Ebrahim Bham – Gender base violence- Islamic Solotion
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the history and context of human rights, including the importance of fulfilling obligations and avoiding violations. They also touch on the negative impact of activism and the need for protecting one's rights. The segment emphasizes the importance of honoring one's spouse's actions and emotions in the context of their relationship, as well as not giving false advice. The speakers also mention a campaign against gender based violence and the importance of activism in addressing issues like domestic violence and domestic violence in general.
AI: Summary ©
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillahi wahdah, wassalatu wassalamu ala man la
nabiyya ba'dah, amma ba'du fawdu billahi minash shaitanir
rajim, bismillahir rahmanir rahim, wa ttaqullaha allathee tasa
'aduna bihi wal arham, sadaqallahul azeem.
My dear respected elders and brothers, we begin
by praising almighty Allah, sending salutations upon our
beloved nabiya kareem sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
An important part of our religion, it is
the right of fellow human beings.
How do we interact with people across the
board?
How do we interact with our family members,
with our relatives, with our wives, with our
neighbors, with people in our society and community,
and across the faith spectrum?
And this is known as huququl ibad.
And in English we will term it as
the rights of fellow human beings.
In other words, human rights.
However, when we talk about human rights, we
think about the political concept of human rights.
And human rights in that sense has become
a guise for cultural crusade and imperialism.
It is the system that has created an
unjust global system, allowing those who are more
powerful to invade lands and marginalize morality, religion
and justice with maximum impunity and minimum accountability.
This is however a completely different subject.
What I'm talking today about is the rights
that we owe to one another.
What an important part of our religion this
is.
In a hadith in sunan-i bayhaqi, Hazrat
Aisha radiallahu ta'ala said, There are three
types of deeds.
One deed that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
will not forgive by his own declaration.
Allah will not forgive a person who associates
partners to Allah.
That is a cardinal sin.
A person who dies while associating partners to
Allah, then Allah will not forgive that sin.
One is a sin that is violating the
laws of Allah.
That is up to Allah ta'ala whether
he wants to forgive or not.
And the third type of deed is a
deed that is between you and a fellow
human being.
And that Allah ta'ala has decreed that
Allah won't forgive until the person whom you
have wronged, he does not forgive you.
And therefore ulama have said from these three
types of deed, sometimes the rights of fellow
human beings is even more severe and more
important than the rights of Allah.
The reason is Allah is ghafoorul rahim.
Allah is very forgiving, very merciful, very compassionate.
And if you violate the laws of Allah
and you are sincere in your repentance, Allah
ta'ala most likely will forgive you.
But human being is not so forgiving.
If you do wrong to a human being,
he might not forgive you when you need
it most.
And Allah has decreed Allah won't forgive you
until the human being himself forgives you.
So in that way some ulama have said
that it assumes even greater importance than the
rights of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And one of the important things with regard
to Islam, whenever Islam tells us about something,
whenever Islam commands us about something, it always
gives us principles how to achieve that which
it has commanded.
In a similar manner when it prohibits something,
it tells us how to stay away from
it.
A big example, Allah ta'ala has prohibited
zina and adultery and fornication.
But Allah ta'ala has also in the
same way prohibited all areas which lead to
zina and adultery.
Therefore, seeing a woman with lust, touching a
woman, being alone with her in privacy, all
of these things have been prohibited.
Why?
The principle of Islam is when it prohibits
something, it prohibits all avenues leading to that
prohibition.
In a similar manner when Allah ta'ala
gives us a command, it also tells us
about how we are supposed to achieve that
command.
So when Allah ta'ala tells us about
human rights, fulfilling the rights of other people,
then it also tells us how to fulfill
that rights.
And I will just give you three or
four principles about what Allah ta'ala has
made mention with regard to this.
Human rights, the rights of fellow human beings
is part of deen and it is part
of piety.
Sometimes we tend to forget this.
We make this distinction between a good human
being because he is good to human beings
and a pious person because he makes ibadah.
So we make this distinction.
And I don't know where we get this
distinction.
So a pious person is he who reads
salat properly, but a good person is he
who is good with other human beings.
Although Nabiya Karim s.a.w. had said,
إِنَّ الْمُؤْمِنَ لِيُدْرِكَ بِحُسْنِ خُلْقِهِ دَرَجَةَ قَائِمٍ بِاللَّيْلِ
وَسَائِمٍ النَّهَارِ A mu'min through the means of
good conduct gets the same reward of a
one who makes tahajjud all night.
And he makes nafil and rauzash all the
days in which he is supposed to keep.
So the rights of human beings is part
and parcel of deen and part and parcel
of piety.
One of our great scholars in the past,
Dr. Abdullah Rahmatullah Ali who was a khalifa
of Mu'atami Rahmatullah Ali, one day came
to his ustad and his spiritual mentor to
tell him that the desired quality of ihsan
which Nabiya Karim s.a.w. was asked
about in hadith of Jibrail, مَلْإِحْسَنَ What is
ihsan?
أَن تَعْبُدَ اللَّهَ تَعَنَّكَ تَرَى فَإِن لَّمْ تَكُنْ
تَرَاهُ فَإِنَّهُ يَرَى You worship Allah Ta'ala
as if you are seeing Allah.
If you can't do that, at least think
that Allah Ta'ala is seeing you.
So he said, alhamdulillah, I got that desired
state in my salah expecting the ustad to
compliment him.
The ustad said, only in salah?
Now bring that quality that you are seeing
Allah, otherwise Allah is seeing you in every
relationship and every walk of life.
How you deal with your wife, how you
deal with your neighbors, how you deal with
your relatives, Allah Ta'ala will take account
with regard to it.
One of our great scholars who wrote a
commentary on the famous book of hadith, Mawlana
Shabbir Ahmad Usmani.
He was the one who was the first
person to raise the Pakistani flag at the
time of independence.
And of course that time, ulama supported the
concept that it will become a haven and
it will become a means of Islamic rule
in that land.
Unfortunately, it didn't turn out that way.
He has written in this commentary, and I
want you to listen to this what he
has written.
A person who severs family relationship, does not
assist and help his relatives, causes difficulty to
neighbors, searches faults in other people, talks and
behaves arrogantly, will not enter Jannah even if
his salah and zikr are abundant.
He will not enter Jannah because he has
not fulfilled an important part of Islam.
The second thing with regard to this, you
know, rights of human being is, Allah will
take account of violation of human rights that
we don't fulfill the rights of one another
just as He will take account of the
violation of His own right.
This has been beautifully encapsulated in one saying,
in one incident.
There was a very famous Persian ruler.
So when he conquered a place in Persia,
he was pious, but of course the army
were not so pious.
So they came to an old woman.
She only had one means of income which
was her cow.
They slaughtered it, they ate the meat, and
for them it was nothing.
But for her it was a means of
income.
So she was very disappointed.
Someone told her that the king is a
very just ruler.
He is a just king.
Go and complain to him what his army
had done.
And he is crossing this bridge tomorrow.
Go and wait at that bridge and go
and speak to him about it.
And she went to that bridge and when
the king came, she told him an amazing
thing.
She said, either you sort me out and
you restore my rights on this bridge or
otherwise I will catch you on that bridge.
Meaning, pull Sirat.
Either you sort me out now or otherwise
I will take account for you when you
need it most.
Then it will be very difficult for you
to be able to escape.
So violation of human rights, Allah Ta'ala
will take account of it.
Thirdly, in our deen there is greater emphasis
on the fulfillment of obligation rather than the
receiving of your rights.
I don't know how many times to mention.
Allah Ta'ala in the Qur'an has
made mention of this.
You know, لَإِمْ بَسَدْتَ إِلَيَّ يَدَكَ لِتَكْتُرُنِي مَا
حَنَ بِبَاسِتِ يَدْيَ إِلَيْكَ لِأَكْتُلَكَ There were two
sons of Adam a.s. One killed the
other son.
The famous incident of Habil and Qabil, Cain
and Abel.
So one of them killed the other one.
And when he was about to kill him,
the one who was oppressed said, If you
lift your hand to kill me, مَا حَنَ
بِبَاسِتِ يَدْيَ إِلَيْكَ لِأَكْتُرُنِي I will not do
the same.
Because remember one thing, Allah will not question
you on the day of judgment why you
are oppressed.
Allah will not question you on the day
of Qiyamah why your rights were not being
fulfilled.
But the person who did not fulfill your
rights, and the person who oppressed you, he
will have to account.
So the third important principle with regard to
fellow human beings and fulfilling the rights of
human beings is, you know, worry more about
the fulfillment of your obligation rather than receiving
of your your dues and your rights.
Fourthly, this human rights is an amanat.
And Allah Ta'ala tells us, إِنَّ اللَّهَ
يَعْمُرُكُمْ أَن تُؤَدُّوا الْأَمَانَاتِ Allah Ta'ala commands
you to fulfill amanat and trust.
And fulfill the rights of a fellow human
being is amanat.
Every aspect with regard to fulfillment of the
rights of others is an amanat.
And it reminds me of a statement of
Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه who one day
said that, لَوْ مَاتَ الشَّمْع جَمَلٌ عَلَى شَطِّ
الْفِرَاقِ If a camel dies of hunger on
the back of Euphrates while I'm in Medina,
I'm afraid that that is an obligation and
a trust about which Allah will question me
on the Day of Qiyamah.
Even if an animal dies under my watch,
I'm afraid Allah will question me.
Today look at the rulers of the world.
There are people who are dying of poverty
under their weight and under their rule and
under their watch and it matters nothing to
them.
Fulfillment of the rights of human beings is
an amanat.
It's an obligation.
It is a trust.
And lastly, whenever Allah Ta'ala makes mention
with regard to the rights of human beings,
Allah Ta'ala qualifies it with taqwa.
Fearing Allah.
وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَأَلُونَ بِهِ وَلَا أَرْحَمُ Fear
Allah with regard to the rights of your
relatives.
Why does Allah Ta'ala qualify it with
Allah Ta'ala's fear?
The greater the fear of Allah, the greater
you will see the need to fulfill the
rights of other human beings.
Another important point, I always tell people at
the time of nikah, etc., which is a
very important thing, and that is the more
you fear Allah, the more you fulfill the
rights of Allah Ta'ala, the more greater
and the more happy will your relationship with
fellow human beings be.
Why?
Because the hearts of people are in the
hands of Allah.
If you disobey Allah Ta'ala, what happens?
He turns the hearts of people with cruelty
towards you.
They will not fulfill your rights.
One of our great scholars, Sufyan al-Tawri,
used to say, the day I disobey Allah,
that time they used to have camels for
their conveyance.
The day I disobey Allah, I see the
impact upon it on my camel.
My camel also doesn't want to follow me.
He doesn't follow my instruction.
Why is it so?
Because you have not followed the creator of
the camel.
So if you are not going to follow
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, how do you
expect human beings who have been created by
Allah Ta'ala to turn towards you with
mercy and your relationship will be better.
So these are five principles I have given
you with regard to human rights.
Now one important point why I have started
off this topic today is that in our
country there is the 16 days of activism
against gender based violence.
It is a campaign which the government has
undertaken because of the high rate and prevalence
of gender based and violence against children.
How many times people will say, why do
we need to follow the government or follow
any other entity with regard to choosing a
topic.
But one of the reasons is that when
there is an activism and when there is
a promotion in the media, in social media
about the situation, about any activity, about any
activism, then of course there is much made
about it in the media.
So the reason why we make mention with
regard to it, not that it is an
obligation, but the reason is when everyone is
talking about it, there is activism with regard
to it, there is media statements with regard
to it, we must know our religious obligation
and our religious views with regard to that
matter.
Let me very briefly make mention with regard
to some of the stats without going into
much detail.
According to a 2022 national survey, something like
23% of women in South Africa have
experienced physical violence from their partners.
Approximately 33% of girls, one third have
experienced some form of sexual violence before the
age of 18.
Statistics reveals that a woman is raped every
three hours in South Africa.
The femicide rate in South Africa, the killing
of women in South Africa, is 10.6
per 100,000 women, which is five times
higher than the global average.
Now many times people will say, well that
does not impact upon us, we might be
completely free from that.
Well, are we so free?
Is there a situation that we can say
with confidence that there is no abuse, emotional,
physical, in our marriages and in our relationship?
Maybe perhaps we will be quite surprised with
regard to it.
So this is something that because it is
something that is happening, there is an activism
we need to be aware with regard to
it.
Domestic violence exists in both Muslim and non
-Muslim society.
The position of Islam on the kind treatment
of women is very clear as mentioned in
the Holy Quran and exemplified through the noble
example of none other than the best of
example which Allah Ta'ala says, لَتَكَّانَ لَكُمْ
فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ عُسْوَةٌ حَسَرًا.
Verily in the life of the Prophet ﷺ,
we have a perfect example.
And the Prophet ﷺ's perfect example is
not only about zikr, is not only about
salah, it is about even with regard to
domestic life and every aspect of life.
I'll just give you a few examples from
the marital life of our beloved Nabiye Karim
ﷺ.
You know, this is the perfect example.
Let me first start off by saying that
the Prophet ﷺ never ever lifted his hand.
The Prophet ﷺ never ever lifted his hand
on any woman, on any children.
Never in the life of Nabi ﷺ is
there a record of Nabi ﷺ lifting his
hand to his woman, to his wife or
to any children.
Nabiye Karim ﷺ was an example of kindness
and compassion personified.
And Allah has made mention of it in
the Quran.
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِمْتَ لَهُمْ It is
a rahmat of Allah that the Prophet of
Allah was kind and compassionate towards you.
وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَضًّا غَلِيزَ الْقَلْبِ لَنْ فَضُّوا مِنْ
حَوْلِكِ If he was harsh, and he was
violent, and he was vulgar, people would not
have surrounded him out of love.
My dear respected brothers, this ayah teaches us,
kindness brings people together.
Harshness and vulgarity turns families upside down.
And it turns families away from one another.
Deal with people our beloved Nabi ﷺ taught
us for the wives according to their temperament.
Nabi ﷺ had many wives.
And I'm not saying everyone must have it,
you know.
It's not something that Nabi ﷺ had.
And of course Nabi ﷺ used to fulfill
the rights of everyone.
I'll give you one example.
When he got married to Umm Salma r
.a, she said, Ya Rasulullah, I'm prepared to
marry to you.
It's an honor.
But I'm worried.
And among the worries she made mention was,
I'm sensitive.
I do not know how I will deal
with my co-wives.
And Nabi ﷺ said, Don't worry.
I will deal with your sensitivity.
And not once thereafter do we get any
type of complaint with regard to her complaining
about her sensitivity.
Nabi ﷺ knew she was sensitive.
He dealt with her sensitivity.
Among the wives of Nabi ﷺ, Aisha r
.a was young and enthusiastic.
Hazrat Khadija r.a was wise and matured.
Hazrat Hafsa r.a was the daughter of
Hazrat Umar r.a. She had some of
that characteristics.
Nabi ﷺ dealt with every wife according to
their temperament.
Deal with your wives according to their temperament.
Take into account their temperament and deal with
them accordingly.
Protect your wives from taunts.
Hazrat Safiya r.a one day came to
Nabi ﷺ.
She was from Jewish background and she came
into the Nikah of Nabi ﷺ.
And she said, Ya Rasulullah, the other wives
of Nabi ﷺ are taunting me that because
I'm not an Arab, you do not love
me as much as you love them.
Nabi ﷺ said, Next time they taunt you,
tell them, Don't taunt me.
My husband is a Nabi of Allah.
My husband is Muhammad Rasulullah.
And my great-grandfather is Hazrat Musa and
Hazrat Harun.
Hazrat Musa and Harun.
And they are also Prophets of Almighty Allah.
You don't have the lineage which I have.
If ever you bring a woman, and ever
you bring a wife who is from a
different type of background, from your family, then
you stand up for your wife.
The way Nabi ﷺ stood up for his
wife when she faced taunt.
This is the way of Nabi ﷺ.
Support amidst anxiety.
The husband and wife are supposed to lead
a life where the first port of call
for both of them, whenever there is a
difficulty, whenever there is a challenge, they come
to come and get consolation and sympathy from
one another.
When Nabi ﷺ received the first Wahi, dizzy
and frightened by the strange experience, where did
he go to?
He didn't go to his friends.
He went to his wife.
He went to Khadija ﷺ and said, Zammiluni,
Zammiluni.
O Khadija, cover me, cover me.
Inni khashitu ala nafsi.
I'm afraid with regard to my nafs and
my life.
With regard to the responsibility that has been
bestowed upon me.
What did she do?
Today I always tell people that I'm Someone
parked badly.
Range Rover KY-98.
Someone was parked badly.
Range Rover.
KY-98.
Please remove it and not cause inconvenience.
Jazakumullah.
So where did Nabi ﷺ go when he
taught his first Wahi?
He came to Khadija ﷺ.
Sometimes I say today in our situation, I
make this joke many a times, that a
Muslim wife spends half her life looking for
her husband and the other half wondering where
he is.
Nabi ﷺ came first to his wife.
And she also gave such beautiful words of
support.
O my husband, Wallahi la yughzeetallahu abada.
Allah will never disgrace you.
Innaka latasilu raham.
You all the time mending relationship.
You all the time taking the part of
those who are underprivileged.
And those who are oppressed.
You all the time wa taqarid dhaif.
You are all the time entertaining guests.
You are all the time taking the path
of righteousness.
Walladhi nafsul khadija dhabiyadi.
I take an oath by the being whose
hands lies the life of Khadija.
Whether other people accepted you or not, I
bear witness that you are the messenger of
Allah.
You are the prophet of Allah.
The first person to bear witness to the
greatest truth created by Allah was a woman.
So this was, sometimes you need to understand
your wife.
Nabi ﷺ used to tell Hazrat Aisha, I
know when you are in a very good
mood with me.
And sometimes I even know when perhaps there
is something that is bothering you with regard
to me.
Ya Rasulullah, how do you know this?
Because when you speak to me, when your
mood is good and everything is going well,
the Arabs used to say a lot of
oaths and qasams in their speech.
Then in your oath you said, by the
Lord of Muhammad.
And if there is something that is bothering
you, you say, by the Lord of Ibrahim
ﷺ.
Subhanallah.
Do we understand our spouse?
Do we know the moods of our spouse
when we come home?
Do we know all of these type of
things?
This is where our beloved Nabi ﷺ dealt.
And this is how we are supposed to
take an example.
Nabi ﷺ had said, The greatest mu'min in
terms of iman is the one who has
the best character and conduct.
And the best amongst you are those who
are the best to his women and to
his wives.
It can be understood from this hadith that
a husband's treatment of his wife reflects a
Muslim's good character which in turn reflects his
iman.
If he is not good to his wife,
he does not have proper iman.
That is the sum total of the hadith
which I have mentioned.
And I've given an example from our beloved
Nabi ﷺ.
Conflict in marriage is unavoidable.
And sometimes it happens.
Unless one is conscious of Allah Ta'ala,
it can lead to a lot of anger.
I was recently reading, and I will just
now conclude with these last few sentences and
few words.
It is important that we look at one
of our great scholars, Mufti Rafi Usmani, who
passed away about a year or two back.
He mentioned in one of his mawais, in
one of his lectures, that Dr. Abdullah Arafi,
whom I quoted earlier, his wife came to
visit the household of Mufti Rafi Usmani.
And they told her that why don't you
speak to us with regard to your departed
husband?
How was he in terms of his conduct?
How was he in terms of his relationship
with you?
How did he relate to you?
And he said a sentence.
She said a sentence with regard to her
husband, which when I heard it, you know,
I shuddered.
Because I wonder if anyone can reach that
state of piety which Dr. Abdullah Arafi's wife
made mention of him.
She said, Not once in our marriage did
he change his tone and speak to me.
Not once in the marriage did he change
his tone and speak to me.
Not once did he speak to her in
anger.
That is what comes about because when you
fear Allah, how you treat other human beings.
So even if there is situations with regard
to emotions to manage, the first step would
be to forgive.
And under no circumstances, even when one is
angry or feels justified, is a husband allowed
to humiliate or lift his hands towards his
wife.
This is something that is not correct in
Islamic perspective.
Especially hitting and beating the way it is
understood with regard to abuse.
Be good to your wives.
If you dislike something with regard to your
wife, perhaps you don't like one quality of
her.
And Allah has kept so many other good
qualities in her.
Perpetuate the good and with regard to the
negative, you overlook the negative.
And you gradually bring it to rectification.
And you bring it to correctness.
Nabiya Karim s.a.w. has said in
one hadith, Oh Allah, I make you a
witness.
I want you to listen to this.
Oh Allah, I make you a witness that
I have issued to my ummah a warning
for them that they should fulfill the rights
of the two weak ones in our community
and in our ummah.
The orphans and the women.
Oh Allah, I make you a witness that
I have told my ummah that they are
supposed to look after the vulnerable people in
this ummah.
And amongst those, Nabiya Karim s.a.w.
specifically made mention with regard to the orphans
and with regard to the women.
May Allah give her a tawfiq of understanding.
As I made mention in the beginning stages
of the talk, I just very briefly mentioned
the importance of fulfilling the rights of one
another.
Certain principles with regard to how we are
supposed to fulfill the rights of one another,
said about the fact that we have 16
days of activism, you know, in the country
with regard to gender-based violence.
I gave you steps with regard to how
tragic the situation is in South Africa, and
I'm not saying that it is in our
community, but we need to be careful with
regard to it.
I gave you examples of Nabiya Karim s
.a.w.'s marital life, and I gave you
examples of how Nabiya Karim s.a.w.
in Islam has taught us how we are
supposed to behave with our family.
May Allah give you a tawfiq of understanding.