I think we owe
it to ourselves. Because in the end, we owe it not only to ourselves and to our family, because
		

			children mimic adult behavior. Surely you want to be an inspiration to your family. Brothers, a
doula in closing will realize that we have the duty of knowing ourselves and the responsibility of
choosing what is best in all our endeavors. Would you agree? Certainly, I think you use a very
pertinent words there. The idea of responsibility, and of choice.
		

			You see, part of our major responsibility is choosing what is best and doing what is best.
		

			So we should choose as a mental attitude. And as a means of engaging the world. choose not to lose,
you may win some you may not win some doesn't make you a loser. If you run the race and you fall
down, is not you don't lose because you fall down. You lose when you don't get up. So choose not to
lose. We are not perfect. We are creatures of the Divine, the divine is perfect. We are fallible
human beings, do the best we can with what we have, from where we are, we will stumble. But don't
have a mentality, that I am a loser. choose not to lose, choose not to be stuck. Sometimes you're so
stuck with the past, that we are we are defined by the past. Very often we drive forward looking in
		

			the rearview mirror, we cannot do that move forward. Looking forward, learning from the past, choose
a positive outlook. glass is half full, is half empty, but which half are you looking at? Focus on
the half full, because you can do something with it. The half empty can do nothing but complain
about it.
		

			Choose positive emotions, love, compassion. These are the defining emotions and part of the
characteristics of the great ones who have come throughout history. Choose positive thoughts because
your thoughts influence your attitude, your behavior, your was your action and your reactions.
Choose to apply what is best in anything is a choice. Even if you are limited. Malcolm X was
imprisoned. While he was a person who went into jail, a pumpkin hustler, illiterate. They put him in
the worst hellhole in America. And it comes out literate and the most articulate person America ever
produced. There was no excuse, which excuse do we have? In other words, choose to apply what is
		

			best, even if the circumstances are limited. What is the best I can do in that circumstance?
		

			Choose to be true you You are the only you that there is there is no other you but you. No one can
smile with your face, or cry with your tears, they can mimic your voice, but they can't sing with
your throat or, or sing with your voice. So choose to be true you and as it is mentioned, who you
really are, not what the perceived self, but the real self, then choose to do the right thing always
for the right reason. If you do the right thing for the right reason, then the chances of really
bring out the best in who you are, could come to the fore be what I say unique, why are you niQ
because you are the only you that there is and God made you special. We thank brother Idris camisa
		

			Angela Khan for an informative and motivating presentation on getting in touch with a real you.
Having responded to why the renewed emphasis on the real you understanding the dimensions of the
self differentiating between the real and the perceived self analyzing the internal and external
factors that affect you the dilemmas that people face in relation to their personal identity, as
well as the stepping stones to meaningful living. Thank you and peace be unto you