Ebrahim Bham – Good manners
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah. Asmaa amavado. Follow,
respected
elders
and
brothers.
The Deen that Allah subhanahu wa has given us comprises of various
departments, various phases,
and each and every one of them has its own importance.
For example, one of the most important parts of our deen is
Iman Yat, what we believe in,
and that is captivated and inculcated in Imani mujal and
Imani mufasal, which you and I, we have learned in madrasa days. Then
we have Ibadat. And one important part of our dean that today I
would like to discuss and shed light on is that of a
which means good conduct and good character.
And this forms
not only part of our deen, but a very important part of our deen,
as I will go on to explain, great stress and emphasis has been laid
in our Sharia with regard to good
AG, good conduct, good character, good manners. Call it whatever you
want, different definitions, different words, very similar in
terms of the meaning. Now, what is good conduct and what is good
character? What is good manners?
Someone has put it a set of behavior that defines what type of
person you are, a set of behavior that defines what type of person
you are. So a person is friendly, a person is kind, a person is
compassionate. You have those qualities in people. They know you
because of those qualities from our Shari point of view, Mufti,
Rafi Osmani, one of our great scholars in his book, when he has
spoken about good akhlaq and good conduct and good character, he has
given three meanings. One is he said badhul maharu doing good to
others. Secondly, he said staying away from harming others. And,
thirdly, meeting people with a cheerful countenance, meeting
people with a smiling face. So this has been one of the
definitions which is such a beautiful definition, good luck
and good conduct is doing good to others, staying away from harming
others and meeting people with a cheerful countenance, being being
friendly. You know, sometimes today, you and I, we sometimes
think that the more you frown, the more serious you are, the more
pious you are. I don't know where we get that definition from one
Sahabi sets, from the time I met Nabi akarim Saul, every time I met
him, he was smiling. Now, who is more
pious in our beloved Nabi Ya Karim sahasram, but today we have this
more I stay away from people, the more I frown, the more I'm serious
I am pious. There's no piety. There's no definition of piety.
Dr abuela arafi ramatually, one of the khalifas of mahatan.
Rahmatullah, one of our great scholars. He has written a very
amazing definition of good conduct, and he had put it this
way, that good conduct is dealing with people in such a manner that
your
your conversations, your conduct with them, is such
that they never feel inconvenienced by you dealing with
them. Good Conduct is that you deal with people in such a manner
that they never feel inconvenienced by the manner that
you deal with them. That's what a beautiful so I given you three
definitions of good conduct. Now this is one of the most important.
In fact, it is not only one of the most important, it is one of the
primary
endeavors of our beloved Nabi Akali, Salaam alatala, in the Holy
Quran makes mention Rabbana, Rasulullah, him ayati Kau Ali,
Muhammad, Kitab Awal ikmat Abu Zakim. One of the objectives of
Nabi saola is prophet who means to purify people. So ulama write that
purifying people, purifying people from bad attributes, and
inculcating in it good qualities that form part of our beloved Nabi
Ya Karim sausalams Magnificent endeavor. And in a hadith, Nabi Ya
Karim sausalam was more specific.
When he said in NAMA, Abu et tu li Uttam Mima, makarimal, akhlaq, I
have been sent by Allah to correct people's conduct and character in
the manners I have been sent by Allah so correcting people's
conduct and they manage and the akhlaq is part of our beloved Nabi
akarim Saul salam's Magnificent endeavor, not only part of his
magnificent endeavor. The hadith tells us that Nabi akarim Saul
said, I was sent by Allah Tala to do this. Now, when we look at
this, we say, Why is it like that? Why did Allah Tala give so much
emphasis upon it? And Nabi akarim sahala was told that latala sent
you to correct people's conduct and character. Well, I'll just
give you three reasons in today's time why I like to enumerate my
points. Is we all know that we are living in a time of Tiktok and all
these things today. People's concentration spend is very
limited, very limited. There used to be a time when ulama used to
give talks one hour, two hours. People used to listen. Nowadays
you go over 50 minutes. People are they can't they can't concentrate.
Therefore you have HDHD, and people have to take Ritalin and
all of those things to have people's concentration. Because
the
era that we are living in, people don't have much concentration
span. So amongst the reason why there is so much of emphasis.
Firstly, a person who's got good manners and good conduct, his life
will be peaceful, stable and happy, and his life will be a
means and a source of happiness to other people. When your clock is
good, your manners is good. You are be meeting people in a
beautiful manner. You are smiling. Then not only will you be happy,
not only will your life be happy, but your life will be a source of
happiness to others. Other people will like to be around you. Sahaba
loved to be next next to nabia. Karim sausal Because of his
conduct. Nabi akkarim saslam was not someone who was harsh. He was
not someone who was, you know, vulgar. Allah. Tala in the Quran
says fabima rahmatim in Allah. He didn't tell him it is Allah's
rahmat that the Prophet of Allah was compassionate and soft
to you kalbi, learn for them in holy if he was harsh and he was
vulgar, then holy you would not have surrounded him. Today. People
like to surround people who are friendly. We've got enough, you
know, people who are vulgar and rude. We don't need them in our
life. Or if they are there, which we are going to have to stay away
from them. One of the best ways of happiness today is keep yourself
away from negative people. They will be negative people, but the
best way of achieving happiness, keep yourself away from negative
people. Otherwise they will keep bring negativity in your life
also. So Allah says, if the prophet was harsh and vulgar,
people would not have surrounded him. And why is Allah? Look at
what the Hadi, the ayah, tells us who are the Sahaba Abu Bakar, Omar
Uthman Ali and people like Mahadevi, Jabal, Abdullah, Masood,
Allah Tala says they used to love Nabi akarim. So assalam, they used
to come close to Nabi akarim sausal Because he was kind,
considerate and soft upon them. If he was harsh, those great
companions would not have surrounded him, says Allah in the
Quran. Now, where do you think that you're going to be harsh
people will surround you and come next to you, even your wife will
come next to you.
Even, therefore the NABI akarim said, Be kind and considerate to
your wife, wash. Be good and kind to your family members. We
sometimes feel that a conduct is for other people, not for the not
for the wives, not for the for the family. It starts off from the
family, then from there, it moves out to other people. So one of the
the aspects of the the importance of why is it so emphasized is the
person who had good conduct, and he himself will lead a pleasant
and happy life, and He will be a source of happiness to others.
Second reason,
we have been told, takalah, emulate the characteristics of
Allah. Now you can't emulate the characteristics of Allah by making
ibadah. Allah doesn't make ibadah, right?
Allah, we need Ibadah for our reason. Allah doesn't need to make
Ibara to anyone. He is not born from anyone. He does not beget. He
is not begotten. Lisa kamitri, Shay, there is no one like Allah,
Subhanahu wa so where are you going to emulate the
characteristics of Allah? Allah has got qualities of kindness,
compassion, forgiveness. So when we say, emulate the
characteristics of Allah. You can only emulate the characteristics
of Allah through the means of akhlaq and conduct.
So for example, we see Allah Tala is Rahman and Rahim. Now many a
times people will say, but these things are so similar in meaning,
they both come from one root word, which means.
Is Raha mercy. But there is a very big difference between Rahman and
Rahim. Rahman means he whose mercy is vast. It's here. That's why
they say in Arabic, in the terminology of Sharia, they say
Rahman at dunya or Rahima akhirah. Rahman is to do with as dunya
Rahim is to do with the aht, why Allah's Rahman? Rahman means his
rahmat is very old, engulfing and vast and encompassing in this
world. He even gives kafirs food. And he he is happy if you show
kindness to even disbelievers.
The creation and Allah, meaning the believers Allah. Nabislam
said, the creation of Allah is the family of Allah. Allah has created
them. They are the creation of Allah. And the way you and I love
if someone is good to our family, Allah loves it, you must be good
to the family and the creation of Allah. So Rahman means he whose
rahmat and mercy is all engulfing, all encompassing, very vast. Rahim
means he whose His mercy is specific that will be in the year
after, in the year after Allah's Mercy will only be for the
believers the disbelievers will have no share of Allah's mercy
there. If you don't have Iman, there is no mercy for you. And
there are many examples of the Quran I don't have the time, but
I'm just giving you the example. So where are you going to emulate
the characteristics of Allah in the field of akhlaq in good
conduct? And then it is only in the feel of good conduct that you
and I have the opportunity to be able to show people the beauty of
Islam. There used to be a time when people used to accept Islam
because of the good conduct of believers. There are many
examples,
not only in the time of Sahaba even now Nabi akarim Sahara
conquered Makkah, and when he conquered Mecca, he told some
Bilal to give the azan. So you know, when the people, you
conquered them. You have just conquered them. The youngsters of
Mecca, they started making a mockery of the azan. They made a
mockery of the azan today, someone, none this believer, make
a mockery of the azan. Will make jihad against them, but we want to
go and kill them. Nabi akarim saw assalam, saw them and saw that who
was the main person making the mockery. His name was Abu
mahazura. Nabi akarim sahasram called him Abu mahazura. You were
mocking the azan, but you got such a beautiful voice. You got such a
beautiful voice. You got such a beautiful voice. Nabi aksharam
said, Come I teach you the azan. You give the azan. And Nabi akarim
sahasram taught him the azan, and then he became so impressed that
he became a Muslim. And then Nabi akarim saulam, at a young age of
him, nebuchadne of haram,
who became the Muslim of the Haram, the one who was mocking the
azan.
Why did he become a Muslim and become the Muslim? Because of
namia Karim Solak Nabi akism dealt with him in such a manner that he
became a Muslim?
Are people accepting Islam because of our conduct, or are people
running away from Islam because and may Allah that people run away
and stay away from Islam because of the way we have conducted
ourselves with them? It will be one of the greatest tragedy that
Allah Tala were to call us on the Day of qiama and said, This person
was inclined to Islam because of your conduct. He went away from
Islam.
So show people, it is in this particular way that you see non
Muslim is not going to come and see your tahajjud prayers, no
matter how much you make dua to Allah in a which is good. I'm not
saying he's not good, but he is not going to see your tahajjud
prayers. He is not going to see your Ibadan. How is he going to
come to understand the teachings of Islam by your conduct and your
monetary dealings and your financial dealings. So these two
things are the esthetics of Islam. Now, for example, we go to a
building and you see a beautiful building. Someone says, what a
beautiful building, because the foundation is so beautiful. You
ever heard someone say, do you judge
a building by the Foundation? Ever heard anyone say, what a beautiful
building the foundations are so nice. No one judges a building by
the Foundation. Yet,
if there is no foundation, the building will come crumbling down.
Punial Islam, wala comes. Islam is resting on five principles, five
pillars. That is our foundation. But the foundation no one judges
the beauty of a building by the Foundation. What to judge the
beauty of a building by the esthetics, beautiful painting,
beautiful carpets, beautiful architecture. Our akhlaq is like
the esthetics of a building. Our Ibadan is like the palace. We need
the palace. Without it, the Islam will come crumbling down. But you
don't judge the beauty of Islam by a person's Ibadan. It's between
him and Allah, a.
People will judge Islam. Just recently, I was reading, in fact,
two, three weeks ago, and I put it in in the Ulama groups, the
WhatsApp groups, Karis Siddiq, bangalam tulali, he came to South
Africa, I think twice. Everyone acknowledges his piety. He was
staying in a remote village in India.
He used to buy groceries from a Hindu shopkeeper,
closely from a Hindu shopkeeper. When he passed away, he went to
the house to condone and sympathize with the people of the
house. So they had, we had few daughters. The daughter said,
you know, they used to call it baba, baba, our father passed
away. Who's going to take care of our leads? Who's going to get us
married now in India, unfortunately, marriage for for
for daughters in particular, becomes a big burden for parents.
It's one of the ignorant customs of India, which we have to say,
because unlike in Islam, where the man gives a dowry, in in India, it
is a woman who have to give the dowry in the form of jazz, right?
So he said, Who's going to take care of us? Married. I had
relationship with your father. I will get to people married, and he
got all of those non Muslim daughters married.
Now you tell me what will be the impression that he left behind to
the people who were there. So it is in akhlaq that we will show
people that the beauty of Islamic teachings. So these are three
reasons why I gave you about the importance. I can give you many
reasons. One is, one is that the importance it plays in our own
only in the field of character, we emulate the characteristics of
Allah, only in the field of conduct. We show people the beauty
of Islam, then
the importance with regard to it, so much of importance that the
Ulama have said the blemish of Ibadan can be made, can be
overcome with good character, but the blemish of good conduct cannot
be made up by good Ibadan. Now let me explain to you this, sometimes
there is weakness in your Ibadan. The weakness of your Ibadan
can be made up and can be filled with good conduct,
but the blemish of your conduct cannot be made up with more
Ibadan. Now,
let me give you an example to show you this, sahabat stole Nabi a
Karim sausamya rasulallah in our in our village, in our vicinity,
there is a woman who makes lot of Nafil Ibadan. I'm talking about
fellows, fellows everyone must do. There is no compromise about that.
Anyone making five times NAMAs, he's not doing anyone a favor.
He's doing his basic compulsion and his basic obligation. Someone
in our vicinity, the woman, she makes lot of Ibadan, Nafil Ibadan,
but she is at odds and hostile with everyone in the neighborhood.
She doesn't get along. She swears she abuses. She is rude. Nabi
akarim So said, If she stays like that, she will go to jahannam
Ya Rasulullah in our vicinity, there is someone who reads for us,
but not lot of nafili Bhagat, but she is kind and compassionate and
she is good in akhlaq and conduct with everyone in the vicinity and
the neighborhood. Oh, my companion, she will go to Jannah.
So what did I say?
The weakness of akhlaq cannot be made up with more nafili balit,
but the weakness of Ibadan, we didn't make lot of nafilibad, you
are good in ah, the weakness of your Ibadan can be made up with
good akhlaq.
I said Maharaj Shabi Ahmed Usmani Rahmatullahi was the first person
to lift up the Pakistani flag at the time of independence. He wrote
a commentary of the Sahih Muslim fatul mulim. In fatul mulim, he
has written this, which I have translated, and I've kept it so no
one can say that. You know you quoting not correctly. You know
what he had said. The person who severs family relationship does
not assist and help his relatives, causes difficulty to neighbors,
searches for faults in people, talks and behave arrogantly, will
not enter Jannah, even if that person,
if his Salat and his tasbih and zikr is in abundance,
he will not enter Jannah no matter how much of nafilibad is done
because his akhlaq is is rotten.
Now you tell me, does anyone regards good so importantly, the
way Islam has taught us with regard to it, let me give you
another example with regard to the the importance in the Minal
directory garage, I mean, a believer, through the means of
good conduct, get the same reward as someone who reached the hadjud
all night and makes Nafil Rosa everyday
anyone who makes the Hajj every day, everyone regards him as
pious. The hadith says the one who has good conduct gets the same
reward. Have you ever heard someone saying that a person who
good conduct is very pious?
But why?
Don't you say that the Hadith says he is so as pious as the one who
is the ajud. Every night,
the most you will say for about a person who has good conduct, Haro
Manasi, he is a good person, but noone will call him pious. But the
Hadith says he is as pious as the one who is the ajud. Now let me
give you another example which is even more amazing.
The weightiest thing to be weighed on the scale of your good deeds in
yorufau, Mizani mini the weightiest thing to be weighed on
the scale. You and I, our understanding of Deen, someone
tells you, what is the weightiest thing that we weighed on your
scale of good deeds? By and large, I'm not saying these are not
saying these are not important, but that is our understanding of
Deen. What did nabia Karim saw? As said, The weightiest thing to be
weighed on the scale of your goodies will be what
it will be good conduct will be good manners. And how are you
approach people? Now time is I said, I have to speak to 10. Kusu.
I've got another 545, minutes. What is the manifestation of good
conduct? How do we manifest good
conduct? Says Nabi Akari, one day, met him, and he said, yakba,
Salman, haramman, Salamat, manifestation of good conduct. Oh
ogba. When you meet people, reconcile with whomsoever cuts off
from you, give whoever deprives you, and forgive whoever wrongs
you.
I challenge people to live according to this particular type
of standard that Nabi akarim sahalam set. In fact, when one
Hadith, Sahaba said that this particular Hadith used to be in
the scabbard where Nabi yaIm sarsam kept his sword. This hadith
used to be in that particular place.
Now you normally a sword is something that you use in jihad.
It is a
aspect of strength. But in that, this hadith was placed in Nabi
yaim's place, where he kept the sword. Silman Qatar
give reconcile with whoever cuts with you today, you and I, you
keep good with relatives who are good to you. Nabhi saw some said
that is debt for debt, butter for fat. What is good? So in that
debt, even an animal does, What? What? What? Kamal is there? What
perfection is there that you do good to someone who does good to
you? Nabhi sahasram said he does not fulfill the rights of
relatives who believe that if they do good to me, I will do good to
them. What what perfection is that he fulfills the rights of
relatives who do good to them, irrespective how they behave to
you.
And then Nabi saslam Give to whoever deprives you. He who does
not give to you, go and give him more and forgive the one who
wrongs you. This is a manifestation of good conduct,
right? Allah, ask Nabi Ya Karim saola once ya rasulallah, tell me
the best of deeds. Tell me the best of deeds.
How have we misunderstood our deen,
do you know what Nabi Ya Karim sa oslam gave a reply to the best of
deeds. And I know if we were to ask the question, what will be our
what is Muslim? The best of deeds? It khalu SURU, to give a believer
happiness, to make him happy.
We are only good to give other Muslims sadness, grief and
tension. That's what we are good for in today's time. But it never
saw Sam said the best of deeds is to give happiness to a believer,
to feed those who don't have food, and to give clothes to those who
do not have clothes. The Best of deeds, I challenge anyone that, if
anyone what we have asked you before hearing this hadith, what
is the best of deed? No one would have come with this particular
answer, that the best of deed is to make a Muslim happy. No one
would have come up with an answer. But that is a Hadith of our
beloved. So the second manifestation, one is Silman Qatar
Wafu Amman zaraq was in ilaman Asahi. The second is
Muslim, and a Muslim is always friendly.
I made mention today. Our definition of you know, piety is a
person must be serious. No, a Muslim, there is no good in a
person who is not befriending other people, and he people don't
befriend him, please. No. Lakhira. There's a hadith of Nabi sauce.
There's no good in a person who doesn't befriend people and people
don't befriend him.
There's no good in a person who doesn't have friends and people
don't like him to be any friend. What good is there in a person?
And perhaps one of the most amazing, you know, aspects with
regard to good afloat manifestation is to make everyone
feel important,
to give everyone due Aristotle had said that the root cause of enmity
and hostility when a person feels slighted, when you look down upon
a person and you you you dishonor him, that becomes the root cause
of hostility and fighting. Nabi akarim sahasram gave everyone
importance. How many will ask? RadiAllahu Tamu says that one day
I went.
Navey Karim sausali and said, Ya Rasulullah am I better? Is Abu
Bakar better? Navi sausali had to give an answer Abu Bakar because
he was to be the first Khalifa, and then ya rasulallah Umar, then
Uthman, now forget the answer. Asked, why did he ask the
question? Do you know why he asked the question?
Sahaba said everyone felt that he was closest to nabia Karim
sausalam
Give everyone importance. Navi salsa never met a person where
that person was the first to take away. You know, nabia Karim
sausalam Always was the last to take away his his hand away from a
greeting. Whenever Nabi saw some saw someone, that person averted
his gaze. Nabi saucelam was never the first to await his case. So
four manifestations I have given you with regard to good quality.
And let me conclude with a beautiful you know, incident when
hazard khatijah, when nabiha Karim saw assalam, came to nabiha Hazrat
Khadija after he got his first wahi Dezi and worried about the
responsibility, and he came to hazat Khadija Radi Allahu atano.
And he said, you know, zambiloni, zamalin, you know, cover me with a
blanket. I'm afraid whether I will be able to fulfill this
responsibility. Now, ulama tell us that when NaVi so as received the
greatest trust, where did he go? First to he went to his wife. So
today, you and I, where will we go? We are supposed to have a
relationship with our wife where we share everything and she shares
everything with us. Someone had said, very beautifully, a Muslim
wife looks looks half a life for a husband and the other half
wondering where he is.
Half the wife, half the life she's looking for a husband, other half
wondering where he is. And someone said, Whenever a husband says, I'm
at home at five minutes. I'm at home in five minutes. That five
minutes, and the wife saying, I'm ready in five minutes. It's the
same five minutes. There's a same fact. But now, where did he go?
First to he came to his wife and she said, What? She's what an
amazing thing. She said, Wallahi.
Oh, my Asmaa. Never disgrace you. Allah won't disgrace you. Why did
she say, Allah won't disgrace you? Because you read long, long
Namazi.
What did he say? What did she say? Why Allah won't disgrace you? She
showed us the criteria of why Allah won't disgrace Nabi Sara,
she showed us the criteria of a good person. In raham, you mend
the ties of relationship.
You all the time. You are taking up the responsibility of people
who are poor and dispossessed.
If you are entertaining the guests, you are happy helping the
people with regard to restoring their rights. Well, not enough. I
take an oath by the being in whose hands lies. The Life of Khadija,
whether other people accepting you or not, I, as your wife, bear
witness that you others,
the first person to bear witness to the greatest truth was a woman,
and on what basis she said that you are such a beautiful human
being. And why are you beautiful? Not because your ibarat is wrong,
but because your akhlaq is so good, brother, strive to bring
that in our life, because Wallahi, our communities have lost that
beautiful attribute which was once upon a time, the hallmark of ours.
May Allah give us a topic. You topic i.