Ebrahim Bham – Protecting our Children from challenges

			What
		

			was the that was salam ala Mala via bada bada foldover leisure dinner shaytani R rajim Bismillahi
Rahmani Raheem.
		

			Ei your lady Robin oppo and pusaka Mwah Holy Quran surah Allah,
		

			media respected scholars, elders and brothers. We begin by placing Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala
sending salutations upon our beloved Maria Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
		

			Brothers, we are living in a world which has various challenges and among the challenges, the one
that we have the greatest fear about his death about our children, our young people, our youth, and
many times people do speak about this and we know what is happening in the world.
		

			And there is no doubt Firstly, to say that children are great joy, what is our life without our
children, but together with a joy, the very great responsibility, our beloved, maybe I can instill
Allahu alayhi wa sallam loved children and especially he loved his own children. And more
importantly, he loved his grandchildren. I was reading a book recently. And that book was about as
an assembler, the Allahu Taala animals was written by Ali Salovey. And in this book, it is said that
the time of Marwan the governor of Medina, one day he came to Abu Huraira the Allahu Turon, when he
said Abu Huraira Why do you show so much regard to Hassan, Hassan and Hussein when I'm the governor
		

			of Medina, so Abu Huraira really allowed and was relaxing. And he got up and he said, Marwan
		

			don't ever
		

			criticize me what we got to that. Let me tell you why I love Hassan and we'll say, he said one day
we were traveling in a journey. And Hassan Hassan and Hussein were crying. And wo Karim salsa went
into the temple of Fatima and said, Why are my grandchildren crying? And they said, she said, I
can't do anything about it because they are overwhelmed by thirst and there is no water.
		

			So you said Marwan Do you know what the Prophet of Allah did? He say he put Hassan and Hussein on
his lap, and he took out his tongue,
		

			and he told them to suck his tongue.
		

			Now Allah knows when it was a miracle that Allah Tala made water come from them, or was it only for
them to suck his tongue to be able to set the eight taters
		

			and he said because of that they kept quiet. This is how the reoccurring saucer dealt with
		

			one day a person came up to came to the vehicle Mr. Slim and he saw the vehicle you saw slum hugging
his grandchildren. And he said I got 10 children I never hugged them. And they'll be a cream Salah
when he was 11 said What must I do if and that Allah has taken mercy out of your heart.
		

			So my brothers, they are great joy. But together with that they are very great responsibility. And
today were the challenges of the age the responsibility is increased. We all know the challenges of
atheism, LGBTQ gender, and identity crisis. While I would like to believe I'm always an optimist, I
do believe that our children, our youth compared to children of other groups, and other faith groups
Alhamdulillah still better off and Hamdulillah we still find our children becoming offers. We still
see our children coming to the magic. We still see our children having love for the deen, we have
natural increases. But on the other hand, there are many who are still succumbing to some of the
		

			pressures. Some of them have doubts with regard to the religion. Sometimes they have these doubts
and they're unable to express it. And this results in an epidemic of confusion, split personality
arguments, and sometimes rebellions in the home. Now, how do we deal with one of these particular
type of situations? You know, the first thing I would like to tell people is that we need to step
into the role of active parenting.
		

			You know, many years back I saw a book in one of the book shops and I bought it in I found the title
to be very, very interesting. Parenting isn't for cowards, especially in today's type. Parenting
isn't for cowards, we can take a laid back approach, perhaps the way our parents did it 4050 years
ago, they used to say children must be seen and not heard. And they had a particular method where
the children used to know the places and they knew the limitations things are not like that. So
parenting isn't for cowards. We need to step into the role of active parenting. We all want our
children to become pious we want our children to be right. Yes, we want our children to be
		

			beneficial to us. We want them to be good in character good in conduct, but it's not going to happen
just easily is going to require a monumental
		

			It effort from our side to be able to bring them according to those particular ways that we want
them to be. And I think it's important that we understand that. So let me give you full a few points
with regard to, you know, how do we get our children to become pious? How do we get our children to
stay away from the fitness of age, to stay away from the challenges of the age? Firstly, I would
like to say something that many times we don't pay much attention to is the mere cream sauce Slim is
said in a hadith which appears in console or mirth. Respect your parents so the children your
children can respect you. Be chaste and morally upright in your wife's will be morally upright and
		

			chaste. There is always an aspect of the way you are the way you you saw that how you will read the
way you are that comes back to you, you show respect to your parents, your children will show
respect to you. If you don't show respect to your parents, it could very likely turn out the two
children who show respect. And there are many examples of that which Allah Allah has given. Whenever
I'm on zoo Romani in one of his books, right? He said, I want to know about a situation where in one
of the villages in India, someone was beating up his parents. But you see, the whole village came to
see what was happening, but the parent himself was saying nothing. So the people of the village also
		

			didn't say anything. And he came to a particular stage he came to a particular place and then the
parents said, Oh, my child enough don't beat me more anymore. It's the people of the village said
that why do you carry on even we give you made you made a beat you and you only came to this
particular place and then you told him stop.
		

			He said, I also beat my parents after this stage.
		

			I also hit him here on the stage, and I knew one day is going to happen to me. So then when I came
here, I said oh my oh my son enough stop. I want to beat beat my parents only after this and at this
particular stage with respect your parents and your children can respect you. You respect your
parents, your children will inshallah will become rightly as one of the first steps. The second
important point that we must understand is to understand the responsibility of parenting. Many times
we don't understand the responsibility of parenting. The BA crimson Allahu alayhi wa sallam said in
a hadith, when Allah Tala gives authority
		

			to a person with regard to something he Panatela gives you authority over your children or maybe
give you an authority as you know a politician or whatever, and you do not look and care for those
people who are under your authority, you will not even smell the fragrance of Gillette. So,
understand the responsibility of being a parent. Now, many times you and I we do understand the
responsibility of being a parent to the extent that we all know that we have to provide for the
financial needs and the material needs of our children. Everyone knows that we have to buy them
clothes, we have to put them in school we have to pay the school fees, each and everything of that
		

			we know but what about the spiritual need which is as if not more important? Allah Tala so
beautifully has made mention of this in the Holy Quran. And he has given us such a remarkable type
of understanding and understanding of our responsibility in this regard. We're Salah was started on
a lattice Alucard is ba na na. Kumar command your family to perform salat, and you also remain
steadfast upon it. We don't ask you for the risk, nothing will notice. We will provide for them
through you. We will use you to provide your children our children, but what
		

			you see to it that you tell them to perform salary. We don't ask you for the rest we will provide
for them. And now we'll use the parents to provide for them. But at the end of the day, we must keep
in mind that and now we'll use the parents to provide for the rest of the children. But as far as
spirituality is concerned, Allah Allah tells us definitively you command your children to perform
Salah and what is the greatest thing that we want with regard to our children to preserve the Iman
there is nothing greater for us than to preserve the demand of our children and my dear respected
brothers, we can never put a price we can never put a financial value with regard to Imam Imam is
		

			more valuable than any type of material value that there is any type of money. Allah Tala in the
Holy Quran has made mention of a very amazing incident I'm going to show you the Hydra Jacobo mode
will you present with the aquamarine salatu salam was on the throes and just about to die and you
know, leave this world I'm going to where you present and why does it matter? Allah uses this Allah
Tala uses this metaphor to bring the importance of the lesson Allah is about to give us the cuddly
bunny Mata Boon everybody. And he told unto his children who are you going to worship after me? And
sometimes I want to just to think about this mighty respectable others.
		

			In the nibio of Allah, as Dr. Coblenz said it was salam, whose father is heartily salat wa salam and
Nebby and Prophet of Allah, whose grandfather is the primary salat wa salam, a prophet of Almighty
Allah, who is unconvincing, smiling, so that was a prophet of Almighty Allah and amongst his
children, he says it Yusuf Alayhi Salatu was Salam is another view of Allah. And what is he telling?
And what is he asking his children? Who are you going to worship after me? You? And I would say,
Surely our children are not supposed to know who they're supposed to worship? Don't they read the
Kalama? Allah, Allah and Allah Muhammad?
		

			Why are you asking them such a question? But for him, the greatest concern was the amount of his
children.
		

			And then when they said not to do he now has
		

			his heart wider. Oh, my father, don't worry, you will worship the Lord of yours. And the Lord of our
forefathers, our illustrious forefathers, Ibrahim always, always hammer in
		

			the one Allah, we're not gonna We're mostly born and we will die as Muslims. You can imagine if that
was his greatest concern, when you heard that answer, what must be what Versafine satisfaction?
		

			Do we have the same concern with regard to the man of our children? Perhaps today, you know, they
see this humorous incident a person was on his deathbed and he said three children so you said
Mohammed, we are you Mohammed.
		

			Ibrahim, Ibrahim, where are you? But I didn't came? He smiled. Where are you starting? Okay. So
afterwards, he said, If all three of you are using the business,
		

			who is in the business we presented is our concern. So the first thing my restructure brothers
understand the importance of preserving the image of our children. The second important thing that I
would like to make mention of is communicate with our children. We need to communicate with our
children. Where do we learn this aspect with regard to communication? We learned it from Abu Dhabi
or the father of the Gambia, it was that was salam has that he brought him and he said that was
Salaam. Allah subhanho wa Taala has been mentioned with regard to it. And remember the time when
Ebro Himalayan Surat was salam
		

			Yagura year in the era of in Manam, a knee as Zuma that recall the time in the primary salat wa
salam Tula to Ismail for my son I'm seen in a dream that I am slaughtering you, tell me what is your
opinion
		

			and just look at the just look at the remarkable aspect of this. He's asking his son I've seen in a
dream I'm slaughtering you, he had no doubt with regard to carrying it out. But he made his son
Ismail part of the good deed he made he communicated with him he spoke to him about it. He told him
that I've seen the tree What is your opinion today we will perhaps think that too as opinion of our
children would be something that is against parents or authorities No it's not. He made him part of
the booty
		

			mentioned is made and of course we see the Quran that in this you know we see in the Quran Allah
Tala has made mentioned with color look man or lemony he and recall the time when he look man told
unto his son, yah, yah, whole ruku Oh, my son, oh, my son, oh, my son, do this, do this. With Mr.
Tell us. And this is in the historical books that he said. Initially, he was not obedient to Allah.
By Look, man, constantly speaking to him, he became obedient to communicate with your children,
speak to them about good, even if sometimes they might turn a blind eye, or at least maybe not a
blind eye or blind here, or they don't listen. But at least what it is speak to them. We need to be
		

			speaking to them. We make we give when a child is born, what we do, we read and we give the exam in
the year, they might not even understand it. But why do we do it? We do eat at the name of Allah
Tala, the greatness of Anakin, certainly in the arts. So in a similar manner, continue speaking to
your children communicate with them. We all know the pressures of you know, the what we call peer
pressure. Now, in this particular regard with peer pressure, you know, nowadays we sometimes make a
joke with regard to it. They say one of the spouses was, you know, they had an argument. So they had
an argument in the house, and one of the spouses decided, you know, that I'm going to give the other
		

			spouse silent treatment. I'm not going to speak to the other spouse for the whole week, thinking
that that would be a means of punishment. But you see how sometimes it happens. They they look at
things differently from what you are looking at it. So one spouse look at different from the other
spouse, and after a week, the other spouse said, it seems we getting along quite well nowadays.
		

			It seems to be getting along quite well nowadays. But now I'm seeing communicate, we heard about the
aspect of peer pressure. What is peer pressure? Peer pressure is society's pressure, the pressure of
the friends, for you to become part of the group to do what is trendy, even if it is wrong.
		

			And just remember peer pressure is not only something that is upon our youngsters.
		

			One remarkable incident about peer pressure will give you and it was about someone who was mature.
Not only mature elderly in age when the Vietnamese Arsalan came to his uncle Abu Talib. Oh, my uncle
say one time, the Kalama Allah, Allah is Allah in my ear, I will intercede on your behalf on the day
of gamma. And I will tell Allah, my uncle who supported me, despite the fact that he wasn't a
Muslim, but he supported me against the oppression of the operation. He didn't allow them to, you
know, to oppress me to for whatever reason, maybe on the basis of family, maybe on the basis of
tribe. He didn't allow them to pro oppress him. He was with me. Now he's on his deathbed. And, oh,
		

			my uncle say one time they can remind me here, even if you don't have to say it loud, say it one
time.
		

			And I will intercede with you on the Day of gamma. Did my uncle read the Kalama before he passed
away? And Abuja he was saying, Abuja had told him, tell him for the fear of your nephews, Jahannam
Are you going to leave the religion of your forefathers?
		

			I will tell you for the fear of your nephews, Jahannam Are you going to leave the religion of your
forefathers, and I will tell you, it didn't take the
		

			pressure from his peers at an age when he was so elderly in age matured, someone who did so much. So
peer pressure, if it can impact upon someone, can you imagine the impact it can have upon our
children. Don't underestimate peer pressure. And one of the things I always tell people don't
underestimate the challenges our children are going through
		

			you and I we lived perhaps in a time, which was perhaps much more innocent than what we are in
today, they are living in an age where the press of a button the worst type of immortality, they can
access without even you knowing anything about it as a parent.
		

			So, understand the challenges of the age understand what they are going through. And someone has
beautifully said that you know, if you got you know, 10 digits in a mobile phone number and you send
him some money 083 So, so so so and you must one number out, you will never get through to the
person whom you are trying to get through. In a similar manner with our children understand the
pressures they're going to understand the pressures. We lived in an age sometimes perhaps they be at
that particular time. You know,
		

			the parents had a you know, very they had a very high bar with regard to the children. We need to
understand the pressures. We need to understand where they are going through some of the fitness
they are going through some of the temptations they are going through. I was in Uzbekistan, when
when was the last time someone told us nearby here is a couple of buyers it was Tommy. And one
incident of biofuel Buscemi Rahmatullah. They came to mind. By us it was Tommy's father passed away
when he was young. The mother sent him to one study. So one day he ended, but three times when he
came back to come and visit, his mother knocked at the door. And the mother said, Who is it?
		

			And he said, by his hip,
		

			and she was alone, she was a woman staying alone. And she said, which buys it? I don't know anybody.
I see.
		

			The buyers here. I know, I sent him to go and study and I told him not to come back until he
completed his studies.
		

			By us, it got the message he went away. Which parent today's take and do that. Which parent can do
that? Maybe perhaps we need to lower the bar, but we need to understand the pressures down. And one
of the things that I always tell people, my dear respect for others, give your children confidence.
Give them love. Those children who've got confidence, those children who got love those children who
got kindness from the parents, they will be better suited to be able to face the temptation of peer
pressure. Those who don't have confidence. Those who don't get love from the parents, those who
don't get kindness from the parents.
		

			show tremendous amount of love. I give you the example of our beloved baby a cream sauce them giving
love to his grandchildren. Shoulder love to your children for 30 Min. Allah He lives. It is a mercy
of Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala that the prophet of Almighty Allah was tiny. And because of the
kindness the people loved him, the people flocked around him. If you are harsh, then subsuming holy
people don't come around you. If you are tied to your children, they would love you, they will come
closer to you. I'm not saying they mustn't be discipline, but show them kindness.
		

			Children, even if they give an impression of being independent, they crave for affirmation and
validation and love.
		

			Don't you see many times you will find it in a family gathering. You got children and all of a
sudden one of the children will throw a tantrum.
		

			And why will he
		

			You don't have a tantrum. And the amount of children who are out in the cousins are all there in the
child will throw a tantrum.
		

			child psychologists tell us that the child sometimes would like to be noticed, even as a naughty
child, even as someone who is Throwing tantrum, then to be ignored as a good child.
		

			If it was sitting silently, no one would have taken account of him. So he's sitting amongst his
cousins, no one is paying attention to him. His parents are not showing attentive, paying attention
to him, throws a tantrum. Now, because of the tantrum, everyone is now turning towards him. A child
needs the type of loving affirmation and validation. Sometimes he needs to generate validation. Even
if he has to throw a tantrum. Don't ever let it be that the child must get
		

			outside the house, from someone who will mislead him. Someone who out of will give him the love that
he is craving for it is deprived from at home. And then he must get it from someone who must lead
him.
		

			And sometimes that must leaving can take various forms, it can take the form of
		

			opposite gender, and sometimes it can take the form of the same gender. So don't ever let it be that
the child is deprived of love. So this is something that we all have to keep in mind. Children need
constant love and affirmation, even if they're doing wrong.
		

			You can show and say this, what you are doing is wrong, but you don't ever keep them away. You never
rebuke, and you never rebel and keep them away completely. See the Upper Peninsula to Salem, New his
children, they were the cause of the disappearance of Yusuf Alayhi Salatu, salam,
		

			for several Angeline What did he say, I know somebody is better. Well, Allah will who will stand
Allah will help. But even after that he didn't take them out of his house, he kept a look with him.
		

			He kept with them.
		

			And then after 40 years, they were to go in and make mentioned with regard to the fact that they
were they were behind the disappearance of Lucifer in Saratoga. So we never ever, even if we show
that we know that they are wrong, we will tell them they're wrong, but we will keep the Toluca will
keep the communication open with them. And there are various parenting styles in this short period
of time, I don't have the time to be able to discuss all of them. There are different parenting
styles, you know, so many times you and I may be the people who are elderly, we might think that the
authoritarian way, my way or the highway, we say, children must listen to us. You know, we think
		

			that that is the best might not necessarily be the best. If parents are authoritarian, the child
becomes fearful of making mistakes, starts lying for the fear of being punished, feels insecure. And
then he does things that are wrong behind the parents back. And many times the way they said that
the last people to know about what the parent or child is doing is the parents. So that is not
perhaps the best way, some of the ways that we could perhaps consider is the right balance between
nurturing and setting limits. You know, it is frightening for a child to grow up without limits. And
no one will ever recommend that. And we don't ever recommend that a child must ever grow up without
		

			limits. Children are like budding plants, the way you nurture budding budding plants. That's a way
you nurture children.
		

			And you keep them away from the elements, you still try and keep them away from the challenges you
speak to them about the challenges to speak to them, you communicate. So you set limits, and perhaps
within that limits, now's the time you like to negotiate with your children, okay, you want to do
this, this is the limit with regard to it within this limit to allow you to do something, but you
have to show me that you are, you are going to show me that I have the trust I've given you that you
will fulfill the trust that I'm giving you. Sometimes you have to set limits, and you know, nurture
them, and give them limits and let them allow them to work within that limit and oversee those
		

			limits. But this is just one of the examples that I've given you. And one of the examples that we
have to give with regard to this is be a good role model. I can't overemphasize this aspect, be a
good role model to your children. There was a survey done recently in the United States of America,
you know, who do Who would you like to be your role model?
		

			In a you know, in a society like that, which we would regard not to be right, yes. 81% of the
respondents said we want our parents to be our role model.
		

			You know, don't ever make your children you know, be disappointed with you in terms of your moral
conduct. Be a good role model to your children they look after, and they look upon the children. Of
course in the short time we can speak about everything with regard to parenting I've just giving you
a few tips. And Natalia in the Holy Quran has made mention of a very amazing and a very, you know,
important I attend verse yeah literacies Yeah, you already know Harmon, who and full circle
		

			On all you who believe save yourself and your family members from the fire of
		

			Allah sometimes going to look at this if they think yeah Allah, save your children from the fire of
Jana.
		

			The fuel of that fire is
		

			stones, rocks and human beings, that fire of jaaneman will become even more fierce by more human
beings thrown into it and rocks thrown into it. Now, this give you a hypothetical example. It may
never ever happen to anyone.
		

			One day you come home and you see that in your particular neighborhood is a fire is a fire raging?
And you say no, it must be someone there maybe the fell fire. Maybe it is the trash that has been
thrown in this fire there. And then you come near you seems quite close to your home. Now you're
starting to get worried. When you come here, you see react to your home, and you're worried you got
three children and you've got your wife and you come there and you're wondering what's going to
happen to my channel when you come close? The police stop you say no, this is my house, they allow
you to go through you go through if you see your two children on the pavements, they are safe, you
		

			see your wife and you see the third child
		

			and you see your child somewhere in the house. We want to do to decide what will you do? You will
put all you will put your life at risk to be able to save your child I know I will do that we will
do
		

			it irrespective whether this hypothetical example we are literally never ever, ever let it happen to
anyone. But in that same urgency required
		

			to bring up our children in such a manner
		

			that they don't become those that go to jail.
		

			Go and
		

			save yourself and your family members from Jana. That is our responsibility as parents in our
responsibilities of community. May Allah give us a trophy for fulfilling that responsibility.