Ebrahim Bham – Lessons from the Marital life of Prophet SAW
AI: Summary ©
The holy Bible is a powerful source of guidance for all people, including those with a different name. The importance of the holy Bible is discussed, including the holy School of All-Mighty All-ighty-ighty- Any-elf and the Marital Life of Prognostication. The transcript describes various aspects of the couple's life, including their spouse's behavior, care for their spouse, and support during the marriage. The holy Bible is a powerful source of guidance for all people, including those with a different name.
AI: Summary ©
As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh, al
-ḥamdu liLlāh, al-ḥamdu liLlāhi wa ahdah, wa
ṣ-ṣalātu wa s-salāmu ʿalá man lā
nabiyyah ba'dah, ammā ba'du fawdu biLlāhi mina sh
-shayṭāni r-rajīm, bismiLlāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm,
laqad kāna lakum fī rasūliLlāhi ʿuswatun ḥasanah, sadaqallāhu
l-'azīm.
Respected ulama, elders, brothers, mothers and sisters, it
is traditional that we begin every endeavor of
ours with the name of All-Mighty Allāh
ﷻ.
And therefore we say, we acknowledge and we
start off with bismiLlāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm,
in the name of All-Mighty Allāh ﷻ,
the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Nabiye Kareem ﷺ had said, kullu amrin dhi
balin lam yabda bi-ismiLlāhi fahuwa abtar.
Any endeavor which is carried out without taking
the name of All-Mighty Allāh ﷻ, it
is devoid of blessings.
So we should start off everything that we
do with the name of All-Mighty Allāh
ﷻ.
Then we send salutation upon our greatest benefactor,
our beloved Nabiye Kareem ﷺ.
Alhamdulillah, it was so pleasing to hear the
tilawat of the Holy Qur'an from the
youngsters and Hafiz Hanif.
Certain families are known for the tilawat of
the Holy Qur'an and their love for
the Qur'an.
And the Haturani family is amongst those.
And everyone from the family by and large,
alhamdulillah, are known for their beautiful recitation.
Allahumma zid fazid.
We're still waiting for the tilawat of Kareem
Muhammad Rafiq Haturani, inshaAllah.
Normally, Mukhtar is here today getting married, so
normally we're giving him a little bit of
a break.
In the previous times, they used to ask
the person, the groom, to read all the
five kalimahs.
So we should have started with kalimah of
the kufr.
We should have started with that one.
Maybe because it would have been a greater
examination, it would have perhaps clarified also certain
things.
So anyway, I recited an ayat of the
Holy Qur'an in front of you, and
I will just link it to the occasion.
So Allah Ta'ala in the Holy Qur
'an says that, in the Prophet of Almighty
Allah, you have the best example in every
matter.
laqad kana lakum fee rasoolillah In the Prophet
of Almighty Allah, you have the perfect example.
So the perfect example in everything, even in
marital life.
And today I just want to speak about
the lessons we learn from the marital life
of our beloved Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam.
And when Allah Ta'ala said uswaya hasana,
you know, it's very amazing.
That is why Allah Ta'ala put our
beloved Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam through
various situations.
See, the Nabi of Allah, one would have
thought that every battle that he fought, he
would have gained victory.
But there were setbacks in the battles of
our beloved Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
And there were also sad moments in the
life of our beloved Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam.
Ulema have written that perhaps one of the
reasons is if there was only victory, then
if the ummah thereafter had to suffer a
setback, how would they cope with the setback?
But Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also went
through the setback.
So if you look at the battle of
Uhud, he went through a setback, the whole
second quarter of Potsapara, the whole second quarter,
is only giving Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam and the Sahaba solace and comfort after
the setback of the battle of Uhud.
Why did all this happen?
Because his life was supposed to be an
example for all people, for all circumstances till
the day of Qiyamah.
So if there was only victory, then how
would there have been an example if there
was a setback?
And then Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
sometimes was a teacher to the Ashab-e
-Suffah.
Sometimes he was a student at the feet
of Hazrat Jibreel alayhi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
as Hadith-e-Jibreel and many other occasions
happened.
So Allah Ta'ala put Nabiya Kareem sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam through difficult and different circumstances.
Not difficult, but different circumstances.
So his life can be an example.
And similarly, with regard to his marriages.
So few examples from the marital life of
Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Firstly, what we learn is to deal with
your spouse according to her temperament.
We learn this from Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam.
We said, how do we learn from this?
So when Ummah Salma radiallahu ta'ala, when
her husband Abu Salma radiallahu ta'ala passed
away.
So Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came
to her.
Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam consoled her.
And Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave her
a dua to read.
That if you read this, Allah will reward
you in your grief.
And Allah will give you something better.
وَخْلُفْ لِي خَيْرَ مِّنَا Give me something better.
And you say, I always thought Abu Salma
was such a beautiful husband.
Where will I get someone better?
Until Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam proposed.
But when Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam proposed,
it was an amazing thing.
When Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam proposed, one
of the reasons she said, Ya Rasulullah, I
want to accept.
Who wouldn't want to accept?
But I got certain apprehensions.
So she made mention of apprehensions.
One of the apprehensions, I won't go into
all of them.
She made mention of three or four apprehensions.
One of the apprehensions was, I'm going to
get married to you and there are many
other wives.
I'm sensitive.
I'm sensitive.
And Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
I will deal with your sensitivity.
So that was her temperament.
She was sensitive.
But Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt
with her sensitivity.
Never after that do you find any complaint
of her sensitivity.
So sometimes there is different, you're going to
get married to a woman, she might have
different temperaments.
It is all well known that Hazrat Hafsa
radiallahu ta'ala anha was the daughter of
Umar ibn Khattab.
Umar ibn Khattab ash-shadduhum fee amrillahi umar.
So certain manifestations of that particular quality was
also found in Hazrat Hafsa radiallahu ta'ala
anha.
But Nabiya sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt with
her.
So one thing I would say that, no
matter what the temperament of your spouse is,
you deal with their temperament and you still
do good to her.
The second thing that I would like to
make mention of is that, and we learn
this from the example of Nabiya sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam.
So we must learn the temperament.
Sometimes also there are certain types of funny
situations that happen.
The wife has a certain expectation, you take
it in another way.
So one day, the wife got up in
the morning and told the husband, I saw
a dream.
In this dream I saw there was, you
know, great amount of jewellery.
That I saw great amount of jewellery that
I got at the time of my birthday.
Or at a particular type of occasion, I
got lot of jewellery and there was lot
of jewellery in front of me in my
dreams.
So the husband said, don't worry, don't worry.
On your birthday, you will see what is
the meaning of the dream.
So she got happy, thinking that maybe on
this particular occasion, he will give her something
with regard to what she saw in the
dream.
So on that particular occasion, he gave her
a book, how to interpret your dreams.
So you see sometimes, what the husband felt
and what the wife felt is two different
things.
Another example that we find from the life
of Nabi SAW, protect your spouses from taunts
from other people.
Sometimes it can happen even in their own
family.
Hazrat Safiyyah r.a was Jewish background.
Nabiya Karim SAW got married to her.
One day she came, she said Nabi SAW,
Ya Rasulullah, the other wives of Nabi SAW
are taunting me and say you are from
Jewish background and they are from Arab background
and because of that, you love them more
than what you love me.
So what did Nabiya Karim SAW say?
Nabi SAW said, Safiyyah, next time they taunt
you, tell them, don't taunt me.
My great-grandfathers were prophets.
Your great-grandfathers were not prophets.
And my husband is a Nabi of Allah.
So sometimes whenever your wife gets taunted, what
we learn from Nabiya Karim SAW, stand up
for your wife.
Stand up for your wife.
When there is taunts, that's what happened.
Nabiya Karim SAW showed her the way with
regard to it.
Sometimes one important thing is you must understand
your spouse.
And I always tell the people that we
don't do this.
I mean sometimes we say we must follow
the sunnah, but where do we do this?
So Nabiya Karim SAW one day told Hazrat
Aisha RA, I know when you are in
a good mood with me and I know
when you are not.
You are happy but you are not in
such a good mood.
You are just sort of, at a particular
time you are at a level space.
And sometimes you are in a very good
mood.
Ya Rasulullah, how do you know?
And Nabiya Karim SAW said when you are
in a good mood, in your conversation, and
the Arabs used to say a lot of
oaths.
So during the course of your conversation you
say, Rabbi Muhammad, by the Lord of Muhammad
SAW.
And things are not going so well, then
what happens you say?
You say, Rabbi Ibrahim by the Lord of
Ibrahim SAW.
Then I know something is not, you know,
you're not in the very same level of
mood the way it is.
Now do we know the moods of our
wives?
If we say you must follow the sunnah,
do we know that?
Do we know that Nabi SAW knew the
mood of his wife immediately?
And do we know that?
Do we know the favorite color of our
wife?
From this we learn that you must know
the moods.
You must know how your wife is.
This is what Nabi SAW put speaker from
Hazrat Aisha RA when she was in the
best of moods and when she was not.
So you must understand your spouse.
It's very important for you to understand your
spouse.
And this goes both ways.
I'm just giving you the example from the
husband to the wife because I'm giving the
example from our beloved Nabi SAW.
Another important aspect we learn from the marital
life of Nabi SAW and this is something
I always tell people brothers, all our romance.
Today we have all of these type of
things.
Unfortunately today when we discuss romance and love
and all of those type of things, we
only take it in the illicit manner.
In our sharia, all our intimacy, all our
romance or everything must be focused around the
marriage itself.
So we learn these beautiful things that Hazrat
Aisha RA says Nabi SAW used to sleep
on my lap and sometimes when he used
to sleep in my lap, he used to
read Quran while sleeping on my lap, while
laying down on my lap.
Many a times Nabi SAW we all know
that in majri and nabawi there is a
pala known as istiwana is sarir.
So Nabi SAW used to put his head
on that pala and Hazrat Aisha RA used
to put oil on the head of Nabi
SAW, on the hair of Nabi SAW while
in i'tikaf.
And then she says sometimes Nabi SAW I
used to drink water, Nabi SAW used to
take the glass turn the glass around and
to show me a point that I've got
so much love for you, drink water from
the very same place where I put my
mouth.
And sometimes I used to eat meat, he
used to take the meat and say, I
take the meat and he used to turn
the meat around and eat from where I
eat from.
We learn romance from where?
Why do we have to learn from anyone
else?
But we learn from our beloved Nabi SAW
and I can just go on making mention
of each and everything with regard to it.
Care for your spouse.
Take care of your spouse.
Hazrat Safiya RA during the course of hajjatul
wida, she came to complain to Nabi SAW
that my back is fainting.
Now I don't know how we will react
when our wives come.
Many a times when we say they react
more kindly than what we react when they
have any pain.
So what did Nabi SAW took his shawl,
made it into a small bundle and told
her that whenever you get up on the
camel and you sit sometimes maybe because of
the long stages you are riding on the
camel, it could have an impact put that
shawl behind your back so that it will
help you in your backache.
The care that Nabi SAW gave.
When her you know, her camel broke down
while they were going for hajjatul wida so
she started crying.
What happened?
My camel is broken now maybe I'll have
to stay here and I'm going to miss
out on such a momentous momentous journey.
The last hajj of Nabi SAW so she
started crying.
Nabi SAW came into a tent and is
made mentioned in the books of hadith he
took his hands and he wiped her tears
off with his own hands.
Care for the spouses we learned from the
marital life of Nabi SAW.
I'll give you one more example.
I can go on giving many examples such
an amazing aspect.
Why don't we learn in our marriage to
learn from the marriage of our beloved Nabi
SAW.
And one thing is such an amazing thing
is this, that you support one another in
anxiety.
If there is challenges, you support one another.
So this we learn from the other side
now, from the wife side.
So when Nabi SAW got his first wahi,
worried about the responsibility that Allah has placed
upon him where did he go?
He go to his wife and he said
cover me cover me I'm afraid with regard
to my nafs and my life.
Such an amazing incident has happened.
So what did Hazrat Khadija r.a do?
Perhaps in today's time, if the husband comes
and says something, the wife says, you're always
seeing illusions of grandeur.
But what did she say?
I take an oath Allah will never disgrace
you.
You're all the time mending relationships.
You're bringing people together.
You're entertaining guests.
You're always taking the path of the poor
and the underprivileged.
You are taking the path of, you know,
Haqq all the time.
Whether other people accept in you or not.
Whether other people want to believe in you
or not.
In the being in whose hands lies the
life of Hazrat Khadija I bear witness that
you are the Rasul of Allah.
The first person to bear witness to the
greatest truth created by Allah was a woman
by the name of Khadija r.a, his
wife.
She supported him when he had khashitu ala
nafsi, I'm afraid.
When he was afraid, she supported him.
That is how a Muslim marriage is.
That is what we learn from Nabiya Karim's
marriage.
And therefore, you know, the hadith says that
Nabiya Karim s.a.w. said, I never
saw something like nikah that give rise and
manifestation to the nikah, to the love of
two individuals than nikah.
Do two individuals have love?
There is no better way for them to
manifest that love than in nikah inshallah.
And we make du'a that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala grant this nikah and indeed
all of the nikahs in the Muslim ummah
with the sunnah of Nabiya Karim s.a
.w. How Nabi s.a.w. dealt in
his marriage?
We must also have those very same qualities
in our marriage.
Say inshallah and ameen, inshallah.